McStabby

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This is a $20 knife, basically the opposite of quality craftsmanship.

https://www.militaryworldsrl.com/en/italian-stiletto-automatic-knife-il-padrino-handle-in-steel-and-black-polymer-cm.-24/

Also, there really isn't much in the way of craftsmanship when it comes to sticking something on a laser etching machine either.

Edit: It seems this sub doesn't give a fuck about it's very first rule.

Big. Mac.

Street. Rat.

I don't buy that, I only buy McChickens!

I may be a poor boy, yes siree.. They'll find out... Give me the money, pleeeeeaase

still i think mcdonald's RATHER TASTY!

Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat

Me n hamburglar get along!

McStabby, come with me, let’s commit murder

We’ve become a one man rise in crime

I'd blame Fry Kids except he hasn't got em

Gotta Steal to Eat, Gotta eat to live. Supersize that combo, Son!

Time to commit mcmurder

Not if I have a say.

mcdonalds themed instrumental break accompanied by video montage of ronald, grimace, and mayor mccheese chasing the hamburglar across hot coals and sword swallower

sounds like...

Start at 2:40

Still I think he’s rather Dickens

(They said whiiile their sto-mach thick-ens)

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

He doesn't buy that. Subtle reference to being a stabby little bread thief.

RIP HIM OPEN, FINGER-LICKIN’

2 for 2 dollars and a large drink for a dollar. Really can’t beat it and it’s delicious every time. McDonalds really doing their best to keep poor people fat. Murica baby!!

I didnt buy mine i got my Mc stabey in my kids mael duh

Scoundrel
Get stabbed

Juuust a liiittle Mac, guys!

Put some salt on both of those fries

If you put it as French fries it matches the song.

Rip him open! Take it back, guys!

Yo patty, where the fries at?

WHITE. WHALE.

HOLY. GRAIL.

No? Is that not what we're doing?

Green Moose

Guava Juice

Giant snake.

Birthday cake.

Large fries

Chocolate shake

Oddparents. Fairly Oddparents.

It flips your lid when you're a kid with Fairly Oddparents.

Large fries.

Chocolate shake.

Blue Ladybug.

Chicken Nug.

Unexpected Mastodon.

Best concept record.

That’s just your opinion, man.

It's uh, Primus actually. Restin' Bones

Had to do a double take when I saw this isn't r/metalmemes

I saw them play this live in Boston a while back it was fucking incredible.

Blood and Thunder is what we're doing now

Scoundrel. Take that!

A man’s gotta eat.

To defeat.

The Huns!

This is funnier than it deserves to be

I laugh at half of comments half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of comments half as well as they deserve.

Ok Ronald Mac Donald

I don’t buy that, 🎵 stabs you for a small friiiiies!

Just a little snack, guys *wipes blood off blade

The Hamburgler is gonna leave Ronald with a “Grimace” when he sees that blade.

I need a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuce

Ratatat brings me back.

Really wish I could upvote twice

Just a little snack. Fries.

And now I'll be singing that to myself my entire life.

Scoundrel. Take that!

Otherwise we’d get along!

Didn’t know Aladdin liked McDonald’s

Oh its sad Aladdins hit the bottom. Now he's working fast food all the time.

Working fast food would not be his low point.

Literally this post's quote is of him justifying stealing a loaf of bread to a bunch of people trying to murder him.

Just playing around...really ain't that deep.

People on this site get asshurt about the stupidest shit.

Clearly, I'm the one of us who's upset.

I’d blame parents ‘cept he hasn’t got ‘em!

I fucking love this so much.

Username checks out.

If only I could spell.

It's the definition of this sub

Thats the distinction between camp and kitsch.

Yeah that's a good point

Can't agree with this. It's great taste

I feel like it's intentionally in bad taste, which makes it great taste, but it was still designed as bad taste, which it succeeded at marvelously, which makes it great execution, but that means it's great taste when it was supposed to be bad taste, so that makes it bad execution, but.

Head pops

I think it’s the definition of the other sub.

It’s the Hamburgler, and he literally stole from mods to survive.

Would you rather it was like a marvel cartoon?

