How can I stop feeling sad from not being in a romantic relationship?

If it makes you feel any better, some of those people in their relationships are no longer in love, yet are stuck in that relationship. For real though. This is what I think of when I get lonely. The grass is definitely not always greener on the other side.

Honestly accept the reality of where you're at with no judgement of yourself, and without any plan to move towards your expectations. Take time to feel all the emotions... whatever they are without self judgment.

Doing this changes our mindset from constant disappointment in unmet expectations, to seeing life as it really is.

Then begin to rebuild your life around this truer reality without unrealistc expectations.

Then you gain the capacity to live life (and enjoy it) from an honest pace of what is, not what I expect and don't have.

That doesn't mean you have no hopes and dreams, but now they're in their proper place.

Hey there-I just want to let you know first and foremost that you’re not alone. I think you’d be surprised how many people meet their significant others later in life. It’s easy to notice couples when that’s all you’re focused on, but I assure you there are plenty of single people your age too-and they probably feel pretty similar to you. And here’s some reality-a lot of the couples you envy now will be broken up or divorced eventually. Not everything that looks perfect on the outside actually is. And it’s better to be alone than to be in an unhealthy relationship that will lower your quality of life.

My first piece of advice is to cut back on social media, or at the very least change which accounts you follow. If you can, connect with more accounts that highlight other things you’re interested in-that way, when you use social media you’re less likely to end up focusing on relationships all over again.

My second piece of advice is pretty cliche, but it works-invest more time and energy in yourself. Do some journaling, and jot down a list of things you’re interested in and skills you want to have. Then, figure out ways to incorporate those into your life every day. Try taking classes at a community college, or even online, and learn something completely new. Travel somewhere you’ve always been curious about. Read new books, listen to new music, invest more time and money into your hobbies. If you’re comfortable, try going to therapy too. Not only will you build confidence, but in a way you’re investing in your dating self too-you’ll make a much more attractive and interesting partner if you have interesting hobbies and life experiences to match.

I know this is difficult. But if at all possible, invest in your current friendships, family, and yourself. From this Reddit post, you sound like a very thoughtful person, and someone who is at least a little hopeful-you don’t want to become resentful, you want to become better. A fitting partner will find their way to you eventually. I really believe that.

You need to grieve for your loneliness. You need to confront the fact that you're lonely, and find closure in that reality.

Try to remember good times and bad times of being alone. Make peace with the loneliness rather than trying to fight it all the time. It is okay to be lonely as long as you allow yourself to be okay with being lonely.

You need to find a way - your way - to be happy for those that have found their happiness, cheer them on in their successes, and also help them grieve when they suffer downturns.

Once you can accomplish this feat, you will no longer be obsessed with punishing yourself for feeling loneliness and trying to be upset or angry over it. You will simply embrace it as what it is and move forward with who you are.

First of all, thank you for not having the kind of jealousy that turns into hatred of other people. That already tells us you're a great person.

As for how to stop feeling sad about not being in a relationship: can I ask what you've tried to do to change that? Dating apps (though I personally am sick of them), asking someone out, etc? Knowing this might help us give you better advice.

I don’t think there is a true answer for this honestly. Besides finding distractions. On the bright side we aren’t getting cheated on or wasting years with someone who can potentially loose the love for us out of the blue or worse. Just keep trying to find the bright side of everything with your life right now. Don’t give up, I keep hearing stories from friends who are older then us who have found their “one”

I Wasted 5 or 6 years with my high school sweet heart and I wished I could get them back.

Honestly OP, to me you mention a lot about watching other people, comparison with other peoples circumstances, and creating narratives that being single is your destiny.

There is no where else in your paragraphs where you mentioned being action oriented and what are the steps you’re actively taking to meet new people, and exposing your presence in as many social events as you can muster. (If you can take one point away from my comment it is this: BE ACTION ORIENTED TOWARDS MEETING AND FINDING A SPOUSE.

