What’s a simple thing someone can do to better their life?
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Declutter your living space. It's not exactly easy the first time but when you get rid of the things you don't ever use (minus a collection) it really clears your head

This made a huge difference for me. I always hated tidying up and cleaning, because it involved moving so much stuff around. After decluttering, I had more clear surfaces. Quick and easy cleaning, and I find less decorations visually calming.

Imagine every item made a tiny noise. What do you hear? Can you hear the vouces of the things you really like, the memories they share and the promises of future events? Or a cacophony of the shrill voices of random things everywhere?

Imagine every item made a tiny noise.

looks around

...

shudders

r/schizophrenia

*looks at bookcase*

All items in bookcase:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

At least they're organized alphabetically!

Oh no! Organization!

I imagined it more like that Harry Potter puppet video. Which... no, which would also be horrifying

Big mood. Great motivation, though! So relevant.

Is this about my talking doll?

"Papa, when does the screaming stop?"

The hellraiser poster is screaming again.

they can smell your cum...

Imagine every item made a tiny noise. What do you hear? Can you hear the vouces of the things you really like, the memories they share and the promises of future events? Or a cacophony of the shrill voices of random things everywhere?

That's amazing. Thank you. Genuinely inspiring.

This is amazing. Now I'll never be able to think of my dirty laundry all over the floor any differently. ( clothing shrieks )

I can take a little clutter here and there but real messes put me in a bad mood and leave me a bit irritable all day. The easiest way to make me mad is probably to show me a sink full of dishes.

Imagine every item made a tiny noise. What do you hear? Can you hear the vouces of the things you really like, the memories they share and the promises of future events? Or a cacophony of the shrill voices of random things everywhere?

I take medication daily so that I don't have to hear these things.

Why?????

Ah, the clear surfaces. One of the things that held me back from getting organized was not having space to lay things out and organize them.

You sound like Mari kondo

I wonder if that's a compliment.

Just an observation

"Cacophony" - here's your fifty cents, sir.

People keep saying this, or like "pick it up and see what you feel with this item". I really don't get it, I feel jackshit about anything in my house, doesn't mean i'm throwing out my TV or table.

Never understood how people see/hear/feel these defining answers from inanimate objects. Sounds exactly the same as aura and other psych related matter to me.

I just do a halfyearly sweep, if I haven't used it, it's out. It doesn't take a medium or magician to be practical.

Never understood how people see/hear/feel these defining answers from inanimate objects. Sounds exactly the same as aura and other psych related matter to me.

It's more of a "do I enjoy using this" or "would I hate not having this". Not something the items itself gives off.

Wow that's a great thought experiment to filter the shit I don't need. Thanks :)

Personal problem: I have nothing personal in my room other than the mess of clothes. I remove the mess my room just looks like a hotel room: empty and replaceable, like I'm barely there in the first place, and that ends up making me feel lonely and isolated. I keep wanting to personalize it but my parents have a tendency to move me around where it's convenient.

​

A year ago, Me and my siblings spent a week painting a patterns on the walls of rooms we chose and I only got to sleep in my room for half a week before Mom decided to use the ground floor instead and use that floor for tenants. And in our previous house, I was moved around 3-4 times.

Why would you do this to me. Why.

As a single 27 year old dude, Marie Kondo has changed my life in ways I never would have imagined. My closet is so slick now

My wife pulled that shit on me too and I gotta tell you I loved it

Right, it’s frustrating at first but once you are in the zone that bin perfectly folded socks looks incredible.

Yeah, and about 15 (no lie) bags of my wife’s cloths later our house feels breathable. We had no idea the amount of cloths we were living under

you won’t be single much longer.

I love you

No he meant that you're getting a puppy now with all the extra space

I will. I'm organized now but that doesn't make me less ugly.

r/murderedbywords

As a 27 year old married dude, Marie Kondo changed my life in ways my wife has been yelling at me for years. Let’s just say the yelling stopped but the ^^”I ^^told ^^you ^^so” ‘s haven’t.

Never heard of it. Care to gimme a rundown of why it was so helpful?

You go through each category of items in your house and find what "Sparks joy" and what needs to be removed from the house. Spark joy isn't really an easy concept to directly translate. It can be the joy of a perfect knife, a custom game controller, or your asthma medication. It can be a belt you look fab in or your drawer knobs. The important thing is that nothing in your house gives you dread or unease. No clothing that used to fit but doesn't anymore, no piles of paperwork, no half empty paint cans.

Afterwords, you organize. No junk drawers or catch alls, the goal is to have virtually everything instantly visible the moment you open or reveal the container.

It does two things. It reframes how you buy things. Before you buy, does it spark that joy? Or are you buying it for fun or obligation? It also makes you more organized. You don't keep socks in several places, you keep it in one tidy drawer. You're not looking for socks anywhere but the sock drawer. Now imagine that for electronics, or books, or pens. I used to have a pen at every flat surface, but now I simply have one pen with my journal and the rest on my desk where all other stationary lives. If I need a pen, I can walk to my desk and back. This reduces clutter immensely.

I highly recommend watching an episode or two on Netflix. If it piques your interest, the book is fantastic and really dives into why it works and how to do it.

Reading this gave me anxiety but also the thought of achieving this a mild orgasm

I kinda wanna try it got any good links to start out or just dive into Google? Oh wait nvm I have to do this IRL! Wish me luck

Real talk, if you have a moment and some spare change, Tidying Up is her book. I think it's helpful for guiding you to the frame of mind this method requires. Also come visit /r/konmari !

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You need to reframe your mind to be less angry. Do you enjoy the end result of the chore? Do you enjoy finishing a chore faster because you have better tools for it?

It might help your weird hatred of a woman thats done nothing to you as well. This was particularly unpleasant to read. I hope you find a bit of peace soon.

Can't speak for the commenter, but Marie Kondo's method isn't just a cleaning method but also a lifestyle with Shintoist roots- the main concept is that everything you own has a certain energy. If you pick something up and it doesn't "spark joy" or make you happy, you should probably throw it out. There's more details, like methods of folding clothing or how to organize clutter, but that's the gist.

I only have 1.5 tiny sized baskets worth of clothes that I actually wear. The rest were donated or being sold online.

Jordan Peterson gives the same advice

There is a difference in how these two approach the subject. Marie Kondo doesn't tell you what to think or what to throw away. Lobster Daddy lectures people on all sorts of subjects he doesn't even know the basics of. Marie sticks to what she knows, which is organizing, and she does it well. She doesn't have to go beyond that to enrich the lives of millions of people.

Marie Kondo isn't a sexist wackadoodle though.

[deleted]

don't bother. their mind is already made up.

YoU gUyS aRe TaKiNg HiM oUt Of CoNtExT, yOu NeEd tO rEaD hIs BoOk tO hAvE aNy OpInIoN

Words of wisdom brother.

i definitely find his opinions controversial but i never got the impression he was a sexist? is there anything specific you're referring to?

She's certainly a wackdoodle: "throw this out if it doesn't inspire joy". She's helpful though.

‘As a single 27 year old dude’

KONMARI THAT SHIT!!!

I'll keep this 25 year old box of random wires until I die.

My 7 year old pile of scrap lumber really brings out the color in my basement.

I keep all my scrap lumber in the corner holding up some crap lol

Surprised this isn't higher up honestly. I just recently got rid of bunch of useless furniture that was giving my home a cramped feeling. It's opened things up and my day at home is spent being more productive in work and leisure now that I can navigate more freely.

my day at home is spent being more productive in work and leisure now that I can navigate more freely.

Damn, just how much extra furniture did you have?

My living room had two couches and was trying to be a dining room as well with a kitchen table that was bought when I was renting a larger place with a larger kitchen and living room. Nowadays I'm saving money and own a smaller place but it's all that I really need.

Also my parents are at that stage of their life where they've buying all sorts of new furniture and getting rid of the old stuff and by that I mean, giving it to me lol. I've learned it's best just to say I don't need it when I really don't as it only gets in the way even if I may at some point be upgrading my living environment with another resident. It's nice of them though.

I also have a ton of furniture taking up space. Did you sell it or just put it to the curb?

Pick one room, or even half of a room, if you want to start small. Take stock of everything in that half of the room -- both stuff you can see and stuff that's stashed away in, on, or under furniture -- and if you haven't touched/used it in years, get rid of it. Do you really need that old PS2 with an inch of dust on it on the off-chance that you want to play Final Fantasy X again or whatever? Probably not. That old textbook about learning C++ from that one programming class you took a decade ago? Give it away.

We tend not to think about our ridiculous consumerism, but most of us have far, far, far more stuff than we really need on a day-to-day (or even year-to-year) basis. If you move semi-frequently, everything that just gets shipped from house to house without ever seeing use is one less thing you could be packing and unpacking next time you move.

Looks at old ps2 and c++ book

Get the hell out of my house and my head /u/PlasticWaffleIron

Along this same thought, when cleaning stuff out - if you stumble upon something that you haven’t seen in over six months - get rid of it. I used to always hold on to stuff because I “needed or wanted it once, and may need it or want it again in the future.” If you live like that you’ll start drowning in junk.

But I've done that with some things and you bet your ass I legit needed it a week later. The problem is it's expensive to replace those things.

I have a hard time with this myself.

Try living with other people like that. Half the clutter is jealously guarded by your roommate.

also, be very careful who you choose to live with (such as who you make your spouse, or your friends and family you might live with).

​

my wife doesn't understand the meaning of minimalist living. she keeps tons of shit and it has actually made my depression worse. i might even divorce her just because i can't live like this.

If that's true I am sorry to hear that. Is it just boxes upon boxes of stuff in an inconvenient place? Also, since having a messy crowded room myself right now and have had for a while, I can see how that can affect your mind in a way.

My friend is going through this with his wife. His home has been transformed into a place to store things and excessive decorations. His garage where we used to hang out is a three car wide storage unit. Her mom passed a few years ago and she brought 2 uhaul trucks worth of old mail, magazines, boxes of crap, clothes etc. He's almost ready to give up.

I know decluttering is a fad now, but about 7 years ago right out of college, I realized my home made me depressed. There was just so much... STUFF. I could literally feel my depression lifting as I watched all this useless stuff disappearing through eBay. From that day on I refused to buy literally anything, except for food, travel, and absolute necessities. Now my home is actually a place I want to come back to. On top of that I’ve maxed out my 401k and my extra $6k Roth allowance the past 3 years. I just opened up my first brokerage account for the first time this year with the extra tax refund.

This is so important to me. I find visual clutter distressing - it crowds my mind. Plus we really do have too much stuff. I have decluttered and also cut way back on spending in general and acquiring stuff in particular. I really don't need any new stuff to be any happier or more effective in my life. So no bringing new things into my space, though I may spend some money on experiences. For example, baseball games are a yes. New clothes are a no. Etc.

also, fix your rounded shoulders.

Also, it's a good self-care step to take 5 minutes to clean up your immediate surroundings if they're bothersome or unclean. It can be hard to do chores and totally de-clutter everything when you're depressed, but 5 minutes of putting trash into the trash can is not a chore. You should be able to manage that even if you're having a really bad day. And you'll feel a lot better afterwards, both from a somewhat cleaner environment, and from actually getting up and moving a bit.

If you have a collection, give it a good dusting.

The physical space you creat for yourself is a direct reflection of your mind. You can better organize your thoughts and have a clearer train of thought by organizing and decluttering your environment. But It needs to occur repeatedly until it becomes a way of life and second nature.

This is what I'm doing right now. I have some time off so I decided to REALLY spring clean, and go through absolutely everything. I had things that were thrown into boxes over 15 years ago when moving, and from the move before that have been basically untouched except to rummage through once in a while. There were sentimental things that I wouldn't want to part with mixed with the most mundane, and straight up garbage. My music collection was all over, cased wrong, and also mixed up with other things like computer stuff. My kitchen had doubles of things picked up over the years and was overflowing. And more worn out clothes that I imagined since I don't buy much clothing.

Now, all like things are generally together, and if it doesn't have a spot on the shelves or drawers, into a sealed and labelled box it goes. I halved my kitchen supplies down and can cook better at the same time, discovered music I forgot I had, have what I can actually call a home office now. Instead of being burdened by guilt all the time, even when I'm not there, it's now a real solid home base and my mind is free to pursue other things. Mrs Beeton would be proud.

This also applies to other aspects of your life - friends, relationship, work, hobbies, social media, obsessions, addictions, etc.

This should be higher up. It's amazing how much decluttering can reduce daily stress and tension. I still hate cleaning though!

This is so true! Depending on your space and how cluttered it is break it down into bite sized pieces to accomplish each day. This has helped my general mood so much! It even helps me wake up in the morning cause I have a plan for the day and I have weight lifted off my shoulders of things already completed

So many things i thought i would still want as a grownup.....i tossed most of it. LOL fuck kid me.

​

^(not literally.)

I’m glad that you made a clear exemption on collections. Thanks.

Clean your room bucko!

Absolutely agree. The minimalists on Netflix is a great watch to get you motivated for a clear out

love those guys. theyre good people, and they also have a good podcast

And it may take a few times before it’s clutter free all the time. It’s not a linear process, at least it wasn’t for me.

I'm a single millennial male and I'm always de-cluttering it seems. I live in a studio apartment and so cleanliness is super important for for my mental health. I have been in the process of transforming my apartment for spring just to break that winter depression mood. It's such a process though.

And then do it again every year. Now I can really tell the difference between when I have a bunch of stuff that I don't use.

I agree, mines has been a 3 year odyssey as I keep finding jewels I want to sell but love me so much I hoard

I have too much useful junk I always sweep all my stuff into a big pile and than I have to separate Lego and junk I can use from junk and dust I don't need and it's a hassle

I'm usually fairly tidy, but God help me if I misplace something important when my place is cluttered. It's like a fight or flight level of adrenaline.

I grew up with hoarder parents. So I'm not a collector of many things. I try to have least amount of stuff possible 😂. Now I have kids and i still clean up all their toys every night and clear the counters, wash the dishes. So that way when I wake up, I'm ready to get started on breakfast or whatever . It helps me a lot and now my kids even clean and they're only toddlers. They love it lol.

This guy Jordan Peterson's

God, I hope not

he says some dumb things but also some really sensible things. things that encourage people to organize their homes and their lives is one

This really applies to me. I'm such an untidy person. There's two adults in the tiniest house here and just nowhere to put anything. I need so be more tidy to make the space we have got more liveable.

I assumed it cleared the living space.

I just moved so I did this, and made a nice chunk of change selling clothes I didn’t wear anymore to Plato’s and some golf clubs and racquets to a used sports store!

Very very true!

How do you feel about books? Sure, I may never read them again, but someone may and there is something about a hardback book spine sitting on a shelf that I really dig. Of course I'll get rid of the other garbage.

keep your favorites, and in the future, buy mostly digital. that has worked well for me.

Good advice, just something about a physical copy I really like. I have read digital books but still not the same. Maybe a big box and a storage unit will do the trick.

Keep your faves. I'm a book lover and two shelves of my absolute highlights are so much better than two walls of "I read all these books, I mean I think I did but I don't remember most". Todays you can also repurchase most books easily if you really need to.

check out the Clutr app, helped me declutter (regularly): https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/clutr-helps-you-declutter-your-living-space/id1043048817?mt=8

Yes!! Great advice. :))))

I'm tryna to make some money doing it though.

I do this from time to time. The feeling is amazing and sooo liberating. I've got this rule that if I didn't even look at it in the last six months, a year max, let alone use it or wear it - it goes. Clothes, shoes, warm bedding, toys, books or some old magazines, or whatever it is, they all go to one of the charities in my hometown. The amount of things that pile up every time is unbelievable.

Edit: I moved house a few times so it helped in decluttering, and instead of throwing things away I give them to someone who needs it more than I do.

I always do it, and every time I just clutter it up again in a matter of days.

I feel neatness is more a mindstate than an act, and if you just don't have it you're doomed to fighting a growing tide of stuff wherever you live.

My husband and I are currently doing a mega clear-out getting ready for our son to arrive in July and it has been so rewarding. We've been living under piles of clutter and having to clear out our office and find space for everything has been amazing. It feels so good to get rid of stuff! Our flat feels so much bigger now, it's like I've got breathing space back.

Wow you were not wrong

definitely not a simple thing when it comes to my living space

Rearranging my furniture cured my depression

Not simple, that could take an entire week for some people.

Well hello there, Dr. Peterson

It depends on the kind of person you are. I can't function if things are too clean. On more than one occasion I've knocked over a pot of pens because my desk was unsettlingly clean.

Jordan Peterson is that you?

Remind yourself of the good things you have. Even if it's something as simple as a roof over your head, the bed you sleep in, or the phone you use to browse Reddit with.

Also, acknowledge positive things about yourself. Whether it be your hair, your style of clothing or something you accomplished when you were younger.

It sounds cheesy, but for those of us who focus more on the negative aspects of life, it does help to remind yourself that there are hidden gems in there too and its important to take notice of them.

ETA: If you are struggling with something, it's perfectly okay to acknowledge your pain/anger/sadness etc. and allow yourself time to work through it. Reminding yourself of the positives is just to keep you from getting completely bogged down in the negativity.

Expressing more gratitude is a wonderful thing. I've got a lot of problems with depression and anxiety, which often causes a lot of negative self talk in my head, so I made a point of acknowledging good things that happen. Earlier this morning a bird was doing one of those funky little head-bob walks in front of my office door, and I thought "rock on little dude" or something like that and it totally brightened my morning.

Expressing joy and gratitude isn't a magical cure for depression or anything, but it's definitely a beneficial habit to form

I love taking a minute and admiring the view of life.

I hope you had a fantastic day <3

Oh! Don't forget about loving yourself. YOU are important, make sure to love and take care of yourself, okay? Okay :)

I love this

it actually works

Best one I've seen in this thread so far. I often focus on negatives too much so I could help myself a lot with stuff like this.

I acknowledge that I'm lucky to have all of it, but I just don't really care. Sure, I'd like more but I don't actively seek it and I don't feel particularly happy that I'm not as unfortunate as others. If anything, thinking about it makes me feel bad because there's so many people without all of this yet I do

While we can say we have it better than others, the emotional impact is not as strong. The events you feel affect you in relation to how other events have. I knew a girl who never got rejected for a date, and then she got rejected for the first time at 27, and could not shut up for it for days, to me rejection is like, "eh, its just a rejection its meaningless." But to them it crushed their world view, made them doubt themselves.

If you ever feel trappes in your life, my advice is this: Change begins ehere your comfort zone ends. Nothing will change until you push back against it, amd the comfort zone constantly tries to shrink.

I just have no reason to go out of my comfort zone though. Sure, going out with a crush or getting something you want is nice but I don't really care enough about it to discomfort myself. (I also just don't think a relationship would ever work for me)

I never thought I'd do well in a relationship either or even find one, and when I gave up, someone popped in. So I tend to not tell people to hunt for a relationship, I think their better when they happen by chance.

But its your life, and I hope your at least content where you are. You are in control of your life, and you do what you feel is right for you, and hopefully your hierarchy of needs is satisfied :)

No offense but I think its really bad advice to tell people not to look for a relationship. Very rarely do relationships "just happen" especially in adult life where you have to go out of your way to meet new people and make new connections. Relationships are hard of all sizes between aquantices, friends, or a significant other and truly take effort to create and maintain.

Whilr true, going out seeking a romantic relationship usually ends with a few rejections which chip away at self esteem. Meeting people to build a social network is better. Friends have friends, friends might make new friends who you just naturally flirt with, then you hang out with them and see what happens.

Well that's what I mean, you should be working towards building friendships first, and see where it goes from there. You might not be compatible with anyone you meet but by making friends you'll probably find more people when you hang out with them and they invite they're friends, and you just keep meeting new people and being friendly until you meet someone you think you might click with. Work towards making a stronger friendship with that person and see if it can go any further. But as my main point, you have to try, you have to put yourself out there and be actively looking for new opportunities. People aren't going to come flocking to be friends with you or introduce you to new people if you don't initiate and put effort into the relationship.

I'm someone who deals with depression and anxiety quite a bit and had the opportunity come up recently to take a new job in a city where I know no one. This is a big opportunity but I wasn't really comfortable leaving my friends and comfort zone.

That last paragraph was the push I needed, thanks!

You're welcome. It was from a blog post I was reading after I had isolated myself during a few rough years. I hope the outcome is as good as mine! Good luck!

This really hit home for me.

Recently moved to a new job, and admittedly I've been struggling with not seeing my girlfriend, being away from home on my own, and generally being a bit overwhelmed. Ended up a bit fed up and miserable on a morning.

Got in a taxi ride home one night and got talking to the driver who was happy as ever, even though he mentioned his long hours and little time off. Told me upon dropping me off at my apartment that he used to live by the river (where I was no) and that he'd loved it, but basically the area got gentrified, and low and behold that's me there now. He said how lucky I was to live there, with genuine happiness, not a jealous, guilt trip way.

Honestly made me question myself and whether I should be moping around when I have a lot. Yes it's tough, yes I'm struggling a bit, but I'm lucky to be in a job that I want to do, even if it is difficult.

Things aren't always as bad as they seem.

That is a wonderful story. I feel I should point out that it is still perfectly acceptable to acknowledge your struggles as well. Just because someone has it worse does not mean you aren't allowed to be upset about things in your life. You can have those negative feelings, but reminding yourself of the positives may keep you from getting getting consumed by them.

This a million times over!

When we play the "hurting comparison game," no one ever wins and we all feel like jerks for hurting over what seems like "comparatively" less hurt than someone else, and then our vision is clouded and we haul around a ton of unresolved crap, and eventually an entire country who has bought this "relative hurt" myth is drowning themselves in grain alcohol because they weren't allowed to acknowledge that yes, sometimes it DOES suck when your friend Biff defecates on the white leather upholstery of your mega-yacht and/or your awesome three-job'd friend accidentally spilled their Red Bull in the floorboard of your '83 Corolla and it ate thru the rust and now you have a Flintstone-mobile and all your passengers ride in the back now and call you "Jeeves."

Different measuring sticks, for sure, but it would be incorrect to say Biff's doody on your new leather yacht seats didn't suck. It would be difficult to say having Red Bull eat thru the floorboard of the only car you own didn't suck, too, although perhaps higher on Maslow's hierarchy for you in the securing of food and shelter and such.

How much easier to say "Man, I am lucky to have this ___, which might in some ways help my depression, but clearly doesn't mitigate it, so what else can I do to love myself, acknowledge my hurts, heal myself, and get back out there as the best version of this flawed, wonderful self I am?

Unhappy people in beautiful houses help no one.

So what can I do each day to maybe try to make the rest of the world better for those around me who have more and/or less than I do?

TLDR:
Yacht pain = rickshaw pain.
Not a contest.
See your pain.
Fix your own pain. Discover you are happier.

I don't know about y'all, but nowadays I LOVE it when I catch a glimpse of casual truth or quiet humanity, of people doing good things when they don't think anyone else is looking.

So maybe we can be observant for more of that around us as indication of other good people and do a little ourselves, so at the very least, we go to bed at night with a happy secret?

What if I don't have any posetive things about myself.

What if I'm just the worst

Everyone has something good about themselves. :)

Anything that might be good about me is secretly actually a bad thing

Honestly, you sound a lot like I did a couple years ago. Are you alright?

No, not at all.

Obviously you don't have to take my offer, but if you'd like to talk, you can PM me any time. I've had years of not being ok and if I can help at all, I will.

If not, I sincerely hope you reach out for help. You deserve it.

I don't quite think that is true.

You'd be surprised. Like, I COULD tell you that I'm nice to people, but in actuallity my social anxiety keeps me from talking to people so its not so much that I'm nice, I just dont talk to anyone so I couldn't possibly he mean.

I've been told I'm good at art but I'm not good enough at it to do the things I actually want to do, and it's become another source of anxiety for me.

My family tells me I'm smart but it doesnt actually matter because I have no work ethic so my grades are plummeting.

People say I'm funny but that's mostly just a weak attempt at deflecting my inner self loathing, and after a little while people stop laughing and start getting concerned.

It's all actually bad things. I have no posetive traits. Im a worthless human.

Sounds to me like you have a budding talent that will grow if you nurture it. As well as a family that loves you and is proud of your achievements and friends that care about your wellbeing.

I know life can get tough sometimes and it might feel like your drowning in shit, but if you make a point of being a little kinder to yourself you may find the strength to improve your work ethic.

But maybe you just need a break first, try taking a day off and doing something nice for one of those kind friends or loving family members. Always helps me when I’m in a slump.

I dont have friends, my family is an hour away because I live on campus and cant drive, and I cant afford to take a break, my grades are in the toilet and ive got a ton of projects I need to be working on.

Im also supposed to be figuring out how to get an internship, and im still trying to find a goddamn therapist.

Honestly this whole being alive thing really is a scam, I'm so fucking tired of everything

I’ve just gone through your post history and it seems to me like you’ve been suffering with a mental illness for a long time.

First of all well done, you’ve survived at least 6 months which is an achievement in itself.

Second of all you need to get help, please, if only for a stranger on the internet who cares about you. What university do you go to? I know most in my country offer free help for students with mental illness, hopefully yours does to.

Thirdly you’re not alone, you’re not the first person to feel like this and you won’t be the last. With a little help you can beat this, I know I was there to. I got help and since then I’ve graduated, fell in love and am lucky enough to be starting family. As long as you’re still breathing there is always hope.

My school counseling center can only take me 5 times. They're working on contacting a local off campus therapist that is covered by my insurance but they haven't gotten back to me yet.

Well done for taking those steps you should be proud that you’re looking after yourself. I know it might be hard with your social anxiety but it may be worth checking up their progress.

Look after yourself friend I believe you can get through this, feel free to PM me if you’d like to vent some more.

My guy, you have depression. I have it, too. Let me help you out:

Don't fight it or try to do deny it. That's not helpful and you'll end up blaming yourself. You're not bad; your depression is bad. Your depression is causing you to have negative thoughts and low self-esteem. Depression is a real medical condition and the ONLY thing you can do is see a real doctor. You don't have to take meds if you're worried about that. Seriously, go to ONE therapy or counseling session; it will change your entire life and give you the mental tools you need to get on with your life.

I fought that truth so hard at first. I thought "oh great, depression, another thing I've done to myself," but it's not like that. It's circumstance and chemical imbalance and diet and all sorts of things that you can't possibly know how to deal with until you LEARN how to deal with it from a professional.

If there's one single thing you do for the rest of the fucking year, it should be going to therapy. It's not uncool, it's not giving up, it's not fake. It's empowering.

If you don't want to leave your house, you can use betterhelp.com. I'm not affiliated with them or anything, but it's a good service that I have personally used. They even gave me financial aid when I couldn't afford it.

Make this the one simple thing you do to improve your life.

Ive been trying to wrangle a therapist but it's been a nightmare that I dont feel like explaining because it'd take too long.

Honestly i have no real hope that it'll even help. They'll probably just tell me to do the same shit everyone else does "go outside, exercise, fucking meditate" and then I'll end up not doing them just like i do everything else and it'll be a huge waste of time and money.

That's what I thought, too. Here's what happened for me:

We spent the first session talking about my habits and feelings and the normal stuff you'd expect. The following sessions were all strategizing and teaching. A good therapist is like a prolific retired general: they figure out what needs to be done, strategize over how to do it, and pass on some wisdom from their own experience.

I don't go anymore because I have learned enough from my therapists to defend myself from most of the sources of my depression. I have a mental (and somewhat physical) toolbox of strategies that work FOR ME.

So if diet, exercise, and meditation aren't the things that will help you, your therapist will help you figure out what will work FOR YOU. You hear about those common things because they really are common solutions, but everyone is different.

And yeah, it's hard to get an appointment depending on where you live and what your budget is. Again, I recommend betterhelp for the convenience of being automatically matched with a therapist who can meet whenever you want. Because you pay monthly (not by the session), you can try it for one month to see if it helps. The worst possible outcome is that you're out like $200. For four sessions (one per week), that's way cheaper than in person. And if you're anything like me, you'll make way more than $200 back just by being able to function again. Plus, I was paying $125 or so, thanks to financial aid.

I’d always heard that if you don’t have anything to be grateful for, start with the fact you’re not on fire.

Lemme guess, next you're gonna say there are starving children in africa and that i should be happy I can rven type this response out.

Invalidating my negative emotions doesnt make me feel any better, in fact it mskes me feel worse.

If you are doing the things that the original comment suggested, or are trying to, then you are trying to make a list of the good things in your life. If you’re not sure where to start, start with the fact that you’re not on fire. That’s all I said. It worked for me when I wasn’t sure what to put. Or you can continue having a pity party.

But if you don’t want to be reminding yourself of the good things, then you chose the wrong comment to do it under. I’m sorry you haven’t taken the time to see your worth. Give it a try, if you’re hurting in other ways, please see a professional. Definitely wasn’t trying to say people have it worse than you.

If you’d rather be on fire, then by all means, don’t remind yourself that you’re glad you’re not on fire.

Yeah I probably overreacted...

Im just sick of people telling me "Your life is great! What do you have to be sad about? Its your own fault that you feel bad so just stop."

You’re right, people do that. I’m sorry if I’ve done that too. But, what I said worked for me at a point.

You're really good at being bad!

Thats not a posetive thing

It is if you're a villian

The power of attraction is for REAL.

"... It is a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates"

I usually tune out TED Talks as background noise, but one in particular was especially good. A monk who practices gratefulness said, “Happy people are not grateful. Grateful people are happy.”

My partner had a bit of negative professional news for one of us last night. Nothing that can't be overcome. Today we sat on the deserted stoney beach (about 14°C/58°F, but felt warm with clear sky and no wind) watching our dog running around and reminded ourselves of this exact thing. Cost us nothing. It is the simple things in life that are happiest and matter most.

Real talk im not religious but i started praying. The chance in perspective and outlook is major, makes sense now why so many atheist and hardcore god haters/deniers are always so angry and depressed. Its only as you grow that we start looking at life in a more cynical way and that can really bring your own spirits down. Fuck all that noise be happy to know u have food and a home while kids in africa are starving and would only wish to take ur place.

There are always greater and lesser people than yourself.

There is always someone who would give up everything in their life to be in your shoes.

It's a very humbling thought.

I started a great practice; fall asleep with a thankfulness exercise (Tim Ferris suggestion). Every night, start mindfully thanking yourself for things in the order of the alphabet. A - I’m thankful my sons favourite food is apple, B, I’m thankful that my wife loves baking and is fulfilled by it, C, I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to manage contracts for a living, etc. Start with the last letter you remember before you fell asleep the night before. When I remember to do this I have such a deep and wonderful sleep and start the next day with a great mindset.

remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer

This is perfect, thank you. Be appreciative and grateful, and be a little kinder to yourself. We tend to put ourselves down far more than any other person we know.

I feel thankful because everyday I have clean clothes to wear.

It's an important thing to remember what is good in your life :).

This is good advice but humans tend to look forward, and not backwards, and rightly so. Otherwise, why strive for success if you have the basics?

I always try to see the good things I have, I try to remember the good memories instead of the bad ones. It is a temporary fix because I can't seem to keep focusing on the good and instead I focus on the bad.

Just be happy you get to live another day.

Very well said 👍

Somebody mentioned a while back that making a list of three positive things and one negative thing that you experienced each day really helps to put things in perspective. It forces you to put more weight on the good experiences and you usually wind up realizing how trivial the negative stuff is.