Robble robble motherfucker

Fr, someone link me lol

He's not selling it unfortunately. Trust me. With my username, I checked.

I was hoping a fork would come out instead of a blade lol

Same! Would have made this GTAGE

Oh, didn't even see what subreddit I was on. Cheers mate

If this blended in with your front page please tell me what other subreddits you follow

r/catastrophicfailure

r/maliciouscompliance

r/baseball

r/dataisbeautiful

r/oddlysatisfying

r/mapporn

r/shockwaveporn

r/makemesuffer

r/CFB

These are all on my front page with this post

Such a weird sub! Only one post every couple months but every one of thos has thousands of upvotes and the sub itself has 300k members

Grand Theft Auto something something? Never thought they’d do a second one…

I was thinking a little spatula

The Spongebob Special Switchblade

This is what I was praying for

A non cardboard drinking straw

Or the little plastic spoon stirrers they used to have.

A mcdonald's breakfast spork, please.

Do you eat with a fork in McDonalds?

No. I use the drive-thru

A fork? I've never heard of a switch fork

I have a switchblade spork and it's probably the best gift I've ever received

That is great. I'm considering making a double action OTF fork.

Where did you get it? Link?

i really want the knife now

I would like that knife

If only switchblades were legal in my state... but I'm able to get a rifle shipped directly to my door.

Can I interest you in a novelty switchblade comb instead? 11 year old me definitely didn't buy one of those like an idiot.

we're you even living life If you didn't have one

I had one and never combed my hair.

i had one and sometimes combed my hair with it for the novelty. hair would always get stuck between the plastic comb and the metal arm that holds the comb and get ripped out of my head.

That's why switchblade combs are illegal in 22 states.

not in the desert states though, because how else would law enforcement comb the desert when looking for a fugitive.

Man, we ain't found shit.

My hair has been 3/8" since I was in elementary school. I still had a switchblade comb, since my grandparents loved me.

I had one and I’m black

i never had one but i do carry a real switchblade. its much better

One hair-hair junction at a time

dont need a comb iffu never comb your hair

My son is 8 years old and is obsessed with the one he won from our local arcade.

It's a shame the phrase "boys will be boys" has been bastardised because this seems like the type of thing it was originally used to describe.

? that's just what it means

Shit. I’d buy one now at 38, but I’ve been bald for a decade.

Then he can menacingly comb it with the novelty switchblade.

MicroTech Marfione UTX-85. The adult version.

High school me definitely didn't buy one and casually whip it out to get reactions from friends.

I’m bald and I still have one of those combs.

Switchblades are illegal where I live, but that didn't stop me from buying one on a reservation in Oklahoma when I passed through.

The trick is, don't tell the cops you own a switchblade.

I feel like thats the trick with most illegal things, dont tell people.

Lawmakers hate this one simple trick!!!

The NSA has joined the chat

i murdered someone last year

... oh dont tell people

But I want to Facebook Live my crime!!!!!

I’ve had great luck buying and possessing illegal things, by following the same trick. When you see a cop don’t start shaking and acting suspicious like you have something to hide or they’ll approach you. If they do approach you, don’t start the conversation with an immediate outburst of “the switchblade is at home Im too scared to carry it because it’s illegal.”

I find it's a lot easier to avoid interactions with the police by being white and not looking suspicious whatsoever.

For real, I drove with a suspended license for almost 2 years. I fully understand that aspect of my white privilege.

I also drove unaccosted, unregistered and unlicensed, just by deciding to be white for a few years.

Fuck I wish they told me about white privilege sooner, I would have never registered vehicles.

http://weaponlaws.wikidot.com/us-switchblade-laws

Legal in Mass if blade < 1.5". Now I want a really tiny switchblade.

Some states knife laws are also like you can own it but you can’t carry it. So you could collect this knife at home but you can’t be carrying it around.

God. Damn. It.

Out of the 9 (or was it 11? I hate numbers!) states they're illegal in, of course my state they're illegal in.

Loved my switchblade comb as a kid.

And balisongs are considered to be the same thing. Fuckin jerks.