It is not true that we have to be fixing or improving various aspects of ourselves like a project before we can show ourselves off in a shiny wait for other ppl to look at. There is also no such bullshit as dating skills! Interpersonal skill can only be improved when you are active in your social life. If you never got in a relationship, every single thing you have to try to fix in yourself is just arbitrary and full of assumptions that can slowly erode your self-esteem. We grow, we learn and we heal in relationships too.

Something I started to do was doing romantic things for myself. I started taking myself on dates, buying myself flowers, celebrating Valentine’s Day as an act of love to myself. It really helped me a lot.

People used to tell me that “it’ll happen when it happens” and “be comfortable with yourself first”, and it used to irritate me a lot. I mean, that’s easy for them to say right? They’re not the one in the position I was.

Around early 2019, after a few rough experiences I decided dating wasn’t for me and I’d date myself. I spent months taking myself out on “dates”, getting to know myself and figuring out what interests I had. One of my favourite things to do was go to this small Arthouse theatre in the city, and sit in the almost empty audience watching foreign films.

I began to really like who I was, and who I was becoming. My internal dialogue went from “you loser” to “you’re doing your best and that’s all okay”.

Soon after I met the love of my life. I didn’t rush it or force it like I might’ve in the past, and it’s been bliss since.

The point is, I felt exactly like you at one stage. That I was some rare, genetically engineered monster unworthy of what seemed to come so naturally to others. In the end it just took exactly what that advice meant. The time and patience to discover me first so I’d know when the right person came along.

I wish you the best of luck, and do it at your own pace. I promise you’re more interesting than what you think you’re missing out on.

I would suggest, try LOVING instead wanted to be LOVED.. see it as an active thing, not passive. Try it. It's really something.

The best time in my life was when I realized I should focus on me. Work hard on building yourself. Amazingly it tends to attract people to you. Just make sure that even when you do find that relationship you don’t stop working on you. That was my mistake. Laziness lead to eventual loss. It happens slowly. Do keep working on you.

I would like to know this as well because I seem to be cursed

The real question is why do you think you are still single?

Are you unattractive yet looking for a pretty girl? Do you have bad social skills and communication? Do you have unrealistic expectations? Can you date someone not for their looks but more their personality and character?

Get used to rejection and put yourself out there even more. Don’t wait till you hit the 40s to really try. You create your reality and your love story. So get real, get active, keep trying and never give up! Stuff being alone.

My first thought while reading through this: aaaaargh, this is difficult to read - because I relate so much!

My second thought after reading this: man, I actually have respect for you writing this post - because you are being actively dealing with your position and working on it.

I don't have much advise, but I'm going to say thankyou.! I want to join this path of growing. I want to overcome my victim mindset/mentality

Practical actionable advice? Get as physically attractive as possible (good haircut,fashion sense, fit body, good hygiene), and also get out in the city life more and socialize. Dating is actually a lot of work and I'm going to go out on a limb an assume you dont put yourself out there enough. Go to events in your city, bars, concerts, join dance clubs, anything really. If you can, try and move to a big city like NYC. Also, this video hopefully will bring you some inspiration. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs.

In regards to not feeling sad - I would make the most out of what you have and be grateful for the freedoms single life offers you and take full advantage of them. You don't have any emotional baggage tying you down. I would try and loose yourself in your hobbies.

Also becoming more spiritual will make you realize happiness isn't something we should aim for in life cause its always a fleeting thing. People in relationships aren't any more happy than you are and instead replace you problems of loneliness with other existential problems. Even the richest man probably isn't anymore happy than the orphaned child. Its human nature to feel exisistential dread

I’m the exact same as you. I’ve been in a few relationships, but nothing has stuck yet. I just got out of the most beautiful relationship and experienced true love finally for the first time. I’ve been in love before with partners, but this was different. If I could go back, I think I wish I’d never met her. Experiencing love like that and then having it taken away is the most painful thing ever. I don’t have an answer to your question because I can’t find the answer myself. I’m struggling, deeply, with this. However, you’re not alone, friend. Keep the faith, and hold the line.

Well let’s make a pact. If neither of us are dating in 6 months we can date each other.