I tried this for a couple weeks - it's admittedly hard to keep a physical list day to day - but it really did help and I try to at least keep a mental tally every once in a while to help me appreciate what I have.

I really needed to read this today, thanks kind stranger.

I like to do a night camping in the cold. Camp fire blankets. No tent. Maybe a tarp.

Or night out for homeless... there are a couple events like this in the us to "camp" in a parking lot in a cardboard box.

If you are reasonable enough about it it's pretty safe.

When you make it home cold. Dirty sleep deprived. Shower, furnace, clean floor to lay on. Makes me greatful.

Although I haven't been religious in over 20 years, I still believe that the ritual of prayer is beneficial for mental health. I think it's easier to be happy when you dedicate a few minutes each day to reminding yourself of the positive things in your life and expressing thankfulness for them (whether to yourself, others, or a spiritual being).

I need to work on this. I'm a survivor, and some of the things in my past have left me a bit caustic. I want to inspire others, but right now I need to work on not driving them away.

Whatever it was that you got through, I'm glad you did. It's okay to take the time you need to heal. Some people may not understand, but those that love you will be there when you do find your peace. I truly wish you the all the best.

In general, just talking to ourselves with more compassion the way most people would talk to their best friend and/or significant other as opposed to the self deprecating and abusive way we often think and talk to ourselves...it makes a huge difference.

This is great, thanks I needed it 🙂

Imagine if the only things you had tomorrow were the things you were grateful for today...

Count your blessings is a great tip. To tag onto that, if there are religious individuals out there - pray for things you are thankful for, and less about what you want/hope to happen. This will also make you feel happier.

That's something I lost when I left Catholicism. When I was younger i used to pray for my loved ones, and thank God for the good things in my life. During extreme times, good or bad, I found myself praying on rare occasion and noticed what a positive thing it can be. I realized that it's a meditative practice in gratitude and love, and have started doing it more often as an exercise in mental health.

I'm starting to think that we have lost a lot of things by completely denouncing religion. I hope that as things become more secular, we can find something positive that can help fill that space. There are many people who scoff at ritualistic practices for well being, but often the people scoffing are miserable, I've been there.

This has actually been of great help to me lately. I ask myself frequently "is it good enough?" Not perfect or great, just good enough.

I like to think to myself you fat piece of shit whenever I go for some bad food and most of the times it makes me not eat it which is nice, I might try to think of a nice way to call myself fat.

Watching news frequently helps keep this in check for me. Every day, I see countless stories of incredible hardship and challenges which make mine seem much less overbearing. Keeps things in perspective.

Reflecting on your gratitude is is a wonderful way to start the day.

Before sitting up in bed, or picking up your phone, or getting in the shower, take even 30 seconds to be grateful for what you have. I like thinking about that for a few moments, stretching my legs down to the bottom of the bed, and then rolling over to brush my boyfriend's hair out of his face each morning before I check my phone. Even if he's not waking up yet or I'm not leaving the bed, its a better start to the day than getting on with the drudgery of routine or mindlessly scrolling through reddit.

Best wishes

Ugh, I have a friend that just CANNOT understand this no matter how much I try driving it into his head. When things happen, even if they're positive, he goes out of his way to find the negative. Thankfully it doesn't have an influence on me, but god damn is it ever annoying

This so much. I've made it a habit when I get home to sit in the driveway a couple of minutes before going in and remind myself how good I actually have it. It makes it so damn easy to draw a line between all the work/commute bullshit of the day and keeps home a happy place.

R/foundthemobileuser

Hello, pointing out people who use mobile is neither funny nor entertaining, so please stop doing that, as it adds nothing to the discussion.

This is a bot

I too am a mobile user. We can say it to eachother it's like I called him brother

ETA

I do not think it means what you think it means

It's possible. I was thinking "edited to add". Have I missed something? lol

You're right apparently.

It's commonly used for estimated time of arrival

Keeping a journal just for positive thoughts like this is major key, not only to write in before bed so you wake up happy, but to read when you’re feeling down. Changed how I think.

Without being one of those tryna be funny and overly relatable people who say they wanna die every day and bullshit like that... this is hard. Fucking hate that there's nothing I can find redeemable about myself even trying

Sometimes you have to really dig down. Think back over your lifetime. Was there a time you helped someone, or just made them feel better when they were down? Did you graduate, buy a car or accomplish some kind goal that made you happy? Maybe you have a physical feature that people point, like a nice smile, nice hair, even a feature that you like.

Low self esteem and depression can really make finding positives difficult. I'm not saying it's easy and it took me most of my life to notice my positives. Really take some time to reflect and I guarantee you'll think of a few. When you do though, focus on them and allow yourself to accept them.

As always, I put the offer out to try and help if you want it.

This is kind of similar to even if you don't feel like smiling, just doing it can trick your brain into believing you’re happy which can then spur actual feelings of happiness. Except that you won't be tricking your brain if all of what you are grateful for is real.

Thankful for shelter, economic stability, health, amazing friends, a job that I am looking for to, and just the fact that I have opportunities that I can chase.

Cheers to life.

This needs to be higher.

I saw an AskReddit comment once, something along the lines of “just because other people have it worse than you, doesn’t mean you can complain about your own life.”

Cue a fucking massively upvoted pity-party with tons of Redditors chiming in about shit like they can’t get out of bed to have a shower.

Half of Earth’s population live on less than £1.90 a day and here’s some cunt tapping away on his £££ iDevice complaining about the fucking hot water in his shower cubicle that can’t be turned on because his vagina is too hurt.

Cunts

Create a budget. There are so many free tools available online that it really is simple. Take a few minutes each day to monitor your spending/saving and you'll thank yourself later.

EDIT: Since people are asking, I use Mint. You can set up a budget, categorize your transactions, set up alerts for when you go over, and easily track spending. There's also a premium version but I don't know what that includes.

Accurate!
So many of my friends (late 20s) have no clue what is happening in their finances. They consider if they end the month within their bank account (so they didn't use credit), they were financially responsible.
Which is the first step, but they don't seem to realize they could be doing more.

When you start tracking your expenses you realize where money is going, whether you like it going there and you can start tracking and saving and work towards bigger goals.

Personally, I loved reading "Your Money or Your Life." It's a little old (last chapter of investment advice may not be as relevant), but a lot of the consciousness it brings to your spending is still applicable.

Budget tracking is SO important. Just realizing "I spent $70 a week on lunches out last month???😲" Is a crucial first step.

Great sum up. It also easy to cut back on the small everyday spending. Make your own coffee, turn off subscription services, budget food spending and plan the week, eat out less, purchase needs and not wants.

The true first step is realizing that a large portion of the things we buy are pointless and serve no purpose.

[removed]

Exactly. My brother is the king of "Well, I'm sorry, but YOU..." To this day he has never just acknowledged that he did something wrong without passing blame.

what're you referring to? as far as i can see the comment you're replying to is about finances.

There is a new edition (2018) of Your Money or Your Life available! The author updated the entire book based on the current economic climate, and it's more relevant than ever.

Oh, brilliant, thank you! I'll check my library :)

You should always use credit and pay it to $0 every month. I literally use my CC for 99.9% of purchases. Boy I wish my mortgage company accepted my CC!

We're looking at credit in different terms. I'm looking purely at living within your means. So you're not just billing the rest of your monthly expenses on a credit card.

What you are probably referring to is maxing out rewards and points by doing all of your spending on a credit card, which is also an awesome habit. Provided you are disciplined and DO pay it off monthly.

Would love to know if this is ever possible, to make mortgage payments with a credit card.

I may be wrong here, but as i understand it, you need a balance on your credit for it to be applicable for your credit score. so, pay everything on the card, say $1000 in a month. but only pay $999. as long as there is something, it shows that you have revolving credit. if its at 0, it appears to the cc company that you have not used it- because it only checks on the billing cycle.

but again, this is just how i understand it. i could be wrong. credit is confusing as fuck.

You don’t actually need a balance on your card for it to affect your credit score. Ideally you want a diverse credit line (credit cards, mortgage, business loans, etc) and make on time payments every month. If you have credit cards open but at $0 balance, this still adds to your total credit line which is good for your credit score. Some card companies may have policies where they will close your account if you are inactive for a certain period of time, but you can avoid this by making a quick purchase and paying it off right away. I have about 6 old credit cards with $0 balance sitting in a drawer, but they still all count toward my credit line.

Nope. So long as your cards are active - though some banks/companies will allow a degree of inactivity - but long inactivity isn't helpful and eventually those cards will get cancelled by the issuer - you're good for building a credit history. I worked in a major bank's credit card division in various departments and we looked at credit histories all the time, especially if anyone requested a limit increase. We used billing cycles, which are basically months, as a unit of measurement. How many cycles active and how many cycles of on-time payments and full payments? Just making your minimum payment builds a good credit history. But not over-extending and also paying in full are big positives in terms of a score. So no need to carry a balance. I never do and I have an exceptional credit score.

It is confusing. And sometimes deceptive. Clarity for the user/consumer is never the goal.

It’s even just as simple as allocating your “fun” money.

My budget is simple. Bills, then 20% of my net income to savings, and the rest is fun money. I have my fun money set though, so as I get raises I just allocate more to savings.

That alone has put me so far ahead.

Yep! even doing just a semi decnt but consistent job of managing your finances ( 30 mins or less a week) can remove a great deal of stress from your life and it's not hard at all one you make it a habit. Go just the next half step further and you can get on track with some basic financial goals like savings and or paying down debt and that can actually - wait for it...

Lead to peace of mind.

I'm reading that book right now! Definitely recommended

I have only learned this in the past year. I’m 29. I’m very much a no regrets kind of person but if I had one regret in life it would be that I didn’t learn about finances sooner. Honestly high schools and colleges should make financial literacy a higher priority, much more useful that all of the calculus I took (and this coming from someone with a mathematics minor).

I’m 30 and only just started saving but I’m not in debt so happy about that! Am trying to save a fair bit this year to make up for my lazy 20s.

This is directed right at my brother. He just moved out to an apartment with friends a few months ago and has no idea where his money is going. He goes out pretty much every weekend, to a bar or a club or somewhere and spends at least $50 doing that a night(with Ubers and food factored in.) He doesn't really know how to cook so a good amount of his food money is spent eating out, and what he does buy usually isn't cheap. I know how to cook and try to teach him but he doesn't want to learn. If anything he wants me to come and cook for him.

Despite all this, he always wants to buy a project car to work on. Recently he just texted me asking if we could split the cost of an old Nissan Skyline. Don't get me wrong I love those cars, they're super cool, but neither of us have the money for that. I just don't bother looking for them but he always has some zany ideas for a new car to buy despite having about $200 left at the end of every month, maybe less I don't really know.

But the point is that people should learn to live within their means. I think I own 2 pairs of shoes, 4 jackets/sweaters, 4-5 pairs or pants and I have a bunch of shirts, most I got for free from different events. Don't feel the need to go buy a new pair of shoes everytime a new colorway drops, or a new shirt whenever your favorite artist drops a new line of merch. You can go thrifting for some pretty cool clothes and shoes. Also don't eat out all the time. Not only is it expensive but usually not all that healthy. Learn how to cook those same things at home and learn how to use cheaper cuts of meat or even just rice and beans. I mean there are literally 100s of ways to take rice and make it into a meal but people seem hesitant to try it because it isn't a traditional meal to them. I love Nigerian food because it's pretty easy to make and so different from what I'm used to being from America. Same goes for really any African food, there are some youtube videos about different types of rice meals, as well as stews and other meat based recipes.

Last thing is that we don't need all the different ways of consuming media. Netflix is good, but Hulu and Spotify offer a bundle for the same price as just Netflix. My parents use Netflix and Amazon Prime and Hulu so I get access to all of them but whem they stop paying for them, I will absolutely stop using them. Same goes for cable. I don't watch a single show on a cable network. All of them are on Netflix or Hulu with the exception of one on Amazon. Figure out what shows and networks you actually like and just pay for them. If you only watch the NFL, there are plenty of ways to get just NFL games streamed to your TV without paying for everything else.

"The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need" by Andrew Tobias is also fantastic.

Thank you, I'll check it out!

I luckily am learning this stuff rn I'm 19 and going to live alone in a month, so I need watch what I spwnd

Can't beat a good old Excel spreadsheet!

It’s similar to productivity tips. Watch where you spend your willpower

Guess I'm lucky I was raised frugally so I naturally avoid wasting money and just let it accumulate.

I'm really not good at budgeting, I just save as much as possible and end up with big excess of money at the end of the month by not buying much.

People think I'm good at budgeting, but I have no clue how to do it or how to know I'm doing it right.

Check out "Your Money or Your Life" from the library!

Thank you, I'll order it now.

How do you not know where your money is going

Easy, use your debit card card five times a day without any rhyme or reason and don't set a budget.

A lot of people keep their finances in their heads. So they estimate they're spending $200 on groceries and if they actually track it they may find they're actually spending $350. Or... they "don't eat out much", but then they add it up and the end of the month they've dropped $150 or more on eating out.

So, they don't REALLY know where their money is going. If you track, you can reassess if you want a smaller grocery budget, or money allotted for clothing or coffees, etc.

By spending and not keeping track this is your fourth Starbucks latte this week and you're racking 200+ dollar bills from stupid shit

Happens a lot more often than you'd think

/r/mountandblade is leaking

Using money straight from your bank account makes no sense. Just spend on a credit card, get free points, and then pay off your balance in full at the end of the month. Easy beans

Using money straight from your bank account makes no sense. Just spend on a credit card, get free points, and then pay off your balance in full at the end of the month. Easy beans

Open an IRA with a company like Vanguard and put money in it each year. Try to save the yearly max of $6000.

Saving for retirement in your 20s is so important if you can manage.

TIME VALUE OF MONEY!!! My dad couldn’t stress this enough to me. Every day you aren’t saving is exponential amounts of money lost in the long term.

500 a month is wild! I don’t know anyone 30 or younger who can do this.

I'm putting about 40% away of my salary in savings on the first day of the month itself. And then live on the remaining 60%. Some days/months are tough cause I need to buy tickets to go home and stuff, and I may end up spending in other stuff, but I have given up on eating out unless it's a dinner with friends or something.

I feel like many Redditors can not, or come really close, save 40% of salary after rent/utilities/groceries.

Realistically anyone in the US (excluding major cities such as NYC/SF/etc) should be able to save 500 a month easily with a salary of 25-30k+.

Yes it might involve sacrifices but acting like it's impossible feels good now but won't be of much comfort when 65 hits. Only you can decide if it's worth borrowing against your future by not investing today

Sounds wild. I can only assume you mean 30k take home, after taxes, which would actually be closer to 50k gross salary, at least for me cuz I’m Canadian. So 2500 a month. Let’s say the mortgage costs 1000, your student loan is 150, your utilities like power and water could easily be another 500 or more and that’s on the low end for a Canadian heating a household in the winter. We haven’t even discussed food yet, or the curveballs life throws at us. This is assuming no kids and no car payment, no insurance payments etc.

I feel like your perspective is wildly naive. Not sure how you would think this is easy? I mean yeah I guess someone could rent and live with roommates and not have a car but then there’s no invested money in the house.

I suppose you’ve always had a lot of money or something? I mean someone whose actually been in that position would never say it’s easy and can be done by anyone because not everyone can, and to be honest a lot of people out there are making less than that. It’s scary to think about it but it can happen to anyone. Getting laid off sucks.

I mean they’re telling millennials they’ll need at least 1 million to retire now lol. Like wtf?

I agree people should not live beyond their means and should try to save what they can, but I also live in reality and know how hard it is for the average person to get by each month I just wish I lived a life that enabled me to think this was “easy”

Y'all need to not live in poor areas then, smh step it up!

I'm 35 and can't do this.

I'm able to do it but I had low student loans.

I can barely manage $50/mo :'(

It's less a matter of can and more a matter of won't for most people. Even if you're making $30k/yr, you can tuck away 6k/yr and barely have a change in life style.

$500/month is just $17/day. A grande coffee at Starbucks is $3/day, eating out for lunch and dinner is about $20-30/day depending on where you live, going out on the weekend for a beer is $50/week, a cab ride home is another $40/ride.

I literally just changed my habits to make my own coffee, sign up for a cheap monthly lunch plan for work, and cut my beer consumption down to 1 beer max per day on Friday/Saturday/Sunday. Also stopped taking cabs as much as I used to since I'm not getting plastered anymore like my early 20s so I use public transportation instead of Uber.

These are all very little things. However, they add up to the fact that I'll have a million dollars just from saving $500/m starting in my early 20s vs a much higher number saving later. It's never too late to start saving but it is important to build these habits early.

PS - In the situation where you LITERALLY can't save $500/m, start off with a smaller number. Do your budget and see where you're really spending your money. Everyone should be saving about 30% of their income. If you can't do that, that means you're living above your means and you need to cut back. It might sound shitty but it sure would feel a lot better once you're in your 60s and realize you actually have money to live comfortably than having to work into your 70s.

EDIT: to the downvotes, seriously sit down and look at how much you earn/spend. I bet if you really put your mind to it, you can figure out how to adjust your lifestyle to make sure you're saving at least 15% of your income. Rome is not built in a day but if you don't lay down the first brick, it will never be here. /r/personalfinance plug for anyone that needs help.

Even if you're making $30k/yr, you can tuck away 6k/yr and barely have a change in life style.

I gotta say, this sentence has taken me on a journey. That's about what I make and I couldn't do $500 a month without a major change in lifestyle but I remembered I pay almost $300 a month on my student loans. If my loans were wiped out tomorrow, I could do $500 a month without much hassle because that's almost how much I put into my student loans and emergency fund each month already.

For anyone living paycheck to paycheck at 30k, I would not call saving a fifth of their income "barely" a change in lifestyle but it may be a necessary one, nonetheless.

And you're right, any amount saved is better than none. Even $100 a month will be treated very well by compound interest over 40 years.

Yeah once I started using a budgeting app it was a real game changer. Seeing how the little things add up is key! Sounds overly frugal but I buy like 1 takeout coffee a month now (payday treat) and just have a box of herbal tea at my desk for work. Caffeine makes me grumpy anyway.

Also for the retirement comment - thinking about my future self in the 3rd person helped a lot. I want that person to be comfortable (or as comfortable as possible). I’m probs at 15% but aiming on more this year.

Yeah. I started off at basically 0 my first year until my old man slapped me over the head and made me talk to his financial advisor. The guy literally pulled out a financial calculator and showed me how much money I would need to save to get to a million dollars over a course of 40 years vs 30 years. The difference was like $500/m vs $1,500/m/. That alone sold me on the idea of saving early. I think I started off just maxing my 401k then opening an IRA with the FA and later on a brokerage account. Now I can confidently say exactly how much I'm saving on a month to month basis even though everything is automated so I don't need to look at anything. It literally changed my life.

Check that FA's fees, as they can really eat into your earnings over the years. Can't quite remember, but Bogle said something like, 'a 1% fee can cost you up to 2/3(!) of your returns over 30 years.' Definitely take the bull by the horns and try to manage your retirement yourself. Recommend sites like Bogleheads and MMM for more info.

http://401kfee.com/how-much-are-high-fees-costing-you/

The difference between 1.5% and 0.15% is insane when looking at the avg 40 year career

Sure thing, let me just adjust the local housing market, groceries, and my health in order to do that.

The fact that you mention cutting daily Starbucks out of your expenditures is already extremely telling to the income bracket your advice is meant for. What poor person is taking $40 cab rides and getting $3 Starbucks lmao.

If rent is preventing you from being able to save, then you can't afford the place you rent. Find a cheaper place and stop making excuses for yourself.

Oh yeah, no problem, I'll just start a 50 mile one way commute that adds an additional 3 hours daily to my "work time". Or I can find a job near home... Wait... There's no demand for my job out in the sticks.

Not to mention coming up with the deposit, first and last, renting a moving truck, setting up new utility fees...

Just admit it, your advice is for the middle class and above.

No, my advice is for everyone.

Is 6k/year 15% of your income? If so, you can do it. Find a roommate, find a cheaper place, or stop paying for luxuries. If you have time to waste on Reddit then you have the ability to save.

You're already in the top 10% of the world just by having internet. Focus on saving isn't going to kill you.

Everyone that makes over $40,000 and gets daily Starbucks.

Almost 50% of American workers make less than $32,000 a year.

https://www.ssa.gov/cgi-bin/netcomp.cgi?year=2017

While I understand where you are coming from, that statistic is wildly misrepresentive because it includes students, retirees, part time workers, moms or dads that pick up a shift once a week to help their working spouse..

Most retail jobs are enforced part time, in that they don't allow you to work more than that. I think it's more than fair to count that, since the number of coworkers working at grocery stores to survive far outweighed the teens looking for pocket cash or seniors.

The unemployment rate is the lowest it has been in a long time. There is tons of work especially on the blue dollar side so even if what you say is true many of them are in that situation by choice.

Even if it's true and you make 30k after tax, you can save 20% of your income. Anything less is a choice. You can pretend it's radical and unfair but the only person you are hurting is your future sells

And wages have been stagnating accordingly. The unemployment statistic also doesn't include people that have given up looking for work, people who are underemployed, or people who have no option but the enforced part time minimum wage jobs.

Please get some perspective. I have a strong feeling you're probably still in some level of schooling or are thankfully privileged enough to never have been in the situation you're currently describing. I'd highly encourage you to speak to those less fortunate around you and figure out why they can't save 20%. It's not all drugs booze and prostitutes.

You are correct about the unemployment not counting discouraged workers, but we are also a record high job creation rate so that would make your point less likely.

Also, to your second point: * It doesn't matter how old I am or where I live, savings is savings and after a certain point (roughly 30k) it's discipline stopping you not economics * Nobody said anything about vices. Most commonly this comes in the form of credit card balances, living above your means, etc m

It certainly matters how old you are and your life experiences. It colors how you view life and whether or not you've experienced the situation you're trying to address.

I can tell any child to stay in school, get good grades, and go to college, only to call them undisciplined when they drop out. But I've experienced being in poverty and working to support the adults in my life, so I understand that sometimes the immediate takes priority over the future, and sometimes you have to pick one. If I didn't have that experience, it's easy for me to just look down on these highschool dropouts, unless I spoke to them and found out why. They aren't choosing between hard work and fucking around, there was no choice to begin with.

So why are people carrying balances? Why are they living above their means? Is it because this economy is becoming literally unlivable for a significant portion of the work force? Or is it because they're all undisciplined idiots? I have a hunch that neither is the 100% reason, but that both contribute. But why are they undisciplined? Is the issue generational?

You're coming at the problem as an educated economist would. Of course you need to save, any idiot with two brain cells understands that. You need to come at it now from the perspective of the common person.

Your first statement is a gross generalization.

Your second statement doesn't disprove my statement that everyone should save 20-30% of their income annually.

Just because it's not commonly taught in American education systems doesn't mean it's incorrect.

No it isn't? You literally said that if 6k is 15% of your income, you can save. That's an income of 40,000 a year.

I don't know how to argue with someone who downvotes people who don't agree and refuses to understand that many Americans live in actual poverty conditions that make saving nearly impossible, especially when combined with our medical system, due to low wages. I hope you get some perspective soon, preferably not first hand.

Are you putting those savings anywhere besides a savings account? Like any mutual funds or etc.?

Yes, age based fund for both 401k and Roth IRA. My brokerage is 70/30 and I also have a whole life insurance. Also my job is a bit volatile so I keep 1 year expense in savings instead of usual 3-6 months

Right what the fuck I wish lol

*raises hands. I'm single tho so maybe that's why

[deleted]

Nope just people from a similar socio-economic background to me.

Telling people to save as soon as they can is fantastic advice, but it’s naive to think that everyone can save at least X amount.

“Yeah I only hang out with rich people!”

Dumb comment

I'm 21 I save just over 1000$/month, and I live in a city of just over 1 million (aka not cheap to live in).

Good for you? I guess that means everyone else can too regardless of situation!

Lol right nice flex but what facts are you leaving out? (Six figure income/parental help/splitting rent) because this is not the norm at all.

Not really leaving anything out? I paid for my own school, bought my own car and moved out at 20. I live with my girlfriend but that costs me a lot more than it saves me. (Have a large apartment instead of just renting a room, and I also pay 2/3 of our shared bills).

I'm not saying its normal I'm saying that "I don't know anyone under 30 who can save 500$/month" seems a little far too the other side. Maybe if you're working 30 hour weeks at minimum wage? or have 3 kids??

Everyone can but they choose not to.

Well if you don't end up with thousands of dollars in debt getting a degree that you can't get a decent job with then yeah, I think that's where most people mess up...

Hindsight is 20/20. And that's also not the ONLY situation to be in. These realisations come with age. I've never liked the fact that we ask 18 year olds to make major life and financial decisions that affect the rest of their lives when many usually have no real life experience.

Then you're either making or receiving an extraordinarily high amount of money for your age, you're leaving out an important expense that you do not (yet) have, or you're lying.

Average salary in us for 21 year olds is like $2000/month? Since you say you live in an expensive city I'm going to assume you pay $600+ rent. I would say with expenses for like transport, taxes, food, etc. $400 dollar would be very tight, and it would certainly not make anyone want to save $1000/month.

Before taxes? I make that in a week... But my expenses are a lot higher than you guessed.

Before taxes? I make that in a week...

So you make 6,000/mo pre-tax?

That puts you at 72,000/yr pre-tax. Which unless you live sans help within city limits in Santa Clara, LA, San Francisco, or Manhattan, is fantastic money. Even if your expenses are high.

The same convo I have over and over is that every place has a bare-minimum salary that is required to save.

None of this coffee nonsense, and here’s why:

If you’re making a reasonable amount over it, you’re forgetting that one injury, car accident, strange infection or lost deposit is the difference between saving and now playing your landlord vs your food this pay period. Plus maybe you’ve lost your job after being out for 5 days.

Hmm I don't think your math checks out there haha. 2000/week times 52 weeks is 104000. However I don't work all the time so it will be closer to 75k like you said.

I should probably also mention that I live in Canada, and so all my numbers are in CAD. (I suppose that changes my 1000$/month but still more than the original 500 that op said) The social support/welfare is much better meaning that

  1. I wont have huge unsuspected medical expenses
  2. I have employment insurance.

probably other stuff I'm forgetting. But it also means my taxes are a lot higher (around 35% is deducted/I save it too pay to the government when I file my taxes)

How much do you make? How much is your rent? Do you own a car?

1400/month rent + utilities. I have a car and a motorcycle.

E: oh, 30$/hour and at least 60h/week, but I'm an independent contractor so no overtime/benefits/PTO

Bingo... Most redditors have no will or want to work that many hours. Hell, give me 70 hrs a week. I was working 60s in my early 20s and I was working 50s as a teenager during the summers doing manual labor

Yup. Doing 80 hour weeks brings in a lot of extra

[deleted]

You mean with Vanguard?

  • Log into your account
  • Go to My Accounts Menu
  • Click on Buy & Sell
  • Click on Contribute to IRA

Now you've contributed money to your IRA. Next is to buy an investment with that money.

  • Go to My Accounts Menu
  • Click on Buy & Sell
  • Click on Buy Vanguard Funds

Basically, you contribute $X into your IRA each year and then you immediately invest those $X into some sort of investment, usually a mutual fund of some kind. I personally go with Vanguard's VTSAX.

Oof. As someone who had to liquidate their 401k to pay rent at 26, this hurts

Realistically speaking we should have already achieved a communist society by the time you would actually be old enough to use said retirement savings that would be redistributed equally.

Edit:forgot for a second this subb is another maga racist recruitment subb. I will wear my downvotes with pride.

Edit2:feels good triggering racist mayos,4chan incels and boot lickers. Let the downvotes come bois.

maga racist recruitment sub

So non-communist = racist now. Ok.

I also arrived at the same question.

"realistically" lol

So you're saying saving is pointless because in a communist society we'll all either starve to death or be executed?

Or we get pushed further into the cyberpunk dystopia where money rules everything and poor people just have to deal with it because the rise of technology makes it even harder to remove those in power.

So you should still make your money work for you regardless.

How exactly do you mean “achieved” a communist society? There is a reason why it has failed in practice. I think by looking around a capitalist supermarket you should see proof of the superior system.

I'm just a dude on the internet here but I think he means that automation is going to replace so many jobs that there wont be another option.

[deleted]

a.i. will take those jobs. it will come to a point where people will no longer need to work. we are probably a few hundred years away but we will get there. it's going to be a strange world.

It's already a strange world. We're born to spend 9-5 5 days a week working and barely have a say in it.

well, yeah, for sure. i'm saying it will be strange when comparing it to the world today. but yeah, the world is inherently strange i suppose. even if we were still spending our time in caves, hunting and gathering. it would still be a strange world.

John Oliver is good on a limited number of topics, but this isn't one of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pq-S557XQU

[deleted]

That's merely an appeal to history which would be fine accept we have little history involving AI. And we are already at the point where it is AI creating the more advanced AI's rather than programmers. Even our most advanced and knowledgeable programmers are simply not up to the tasks since they can barely keep up. We are quickly reaching the point where our ability to think is being quickly outstripped by the recall abilities of AI building on the collective knowledge of our race. AI doesn't need to be perfect, merely better or at the least, more economical to replace us.

If you think someone being a "downer" is a rebuttal of points, you clearly need more experience with reality. Life is not based on what makes us feel good. 100 years ago, there was no such thing as AI. It took our race hundreds of thousands of years to reach our limited mental states. AI has only existed since the 50's and was already beating our best at chess by the 90's. No amount of education is going to allow us to compete with AI in the very near future at the current rate of development.

[deleted]

Your an expert in AI, yet your rebuttal is ad hominem. Most reasoning whether it is organic or artificial can be based on the same if/then format. That's kind of the point. But sure, You told me internet tough guy. I'll just charitably accept your appeal to self-prescribed unverified authority, because that's how interactions over the internet work.

what about the default option of just letting people die as they get squeezed out of the limited job market while convincing the working class they arent next?

Personally I'm on board with that. The poor should just be murdered and kicked in a ditch to rot so that society can move forward. America should be run strictly like a business. If you cant keep up with the pace then you're fired and I'll die before I ever let my tax money help the poor. Good ol' USA.

Too dramatic. Treat them more like insects. Squish any that get near your food sources and build systems and tools that keep them out of wherever you are or care to go. Eventually robots will be able to manage this on their own

If by robots you mean high tech suicide booths then I'm on board.

I wouldn't necessarily call it superior. It basically runs on blood. It just happens to be more compatible with base human instinct.

I'm reading contrasting ideas here. In the U.S., I see the left pushing for pseudo-communist policies, which is what I thought you were alluding to. But then you start bashing folks that voted for Trump. Are you saying that Trump's policies are communistic or the Democratic party's policies are communistic?

I've tried so many of those apps but after a few weeks I get tired of logging everything.

The most effective way I've come across is just get a white board and just write what bills are due and when, and whether it's an automatic payment. Then figure out my monthly income, add up my bills, subtract, and I know how much is exactly left over all of the time. That helps me figure out what goes to savings and what is disposable.

Yes! I did the free trial for YNAB (found a 3-month free code), and after three months I was so much happier that I paid for the full year subscription. I never pay for stuff I can get for free, but this legit changed my life. We have so much more freedom to plan future trips and fun spending because we can really plan how we use each dollar. I have friends who use and love Daily Budget, if you want a free option.

what is YNAB?

