This is how the US trained the Afgan army
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Ngl but my school kids are more synchronised

Tbf, your school kids still have squishy learning-brains. I can't fault anyone who hasn't done one until they're already an adult for looking weird.

Also there's a good bet most of their school kids aren't high as a kite on pure heroin.

Or at the very least stoned on high grade hashish

Idk how high grade their stuff is lmao, they lack a lot of the modern tech we have in the USā€¦

Just Adderall

And that shit promotes the fuck out of some learning, let me tell ya.

Retention on the other hand...

LOLz, REF Vice, "Is this what winning looks like?" Caution might burn eyes and be too liberal for some (sarcasm). But then hey, it's hard to fake actual video footage. But this it it, huh OP? Take a small slice of something and call it whatever you want. I'd like people to see the full video documentary. Spoiler, it presents a "slightly" different take. That is the rub, no? Now, who has the balls to give potentially enemy sympathetic morphine stoned soliders guns with live ammo to teach them how to shoot. Takers?

Actually the kids at the special needs school here have better sync.....

Your school kids also aren't on Heroin (yet)

What's funnier: adult afgani shepherds who never learned to exercise or American school kids who get taught to do their military's preferred aerobics

I don't think jumping jacks are exactly military grade aerobics...

"the side straddle hop! THE SIDE STRADDLE HOP!... EXERCISE!"

"Un, Twoo, Tree..."

"ONE!"

ā€œIN CADENCEā€

[deleted]

So, thankfully the Afgani's don't have boats?

[deleted]

Well, it takes a lot of people to drag a ship around the desert.

Corpsman up!

Thatā€™s where youā€™re wrong kiddo.

But they are the military's preferred.

The military's preferred exercise is running.

šŸ˜±Iā€™m never running ever again

Cut your legs to fight the military industrial complex

Big brain move to avoid a draft

This looks like a scene from Hot Shots

man in the front trying his heart out

Why does this remind me of the episode of Arrested Development where everyone is doing an impression of a chicken?

Cha-CHI Cha-CHI Cha-CHI

Itā€™s fun to stay at theā€¦

Afghan Army: Qxfeibble?

Is this real...šŸ˜„

The brave men and women of Crayola Division want you to know that this is exactly what it looks like. Maximum effort day

lmaooo Crayola Division

The very special forces team was deployed recently and youā€™ll be happy to know they were provided with pudding cups upon landing

Yes. Drugs were a huge issue. Most of those guys are high on opium or hash. It was fucking dumb.

I have a couple friends who pulled security details on some of these training sites. He said they were doing heroin right out in the open and their commander couldn't say dick about it, they were told NOT to say anything about it! Then he would talk about how he would see some of them bring CELL PHONES in and take pictures of the place! Again... They are "our allies" and we trust them... They gave up trying to background check new recruits because something like 80% of them had ties to Taliban / Al Qaeda anyways and there was no way to know if they were friend or foe (just like the entire rest of the war).

And this was all something like 7 or 8 years ago now? Nah. There was never a snowballs chance in hell this was going to work. Ever.

There was never a clearly defined endgame. A cash grab, from the start. This was always how it was going to end, because Afghanistan isn't a country the way most think it is, and never will be. We knew that going in. War is a racket.

What do you mean by itā€™s not a country by the way we think is it because of the tribes?

Mostly, yeah. It's incredibly decentralized, yet weirdly effective. Don't forget, this is now four failed invasion attempts, in a couple hundred years.

I'm not trying to be mean, but the lack of coordination seriously makes it look like they have a neurological disorder. My fat, unathletic, asthma having ass can do better jumping jacks with my eyes closed wearing flipflops.

But can you do them on heroin?

The afghans were like children.

Now you see...

Hey! That's me in middle school pe class.

Thatā€™s kinda the missed point. Youā€™ve been doing this sort of exercise since you where 3. These are a bunch of dudes who live in the mountains and probably canā€™t read.

so, people in the mountains canā€™t mimic behavior? jumping jacks are taught to children for a reason lol theyā€™re the easiest exercise to learn

Theyre high on drugs my guy, not stupid.

Not their best and brightest.