Jokes on you, I'm the cops and I know what you've done

No you're not but I am

u/cop_undercover this guy right here

Automatic knives have been legal in broader Oklahoma for a while now. Much longer than the tribal lands have had re-recognized reservation status. There was nothing unique about where you purchased it that allowed additional legality of it.

You may want to check the laws, turns out switchblades are a lot more legal than most people think they are.

In my state you can concealed carry a handgun without a license or permit but if you have a switchblade, it can be 5 years in prison.

You can carry one in Illinois if you have a FOID card. Rules may be different in Chicago though, but downstate all you need is a FOID.

Why…. Why are they illegal compared to… a butcher or pocket knife.

It's dumb, but it's the "concealed" aspect. Like how you can keep your gun in a holster, but need a different license to carry it concealed in your purse.

I think you do. I am Canadian so really shouldn't be pretending to know or understand anything about rules surrounding arms in the US.

Switchblades are illegal here across the board.

What is concealed about a switchblade, more so than a pocket knife

Here in canada the difference is the spring mechanism. The concealed blade being revealed by gravity, centrifugal force, or a button that activates a spring all qualify as illegal weapons while a switch army knife does not. Those ones where you push the metal guard to the side and have to pull up the blade are acceptable as well in certain regions.

Maybe it's because it takes a moment to open a pocket knife? I am honeslty not sure about the distinction. It's a great question.

Thats gotta be it, but whats the difference of a moment? Maybe if the switchblade pushes open instead of swing open, I can see as a danger since you can’t see the metal of the knife if someone comes on you unexpected.

But, to be fair, most knives people have learned to conceal and open quickly with sinister intentions.

Another user said it's about them opening one handed vs two handed. That makes sense to me.

I don't know if that's also the difference in Canada, but at least in Germany the important difference between a legal and an illegal knife is the possibility to open it with one hand.

So if you need a second hand to access the blade, they might be legal. If you can access the blade with one hand, they are definitely illegal.

As for knives with a fixed blade (e.g. kitchen knife): I believe there is a lenght limit for the blade, but I'm not completely certain.

I said "might be legal" because for knives that you need two hands for to access the blade, there is still a lenght limit for the blade.

Edit: the reason is: a one-handed knife can be hidden more easily, and the other person can be surprised by it and have no time to react. However, if a person starts fidgeting with both hands to open a knife, that's a lot more noticable, and you can react.

This makes alot of sense. Thanks for the info, it tracks with the laws here too.

In certain big cities they were once real popular amoungst street gangs. As they were not widely carried otherwise, they became a handy way for the cops to add extra time to sentences.

If you were Joe schmoe carrying one you'd likley never be searched. A member of the local Ruerto Rican "youth organization" and you'd be searched every time a cop got the chance.

So fun fact, this method of legislating (making common items held by criminals add suspicion/time/severity of crime) only makes the larger societal situation worse, and why we have a lot of the additional problems we have today.

For example: widespread bloodborne infections like Hep-C and HIV amongst intravenous drug users?

Syringes were classified as drug paraphernalia and started adding time to a drug charge, so frequent drug users started sharing needles.

STI infection rates amongst prostitutes and their clients?

Having 5 or more condoms on your person was ruled enough for cops to arrest you on suspicion of solicitation, so prostitutes and their clients just stopped carrying them.

Of course, if a brown kid is a diabetic and just bought a pack of syringes, they could (and did/do) absolutely get arrested on a life-altering drug charge.

Likewise, a smart, responsible gal walking home from the club who keeps a small box of condoms in her purse could get stopped and arrested on suspicion of being a prostitute.

These laws are going to vary by jurisdiction, of course, but it's always important to be aware of what laws have been passed in order to facilitate tack-on charges or make arresting people easier.

i feel like over 50% of switchblade injuries are on the user

Just like guns lmao.

Not to diminish gun regulation and licensing, just that a fuck ton of people accidentally shoot themselves.

It's worse than that. 2/3 of gun related deaths in the US are suicides. (At least that's the numbers the last time I checked)

Also handguns are the most common gun used in crimes (which makes sense, easier to handle and conceal). The AR-15 and other rifles? They do not make up the majority by a long shot.