😹 but kinda 😑

Hey. I don't have I good advice but I'm in more or less exactly the same position and I understand how you feel. I think you're being very brave choosing to view other people's happiness in a love as a good thing when you can. That's not always easy. I just try to keep up the mantra.... It can happen. If I keep doing things I enjoy where I meet people.... If I keep doing it... I cannot fail to meet someone eventually. You seem articulate and of compassionate judgement. It will happen. It's hard to be alone. And you feel sad. But don't you give up! If youre just having fun being yourself, in a situation in which people meet new people, whatever that means to you, it will happen.

I’m in a similar situation and have not found love yet. Where I live everyone has basically known each other since high school and everyone is married to their high school sweetheart. A lot of people are always saying focus on yourself and it will happen when you are not looking. I say that statement is half true. I have recently come to the realization that I was surrounding myself with people who did not have my best interest in mind (they were just convenient because we have known each other for so long) and focusing on myself caused me to become extremely isolated to the point that most of my interest were things done alone like art, music, and exercise. Since I didn’t have any good friends or activities that required me to be in the public regularly - that left little space for me to meet any prospective partners. Since I’ve had this realization I’ve dropped my “friends” and have been focusing on basically building a whole new community by joining different organizations and social activities. I’ve only started this like a month ago and while I haven’t been on dates yet I have wayyyyy more support and there is wayyyyy more space to meet prospective partners

I just have to say, I scrolled through some of your other posts and feel like I could have written many of them. Including this one. Your writing style is even quite like mine. Are we soulmates?! ;)

Seriously, I love that you’re open to asking these questions. Many of us have the same level of introspection, but lack the courage to address our fears and worries. FWIW, I think you’re incredibly brave and it says so much about you that you care about your life having meaning. So many just meander through life without thinking about the true meaning of life.

Thank you for giving me the courage to admit to myself that I, too, have this jealousy. Even though I am exceptionally good at pretending I don’t.

Hugs to you. Feel free to message if you want to chat. I hope you can get some better feedback for your question than I’m able to give, but I had to thank you for posting. <3

I’m one of those people who others have a tendency to confide in. And what makes me not feel bad about being single at 36 is knowing that most people don’t have what I long for at all. I can count happy couples on one hand. And therefore I am happy knowing that I have the opportunity and choice to end up with someone great. If I don’t, I still have saved myself from all of the stress of clinging to bad relationships.

Don’t overestimate what others have

When I was your age, I felt the same way until I realized that I was sad - not because I myself really wanted to get married and settle down for life - But I just wished that ALL of my friends were not married/getting married. It’s hard feeling like “the odd one out.”

I’d like to suggest that you try to focus your emotional energy on improving yourself and explore benefits of your life as an single individual. Develop qualities and skills that make you proud of yourself. Do something to make the world a better place for the environment, or for animals, or for people in poor or war-torn countries. When we focus on addressing needs outside our own, we are likely to meet caring intelligent people who can help bring out the best in us.

By the way, I’m almost 70 now and have still not been married though I have been in love affairs over the years with a few amazing men. What I ended up doing with most of my energy was focus on my career so that I could make a nice home for myself. Then just as I was turning 50, I found some courage and adopted my daughter from China. She has brought terrific people into my life for the last 20 years.
I wish you all the best. Nancy

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Well, you probably have to be a little sad. That's our nature. But it's OK to be a little sad sometimes. Distractions work.

Also think about many downsides of relationships. IDK, with my experience it's mainly anxiety. You know, constant responsibility for other person is both satisfying and tedious. Often relationships are annoying. Being alone is being more free. Relationships are also pressure. Now I'm struggling with a couple of things in life. But who cares? It's only my business now.

With all that said. I had a dream. It was my old place. Home. Where I lived with her. I haven't even seen her in the dream. I was just going HOME. I woke up so sad. But I forgot about it quickly.

Remove "should" from your vocabulary. No more "I should be in a relationship by now just like them what's wrong with me".