I know, they should replace those crayon eating marines with someone who knows what theyre doing.

Those arenā€™t USMC uniforms. Thatā€™s either Army or Air Force. Not Navy or Coastie either.

Army. I was there. Beside a few capable soldiers, that is what the Iraqi and Afghanistan forces looked like. Foreign presence was the only thing propping up those countries. Only permanent presence would keep out the taliban.

When I was in Iraq the second time, during the surge, we had a big patrol base with a bunch of concrete guard towers around it, for our company and a platoon of Iraqi Army, and eventually some other units as well. We gave the IA one guard tower to take care of, while we manned the rest. It was right next to a big irrigation canal, so we figured the enemy wouldn't be able to approach it anyway. One night while the guard was sleeping they floated two barrels full of explosives over the canal and set up an IED in the base of the tower. At no point did he wake up. We had to toss him a rope and he did a half-assed rappel down the outside of the tower, then EOD blew up the IED in place. We had to destroy our own guard tower.

Exactly. I find it extremely difficult to believe all of the higher-ups failed to see this coming. If anyone said they were suprised they are either lying or naive- aka really stupid.

You had to ruin my joke didnt you?

they could be ex marines

yes we know that, buddy

He was saying we should replace the marine's with the afghans

At least that's what I interpreted, if he's being a libtard that's his problem, not ours

I was making a joke. Who pissed in your cereal you dumbshit?

I'm stealing that

ok libtard

ownedthelibs

yeah ok ok "owo I'm so sorry for being white owo" ye stfu

It actually is.

This is basically a representation of their entire armed forces. Possibly the entire populace.

You mean these lean, mean, killing machines dropped their weapons and didnā€™t try to stop the Taliban? Nooooo. /s

Silly, they didnā€™t drop their weapons, they just took off their military uniforms and put on the taliban ones. Then, they showed them the stockpiles of weapons the us left behind, as if they were knowingly directly arming terrorists

When you fund a terrorist group to get rid of the terrorist group you funded

Fundception? The way I see it, how can they hate us when we just gave them all the weapons they need for the next 10 years worth of war?

Yeah, at this point the Taliban should really be our allies with how much US money and supplies have ended up in their hands.

Right? We are their biggest donors at this point. Iā€™m sure there are references to lord of war and/or war dogs here, but Iā€™m too depressed to make them.

Just wait until the US starts funding the Taliban to fight Isis.

When you fund a terrorist group to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded to get rid of the terrorist group you funded

Look at that coordination .. explains their elite level unit cohesion as a fighting force šŸ˜’

I think its because theyā€™re all doped up on heroin. Doesnā€™t Afghanistan produce alot of the worlds Opium? I imagine drugs do well in impoverished war torn neighborhoods

Guy in the middle just smoked a pound of the purest Afghan hash known to man, give him a break ffs

This reminds me of my high school days. We used to spaz out and our gym teacher would just shake his head

šŸŽ¶ Let's get down to business šŸŽ¶

This is what came to my mind too - these guys need a good olā€™ fashioned musical montage!

šŸŽ¶To defeatšŸŽ¶

šŸŽ¶the HunsšŸŽ¶

Itā€™s like an aerobics-lesson with only drunks, addicts, retards and other misfits. Nice. Makes me feel good knowing iā€™m not the worlds most coordination-challenged person

These are just avarage afghanis

Afghans*

Afghani is their currency.

Centuries of inbreeding didnā€™t help them out

Imagine quitting ur job as poor farmers risking ur safety to join the army tofight the taliabans just to get shit on by 260 lb americans mounching infront of their laptop and typing at 3 am in the morning

Iā€™m not american my guy the world doesnā€™t revolve around you guys

heā€™s a redditor, of course it does

I'm going for Sweden, equally racist and is obsessed with America. Where are you from?

Oh youā€™re so intelligt for guessing my nationality after easily figuring it out from my profile. The super racist country naziswedenšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

I live in Sweden so that's not it but alright. Yup, sounds like a Swede. Silent face to face and can't shut his mouth online

Du sƤger att Sverige Ƥr rasistiskt och leker direkt offer nƤr man hƄnar din idioti. Har svƄrt att tƤnka mig att du skulle vƄga snacka i verkligheten dƄ du verkar vara cirka 14 Ƅr gammal.