You need a budget. Basically uses the envelope method to organize your money into different categories and whenever you pay a bill, you take it out of the metaphorical (or physical) envelope to pay the bill . Personally I've been using that method for 3 years and it has worked very well for me. However the annual price is the one thing keeping it away from recommending it to new people as it has doubled since last year. Still give the envelope method a shot though

What if I literally never carry cash...is there any way outside of YNAB that is free?

Yeah you can make your own excel spreadsheet or use a pre-made one. I found this one with a quick search and it looks pretty basic but you can fine tune it to fit your needs and I suggest adding a pie chart to see where your income is going and also a bar graph to track income vs expenses over time.

Edit: also the term "envelope" isn't meant to be taken literally lol. Just a term to define categories you want to allocate your income to

money manager ex

free and open source

otherwise: gnucash

Honestly I just utilise multiple bank accounts and it works great. I have automatic payments that distribute the majority of my income out of my main account and into the other accounts (free online-only bank accounts with no fees) the day I get paid. I have: - My main account, which a little money gets left in for discretionary spending - dining out, lunch money, socialising, etc

  • A groceries account, which I'm also allowed takeout from provided it's in a certain amount of surplus - I meal plan, though, so takeout is only once a fortnight and normally from my main account

  • An expenses account, which covers my bills, subscriptions, rent, cost of keeping pets, plus I put enough in so that it builds up to cover a couple of annual expenses (I pay my insurance and gym annually as it works out cheaper).

  • A "fun" savings account - this is so I can splash out on something nice every couple of months without touching my normal budget

  • A mid-term savings account, for big things like travel, dental, etc

  • A long-term savings account, for a house deposit

  • An emergency savings account. I worked out what I'd need to survive 6 months without income if I scrapped all extras, and slowly worked towards saving that. Now that I have it built up I no longer contribute to this account.

Finally, I have a high return rewards credit card that I put ALL of my purchasing through. The most important part of this is I never leave it unpaid - I only buy something if I have enough money in the appropriate account, and I transfer that immediately to pay off the card. Paying off the day's expenses is part of my bedtime routine and, having come from poverty as a child, it's so satisfying keeping on top of it.

It does take a couple of hours to get it all set up and take the time to work out exactly how much you need to set aside for each category (always round up by roughly $5-10 a week so you have surplus, if you can), but it's so easy to maintain once it's going and gives amazing visibility of how your finances are actually sitting.

Whats the credit card you use?

I'm in New Zealand so it won't help you, sorry! I think our reward cards are pretty pathetic compared to the US, tbh - mine is 1% cash back and worked out to be one of the best I could find. r/personalfinance has great resources in the sidebar for the US :)

Mint by turbotax is free and it's pretty good in my experience. https://www.mint.com/

i dont understand giving a 3rd party access to all your bank accounts in order to do something you can do with a couple sheets of paper or a single excel book

Mint is annoying AF, have used it, but I agree with the poster below...it’s excessive in how much data they need from you

I use the envelope method and haven't overdrawn my account in years because I basically don't use my debit card. Do you follow the Dave Ramsey method?

Will do! thank you for the info!

It's a zero-based budgeting tool, i.e. all your money is assigned a use prior to spending.

They switched from a desktop client to a subscription-based product ($7/month). There is an app for any platform you want (iOS, Android, Web).

/r/ynab

YNAB official site

Every dollar is great too.

I still use the desktop app. I've eliminated over $15,000 in debt over the last 3-4 years and am finally debt free (outside house and cars). I actually had a surplus last month and it was the first time I didn't have some debt to put it towards, felt really good.

thanks for the info! I'll give it a gander. Bf and I already budget but looking for something else as a option as well.

YNAB is legit the best thing I've done in the last 3 years, changed my life. Also the subreddit is super helpful and positive

iSavemoney https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.colpit.diamondcoming.isavemoney

Is an excellent app I use to budget. I think I paid $2 as a one time purchase to unlock all the features. They have another app that syncs between multiple devices so you and your boyfriend could both make inputs.

I've just started using this and I'm finding the 'zero-based' nature of it slightly confusing.

So for example I've set up all my accounts in the app, but now it shows all my savings remaining as 'to be budgeted' every month. How do I work around this? Am I supposed to have a 'savings' expense category?

That's how I have mine set up. I have an "emergency savings" expense category that all of my savings goes into.

Also, the subreddit /r/ynab really helps out with a lot of the questions you might have when you first start. It took me awhile to wrap my head around the functionality and utilization of credit cards with YNAB & I found a lot of helpful info on that sub.

Thanks, I’ll set it up like that too now! Yes credit cards I also find a bit confusing. I pay them off in full every month, so I seem to just have to budget for the categories the transactions are in and then it just shows me the total payment, right?

Yes. Certain monthly payments of mine go directly onto my credit card. For example, the gym. It's $40.95 per month, so I budget 40.95 into my "gym" budget category each month. When it gets charged onto my credit card, YNAB takes that 40.95 from the "gym" category and moves it up into the "credit card" budget line. Then when you pay off the card, the amount will disappear from your checking account and the credit card budget line at the same time.

I'm pretty sure I just reiterated the links I sent previously, but that's my understanding of it now.

Great, that's how I had been using it. Thank you so much for the help!

You Need a Beer.

Tried to do it but had trouble figuring it out and sticking with it. Life has been kind of crazy the past few months but will hopefully be calming down soon. I know they have a ton of resources...when I've got more time I should really dive in and give it a go again.

[deleted]

Since no one else said it, thank you for this.

You're very welcome. Hope it helps you as much as it has me.

Yea, thanks. Just signed up for YNAB today so going to give this another go?

the only thing i ever won in life was a free copy of ynab from attending a webinar. turned out to be one of the most valuable things and changed my life for the better

They pissed me off going from one-time payment version to subscription-based. And at the time the subscription version wasn't as fully featured as the original.

I've been quasi-boycotting them since, keeping my old fully paid for version going. But I upgraded computers and lost my registration key, so either I'll have to pony up for a subscription or find something else.

100$/year to be a complicated excel sheet?

I suppose that is the surcharge for being a tech illiterate.

It's great if you have ADHD and need to make things as straightforward as possible to minimize distraction. If I used excel I would spend an hour formatting it and spend two hours on a rabbit hole learning macros, and my budget would never actually get done.

Ha! You sound exactly like me. I'll get totally fixated on exact formatting and design and spend hours uselessly.

This is exactly what would happen for me as well, lol. also an adhder

No, there's a lot of value in YNAB. It teaches, which is unusual and valuable. The app is good enough to keep people following their budget. If you think it's a glorified spreadsheet you do not understand the method. If course, once you understand you could easily use a spreadsheet, but you'd have to build and maintain it and have it work with multiple people accessing it in real time without screwing it up, and automatically import info from your bank. YNAB completely changed my financial health and had done for thousands of other people.

90% of business logic apps are "complicated excel sheets" there is a lot of value in simplifying the complex.

/s or r/iamverysmart?

Yeah, the biggest feature they offer is linking to your financial institution to automatically pull in transactions or supporting import of transactions in different formats that you can get from your financial institution. I've really really been considering building an open source alternative to this that would be free since the way they think of money is really weird to me

Or it could be for direct connection to your accounts so you don't have to manually input every transaction. Or a slick looking app that runs much better than excel on a phone. Can it be done in excel? Certainly. Is it as easy? Not at all.

this.

I have started doing it properly back in November 2017. I spent initially one Sunday downloading as many transaction as I could of from my banks. I ended going back to the starting balance of all my accounts 4 years prior.

now days, I look forward to the day after payday when I'm closing my month and downloading my transactions. my running record is holding my expenses within £10 of each other, 3 months in a row.

my method is: 1. pay into my emergency fund (about 4 months away from reaching the goal) 2. pay rent, phone bill and insurance. top up commute card 3. set myself a goal to match at the end of a month. (for example - expenditure on life less than £400 total) 4. divide remaining by number of days left until next payday. that's my daily goal not to cross. monitor daily, as the more you stay under the bigger your daily allowance for the rest of the month

this method allowed me to gather money for the holidays this year without sacrificing any other areas. it's kind of fun as it gives you daily goal to achieve.

2 areas to improve: - I spend on average £130 a month on quick lunches. I can do better by preparing them at home. - work is 10 miles away, which is doable to cycle through spring and summer. this would add another £140

I am fortunate, to have well paying jobs and not have major expenses. I paid my debt early. all this will allow to take risk professionally and try more exciting paths.

And it all started with one Sunday spent on excel spreadsheet. 7/7 would recommend doing.

What tools do you recommend? I moved out at 14 with no parents or guidance. Im 29 now and don't know what the fuck im doing.

The Government of Canada has a budget calculator on its website that exports to excel and I love it. Just google “Budget Calculator Government of Canada” and I’m sure it’ll pop up. You obviously don’t need to be Canadian or using Canadian currency for it.

Thank you very much. Have a pleasant week.

Thanks, /u/StupidfuckinglagFUCK, you too!

Wow thanks a bunch I had no idea this existed! So useful and easy to use.

You’re very welcome ☺️

It depends on what you're trying to do.

Generally, you'll want to set up your finances in a way that can grow itself, while being able to absorb any unexpected events. Do it right and you'd gain much more financial freedom.

To me, being uneducated, that sounds like a roth/ira to grow and a general savings for any unexpected events correct?

An IRA has a limit on how much you can put in, as well as limits on when you can pull it out.
Depending on your goals you can take advantage of things like general investments, certificates of deposit, and so on.

Which path you take will vary depending on time frame of when you expect returns, And how much risk you're willing to take.

I've never even heard of certificate of deposit. I'll do some googling today and get on it. I appreciate it, really.

If you'd like, I can help you out on a more personal level in private, like looking at your current financial situation and how to meet a specific goal. I've got some free time today.

For general financial stuff you can look up investopedia. It's a great resource.

Holy shit you would actually do that? Sure man, when are you available? And I will read up on that when I get to work.

All day today, on or off. Enough to respond to PMs on Reddit.

Crunching numbers can be fun for me so I really wouldn't mind giving a hand.

No guarantees though. I'm not a financial advisor. Just offering to give you a better perspective on personal finance.

Can't follow a budget if you don't have any money

I will get downmodded for this but I do a reverse budget. I first put away money from my income into a separate account. That is money put away upfront for savings. The rest is for expenses and discretionary expenditure. If you run out in advance, cut back on the discretionary spending that month.

Isn't this how a budget is supposed to work?

lol you got me there.

You're right. But in reality, most people tend to focus on tracking expenditure rather than savings. Meaning, they will spend a ton of energy tracking every single thing they spend, put it in a spreadsheet or app, track it etc. And whatever is left at the end of the month is what they designate as their savings.

I do the reverse. I first put away my savings into an untouchable account in the beginning of the month. Everything else is now my playing field. If i run out of money on the 20th, I live on ramen and rice and beans for the next 10 days.

Yep there's the "weak form" of budgeting, AKA counting your money after it's left you, and the "strong form" AKA pay yourself first, which you do. If someone is having trouble saving enough the strong form is way better but requires discipline.

... that’s still budgeting.

Budgets are cool if you can't control your spending. Once you are beyond that, its only optimization.

I've gotten food costs down with a Calorie Per Dollar study. I've gotten health insurance down by picking the minimum (max out of pocket + yearly premiums).

My biggest expenses are taxes and mortgage. Budgets and optimizations don't help with those.

If you are doing a calorie per dollar analysis you probably aren't the target market, but don't mock those taking their first steps. 90% of people don't keep household budgets and its a great first step

Can you explain the health insurance part? Are you recommending opting for the cheapest option available and paying more out of pocket if the need for a service comes up?

Yes. If you are young, healthy, no kids...the cheapest option is usually the best. I also do HSA because work matches and it's tax free...plus it is transferable, meaning I won't lose it. If I do have to go to the doctor, it's like I already have the money there. Most cheap plans will cover the total or near total of a yearly exam...you just have to watch how they bill you! You have to watch for stupid sh*t. Like, don't do the eye exam because my eye doctor will get that and you will charge me 120 to tell me to go to an eye doctor. F OFF.

Offices will do stuff, not ask you...tell you..."We're going to do this, this, and this...." You have to say no...or else you will wind up with a stupidly large bill.

Probably looks at how much he uses on average, then optimization around that. Like if you rarely go to the doctor for anything but checkups, having a high deductible and low premiums is generally better. If you end up using a lot (we hit our deductible every single year), then plan for that, and choose the plan with the cheapest deductible + premiums combined.

I think this is different for everyone, you have to do the analysis on your own exact situation.

My wife and I are on the high deductible health coverage from my employer, we have to pay $4000 out of pocket in a year, then the additional costs will be covered by the insurance.

The other coverage option I have is the low deductible, ($20 per visit?), but the premium is close to $800 more than the high deductible one.

My wife and I are young, no kids yet, have a healthy lifestyle, exercise regularly. I feel we are okay with the high deductible coverage at the moment, that’s the risk assessment I made. In the worst scenario, I’ve saved enough money to cover $4000 out of pocket cost without breaking a sweat.

I would recommend to do the following,

  1. Figure out the price differences of different plans available to you.
  2. Figure out how healthy you and your family members are.
  3. how likely you will end up with an expensive medical bill.
  4. the cost of the worst case scenario, or the maximum out of pocket expense of each plan.
  5. The medical costs of the past 3 years, use this as reference for cost projection.

The true cost of medical bill is somewhere between $0 to #4 above.

Then the questions you have to ask yourself,

  1. do the savings from cheap coverage premium justify the potential costs?
  2. Can you afford the worst case cost without breaking your financial well being?

Annual budgeting can help you pay bills and maximize your income short term, but good long term budgeting can take the short term plan and help you maximize your spending long into the future. It would be different for everyone, but for me I can plan for larger purchases, retirement, future collage contributions to my grand kids, etc.

I have been using Excel spreadsheets for my personal finances for years.

Drink more water and subscribe to r/waterniggas

came here to say this. no matter your income or situation, tracking and budgeting is always a positive

shoutout to www.ynab.com and /r/ynab which got me through some tough freelance times

/r/povertyfinance here and there are situations where sitting down to budget just makes things worse. How you might ask? When you make less than you need to afford everything, and are already mooching as much as possible, and paying your bills in order of importance until you run out. You try to fix the stressful situation by budgeting but all you manage learn from it is that you can afford rent(water included), electric, gas to get you to and from work, and maybe your cell bill. No food, no internet, no vehicle maintenance, no diapers. And yes I was in the cheapest apartments in a distant from the city suburb, had a wife who just had a baby and well the baby.

We would have been screwed if it weren't for nearby supportive family

TLDR: when you don't have enough money for the essentials, budgeting is a tool to stress you out by it's inability to help.

When you make less than you need to afford everything

yeah that's really the key. if the numbers simply don't work, then they don't work, no matter what you do.

but even then, budgeting will, at worst, surface your problem sooner than later (instead of racking up cc debt or something) and at best shine light on areas you can cut back and areas of need

i don't agree that not watching your finances like a hawk especially when things are super sensitive is better than having a budget, though

Oh we watched them like a hawk but trying to take time to make a square peg fit in a round hole is just really stressful. Instead we very carefully handled things as we could. And since we we're lucky enough to have family to mooch from we were able to avoid debt.

I am 34 and learned this last year when i came across a windfall, bought a house and really stepped in to adulthood. I am late to the game but it has taught me what i have, how it comes and goes, what i could have, what i will have, and what i need.

I was quite surprised how i wasn’t in dire straits before this. It was luck. Now I took control because life is uncertain and i need a safety net.

Good alternative if you hate budgeting but want to save and invest is "pay yourself first" - take a bit of money you know you can spare (like 10% of your take-home) and set up an auto-transfer to a savings/investing account every month.

You likely won't notice the missing money, and you can then spend whatever is left knowing you've already handled your savings goals. (then, over time, try to increase the number to 15%, then 20, etc.)

Money shouldn’t rule your life.

people make a budget so that lack of money doesn't rule your life.

well said. my budget is liberating.

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Bluecoins if you are using android. It has no feature of connecting your budgeting app with your bank account.

Problem is I never feel like I can do a budget because I can budget for everything. How do you come out of that

Budget for every possible expense. Add in an emergency savings for things that are unpredictable like if you get a flat tire or break a window or you throw a party and you couch gets burned in a fire. You'll have money put away to cover stuff like that. Then you have your discretionary spending which is fun money. You can split that into long term fun money like saving for a vacation and short term fun money like going out for dinner or drinks. The trick is keeping it broad enough to cover everything, don't get hung up on budgeting for McDonald's, buying a plant, gas down to the mile, etc. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to organize every expense, that's just fun money. When you run out of money in your fun money account, you stop having fun and watch Netflix until payday.

That's the thing is that I always get hung up I don't know how to let some things be general and some things be specific. I always feel like the label should have more specificity to it. Or I don't understand where something belongs in a certain category, if that makes sense.

Just start broad. Bills, savings, and fun money. Narrow it down further as you come to things that need more specific categories.

I'll give it a go, thanks!

This. I just tracked down a bunch of recurring charges and phantom subscriptions. The amount of money I’ve saved in the past 2 months is insane. You don’t realize how fast little charges add up. The Hiatus app helped a ton.

Once you know your recurring expenditures, create a “Bills” account at your bank. If your work does direct deposit to multiple accounts, split what you expect to pay each month into the Bills account and send the rest into your normal account. That way you’re unlikely to spend money you need for rent, and you have a clear picture of how much play money you have. From here you can divide out long term savings from your play money, but at minimum it really gives a simple picture of where you’re at and puts a barrier up to prevent spending necessary money.

Creating a budget is the easy part, sticking to it can be hard for many people

This. Dave Ramsey has some amazing advice on the subject whether or not you agree with his viewpoints on faith or not. I highly encourage everyone to attend one of his classes.

do you have any programs/apps or anything to recommend?

Two words.

Dave Ramsey

Did it for me 100%

The 50 30 20 rule works great for me!

What's this rule?

What is the 50/20/30budget rule? Senator Elizabeth Warren popularized the50/20/30 budget rule in her book “All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan.” The basic rule is to divide after-tax income, spending50% on needs and 30% on wants while allocating 20% to savings.

Thank you for explaining. I like it! I wonder where some expenses fall such as fees for kids' extracurriculars? I tend to think of them as "need".

I tried to start YNAB but I got things mixed up and became confused because my wife and I put everything on credit card. Explaining it doesn't seem like it should have confused me but something about it made me decide to give up.

Putting everything on a credit card makes budgeting with these sort of apps really difficult and confusing. My wife and I decided to just use debit cards and budget every month before the month begins, we use EveryDollar app. Since we started doing this, we paid off over $100k in student loans making us debt free, saved a down payment on a house and have a huge savings account for emergencies. Budgeting every cent of our income every month literally changed the course of my life. Highly recommend.

Utilizing a credit card with YNAB really confused me from the start too.

This article and this article helped me understand it better. And another possibly helpful article.

It easily took me a month to finally "get" it. I might just be really slow, haha. Maybe you'll give it another chance some day.

I’m a big fan of Goodbudget. Very simple tool for tracking that’s free with a phone app.

Basically you set yourself limits for each month. Every time you spend money you log it real quick. Then you have an at a glance sense of how much you’ve spent in that category so far.

It’s a little confusing at first to figure it out but worth doing. Basically just make sure you set an income and populate your budget each month using that money.

I like it a lot better than the types that track yiour spending automatically like mint. This way I’m actively engaged and checking it frequently. But by logging expenses as they cone it is quick and easy to stay on top of it. My old system was to save receipts and log them in a lump some each month which was tedious.

My employer taught me to use one of these bad boys today, now I can plan my spendings, it's so easy!

Any tools/apps you recommend to monitor my spending to help create a budget

What are some of your favorites? I’m using a travel one right now that’s customizable but would love a new one

Been using the Spendee app for this very reason, it’s been insanely helpful

Yes! Any excel-like application is all you need to make it very easy for you. If you dont want to spend money on Microsoft Office, I can recommend Google Docs (online tools for free, very decent) or OpenOffice which is a free alternative to the Office suite.

I agree. I use an app called “Budget” it helps a lot.

24 y/o who’s been an impulsive spender. I just started budgeting my expenses recently and it’s made a world of difference. The satisfaction of feeling financially safer far exceeds the satisfaction of treating myself to a bunch of beers and big dinners with friends several nights a week. I feel guilty for not doing this sooner, but I’m happy I started getting serious about this before my late 20’s. Hopefully I can keep up.

Our just die 🤷‍♂️

Any suggestions on the best resources to start a budget

Piggybacking on this a little bit: I've stopped drinking sugary drinks and eating sweets in general. Sticking to a bag of crisps a week is my treat now, and I have noticed that cravings for stuff like that are completely gone bar a few moments here and there. It also makes grocery shopping super easy. No more unhealthy stuff to take away my focus so I can shop for 3-4 days worth of food and groceries at a time without having to break the bank because of small things adding up to big sums. It's really a blessing in disguise, as I've also lost 6kg by being less unhealthy and walking to work every day (15 min each way, uphill when I walk home).

Hanksinatra what are some tools you would recommend? I'm currently trying to stick to a budget, but all I have done is download the mint app.

Any specific tool that you'd recommend?

Don't create a budget, that puts the savings at the end. Set 10% of your income to go straight to saving/investments instead and never have to worry about budgeting.

I recently read a book called the automatic millionaire and the main message was that having a budget is not the best form of going about if you are trying to save money. The book says to have deductions setup to automatically take out the money into your 401k / IRA / savings account so you only have money in your checking account that's spendable. The book also says if you have a budget, you can make a bad decision and go out to eat for the 5th time because the money is there. With the automatic deduction, the decision is out of your hand since the appropriate amount of money is already in your savings account. I guess the caveat is that you can still spend stuff on a credit card.

​

I do the automatic deductions and try to check in on my budget about once a month.

As, someone with no real strict budget. How should I go about creating one? Should I monitor my current habits and create an accurate budget of my spending as it stands right now...with no lifestyle changes? And then adjust?

Or should I start from scratch and give myself limits and just try to stick to those limits?

There's probably no correct answer, but I'm leaning towards the former.

Did this with a simple notepad about a year ago, moved the list to google keep a couple of months later. As of now, the entire list is organized into a huge google excel spreadsheet and seriously helps with not buying pointless crap.

To add to this:

Don’t be afraid to make your own tools in excel for what works for you.

As an accountant I have a strong need to set things up for how I can understand them well. I go through and make a cash flow based on my paycheck, I put estimated expenses into a joint checking and we pay all expenses from that account to track our budget vs actual, then transfer gains or losses into our savings. I update once a month.

When you get credit cards auto paying at different times, home bills, one time bonuses, etc. it can be hard to track how “well” you are actually doing at saving.

What works for me is going to be something I setup myself and a balance sheet that gets updated monthly because I’m an accountant. Mint and other apps are not giving me a good picture.

that said, what works for you might just be knowing how much you spent on certain items or how much more cash you have this month compared to last month. Or maybe you need more detail but the online apps aren’t functioning well with your accounts.

The bottom line is - it’s less about budgeting any specific way and more about learning what works for you.

I could never budget with mint or my banks classifying every little transaction into different types of spending trying to tell me what I’m doing too much or too little of. Once I made my own template and spend 20 minutes a month updating my cash balances and retirement account balances into my spreadsheet, I have a good financial summary of where I’m at, and how I compare with last month.

I recently set up a budget account for all my bills so money comes out of my wages and straight into that account. Never have to worry about bills again.

Do you have any reccomendations when it comes to online budgeting tools?

Please recommend which ones are good for Android phones?

Also, budgets don't even need to be that advanced.

As long as you have a steady income, you can do it in your head :

$X for rent, $X for bills, $X per day/week for food, and be mindful of the rest.

With this in mind, I ended up saving 2/3 of my yearly income (the amount I get after taxes) and managed to change my life and take about a year (11 months) off on a sabbatical. Although, I am working in an above median salary job (software testing).

This!

My boyfriend and I started seriously budgeting and saving for an apartment just under 2 years ago, and we are getting close to our $100k goal already!

Just understanding where your money goes, and how to combat your bad spending habits goes such a long way. I have automatic transfers set up with my bank, after I get paid, it takes out all living expenses calculated weekly, 50% for savings, and anything left in my account is my “fun money”, doesn’t include groceries, transport, savings, even a yearly gift budget, that’s all done automatically!

Any online budget-maker you recommend? Or a good app...?

What are some free tools you would recommend?

I just worry about security with my info. After Experian basically gave my info out, I tried to minimize the amount of facilities that have my personal information or are linked to my accounts.

The idea of linking everything to Mint terrifies me.

I’ve always had trouble with mint not connecting all my accounts so I just have a spreadsheet with all of my monthly expenses on and when they come out of my account then I just add up what comes out of each check and on payday I put my spend money in another account that way I know I have all my bills covered and I know how much money I have for other things I also have my direct deposit put a portion of my check in a savings account that way I save money too.

I’ve been using the stash app to invest a bit of it as well. Just setting up the budget took a huge weight off my shoulders before I had that I was constantly stressed about if I was going to have enough money to cover everything thing.

Are you in the band Hank Sinatra??

Nope. I was not even aware of their existence when I made this username.

To add to that, my wife and I have saved a lot of money by simply googling free things to do.

We’re taking our kids to 3 free Easter egg hunts. We’ve gone to a bunch of free concerts that towns and surrounding areas have put on. Only cost was the gas to get us there.

We started doing this when we found Shakespeare in the Park and have been looking for fun, free activities ever since.

Spending can be an addiction, and then it becomes not so simple. I would recommend if you notice depressive episodes when you cannot go shopping, defunately look for help.

I've been wanting to do this. Tried free trials on ynab and everydollar and used spreadsheets. I get discouraged though if I go into my (diagnosed medical phase) and go into a spending spree. When my budget gets thrown way off I tell myself "these aren't meant for people like me. I really want to use a budget though

favorite app?

What is a site/app you recommend?

Snarky, but true, comment from a friend: if you don’t know where you’re spending your money, you’re not spending it where you think you are.

r/YNAB, recommend 5000000%

I work in the trades, never stretched always stiff, a month ago I started stretching in the morning and before going to bed and it has made huge difference. Just last week I was able to touch my toes with straight legs for the first in my life.

edit: Just wanted to put out there what I meant by trades is I am a Millwright/ Wind turbine technician. Just saw a few comments that got confused with stock trades. I am no expert or any sort of athlete, but I found an very easy way to quickly stretch that worked for me. Currently at work so cant reply to everyone yet but I will go into more detail.

Response: sorry for the wait, i posted this on my way into work and didn't relies the response it would get. going through all the comments there is a lot more people qualified to answer then me but i can give you a regular basic answer: 1. Stretching at first didn't help out to much, because i wasn't flexible so it felt useless until i started warming up before i stretched which is weird because i use to think you stretched to warm up. 2. i have never done yoga but after reading the comments i might try it out. 3. it took me 1 month to go from touching my knees and hurting to freely being able to touch my toes. but it only works if you stick with it and do it everyday, which is hard because it feels like you are getting nowhere but stick with it. 4. My "Routine" i did: reach for my toes and hold, fail, 10 jumping jacks, walk around for a break, repeat this 4 times every single day! note to try and push it a little bit but not to much because you can over stretch and make thing worse. 5. It shouldn't take long to do, i never timed my stretching i just do it when i can, i lead a group of people on my site every morning for stretches, throughout the day i will reach for my toes, once i get home i do a little routine before i step into the shower. 6. if you want to do a little more, 10 jumping jacks, 10 push up, 10 sit ups, do a bunch of small stretching, take a short break, repeat 4 times, it takes 20 min and i do this before i take a shower. 7. I am no expert when it comes to stretching, just a dude who want to touch my toes

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try some yoga, 'yoga with adrienne' on youtube is good for beginners. Or just search for 'yoga stretch beginners'.

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Yoga with Adrienne means you get to see her assistant Benji, who's the cutest dog ever

Benji

The reason I can't follow her videos. I love dogs WAY more than yoga. Hah.

Haha. I am subbed to her channel because I am perpetually “about to start doing yoga”.

Occasionally i skip through her videos and look for when benji walks around. Hes a handsome devil.

Then get a dog and run with it everyday! Perfect way to get exercise.

Unlike my lazy cat who is content just sitting on me so I can't get off the couch. :D

I just started using her yoga videos. I got really excited when I saw Benji for the first time. I have an Australian Cattle Dog as well, so it made my day.

I just did a yoga with Adriene that was posted 6 years ago. Adriene introduce her dog as BLUE! Not Benji. And yes, it was definitely the same dog.

Adrienne's not so bad herself.

I googled her and don't know where to start. Also I'm vaguely annoyed at 'yoga for grief'. I can't imagine pseudo-contotionism ever helping overcome grief.

Pick a part of your body that gets sore a lot, and type it in, anything helps.

Benji is the reason I come back when I want to go away once she starts talking with her philosophical bullshit.

good thing you're so much smarter than her and can see through her philosophical bullshit 😎

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Don't click the link its a bot spamming random links with ads.

Unsung heroes

She started to really annoy me with her banter so I went to Yoga by Candace and never looked back

Agree she talks way too much it’s distracting and annoying

I had the same problem. I really like her and I am even attracted to her so I actually want to hear her talk. But, it's not what I came to the channel for.

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What's her "banter" like to make you guess that? Haha

Oh it's word itself lol. I don't know what it is, but I always associate that word with those fanbases. Probably because I am a weeb and a football fan myself...

Or British, it's a very British word too. Often shortened to bants.

Could always give DDP yoga a try. I've heard it ain't your mama's yoga.

DDP Yoga is great! Not free like Adrienne but it's a hell of a workout and his positivity is pretty infectious.

If you're tried of her, I've been watching Yoga With Tim recently doing his 30 day challenge. Very good progression and not as frilly as Adrienne can be sometimes. Highly recommend.

I just skipped through a few of her vids. Seems like she doesn't get too spiritual which means I might be able to get through them without vomiting or spraining my ocular muscles from excessive eye rolling.

She sorta does at some points, though. I still roll my eyes plenty every time I attempt to do it

Yoga is good for strength as well as stretching. You might burn off a few pounds in the process.

She's awesome man. Try that 30 day yoga journey. We didn't do it every single day, just every other day is enough.

Love the user name homie.

I like Anita Goa's yoga stuff! She's got great vinyasa routines!

Right, for some reason I never pass day 7

You're telling me you've done this more than once? Hats off to you, sir/ ma'am!

In all seriousness yeah, Ive done it several times and burned out before the first week is up.

That being said I did learn enough to adequately stretch on my own time and now I no longer need the video.

So...it worked?

I recommend her "Self Love" video to start

Thanks for the recommendation, I'll try it!

Lol I felt this to my core.

Let's do it! Actually, I already did it! I did some standing yoga stretches last night and holy shit, I just woke up and the pain I had in my knees for over a week now is gone!!! If it's because of the yoga, I don't know, but this is crazy!

It’s probably because she’s the most wholesome YouTube yoga person. I’ve tried other people but they grate me, and it doesn’t feel natural. Plus Benji is a major incentive

Yo(ga) Adrienne! 🥊

I appreciate you.

Just wanted you to know.

Yoga with Adrienne is the best! She has a video for everything

Found Adrienne 3 years ago, lost 120lbs thanks to her and a lenient low carb diet. Yoga changed my life, and the quality and availability of FREE programs that people like Adrienne put out is astounding. Couldn’t be more thankful!