Switch to saying "I can". "I can try out dating".

The former has you beating yourself up and feeling sad. The latter lets you see possibility that you can pursue at will.

I used to feel a lot like OP. I was single up until last year when I met my current partner. Being in a relationship with someone is nice, but having these feelings of jealousy and lack about not being in a relationship is an illusion. It shouldn’t be your life purpose. It won’t cure your unhappiness and it’s important to find your happiness from within.

The grass is always greener...

I know it sounds strange but create meaning in your life through a variety of ways. Think of it like you’re investing and putting your eggs in different baskets. One place might be the gym, another church, another regular meetups for a hobby like dancing. When you tap into multiple sources for meaning it’s like tapping into vitality. Your spirit and who you are is worth more than a relationship

Honestly. Love yourself first. Enjoy your life. Someone will come along I promise. The more you try the more desperate you "smell"

Hey bro, go and take a hard look at yourself in the mirror! You will see that you are alive and are on this planet 🌎 living and breathing this air. This is a blessing in and of it self. Relationships, marriage, and having children is hard, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t desire or pursue it if that’s something you want to do. Also, age is just a number, if anything the older you get, the wiser and more comfortable you are with yourself. The key is to live life on your own terms bc the second you find yourself in a romantic relationship but things are not working out or you are unhappy, it’s it will be really hard to get out of it, bc you most likely will not want to lose out on that person bc you will probably be attached to them. This is a very common mistake a lot of men make. You need to come to internal peace with yourself. You need to love yourself. You need to be 100% okay with who you are and when the time comes where you meet some, understand that as a man, you need to bring that person into your ship and deal with that other person on a daily basis. Just stay calm and positive and live your best life.

What you see may not always be the reality. I don’t know many happily married people. Learn to love yourself, travel, try new things and you’ll meet new people.

If it makes you feel better, I've been in two relationships, but I still feel this way. I've been single for 5 years, I haven't gone all the way in that time, and it all still feels like it's a hurdle that I'll never be able to climb. Both relationships felt like they started out of being in the right place at the right time...

Or perhaps I should say wrong place at the wrong time because both were miserable failures that went down in flames. The longer one I was in for 2 years and it's the dominating memory of my college experience. I still sometimes think of all the pointless drama I indulged in when I could have been at social events, exploring the area, or studying my passion, and wish I could take that time back.

To be honest, as much as I do relate to your sentiment in my own way, part of me suspects this is just how the overwhelming majority of people feel. Either you're single and you feel self-conscious about it, or you're in a bad relationship that drains your time, energy, and focus. I mean, how many older people constantly joke about how much they hate their spouses? How many people get divorced? How many people put up a front of being happy on Facebook and then fight constantly?

That's not to say that there's no such thing as a good relationship. I've seen perhaps one or two in my time. But they're very, very few and far between. I do think most people are settling for fear of being alone or fear of breaking up, to some extent at least. And that's just not a healthy or good thing to do.

Learn to love yourself and talk to more people you’re attracted to

Dude.. I swear being in a relationship wasn't that great lol.. you'll just get additional problems - problem of your partner will be yours as well. And you'll have less time with friends, and you have to tell your partner all the time where you're going, when did you come back home, etc.. etc, it's like having a parent that is the same age as yours.. 😅😅 plus worse is, sometimes they would not have sex with you cus they feel bad towards you, but is attached to you and can't let you go..

Being in a relationship is not that great. The best thing you can do, is focus on what you can do for yourself to be a better person. Maybe the reason why no people likes you or you don't attract people naturally is because you have poor social skills, bad societal status, you are not physically attractive.. work on it. Workout, get money, work on your social skills, read self help books.. workout on yourself, and you'll feel good about yourself and you would stop comparing yourself to other people, and would also not see the things that you lack..

You're thinking all the time the things that you lack, so you attract lack. Think of abundance, self improvement. Relationships are just a plus, it doesn't make your life better. It can actually make your life worse.

Work on yourself first, heal yourself. Be a better you. Look good, dress good, think good. Set some goals for yourself. Love yourself. And by doing these things, you'll attract people, naturally.