You're just proving my point here buddy ;)

Oddly specific, you talking from experience?

Spoken like a fucking idiot, well done.

Now I wanna see a comparison with the taliban doing this

Not surprised they got overrun so fast by taliban.

Well they didnā€™t even put up any fight so

They were told to stand down. Not their fault.

France of the middle east

Hurr durr French surrender while ignoring that France was ready to fight the Germans but got outplayed and had to surrender.

Unironically a good comparison.

ā€œYou might not be the smartest platoon, but god dammit youā€™ll be the strongest.ā€

-drill sarnt

Hard to do jumping jacks when you're possessed by demons...

This is reason why they kept running away from fighting

Areā€¦are they disabled?

Some probably are not even kidding.

You should see US army recruits, lol

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Its like watching a monkey trying to fuck a football...

Heroin was a big issue among the Afghan military, so I wouldnā€™t doubt that the drug is an explanation for this.

This was normal businessā€¦ Was in Afghanistan 2009/2010 and unless you got some ANA SF elements to trainā€¦ well letā€™s say we were happy when a normal platoon showed up wearing somewhat the same uniform

Hope you have a great day!

Hope you do well!

Trillions of dollars of taxpayers send to US army make this

If i was a American i would be really pissed off lmao what a joke

If i was a American i would be really pissed off lmao what a joke

Yep....

Noobs

These people deserved the Taliban.

There's a joke that also circulates among the US troops there about the ANA.

"They can do the jack? Insider attack."

"yeah look, some greedy asshole wants a billion dollars for a Swedish bank account, so we gotta make it look like we're doing something important so people don't get suspicious."

"How about star jumps?"

"Sigh that'll do."

Wait where are jumping jacks called star jumps?

In places that donā€™t actually know how to do jumping jacks.

Fuck if i know. Theyre called side straddle hops.

But they identify as soldiers. And thatā€™s what matters most.

I was never deployed there, but several people I was stationed with were, and multiple friends I've met since were. From stories they've told me, normally about 1 out of 20 volunteers were worth training, while the rest were just... well, like this video shows.

2nd row, 2nd from left. Leftmost man, front row. Front row, 5th man from the left.

Those are the ones whoā€™ve either done jumping Jacks before, or pick things up quickly.

So it's basically just Buster Bluth running around with a gun in camo, makes sense now.

Don't know why you guys are being assholes to them, you sweats probably couldnt reach for a tv remote. Besides nobody saw the full drill, it's easy to judge someone out of context.

considering they couldnā€™t do jumping jacks properly, i donā€™t have to see the full drill to know it was poorly executed.

I watched them fuck up so much, I forgot how to jump jack!

Watching this is kinda making me forget how to do jumping jacks.

Hey, theyre doing their best!!

I think a better title is

This is what the Afghan Army gave the US to train.

The troops in the front were really setting a great example huh?

Not our job to train them

It is after your gov ballsed up

The US announced it would train the indigenous forces so that the Afghan Government could stand on its own feet. Looks like they succeeded.

Defund the military then

Isnā€™t this the Iraqi soldiers from back in 2007? In their defense, Iā€™m sure theyā€™ve never done a jumping jack or seen one done up until this point in their lives. Itā€™s likely completely foreign to them.

Iā€™ve seen plenty of Americans failing to understand the concept of jogging, so Iā€™m not that surprised by the video.

And we give them more than a trillion dollars...

Lol special forces

Special special forces

wonder what the average IQ is for Afghanistan

Fuck US man

[deleted]

You're the one in the middle, aren't you?

[deleted]

lol wow you really got your feelings hurt

This post is fucking satire you dumbass

[deleted]

So you want this post deleted?

[deleted]

You're like super smart and stuff bro

We get it, you're too stupid to realize something is satire and you're embarrassed about it

Was this before or after they did the 9/11?

[deleted]

Would that be a bad thing? Fuck you

This is post 9/11

I did these in Lithuanian military too. It's a part of the training and they're much harder to do than a lot of people think

Is this a joke? Like, this is kindergarten level shit.

