A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar
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r/Jokesu/81llyw1n570n (22010)

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

Comments (314)

A group of North Korean soldiers sneaked out one night to a bar.

Everybody got shots.

A North Korean man is getting filled up at the gas station when the attendent asks what kind of gas he'd like.

He says a supreme litre.

Edit: Holy moly, I made up a joke people like.

The real question is why is a North Korean soldier in Oregon?

Being digitally inserted by post-production into a mediocre Red Dawn remake?

Par for the course

BRAVO!!!! Tho I bet that hurt when you pulled that out of your ass.

​

Actually jealous, I wish I had come up with that.

Well I asked him what he thought about Oregon.

He said he can't complain.

The original joke is in the comments

The real question is, why are they selling gas by the liter in Oregon, instead of in freedom units?

because litres are superior.

Who knows why Oregon does what it does. You can't ever go there because your whole party gets dysentery.

Hey now, they could be in New Jersey.

Not intentionally, surely.

Of course not. And stop calling me Shirley.

INVASION, DUMBASS! READY THE ALARMS!

Or NJ, cause jersey folks cant fill a gas tank.

Maybe he's in Jersey

He thought he Otto have a warm Bier if he made it all the way to a (gas) bar in Oregon...

Might be new Jersey

supreme litre

Oregon

Does not compute

Are you gonna stand there oregon feed the poor guy?

South Korea does this too, actually, Korea also has gas stations and Oregon's not the only place that has attendants.

They asked Hitler about the gas too.

He told them "whatever fills the chamber".

If people from the past could see individuals as they type this, I wonder what their facial expressions would be

Their true facial expressions would be hidden by blackface

And radioactive soap

When ann franke reads this...

Not to be annoying but her name is Anne Frank.

You're both wrong and I'm pretty sure it's Lisa Frank. I have all the sticker books.

Sticker books

JFC

She had a lot of time in that attic. She really was into unicorns and kittens. Pretty cool stuff.

Probably no more disappointed than my face was as I typed it.

Awe and confusion at having been transported to the future.

given that black humour has always existed and physical racism was ubiquitous, i expect the amazing technology would pique more interest

r/jesuschristreddit

Fill it up with the ultimate solution

Winner

If winning was who can make me groan and laugh at the same time

Too many vegetables? No the wheelchairs!

They say if you ride alone you’re riding with him.

I’m American, what’s a litre?

[deleted]

That seems like a bad idea at a petrol station...I MEAN GAS STATION! I’m American I swear!!

It's ok comrade, I tell fellow comrades you are American too, so zis is no problem, da?

“There is NO collusion.”

Litre and liter are used interchangeably. They're the same thing, just like humour and humor.

Silly British can’t get the English language correct.

He probably used that gas to soak into his clams.

No, seriously.

You know what, I'm gonna fucking try that.

I once knew a guy who liked getting filled up at gas stations. HIV is a bitch.

What if u said "one litre of supreme"

I thought of that but it didn't sound quite right.

Read that last part in 21 Savage's voice. Don't ask me why

How many times you got shot Alot

How many shots you got?

As someone who's never listened to 21 savage, I instantly imagine his accent to be like the Queen

Why

Well you see, there's this thing called internal monologue. While reading the joke, I was also listening to 21 Savage and for some silly reason my brain thought it would be funny to read it in 21 Savage's voice. I expressed my emotions through text via Reddit thinking it would get a good laugh and create discussion throughout the thread.

i support this

You’ve done well

All my gangs are shootas

Has he been shot yet?

You mean Tekashi 6ix9ine.

You mean Tekashi 6ix9ine.

What if you had one shot?

One opportunity...

One desire

~~One desire~~ to...

Seize everythin u ever wanted

Even the bartender gets shot!

And you got shot! And you! And you!

Sneaked isn’t a word, and you went to Harvard... you should know that.

Obviously it is snote.

Snuck or sneaked both sound ok.

Source: I’m Harvard after two seconds on google.

It's a reference to a moment on Conan. It's delicious, enjoy

https://youtu.be/q51ld-scMI8

I was thinking this exact thing as Conan's laugh echoed in my mind.

Am I the only one that got the reference ?

Several rounds!

Joke is better than the post

A group of North Korean soldiers sneaked out one night to a bar.

~~Everybody got shots.~~

It was shots for everyone.

Take my vote - this is better.

Lol, but apparently North Korea has its own beer. Not sure of they have bars, though.

So you're saying when the shots were over, everyone was wasted?

Your comment was better than the actual joke

Can't say the same for children of anti-vaxx moms.

They got "Diekillie" drink.