Because 1950s greaser fearmongering nonsense

The same reason crack has harsher sentences than cocaine: racism.

Wow no shit? I’ve got an auto I never wear just in case a cop wants to hassle me.

Yeah, check up on the law though. It may have changed in the couple years since I looked it up.

I always remember people saying they were illegal across the board. But in the US the laws are a lot more lax than I realized. In my state there are relatively few restrictions, so I could totally own and carry a switchblade. But it does vary state to state, so yeah, check your laws before going out and buying them.

Also I'm not aware of the laws in Canada and Europe, or other countries, but I think they might actually be a bit more strict and have a ban in most places.

I checked for VA a few years ago and they were sadly illegal, unless it's changed since then

They're legal everywhere. It's against the 2nd to ban them. The laws that ban switchblades, stilletos, brass knuckles, etc, have been on the books for decades and when they get challenged they get overturned.

The fact that they are illegal is absurd. They say that they are too dangerous because they can be quickly accessed in a fight. Maybe they haven't heard of fixed blade knives, aka regular knives, that don't fold at all...

There are also assist open knives which work on the exact same principle, but use a lever instead of a button

Yes, I got a really nice Benchmade for a good price and it opens as fast as a switch blade easily just does not use a button. A slight push on it and it pops open.

I never hand this knife to people if they need one closed. Easy way for someone to get hurt not knowing how hard its going to open.

It was mostly a racist thing as they were associated with various "dangerous" minority groups. Basically the same reason a lot of schools ban durags.

It was never rational, it was reactionary anti gang/war of crime lunacy. It's the same people that made the laws that got us the highest prison population in the world.

The banned Four Loko because they said a fruity flavored alcoholic beverage twice as strong as beer was too appealing to kids. But they didn't ban wine, which is also a fruity flavored alcoholic beverage twice as strong as beer.

That wasn’t the real reason. Parents were concerned about that for sure, but Four Loko had to change their formula because it was an energy drink with alcohol.

Lots of people were getting alcohol poisoning because you could just hammer those things down and go all night without fully feeling the effects of the alcohol. It was essentially a 24 ounce Redbull and four beers combined into one big can, so teenagers and college students would drink three or four of them in an hour and a half and end up in the hospital. Just an insane thing to have on the shelf.

Nowadays it’s just as disgustingly fruity and just as strong, but there’s no caffeine, ginseng, or guarana in it, so it’s good to go.

That’s my argument

You don't need a sheath to keep a switchblade from slicing you up while you're carrying it around, plus it's half the size.

You can buy fixed blade knives of all sizes though. Plenty of them are as small or smaller than a switchblade even with the sheath. Plus then you also have assisted opening knives which are just as quick for the same size. They were banned for the same dumb reasons that many guns were banned, because they "look scary".

Things should be banned because of a measurable risk, not because of optics. If a switchblade is illegal to carry then so should all knives. Or more reasonably no knives should be banned.

They banned these knives because they’re so awesome that they caused more people to carry knives. People carried these who had no knife training or any business carrying or handling a knife. They only carried them because they were cool as shit.

This isn’t ideal because random one off physical altercations can turn into deadly encounters when one irrational angry guy whips out his knife, the same knife he’s only carrying in the first place because he thought it was neat.

These knives were just too cool. Too many idiots had them and were whipping them out. I’m glad I don’t see them much anymore, but I agree, it definitely is nanny government bullshit to make them illegal, especially with that nonsensical reasoning.

Switch blades aren't legal in my state either, but they still ship them right to my door. The internet sure is wonderful.

my favorite "what the fuck why is this illegal/legal" is living in a state where you can own basically any gun ever made but suppressors are fucking illegal.

like the ONE gun attachment that you would think everyone would support and be for, illegal. but sure go buy 50 AR-15s, buy AK variants. here's a glock with a 30 rd mag, cool. but no suppressors.

so fucking stupid.

It's the same principle, I agree. An irrational fear of it. Suppressors are even more utilitarian because it reduces sound pollution and helps protect hearing.

