This is why I avoid touching anything in public restrooms. I literally use legs to open doors.
This is why I avoid touching anything in public restrooms. I literally use legs to open doors.
I use my psychic power
I use my trex claw/mouth
I do that and once I kicked the door too hard with someone on the other side…oops
I mean, I've given up and just use paper now when I'm at home. Less mess, more effective, and it's literally right there.
…until the paper sticks and you have to spend a whole minute and a half trying to get a single layer of toilet paper off of your thing
You’re not a professional toilet paper user, are you?
If you do it delicately, it can be done without it sticking to your bellend.
Current stats:
99 aim
34 paper-er
79 speed
85 attack
69 defense
Not a pro paper player, but I’m learning.
But what’s your fletching level?
Idk, at least three.
Why fletch?
Amateur... I have hired a professional toilet paper user to do it for me. Have some class for crying out loud.
Just use a belt sander. You take of more tissue than you put on but its fast
Ideally you touch it enough so that the TP sucks up any leftover, results vary with TP quality. Personally I prefer to slap my dick on the walls after I do the helicopter.
What kind of .25 ply toilet paper are you using that it sticks all over your junk? Do you piss out glue?
Ay man I was referring to shitty places like restaurants and public toilets where the toilet paper is about as thick as a single proton.
Oh my bad. You're spot on about that then.
Why thank you!
Just put it in your mouth and clean it like every normal person
Great advice, will try! Thanks!
I can say with 100% certainty that I have never had toilet paper get stuck to my dick while I was using it to get that last bit of pee.
I completely and utterly trust you and I will ask no further questions.
Why would it stick? Are you cumming your pants and not cleaning yourself afterwards? Pee doesn't stick your penis to toilet paper
Sounds like you buy your toilet paper from dollar tree
username checks out
Shaking your pee never gets all the pee out and it's about time every guy stops acting like it does.
You need to at the very least, grab the base and drain the rest out, tp the tip for good measure.
It will keep your junk from smelling as quickly, trust.
This is the way.
Nah man you gotta bend over and vacuum that stuff out
im a dude and doing the jiggle first and then i continue with paper. you know human genitals are pretty similar btw.
You all don't have pee bibs? 🤣
This gave me my first rollicking belly laugh in awhile. Well done
I use a bit of paper anyway.
I just put it back in is that weird
You don't even notice the smell when you piss anymore, do you?
Shaking your pee never gets all the pee out and it's about time every guy stops acting like it does.You need to at the very least, grab the base and drain the rest out, tp the tip for good measure.It will keep your junk from smelling as quickly, trust.
The smell goes away when you eat better?
No it never does. Yes some foods make your urine smell worse, but generally, it will always smell. You can dilute it by staying well hydrated, but if you don't clean yourself after peeing, you will always stink of piss. And since our senses start ignoring things that are constant, people who stink are rarely aware of it.
Same with people who think toilet paper is enough after they take a shit. They smell of shit, everybody around them can smell the shit, nobody wants to be around them, but they don't know they smell of shit, because they got used to the smell.
I get the whole point of remembrance, and your body nullifying the smell after a while.
When you're talking about smelling shit, I think you're talking about people who don't wipe well. Ever had a shit where it just plops out, and when you wipe, there is nothing there on the TP? I'm thinking not... Eating healthier is the way forward.
It’s insane to me that people think that any residual pee that might be on the tip of my dick will make my whole body smell. I’m not pissing my pants, I’m putting my dick away. I also shower everyday. Wtf kid of pee do you have that allows someone to smell less than a drop of it without shoving their face up to your crotch?
Your whole body doesn't need to smell like piss for people to smell the few drops of piss in your pants. Just because you don't notice it anymore, doesn't mean you don't stink.
And then I still drip a little pee as soon as I step away.
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Reee
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I just ring it out I remember a streamer saying it really well something about when you put the water hose away there is still water inside gotta squeeze it out and shake
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I remember how hard I laughed the first time I saw this joke years ago. Good times.
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Wait, someone besides u/six_rabbit posts here?