A group of North Korean soldiers sneaked out one night to a bar.

Everybody got shot/s

A nazi walks into a BAR. The guy holding it opens fire.

Last time I saw this one it was just "A Nazi walks into a BAR."

Mine is "Three Germans walk into a BAR......

RATATATATATA!"

[deleted]

Perfect example of suppressing fire

What is a BAR?

M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle used by American troops during WW2

Thank you!

I only recognise the name from early cod and medal of honour days.

The BAR in world at war shred

FG42 is the superior one in there still.

Also in Korea, so it really works for ops joke too

And the ARVN in ‘nam

[deleted]

Day of Defeat fo lyfe, yo.

I was one of the few putt putt gun users, aka the Greasegun. All my friends were obsessed with Counter Strike back then when I just sunk my life into the original DoD.

I can definitely appreciate the grease gun. Sniping with it was probably one of my more satisfying things to accomplish, however I tried my hand with everything. Of course the bazooka was another classic power move.

BAR: Big Ass Rifle

He did nazi that one coming

In America you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the party always finds YOU

Nobody parties like the Communist Party!

(Pretty sure I got that from a Bloom County strip with Bill the Cat.)

i'm sure the USSR would have loved to have the level of state surveillance of the public that the USA has today

say that to the Russian Federation;)

I'm not sure that a hyper capitalist oligarchy in 2019 would particularly care what a post Stalin USSR in the 80s would have appreciated

uhhh...state surveillance?

I'm not really sure how that's a reply to what I said, I'm still confused as to why you mentioned the Russian Federation in the first place?

because of the state surveillance

You must be joking, right? Check out what is happening in Russia now. Not to mention the big boss -- China.

Russia’s capabilities are overrated. China’s are underrated.

Corporate America's are even more underrated—and given willingly by the surveiled.

Start with Zuckerberg/Facebook.

Neither of those are the USSR but ok

In America, you buy vodka. In Soviet Russia, vodka buys you.

I know another version: Two guys talking while having a beer. - I heard you got married? Your wife is so nice., your in-laws bought you a house and you are having a honeymoon at their mansion. You can’t complain! - Yeah, I can’t. - You must be so happy! - Yeah, I must...

This one escapes me.

The guy basically became a puppet for his wife/in-laws. Even his opinions/feelings are not controlled by him anymore.

There's an alternative that hes' trying to convince himself - but given the fact that it's a deep joke, this alternative is unlikely.

I read this in Arnold's voice.

The newly married man is being forced not to complain and to be "happy"

Plot twist. The man is gay.

By whom?

The supreme overlord Kim

In-laws.... found the unmarried guy

My in-laws are amazing. It's my own folks I'm not so sure about anymore.

Yeah, sometimes I get along better with my in-laws than my own family. I understand my family better than my in-laws, but my family refuses to get out of their comfort zone or get over their biases. It really frustrates me at gatherings when none of my side of the family will come because they can't deal with how sociable my wife's family is and judge everyone who's different from them.

I had a long term girlfriend whose parents were fun to visit and hang out with. For a while I enjoyed them more than my own parents haha.

It's a double entendre of the phrases "I can't" and "I must."

[deleted]

That, in a nutshell, is my problem with it. If it's a joke, it's very poorly crafted.

I hear in North Korea, drinks aren't poured in pints, but rather in supreme liters instead.

Edit: a letter.

The real jokes are always in the comments. Thank you sir or madam.

You're welcome!

except you literally stole the pun from another comment further up

You think I read through all of those? Nope. I literally just made it up and someone else must have had the same thought.

Happens every thread. Great (hive) minds think alike.

Thank you Saddam

[deleted]

Ah fuck, I cant believe I've done this.

This is an old reused joke that's had Soviets, Chinese, and every other dictatorship imaginable in it.

Wow that changes everything. I'm unlaughing as we speak

Umabo: Unlaughing my ass back on

I hope you know I fully intend to use this in my daily life now, I will credit you though don't worry

I'm going to use it and pretend I thought of it myself. Might try it out on Tinder

Better copyright that shit!

Laughing: hahaha

Unlaughing: sucks air in ahahah

Pretty much what Jimmy Carr does all the time

Yea what is wrong with that dude's laugh??

It's like a car stalling.

He sounds like he is trying to laugh of his own death

He feeds on laughter. The audience laughs and fills the atmosphere with laughter and he just sucks it in.

GIVE THAT AIR BACK!

It belongs to the Beloved Leader!