Same. Her encouragement and low key routines that focus on progress not perfection kept me coming back. I am a person who is way to shy to attend a studio, but maybe I would if she was the instructor. Thankful too!

For us lazy people https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Yoga with Adrienne is my favorite instructor I've found online. She does a great job at explaining and making you feel relaxed.

My wife watches and does her yoga routines every day.

Can confirm that this is a very nice routine for beginners, she's had nothing but positive things to say about her Yoga sessions.

Edit: I forgot to mention, our two year old has gotten exceptionally good at the 'downward dog'

As someone who works out 6 days out of the week. Yoga has helped alot with my lower back pain.

I really like Sarah Beth yoga. Very good production and very clear instructions.

thanks, I haven't tried this channel, I'll check her out. For more advanced yoga I usually do '5 parks yoga'.

I’ve been enjoying her quick 10 and 15 minute yoga videos. I might expand to a longer one soon!

Definitely recommend Yoga With Adrienne. DoYogaWithMe also has some really good videos for beginners and experienced yogis alike.

Read that as ‘yoga with adrenaline’. It was a very confusing image to try make sense of.

might be too much for beginners 😋

I have chronic lower back pain from 2 herniated discs so all the yoga programs I’ve tried have been too much and they cause a lot of pain or too little so I get bored with it. Anybody know of a program that’s targeted for people in pain?

Same here. I had back surgery after 3 herniated discs. I still have chronic pain (though I can walk better).

Sorry to hear about your back issues. I’ve done a dozen or so procedures but can’t afford the surgery. I’m willing to try almost anything to take away the pain. Tried numerous yoga programs but didn’t get much relief. I’m in the process now of switching from Suboxone to Kratom because I’ve heard it helps to alleviate the pain so much. We’ll see!

I have chronic pain due to an autoimmune disease and I've recently started using the Curable app. It has education sessions on how pain works, relaxing meditations, cognitive exercises etc. I'm finding myself coping better and less stressed. Perhaps that might be a good place for you to start?

Yeah I’ve actually looked into that recently. The one thing I’ve had the hardest time with is meditation. Idk if I’m doing something wrong or what but it’s just not clicking like it should

I've never been good at meditation but these ones are easy enough. Just click to play, relax and listen. I'm giving it a month to see if it helps and it's pretty good so far. Lots of food for thought anyway.

Yoga has been so beneficial for me. It's a great way to start and end the day. I enjoy SaraBethYoga's channel because it is more focused on the actual technique and less on the mindfulness and cliche mantras that Adrienne has. Sara Beth is simple and easy and effective. Definitely worth a try.

She’s so good. I’ve never been able to touch my toes. After a few sessions of yoga, I can touch no problem. I don’t even regularly do it.

Read that as yoga with adrenaline and thought man that doesn’t sound like beginner yoga

Have you tried Adee? Just as good with less talking.

Thanks for the suggestion :)

Is there another Youtube yoga teacher you would recommend?

yep I also really like yoga with Kassandra, fightmaster yoga and 5 parks yoga (my favourite at the mo) - they have a mix of beginners and more advanced videos so they're good if you want t o take your practice further!

ive only done one video but yeah it's hers. do you recommend a specific one? im thinking of trying out DDP Yoga (came on Shark Tank if you've heard of it) but i dont know if it's on youtube. Have you seen that video of a veteran who can't walk, uses crutches, starts doing yoga, and can now walk/run just fine? That's as a result of DDP Yoga apparently, according to the Shark Tank pitch.

Well she has some videos that are specifically for beginners so I'd start with those, they're good because she gives you plenty of instructions.

I'll check out DDP Yoga, thanks for the suggestion! (hadn't heard of it before)

Pocket yoga phone app is decent.

Down Dog is a free yoga app that i use. It has helped a ton with some back amd hip issues i have.

I stopped doing yoga with her videos because she talked too much

Shes the best. I recommend her to almost evryone i know.

I like YogaTX on YouTube. They're based in Austin and videos include Jen Hilman and Cole Chance among others.

I like Yoga with Adrianna. She is my favorite. She has many routines suitable for different needs.

Did someone say yoga?

This!! I have been very stiff in my back lately and decided to finally try yoga 3 days ago. I just happened to start with Adrienne's Yoga For Beginners and it has made a huge difference in not just my stiff back but my attitude as well. I should've made this change years ago.

I adore Yoga with Adrienne! I’ve started doing yoga to her videos. It’s so nice, she seems so down-to-earth and non-judgy.

Yoga with Adrienne is where it’s at.

Yoga with Adrienne is fantastic!!! Strongly second this recommendation

Learn a Sun Salutation. A good one is 6-10 stretches that do your whole body.

For legs: Warrior, Down-Dog, Lunge. If you're at work with gross floors, you can Down-dog against a wall. Plant one foot securely, put the other foot up on something sturdy (start with something low), and lunge gently.

Be careful if you do "toe-touch". Try imagining it as "forward hang". No goals, just a nice, relaxing hang.

It's seriously underrated to just lean forward and let your legs stretch out after you've worked really hard. It's so nice.

Praise the sun!

Shut up about the sun! Shut up about the sun!

https://www.prevention.com/fitness/g20457906/12-yoga-poses-to-open-your-hips/

I've started doing these a few nights a week a couple of months ago. I haven't noticed a huge difference in day to day life, but I've always been flexible, it just feels freaking amazing to do these stretches/poses.

Also, I downloaded an interval timing app so I don't have to keep time in my head and it's a great way to end the day

I went to a doctor a wild ago because I was having back issues. One of the things he did was check my hamstrings because tight hamstrings can lead to back pain. When he had me lay down while he pulled my leg up as far as it could he thought I was joking when it stopped very early. He told me I actually have the tightest hamstrings he had ever seen and thus my high school nickname "shit hamstrings" was born.

Well that just isn’t very creative.

If you don't want to do yoga like so many are suggesting, try finding one good stretch for each muscle group in your legs. Quads, hamstrings, glutes, calves. Hold each one gently for about thirty seconds. After a week try to go through them twice, or find new stretches for each one.

Everyone is going to like different things so take the time to find what works for you.

The key is consistency rather than routine. As long as you stretch regularly, the results will come so so quickly!

I recently started stretching a few months ago, and I’m completely amazed at how much better my entire body feels.

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Why go through all that effort to suck my own dick when I can suck someone else's right now?

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Or suck someone’s dick

/r/SuddenlyGay

You don't have to get a program. For many, this institutes procrastiplanning. Just start doing stuff. Dynamic stretching is great in the morning, just start moving around. If you find a tight spot, work on it, gently at first, and start pushing the boundaries a smidge.

I've never really followed a plan or program. I'm not the most flexible guy out there, but you can always just find little ways to do things. Even if you have a tight spot, just google "loosen hamstrings" or "hamstring stretches" (or instagram, lots of stuff there, or youtube). You'll soon find ones that hit your problem areas without having to invest in a routine or program.

God, I always procrastiplan.

I see this word for the first time, but i can so relate.

Specifically for hamstrings, start on the floor with your butt on the ground and your feet straight out in front of you and your knees straight. Reach as far as you can towards your toes and, when you get to your limit, hold it for 10-30 seconds. Do this every day or so until you can touch your toes. It's a little harder for me to do that standing up, that's why I said start on the floor. If you have decent balance, you can translate this stretch to standing up right off the bat.

I love the channel YogaTX, there are all sorts of instructors and I found two that I enjoy, still getting started but its changed my life! (Two previous separate spinal injuries, still recovering from one but have never felt more loose and strong)

You watch tv in the evening? Just do hold stretch positions, nothing crazy for 30 seconds to a minute. Set up your own rotation and do it 5 times a week, with 5 different stretches. Youl have huge improvements to flexibility inside a month. Stretching doesn't need to be an hour long thing. You can take care of maintaining and improving flexibility inside 10 minutes, 3-5 times a week.

Put a small ball between your knees and try to squeeze your knees together. Keep the tension for 30 seconds and repeat. You will be able to touch your toes easily with this exercise.

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I believe it works out muscles that keep our feet square. Proper form when doing any exercise helps achieve maximum outcome. I'm no sure exactly what's happening. good luck

Agile 8 or Limber 11.

Stand with your back to the wall and stand as straight as possible 5 times a day. This helped me fix my shoulder posture

I'm gonna go against the grain here and won't recommend yoga, since there's a whole lot you can do wrong. Additionally, many issues involve weak antagonists (muscles). Not that yoga is wrong, it might just not attack your specific issue most effectively. Everyone's different and you should take in loads of info

There's a pretty good YouTube channel called athleanX that is run by a PT. It's big and a little clickbaity but well researched and presented. It's actually a rare sight in the fitness yt community to have such high quality content. Search for your problems (I know he has a vid on pelvic tilt f.e.) or vids on specific body areas. You will learn a lot.

If you need other yt recommendations message me. I've been through TONS of bullshit

Watch athlean x.

DDP Yoga is a great program. Check out some of his testimonials, amazing stuff.

took me a year or two to touch my toes, just starting with doyogawithme.com, what i learned is that every muscle i have is tight and also the ones i didnt know existed. Better to just not think about hamstrings but overall try to find something nice to do and keep the motivation doing it. And dont overdo anything, take it easily.

I was the same way. Here's a trick. Bend at the waist to touch your toes. 1. Push until you feel slight pain 2. Hold. 3. Breath in that position and relax. 4. Once you are breathing regular deep breaths exhale and move further down. 5. Repeat steps 1-4 about 3 times.

Do some research first. I have anterior pelvic tilt which causes tight hamstrings, but stretching them is the worst thing for it.

Don't do this if you have back pain seriously

Just be careful of overstretching your hamstrings. If you have anterior pelvic tilt (from sitting at a desk all day), your hamstrings will already be super stretched, which might be why they feel tight. Here’s Jeff to explain:

https://youtu.be/K-CrEi0ymMg

Meh, I'm too lazy/forgetful for a routine. Just stretch whenever/wherever you think about it.

Waiting around while pumping gas? Step on a curb and lean forward with your knee locked to stretch your calf. Putting on your socks in the morning? Try doing it on the floor without bending your knees. Sitting at the desk for a while and your neck starts aching? Just roll your head around slowly for a minute, touching your ears to your shoulders (without lifting your shoulders) or your chin to your chest.

Younger guy working at a desk most of the day, learning so much right now. Definitely going to take some preventative steps.

First and foremost: set a timer if needed to stand and or walk atleast once every hour. By far the best and most important tip I've received.

Had more than 20 or so PT sessions after having a desk job for 10 years. I had major backpain, both upper and lower. Short Hamstrings, could not touch my toes, and I've never been able to squat and keep my heels on the ground. Was also developing major psoas issues.

Those 20 sessions were basically figuring out what was wrong, practicing excercises and stretches and kick-starting recovery.

Summary after 20 sessions: don't skip core workouts and stretch. In the past years I used to work out multiple times per week. But I only did the exercises I liked. PT basically suggested some very effective core, stability and mobility exercises. And told me to stretch. I've been doing this consistently and most of my issues are gone. After 2 months I could touch my toes again. After 4 months my squat was significantly better and my tight psoas is giving me way less pain. I can again bwalk for hours without any back pain.

Excercises weren't very heavy, but very effective. For example: - Turkish get up - Kettlebell swings - Stiff legged deadlift - mountain Climbers

Sounds like a posture problem.

Your back probably isn't straight and your shoulders are most likely rolled forward.

You need to work out your buttcheeks and core muscles.

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I am no expert, but I have posture problems and tight hamstrings myself. Take it from me, stretching and working out won't help alone.

The hardest part is that you need to rid yourself of your old sitting habits and you need to start keeping your posture. Really weird at first but it gets better as your body adjusts.

stretch your back (upper and lower) first
stretch your sides after stretching your back
stretch your buttocks before stretching your groin or your hamstrings
stretch your calves before stretching your hamstrings
stretch your shins before stretching your quadriceps (if you do shin stretches)
stretch your arms before stretching your chest

This is MIT's advice, basically they go from biggest muscle to smallest, but doing this seriously made me feel better than yoga.

http://web.mit.edu/tkd/stretch/stretching_5.html

Interesting link. Thanks for sharing.

A minor point: is this really "MIT's advice," or is it just an MIT student's personal webpage? Just curious to the author's credentials.

No problem, as far as I know it's from their studies on flexibility and sports science ( I skimmed the whole thing, they make citations too).

I tend to have pain in my feet and middle back, and this routine helped that, it even gave me better posture.

Most people's hammies are not as tight as the buttocks, hip flexors, and psoas muscle. In my case those muscles, and my calves, were screaming tight and stretching those helps the hamstrings.

took me a year or two to touch my toes, just starting with doyogawithme.com, what i learned is that every muscle i have is tight and also the ones i didnt know existed. Better to just not think about hamstrings but overall try to find something nice to do and keep the motivation doing it. And dont overdo anything, take it easily.

not a pro or anything, but i play soccer and stretch before and after every game. Just do the stuff from gym class... toe touches with straight legs, those butterfly things where you put your feet together, stand up and try to hug your knee to your chest, hold some lunges. Really any stretching is better than no stretching!

Check out r/bodyweightfitness

They have an awesome community that will help you get flexy and fit using yourself and common objects around the house. There’s even a free open source app that walks you through each exercise with progression videos if you need to make anything easier or harder.

Never try right away to touch your toes make attempts reach knees then reach lower each next attempt

Spread your cheeks.

Try smooth panther on YouTube. Great routines that are good for beginners

DDP Yoga is great.

r/fitness has a number of stretching routines that work really well. Limber 11 is great and low commitment. Starting Stretching and Molding Mobility are great too.

The LA Fitness app has stretching routines. I think you might even be able to watch them if you’re not a member.

https://antranik.org/toe-touching-routine/

That's what I've been using, got to palms flat on the floor in around two weeks I think. I was missing like 20cm at first.

Have you tried stretching your hip flexors? I had tight hip flexors from sitting too much which in turn made my hams tight so I could never touch my toes, stretched them and I've become a lot more flexible since

The Nike Training Club app has some great introductory routines. They have videos showing you the moves, timers, and keeps track of your activity.

stand against the wall (butt against wall), bend over and try to touch toes. after about 2-3 min sess a day (during commercial breaks) for two weeks. I am. able to put my palms on the floor

Pinterest is great for these! I don’t find much other use for the site but if you just search ‘stretches’ or ‘yoga routines’ you should find some helpful sequences.

ROMWOD - seriously check it out it's ace. I have tight hamstrings and it's really helped!

I couldn’t do it until I started doing yoga.

I too have never been able to touch my toes, I've tried stretching and yoga, but I guess consistency is key

[Here] (http://imgur.com/a/FKCYDRb) fam.

Edit: fyi it's important to warm up before static (holding a stretch in one spot) stretching. Do some lunges or a 10 minute walk beforehand. Stretching cold increases the likelihood of injury.

Same. I can’t even lay on my back and lift my legs up while extending them all the way. They’re too stiff. I was wondering if like a massage would help loosen the tight muscles and make it easier for me to stretch. If he sends you the routine tho let me know with a reply!

Start stretching is an iOS app created by one of the friendly folks on r/bodyweightfitness and their sister sub r/flexibility. It’s nine 30 second stretches so it literally takes 10 minutes.

I read a tip on Reddit once that said that if you want to touch your toes, when you bend over, try touching your head to the floor instead of trying to touch your toes with your hands.

I haven't been able to touch my toes since I was little and got it the first try by doing this.

Do you carry a wallet in your back pocket? I have the same issue with the hip being lower on one side and moving my wallet to the front pocket has made a difference.

I was having hip pain from running too much while not lifting enough. I can't say I have APT but the video i linked below plus lifting more and easing up on the running helped me.

https://youtu.be/NG9qbvAN3gQ

For home yoga I really like the Down Dog app. Look for the app with the blue icon and a white dog's face.

​

You tell it how much time you have (I think you can go as short as 8 minutes), what level you are (beginner, etc.) and what style of yoga you want (there are little explanations of each). Then it spits out a guided practice.

​

That's all free, but then if you get the paid version (like $7 or $8 a month) one of the paid options is that you can target specific areas, so like you can target hamstrings and then it will make it a more hamstring-heavy practice.

​

I'm not affiliated with the app, I just really like it, and I'm a fellow sufferer of chronically tight hamstrings.

Record/ take a picture of yourself at your desk and talk to a physical therapist about it. They should be able to give advice for proper ergonomics. Source: partner is PT and helped with my desk/chair/comp set up

Lay on your back on the floor and put your legs up on the wall (okay if bent). This stretches only in your legs and (hopefully) not your back. Do this every day for a few minutes and you will be able to touch your toes.

Came to say almost same with yoga but I cannot recommend Sanela Yoga on YouTube. I’ve had back problems for almost ten years and daily yoga starting really gently has transformed my life and body

There is a yoga app called Downward dog that is great for yoga. You can do short 10-12 minute sessions or if you have some extra time you can build up to an hour. If you pay for the membership you can also ask them to target certain areas (hips, shoulders, etc). I dont pay for it but the app really comes in handy when I want to relax and stretch a bit after a long day.

Google egoscue method. You will thank me later.

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I had all the symptoms you named. I can now live life painfree, I have better posture and I can BREATHE freely. The exercises work, and are rather easy to do, that's a big plus, since you will need to do them everyday. Listen, I am not selling you anything here, get the book from a torrent, read it all, then buy it later when you feel appreciative! Wish you a painfree life!

Start doing quad strengthening in addition to the hamstring stretching. Your muscles are basically a series of pulleys that work against each other to keep you upright. Each muscle has an antagonist that does the opposite action when the muscle is engaged. So when your hamstrings are super tight (short and contracted), that means your quadriceps are on the other side being long and weak. Strengthen your quads and your hamstrings will have no choice but to start releasing.

The best advice I can give you for stretching is exhale as you try to extend the stretch. Once you are as far as you can go, exhale as you stretch again and you will find you can go a little further, you can breathe in without losing any ground and gain some each time you exhale. Give it a go, you'll be surprised.

PNF stretching. Google it, makes your stretching more effective. Basically just tensing the muscle while stretching.

-Elephant walk -Straight leg hamstring -Bent leg hamstring -(Advanced) Periformus -Arrow or Deep quad lunge If you have some help these are great 2 person stretches. -Pancake -Pike -Big Diamond

I'm going to tell you something really stupid right now, but it might work. Try and touch your toes. Plank for 30 seconds, then try and touch your toes again. Takes but a minute. :)

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All in good time. But it seems like you just need to move around more, as opposed to doing some very specific shit to get more flexible. Any sports that seem fun to do to you?

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I see. Guess a little stretching after lifting wouldn't hurt then. Particularly hip flexors as those get very tight when you sit all day. Look up the couch stretch.

All the stretching in the world wont help you. Of course stretching may temporarily alleviate the pain but if your muscles are imbalanced and causing this it means you have to work them out to balance them. I had a similar problem where my lats were being stretched and my shoulders were slouched forward because i was working out my chest too much. It was causing indescribable pain. The solution was to work out my back muscles. It really did help.

If you have access to a pull-up bar, something that worked for me was going from passive to an active hang.

This elongates the spine, and if done correctly, you can literally feel your lower back being released from inside your hips.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ES--j0LOtaQ

Here is a video with the specifics

Try lifting weights. A lot of that stuff will start being pulled into alignment as you develop strong, balanced musculature. I find that in the seasons of my life that I haven't lifted regularly, I have a lot more imbalance issues. It makes sense if you think about it. If the heaviest thing you lift is 40 lbs, then one muscle group being 10 lbs stronger than another is a pretty significant imbalance. If you lift 200lbs in a balanced manner, 10 lbs of difference between right and left, or front and back... that's barely anything. Find a strength coach who can show you the ropes, and stick to a really basic routine until you build a strong foundation.

/r/fitness

The sidebar/wiki there has a lot of stuff including stretching exercise routines to maintainin flexibility or increasing mobility, whatever you need. I’ve been doing some exercises based on one of the routines and it definitely makes a difference.

I used to take sports med.

Whatever you’re stretching, put it in a position it feels as though it’s being stretched, then flex. Keep flexing for ten seconds and then go a bit further. Try to get 2 or three of those in with a few seconds of relaxed rest in between

As for your hips

Find a bar or something like it that you can fit between your legs while you lay on a flat surface. Pretend like you’re riding a bicycle and stick the pole on top of one leg and below the other and “scissor” it

A foam roll and a bit of determination also goes a long way

What type of doctor did you see to diagnose you with this? I have some some similar issues

I could also use these tips. "Stretching" to me is a bit too vague as I'm a very stupid person

RomWod is also great! They have long and short length daily videos so you can decide which you have Time for.

About your hip problem, I just saw a physical therapist a couple months ago for what sounds like the same issue. Try walking in a straight line pretending to balance books on your head. If you notice the dip in your gait go away while doing this the good news is it's all in your head. I was told I was dipping one of my shoulders down while walking and it was making it feel like one leg was longer than the other. After some concious effort I've been able to correct my issue. But I am not a doctor and this was just my experience, you should see one anyways. Good luck!

Pain free by Petr Egoscue, get through book and start with the daily routine in the back. It can also help with chronic problems and I've see it work miracles

I'm an occupational therapy student, and we've been learning that anterior pelvic tilt when sitting is actually ideal. It's posterior pelvic tilt that should be worried about, as that's the stereotypical bad posture with the hunched back/slumped shoulders. Although, maybe it's possible you just have a more severe anterior pelvic tilt than ideal?

I had the same problem. I visited a specialist which gave me specific exercises, I've never been any better than now

Lay on your back and have someone slowly push your leg from the heel to your body without bending knee, was never able to touch toes either but after doing this a few times I was able to touch my toes with room to spare

Doyogawithme.com

Any yin yoga

My dad has been a chef for his entire life but he also likes to run as much as possible to avoid getting over weight. He started having issues with plantar fasciitis so now he stretches every morning before work and the improvement has been crazy

As a fellow runner, I just want to pass along a caution. There have been a number of studies that show runners who stretch (or at least, runners who don't stretch "correctly") have a much higher risk for injury than runners who don't stretch at all. The working theory behind this is that stretching allows you to hyper-extend your muscles and can cause you to land incorrectly. If that high-impact load from running isn't transferring up your foot and leg from the correct impact point, you can cause serious foot, ankle, and/or knee damage.

​

To quote the revered philosopher Woody Harrelson in the great sports movie Zombieland:

You ever seen a lion limber up before it attacks a gazelle?

Would you be able to recommend somewhere to read up on perfecting a running technique for minimal stress on the ankle, knees, hip etc? I've been a runner for over 10 years but I'm 3 years down the line from ankle surgery and I'm only now getting back into some +10km distances again. I'm trying to refine my technique with things such as a mid-foot strike, even weight distribution between the heel, ball of the big + little toes etc.

Ok, so this reply ended up being way longer than I originally planned. Sorry about that. But feel free to DM me if you want to talk more :)

I don't have a lot of "reading" resources that I could recommend on learning proper running technique. They're usually either far too broad to be of any use or so specific and technical that you end up risking even more injury by interpreting it wrong. Born To Run seems to have the best balance between breadth and specificity from what I've read. But the best resource is a grassy field, either a running coach or a video camera (or both), and your own body.

When I first started running, my coach set up a camera and had us run up and down the football field, first in shoes and then barefoot. He then played back the tape and showed up specifically how different our strides were with and without shoes. His big thing was that, by running in shoes, we basically protect our foot from feeling any pain. The problem is that pain is a good thing. Pain is what tells your body that you're doing something wrong. When we were barefoot, we would immediately (and without knowing it) change our stride based on that pain. From then on, we'd start and end every practice with barefoot runs and that's how we learned proper technique.

So in terms of a DIY way to do this, set up a camera and record yourself running barefoot in your backyard. Look for the following:

  • Run with your back straight and chest out. If you're hunched over or leaning forward, you're not evenly distributing your weight.

  • Your foot should strike underneath you and NOT in front of you. Your foot has an arch. An arch is an amazing load-bearing feat (no pun intended) of engineering. Look at all of the arches that are still standing in Greece and Rome. Use the arch of your foot to absorb your impact. If you're foot lands in front of you, you're heel-striking and that's going to kill your knees, your ankles, and your arches. Try to land as mid-foot as possible. You could try to land on the ball of your foot, but that's going to suck after a while because at that point, you're just doing calf raises for 10k.

  • Push off from the ball of your foot. A good exercise for this is running up hill. As much as it sucks, it's REALLY hard to run up hill with bad form. Get used to running up hill and you'll know what good form feels like.

  • Don't bob up and down like a cork. Your head and shoulders should stay almost perfectly level throughout your stride. If they're not, you're over-exerting yourself and something in your form is wrong.

  • Don't sway from side to side. At some point, run either towards or away from the camera for a while and make sure your head stays centered in the frame. Don't "hop" from foot to foot.

  • Aim for lots of small, quick strides. Extended strides will result in landing too far forward and you'll get hurt. Now, some people say that, to increase your speed, you should keep your cadence the same and increase your stride length. I'm from the other school of thought - keep your stride length the same and increase your cadence. It probably doesn't matter, but I'd much rather keep my form the same and just increase my pace than risk trying to change my form and getting something wrong.

Keep in mind that, if you've never run with this kind of form before, it's going to feel weird. That's a good thing. It's supposed to feel alien.

Lastly, to borrow a line from Born to Run, "If it feels like work, you're working too hard": If something hurts, you're doing it wrong. Mentally check your form to see what you're doing that's causing you pain. Don't fight through it. Pain isn't "fat leaving your body." Pain is your body telling you to cut it out. Running shouldn't hurt.

I'm so glad I kept reading this thread This comment is simply why I love reddit.

Thank you!

That’s why you stretch after exercising, not before.

its amazing what it can do, now i just have to convince my old man to start too.

The site I'm on now has a morning meeting and everyone stretches together. It's fairly popular on larger construction jobs. We also call it "stretch and flex" which is just fun to say

weird stretch but ok

I run the morning stretches on my site as well, the hardest thing is convincing everyone it is worth the small effort to do.

The safety guy on our site is fairly convincing. He's got a megaphone and doesn't hesitate to remind people that by contract he owns 15 mins

Lol we have the same thing but no one does it lol

When I started at my current company, stretching was (is) part of our morning stand up meeting and holy crap I always thought it was BS too. Now I do my best to share the miracle of stretching.

Also I can crack my neck and upper back very easily now. Both of which were constant sources of mild pain. Now if I could just figure out the lower back I would be in heaven.

Strengthen it. You most likely can't just stretch your lower back to life.

Sadly so many guys still think yoga is 'gay'. My uncle for instance is basically a broken person but there's no chance in hell he would ever do a downward dog, even though it would basically save his life.

On my boys' cross country team we did yoga every Wednesday, and at first I was like "More stretching? Don't we already do enough of that?". Boy was I wrong. Some of those exercises are the hardest calisthenics I have ever done. There is a yoga regimen for anybody.

Yeah I don’t get it. I tell people I sweat more from yoga than lifting, but they just kinda smirk. It also works everything symmetrically, so your body strengthens itself in a balanced way.

My dad’s an old salty fisherman and can barely do the positions, but even just attempting them regularly has helped him a lot.

If Hank Hill can set aside his opinions and do yoga anyone should be able to, Itellyahwhat

I call this one "fertilizing the lawn".

For real. In the same vein, anal sex with the bois aint gay, just tryna get my daily workout in.

Play him this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

Another DDP transformation vid?! Can't remember the guy's name, but I watched one before and it's one of my fave videos ever.

Well how can you expect him to not think it's gay with all of the bending over and such /s

its always the old guys that are hard to convince because they have gone so long with out it, and the feel like its a waste of time, but for 10 mins and day it can make a huge difference.

Oh man, this. When I was young and idealistic, I saw a documentary about how they exercise and stretch before work at Japanese factories and I tried to get the guys in my shop to do the same thing just for 10 minutes each morning. My boss was skeptical, because 10 minutes of people not working. He shouldn't have worried, because I couldn't get them to do it and dropped it after a week. Meanwhile, anyone older than 25 looked like shit and were always getting injuries like pulled muscles and back problems. Even the guys who worked out only worked their arms and chest, so they were always running into problems by thinking they were stronger than they really were. One guy blew his knee out taking a heavy metal display unit out of a truck. He never came back to work, a really talented structural welder on disability at 28 years old.

I am the health and safety on my site and trying to convince the guys that it will help them out in the long wrong is the hardest thing, i just keep pushing it and pushing it until they give and they never look back.

I used to often get back problems myself until I discovered working out properly will build a really strong back. Flexibility and strength really prevents a lot of injuries.

I’m in my mid-30’s and had X-rays done recently that inadvertently revealed my spine was fusing together! Despite being an athlete and benching 300lbs, I was never able to touch my toes or even touch my knees.

Two months of stretching a couple times a day and I can now stand on my porch and touch the stairs one foot lower than my feet.

It can be done! Loving my new flexibility and going for splits next

that is relieving to here, my next goals are the same!

I own a small construction business, I’m 23 and have never been able to touch my toes. I’m 6’ 1”. I can hardly sit cross legged either. I should start stretching lol. Although I used to be able to backflip on flat ground so I had some flexibility

I am 20 but feel like i have the body of my 55yo dad, but even just trying to reach for my toes every day made a big difference.

Nice! I’ll give that a go

From the perspective of a massage therapist, there are so many pains and injuries you can avoid by simply stretching. Low back pain? Usually stretching your legs out really well, including the adductors, can take a lot of pressure off your back and fix a good amount of low back/hip issues.

this is great to see, they are my top two problems that i aim to fix.

That’s been my 2019 resolution, whenever I catch myself watching TV for too long I’ll get up and do 10-15 mins of stretching.

Same here! I recently started stretching during the past couple of months and am now able to touch my toes when previously I was never able to, it's awesome

such a good feeling when you finally get the first touch.

A burning feeling haha, but good

Gotta stretch out the ol’ limbs

I never knew how gifted I was that I could do this my whole life. In high school I saw that a good chunk of people couldn't. Thought it was something everyone could do

Try "5 tibetans" exercises. These are just 5 streaching exercises, they take less than 10 minutes a day and they are amazing! Google a littli bit about experiences of other people. They really do miracles.

looks interesting, 4 of them look really useful but i dont get the 360 spinning one.

It's a bit hard to explain because these exercises come from Tibet. And like Tibet or like China or India their culture looks at these things little bit differentley. In their culture there are certain energy points on energy centers in the body. They are called Chakras or Acupuncture points. By doing certain exercises you can stimulate these points and increase energy level very rapidly. They also effect ones physical and psyhological wellbeing. Yoga works like this.

There are some scientific researches done in western universities about this that came to very intresting colclusions like that there in fact are some points on human body that conduct electrical energy better and that it seems they have elecrical field that rotates clockwise and counter clocwise. They are located exacly where Indians and Chinese say these energy poins are. Most of it unfortunatley remaing mystery for the conventional science.

By spining clocwise you stimulate one major energy center and than by doing rest of the exercises you stimulate others.

A good book to read is "The five tibetans" by Chrisopher Kilham. He is a yoga instructor and the book describes his experiencess with yoga and 5 tibetans. He says that 5 tibetans seem to have effect like doing one hour of yoga or more. This is my experience as well.

To understand more about this energy you can read a book "Miracles through Pranic healing" by Master Choa Kok Sui.

Ps. Sorry for grammar mistakes

Good for you! Get a foam roller, if you haven’t already. I have to stand for hours at my job. The foam roller totally saved my stiff neck and legs.