Assisted open knives are basically switchblades and are legal across the US. Check out Kershaw knives. Made in Oregon, lifetime warranty, under $100 (options under $50, but those tend to be made overseas).

Where can you get non-bp, non CR rifles shipped to your door? Are you not in the US?

I am in the US, and it was an M1 Garand came from the CMP

Which is a C&R rifle that requires you to have been investigated and cleared by the federal government or to have a collectors FFL certificate in order for it to be shipped to you directly. Which also grants the federal government a blanket warrant to search your house whenever they choose.

Edit: Adding the link here since some people may not be aware that the CMP operates as an FFL and sends your information to the NICS as part of the process.

https://thecmp.org/cmp_sales/eligibility-requirements/

Second edit: adding the ATF details as well

https://www.atf.gov/firearms/federal-firearms-licensee-quick-reference-and-best-practices-guide

The ATF absolutely has the legal right to search your premises once you obtain an FFL03 as a collector.

Can’t believe I need to add a third edit but here it is:

It appears that many FFL03 certificate holders are just now realizing they signed away their 4th amendment rights and aren’t happy about it.

Here is the text of the actual judicial code

The Attorney General may inspect the inventory and records of a licensed collector without such reasonable cause or warrant- (i) for ensuring compliance with the record keeping requirements of this chapter not more than once during any twelve-month period; or (ii) when such inspection or examination may be required for determining the disposition of one or more particular firearms in the course of a bona fide criminal investigation.

Applicable Laws and Regulations: 18 U.S.C. § 923; 27 CFR § 478.23, 479.22

Well shit, if they already have the blanket warrant, at least grant me the ability to buy a fuckin' knife that opens with a button rather than the assisted open knives that use a lever instead.

You’ll poke your eye out.

Sorry, to clarify I mean that if you have an FFL03 they can search your home at will.

If you just purchased through the CMP and they operated as the FFL you still have your fourth amendment rights. Well at least you are supposed to in theory.

If the CMP didn’t make it clear when you made the purchase they submitted all your information through the NICS and completed a 4473 on your behalf. Which means the FBI and ATF are aware of that Garand and it was tracked all the way to your doorstep.

C&R licenses don't give the government carte blanche to search your house whenever they want, that's only for certain other FFL types during your "hours of operation". With a C&R they have to contact you in advance, and you have the option of taking your FFL logbook to an ATF office instead of having them come to you.

Under the current law and conditions they are able to perform a home visit unannounced. If they determine that your log book “does not meet with expectations” it is legal to search your home.

You are also required to fill out hours of activity for an 03 FFL and those are considered hours that you will be home to provide any requested documentation and have pre-consented to a search should the visiting agent find “any conflicting information”. In other words, it’s up to the governments discretion and you have no legal recourse to prevent the search.

Only difference with an FFL03 in this context is that it does not require a initial search of the premises prior to the certificate being issued. That doesn’t exclude you from the other obligations.

Home visits, sure. Law enforcement agencies can knock on anyone's front door even if they don't have an FFL, but they can't come inside and search your stuff unless you give them permission. It's Fudd-lore that getting a C&R FFL requires you to give up your 4th amendment rights.

For a C&R FFL-holder, your only obligation is to get back to them and make an appointment for an inspection, and you have the option of doing it at the ATF's nearest office.

The law allowing them to do warrantless searches only includes the "businessy" FFL types

Any ATF officer, without having reasonable cause to believe a violation of the Act has occurred or that evidence of the violation may be found and without demonstrating such cause before a Federal magistrate or obtaining from the magistrate a warrant authorizing entry, may enter during business hours the premises, including places of storage, of any licensed manufacturer, licensed importer, or licensed dealer for the purpose of inspecting or examining the records, documents, ammunition and firearms referred to in paragraph (a) of this section

The law for "collector" FFL-holders is a lot more relaxed

At the election of the licensed collector, the annual inspection permitted by this paragraph shall be performed at the ATF office responsible for conducting such inspection in closest proximity to the collectors premises.

