I've come to make an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quill-y dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was THIS BIG and I said "That's disgusting." so I'm making a call-out post on my Twitter dot com. Shadow the Hedgehog you got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth! That's right, this is what you get! My super laser piss! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on THE MOON! How do you like that Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have 23 hours until the piss droplets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking site before I piss on you too

Before I watch this whole thing, can you just explain wtf it is?? Like it's just funny dudes dubbing the ENTIRE movie lol??

It's all the cutscenes from the infamously bad game Sonic 06, but dubbed over in one take. Most of the actors had never played the game or seen the footage before so the plot quickly goes off the rails

Is it all ad-libbed or are they reading quotes or something? It's pretty hilarious.

It’s ad-libbed lol

That sounds like a blast

Almost, people dubbing over the cutscenes from the game Sonic 06

I haven't seen anyone say it, but for reference the wall of text that dude posted is from the same people but it's from their dub of Sonic Adventure 2.

Why does this look so much like final fantasy to me?

Every single video on her channel is gold tbh

My dudes that's a feature length film tf.

Oh I was hoping it was real-time fan dub, all of their sonic shit is grade A.

It's not as pleasant as you think. They don't treat you like a friend, they treat you like an item.

The voices are so good holy fuck

YOU ARE A BETA MALE SONIC

ILL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS

The great philosopher Jordan Peterson hath spoken his wise words and dispensed his knowledge to his people. His tenets such as clean your room and don’t jerk off so much has guided many to become sigma

sigma deez nuts lmao gottem

This comment gave me bofa

Oh no, I'm so sorry! What's the prognosis?

Good God, when he said "Petersonian" I just assumed he was referencing some obscure philosopher to sound intellectual. This is much worse.

I mean in the Petersonianest sense, he was referencing some obscure philosopher to sound intellectual.

Just...his biggest philosophical tenet is that of the rock lobster.

Hey don't forget that he spent 10 years of his life writing a bunch of platitudes and gibberish to collect into maps of meaning.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOHUwwP6LLs
I always wonder who hurt you in what way that makes you say this shit.
Oh yeah, Peterson totally sounds like he's an airhead full of platitudes and gibberish! You're a very wise man to see through his stick!

Fuck, dude, I had the same thought.

I think that effect is very much intentional

My favorite: sociological institutions created by people are the same as those created by lobsters.

who the hell is steve jobs

L̷̙͒͊Ī̴̩͚̌͛͝G̶͇̏M̵̖̹̲̃́̅͐̽A̴̳̗̙̒͠ ̷̧̛͈̓̅B̶̖͈͈̱̉̀̓́À̶̡͕̹͜Ļ̶͓̤̉Ľ̶̼̼͈͇̳͑S̸̫͓̥̿

Have you tried cleaning your room?

He is a really good psychologist and clinician, so he knows what habits are good to kick in order to set a precedence for living slightly better, but this feels more like people are deifying the man. I understand that many people grew up without dads and are in a way, imagining this man as their own father instead.

I dunno. These comments criticizing Jordan Peterson don't really seem that thought out either.

Sex addiction is a real thing, habitual masturbation with no interest in nurturing real relationships is bad. Trying to get your life back on track becomes a lot easier if you also keep a neat home due to you not being able to relax when you come home to a mess that you've been intentionally avoiding.

There are worse people to take advice from, let's just say that.

Actually, before he was ever famous he was called on as an expert witness in a murder trial and the judge basically called him out for presenting shit evidence and ruled it inadmissible.

At one point he tried to present as evidence some “Unfakeable Big Five” personality test he used to shill to companies for hiring employees. His argument was that the tests showed his client was highly agreeable and therefore susceptible to being manipulated during questioning, to try to argue that he gave a false confession.

Problem is he presented no evidence that his tests had actually been scientifically, ya know, tested.

He also tried to argue that his client was unlikely to forget killing his friend, but the judge pointed out that when asked, his client didn't recall not killing his friend either, and by the same testimony he would be unlikely to forget not murdering someone and that an innocent man would be expected to say that they remember not murdering someone.

The case is R. v. Pearce (M.L.), 2014 MBCA 70 (CanLII), court documents here.

He also tried his hand at being an expert witness in family court proceedings, in a case affecting child custody, and the judge called him out there too.

He presented the court with three reports. Here's what the judge had to say about the last two:

I will deal next with Dr. Peterson’s report entitled “Multiple rater response to play assessment description From Kawartha Family Court Assessment Service Report”. It is dated May 4, 2009. This is perhaps the most interesting of all of the reports that counsel for the respondent wishes the court to consider. It comes as close to “junk science” as anything that I have ever been asked to consider...