Bro they didn't do these in kindergarten... This is probably the first time they have seen this motion.

Everything stops being kindergarten shit for the longer duration you do it for.

I did this back in middle school when i was 8yo lol. Not hard

How were you 8 in middle school

Yeah that's the problem here. They didn't do that in middle school

Exactly what my comments have referenced. Not every country has gym or stuff like that as their curriculum or learn this at a young age. Probably the first time any of these guys had attempted one. Go teach a toddler to do one and see how goofy they look their first try.

iā€™d hope these MEN had higher intelligence than a toddler. makes no sense.

LMFAAAAOOOOO you lithuanian bastard theyā€™re easier than a pushup

Iā€™m not understanding the hate youā€™re getting. People think this is commonplace in other countries like it is in the US and itā€™s not. Like the person stating this is kindergarten level shit, which is likely where they learned to to it themselves. These soldiers had likely never seen a jumping Jack before, so it would be like teaching kindergarteners.

Jumping Jacks are one of the first exercises American kids learn. I've always taken them for granted and never thought about what it would be like learning them as an adult.

Oh God... Lmao. This could happen any one. But how could u record this o America

Having fun

Hahahah

I was expecting them to do the YMCA dance.

kinder zumba classes be like

Don't underestimate the importance of calisthenics

This like that part in the movie Born in East L.A. when Cheech Marin tried to teach the Tijuana OTM'S how to pass as Americans. šŸ¤¦

My tee ball team had jumping jacks down better than this.

I wish this post was a joke.

50/50, not too bad :D

This looks like a scene out of a movie produced by Happy Madison. Money well spent šŸ™„

Hope you have a great day!

Hope you do well!

Hit ā€˜em with the thumbs up and just move on! LOL

that 1st row dude is on acid fr

They are about as coordinated as a classroom of toddlers attempting to do the same exercise

No,
They are fucking useless and dont even try hard to do anything.
They have the mind of a 5 year old

Someone hasnā€™t been to basic.

It surprised me just how dysfunctional a group of recruits can be. They were training to get organized. I have a feeling the Afghan soldiers felt a lot like the national guard during the capitol insurrection, being denied permission to engage.

This video is older than any zoomer I know.

So funny, and they are all colour blind.....Wonder why

I think middle school kids could probably hold down the capital for at least a month longer than the Afghan army.

I donā€™t understand how they canā€™t wrap their head around the exercise? Like do they all have a learning disability?

Drugs werent off limits to them. They had never seen or done a jumping jack before.

You know how you can get stoned and forget how to walk for a second? Theres also a part of it where they probably wouldnt take a silly thing so seriously.

Itā€™s not that silly itā€™s basic exercise and they canā€™t ALL be on drugs. And if they are surely they have a vested interest in not letting the taliban back in?

From their pov it is silly.

Not necessarily. Some warlords see the profit in drugs. And surely their lives would be better than their sisters' and mothers'.

I see why they practically opened gates

Im just gonna leave this here and walk away

Yeah this explains a lot.

Worst thing is there are high ranking military dicks who saw this type of shit for years and said ā€œyeah they should be able to fight off the taliban by themselvesā€ and got the fuck out of there lol

Uh ohā€¦

This can't be for real

It ain't much but it's honest work.

Check out this new afghan k-pop band! Shit is tight as gorilla tactics.

Incorrect. It is NOT how the US trained the ANA. It is how (or lack of ) determined the ANA members were. In a part of the world where infighting and war have become a way of life, outsiders come in to ā€œsaveā€ them. When you have a people who believe fighting a certain way, see outsiders arrive who are willing to die in their stead try to teach them that what was almost a cultural tradition and tell them they are doing it wrong this is what you get. These people have been reasonably successful at war for a millennia, and doing their way. Their level of discipline is much different. And then there is the will/want to fight. The ANA members were mostly there because of the lure of easy money. Its got a very strong appeal. They were never going to fight. Never going to hold their own country. They were told the US would protect them, would save them. Given all of that, it isnā€™t surprising that the taliban just rolled in and took over. In abscence of true leadership, the people will listen to anyone who speaks loud enough. And the taliban speak loudly, with guns, swords and actions.