Here is one of the many rules of love:

The more you chase it, the more it’ll run away from you. The more you focus on yourself (health and self-development), the more love will chase you.

Also, life is a numbers game. The more people you talk to, the more connections you will make.

Just talk to people about stuff you genuinely care about. Don’t try to impress anybody because people can detect that instantly and it gets awkward. Be a little selfish and just do the things you love and talk about the things you love.

Breathe, focus on yourself, and soon you’ll have what you desire most.

I 31F was going to make this long post but I’ll keep it simple loneliness is a mindset. Because relationships don’t cure loneliness just look at r/deadbedrooms I learned to date myself and love myself and I don’t hold back just because I’m not in a relationship with a man that doesn’t mean I can’t go out to Ruth Chris all dolled up. I know most marriages are BS because most men begging for my time on FB or IG are married. So I focus on my wellness I don’t online date or tru to force things I live life and if someone comes along great if someone doesn’t also great 😊

You cant stop feeling of missing out ,that just wont go and worst is not knowing what is to love and be loved back

People who say its not a big deal or just wait are the same people got attention for no reason, some people just get attention for doing nothing or no effort at all , just like the saying "it just happened".

People have a natural "vibe" some more then others , its important for meeting someone,making friends, be popular, charisma etc, you might have supressed yours at an early age for whatever reason and you kind of forgot how to upgrade it since you never kind of used it.

When something feel"forced" it doesnt work , people feel that at a subconscious level so their behaviour is to stay away from anything that feels "wierd" and "unnatural", socipaths are the exeption to this.

You need to be more natural to yourself ,dare to speak out, dare to be wrong, dare to make mistakes ,dont be afraid of being judged , you arent here to be a saint or a role model, you just want to live your life.

Sounds like you’re more in love with the DESIRE of having a relationship rather than the actual relationship itself.

Let me tell you, man. Relationships have their highs and lows. At times they’re fun… but they also feel like work, too. And that goes for healthy relationships.

It also seems like you’re stressing on this feeling of “missing out,” and that feel is driving you nuts. I’ve been in some relationships that didn’t fit right. On the surface, we looked like any other couple, but in private things weren’t working out.

Also “relationships” are not true relationships. They’re more of partnerships. Technically speaking, everyone’s in a relationship. You’re in one right now. every waking moment of your life… you’re in a relationship with yourself.

A lot of people have an issue with themselves. An issue that they wish they did not have. But that’s how life goes lol. We also have a weird tendency of seeing the negative aspects of ourselves over the good aspects.

Stop desperately wanting a relationship and instead when you start to get lonely/sad force yourself to ask "what kind of partner do I want?" And come up with a serious list of traits. Should they be funny? Share a similar sense of humor with you? Is intelligence and education important? Do you want to share hobbies or have mostly different ones?

Take a bit of time to genuinely think and create an ideal partner in your mind. Afterwards recognize you will not get that ideal partner but you can get very very close. Then, make yourself attractive to that type of person! If you want a funny partner, are you funny? If you want an educated partner, are you educated? If you're into a hobby, for example you enjoy playing sports, go join your local ultimate Frisbee coed club. Go to the places that the type of partner you want will be.

It sounds to me like you sit and watch media of couples. Stop. You're making yourself desperate for anyone to fill that lonely hole. The potential partners you may attract will sense this and know they specifically are not what you want, just anyone to not feel alone. Get up, get out, and be independent as your first goal, then have finding someone be a secondary goal.

If you're interested in working through this.... Check out my Emotional Resources

I wrote this but I don't wanna put a wall of text here. I hope they help you.

“America’s Worst Dates.” It’s hilarious and let’s you celebrate not being with a dumbass.

I wish I could like this post a thousand times. Me. Too. Every bit of it.

I relate to this very much. I'm 40 and am in my only 3rd real relationship. The two before this one didn't last longer than 1.5 years. This one is going on 2 years and we live together and is probably the love of my life. I was just telling people that one time I went to a wedding and my friend leaned over to me and said "You're the only single person here and that's why she's not throwing a bouquet." COOL THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW.