...I go next to the report entitled “Report 1: General Comments on the role of the Father in Child Development Specific Comments on the role of Cameron Sordi as Father to his Children”. That title is somewhat misleading in that it contains less than two pages of references to articles that Dr. Peterson found by doing an on-line search of on-line material on that topic. Dr. Peterson has no expertise in that area. If he had, then he might have known that the proposition that fathers play a key role in proper development of children in both intact and non-intact families, and that mothers have no legal “leg-up” when it comes to deciding custody cases, have long since been accepted by our courts here in Canada. I do not need to consider any of the articles referred to by Dr. Peterson to accept that.

You can read the it in full here The case is Sordi v. Sordi, 2009 CanLII 80104 (ON SC)

If there's ever a time where one ought to act honestly, professionally and ethically then murder trials and custody battles where the lives of real people are effected should be it, yet Peterson has a track record of acting unprofessionally and I would say disholestly and inethically in such a setting, despite apparently working for a large law firm for 15 years.

He's a repeat bullshitter.

This is fruedian level negligence of psychology. It seems like Peterson just believes stupid ideas and has no evidence for them yet peddles them hard all the same.

I wouldn't call that bullshitting. That reads like a psychologist just trying to look out for a patient that he knows and understands better than the judge.

I don't see how this is relevant to his efficacy in helping people struggling with mental illness. Which is what my original comment was aimed at.

These comments criticizing Jordan Peterson don't really seem that thought out either.

Merely listing good parts of JP doesn't make him beneficial as a whole. A large number of people don't just take the good and leave the bad when it comes to advice. He's a climate change denier ffs.

Sorry for anyone who grew up without a dad, but JP should not be your surrogate father figure, tbh no stranger should be, but even if a stranger is your best choice JP is far down the list. Not at the bottom by any means, but if it's a stranger you can take your pick so why settle...

I don't follow him as closely as you do apparently, so I wouldn't know. I stand by his book 12 Rules for life though. Turned me from a jobless stoner with no aspirations to a professional making more money in a month than most people in my country earn in 3 months. Am I happier, who's to say, but at least I'm not depressed anymore.

Took me a good four years of hard work, but I got there in the end. I likely would have just killed myself back then had I not heard his advice (life was hitting me hard, to put it mildly). There weren't really any good people in my life back then, I realise now.

Edit: Why are you stating his opinions on a field of science that he has no authority on, as if that discredits his body of work as a doctor of psychology?

I'm very glad his advice helped you, I literally just emphasised that he does have some good takes, the issue is with the many folks who follow him holistically, including his bad takes. They confuse the fact that just because they got good advice from him that all his advice is good, and that's a problem when done with anyone let alone JP.

Edit: Why are you stating his opinions on a field of science that he has no authority on, as if that discredits his body of work as a doctor of psychology?

I'm stating them because he has gone to universities and debated them on stage in his capacity as a public figure.

I never once used it as an attempt to discredit any of his psych advice, please don't strawman me, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was accidental of you this time.

However, now that you mention it, I do question the psych competence of anyone who can believe a conspiracy of that size could exist, he should know that it's impossible to keep a secret with that many people.

I'm stating them because he has gone to universities and debated them on stage in his capacity as a public figure.

It's a good thing that he does, because what other use does a person dedicated to academics have?

Ok? And climate change denial is moronic so I'm calling him out for spouting it. What's the problem? If he doesn't want to be criticised for something then don't intentionally broadcast it for everyone to see.

Bro, you're the one who bitched about people dissing JP, don't be salty just because you got a valid explanation lol

He is a really good psychologist and clinician

How do you know? Are you a patient of his?

You mean, you read his book and you found yourself healed by his words of profound wisdom? Otherwise we're going to have to ask for a screenshot

So wait, you're saying you weren't an actual patient and you just read his book?

Is mocking and diminishing people who've struggled with severe depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts a regular thing for you, or what?

Spare me the crocodile tears.

A good psychologist does not make a good public intellectual. Cleaning your room is good sense, but don't be bad faith – you know for a fact that Peterson is disliked, and rightfully so, because of his political beliefs.

I don't know what "being bad faith" is, that sentence makes no sense.

I know he's disliked, everything he says is apparently controversial to people, but his focus has always been to explain the obvious things that most people never heard from their parents.