Unlaughing

Funnily enough, googling "unlaughing" brings a lot of picture of Kim Jong Un laughing

This made me laugh more than the joke

I'm just checking my inbox 2 days later and seeing all the upvotes. Was honestly expecting downvotes as passive aggressively as I meant that

I laughed harder at "unlaughing" than the joke

Just like inward singing

Uol (unlaughing out loud)

Seriously though, who fucking cares if you've heard the joke before? A lot of people haven't, as evidenced by the 19k points the post has.

Exactly, Its like he was expecting an award or some shit

There's a sort of similar Jewish joke:

A Jewish man in a hospital tells the doctor he wants to be transferred to a different hospital. The doctor says "What's wrong? Is it the food?" "No, the food is fine. I can't complain." "Is it the room?" "No, the room is fine. I can't complain." "Is it the staff?" "No, everyone on the staff is fine. I can't complain." "Then why do you want to be transferred?" "I can't complain!"

Ok so I get that it's a Jewish joke being that it originated from the community but other than that it doesn't change the joke in any other ways that I don't get, does it?

One of many traits that Jewish jokes make fun of is a tendency to complain. For instance:

The Frenchman says: "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."
The Russian says: "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says: "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."
The Jew says: "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."

My Cuban coworker told me this one.

The real history lesson is always in the comments.

Give it ten years and we can throw America in that punch line.

Probably could use them now!

An unoriginal joke? On my reddits? Preposterous.

There are many re-used jokes

Supreme Leader only applies to N Korea, no?

bar? in north korea?

not even a soap bar XD

(I still laughed )

I've stolen this gag from the Wizard of ID a number of times since I read it back in the early 70s.

Original 3 panel gag. Reporter and peasant.

Reporter: So what is life like in Id.

Peasant: I can't complain.

Reporter: Things are that good?

Peasant: No, it's forbidden.

Im out of the loop can someone explain?

He literally can’t complain about his situation

Because the other responses haven’t mentioned it, the soldier is not allowed to complain because he cannot speak freely in North Korea.

Something about this response tells me you're english - explaining the joke by using the phrase "not allowed" not just repeating "can't" and using the word literally as an aid. But I could be wrong of course

By not capitalizing "English", I'm guessing that you're not.

Can’t means unable to do so, which is not sufficiently specific for explanation. Some examples of why you “can’t complain” could be because you’re mouth is full, you don’t know how to complain, you don’t know how to speak in general, someone’s covering your mouth, or you are unable to talk for some other reason.

Explaining that you’re not allowed to complain is a better explanation of this joke; the other commenters just kept repeating “you literally can’t complain” which didn’t really explain it fully.

And nope, I’m American.

It's not literal. Of course he has the ability to complain but is not allowed to because of the repercussions. I literally can't jump ten feet in the air but I literally could rob a bank but won't. Same sort of deal.

I know i didn't say it was... Kind of what i was driving at really

"Can't complain" is an expression usually used to mean that everything is going fine, and there is nothing to complain about. However, in this situation, the soldier literally can't complain.

North Korea is a brutal dictatorship known for mandating praise of their glorious leader and for widespread extreme poverty.

Woah, woah, give the man a break. It’s tough being, not just world class but, the very best in every existing sport.

Bullshit. North Korea best country

lol, have an upvote!

You're that guy at bar who leans over and says "it's your birthday? Have a beer on me!" aren't you?

Annnnnnd, what's wrong with that?

Nothing. I love good natured people.

I'm surprised no one has told you to go ask yo momma this.

Upvote must be split among the proletariat!

Why the long face?

Because we're starving...

Two Thai taxi drivers walk in to a bar.

​

Tuk.

​

Tuk.

Hahaha. This is funny because glorious leader said it is funny.

Bold of the bartender to ask anything in NK....

He never mentioned the bar was in NK. The soldier was North Korean. They are sent to embassies around the globe .

NK said and you believed !

After whisky a soldier is risky

Congratulations you are now a mod of r/Pyongyang.

This one made me laugh

It's funny cause it's true.

I genuinely feel bad for laughing

Serious question, are there even bars in NK? Are they allowed to drink?

Yes. If you look at any of the tour companies (young pioneer tours, koryo, etc.) you'll see that drinks are often included with every dinner. If you look up vlogs of people who go on these tours you'll see other Koreans eating, drinking, and just going on with their day like anyone else.

I saw bars in NK on a youtube video once. But there was no music they were pretty boring.

I think that youtube video was someone's travel vlog to NK.

People really should stop travelling to NK, and funding that little turd's regime.

wanted to joke about bars on the windows, but couldn't come up with smth humorous enough (lost the skill 😔)

YOU ARE ALL BANNED FROM /r/Pyongyang !!!

A cute South Korean woman ask him to dance.

He politely declines.