That's why the ATF barely bothers inspecting FFL-03s.If you look at the stats for 2020, of the thousands of FFL inspections they did, only 3 were for FFL-03s

Just because it is rare doesn’t change the law. The address you put down on your application is subject to inspection at the sole discretion of the ATF.

You completely cut off part of the statement from the ATF forms. This is the complete language

ATF may enter the premises and places of storage of any licensed manufacturer, licensed importer, licensed dealer, or licensed collector during business hours for the purposes of inspecting or examining the records, documents, ammunition and firearms and to ensure compliance with GCA recordkeeping requirements.

Notice the word collectors

Business hours are defined as “hours of activity” on the certificate paperwork which means for a home collector, hours that you are expected to be available.

“Your records and premises will be subject to inspection by ATF officers.”

https://www.atf.gov/firearms/federal-firearms-licensee-quick-reference-and-best-practices-guide

The annual inspections you are referring to fall under the same purview as pre-inspections which are not required for an 03 but once again do not exclude you from a targeted investigation without a search warrant requirement.

Yet again womens pants that lack pockets

https://www.atf.gov/firearms/federal-firearms-licensee-quick-reference-and-best-practices-guide

I ripped off the link for the ATF page by providing the full text from the site? What are you talking about? Did you even go to the link?

Here is the text from the actual judicial code

Applicable Laws and Regulations: 18 U.S.C. § 923; 27 CFR § 478.23, 479.22

In other words, exactly what I said. All they have to say is “Hmm, I don’t believe your book is accurate. We are coming in” and you have no legal recourse.

Read the sources I have provided. There is a clause for inspection of the physical firearms and the premises.

The actual FFL paperwork uses the terminology “place of activity” side by side with place of business. It includes collectors side by side with businesses and importers when discussing the right for inspection of premises and firearms.

My god, just read the law I already linked.

CMP operates differently than everything else. It isn’t C&R.

CMP requires an FFL to process the transfer/does so internally if you aren’t an FFL03 holder.

The only type of firearm that can be sent directly to a person without a 4473 being involved are antiques which generally means pre 1898 with minor exceptions for specific design features. Anything the CMP sells does not meet the requirements for an antique and therefore there is no possible way someone legally had a Garand, Carbine, or 1911 shipped directly to them without the federal government being aware of that transfer and having performed a background check.

Not true, 1911’s might be different but unless you’re one of the states that mandates FFL, you meet the requirements and it shows up at your door. C&R is not one of the requirements

In those cases CMP is operating as the FFL. The forms you submit authorize them to send your information to the NICS.

https://thecmp.org/cmp_sales/eligibility-requirements/

It's a C&R rifle, but you don't need a C&R FFL to get it shipped to your door, necessarily. I ordered one and I don't have an FFL.

CMP is different.

In certain states CMP is authorized to operate as the FFL for the transfer but you are still required to submit all the forms. It really isn’t as simple as just having it shipped to your door.

https://thecmp.org/cmp_sales/eligibility-requirements/

Rgr. CMP is so rare on reddit (outside of the obvious subs), I didnt think you were referring to it :). I still need to join the org and get my own, they just didnt have any good grades last time I checked (Sept 21). I've got my C&R, which I figured was more common.

If you want to pick something up you can submit an order form in advance. At least you used to be able to, I would double check with them as shipments are becoming rarer. I believe they only do this for some grades of Garand now but it’s worth checking out if you are serious about getting one. Once word gets out a new shipment is being processed they go quick, especially for anything rare. When they got an order of 1911s in a couple years ago they were gone in a few days. The order form will sit on a shelf in the order it was received and you will get a call once it is being processed.

I just checked for you and you ain't getting one for under $1,000 currently (expert grade). I received a field grade M1 Garand for $650 and I'm very satisfied with it, all I had to do was break it down and clean the wood since it was very dirty.

I would very highly recommend bookmarking their website and checking once or twice a month, they prepare more for shipment pretty frequently.

The only thing I can think of is CMP rifles. 🤷‍♂️

Don’t ruin the circlejerk.

Like from a private seller? Where do you live that you can do that without an FFL?

It came from the CMP

Ah, gotcha. Not all that crazy, given the amount of verification you need to complete first.

McStabby

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