People are too busy trying to disprove a professional in his own field that he has a doctorate in. How it relates to your political obsessions is not really my concern.

Pretending not to understand the core concept and then making an excuse to consider the conversation beneath you and escape from it without having to explain or defend your positions is also an example of "bad faith."

You didn't seem to have "better stuff to do today" when you went out of your way to start this conversation, only when you were pushed to actually participate in it.

That's called "being a contrarian."

He publicly mocked his patients during lectures. He's terrible.

If that's the case, I'd love to see evidence of that. His lectures are still up on YouTube, feel free to post the link and timestamps.

Shadow Moses?

Psycho Mantis?

N A N O M A C H I N E S

"Be the lobster, pop them benzos" - Book of Peterson Ch 4

I was hoping it was referring to some philosopher or someone I've never heard of... But alas

Oh wow, I never expected one of my videos to be posted here. Cool!

This is fantastic, well done

The voice work is perfect. You're a genius of comedy

Entire thing is great but hearing Sonic say "Shadow what the fuck are you talking about?" Made my week.

This should be in a museum, and this art should have been auctioned off for millions.

Full motion NFT 🤑

This was unexpected and so incredible

You're the fastest hedgehog in the Sexual Marketplace.

This is the funniest thing I've seen in so long

I need you to know I've watched it every day since it's been posted. 😆

I’ve watched this video so many times. I can’t get enough

What a flashback to when I spent hours at a time playing Sonic Adventure 2.

Been needing a reason to play it again and this was the sign.

The Twitter thread, a work of art.

Think about the phrase “fully automated luxury Communism” in the context of “speedrunning” and I strongly suspect that things will start to ‘click’ in your mind.

I fucking lost it at that point haha

Did he not get that “fully automated luxury gay space communism” was a silly Star Trek meme?

To be fair, it's also argued as a (deliberately idealistic) position by the likes of Aaron Bastani, so there's some basis in calling it a real leftist Thing as well as a silly Star Trek meme.

I mean, yeah Star Trek's setting is that humanity literally lives in a utopia, so it would be pretty dope. Capitalism is a pretty shit economic system when you're in a post scarcity economy where things like replicators can literally make whatever you want out of energy, which is in abundance thanks to things like anti-matter reactors.

Anti-matter reactors actually aren't limitless or even effective energy sources, in real-world (albeit theoretical) physics or in Star Trek. Really, they're a lot more like super-batteries, or more accurately I guess capacitors.

The problem is that while an anti-matter reactor is the single-most efficient way to convert matter into energy, anti-matter is not a naturally occurring resource that can be exploited. At least, not according to our current understanding of the universe. Anti-matter requires energy to produce. This is how it works in Star Trek, too. Anti-matter is produced at particle accelerator facilities around the Federation (and, presumably, other empires as well), which get their power from fusion reactor complexes and massive solar arrays.

In a way, Starships are solar and fusion-powered. The energy is just stored in the form of anti-matter to be released by the reactor as needed, because only an anti-matter reactor can deliver the insane amount of energy required for Warp Drive while still being small enough to fit on a ship.

Actually, the current theory in quantum physics is that anti-matter is being created all the time in 'empty space', but it's just getting annihilated almost immediately afterwards by the matter that is also spontaneously created with it. I wouldn't put it past the federation to have some kind of (insert technobable here) device that is able to somehow harvest this anti-matter before it's annihilated. Voyager seemed to be able to refuel itself while it had 0 contact with the federation for years, just by harvesting stuff from nebulas and planets and other stuff.

At the end of the day though, it's just fiction. It doesn't really matter how they do it, but a key point of the setting is that energy (and by extension matter) is effectively limitless to federation citizens.

I think the thing that gets people is not that some thinker on the left once unironically said it, it's the elevation of it by bad faith people on the other side of the conversation to some sort of central plank of the American 'left'. If the fringe lunatics on the right have taken over the center of the right wing party in the us, the thinking goes, then it must be true for the left as well.

That thread reads like a thought trian on high dose of stimulants at 3 in the morning after getting a YouTube suggestion for a speed run.

Returning to the topic of the work ethic... A sprinter may well spend hours a day at their craft, but this is ultimately a meaningless exercise, since they will ultimately accomplish exactly that which is done in less collective time by a casual walker.