The woman ask why and he replies, "Because I have no Seoul."

I once convinced someone that Kim Jung Un is the oldest of three siblings, Kim Jung Deux and Kim Jung Trois.

I love and hate that I live in a world with people so gullible and stupid.

Why was he at the bar anyways? lol! XD

I dont get it

If he complains he gets executed.

Thank you nice person

NK soldier walks into a BAR. He’s now a human colander

I don’t get it please explain.

Edit: I now understand the joke

You heard the soldier, he can’t.

He’s not allowed to complain

Why is the North Korean national library so big?

Because Kim Jong Un is a supreme reader.

I don't get it

Can't explain!

North Korea is a dictatorship. The soldier, like North Korean citizens, literally can't complain about or criticize their conditions freely.

It's illegal to complain about your living condition in North Korea

Thank god cuz I didn’t either

Good one! Take one Kim Jong Un vote from me.

Sounds like certain Subs!

Sad reacts only please.

A reddit user

Dad, is that you ???

Haha. OH You did it again Mr. Weed number! Popping up in the places I least expect! Oh how funny you are (:

The bar tender asks "what would you like to drink" The north Korean replies, "can't "

Oh I'm sorry. I think I misunderstood your statement or mistook it for one above.

Can't complain because everything is so good in Best Korea.

Amazing how many people aren't getting the joke -_-

I like it

Holy hey, that was a good 1, here's your upvote

[removed]

isn’t this from Click haha

r/FunnyandSad

I don't get it..

It's sad that I don't get this.

r/wooosh me all you want but I don't get it

I've been that bartender, lol

I'm dumb, can someone explain this?

North Korea is famously strict about punishment for anyone who criticizes the government or leadership

  • my classmate (he was named Elias) had to tell each other jokes. So I told 2- then he told this one and I just noticed, holy

Ummm.... What the hell is this comment? I absolutely did not write this and just noticed it in my history as the first comment i ever posted? I mean, does it SOUND like I wrote that incoherent babbling? What in the world happened here...

L we rrrr doesn't talk to him anymore we have some family drama that we forgot to hear about and get the memo I don't try to lunch but I think after Kevin died you know I'm just kind of my sister and my brother cattle for very close like really Linda and having a very close and then Linda passed away and got her and skunk always told me that humans have already that calls you know these kind of fighting arguing their kids and stuff and like me in Ross

What the hell is this comment?

Clearly a work of art

Took me longer than it should have

North Koreans, can’t live with them, and can’t get more than 5 in the trunk

How do you all know that this is in Oregon?

Ah, an old soviet joke. Still works. :D

Plot twist: the worms say it, not him

재미 있는 농담

Walks into a Browning Automatic Rifle

What's with all the UwU xD !!1 comments??

Also, major repost

why do i not get this

he can’t complain (about anything because he lives in a totalitarian regime)

maybe i’m just retarded i don’t find this funny at all

you are not retarded

In context of what ugogurl said, "can't complain" means "I'm good" "I'm content" "I'm okay"...etc..etc, for someone who is not from NK.

It's so sad that I am in Joke thread, but cannot understand the original joke as well as any of the comments.

are you from former USSR, Korea or just any military?

Does a retired one legged Somali pirate qualify

u/the-flamealchemist

[deleted]

I dont get it lol. Nvm took me a few minutes im a blonde hahaha

Hmmm, a bar in NK? Seems like a stretch...

Could someone explain this please.

If he complained he would be executed because it’s North Korea. So he can’t. Can’t complain.

Oh. Now that is quite funny in its brevity then! Thank you for the enlightenment.

I don't get it. Someone explain

He's not allowed to complain/have free will in North Korea

What caused the North Korean soldier to accidentally shoot his comrade?

He couldn't tell white from Wong.

White man stab you in the front. Chinese man stab you in the back. North Korean stab you in the front, back, and in the rear.

An you just get trampled by Soviets

I don’t understand the joke

His supreme leader would punish him if he complained.

Kim Jon Ill is a cruel bastard.

😁😁😁

Thanks!

Can’t or Won’t?

A north Korean soldier walks into a BAR, later his family buries the remains next to every other repost.

[deleted]

Complain and get punishment, even be killed

Can’t compwain!

There, fixed it for ya.

Its funny because he literally cant complain

he should have said" Can't repost"

I got whooshed.

He can’t complain because of he did he would be executed.

Thanks! I'm dumb today.

Is it just me that doesn’t get it

A US Soldier walks into a bar, and shoots everybody and then walks out with all the bottles of liquor. The bartender asks, “why’d you do that?” The soldier replies, “I’m liberating your bar, you’ll thank me later”