I did 100% need to do a lot of work to be comfortable being by/with myself. I needed to do a lot of work in therapy (and side note: i got sober. That's related for me but otherwise an unrelated concept) to understand my patterns around relating to other people. Basically I was completely terrified of being vulnerable with another person and could eventually see that while I thought I chose emotionally unavailable partners, that I in fact was an emotionally unavailable partner.

At a certain point I was turned off to the idea of dating altogether. Then finally when I got back to a place of genuinely wanting to be in a relationship, it was hard. Because I didn't have what I wanted. And that's hard!

I went to Tahoe to visit a friend and wanted to go hiking but she didn't want to go with me, so I decided I'd go by myself. In the past I would have skipped it then, bc I didn't want to go alone. And for a hot second I was sad that I didn't have a partner to go hiking in Tahoe with. But I decided to show up in the world alone and in love with my life, and ended up having the best day by myself and shit you not, swiped right on my now boyfriend like a week later.

I really feel for you because I was in the exact same situation for a long time. I didn’t have my first kiss until college and my first date until after college. I didn’t meet my husband until I was around 26 or 27.

I’m not gonna lie, it was rough for me for a while. I was very lonely and felt like a loser. Things looked up eventually.

It’s okay to be sad sometimes, as long as you pick yourself up at some point and focus on the hobbies/interests that make you happy. If you need to have some alone time, that’s okay too. Just don’t stop putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Maybe try giving people a chance who you wouldn’t normally hang out with! If you start withdrawing, it’s not likely that you’ll meet someone. I thought I didn’t want to be with a divorcee or a guy with kids, and I’m with a divorcée with a kid now.

And as cheesy as it sounds, therapy can really help. If you think this jealousy and sadness is getting in your way, it might be a good idea to get help.

If you get jealous while seeing others on social media..just delete it social media always screw your inner peace

Get married, then divorced and lose half of your wealth. Also pay an allowance to your ex wife after.

Without reading any other responses, I wanted to point out that a lot of what you've written is a pretty classical example of rumination. THere are some helpful pieces of information in that wiki article, and it might also be a jumping off point for you to find some options to address how you feel in your daily life. I say this as someone who came to therapy relatively late in life (at 38, and I'm 42 now). A big part of the value of therapy is just covering the basics and understanding that there's an entire vocabulary we can use to understand how we feel beyond just, you know, emotion names.

People use this phrase often "You should be comfortable with being alone first." But I doubt that many of the people who are in already in a relationship are really comfortable with being alone.

They aren't in your control. You are in your control. Finding practices that center your constructive energy on practical aspects of your life rather than the thoughts you have about what;s out of your control is a big, attainable goal. It's a neverending goal. It's also extremely personal and subjective. No one can really tell you how to do this, but it's a good idea to start with your interests and drives that have steps you can achieve more or less on your own. What are your interests? How can you develop them, or diversify them? Are there interests of yours that have room for another person? Things that you like to do with company, activities or hobbies that you like to listen to other people talk about? Those are the things that might help you address this feeling of sadness, at least as a starting point. Investing in yourself in a way that you know you're opening yourself up to meeting people who share similar interests and who want to share their love of those interests... that's the kind of socialization that serves as a really handy prompt for relationships to develop.

Edit: in case you find this helpful, before I started therapy I dived into Dr. Steven Hayes' work based on this presentation (and eventually this book) and then paced myself through this workbook. It was really, really helpful for questions like what you're asking. It's a small investment and, if you make the time to go through it, you'll get something from it. Dr. Hayes has tons of material out there on YouTube and podcasts, too, if that's more digestible as a starting point.

literally just be too busy to worry about it

if you have goals beyond a romantic relationship then you can often find yourself grateful you are single. use it to your advantage to focus on your other goals without having to worry about anyone else at all.