I am very intelligent

I hated when Fosbury couldn't patent the method of jumping backwards during the high jump. Fucking communitarian (or whatever the tweeter said) process smh

They addressed that - https://twitter.com/bronzeswords/status/1449481701051154432

Oh my god I should have read that before posting lmao

Holy fuck, this is the funniest thread I've seen in a long time. And I love that the guy is just so proud of it that he has it as his pinned tweet, absolutely amazing.

"socialism is when you play the game fast, and when you play the game really fast, that's communism"

My sides lmao, so much references and funny shit in that thread

Someone else linked a pic where the guy had retweeted some hentai too

Bidoof's Law in action once again

Got 5 bucks on shadman.

Lmao I had to look up Bidoofs law thats amazing

I thought capitalism was all about profiting as quickly and efficiently as possible?

this is exactly the kind of shit I would write down in notepad and save to my "deep thoughts" folder when I was 14

so proud of it that he has it as his pinned tweet

Most of his feed is just retweets of lude anime girls, this is one of the few things he's actually produced of """value""", of course he's proud of it.

To think, I hadn't even seen this thread...

It's the best thing to happen to /r/gamingcirclejerk in a long time. The memes have a fresh field to flourish in!

In a Petersonian sense.

You're being a real fastest mario right now when you could and should be one of the legitimate sexual archetypes like Elon Musk.

"Yes, I said "rustled" instead of "ruffled" that is a typo. Sorry."

Well he certainly rustled my jimmies.

Jimmies status: ruffled

hulk status: ruffalo

knockoff chip brand status: ruffles

This guy began the thread by emphasizing the idea of "doing it right" over "doing it fast" and then proceeded to post a thread that was clearly a rushed, single stream of thought during which he never stopped to consider if it made sense. And on top of that he clearly didn't read it through twice to even check for typos. Looks like he did things a little too fast instead of doing them right.

Dude hates speed running so much he just did a 0% slow run record. So many words and literally nothing of value or sense in there.

Must have shitty work ethic.

I dunno, I feel like he just set a world record speedrun for quickest way to forever be alone.

The sad part is there are absolutely people out there who will love and support him for this series of tweets alone.

1/14

Please kill me.

But seriously, why do people use Twitter for trying to formulate long arguments? Just use a better suited platform, or at least Twitlonger.

I hate to ask but I have to know: this is satire, right?

Thought so as well but looking at the profile/bio it might not be...

Satire is dead anymore :-/

Even if it WAS satire from the author, it is fuel for the argument the piece itself created and is going to be taken seriously as such by those who agree, without even a hint of irony or understanding that it may not be a genuine analysis.

But yes, hard to tell the original intent from the context clues surrounding its author

Yeah I was hoping so because of the Mass Effect character profile pic but now that I went to the actual profile.......

The amount of self-contradiction in their "about me" section is honestly impressive though.

I mean it has to be right? It repeatedly contradicts the point it's trying to make (in between jumbles of random quotes and incoherent rambling) to comedic effect. Speed running is a pointless low-effort activity done by those with a weak work ethic, but also it's incredibly complex and time consuming work. It's pointless because someone else will just steal your method and build upon it even though that's kind of the point of solving a puzzle as a community so don't do it in a group or you're not accomplishing anything on your own, but if you don't do it in a group you're just being inefficient by not building on the work of others and wasting more time, buuuut also don't do it in a group because then someone will just copy your low-effort incredibly hard work to save themselves time and retroactively waste your time. So just waste your time playing the game regularly then move on to some other game to play regularly until you beat it regularly then move on and on and on because apparently deriving enjoyment from wasting your time on two or three or four different games does not cumutively waste the sum of the times spent on those games. But also wait don't you play those individual games the "correct" way too fast or you'll accidentally waste your time. And apparently Elon Musk is an international sex icon now?

It has to be satire, no one could actually be this delusional... right?

The alt right is full of delusional idiots. So not sure

His bio claims he's "center left" lmao

Since Biden is a center-right commie what does this make him?!

Shouldn't use the term "alt right". There's no such thing.

"Alt right" is a term used by right wingers who espouse enough fascist and nazi rhetoric to be directly compared to them, but don't like it when people point that out.

He describes himself as "centre-left" in his bio. But to be fair, there are plenty of delusional idiots on that end of the spectrum too.

Spoiler: if you are trying to apply Jordan Peterson logic to something completely normal and making it out to be leftist lobstering, you're not center-left. Guy's just hiding his power level.