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totally unexpected laugh I got from randomly seeing this post and yes it's accurate 😂 Thank you
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Amazing post dude!
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so in short. we use Centrifugal force to clean ourselves?
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No. The ones who aren’t cretins use paper…
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Why would you use paper in the bathroom? Why not just use toilet paper like everyone else?
Use paper you gross fucks. 🤢
There isn't paper at urinals
For a piss, really? Where and when do people actually do this? At work I usually per in urinals, not sure I'm expected to then what, waddle into a cubicle with my wang still out to get some paper? Use the handdryer? Reddit kids are just weird sometimes idk
Im surprised how everyone here seem to be doing this. Disgusting fucking people.
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I mean I use toilet paper after peeing… not sure how common it is
Dunno about "real statistics" but my group of friends consist of 12 guys from different countries(Argentina,Chile,Paraguay, Perú and México) and none of us use paper after peeing. I know because it came up while doing some college assignment.
Maybe its cultural? I only have a very limited sample, limited to only to 5 countries from Latam.
From the US, never really heard of this except on reddit. Granted, the majority population here is circumcised, so maybe drips are more of an issue for majority uncircumcised countries? Idk. I see the sense in it hygienically, but it sounds impractical in public restrooms, unless they have TP at the urinals? Assuming one stays hydrated, we're talking what, potentially 5 drips of dilute pee in your underwear per day. Realistically, while gross to think about, I don't see that causing a smell or hygiene issue. Always rinse up before oral activities regardless.
Interesting, I wonder if there are any larger surveys or studies on this.
I've never even heard this being a thing outside Reddit. I've been out drinking a couple of times a week on average for almost 20 years, so have probably stood next to 10s of thousands of different people at urinals, and I can safely say I've never noticed anyone go into a cubicle for a safety wipe, and I'm fairly certain it's not something my friends would do. (Based in the UK)
I'm white usa and I don't use tp fuck all that noise
That still don't clean tho, you have to wipe. That's disgusting. You gonna get pee all in your pants.
Pretty much for the guys lol
So true
This is 100% true
Not this hard bro....
No matter how you shake and dance the last drop goes in your pants
And even then the pee isn’t all gone yet
Dot
2017 alt right trash dove vibes.
Wash your hands
that's what i call the dick slang
When you get old this method doesn't cut it as well as it did in the spring of youth, if you are going to sit down after peeing you'll probably need to catch a bit of dribble with paper so you don't get your briefs. Facts of growing old.
Press on your taint and all the leftover pee comes out.
“If you shake it more than 3 times you’re playing with it.”
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Don’t know if this weird for a guy or anything but I wrap my cock in a sheet of paper towel so that it doesn’t touch my underwear, and whenever I got out I can use said paper towel sheet to wipe some pee off my cock
lé POWER STANCE
Boys have plumbing, girls have leaks, that's why girls wipe.
I wash my dick on the sink, just a lil rinse.
I do love a good head pounding against the toilet seat.
the jiggle method remains superior
You guys do that I just pull up my pants and let it drain
You guys are dumb, lmaoo
Actually I do use A4 paper after I pee
Whats the reason, after men peeing, the last drop has to go inside the underwear?
dude not on the FLOOR!
You shake it over twice…your playing with it!
Or use water…
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wow
Dude I laughed for like 10 minutes, take an award you son of a bitch
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I'm sitting in a library crying at the beauty of this
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True story
What bro ? Y'all don't pinch?
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I clean via teeth
0:20
Shake it once, thats fine
Shake it twice, thats okay though
But Shake it three times? You're playing with yourself.
😭😂😂😂
I thought the video was good, visual joke and all.
But the last 10 seconds really slams the joke home. Worth the full watch for the stripper routine moves.
the slamming part at the end really made me spit food all over the table.
How the heck is this sub growing so fast? It’s 2 months old, only has a limited number of posters, yet has 100k subscribers.
The power of Christ compels you
Quality content!
What is this sub even about? I can't quite tell.
You fucker. Take my fucking award for this genius comment.