Man do not tell this to the no stretch morons out there who say that stretching has no benefits. I can't believe that the latest findings in sports "science" show that stretching is pointless, garbage research like this is the reason people become antivaccers.

The point of that research is to tell people to stretch correctly. So as to not injure themselves further with improper running techniques and such. You should probably learn to read a little more deeply about subjects and not just headlines.

Honestly I just heard about it on the podcast Science Friday, they had the author in of some new exercise book and she said stretching before or after exercise does nothing. I rarely get angry but it made me angry, mainly because I was stretching at the time, and I stretch almost everyday because my work is quite physical.

Yeah man don’t worry about it. It’s just bothersome that people don’t read in between the lines for research and only hear what they want.

How old are you? Just curious

Old enough to work in the trades.

Somewhere in the ballpark of 16-70.

I am 20, i use to play a lot of sports and never stretched so my body got really stiff, now i just work and try to convince all the older guys i work with to do the same.

That’s an incredible moment! Who knew it’s not just your hammies, but your back as well that needs stretching.

Stretch after work. 3 mintues of doing full range of motion in slo-mo.

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this right here is a major thing, i went through 4 years of high school, stretching every day and nothing happened, i started stretching again and in 3 weeks i made more progress then i have in 4 years, makes no sense.

This is so spot on. Stretched my whole life and even stopping for a few days now is a huge difference.

Do you warm up first? I can never be bothered with that bit

the warming up part is what made the difference for me, helped a lot.

Can you provide a routine you found success with?

check my edit i hope it helps a little, but to be honest i just made one up with stretches i felt would do the most for me.

I started stretching (yoga, aerial silks) about a year ago and I went from not being able to touch my toes to being able to do the splits! I'm so glad this comment is top because stretching has changed my life. I feel physically lighter and more nimble its incredible!

Yo! I work in the trades too and just started stretching about 6 months ago. In the shower in the morning and while making dinner everyday. I knew I had to do something when I was stiff as a board at 25. I can barely graze the top of my toes with my legs straight now, which is something I’ve never been able to do in my life. Keep it up! I just started doing yoga with my wife too. As lame as it sounds it is honestly amazing. I’d recommend adding a little yoga to the mix, even if it’s only like 15 minutes at night. It’s very calming.

i do the same thing, i am looking to get into yoga and its good to hear its worth it.

Same here! Just recently started doing 10min stretching every morning and before work. Definitely helps starts the day right!

along with this. drinking plenty of water. it feels so good.

Try this out once a day.

https://greatist.com/fitness/full-body-dynamic-warm-up

I had decided to start stretching before and after sleep as I always wake up with sore back. Glad it might work

keep with it, it can help alot when done properly.

Apart from being able to touch your toes which might be a cool thing to do I guess, what other benefits might arise?

when in an awkward position from work, less like to get injured do to the boddy being able to adjust better, or even when you sleep in an awkward position your body is more flexible and wont wake up hurting.

I have always wanted to touch my toes. Just last week I started running everyday before that I would go to touch my toes and I had about a foot gap. Now after stretching and running I’m about 3 inches away!

crazy of fast it works.

It amazing! And I am not stopping till I can touch them and go even further!

I do a simple strech to my toes when I'm in the shower daily, it's pretty relaxing :)

Guess who’s gonna try to touch her toes??? Yep, me... Good news I can still touch my toes.

Think one should do this even if you’re flexible already? Can easily touch the ground and stuff.

it can never hurt to keep the flexibility.

This, so fucking hard. I need to stretch otherwise my back just seizes up. Been slacking on it, today I woke up and needed to roll out of bed and use the edge of the bed from the floor to get up, it took me 10 minutes to get off the toilet. I'm fucking 31.

Hey man congrats

I still can't touch my toes.

I'm now stretching more or less every day for around 8 months without any chance to get my toes, help me get there

I used to not be able to touch my toes! Literally I only got to like my knees, until I fell in love with gymnastics for a year and that the story of how I am now very flexible in my back! (Never got the splits but now I can touch my toes.

It really amazes me when people can’t touch their toes. Idk it’s just always been something I could do but I’m always amazed to hear the amount who can’t. It’s not like I’m athletic either, so I guess it’s just one of those things.

I had back pain for YEARS until someone showed me a childs pose and a figure 4 hamstring stretch. Haven't woken up with a tight back ever since!

Also for people with back pain. Almost always it helps to stretch. If you're a normal, healthy person in any sitting office job and you have back pain - do stretching!

Important parts are legs and upper back. The tightened muscles and tendons are pulling the back together. This generates pain in all kind of places spine, feet, hands..

Its actually apart of our every day routine where I work is to stretch after our morning stand up (meeting) and our lunch stand up. I work in a industrial environment and trust me it helps a lot

Man oh man. I’m happy stretching is making a difference in someone else’s life. I always loved stretching and I felt like it was a very simple activity to ever be appreciated by anyone besides me.

I've been in the trades for over 30 years (commercial wallcovering installation) doctor told me for years exercising and stretching would be very beneficial to my physical and mental well being. Aleays figured my job was physical enough Been in a routine for about 3 months wish I would have listened 20 years ago. Oh well better late than never I guess

So many peiple sharing that they stretch too and it helped bla bla bla but is no ine gonna share some simple anyone can do excercises?

i updated my post so i hope it helps a little bit!

I have a physical job as well so I can confirm

This is great advice. In addition to helping your body stay spry, you can use stretching as a thing to do to mentally release and relax through the day. To paraphrase a PT I had for shoulder pain, "if you're worried about stretching too much, stretch so often that you think you're doing it too much. Then stretch 3 more times that day." Good advice.

This is a great idea. I am a machine operator and my job is very physical. I find myself getting more and more sore even though I’ve been doing it for years. I’m gonna try this out for sure.

I'm a welder, and at my new job I am the only one that stretches. Guess who's the only person who isn't constantly sore? 🙂

This is huge, I’m a Steamfitter and I’ve injured almost every joint in my body at some point because of awkward positioning and torquing, and wrenching and kneeling down...etc. I’m only 31 so it’s not too late to start, but I should have been doing all this from the beginning. Now I do rotator cuff exercises with the rubber bands morning and night. Just the other day I added in a few stretches in the morning and at night and it’s already helped. Whether you’re a Fitter, welder, millwright, boilermaker, iron worker or any other trade, you’re slowly destroying your body. So any stretching and working out will make for a much healthier retirement.

I’ve been doing mobility (flexibility + strength) now for over a year fairly regularly. The biggest benefit for me has been the quality of my sleep, which makes just about everything about being awake so much better.

If you can't see your tootsies, is it still possible to touch the tootsies?

That hard working lifestyle does that to you. Especially when you can't plan your meals & choose what you eat & only get whatever's available on the job.

Hey congrats on the progress!!

yeah when i first heard you're not supposed to stretch before working out i didnt take it seriously. but yeah its a thing. in fact after i heard it twice and started believing it i hurt my back. when i met a chiro because of the excessive pain i was in he suggested it's because i stretched without warming up. i asked him doesnt stretching warm you up and he said if the body isn't at all warmed up the stretching can be like rubber bands, where they just contract right away.

so yeah, stretching isnt the same as warming up. it apparently is a good cool down though.

They have us do this pre shift every day at work to avoid sprains and such. Healthy worker is productive.

I'm an athletic trainer and were starting to trickle more into the industrial setting for things such as injury prevention and proper biomechanics

My friend can suck his own cock

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

I cycle 22 miles a day and work a very manual job. I'm as fit as a butcher's dog. Never needed to stretch, i'd just get up and go straight at it.

Now i have flat feet. My arches collapsed and i walk like i'm wearing wooden boots. No bounce. I have to wear inserts to raise my heels so i don't damage my knees, hips and spine just by walking.

Bloody STRETCH. I'm doing it now because i have to. Wish i'd done it ten years ago. I'm 32.

I started doing this recently and my airways are so clear and my spine has never been so loose

Whats the biggest difference it has made other than granting you the ability to touch your toes? Do you feel more relaxed and rested now? Or what

Ever see a lion limber up before it hunts?

I work in the trades,

What does that mean?

They made stretching in the morning manditory at my railway job. About a month or so after could also touch toes. Much less backpain. Can't say enough about it. Really makes a difference.

I'm a tradesman as well, and turned 30 this year. I will have to take your advice, I get knots around my shoulder blades all. the. time. My back always hurts too. Stretching will probably help a ton!

I used to work at pulp mill, Stretch n’ Flex every morning for 15 minutes was a company activity. It really cut down on injuries.

I wish all trades jobs required stretching before work. I’ve been on a few that do it and understand that it actually saves the project money, and one place in particular that required a mini yoga session (PAE at McMurdo Station, Antarctica). For those of us that use our bodies like machines it’s an absolutely necessity.

Omg. How old are you? And what's your regimen?

My entire life I've struggled with this...I know what to do but I never do it.

I have found yoga instrumental in this regard!

I've never done yoga and I barely stretch, but I can I put both palms flat on the ground.

Even if you don't work on traded you will feel much better doing this

Can you perhaps share your routine with another tradesman? I'm sure and stiff too because none of these companies do stretch and flex anymore

Head shoulders knees and toes routine?

Fellow wind tech here! Hello from Canada

Man I sprained my lower back somehow and it hurts. I do all sorts of stretches but never did any that makes your back stretch. :/

This, I started simple stretching and mobility exercises on a stupid yoga mat. And the differences between being stiff and flexible is insane.

I had discomfort even while walking and it just disappeared. My back feels way better and my simple day to day job movements (industrial mechanic) feel way easier and comfortable to do.

Well, keep your eyes on the telescreen. Around 7 in the early the Ministry calls the party members to attention and we all get to touch our toes.

Be more honest, but don't be a douchebag about it.

This is a concept that escapes so many people.

It is entirely possible to be honest without being an asshole.

Oftentimes it's literally just re-ordering your words.

It’s so true. “Your project has gone to shit, and you should trash the whole thing and start over” and “I know it’s hard to hear, but I think your best bet at this point is to just trash the whole thing and start over”.

Or even, "it might be easier for you to start over and use pieces you know work from the old one." There are a million qays to re-phrase so you dont sound like a total ass. Lol

Yeah for real. I am the son of a pastor, so it might come easier to me than others though. I had an instance where a new coworker who was young and inexperienced did a terrible job on a task, and when I was asked about it I paused and said “I think he needs a better understanding of what our expectations are for him here” to which my boss said “oh wow, I’ve never heard someone say ‘he did a shitty job’ so kindly before”.

Hahaha, that's great. And when someone does a shitty job it either comes from laziness, ignorance or misunderstanding. Very rarely does it come from malice. And in those cases it's usially extremely clear.

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"I'm just being brutally honest"

"Oh, you mean like a cunt?"

Suddenly they stop liking brutal honesty.

Brutal honestly has its place, but is very rarely used properly. To me it’s a privilege someone has to earn in my life, and really only when I ask for it. Especially in areas where I need healthy criticism/feedback.

Like hey man, I need you to take a look at my resume and be honest with me. In that situation I need you to point out every flaw you see, but a hey man check out my new kicks... just say you like them! Haha

LOL. If someone asks me if they like my new kicks, you might get an, "Oh, wow, where did you get those?" And that could mean either, "Where did you get those kicks, a dumpster?" or, "Where can I get a pair like them?"

Ha ha ha I like that example and the mindset. To me it’s all about communication. If you are the person who is saying “hey I’m just telling the truth” when people constantly get offended, then you’re probably talking at them and not to them. You don’t really care how your message is received, you just care that you got to talk. Talking with someone means you are trying to give a criticism while also preserving their self worth.

That’s why I like your perspective of “earning” brutal honesty. Someone who knows you well enough will probably understand you aren’t trying to tear them down if you tell them that their resume is a hot mess and to start over. You’re only talking about a document to that person.

Like, why must you assume the worst of others and then demand others assume the worst about you by default?

I wish more people understood how rare it is to be motivated by malice. Very few people attack projects with hatred in their heart. It's just too hard to maintain that energy in the long term.

Being an angry hateful person is exhausting, man. Aint nobody got the energy for that.

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Ha ha ha ha I think I’ve adopted that without ever knowing of the term.

I couldn't remember the name of it, thank you!

I am the son of a pastor

That explains it

And the thing about your way, it gives specific criticism and ways to improve. There is value is “you’ve done a shitty job.” That only works if the person knows exactly what they’ve done wrong. I prefer your kind way, not because it’s kind but because it’s more useful. Being kind also gets you a whole lot further than being a dick. The most important part of being a manager is managing people to do what needs to be done in a way they want to do it.

That reminds me of something one of my English teachers said in high school. One of my classmates worked as a band promoter (or something similar in music).

Teacher: What do you think of X band?

Classmate: Um... I don't like them but I can see why people do.

My teacher just laughed and said that was the nicest possible way he could be told that his taste in music sucks.

Yes but by the time what I carefully thought goes out of my mouth the order gets lost and oh god oh fuck Duolingo bird is here

In the end it's saying the same thing. If you are going to get offended by that that's on you. Just say the truth without turning it into a backhanded compliment or a passive-aggressive statement.

From these comments it's obvious that a lot of people are not knowledgeable enough to understand that neither of those things is bad or even different and that they all ultimately say the same thing aka you suck... get better.

See what I did there? Just because it was worded differently doesn't mean it means anything other than idiot/stupid.

So what you're saying is that you are exactly one of the people being described here, who can't seem to understand that word choice matters and that using different words to say the exact same thing can make a big difference in the effect of your message...

What I am saying is there is no "nice" way to say it because it ultimately says the same thing. You can use the nicest words in the dictionary and it would still read as "you sucked at your job".

Instead of trying to do mental gymnastics to say the same thing then just say what you mean. You people act like you are talking to toddlers who can't differentiate between productive "negative" talk and actual asshole negative talk.

PC SJW world is reaching new heights.

You aren't in management are you?

​

There is a huge effective difference between "you did a shitty job" and "You could have done x and y better. It's best if you take a step back and approach this from a different angle."

​

One has no critical value, the other may say the same thing, but done correctly, has critical value and gives direction.

You do realize that this example has nothing to do with the previous examples right?

Previous examples were literally the same. These 2 sentences convey 2 very different points, and like you said one has critical value and one doesn't. Who would've thought that when you hand craft an "argument" it looks better.

I'm still saying "this is shit, you need to redo it", it's the same point made above, how you deliver it has huge effect. I only added the "nice" version of "this is why it's shit".

ETA: the fact that you view it as different from the above is exactly why it's effective

How hypocritical can you get?

You are literally using my argument "against" me.

The previous examples were along the lines of

"this is shit, start over" and your nice version being "start over, you can do better".

Both saying the exact same thing and neither being asshole. Meanwhile, now you crafted a useless statement that doesn't do anything other than show you are an asshole VS a normal and productive statement. That was the whole point. You can say that it's shit and you can then tell them to redo it and even tell them what they should focus on. That was the whole point that as long as it's productive it isn't asshole behavior. Just because you say "this is shit", doesn't mean that you are an asshole. Like the boss in your story said "this is a nice way to say that someone did a shitty job" in reality it's the same thing. You are still telling him he did a shit job. You didn't add anything critical or productive to it. So why are you adding it here in your second "examples". That's the most strawman argument I've ever seen. Good luck with everything but I feel like you are trying way too hard to troll and bait people. Either that or you actually believe that backpedaling and using my argument against me is smart.

I'm trying to point out that to most people, walking up to them and saying "this is shit" will make you be viewed as an asshole. Yeah, maybe I will say that joking with them after it's been addressed, maybe I would say that it was shit when venting to my wife about it later, but I would never say that to the persons face while they are knee deep in it. Why? because that would make me an asshole. It's a great way to make people completely shutdown and withdraw.

The point is to say it in such a way as to not piss the person off and if you can be constructive about it, that's even better. It's not a different statement, at the core it's still "this work is unacceptable", but I have to be able to communicate that in a way so as not to piss off an employee and to help raise the quality of their work to an acceptable level. That is significantly easier if they don't view me as the asshole who just told them their work is shit and walked away.

This is shit. Try again.

+1

Finally someone gets it.

It's not about being "nice." It's about taking into account that people make mistakes for different reasons - not just because they "suck at their job" - and spending a bit of time providing feedback that works. Different people respond to different kinds of feedback. If someone makes a mistake, there aren't just two options: fake positive negative talk and asshole negative talk. It's not a 0/1, either/or world. It's being an effective leader by finding the best way to direct someone to be better at what they do. Being good at feedback and improving performance has nothing to do with "words in the dictionary."

What good communication and leadership have to do with PC SJW world is beyond me.

Good communication?

Fake positive negative talk = / = good communication.

I love how you play it as positive vs asshole. When in reality both things mean "you sucked, do better". So yeah... if strawmanning and lack of logic is what you call "good communication", then I could see why you might think that way.

I love how you make up this asshole vs productive reply and think this applies to the examples given above. Because here there is a clear answer and a clear way to go about things. Why? Because you strawmanned the argument out of context and to suit you. Congrats.

There is a very big difference between being "an asshole" but being productive about it VS being asshole for no reason nor gain. No one is claiming the second one is ever correct in that situation. This: "your project has turned to shit. Start again and try to do better" vs "I think your project isn't going too well. You should start again and try fixing its flaws" is not the same as saying "YOU ARE TRAAAAAAAAAASH. YOUR PROJECT IS GARBAGE!" Because that's what you are trying to argue with the asshole reply. The first 2 examples both mean the same and are equal in meaning. The 3rd doesn't accomplish anything other than to show you are an ass. The argument was never about the 3rd example which you and another person tried pushing. If you want to be taken seriously then don't lie through your teeth and strawman "arguments" that simply don't exist. NO ONE here is/was or will argue that option 3 is the way to go or even remotely close to the first 2 in meaning. Good luck with everything.

I'm laughing so hard at this. An argument for being a productive asshole added to an attempt to explain how logic works. What a treat.

While I don't think Joe Rogan deserves all of the hype he gets for his podcasts, this is one thing he excels at. The way he told Brendan shaub, one of his best friends what he thought about his MMA career was perfect. He basically said in the nicest way that he would never be the best in his weight class, which I believe led to Brendan retiring and focusing more on other ventures such as his own podcast, and he is now thriving.

Sometimes tough love makes the most impact.

Emphasis on the love part.

Though some of the things you say may be hard to hear, (no matter how well you are able to order your words and thoughts) it is still important to impart upon the person that you are being honest with them because you care and want to help them be or do the best they can.

If my mom tells me she's worried about my health vs a stranger telling me I'm fat, who do you think is going to have a more positive impact on my life? Lol

I usually use "I wonder if..." I find people naturally get defensive (even subconsciously) when given advice. Using this phrasing is like floating a life raft out there for people to grab onto. A lot of times they don't want to admit what needs to be done, but they're grateful if someone else creates the possibility for them to grab onto.

Another good point. I believe the main goal is to try to get the person out of the emotional space of being criticized and into the constructive space of taking criticism.

Asking questions related to what you like as well as what you don't like is also another way to float out a life raft.

Pieces of it, Sir?

Yes, pieces Smith. But Very, very... very small pieces of it.

Lol

Hey, small pieces of aything is still more than nothing at all.

Oh yeah, save some some aspects. Like, you can use exactly the same HR rep who processed you into our company... to process you out.

After given a fair chance, sometimes you just gotta scrap the whole employee. Someone can be totally competent at their job but if they don't fit well with their managers or co-workers something's gotta be done. Same goes for being totally incompetent at their job but fits well with everyone.

And by process you out... I mean HR will process you into sausages for our cafeteria, Smith. You will no longer tax this small planet with your mediocrity. Your nutrients will make the remaining employees stronger and that is the only way you can even begin to pay back this company.

Some people are just spare parts.

“I know it’s hard to hear, but I think your best bet at this point is to just trash the whole thing and start over”.

You would think, but some mothers just can't take someone criticizing their kid's behavior.

Took a hot sec. but I got it and loled.

Yeah but I mean Cartman’s mom got 40th trimester abortions legalized, so it is still genuine criticism.

That didn't feel like much of an improvement and there in lies the problem with this method. Probably felt nicer to you, but still felt sort of harsh. So no matter how nice/honest you're trying to be, it can still go sideways pretty quick.

Best bet is just to avoid everyone altogether /s

Ha ha ha yeah I’m saving up for my own private island. Only 400 years to go till I don’t have to see people anymore! 600 if I want it between the tropical latitudes.

I also have the advantage of being a tall unassuming guy with blue eyes and I really feel like I can get away with saying things in a charming way and it being fine, where as if someone else said it, it might come across as being a jerk.

:D This is gorgeous. I can really relate to this use of phrase.

When i give advice i often try to phrase it like Bender from Futurama. "Have you ever thought of turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"

Phrase it in a way that's scathing and funny but makes a point.

The big difference there is that the second one is acknowledging the other person as a person, and not simply the source of the suck.

Always try to aim away from the other person.

"This project has gone to shit" is a lot easier to accept than "Your project has gone to shit".

and never "Your dildo" always "A dildo"

another example, "Yeah, Fuck you!" vs "You fuck, yeah!"

Maybe "Sometimes the most opportune path to success involves taking a step back, breathing, and burning your fucking piece of trash project to the ground"

I think it's a matter of preference. I know I'm in the minority, but I would prefer someone break the news to me the first way. I don't give a fuck if you think it's hard to hear, if you talk to me like that, I immediately think you're being disingenuous.

[deleted]

Exactly. It starts with a fundamental understanding thay everyone is different, everyone works differently, everyone converses, understands, speaks, emphasizes differently and because of that everyone requires a lottle bit of a different approach.

I know people that would still freak out and think that's talking shit.

I would actually prefer to hear the first thing. The second one just sounds condescending.

And here you have identified a major reason why this can be really hard. Everyone hears things differently, or understands things differently.

I'm the type that would rather hear bluntly what is wrong, and then more details or suggestions on how to fix it.

This approach, however, could be soul crushing or overbearing to others.

Edit: a word

Good point. A little trick my mom taught me is to complement aspects of people, instead of the whole thing and ending up telling a lie. For example, if you don't like the colour of someone's dress but you like the model, you can say, "why, that fit really suits you." Oftentimes it's even more valuable to be specific, because it shows you pay attention and don't just give compliments for the sake of it.

This is me every time someone shows me a baby. I try to find one nice thing I can say about them vs just saying "oh, it's... sure alive, isn't it." Saying "Oh, those itty bitty shoes, so cute!" or something comes across a lot better.

I think the difference between honesty and being a douchebag can be found by asking one simple question: DID ANYONE ASK YOU?

If they did, feel free to go ahead and lay down your truth in the best way you can.

If they didn't and you just walk around telling people shit they don't want or need to hear, even if they're true, you're still an asshole.

YES.

UNWANTED HELP IS STILL UNWANTED.

This is a lesson I am still learning. "I just want to help," is going to be on my goddamned gravestone. Not everyone wants my help, just gotta let them to them. I'll still offer, but then back off if they decline.

Or your tone of voice

Part of the reason sarcasm is totally lost in text communication.

'I just say what I mean and what everyone else is thinking' - I literally don't stop to think about what I'm saying ever.

You can interact with people the way Gordon Ramsey interacts with his kitchen staff, or the way Bob Ross interacts with his viewers. You can say literally the same things as either person, but word use, tone, and empathy can mean everything to a conversation. Even a tough one.

I’m unintentionally brutally honest. Most people think i’m being a dick when I talk but I can’t discern from annoying and not annoying. I don’t have enough social experience.

It could also be a case of your own perception on hearing/being told things, as in, it could be harder for you to be offended or hurt by others 'honesty' brutal or not.

I could totally see how it's hard to figure a way to phrase things in a way that isn't rude if your social sense of what constitutes rude is a bit clouded.

I like to think of the situation as though I were talking to my grandmother or a young child. Respectful, not condescending, but still truthful. If someone asks your opinion on something they have done, for example, I'll always start with what I liked, with what I see that they did right. Followed up with something I think could use work (in a productive/constructive way) and then ending with something that helps them get a start with moving towards bettering their work. (Compliment>criticism>constrictive motivation)

I prefer this to a 'compliment sandwitch' (compliment>criticism>compliment) because without offering them an approach to better their work you can come across as judgemental. I.e. "I have no idea how to make this better but it sucks" vs "this part is great, truly aqesome, but this part kinda sucks but if you do A, B, and/or C I think it could solve some of these problems."

Everyone loves to be praised, but constructive criticism when delivered and taken in just the right way is so much more important.

Damn, this is really good advice. I’ll try to use this in my conversations!

I think my conversational skills being less than adequate are from years of quick and concise talks with really any of my family members. We always get straight to the point and most of us are antisocial, making us want to cut conversations short. I also isolated myself for half my life so I know that doesn’t help.

I’ve been making lots of efforts to better myself but damn it was frustrating when I was told my parents were sent emails about me being rude or condescending.

Happy to help!

It also helps, if you know you are going to be interacting with the same people, to mention to them that you don't mean to be rude or condescending.

Or if you're talking to anyone and you're having a hard time putting together a thought in a way that won't come across as rude (or that you are afraid it might come across as rude), say that. "I'm having a hard time finding the right words, because I don't want to come across as rude. The gist of what I want to get across is ______." Or better yet bounce what you want to say off of someone else who has a higher social understanding that you.

IMHO It's way better than "don't take this the wrong way but...." that is way too reminiscent of "no offence but..." where you've just set the person up be be disproportionately offended.

If the person you are talking to understands that it isn't your intention to be mean they are much more likely to give allowances for less-than-optimal delivery.

110% communication. Showing vulnerability is the fastest way to help people lower their guard. Think about animals, you don't walk up to a dog you don't know all willy-nilly, you approach in a friendly manner, you talk with the owner, you let the dog sniff and inspect you, you leave yourself open and vulnerable (to an extent) to be deemed unthreatening.

Good luck with everything!

Yeah! I figured it out couple of months ago...Hard shit

It wouldn't be something that belongs on this post of it was easy and/or everyone got it straight out.

I think the hardest part of it is consistently being aware of how you 'sound' to others. Like, it's the difference between telling someone "I hate you" after they sneakily did something nice for you and telling someone "You're just great" after they cut you off driving. Context, tone, language, all influenced by relationship and situation. Lotsa balls in the air but it does get so mich easier with practice (and lots of deep breaths).

That being said, some people will still actively go out of their way to be upset or offended. It's a wicked world thay we live in.

[Shrugs in 'oh well']

Yeah true. It's such an important skill for me..because i can talk about problems the way they are, but no one's feelings get hurt along the way. It has helped me with my relationships.

Suuper important for relarionships. Especially when talking about feelings!

Yeah, it has to work on both sides

True and for some even just seeing the effort of their partner is enough to compel them to put in more effort too.

I always heard "Be honest, be blunt, be kind"

Maybe "be honest, be concise, be kind," would be a little more universally applicable.

Blunt doesn't work for so many people, many have a very fragile self-esteem or may be struggling with other things that does not mesh well with bluntness.

Don't get me wrong, in my perfect world I could be blissfully blunt with everyone about everything. In reality, however, I know many who do not not benefit from bluntness.

I guess I always consider that with breakups, because it helps with closure and prevents false hope, but that doesn't always work with other situations

It definitely depends.

It always depends. Lol

I quit my hosting job on the second day because the host lead would say things in the most asshole way possible. I wish she had read this. It was my second day and I wanted to be a great employee

I think all managers or those in managerial positions need to take a course on social intelligence. I've lost jobs because my manager was a shite communicator. Big o o f

And no one is honest about positive things. I like to go out of my way to be actively, specifically honest to strangers or friends about the good things that I think of them. You'd be surprised how many awesome people have just never heard how awesome they are.

Oh, man, you are so right.

Genuinely letting someone know about something they did or are or influenced that you adore is invaluable.

Always make your counterpoint about the "thing" and not personal.

Oh totally, it is suuper important to keep the personal/emotional out of the conversation.

By trade I'm an art director. You have to have a thick sign to do corporate design.

And it's crazy the different responses you'll get. If the only difference is, "the design doesn't work, it's not what the client asked for" to "your design doesn't work, you didn't follow the guidelines".

I was an art director working on big pharma ads, I understand.

I don't relate, I'm rather passive. But I think it's juat easier to be an asshole and get the point across because if its the truth whether or not delivered appropriately doesn't take away from it's truthfulness. I think sugar coating it get's no one anywhere and more people appreciate an asshole while still hating him.

It's totally easier to be an asshole, don't get me wrong. Being consoderate and understanding takes a lot of work. Way more for some, way less for others.

It's just my opinion that sometimes it's worth the effort. I think even of someone apprecieates an asshole that they'd rather get their feedback from someone who is less likely to make them feel like shite while still being constructive and honest.

Sugar coating is a corrupted phrase imho. It implies that the true intent is hidden or masked by sweet words. That isn't what I mean to suggest. I mean more that with some thought criticism doesnt have to be a painful or pointedly hurtful process.

The two options aren't 1. Be an asshole or 2. Be the nicest person and overlook all wrongdoing and only compliment them. There is a happy medium and that shifts depending on the subject, the person, and about a billion other factors.

There's a difference between: "This is a bad idea" and "You're a retard".

Then you meet people where no matter how nicely you try to express yourself, they still take it personally. I do believe this is great advice, but I would add that if they still get upset or take it personally, just let it go.

This too. It takes all kinds, and some of those kinds just fundamentally will not meah with your kind. Learning that not everyone must get along let alone like you is extremely important.

It's also acceptable in many circumstances to just say nothing.

There is lots of value in kmowing when to keep your mouth shut.

Someone once told me that your thoughts should go through three gates before they come out your mouth: is it true, is it helpful, is it kind? If you get all three then you speak.

I like that. Sometimes kindness takes a back seat for me, but those times are emergencies.

Sometimes it involves making it clear that your offering criticism and not attacking the person. But I agree, too many people think being inflammatory and rude is the same thing as being honest

Very true on all accounts. 👍

I'm going through that with my kids right now.

When--for example--my daughter yells at her brother "Get away from me, you stink!" I try to ask "Hey, how could you have phrased that that would solve the problem and not be bitchy?"

"I guess I could have said, 'Hey, you might want to go take a shower before bed.'"

"That would work."

You're right, it's just figuring out how to couch your words a little more gently than you might do on first instinct.

A+ for you. It's a wonderful tool to learn at a young age.

The saying in my family, when someone's said something that comes across as mean or rude is "could you have said that nicer?" Easiest way to let someone know, without being argumentative or contrary, that they're being kind of an insesnitive dick.

The best way to criticize someone is make a compliment sandwich. Something you like about them, something they need to work on, something you like about them. If they don't respond to corrections with that, you have to remove the compliments.

In another reply I mentioned that I prefer a compliment>criticism>constructive motivation "parfait" over a compliment sandwitch. Thay it helps direct energy towards solving the issues and away from highlighting what the person did wrong.

It also can help the person feel more respected by the level of interest you have taken as opposed to judged.

Sometime people cant handle honestly...... Sad but true.

You're not wrong, but for most people I'd say it's more a matter of how you are honest with them.

If I tell my boyfriend that he's fat and lazy vs I let him know I'm concerned for his health one of those is constructive amd one of those is needlessly mean.

Yes i know but I've seen people get mad at the second one... Crazy.

You win some you lose some, the important part is trying in these cases. At the very minimum ot can help you weed out the people in yoir lofe who don't mesh with how you want to be.

Honesty is good. Using it as an excuse to insult others is bad.