Opium. Lots of opium and weed also, lots of weed.

Itā€™s like theyā€™re auditioning for a Bollywood movie

Your tax dollars at work.

"Special Forces"

I want to see the ones where they do the rifle inspections with white gloves.

Yeah. No white glove inspections in the field. Only in garrison.

How can you be this bad at something so simple

Afghani people doesn't need this cardio shit, just handle them a rifle and count the corpse

Sad these guys were demoralized, hungry and lacked any capacity to thrive in all the corruption going on. One of my fellow soldiers said many of them would make more just stealing and reselling some equipment like nightvision goggles to feed the familyā€¦ no wonder they just gave up. 20 more years likely wouldnā€™t have done anything unfortunately

This video is as old as bush

They were teaching them how to surrender no ?

Good morning

Dem a high on heroine šŸ¦øā€ā™€ļø

Thanks, now I have cancer... And answers...

Shit... they're fucked

Well then, that explains things.

This is why the Taliban has taken over Kabul

I feel the fatigue

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

It's like a gorilla training a bunch of monkeys how to fight like a gorilla

They gonna kill the Taliban with funny

So basically, youā€™re ridiculing them for trying. Smh

This is cold šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚

This is funny considering the United States also trained what is now known as the taliban back in the 1980s to fight the soviets.

Everyone using them being high as an excuse, the cartels have no problem with it. Maybe they should start doing coke instead of opium.

This was more funny last week. Itā€™s more sad this week.

Don't be sad. Here's a hug!

yeah these people totally flew a plane into a building lol yeah right

Reminds me of the Man Who Would Be King

And people were expecting these people to fight against the Taliban? What a waste of money

this dude is having the brain of 3 year old in the body of an idk 28ish year old with the endurance of an 80 year old.

What movie is this from?

Thatā€™s a us drill Sargent training Middle East soldiers get ya facts straight

Edit: I miss read the caption sorry guys lol

Pay no attention to the Afghan Armed Forces, we purposely trained them wrongā€¦ as a joke.

Theyā€™re just trying their best

No hope for that army.

Looks about the same as marines boot camp these days.

No wonder why they sucked

This is what happens when miscommunication is involved

I spotted Borat.

Me in Phys Ed class goofin off. When you know you're gonna get your a55 handed to you anyway.

šŸ˜³

US is a joke

Is this how the Talibans (afghan terrorist org) invaded the country?

Is this real or a joke?

Thatā€™s physical training, if you werenā€™t there youā€™ve no idea.

That was wow

This is honestly sad to see

Proving that you canā€™t fix stupidā€¦but you can invade it.

Oh look, a normal p.e. lesson in my school

A trillion dollars well spent

Oh my

These guys are supposed to stop taliban?

Imagine this guys retake Afghanistan

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚lol

this is iraq in 2009

This made my day šŸ˜‚

Well at least there having fun

ā€œWereā€

It's not that hard, guys!

I did this kind of exercise straight 6 years at 5 AM during my school days.

They didn't even try, the Afghans had no chance. The Taliban have way SUPERIOR men. America is weak in all but numbers. They only ever won ww2 and ww2, and that was with help.

[deleted]

Hmmm yeah, i won a chess game against myself

What did you want them to do? Nuke every city? If the Taliban are going to hide in caves and over in Pakistan for two decades you can hardly even call it a war. It's also not the U.S.'s fault the ANA's soldiers don't care about anyone but themselves. They don't give a shit about their mothers, sisters, or daughters quite evidently. From the documentary I watched, the vast majority of them were high and scrapping the supplies the U.S. sent them for personal gain. I've dealt with drug addicts in my personal life, it's almost impossible to fix them regardless of the resources. Also, the U.S. won the Gulf war just FYI.

r/TooSoon

They don't have coordination but their trying them best. Keep going, Fighting šŸ’ŖšŸ½

Yeah they did such an amazing job holding the taliban back, so much fighting to ā€œkeepā€ on doing eh?

I cannot think of anyone so dumb that they cannot even follow up jumping jacks of soldier

Grown ass men cant do jumping jacks pathetic