I mean sure, but that end of the spectrum isn't ranting about the sexual marketplace or how everything is secretly a Communist plot. The amount of chuds online who are too chickenshit to call themselves right wing and just say they're centrist/centre-left is really high. Hell even alt-right started out as a term meant to essentially mean "not your grandpappy's right wing".

I once was arguing with someone about the fact that "alt right" as a term was popularized by neo nazi Richard Spencer to make white nationalism more palatable to the general public, and she told me with the confidence of someone who thinks they're about to make an incredibly good point, "there's nothing wrong with being white and there's nothing wrong with being a nationalist"

Stop calling us Nazis but also Nazis did nothing wrong are two oft repeated views by the same group.

It's almost like they know what they believe in is atrocious.

"center-left" is just like "classical liberal" or "walk away democrats" - alt right people cosplaying

He calls Jordan Peterson a centrist and constantly derides leftists. He's very much a poster child for r/ENLIGHTENEDCENTRISM, that is to say a right-winger who believes that they are a centrist and anyone to the left of them is a commie.

His profile also says he is anti-feminist/SJW so he's obviously not a leftist.

" and, in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace ('fastest mario')"

This is just too much a comedic work of art to not be satire. Every word is funnier than the last.

Dude how do you not realize this is satire after 3 sentences into that shit. And then proceed to write a wall of text about it. Some people really shouldn't be on the internet

No, he's just a moron.

In the sexual marketplace, which archetypes are simultaneously deemed the most creative and valued the highest? 10/14

Ladies and gentlemen, who will the distinguished twitter gentleman elevate as an example of a creative and valuable individual!? A multi-discipline artist like Harry Styles? Maybe a talented athlete using their platform to fight for social change like Lewis Hamiltion?

Nope!

Ladies and gentlemen, the most desirable mario is internet memelord Elon Musk!!!

For the love of god someone needs to get this in front of that Summoning Salt guy.

https://youtu.be/mmJ_LT8bUj0

I want this thread read with some “home” playing in the background.

Imagine the beat drop when he gets to the part about

fully automated luxury communism

This is so sad, Alexa play we're finally landing

What...... the hell?

"Consider how woke GDQ has been, almost since the very beginning."

lmao, pure gold.

It has pronouns so it's THE RADICAL LEFT

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, truly.

Lmao I can’t believe the source of this video is a real argument someone was trying to make

Also, did he just say Elon is a sexual archetype?

This is not possibly serious

Holy fucking shit lmao

Sonic is more of a ligma male.

Who the hell is Steve Jobs?

It's like... I get this joke and it's funny to me.

But holy shit this humor is fucking weird. Totally inscrutable.

That's internet humor for you. Layers of inside jokes with inside jokes on the inside jokes.

Shadow the hedgehog is a bitchass motherfucker

Someone get Ryan and Penny on this.

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.

F A S T E S T M A R I O

This video cured my cancer.

"PHD student in philosophy and history" the only contemporary "philosopher" he can cite is Jordan Peterson, a Psychology PHD who writes self help books. It's so painfully obvious to everybody but him that we all know that he's not well read in the theory, he's not a PHD candidate, he just watches Jordan Peterson videos on YouTube.

Super speed,literally the fastest

Has women pursue him and literally fight for him

Always wins

Infinite Friends, makes friends easily

Sonic is not a beta by any means

Super speed,literally the fastest

Stop trying to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace.

In a Petersonian sense.

It's like Goku and Vegeta

this feels like a robot chicken sketch

Political gamers are the saddest people. Even sadder than speedrunners

I'm crying this is too funny

How is this not already on the front page

I swear to god I half heard Sonic and Arin from GG when Sonic said "what the fuck are you talking about?"

what did i just watch

BEFORE THIS IS OVER, ILL SHOW YOU THE TRUE POWER OF CHAOS CONTROL!

This is an absolute work of art. I’ve been laughing at that Twitter thread all week.

Anyone else get massive TFS/DBZ abridged vibes from this?

Absolutely. It might as well have been a convo between Yami and Yugi.

I saw a meme where a sonic comic was dubbed and wanted to find the original, let me tell you my algorithm still hasn't recovered from searching for that.

I don't know why but sonic fan art is 45% cream rule 34 and 45% alt right shadow and 10% sonic being LGBTQ+ in someway

Shadow has that Sigma speed

I miss sonic adventure 2 this was nostalgic

Was wondering when this would show up here, it's so so funny.

Sonic can fuck me in the ass

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[Poetry] Sonic is a beta male

Comments (208)

Jimmies status: ruffled

Sonic can fuck me in the ass