How do you ever really know that they're trying to insult others' though? Sometimes person A might say something without ill intent to person B, who perceives it as an insult. I know I've been both people there. (Easy example, on Reddit here it's hard to convey sarcasm, which leads to ambiguity)

You can never truly know another person's intent. This is what really agitates me about the way people attack each other so quickly.

It's a lot like defensive driving, if you let those around you know of your intent, clearly, then they are much less likely to spin off into an irratic and unreasonable rage.

If I preface something by first explaining why I'm bringing it up, or the ultimate goal of the conversation it could help some feel more comfortable. However others may see it as condescending.

The best we can do is try.

It's prefacing or postfacing (is that a word?) that makes all the difference in not coming off as an asshole, and it's this that people need to be aware of. Saying 'You look ridiculous in that.' comes off as insulting. Adding 'Look. I hate to say it, but you look ridiculous in that.' or 'You look ridiculous in that... sorry to be so blunt.' makes all the difference.

Postfacing your honesty is an important thing to be aware of. The impulsive among us can be rather blunt in their honesty, and then get defensive if said bluntness gets called out, which leads to comments like 'What? I'm just being honest.' If you realise what you've said may come off as insulting after the fact, then at least apologise for it without desperately backtracking or being passive aggressive.

Eh, I feel like people often trap you with questions where your options are either to lie or be a douchebag.

There is no nice way to answer when someone asks you out on a date and your not interested without being dishonest.

How about "Im flattered but i have to decline."

Why?

You don’t owe them an explanation for anything. Even saying “I’m just not interested” is sufficient and not rude in my eyes.

If they hear that and choose to be insulted that’s on them, and the reason why at that point is none of their damn business.

I agree but of the 3 or 4 women that I have sexually/romantically rejected in my life 2 of them have taken it very poorly. Usually asking me out repetitively until I say something mean.

And you are right there is a big difference between being a douche bag and someone having their feelings hurt

See though I'd argue that if someone is pursuing you that aggressively when you have repeatedly turned them down? You can be rude, at that point. They're being exceedingly rude. I start nice - if someone just will not stop, though, they've earned it when I get cranky with them.

We not vibe'n out here

I usually say something like "I don't feel that we have any chemistry" which some women take as I hope you get hit by lightning.

Don't make yourself responsible for other peoples insecurities. If you're honest and objective there is no reason a mature person should feel offended. Maybe dissapointet but nothing more.

Keeping the truth to yourself is not a lie.

Lying by omission, also known as a continuing misrepresentation or quote mining, occurs when an important fact is left out in order to foster a misconception. Lying by omission includes the failure to correct pre-existing misconceptions. For example, when the seller of a car declares it has been serviced regularly but does not mention that a fault was reported during the last service, the seller lies by omission. It can be compared to dissimulation. An omission is when a person tells most of the truth, but leaves out a few key facts that therefore completely change the story.

One of The narcissist's favourite pry tools.

Also called “paltering”.

I would consider that being dishonest. Telling the wife you only had 3 drinks at happy hour but failing to mention that they were double-tall crown and cokes is not being honest.

I use the saying “keeping the truth to yourself is not a lie” for instances where no one asked a question or no one wanted to know something yet you would blurt out the truth anyway.

Telling someone you don’t like their outfit, while it may be the truth, is uneccesary.

I feel like your very own incantation of this saying is a way of telling a lie; you didn't clarify the obvious misconception that most people reading your post would have.

Additionally, why the fuck would you care about someone's outfit? The real problem here is that you're lying to yourself about how many fucks you should give about insignificant concepts based entirely in traditional dogma.

r/iamverysmart

It’s just an example of a situation where telling the truth, as you see it, is unnecessary. I couldn’t care less about someone’s outfit, but the example conveys what I’m trying to express as “not being a douchebag about being honest”.

The ultimate knee-jerk defense, our almighty oh-shit handle: /r/iamverysmart

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I can't help but feel your brother must've said it in a jestful or jovial way?

Douche bag move for a christmas though and harsh lol!

[deleted]

Can't be helped sometimes in that case, just got to figure out whether someone is saying something with real venom or not

Well bro, you said this Christmas so i hope you're still on the train of losing weight and steps to being healthier, get after it and stay positive random stranger!

My bro is like that about stuff I'm doing. In short, not a 6-pack who wear a suit to work = failure.

Dunno man that kind of rhetoric sounds dangerously close to fightin words.

"Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip." - Winston Churchill

Sage advise from /u/PMmeYOURtitsFORmemes

Username checks out

A good rule of thumb is that if you are being honest about something, try to formulate it without the words 'you' or 'your'. You can probably get the exact same point over without it feeling as personal and making the recipient defensive.

Or atleast don't lie

I can't do this. I'm honest but I ocme off as an asshole. Eventually got tired and said fuck it. Don't say anything at all

The biggest trick there seems to be: you don’t need permission to be honest and authentic about yourself, but you should ask others if they want to hear whether you should be honest with them about them.

A manager I used to work under who I quote often used to say, "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean."

My wife always tells me "You Americans, get straight to the point. We don't do that here. You need to learn to beat around the bush a little".

I try to no be a douchebag but, I've learned Americans are much more direct.

I'm so curious now, where is your wife from?

Tunisia. That's where we currently live.

She should meet Russians. They're a very blunt people.

ur wife is correct

i can approve that's Tunisian's logic.

I struggle with this constantly

I can be brutally honest, and im a total douche about it.. how can i change it? I'm that person that no one likes.. and i want to be a likeable (potentially loveable) person.

Google radical candor.

Well, too late for me.

Or how to become a successful middle manager in manufacturing...

People who are brutally honest are usually more concerned with the brutality than the honesty.

So honesty is best served empathetically. Would you wish to be told X thing in the long run? And in what way would you want said news to be delivered to lighten whatever blow concerned?

I hate it when people say "at least I'm honest," after saying a totally rude, uncalled for statement about whatever.

Yeah, you can be honest, but being honest doesn't give you an excuse to be an asshole as well.

Absolutely this. I made this a conscious effort a long time ago. My rule is "always be honest unless it harms someone". I've found that it's really helped me build relationships because people can trust me. It's also made me more accountable to myself. It's made me a lot more confident and is one of the most positive changes I've ever made.

Isn't being a douchebag about 'honestly' just being abrasive?

Yeah rule number 3 (for me) is “honesty always, except for sometimes” it’s simple and kind of contradicting but I think it makes sense.

The book "Radical Candor" is great for this

I like to think of it as wrapping the brick of truth in a delightful box. Just because a truth is difficult, doesn't mean you can't present it in such a way that it will be accepted and welcomed into their life.

Alternative analogy: a truthbomb needs a delivery mechanism, or it won't reach its target. Your explosive won't get past the reinforced concrete of ego without a good sabot.

This is one thing I've been actively trying to do for the past five years now, and it has been depressingly exhausting.

Being more transparent, coming clean on major lies I've told to my parents, letting go of my immediate need for privacy, informing folks of my intentions well in advance, thinking the best of others, truly believing people are being honest with me, speaking what I honestly feel while being tactful, all while never asking for the same transparency in return and all I've gotten from it are accusations of dishonesty and being labelled a 'liar' by my nearest and dearest.

It's not that big a deal, I've learnt to shrug it off and try to live by my principles to be a better person, I just wish it wasn't so emotionally tiring.

“What? I’m just being honest?”

Right. You are JUST being honest. Not empathetic, or kind, or compassionate. JUST honest.

At work currently I have two people talking smack about each other to me. One of them asked me if the other was saying anything bad towards him. I didnt say yes or no, I told him he was talking to me about work. (Which he was) Sometimes you can hid the truth with another truth and save yourself from getting in the middle of something.

r/technicallythetruth

FaCTs dON’t carE ABoUt yoUR FEeliNGs

A phrase most associated with people who are highly emotional and easily trounced by facts.

No listen ok, 13% of the population

Gonna assume you're being funny.

Aw, you suck. thumbs me down

This is so damn true. The road to self realisation starts with this.

This is typically how I live. But I tried to do that with a coworker and although I was gentle and felt (and still feel) justified, I should have considered their anticipated response more. It all but ruined the friendship, which I suppose wasn't much of a friendship to start with. So I'd just say be honest, be gentle, but be prepared for the opposite reaction than what you want.

Honesty without compassion is cruelty.

Say what you mean. Don’t be mean when you say it.

So don't be honest..?

For some people, the cruelty is the point

Still working on this balance.

"Honesty without tact is cruelty"

Honestly without empathy is cruelty

Basically; Tell the Truth, or at least don't lie.

I’ve been being a lot more honest lately and saying what’s on my mind when it comes to issues in my life. I’ve gotten a lot more respect than usual.

If you’d rather tell someone that they are skinny even though they’re fat you’re the asshole lying is never okay.

Praise specifically, criticize generally

Oh so you watched 'The invention of Lying' eh?

r/rimjob_steve

One of my all time favorite quotes is "Love without truth is hypocrisy, truth without love is cruelty" that balance of being honest but not a douchebag is what is all about

I always follow the "if you tell something bad then it's best to just shut up" rule but it depends how bad is 'bad'.

“I keeps it real”

Be willing to give genuine apologies when you are wrong. No excuses, no justifications, just, "I screwed up by doing X, I see now that it (affected you this way). I should have done Y. I'm sorry."

This shows that you have thought about it from their perspective, care how they feel, and want to do better by them. Apologies that start with justifications or excuses often feel hollow to the recipient.

So many people have no idea how to apologize properly. Apologies that start with justifications are a non-apology.

A proper apology like you outlined goes a long way towards healthy relationships.

I always put effort in not saying sorry. To me, saying sorry is just to easy. Often people feel like saying sorry is enough. I do agree with explaining how you see you were wrong.

By not jumping to sorry it forces me to realy adress the issue. Think about it. And eventualy realy feel sorry. But to the person you have hurt saying sorry makes no difference. You have to understand what went wrong. And when you do. No 'sorry' is needed.

Me too. I prefer explanations + sorry to just sorry everytime. I don't understand how saying sorry is enough, I want to know why you did it.

No sorry needed? Not sure I agree with that. But as long as you address the behavior I guess it’s better than not acknowledging anything.

Like the literal word is not necessary, you’ll show that you are through the other words you use. Obviously you can use it but it can be said in different ways with that explanation and acknowledgement

Point taken, but I don’t think I need to fully agree with or adopt the offended party’s position to apologize.

Sometimes the honest, adult thing to do is to admit that you don’t think someone is interpreting or reacting fairly, but to make it clear that you regret wronging them.

Any apology that ends with "but"....

I don't think my mom ever apologized to me once in my life without ending it with "but". I used to dread her apologies. She was good about coming to apologize about losing her cool or whatever. But literally without fail her apology would be followed up with "but" and an excuse for her behavior based on my failure with my behavior, leaving me feeling worse than if she had just skipped the whole apology to begin with. 🙄

Those are the worst!

I call these "apology butts". If your apology ends with a 'but' (ex: Im sorry but), then its not a real apology but instead a segue into why the other person is wrong.

See also: I’m sorry you feel that way.

Addendum to apologizing correctly: you can say you feel bad but don’t stress your own negative feelings. I have had many experiences where it feels like their apology shifts the focus to them and how they feel, putting the burden on the person they’re apologizing to to make them feel better.

I think at the same time, the other person needs to be willing to give them time. Sometimes it takes people time to really think about what happened and be sorry. Expecting an apology 2 seconds later can just get you an empty apology.

Also - when you to give an apology, the other person doesn't have to accept it. They can say thank you, but they don't have to say I accept your apology

I would say yes but in certain situations.

Like I can think of a few times where it would be more helpful if I gave the person the reason instead of just saying "I'm sorry and it won't happen again."

This is excellent advice, but if you do follow it, mean it. Nothing worse than when someone makes a mistake, says they will do better next time, and then makes the same mistake next week. Seems very disingenuous.

Add onto this, if someone truly apologizes and understands they have screwed up, don't be a sniding little bitch and degrade then lower. If they made a small mistake for the first few times, remind them not to do that again or try to understand what went wrong. Help them not make those mistakes again, not belittle them.

If the apologizer understands they have messed up, they will take your words to their heart and try to not make those mistakes again. Learn to accept apologies professionally and compassionately. You can criticize their mistake and point them out, not for degradation, but to help them improve

This! A proper apology will make you a better person

And further: I will be doing (trying) Z to prevent this in the future (or to fix).

It took me a while to learn this. This is how you keep close friends. People who care about you are already going to know what you did and why. They just want to hear the truth from you.

It also gains more trust through them because you OWNED your mistake instead of trying to disperse the blame or play it off

I have so many different bosses that absolutely miss me because I would simply say “I fucked up” tell them how I fucked it up and how I’m going to make sure not to fuck it up in the future

Just saying I fucked up like it doesn’t matter and oh well isn’t good enough either

I would have to politely disagree. It’s not that simple. A LOT of people can’t handle just apologies without excuses or justifications. You could strain your relationship or lose your job if you just claim responsibility as everything can be potentially one’s own mistake.

Hollywood has gotten into my head. Often when I hear a genuine, well thought out apology my knee-jerk reaction is “oh they’re just trying to save their career/social status/etc. “

Which is silly because these celebrities are usually grovelling for forgiveness over things that are so irrelevant. People are just power hungry

"When you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically." - Dale Carnegie

This - but a problem arises, at least for me, when you do it too often. I think to myself, that I come of as insincere, since I recall the other times I apologized in the same manner, which kinda makes it seem as a formula rather than an genuine apology. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know.

If you ‘do it too often’, it sounds as though perhaps your actions have not changed? If you apologize but make no effort to change the behavior, it is an insincere apology. Actions vs words and so on..

You sure are right my friend, I completely agree with you. But for my individual instance, please let me clarify: when I say ‘often’ I mean with different people, and with months passing in between. And the issue at hand is almost never the same - and I say almost never, because I ain’t no saint, and I have definitely done the same wrong more than once. But other then that, it might just be my awareness about addressing/ accepting my wrong doing in this manner, which I strive hard to keep by, that makes me self conscious about it.

I wish a particular customer of mine would read this and take it to heart. He screws up often to such a degree that my work for him is seldomly enjoyable but when he apologizes it sounds so insincere that it would be better if he didn't apologize at all.

Yeah, this is by far the hardest pill I have to swallow. Parents were both PA and almost never apologized for their actions, so I'm learning this as an adult.

This happened to me at 2 am this am when a friend texted me to vent she was upset by something I did a month ago. After initially being annoyed, I couldn't sleep, thought about it, and she was totally right. I apologized 10 minutes later and into the next day. We don't always see eye to eye but when I genuinely fuck up like I did, apologies are in order. It's not easy for me. Is it for anyone? But it's important.

What I find difficult is the excuse-vs-explanation debate. I don't deny I did something wrong, but I do want to explain what happened so that the other person knows both sides. Still, if not done right I feel like people can see that as an excuse. Bothers me.

This sounds hard, so it's a good thing I'm never wrong.

And on the flip side...be willing to ACCEPT an apology. My wife and have been thru this several times. I screw up (not often and certainly never anything serious). I apologize. Her go-to is "why should I accept your apology when you will just do it again?"

Point is valid. But also.... Guess who is now less apt TO apologize. It's a tricky give and take and we work it out... But my point is accurate. Accepting it tactfully would help too.

Uh, no, the point of apologizing isn't to get the other person to accept the apology. The point of apologizing is to recognize what you did wrong and accept the consequences of what you did. The other person gets to decide what to do with the apology. Though, in this particular case, her response isn't very helpful, I'll give you that.

But if he is apologizing for the same thing over and over with no behavior change, she’s correct in feeling that the apology is lip service. It may be time to sit down and decide if that one thing is actually important in the grand scheme of things. She either needs to admit that it’s not so he doesn’t have to apologize for something that has low to no impact on their relationship, or she needs to explain why it is important to her/them and he can decide if that’s worth changing the behavior.

that's the problem for me. everyone judges me for a wrong fucking answer, even if I say its wrong too.

Saved. Thanks!

just started doing this after cutting certain people off from an extremely toxic and manipulative relationship. it's changed my life for the better and i now have these people back

i don’t think about it from their perspective, but I just say this to sound like i’m sorry and that i know i fucked up when i did. most the time whatever I did was not out of pocket and the person mad at me is a pussy though.

What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.

Cool.

I’ve maxed out the number of times I can say sorry to my grandma, and she loathes it.

Learning to accept when you are wrong actually feels great and has helped me with every relationship in my life!

I don’t agree entirely. People are entitled to different opinions and world views. Sometimes the response to feeing annoyed is to understand the other persons point of view and get over it.

And sometimes “I feel bad that you are upset but here’s where I was coming from” is all you’re owed

That's why I qualified it with "when you are wrong".

Apologies are meaningless and hollow. Redeem yourself to those you have wronged in a meaningful manner instead. Only then does an apology matter. Otherwise your simply wasting more of their time.

YES! We have a rule now "im sorry, BUT....."'s or the the same thing without the word but. You are sorry or your not. Making excuses diminishes the power of the apology.

Change attitude after apology! Actions speak louder; reinforce the apology with body language

Will you replace my X without asking Y

have u tripped before??

This is very applicable to conflict resolution. When someone comes at you angry with a “YOU DID X” and wants to start a fight over it, if you go “you’re right, I did, it was wrong, and I’m sorry” you take away their ammunition/power by admitting it. It’s called “disarming the opposition”.

Is this Elon musk?

You know, apologies go a long way eh.

excellent -- the people I know (a lot) who could NEVER do this? ALWAYS ended up being bad people... all of them

But what about people who learn to fake apologizing?

Learn to apologize for real.

I actually agree. I used to be quite introverted, and one of those ‘tips’ you read online about how to be less introverted and more outgoing are to listen to people and ask leading questions to what they have already said. Basically to fake interest.

I used to be terrified to learn about or interact with people. But I started by faking interest, I honestly wanted to be miles away. But after a while I found that people are really awesome, and they all have amazing, funny, sad, interesting lives, and that it’s fun to hear their perspective on things.

At first I was going through the motions, but after a while it became genuine. Now I love meeting new people, and learning their perspective. The beauty of it is knowing this, I can recognize others who are genuinely interested, or are making the effort. Those are the folks you make friends with.

The one thing I will never forget, was when someone was asked to describe me in one word. They used ‘gregarious’, and I’ll tell you that was the nicest of compliments I could ever receive. If they only knew me a few years prior. I meet the coolest strangers now, and it all stared from faking it.

Sometimes when you fake something enough, it becomes real. You put out the effort, the effort becomes routine, and the routine becomes habit, and sooner or later the habit becomes part of your character.

Literally described my current situation perfectly except the apology didn't work.

Just because you apologize doesn't mean that they have to forgive you. It's hard to accept that, but it goes both ways. Just because someone apologizes to you doesn't mean that you have to forgive them. Accept the apology and then decide if you need more time to process what happened or if you're ready to forgive them. If you never feel ready, that can be an acceptable answer.

True that 🙌🏼

When sleep is concerned, hours aren't everything. So, proper, good quality sleep pattern is a great improvement.

An exercise routine and as much movement as one can pack in a day, as in running or walking or cycling.

Reducing added sugar intake. I'm putting this instead of simply eating healthy, because eating healthy can be expensive and hard (at times). Reducing added sugar intake alone would be great for your health and it is just as easy as not eating junk food with lots of sugar in them or stop drinking soda. (And not buying something is much easier than not consuming something once it is in your kitchen.)

I switched to a low carb diet at the beginning of the year. As of now, I'm down almost 30 pounds (I think it might be 27 or so) and I'm feeling like I have more energy. Sure, I'll have something sweet every now and then. It's no fun to diet all day every day. But I do feel better and I'm actually considering what I'm eating from a nutritional standpoint rather than a taste one. Feeling pretty good.

Awesome dude. The nice thing about low carb is once youve been at it for a few months, your taste buds get more sensitive to sweetness. I think we're just so flooded with things loaded with sugar that we need an incredible amount of sweetener to consider something as tasting sweet. Once you break that barrier, regular foods begin to taste really sweet. Like carrots, beets, dates, literally any fruit, etc

I eat fruits and vegetables daily now. I'd have them before, but they were always part of something and never really a standalone thing. I was never the biggest vegetable fan, but I had some carrots for lunch earlier and they tasted mighty fine. I agree with you. Pop tastes really strong now.

Can confirm; diet all day every day since just before the start of the year. It's one hell of a drag but my scale this morning said I had dropped 50lbs which made it worth it for me.

Shit! Twice as much as me! Congratulations! That's a hell of a drop! You must be feeling so good.

Mostly I'm mildly hungry and craving actual sweets. Gummy bears are my weakness and I would do aweful things to eat a 5lbs bag with impunity. My back does hurt less and my feet don't bitch as much but I'm not feeling as energetic as I would have hoped.

But again I'm still pushing 235lbs so who knows what will happen in the future.

It's no fun to diet all day every day.

I agree, lol. I lost around 35 pounds with preparing my own food (less meat, more vegetables), exchanging junk food with fruits and nuts (and lowering the amount of snacks I eat in general), walking and exercising at home. But I did cheat time to time and it felt better than eating shit every day.

Surprisingly, I didn't change the amount of physical activity I was doing. I didn't think so much of my body's weight was influenced by the small snacks I was eating. When you eat multiple snacks, it definitely adds up.

Now that spring is coming around, I'm starting to be outside more and I'm just hoping I can raise my fitness level to sort of coincide with my weight. I don't think I've been this skinny since high school, but I know I can work on other things like muscle growth and cardio.

/r/eatcheapandhealthy

Healthy food being expensive is a myth. You don't need to visit the "health foods" section in order to eat healthy - in fact, I avoid it like the plague because it's largely just the same shit marked up twice as much.

Healthy food being expensive is a myth.

Depends on where you live, what your options are, how much food you need and what you want to eat. Some shitty food is actually much cheaper than healthy alternatives, and depending on a persons budget what is expensive and what is not can change. That is why I wrote at times.

Disregarding it just as a myth is bit thoughtless if you ask me, there are too many variables to just call it a myth.

Okay, I'll concede that fast food is generally just very in-your-face cheap and accessible, which is the crux of the problem. However, if you live in the developed world, there is nowhere that rice, noodles, lentils, beans, eggs, oatmeal and basic veggies (even canned/frozen if you can't afford fresh) aren't accessible and cheap. Fast food isn't cheaper when compared to this stuff, it's just more accessible, which is what I mean by the "myth" - many people believe that fast food and TV dinner is their only option most nights a week because they don't have a good grasp on what's healthy that they can afford. For this reason IMO we need to stop saying "Eating healthy is important but it can be expensive." It reinforces the learned helplessness of low-income people with poor diets. Eating cheap and healthy is very achievable, it's simply a matter of education and forming habits.

Thank you! Came here to say this. Cooking for yourself and eating non processed or minimally processed foods is soooo much cheaper.

I realised a year ago that a lot of my lethargy came from drinking sugary drinks in the morning and cut it out, sometimes I have a one off hot chocolate or orange juice but quickly remember after drinking it why I stopped!

By no means I am an expert, but, what worked for me was switching to fruits for sugar or juice, from artificially sweetened drinks or snacks. I could sate myself with much less and it was healthier, I think.

Juice has a lot of sugar too. Fructose is better than sucrose, but without the fiber of the fruit itself to help properly digest everything it's really just empty calories.

Oh, I know. But it's not something I partake everyday and still much healthier than most alternatives when I do want to have something sugary to drink as a change.

empty calories are linked to lack of nutrition. Fruits, even juice, generally have good nutrition values. Fiber is good to give your gut something to work with, as well as balance absorbtion rate, but fructose is already slow, and paired with the acids it's really not that fast.
The issue with having a lot of fructose is overconsumption, if you're just eating too many calories. The quality is still solid.
A few fruits have pretty high GI too, like pineapple and watermelon.

example source: https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/glycemic-index-and-glycemic-load-for-100-foods

Eating fruits is ok because the fiber keeps th sugars from rushing into your bloodstream all at once. Drinking fruits (juice) on the other hand is actually just as bad as drinking any other sugary drink.

The „orange juice for breakfast“ is not a good thing. The Vitamins don‘t outweigh the harm of the sugar combined with an insulin spike.

So, I borrowed my wife's Garmin fitness tracker thing. It says it tracks stress by "body charge" by heart rate variation. I immediately dismissed it as BS.

One morning felt really blech and behind all day. The stupid thing showed stress all during that nights sleep and I hadn't "charged" at all. I wore it for a week and it was scarily accurate, at least in a broad sense. Enough I think to make changes and test with.

(Looks like HRV does have some merit from digging more later.)

Eating healthy is not expensive in it of itself. The parents and on occasion us, their kids, lived off tortillas and beans. Maybe salsa and cheese. Some greens. The issue is often time and variety. Some people don't 'have' the time. Since I cook for one, I eat the same shit for most the whole week. Not everyone is up for that. There is also a huge social aspect to eating. Give your friends the option of eating out or coming over for your subpar home cooked meal. But if ya need options check r/eatcheapandhealthy and plenty good blogs. Budget bytes.

To piggyback on the sugar suggestion, don't always just look at the sugar amount in the label and call it good. In the USA some added sugars are not required to be counted in that final tally that gets put in the nutrition label. Look at the ingredients list. If there are 5 different types of sugars listed in the ingredients but only 10g of sugars are listed in the nutrition box more then likely half those sugars are not being counted.

Can you provide a source? The way this is written is false and misleading. If there's 10g of any of the -oses it will have 10g sugar listed. It gets a little murkier with the new added sugar labels, but the total can't be blatantly forged.

I love pop. :( That is such a hard thing to wrangle with.

I have cut down over the years. But that just means that in my teen and young adult years, I drank A LOT of it. But that shit starts to catch up to you.

Just moved from a nights job were I worked 4 on 4 off, so I would sleep 6:30am - 12:00 (When the postman woke me up) for 4 days, then on my final night I would stay up as late as I could and try "Change" my routine back around. This meant I had no routine really and was always playing catch up

I'm 1 month into working a day job and my mood, my personality, my life has improve DRASTICALLY. Worked nights for 3 years and feeling depressed and tired was just normal.

Good for you!

Sleep debt is not something that can be paid in a day/night, it takes its toll and hard to even out. I didn't realize the affects on my life until after I got a good sleep routine as well.

True that. Hours mean nothing when you do it at wrong time.

Hours mean nothing when you do it at wrong time.

Couldn't agree more. I didn't always though, four hours any time of the day was enough for me. I was tired but I could get through the day.

Then I read a book about sleep and science about it. It was rather superficial, simply summarized everything, but, it did made me realize how much damage I was doing to myself with that attitude.

My math teacher at the University always goes to sleep at 10 pm and gets up at 4 am. When I asked him about it, he said it was for health reasons. He told me that he suffers from a lot of problems including strokes caused by sleep deprivation, going to bed late in the morning during his life.

he suffers from a lot of problems including strokes caused by sleep deprivation, going to bed late in the morning during his life

Whoa, I never heard about that severe health problems. I turned my sleep schedule to 11(ish) to 5.30, mostly because to get a full nights sleep (as we are better off sleeping in the dark) and to start my days earlier then I have to start them. Having some time for myself before actually getting out of the house really makes my days go smoother.

Do you feel like you're doing more and getting less tired after you switched?

I am definitely less tired during the day. Though, can't say much about doing more, my days are mostly static. But, I'd argue being less tired allows me to do more, when the opportunity presents.

Note that I also did all I can think of (and read from that book) to improve my sleep quality: sleeping in a dark, silent room, no caffeinated drinks 7 hours before sleeping (basically no coffee in the afternoon which was hard), no eating 3 hours before bed sort of things.

Not that I can follow them every day, I mean going out certainly violates every one of these, but still it helped me a lot.

But, I'd argue being less tired allows me to do more, when the opportunity presents.

I agree. This is not always the case for me either.

Not that I can follow them every day, I mean going out certainly violates every one of these, but still it helped me a lot.

So true. Going out and staying elsewhere than I usually do breaks every rule I try to follow about my health. I might eat in the middle of the night, drink some energy drinks (worse than coffee) or even alcohol. I need a couple of days to recover after.
Glad to have this conversation. Take care!

Yes. I think the first step is eating balanced meals of whole foods slowly at regular times throughout the day. Then move on to the next level or so

Reducing added sugar intake.

Sugar is a monster.

I'm %100 on board with no junk food in the house. Dont get me wrong I love me some cookies and sweets but I don't keep them around the house except on few occasions.

If I do want something sweet it forces me to go out of my way to go the store to get them. And when I do I'll go to a coffee shop and get me a nice pastry. So the quality of treat I get is way better!

Well, I'm not getting either anyways.

Also something to be considered is if you're a chronic snorer, consider getting a sleep assessment. No matter how much sleep you get, sleeping with sleep apnea will leave you absolutely exhausted. I got an assessment done and found out I was going upwards of a minute without breathing at times.

It's the single best thing I've ever done to get a good night sleep.

I'm the same weight as when I was a teenager and I can thank not having a sweet tooth for that. 20 years ago I drank soda daily and as my only source of hydration. Someone mentioned drinking water to me and I was like WHAT? EW.

Lol, young me was an idiot.

Have achievable short term goals, and reward yourself appropriately when you achieve them.

Whenever I complete a task on my list, I allow myself 10 minutes on Reddit. Makes the day go faster.

funny it is the excact reverse for me.. i allow myself 10 minutes of work for every 8 hours of reddit.. days wont go by fast though

Days drag and years fly by.

This is so accurate it hurts.

Do more stuff. Make the days fly and the years will drag.

if only... a recent study shows aging of the brain and its processes is mostly responsible for the phenomena.

Sound interesting. Have a link?

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-does-time-seem-to-speed-up-with-age/

I have also read you can slow this process by doing exactly what u/Orngog mentioned.

Many thanks :) I should probably get my own source up

Joseph Heller talked about this in Catch-22

“Dunbar loved shooting skeet because he hated every minute of it and the time passed so slowly. He had figured out that a single hour on the skeet-shooting range with people like Havermeyer and Appleby could be worth as much as eleven-times-seventeen years.

...

“Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?” Dunbar asked Clevinger. “This long.” He snapped his fingers. “A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you’re an old man.”

“Old?” asked Clevinger with surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“Old.”

“I’m not old.”

“You’re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow time down?” Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.

[removed]

Drinking is basically just hitting fast forward throughout the night.

lets not get unrhealistic!

That's a different phenomena. The perception of time always accelerating vs speeding up/slowing down the perception of time.

Yep, this. Routine makes time fly. Gotta do different things and step outside of your comfort zone.

can you just kill me, so everything goes by real fast?

That's the worst option dude, no future at all and you have to go through all of the past again

It’s also pretty popular song lyrics

Ugh. You are not even kidding.

Hell I was 20 just yesterday! Now I'll be 40 in a couple of months. Yet, the weekends take a fucking eternity to come.

Weekends take an eternity to come, but a couple of blinks to pass!

Seriously what in the hell even is Saturday? I keep hearing about this mythical time between Friday night and Sunday morning, but I feel I have yet to experience it.

Sounds like you need to find a couple friends to slay the Legendary "Chronic Drug and Alcohol Abuse", only then can you finally achieve the Saturday.