Hi although this thread is already 1 year plus but I can say I feel 100% how you are feeling. I also feel the same way as well. I am 43F and yes single. Half of my friends are already married with some having 3 kids. Even though many don't have a good relationship with their spouse, but at least I feel that they have gone through some life experiences. At my age, I have come to terms that I am going to be alone from now on. For you, you may still have a chance to get attached since girls are still attracted to guys in their mid/late 30s. If you don't mind knowing one more friend, we can chat online :). (this is a genuine invite and not a romantic request).

Of course since 1 year has passed maybe you have already met THE ONE, hope to hear from you contributing to this thread once more to give us an update. If so, I wish you bliss and happiness :)

Focus on what’s good about yourself and being single. Be in love with yourself first. Honestly as someone in a relationship there’s always bad sides to it... you’re idealizing it from the outside. Always wondering if I’d be better off free and alone, always compromising and taking into consideration someone else’s needs, conflict, disagreements, etc. there are food and bad about every situation. See what’s good about your life right now. And if you become happy with yourself you might end up attracting someone without even trying. Stop trying and live.

Watching this guy Hamza on YouTube really helped me! https://youtu.be/PYaixyrzDOk

He's got great advice, but he's also got great vibes and a very grounded energy that gives me a lot of hope for myself if I can learn to be more like him. He seems really happy

https://youtu.be/zmbRtUNTn5M

In my opinion, most people in your situation are either single because they have too high expectations for other people and too low expectations for themselves.

Two things that could help from my perspective.

1. Decide if you are desperate or not. If you are attend events specifically for dating or co ed singles. Like speed dating. If not accept that it's going to take some time to find the "right" person.

2. Figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to the opposite sex. If you have more weaknesses than strengths work 9n yourself and changing that till it's the other way around.

Some of us are meant to spend extra time working on ourselves, to find our “great purpose” or “greater path”. At least that’s what I was told about my life path, that I won’t reach real happiness until around age 42 (Sources: 2 psychics and The Pattern). Swear I’m not a kook, but 3 times by 3 different sources? In the least, it makes me feel better about where I’m at lol.

The Pattern tho, is an app that’s helped me gain such a optimistic outlook on issues involving “timing” that occur in my life.

I know this sounds weird, but man, just download it and check out some of the info in your personal “timing” and “pattern” sections. I guarantee something will hook you and you’re gonna dive right into some clarity. Some of the things will leave you asking “wait, how in the fuck?” The research and science behind it is incredible and is just that, science. I don’t care who you are or what you believe, the insight in the information it gives you, will alter your mindset, will change your perspective and will help you better understand yourself and what the universe potentially has in mind for you.

It has also helped me understand others and my relationships more than I ever could’ve on my own. It’s a beautiful fkg creation that every person could benefit from.

Go to the gym, work on yourself..

Talk to 100 women, get shot down by 100, talk to a hundred more women, get turned down by 99, the one is your future wife.

Treat her good and hopefully she not crazy and treats you good

Your post has a lot of “woe is me” energy. Other people can sense that victim mentality and most people don’t want to date it. There’s a reason you’re single, you’re right, and you’re feeling so sorry for yourself that you don’t see that that’s the problem. You’re only looking for what you want to see. Many people find their life partner later in life, sometimes after divorce. Many people regret children or have no sense of identity after having a family and are miserable. You can want those things but even if you get them you won’t be happy because you’re not being realistic on what they’re like or what you have to do to achieve them. No magical “love partner” is going to complete your life and what a burden that would be for another person to try.

I won't repeat what others have too much. But I feel for you.

It's normal to feel bad, not having a partner when you want one is one of the worst feelings in the world because it you have to ask yourself a question that is highly uncomfortable. Is it situational / environmental that can be fixed or is it part of a bigger problem where you are inadequate as a man.

To be perceived as attractive, you need to do attractive things. You can't change your genetics but you can at least get in shape. Being nice isn't attractive. Women don't sleep with you because your nice, it's a disqualifier.

Don't run from this feeling, use it to motivate you. It's your body telling you something is wrong.

Get into the red pill