Seriously. I drank for ten years, and I was always hungover on Saturdays, after the Friday festivities. I stopped drinking in October when cannabis was legalised in Canada, and now my Saturdays are clear, pain-free, bright and early. Sometimes I'll wake and bake with a light sativa and a coffee; start the weekend off right. :)

Is there something that you really enjoy doing on a Friday night and then something on Saturday morning? For me, that's the best time of the week. Leaving work on Friday feels amazing and waking up on a Saturday morning is great if you don't have any responsibilities right away.

Thats not how time works /s

On this site that we call home, the years go fast but the days go so slow

Dammit, you beat me to it.

"The years go fast and the days go so slow."

  • modest mouse

Days drag and years fly by

The lyric is a little different, but it reminds me of this.

The teacher had you write a letter, you were eight years old
About the man that you'd become and the positions you'd hold
But this was long before you and Jackie Geronimo met
In the Prelude Park at midnight
Now when it came to bells and whistles, Jackie did not lack
And when she kissed you on the kisser, boy, you kissed her back
Now you tell her that you love her and she cuts you slack
When you drink with your buddies on the weekend

And the weeks fly by and the years roll on
You spend your whole life dropping nickels in the bucket
Wakin' up at dawn
And while Jackie bestowed the joys of fingerlickin'
The clock up on the wall was tickin'

You got yourself a job cleaning hospital floors
But Jackie had a baby, then she had five more
They'd pay you just enough to drag your ass to the store
To buy bread, milk and Better Homes & Gardens
Jackie flips the pages and she dreams little dreams
A cottage in the country built with real wood beams
There's a baby in the bedroom, he's starting to scream
She holds him though he probably won't remember

And the weeks fly by and the years roll on
Sometimes dreams are all you got to keep you going when the day gets long
And you gave up so many just to make a livin'
That clock up on the wall was tickin'

Now the kids are all grateful when they left the nest
And Jackie wasn't perfect but she did her best
You seize the opportunity to get you some rest
But you can't sleep on account of screaming grandkids

The golden years are meant to leave a gleam in your eye
You're starting to discover it's a great big lie
They work you like a dog til you quit or you die
But you can't quit cause Jackie needs the benefits

And the weeks fly by and the years roll on
They say patience is a virtue but the doctor says she don't have long
You stood up and tried your damndest not to listen
But that clock up on the wall was tickin'

When they told you to clear the room, that's when it hit you
You watched as the caravan took your sweetheart away
The arguments and fights and money troubles seem so worthless
As the kids throw yellow roses on her grave

And the weeks fly by and the years roll on
The house is quiet now and everything inside it seems to know she's gone
There's a picture of you both sixteen years old just kissing
And that clock up on the wall was tickin'

This what we're doing Monday morning, existential anxiety and dread?

We can wait for Friday if you prefer.

seriously, fuck.... this hurts :(

A number of bands have said basically the same thing though, there isn't a right quote.

Modest Mouse said "on this place that we call home, the years go fast but the days go so slow"

Magnetic Fields said it with "when you're old and lonely and the rush of life is past, days go by too slowly and the years go by too fast"

Luke Bryan wrote it as "I believe that days go slow and years go fast"

Author Anna Quindljn wrote it "For the young the days go fast and the years go slow; for the old the days go slow and the years go fast"

There's plenty of occurrences of it though, the first time I'd heard it I thought wow that's hard, so I looked it up and it seems like a general thought a lot have

Too profound not to reply. Thanks for this.

An unfortunate side effect of working too much

And you run and you run

To catch up with the sun but is sinking

Isaac brock wants to meet you. He says the years go fast and the days go so slow. Something about a buffalo

Oh my god how can you even put this into words. Amazing.

Happy cake day!

Wow I didn't even notice. Thanks for reminding me lol

2 years go by like... that. Very meta for the comment chain now.

So true and np haha, it's my real life birthday today too

Happy birthday! Enjoy your special day.

This makes me want to cry... Should it? Should I be crying? Am I depressed? Can of worms you just opened up.

You can check out any time you like, but you can't ever leave.

For decades and decades and decades

This hurts me. It's one thing to try and fill the time with novel experiences, but it's another to break ingrained habits.

How do you make a new adventurous self image? It can only be done from scratch. I know that new people, new experiences, and new habits are the core of making change... but leaving my irl friends who are on discord every night is difficult. Talking to them every night keeps me trapped on YouTube and I waste large swaths of time watching shit that doesn't matter. It has an effect on my sleep, which affects my motivation and energy levels the next day. I need to cut the chord on my online life, but I'm having difficulty taking the steps I need to to make lasting change.

Ugh.

This is what I tell myself when trying to get through the day with a toddler. I know 20ish years will be here in a flash, and I’ll weep bitterly for all the days I wasted just waiting for bedtime to come.

Since nobody else linked it yet, /r/PulitzerComments

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No one told you when to run

You missed the starting gun.

Woah, I’ve never heard this said before, but damn it’s to true

The seconds pass slowly,
And years go flying by
You gotta stop the bus
I'll get off here

--Ben Folds Five

Can't be more then two years I've been on reddit... nope closing in to four years here soon.

But how is that possible? You have to remember you are the master of your own perspective on the world. You mind is more powerful than time.

I fucking hate this. Why brain why

exact opposite for me. i sit down and suddenly its 12am but things i feel like happened a year ago were only a couple months

Joseph Heller talked about this in Catch-22

“Dunbar loved shooting skeet because he hated every minute of it and the time passed so slowly. He had figured out that a single hour on the skeet-shooting range with people like Havermeyer and Appleby could be worth as much as eleven-times-seventeen years.

...

“Do you know how long a year takes when it’s going away?” Dunbar asked Clevinger. “This long.” He snapped his fingers. “A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you’re an old man.”

“Old?” asked Clevinger with surprise. “What are you talking about?”

“Old.”

“I’m not old.”

“You’re inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age? A half minute before that you were stepping into high school, and an unhooked brassiere was as close as you ever hoped to get to Paradise. Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon. Zip! They go rocketing by so fast. How the hell else are you ever going to slow time down?” Dunbar was almost angry when he finished.

Modest Mouse lyrics “Years go fast, but the days go so slow”

and your heart's the bitter buffalo

I read that as "flears yy* by"

*Rhymes with by

Same here. I try to reward myself with reddit or youtube time for every hour or item completed at work. Turns into 1 hour or 1 item completed at work and then 6 hours of reddit and youtube.

[deleted]

My job gives me like 2 hours of work and I have to stretch that across 8 hours. A lot of my day is Reddit.

I need to get into a job like that. I get about 10-12 hours worth of work with 8 hours a day to do it by myself due to understaffing for more $$$.... not to mention the fact that they have me take deliveries for about 2 hours a day on average (not my job and also takes time from my actual job). Then they wanna bitch about how my job isn’t done at the end of the day. Working on getting out of here 😅

My last job was that way. Too much work for one person. I’d love to find a job that was in the middle. Not over worked or under worked. Trust me when I say you don’t want a job like this. Once you’ve been conditioned to over work you get ridiculously bored when you have nothing to do.

Ha I know what you mean, I’ve switched back and forth and it seems like its pretty hard to find a place that puts you in the middle, not too much and definitely enough work. I wouldn’t mind some extra down time though, I’m going to school for computer science and also running my own contracting business on the side so I could definitely use the time productively!

That sounds like an addict talking

The nerve of this guy!

Humblebragging about "merely" 1 hour of productivity...

days wont go by fast though

Instead hours fly by too fast.

I allow myself 10 minutes of Reddit for every hour I spend on Reddit

I do half the work and half reddit. Until I noticed my court papers were half done and I was gonna get my ass kicked. Now I prep court papers and allow myself 10-15 of reddit before court.

nah, these last few days hae been 'wait what I just woke up'

"10 minutes" on Reddit sure makes my day speed by.

I did wonder why my days felt 10 minutes long

“10” minutes on this sub in particular is the best way to pass the time at work.

I’ve been here since 2011, that was like 8 minutes ago right?

Yeah, in 2021 we should end our break and get another task completed. Then back to Reddit until 2031 or so.

Whenever I go a week without drinking I reward myself with a 3 hour appointment with a hooker and cocaine.

☑️ Browse Reddit

Take a break and browse Reddit

Is this a joke to you

Same, I just give myself smaller tasks throughout the day.

Wake up - 10 minutes on reddit Make a coffee - 10 minutes on reddit Make breakfast - 10 minutes on reddit Shower - 10 minutes of reddit Dress myself - 10 minutes on reddit

That’s literally what I’m doing right now at work

TIL 10 minutes on Reddit is possible

Task 1: open chrome

Task 2: type reddit.com

Well that's 20 minutes on Reddit, good job me!

whenever I spend 60 minutes on Reddit at work, I award my boss with one 5-10 min task completed

Unless you have 20 tasks a day!!

Who wants their days to go by faster? Not enough hours in a day

I can't plan out my daily tasks (though I can plan a long term thing I'll do in the future and work towards it). If I stick to a routine, I get really bored and miserable and it falls apart, lol. I dunno what my problem is. I can only do things if I just do them whenever

could be ADHD. not even kidding. my friend’s brother (both have ADHD) is really good and has no issue with getting tasks done....when he wants to. With a routine and schedule he just won’t do it. It will never happen if he doesn’t feel like doing it. People like that make terrible normal employees and excellent in fields with no set routine like firefighters.

Yeah, that's 100% the case for me. I can have endless persistence and good work ethic when I want to do something. If I don't.. I get extremely, and what feels like painfully, bored. That's how I quit my last job, I got to the point i was so bored that I couldn't do one more day :/ I'm a senior in HS right now and am planning to save up for something (it's hobby related), so I'm willing to work some boring min wage job that I'll probably hate for it for the next 5 months, and I'm reaaally not looking forward to doing so.

I'm not so sure I have ADHD though. I have 0 hyperactivity, and I'm known to be very calm and quiet.

How many things are on your list?

You completed 10 minutes of reddit time! Congratulations! You are awarded 10 minutes of reddit time!

The fact you want your day to go faster probably means you should re-evaluate your days

Ooh la la, somebody has self control.

Congrats on completing the task(s)!

List of tasks

​

1) Browse 10 minutes on Reddit

​

Repeat

1) Open email X 10 minutes of Reddit

2) Read email X 10 minutes of Reddit

3) Respond to email X 10 of Reddit

4) Time to reward myself with a break

My short term goal is to finish work and my reward is a Big Mac meal with large coke and fries.

I work 5 days a week.

You must be a lean fella

  • 1160 Calories
  • 44 gramsTotal Fat
  • 169 gramsTotal Carbs
  • 29 grams Protein

Meh...still leaves 600 or so calories for an average-ish male.

You think the average male eats 1800 calories a day? Maybe if he weighs like 120 lbs

This is me. 1800kcal seems like a lot of food to me, unless it’s junk food. I have IBS, however, so I try to eat a lot of moderately healthy food. Definitely no Big Macs for me.

1800 is a lot in chicken and veggies, but nothing in shakes and fries.

[deleted]

it entirely depends on how active you are. If you're a 5'11" male that has a desk job and your only steps in the day is throughout the house in the morning, then to your desk when you get to work, and then in your house before you go to bed, 1800kcal is probably around right.

This is true. I have a desk job and im in a weight loss competition right now so ive been keeping a very close eye on my calories. Im 6’ and started at 202lbs. I was eating 2000 calories per day and i have been riding my indoor bike 5 days per week for 45 minutes at a shot. The apple watch says im burning around 400 calories each session (no clue how accurate that actually is).

Anyway, i hit a plateau around 190lbs. With 2000 calories per day and all that cycling, i just couldnt lose weight. I dropped to consuming around 1500 calories per day and i am finally losing weight again. I swear i must have worlds slowest metabolism or something.

Hahaha don't sweat it man -- good on you for beating your plateau. The first time I lost weight I hit a plateau and then started gaining again... After gaining 35 pounds I've been losing this year again and I'm finally almost to where I was :P

Weight training would be a good supplement

No, that builds weight

Only if you are eating at a caloric surplus

You think lifting weight/exercising will build weight? Assuming you're eating normal how does that make sense

You won't build weight unless you eat more than you burn. Strength training won't burn as many calories as cardio but pretty much everyone looks better with a little bit of strength training

Great stuff dude. Can confirm, about 400 kcal are a good estimate for your workout. and eating 1800 seems about right too. now way an office job worker requires more than 1800 kcal per day to maintain weight. source: competive cyclicst struggling with weight

Not according to searching I've done, unless you're like 40-50+ or something like that. "Idle" male body consumes over 2000 just ~~existing~~ living independently(important distinction) until a little later in life. 1800 is a mild to moderate weight loss diet for men until a little later in life. 2500 is a bit much for a sedentary man, though.

[deleted]

5’4” 150lb woman... if I want to lose any weight at all I need to be eating around 1300-1500kcal/day. That’s nothing. It sucks being so short since I can’t have an extra anything if I want to lose any weight. If I were to eat like my husband I would gain and gain and gain.

[deleted]

People eat more in groups than alone. Not just husbands, friends and strangers too.

Yes we are such social creatures. When I see someone eating I usually want to also eat, which causes lots of unnecessary snacking. And you’re so right about social events being around food, or drink. I also live in a very big beer city, so if you want to go out and enjoy a beer, have an extra 400-800 calories. If you do want to eat whatever you want and don’t have a super high metabolism you need to exercise excessively. I’m trying to live evenly and try to snack less and move more, but am not into totally cutting what I can eat down to nothing. I’m going to add exercise in soon and see what happens, but I feel doomed to a slightly overweight life. Also, thanks! I thought it was a silly phrase :)

If you are active. At least for women, a lot of us burn only like 1400-1800 calories a day if we are sedentary. It's why I took up running lol

Ya for an average male, maybe about 5'9 and 160 pounds, 1700 is less than you should eat even if you don't leave your bed all day.

Yes as a male who is about 155 my average calroies to stay the same seems to be around 1900. Desk job 2 hour car commute I basically do nothing but sit.

Yeah it's around there

I shoot for 1800 to 2000...5'10" 190 sedentary due to office job.

I am aiming for deficit though.

Probably about right... 6' and 180. I aim for 2000. 2 miles of walking per day to get to the office. Quick 20m workout in the AM. Also aiming for deficit. Depends on how clean that 1800 calories is though. You can eat fatty foods & get those calories or eat low carb/low fat and get them. Has made a huge impact for me.

Same...give me all of the protein.

Carbs...although I love them...are not my friend. A serving of 2 slices of bread is around 140 to 200 (sometimes way higher) calories. Give me another piece of chicken instead.

[removed]

I listened to some chick on The Joe Rogan Experience go on and on about sprouted grains.

I live in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania, USA...so getting organic products is hard enough.

But thanks, I will keep an eye out for next time I am near the city.

USA is fat as hell. 1800 per day is a healthy amount for an average male. It's just that people eat a lot more than that and get fat...

If someone is eating 2k+, then I hope they're exercising or just a big person. Otherwise, that's just surplus calories.

Not for long haha!

Right. I can easily eat 3000 calories and maintain 160 pounds..

as an average sized 6’3” 180lb teenager i eat probably three times that every day lol

I'm losing weight at 2000 kcal a day with only walking around 2km a day.

2300kcal if I workout.

I'm 187cm and 92kg.

Must not be Gaston.

169 grams of carbs in one meal though

That's true it could work, maybe with some exercise, but its enough saturated fat and sodium for an entire day, and that's never good.

At the end of the day, arguing that McDonalds isn't an unhealthy choice is always fighting a losing battle.

No...that's incorrect according to what I am looking at right off their site. 1260 mg of sodium and 12 g saturated fat.

You could have that as one of your meals or your big meal for the day and be fine.

Different diets work for different people. I will get in moods where I'll eat hamburgers everyday for a month or 2 as one of my meals. I am fine, my blood work is fine. But I also try to make sure another meal is fish, fruit, vege...Some people eat only meat and are fine.

I would however, cut that large coca cola out. I don't drink my calories as a rule.

Yes, you are right

Except that you’re not counting all the added sugar. That’s gonna cause heart problems and can lead to diabetes. There’s a lot more to health than just weight.

I am well aware of this. That is why I mentioned in another comment I would cut out the coke.

Large coke has 60 grams of sugar.

That's too much...but the average person is getting more than that.

A lot of people don't realize is that you should only get about 25 grams of sugar for a woman and around 40 for a man. Most people get that with their morning coffee.

Everyone thinks fat is the enemy...it's not...it's sugar....minus trans fats of course.

Do athletes do this? Nope.

But he is not an athlete.

Is the average person an athlete? Nope.

You could bulk off McDonalds if you wanted. If you are doing some extreme diet where mass and volume is the goal...it's basically eat whatever the fuck you want and as much of it as possible. AKA dirty bulk.

Diet is micros and macros....the body doesn't care to a point.

The reason athletes don't do it is the same reason anyone shouldn't.

I think your understanding of nutrition and how the human body works is a little flawed.

I am guessing you are living in the "fish and chicken are good...burgers and fries are bad" world.

It's just not true. I bid you adieu.

[deleted]

It says it has 1 g trans fat. Dietary allotment is 1% of your cals for the day.

[deleted]

You'd think they would make it mandatory to say <1g ....like we KNOW there are trace amounts.

and by all means, I completely agree with not eating McDonalds or most fast food/processed garbage...Whole food are the way to go...I just have to be that guy who argues the other point...I will stand on my Big Mac of lies and scream them from the McMountain tops!

From working in the industry it is mostly soybean oil mixed with whatever else. Plus they put other stuff in there do it doesn't foam up. Once we had a batch of bad oil without those conditioners and so many boil overs.

I'll eat chicken wings every once in a great while, but that's the only thing I really out of a deep fat fryer.

We just have the largest experiment in human history going on currently that is showing that diet is the leading cause of death throughout the planet. Just look at the US and its staple foods and how that relates to obesity and cardiovascular health. No... It's not the food though, right?

Correlation and causation.

A combination of food, exercise, and education.
Your argument was "eat like an athlete".

Overeating is the issue, I don't care if you overeat salmon or overeat burgers. Same result, obesity.

My argument is that it is not WHAT we eat, but how much we eat. People still have it in their heads "I eat healthy, but I still gain weight, what's the point?"

The point is education. You can eat burgers, steaks, McDonald's, pizza, etc and lose weight/be healthy...the same as you can eat olive oil, fat free bullshit, bananas, chicken, rice, etc and gain weight/be unhealthy.

Overeating and a sedentary lifestyle is what is killing people prematurely on a global scale.

Arguing, isn't, unhealthy, always, fighting, losing. I had to read that sentence two or three times..

There are more calories then you are estimating in that meal. /u/herpaderpadont

1188 to be exact. It was just a copy and paste from McD's site. Take it up with them.

Also, I believe the government allows for a certain percentage +/- on prepared meals...This is why it is important to overestimate when eating processed and/or prepared meals.

44*9 396

169*4 676

29*4 116

Are you sure you are selecting large?

I have 1340 from their own site.

Edit: Which I'm sure is probably scewed lower.

Large coke, medium fry. I think

Speaking a lean. I can't seem to gain weight. I'm 6'1 155lbs. I eat whatever I want whenever I want. And nothing happens. The most I've weighed was around 165 and it was because I was taking some heavy weigh gain protein junk, but I quit taking it because it made my head feel really cloudy and stupid. So I can eat 18 2 packs of reeses a week and not gain a pound, or mcds fries 3 times a week and not gain weight. Or I can eat steak and rice and not lose weight. I'm stuck.

You’re not eating enough.

I guess not. I mean, the example I gave aren't all I eat. But I don't eat 3 meals a day for sure.

Gaining weight is not easy if you’ve been skinny your whole life.

Count calories, weigh your portions, stay consistent. You're not special or getting around the laws of thermodynamics. It's not what you eat, it's the total energy of what you eat that matters. You need to eat more energy than you expend the same way an overweight person needs to eat less than they expend. The hard part is staying consistent for life.

an absolute unit

anyone remember that movie 'super size this' the one guys eats 2 big macs every day..thin as a rail. Some can get away with it (im 5'11 about 170) eat whatever i want, rarely exercise, everyone in my family is thin

For one meal a day he is probably fine. You just can't eat that garbage all the time.

A full days work is not nearly small of a goal enough. You should consider every break a reached goal and go for the BicMac Pentakill every day.

My 'simple thing' was going to be to avoid eating garbage food with any regularity - so I'll just tack it on here rather than give it its own parent comment.

Yeh you definitely shouldn’t eat that daily. Holy fuck. Treatyoself on Fridays. You’ll see a lot more of em.

Plot twist: works at McDonald's and gets free food

reward

Big Mac Meal with large coke and fries

5 days a week

I'm not sure you know what "reward" means. Unless your plan is to exit the world early.

The ultimate reward

This was the first time I chuckled on an otherwise depressing day. Thank you.

/r/2meirl4meirl

It's a joke m8

well hopefully, either way they are aware.

No joke. This internet. Only serious.

Your reward is allowing killing you. It's as bad as smoking for your health

Weirdly enough I have a similar goal to burn 600 calories on the treadmill then eat a 5x5 burger and fries from In-N-out Burger. I have no regrets after

The big mac isn't really that unhealthy it's the soda and fries that gets ya.

dude at least get the crispy chicken once in a while. And splurge for some twister fries mann hmmm twister fries yess

Ew you get large meals at McDonald’s? As a reward????

I seriously try this but can't think of any rewards. I've tried them all, looked up lists of rewards. None of them are motivating, I'm very satisfied with my life and don't want anything else. This is actually a problem for me, because I do want to have a reward system to accomplish things.

Moral of the story: never be happy.

The problem with rewarding yourself is all possible rewards are either

  1. Things that make you happy that you should be doing anyways.
  2. Things you shouldn't do, or else you would be doing them always.

"I'm going to buy that cool jacket I always wanted if I lose 15 pounds." The only 2 reasons you don't already have the jacket is:

  1. You can't afford it (so why would you "reward" yourself with something you can't afford)
  2. You don't actually believe it's worth the price, aka you don't want it THAT much.

Or "I'm going to go on that trip I always wanted, if I reach x goal." Do you really think you're not going to go on that trip if you don't reach the goal?

I was inexact in my wordings - what I am saying is I would like to improve a lot of things in my life, there is just no reward that motivates me. I don't care about a "cool" jacket or any external rewards. I don't want to reward myself by going to a nice restaurant, or on a trip anywhere. There's no "thing" that I want or need. I don't need 200 pairs of shoes, or a Ferrari, or a Rolex watch, or whatever. I just don't need anything at all. Even if I won a $750 million lottery, I wouldn't go out and binge spend, that just is not who I am. I've thought about this a lot. There's just nothing more I want. But, as I said, I sure would like to improve stuff about me. It would be nice to reward myself with something in order to motivate myself.

I don't know if this is any clearer.

Yeah it sounds like we agree.

If you wanted the jacket (you don't) you'd already have the jacket. So how is that motivation?

Right. But what if you have everything, in terms of "stuff", that you already need? There's no real external motivation. Which is kind of sad in its way, because all motivation can combine with other motivations to help accomplish things. One should have multiple motivations, because in every endeavor, there are always tough spots, and some motivations work and some don't in different spots.

Do you have any bigger long term goals?

You have to be dissatisfied with yourself and the place you're in to want change in the first place. Ironically, putting short term goals and rewards in your life, and having the motivation to actually accomplish them, is more of a symptom of your dissatisfaction with your situation than a truly healthy behavior. I'm not saying you shouldn't want to improve if there's a problem with you, but you should ask yourself what you really want first, what matters to you, and if it's something you don't already have, and are satisfied with. Meritocratic ideology tends to poison some people's minds and make them wish for constant change, when it's not always necessary, or even something that matters depending on who you are.

Well, I guess more exactly, I'm satisfied with the stuff I have - I don't need anything else, like cars or going out to restaurants and all these kind of things. However, I would like to accomplish a lot more and not happy with that, but I just don't have anything that can serve as a reward.

Absolutely. Everyone's goal list always looks like: Lose 50 pounds, run a marathon, write a book, find a better job, etc.

All of those goals are vague, have no deadline, and don't stir any internal response if you fail.

If you instead wrote: Go to the gym and walk for 30 minutes in the morning, go to the library after work and check out a book about writing, and apply for 3 jobs tonight.

This way you have an easily digestible goal, a time frame, and you know exactly when you have failed or succeeded.

I tried this out, my goal was to eat cake, my reward for eating cake was... Never mind. I got fat.

"I'm going to eat healthier. Salad for lunch it is!"

...

"I ate a salad for lunch.... Burger for dinner it is!"

It's still an improvement on having a burger for lunch and dinner.

I have trouble coming up with stuff to do

My short term goals are: sunday to tuesday, recover and handle the consequences from the weekend. Wednesday to thursday, actually function like an adult. Friday and saturday reward time. Rinse and repeat.

Not very healthy

As long as 2/7 of your week is spent being a proper adult you're doing better than most

I've spent 7/7 days a week as an adult since I turned 18, and just this week I managed to buy a camera

What about those three months where you dressed as a fox and made everyone call you Trundle?

I'm sick of your anti-furry rhetoric stabs with sword of justice

Well I am trying at least. Have loads of friends who party three days in a row and then show up on monday as fresh as ever. Never understood how the fuck they do it.

op said "simple", dude.

Assign Aspiration Points to your Wants and use them to purchase Aspiration Rewards.

I'm not joining your cult

My cult actually comes with many perks, just don’t blame me if the pool ladder disappears inexplicably. 🤷‍♂️

Or if a garden gnome appears in your yard..

What kinds of reward would you recommend? I found that when I reward myself with listening to music, it gets boring pretty soon. Walking could be another option but its a time black hole. The only thing that I think worked for me was masturbation. I go to the gym and when I get back home I reward myself with some porn before shower.

If I'll manage to eat this chocolate I can have another as a reward.

Go for a 1 mile run. Finish a tub of fried wings as a reward.

How is a tub of chicken a reward? Oh you mean a bathtub. Nevermind.

"Appropriately"

Throwing a block part after doing the dishes...appropriate? I think so.

just think of how many more dishes you'll have to do after the party though...

and then we party again!

Split your long term goal in more small ones and keep feeling like you are getting somewhere constantly

I’ve started making “ta da” lists (someone smart made them up but I’m too lazy to google it. It’s a list of everything I’ve accomplished that day/week/life. It sounds cheesy but it helps recognize how hard you work!

How does one appropriately reward themselves though? Any tips? Or ideas?

I made it to work today.. Gonna go out and drink tonight!

Any time I give effective counsel I like to reward myself the same way Tyrion Lannister does. With a trip to the brothel and a good pint of wine.

One of the things that I try to do is to have short, mid, and long term goals for myself. The short gives me something that's readily achievable, and I try to make and succeed in these regularly. The mid gives me something to look forward to and work toward (e.g. planning and prepping for my next vacation). The long gives me a direction in life that I'm aiming toward and helps to not feel like I'm just floating along, directionless in my own life.

Have SMART goals,

​

Specific

​

Measurable

​

Achievable

​

Relevant

​

Time-bound

​

​

This has been shown to work and is commonly used with people that are dealing with mental illness or other issues.

Fap once by not fapping for 12 hours

I started a self-care tracking chart recently with all the things I know I should be doing for my physical/mental health, but I struggle to accomplish because my depression makes it hard for me to achieve intrinsic goals. My reward for getting 40 stars is a manicure.

Whaddya know, I now floss more often and wash my face more often. Still not daily, like I should, but I'm getting there. Two manicures earned so far. :D

Hell yeah this. I've made April my super healthy and vice free month. No alcohol, meat or high fructose. If I can't control what I put in my body how can I expect to control any aspect of my life? Short term helps keep me motivated and I'm proud of how far I've made it already.

I want to eat a cookie. Woohoo I achieved my goal I deserve another cookie.

My short term goal is to lose 5 lbs. The catch: I usually reward myself with overeating.

Whenever i win an apex game or get some kills.

I stop for 10 minutes, stretch my legs, have a snack and scream (i find short burst of screams very relaxing)

The longer the loosing streak is the better the snack, longer break and a louder scream.

I've learned I respond to self-bribes really well. So whenever I'm not feeling motivated or have to do something I really don't want to (and missed the window to do it right now before I can talk myself out of it), if I promise myself some kind of treat once I do whatever it is, then I'll do it. The treat could be a snack, or an ep of a tv show, or dicking around online, or whatever sounds the most appealing right then.

Last night it took several cookies to get through some dreaded paperwork.

My short term goal atm is to get a job.

Nearing 2 years in and I'm ready to crack open a skull or two.

... I should probably remove that from my resume though.

/r/getdisciplined

Found Jordan Peterson's account

I want to lose 5lbs... Reward? Pizza for dinner for a week.

Rinse, repeat.

My goal is to fap more times than I did yesterday. Boom! The reward is inherent.

Edit: spelling

I'd like to meet that gal.

Short term goal Save $1000 Reward Spend $1000

When I complete small goals (writing a new chapter in my story, finish a day’s worth of homework assignments, etc.) I order myself something off of my Amazon wishlist.

I do that. I work out for 20 mins then I reward myself with a cake.

I found inspiration in r/bulletjournal

I reward myself with a beer for making it through the day. Does that count?

Always remember to reward yourself with a nibble

That's EXACTLY what I tought when I read the thread

Yes!!

Abstaining from cocaine for a week..........then rewarding myself with cocaine and a hooker

Like go for a walk in the morning or after work and reward yourself with a gyro, 3 hot dogs and 50 chicken wings.

Short term goal : Finish 3 questions of statistics Reward : 12 hours of sleep and fifa

Make your bed... then have breakfast.

Best way to start your day and i can honestly say i procrastinate less because i set my day up to achieve goals by crossing off that first goal, making the bed.

A simple "today I'll clean my room" makes it a lot better.

Important: Make sure your rewards aren't sabotaging your goals. Don't reward yourself for losing a few pounds by having a 5,000 calorie pig out day.

When I lose some weight I reward myself with a big pizza

Candy for Mandy.

To do list: Step 1: create a list. Step2. Finish step 1.

This works great as a motivator for me to study for my classes. I set a benchmark for myself (usually 80-90%) depending on the material difficulty in that course. And I decide this number at the beginning of the semester and every time I meet or exceed my test score goal I take myself out to Buffalo Wild Wings and the only time I get wings is when I've done good on tests.

I like to set weekly goals I write down every Sunday. Usually not more than 3 and then I mentally plan out in my head the week and how I can achieve those goals.

It's great to also breakdown a larger goal this way and you get to see progress each week.

By 12:05 my list consists of 1 . Put some pants on 2 . Go to the shop and buy some prunes and panadol

sometimes i reward myself with steak when I had a busy/productive week 😂

I started doing this three years ago and it’s definitely helped a lot. Every year I make three goals and write them down in a yearly planner. Break them down by action items for each quarter of the year. Then do a weekly recap on the to do items I made for the week. Great way to keep myself motivated, enjoy the little achievements along the way and notice destructive behaviors before they become a problem. In those three years I’ve hit some major educational milestones, paid off debt, started a business and lived a healthier lifestyle to mention a few.

Whenever I run for a solid half-hour with no excuses I got to the Cici's buffet and bring shame to myself and my family.

what if you're already rewarding yourself all the time without having to achieve anything?

Read 20 words. Thats a nib...

What time it is... Its nib'o clock.

Terry jeffords @brooklyn99

On that topic, to help you complete tasks within a "goal", make yourself spend just five minutes on the task. Say to yourself, "I'm just going to work on this for five minutes", and that's usually a good way to get past procrastination, and once you start doing the task, you'll find yourself in a groove and working until you get it done. But the five minute concept gets you to get over the "crap, this is going to take hours to get done", mindset, and get you working

I stop myself from eating a piece if candy and reward myself by eating that peace of candy.

What if my short term goals are buying rewards for myself

And don't forget, you can use your short term goals to reach your long term goals. For example, I have a short term goal of saving $1500 in my new savings account. This leads to my next goal which is my 3 month ER fund, which will lead to my next goal of having extra savings to put towards investments. I've found taking the baby steps helps me to reach the long term goals a lot better.

this generalized comment got silver?

Mine was to sell artwork. Actually made enough to buy myself a commission from my favorite artist, and it serves as a reminder of my childhood dream of wanting to become an illustrator.

I mean, sound logic? Yes. But you might as well have said “If you have goals, just achieve them.” Or, “if you’re depressed, just try being happy.”

Goal: Get out of bed
Reward: 10 beers
This is fuvking brilliant

I like to run a mile and reward myself with a large pizza

Don’t tell this to a drug addict lmao. My alcoholic brother will go 3 weeks without drinking and rewards himself by binging for 3-4 days straight!

Ok so if I lose 5kg of fat I reward myself with infinite McDonalds for the next 2 weeks

I like to walk to the store then get myself a treat when I'm there.

Goal: Make a comment on Reddit

Reward: Buy myself a nice meal!

Whew already working

For realsies, this is a very strict policy of mine.

Whenever my husband and get a sum of money that isn't part of our budget, we reward ourselves. I Get quarterly bonuses. I spend 10% on whatever we want. New guitar? Sure. Impractical kitchen appliance (I have them all)? Sure.

Then the rest goes to savings, student loans or any credit card debt we've acquired. It reminds us that working isn't just survival and its really made a difference.

I could do that but I also know that I could just as easily reward myself for thinking about working and I'll just do it later

Step 1: make my bed. Step 2: reward myself with a new yacht. Seems appropriate.

key word 'appropriately'

Get erection. Take care of erection. Achievement unlocked.

Goal- make a living... Realistic? Fuck...

I worked for 1 full hour. Time for a cigar and a glass of bourbon! Did I do that right?

I treat myself to a fancy coffee whenever I finish an upgrade to my car. Also serves as a test drive to make sure I didn’t fuck up.

Whenever I lose 2 lbs I have myself a nice large cheese cake.

So like: Get out of bed = I get a cookie?

When I was an intern I used to buy expensive chocolate ice cream. I would set a goal to eat healthy everyday. If I ate healthy during the week (no junk food, excessive bread, sweets, etc) I would eat 1-2 scoops of ice cream every Friday as a reward. If I didn’t, I would eat a spoonful of the ice cream or none. After that, resisting to eat sweets became super easy. And I lost some weight as well and felt better in general (health, mood, etc). I’m back in college so I can’t indulge as much, but when I graduate I plan on doing this again.

Capricorn vibes

[deleted]

"There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

If you've believed 6 impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways--the Restaurant at the End of the Universe!

What is the source of this quote?

iirc it's from alice in wonderland, but I could be wrong.

You are correct.

This is why I love Dungeons and Dragons.

I get to explore a new world and a new persona along with getting the human interaction we all need as well.

This is why I love Dungeons and Dragons.

"I cast magic missile at the darkness!"

If you're sorcerer of light why'd you have to cast magic missile?

Maybe they go MM from a feat. ? hmm?

So many people not getting the reference, downvoting the people who do. There's truly been a changing of the guards.

This. The best RPGs are cooperative storytelling - everyone gets together with their own backstories and motivations and it develops into something intriguing and wonderful, with everyone having moments in the spotlight, highs and lows.

Oh? So your sessions aren't:

"wait...no Captain Falcon you CANNOT loot the tomb, we were literally hired by the temple!!"

"but I need to make money to pay crewmen, since appaaaaaarenlty I can't just use slave labor"

DM: "Captain Falcon, Ima need you to change that alignment from CG to CN for me"

Nice.

It's been many years now but I think my favourite along these lines was:

"So, we chop the kobold's arms and legs off, bandage it up, and stick it in a backpack so we can use it to detect traps."

"And Sir Bedevere, what was he doing while this happened?"

"Oh, the paladin? Err... yeah, he was outside."

​

The first party I ever played in had a Life Cleric named Zion, who was perpetually stoned (both in and out of character). It worked out because the rest of our party tended to be less than scrupulous, and in retrospect a Life Cleric probably would've been less than cool with some of the shenanigans we got up to.

Nope

I'm blessed with very good players in all the groups I'm in

my groups are also great, I was just making a joke about how DnD is amazing and outrageous all at once. Captain Falcon also got tons of RP inspiration and credit for playing his Pirate character true to form, it's really quite wonderful.

Yup. I could never get into the game, and I tried to play with different groups. There always seemed to be some rigid asshole in the group who was eager to reference the book and shit on everyone else’s parade. So, it basically meant I would spend what seemed like an eternity to roll a character, create some backstory and other traits, simply to realize the game itself is slow, taxing, and not fun whatsoever.

If I had the time to design an RPG, it would be a game about a group of people who are playing D&D, and the goal is to escape the game.

I'm sorry to hear that you've had such awful experiences. My post may have sounded jaded, but I love DnD and play every opportunity I get.

It sounds like you've had some really bad experiences, and I wish I could provide you a better one to see what a wonderful game it really is. The catch is that it's only as good as the people you're playing with, so you can have one bad apple ruin the whole bunch. I've been blessed with a great group of friends, and we've all learned how to play together over the years. It's been a wonderful experience that I wouldn't trade for anything.

This might sound crazy but I'm really intimidated by D&D while also eager to try it.

The advice poster above gave? That stuff terrifies me. Feels like I'm the least spontaneous person in the world most of the time. I tend to ruminate over just about everything instead of acting and doing something and I realize it's not good. And D&D is all about spontaneous creativity.

Plus I've known a few people, who always seem to be in close-knit groups, who do it and similar games (you know the type that stereotypical "geeks" play, don't mean that in a bad way) and they seem like great people but I feel like they size me up as being uncomfortable about these things immediately, which then leads me to think they think I'm stupid or something. Really leads to some strange/awkward interactions unfortunately

I think once again you’re over-thinking this.

You just have to try it. You'll be new. It will be awkward, you will feel weird, you will probably feel like that for a good amount of sessions. Ideally you will start with a group that is mostly new, so you can all learn together and be awkward together.

Your local game shop might be a good place to start, and a lot of other businesses are catching on (you might find a game night at your local pub that helps you get into RPGs in a more relaxed, basic setting.)

Check out the podcast Drunks and Dragons to just get a better idea of how the game flows, and what players do. And also to see that it's not just flawless spontaneity. Maybe create a character that is easy for you to play (like my character isn't very smart, so when she says or thinks something dumb, it's actually in character :) So maybe your character is deliberative to a fault and always seems to make the wrong choice. A lot of the fun of D&D is our character's flaws, and working together with people that have other flaws that are your strengths and vice versa.

There are a lot of people into D&D that would love to take you under their wing and help you feel more comfortable. There are a lot of duds as well, but see if there is an opportunity for you to just dip your toes in somewhere. There are multiple session campaigns, but there are also other opportunities that might just be a one off campaign, or different kind of game that can give you a better idea of how to play and give you more confidence. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll feel more confident. It's hard to know what to expect, so I would check out some Youtube and podcasts. It helped me feel more at ease before my first session.

I second this! A great podcast to listen to is The Adventure Zone, it's actually 3 brothers and their dad playing it and it's very funny and relaxing, as well as being a great way to introduce you to the game. That's how I was introduced to D&D and the McElroy brothers and I couldn't recommend it enough

Good to know! I'll check it out. Thanks!

Hope you enjoy it!

Anyone who is worth playing with, will NOT judge you for how you play your character especially if they know it's your first time.

What they should do is encourage you and be inclusive.

I play with my best friends and a totally random girl that I met once at a bar. She's awkward, not really that creative, and extremely new to the game, but excited! She wanted to play and we were more than happy to get a fresh perspective. As we've been playing, we help her out with any questions or gameplay, actively encourage her, include her in jokes and just generally try to make her feel welcome. She's gotten more comfortable with us and with the game and it shows.

Most people understand that a new player isn't going to be that great bc there's a lot of stuff going on and it can be intimidating. A group worth playing with will help and encourage you, though.

Another thing, one of the great things about d&d is that it takes ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE to play. You can be good, you can be bad, you can be quiet or loud, you can be a supporting character, or a leading one. You can be the one who is always ready for a fight, or the one who is really good at puzzles. EVERYONE has a place at a d&d table. AND you don't have to feel boxed in by your character. Say you make your character quiet bc you're nervous, but then you get more comfortable with playing and want to interact more. It's a story, so there's character development!

Tldr; don't overthink it so much. Every personality is an addition to a d&d game.

I feel you - I felt the same anxiety. What really helped me was to work with the DM to really build myself a character. We really got into some of the key points of her backstory, really fleshed out her traits, and I leaned hard into them. It gave me a bit more of a script I can work with, so it's not so much "spontaneous" as it is "staying in-character." I try not to meta-game, I just think, ok, what would she do? Not all games have to be fast-paced, either, so you don't have to make split-second decisions at all times. What I've seen a couple of friends who were similarly struggling with the spontaneity do is play a joke character as their first, and just lean hard into it. My one friend played a senile Tortle who was just constantly was talking about how this dungeon would be his tomb and thankfully, this would keep his horrible grandchildren from being able to steal from him. Went over really well. and she was able to just be silly and get more comfortable.

D&D isn't just creativity, it's also about problem solving and team work. Even if you play the blandest most generic character you can still be a big asset to your group. I've found a unique perspective on things is always refreshing.

Another thing you could focus on is rules, there's a lot of them and it's hard to remember them all. If you don't feel comfortable creating new material than memorize the existing stuff.

Hey buddy, I've played with a bunch of people, and I gotta say everyone has their own level of roleplaying. I have played with people that don't really get into character (they ask general questions to the DM about what they want to do) and I've had the opposite (only when the session is over will they get out of character).

Whatever you can bring to the table is perfectly fine. The only thing we all hate is when someone takes the game hostage or is unreasonable to other players/DM.

Here's the secret: build the character you know you can play. Want to be a gruff straightforward sorceror who burns things to the ground and asks questions later? Do it.

Not everyone CAN play the whimsical, witty Bard who comes up with incredible plans and convincing arguments. And that's perfectly fine. It is healthy to have a variety, that's why we play in a group. I tried to play a grim character and really couldn't restrain myself from making jokes, so I lean into what I know I can do.

Honestly, give it a go because over time these players will see your commitment and you WILL improve your improv.

Look into your local game stores and see if any run adventure league or other pen and paper games (adventure league is d&d but with strict rules on how the dm is supposed to run it)

While I can't primise a good group, I feel safe in saying that most are very welcoming of newbies and the main reason to not accept new players is that the group is already too large (it's hard to give everyone a turn out of combat after about 6 players and combat can easily run 1/2 hour per round when you go above that)

try to start with a group of friends. Also, you can always model your first character after yourself and your own personality so that the roleplay doesnt feel strenuous. it happens alot in my home games. also think of dnd as less spontaneous creativity (unless your the DM lol) and more "Yes, and...". your only job is to add small actions or dialogue to a scene based on information given, you shouldnt have to come up with an insane amount on your own

I felt awkward at first too. So, to try and break into my character mindset, I created a journal for her. Started with a few entries for key points in her background story, outlining her perspective on these events. Then after each session did a new entry. This was all on my own, only the DM and myself saw it. It really helped, plus gave me reference notes on what was happening. If you have the time I recommend.

I am a DM and for whatever reason my characters are pretty.... boring. But thats good sometimes. Sometimes your group needs an everyman or a strong silent type or a "support " character in the roleplay sense. As long as youre not actively trying to ruin others fun you cant do it wrong.

And D&D is all about spontaneous creativity.

It doesn't have to be. The joy about creating your character is that you can totally pre-plan how they're going to act. The spontaneous creativity usually comes from more of the group setting and seeing how everyone else's characters and choice intersect.

If you're intimidated by the freedom of choice, you should start by making a lawful good aligned character. I say that because they're characters who trust the system and believe that laws are there to protect us. It gives you a pretty consistent way to play your character that can create some great moments in games where typically everyone tends to venture towards neutral or chaotic.

An easy example would be an evil aligned character offers to help your party out in exchange for their freedom. The party agrees because that character's assistance could be very helpful. But as a lawfully good character, there would be no way you would agree with teaming up with somebody who's broken the law repeatedly. You're strictly by the book and that's that.

It creates for some fun tensions and it's all in how your character is made.

Roll20 is amazing if you haven't tried it, it's an online virtual tabletop with a lot of useful additional features, including a "find a group" tool where you can find a group like it was a multiplayer video game.

Here is something I would recommend. I just started myself. Join a Pay-to-Play group on roll20. Since the DM views you as a client, rather than just someone taking a seat, they tend to be much more welcoming and supportive. Their success is about you having fun. Also, the others in the game also are paying, so there is less chaos.

I had my first session last week. I had such a blast that I couldn’t sleep. The next day, a joke that one of the other players made about me was triggering my social anxiety. Did that person not have fun because of me? Am I wasting my time?

I reached out to the DM and he was very open and engaging. He helped me reach out to the guy and make sure everything was ok. Turns out it was. I was worried for nothing. We talked about our characters and now I feel like I can bounce off his character more.

Had it been a free-game or a close group of friends, I may have just ghosted, wallowing in my own anxiety. But, because I invested in the game, the DM is invested in me.

Honestly, look on meetup for a local game shop that runs games. They're mostly all running a thing called "adventures league" that simplifies a fair bit of the stuff and makes drop in/drop out really easy.

In some ways starting with strangers can be helpful because if you don't click with the people you can just bail and not have to worry about it impacting other relationships

Human interaction sucks. Elf interaction is best.

Any tips for beginners? My son is interested in getting into it. I got him that starter set and tried it out with him, but that manual is daunting.

I would say find a group either through your local game store or a site like roll20

The player's handbook can be daunting, but it will be a little less so if you start at the beginning and make a 1st level character; pick the race and class then decide on background and fill out a character sheet

This is kinda irrelevant, but I’m about to start playing dnd with some friends. How seriously should I take it so that it’s the most fun?

That will vary by group (primarily the GM) and some groups will be full of drama and world shaking events while others will be a bunch of fuckups having a grand adventure.

The only firm advice on this is to have fun with the journey and accept the setbacks along with the epic badassery; be true to your character and let everyone else be true to theirs.

Im currently listening to Critical Role and while you're not going to get a group as epic as that bunch of voice actors, they set a great example of how to get into the shoes of your character.

Funny, I also thought of DND pretty much immediately

Along with the fantasy of regular travel, speaking multiple languages and having money!

This is why I love Drugs.

I get to explore a new world and a new persona along with getting the human interaction we all need as well.

Yes! You can just relax and find a group that makes it a silly and funny experience or you can find a group like mine that does some joking around but also try to actually make something as part of playing. Making stories together! Dungeons and Dragons is SUCH a healthy hobby to have, its social and creative and it can even be therapeutic.

Any tips on someone who just really cannot get into this?

I just get bored. There is no incentive for me to care. I quite like video games, where everything is sort of real and tangible (or at least visual), but DnD really just doesn't do it for me.

Also, all the adventures seem really cheesy with cheesy names, races, classes, etc... I mean, I get that this is the point, but it still feels lame to be playing in one giant Lord of the Rings rip off.

I think it requires a good DM and players.

If you haven't tried it, see if there's a game store near you running adventure league games. If you have and don't like it, it just may not be for you (although it's more likely that you got a bad DM)

although it's more likely that you got a bad DM)

I don't know, he seems pretty okay. Everyone else seems to enjoy the game.... :(

If you're not enjoying it, it's not the right table for you. A lot of D&D gamers enjoy goofy, off-the-wall puns and jokes. That's not as much my style, but I don't mind running that sort of thing from time to time, so I often DM instead. I'm sure they were a fine DM for that table, but it sounds like you need something different, and that's totally OK. I sympathize.

I've built empires from dust and memory, spun them across time and space. I've woven nightmares and prophecy into flesh and cyberware, and lit cataclysm beneath ancient cities as old as time. I've driven impossible things back from reality and sealed them away behind vast fortresses of impenetrable walls and clever traps, unflinching defenders and geography so alien and weird they are bulwarks all their own. Every detail opens the doors for something more, something wonderful or terrible or heartbreaking or awesome.

And when my players joke at the expense of my NPCs or give up on pronouncing the proper names of my Eldritch horrors, I give them a laugh and keep rolling. Because at the end it is mostly about having fun with people you enjoy, even if you're enjoying things in different ways. I enjoy these limitless acts of creation, the fractally-complex worlds where my friends caper and cavort. If they scratch the scenery and ask for more, I serve it up willingly, and if they pass on it for a pun that's OK too.

That's the promise behind D&D - not in the sense of a guarantee or an assurance, but in the sense of potential: an open book, whose lines and figures are the substructure for your imagination and whose rules and limits are there to set the stage for you. Find the stage you're looking for, and you'll never want to let it go.

Have you tried other pnp rpgs? There’s more than just dnd. Maybe something like Shadowrun is more to your taste? Or Vampire the Masquerade? Or even Call of Cthulhu? There’s lots of different kind of roleplays, more than just your usual dnd ”feels like lotr ripoff”. That being said, within dnd as well it’s very possible to create very unique stories with a good gm.

Perhaps it could be fun!

It's funny, because I used to play on Moonguard WoW roleplaying server... So it's not that I am not a massive nerd. I just haven't enjoyed DnD up to this point at all.

As I said, "more likely"

So it's probably just not for you. Not everyone has to like everything.

Have you played Space Marine or Dawn of War?

Warhammer 40 000 is a published roleplaying setting.

Star Wars is too, there are roleplaying books and groups to find for a lot of settings.

Sad

Not at all, but I do accept that it's not for everyone.

I kinda have maladaptive daydreaming from truama and dissociation so I'll never have a problem with this lmao

I’m the same! Was just thinking, “this will never be an issue for me.” Lol

Lol. I'm like dang i kinda want to lessen this daydreaming, but I mean I didn't know people lose daydreaming

I found my people.

Welcome home brother

One of us! One of us!

The next step would be translating into something tangible, a story, drawing, song, whatever

True. A good example of this is I have always loved seeing what people come up with in r/writingprompts and how some of them end up being wildly different interpretations of what I had pictured clicking into the thread. The other day rather than simply read some of the entries, I also decided to partake and write a little something up in there for the first time. I loved it. I doubt it was particularly great but that's OK. I still felt accomplished somewhat and happy to have exuded the creativity.

I like this one as well , really good question and amazing answers so far

People always look at me funny but this is how I fall asleep. I fantasize about something fun. From realistic to absurdly crazy. It keeps my mind from wandering and getting stressed out.

I may sometimes let my mind softly wander about something I like --- you know, to loosen it up. On some occasions, though, where it lands appears to wind up keeping me awake, heh heh.

I'm an L.M.T (Licenced Massage Therapist) and I can confirm that if I didn't do this regularly while working I'd probably shoot myself. Of course I'm also focused on my work but the multi-tasking helps keep me happy.

Are you saying you delve into your fantasies while giving other people massages.....? I feel like this should be a NSFW AMA

Mostly I think about my garden or projects I'm working on, lol, perv.

I was looking for a way to use recycling in my art and found some cool youtube videos of people turning household trash into cool tiny elf houses and whatnot. I started a model of my own and it's gotten out of control, but in a good way. I dream about it. What was originally planned to be about 1 foot wide and 3 feet tall is now about 4 feet square and is mounted on a wall in my living room because it got to be too big to just lean it and work on it. Winding staircases, a lanai, an observation deck, a chill smoking room. There are a few steps to take it from the base structure to the point where I can paint it, but I just keep adding to the base structure because it is so satisfying and cathartic. Dream on, dreamers.

This is so cool! What are you going to do with it when you finish? Do you have any pictures of your work in progress?

Yes! This 1000%!! I feel like at least with American education, there isn't nearly enough genuinely compositional creativity, as in creating something new and not recreating something that already exists.

Between band, orchestra, choir, drama, art, and English, art is the only class I can think of that actually focuses on the individual's interpretation of a prompt or idea.

All of the music classes and drama (in my high school experience, TX) have their funding tied to the end of the year contest (UIL), so the music and acting students don't do much more than get drilled (aptly I might add) by the Director, and a lot of the students think that's all that music or drama is and get discouraged and never play or act after graduation. Art has their contest too, but again, the focus is on the individual to the best of my knowledge.

Oh, and God forbid you get a creative writing assignment after fifth grade, what about the poor tests that won't get bought! The college board will starve! /s

The education system took the most subjective thing you can teach and forced the kids to conform to a test, it's disgusting.

When we daydream, we have the same chemicals running in our system that would've ran if the daydream was happening for real. Of course, what we would feel if the daydream came true would be much more. But just by thinking about good stuff, we trick our mind into believing it's happening for real and it tries to react in the same way. The human power of imagination is tremendous

Hahahaha yeah I have aphantasia so rip

I just recently discovered that not everyone 'imagines' this way and that some people can actually visualize. I never realized that people saw so vividly in their mind. I thought the aphantasia was normal lol

Yeah same, it sucks

How do I draw my wife in a clown costume..... doing that?

Great advice. I try to engage in the things that brought me the most joy as a child, and address the disappointment I felt at a young age by revisiting things I couldn't do then. Let's say I was restricted from having X toy, then I'll look into it now and sometimes indulge in either artwork or videogames or even the actual toy subject if it is available. A perfect example is transformers.

Now I can buy those toys for my kids and experience not only the giddiness on my own, but also see them explore the toy and experience it through their eyes.

I spend most of my day daydreaming. Either completely focused, or on the side while doing something else. I'm like addicted to it.

Just yesterday we were contemplating what it would be like if gorillas were genetically mixed with hornets ...it was terrifying

Im a married 25 year old man with a mortgage and full time job. But when im home alone, sometimes i break out the nerf gun and pretend to be an action Star and shoot imaginary guys and be like John Wick. I know its immature but it just makes me feel happy for a few mins.

This one made me very happy! Thank you!

thank you for this! i've been feeling a bit jaded/uninspired lately and i can't seem to shake it off. this is definitely what i've been missing.

This one is my favorite

Good one! I think for me it really makes sense because doing this gives me a general vision of where I wanna go or what is important for me.

I just realized that I'm already doing this. Sometimes when I'm bored I just let my mind flow for a bit, imagening crazy scenes, building and changing shapes in my mind, just trying to imagine things that are as weird as possible. It's kinda like how they depict drug hallucinations in TV but conciously. It's really fun to just let your creativity explode in your mind and I also feel like it's a good exercise for your ability to imagine things.

I fantasize about a better version of me. The guy who is taller, better-looking, who expertly handles every social situation that I botched, and doesn't treat every girl he gets close with like garbage. I think of that guy a lot. Is this healthy?

That's what i always do before going to bed. It's not always nice stuff but i like being in control. Wish i could draw properly, even if i have very little creativity i could at least copy/do random stuff.

Your Deep♂️Dark♂️Fantasies♂️

I've tried delving into my fantasies. I don't think science has caught up yet, though :(

This is one I really struggle with. I find myself to be a really pragmatic person and almost get annoyed when people say things that are just clearly not gonna work. Ive been fortunate enough though to have some awesome friends that are constantly voicing their aspirations and ideas. I've had to learn to force myself to not automatically look how this "obviously will not work" and actually have started entertaining the ideas as well. Its really carried over to other aspects of my life too and really helped me be excited for whatever possibilities come up on my journey on this strange rock

Hmm.. you know what else I daydream about? How things work. I imagine how the pieces of mechanical objects must fit together. I invent things in my head. I sorta "fill in the blank" for what must go in a spot of an object where I can't see the whole thing - what would that piece need to look like to achieve the function of this thing? I wonder if you'd enjoy things like that too? Since it's a bit more based in reality, if you find yourself tired out by fantastical fantasies.

I dreamt about some amazing large house I owned. Recently purchased, so all rooms were open to new purpose and interior design. Then I woke up and realized I'll never own such a house.

r/nevillegoddard may change your mind

Seconded. Sometimes you just gotta let your mind wander. Play "what if ninjas" in your head if you don't have anything else to do. You're there, going about your business, and suddenly, ninjas attack! What items around you do you use to fight them off? Where do you hide? Do you hide? What sick flying kicks do you do? Does anyone else around get involved? What are their skills? Whose side are they on? Etc (:

Delve into your fantasies every once in a while.

Had a job where I delved into other people's fantasies... it was scary and weird.

I've watched "The Little Prince" roughly 36 times this week already.

Maybe your imagination will just be enough to draw and create a wonderful story for a small child stuck in the monotonous side of life.
That's good enough for me.

I always liked drawing but the reason I don't want to make a living out of it is because I don't like drawing something I don't want to draw.

I prefer drawing for friends and family, but most of the time I use my writing block for notching down ideas and drawing ideas. What I draw usually never makes it past that stage but I feel if it just stayed in my head I'd forget it.

It's so much easier for me to start something if I picture it in my head and on paper.

I have incredible adventures regularly - I am a scuba instructor and dive with tiger sharks and manta rays and in incredible places. It is so different from my regular day job in a mega city that it is a huge escape

I wish I could, having aphantasia sucks major balls

Great post!

As an add on - never shit on a kid's creativity, no matter how far out there. Dream dream dream! It's free and its awesome.

Best answer yet

I do this when I go to sleep. I feel like it sets me up for happy dreams instead of letting daily worries keep me awake.

Instructions unclear. Invaded Poland.

This is wonderful. When I was still just a tiny potato with a bowl cut I used to say whatever nonsense I’d arrived at through pure stream of consciousness and it used to drive my parents nuts so they’d strongly discourage it. At the same time they would really encourage my art and say how creative I was so the discouraging never quite took. Now that I’m a 27 year old potato sans bowl cut, I still let my thoughts run wild and it helps me in so many ways I couldn’t help to express including my art. I’m just a lot less vocal about it unless I’m certain I can get someone to laugh.

Weird example if you’ll permit it: someone was singing the Bill Nye theme song today, and 5 minutes later I’d decided that in some parallel universe there’s a Bill Nye the appliance guy. He’s just some working class stiff who’s life is plagued by an incessant theme song in the back of his mind that’s slowly driving him to the brink of madness.

I love producing music exactly for this reason

I have the opposite problem.

I delve into my fantasies all the godman time....

yeah I think about sex with my crush every night

*looks out the window, sees Chitauri fly over my home town*

I am Iron Man

​

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What if you never had the creativity to begin with?

My problem is I do this too much, I feel like Walter Mitty

This always turns sexual.

I dreamt about cuddling with a girl and cried.

I like to imagine that everyone can be happy and healthy. I know it won’t happen but I like to imagine at least.

Or just take LSD

Time to picture being happy

I like to imagine myself blowing up our planet and killing all humankind in the process, does that count?

/r/Worldbuilding focuses on this sort of thing.

This is so true and it is why I, in my sixth decade, love the fantasy genre, especially those stories set in other worlds.

This is one of the great joys of life for me. I mean, I do have kind of a love/hate relationship with it, because I get hung up on the fact that it's not, technically, real, and there's a sense of unfulfilled longing to it... Also probably makes me more complacent in life because it means I'm easily contented...

But on the other hand, I am able to make myself happy. I've been through a lot of terrible stuff (losing my home, and both parents before the age of 30), and... Don't get me wrong, that stuff was hard, but I feel like I bounced back from much faster than most people. That's because I enjoy my own company so much; I don't need any place or anyone to make me feel at home, because my home is within myself.

, although they don't exist in the real world, do exist in your mind

m-mom?

Instructions unclear, drew hentai. Send halp.

I love auto erotic asphyxiation this is what I delve into to keep myself young, I’m afraid of when I get older I won’t do it as much

I feel like I really lost a lot of my imagination and creativity after a pretty traumatic time when I was a teenager and I really miss it.

what if your fantasy is 3 chicks at the same time

You never know - you could be sitting on an imagination which is capable of creating best-selling novels or world class paintings.

Or inspire you to do other, possible things, in your job

This shit just makes you depressed though

Buy a lottery ticket. $1 or $2 and you can sit there and daydream how you'll spend the money if you win.

Show up on time. People feel that their time is respected if you do and you keep adding to your accountability and credibility bank

The habits that have made life less stressful for me sound boring and lame:

​

Eat real food.

Get sleep.

Be on time.

Look decent.

Be polite.

Do what you say you're going to do.

​

But boy do they make a difference. I spent my twenties and thirties fighting against these things, believing they'd make me boring. Well, they have, but I'm happier.

These are things we should be teaching our kids. They shouldn’t have to figure this stuff out in their 20/30s/40s. I’m trying my hardest to instil these virtues in my daughter because, as much as I love my parents, they let us do what we want with little to no discipline when I was growing up and it made life harder as an adult.

This stuff doesn’t make you boring. It makes you an adult. There are too many children in their 20s/30s and 40s these days that never had to grow up.

You don’t even need a lot of “rules” to teach your children these things. 95% of what make a good, healthy person boils down to: 1. Respect other people 2. Respect yourself

If you can empathize with others, or at least commit to treating them as though they are deserving of consideration and decency, and if you can treat yourself the same way, you’re golden.

#1 was instilled in me from a young age, so it’s never something I’ve had any issues with, people generally consider me very nice and polite.

#2 on the other hand, I never quite figured out...

Sounds like an Asian heritage (to which I can empathize, if that’s the case).

Kids really are a blank canvas when they’re babies. From age 1-3 they develop really fast and this is when you should be teaching them these things.

I remember my daughter seeing a bug and trying to kill it when she was about 2. I stopped her, explained that all life deserves a chance to live and it’s wrong to kill things. A year later she was sat watching tv with a worm she found and named “wormy” she’s almost 9 now and empathetic, almost to a fault. I couldn’t be more proud of her.

Picked up this trick from my kiddo’s therapist (ADHD). We have three house rules and that’s it.

1.) Ask first 2.) Be respectful 3.) Be appropriate.

Best rules for all of life.

Exactly, a lot of those rules fall into place if you can foster empathy in your kids, and the way to really internalize that is to treat your kids that way - model the behavior you want them to learn.

You need rules.

I don't really see number 2 happening ever, I know myself too well.

you’re golden.

So are you Bananapanda123, so are you :)

The quickest way to lose my respect is to lower yourself to being my equal.

How does one teach an adult how to grow up?

You don't. They have to learn the lesson themselves.

You can give a lesson first. They can learn from mistakes not trying to be pandentic but you can at least warn of common pitfalls or mistakes people make.

You totally can, but (at least in my experience) people have to make the mistakes themselves before they actually learn. I'm going through that right now with my roommate and his fiancee buying a house for way more than it's worth, with problems they can't afford to fix, in an insane location (right next to her parents house, which she has yet to move out of at 29), and doing it all in an order that makes no sense. Despite having bought a house two years ago, he doesn't really seem to want to listen to me when I explain all the ways this is a bad idea, and I just have to let it happen and suppress my urge to say "I told you so" when things go badly.

Same thing with a friend of mine buying yet another house with the 2nd GF who he's been with even less time than the last. Some people don't even learn from their own mistakes.

Boy are you right! My SIL raised her son with practically zero rules and as an adult he is the most insufferable person I’ve ever met. Has zero respect for anyone. Always questioning things and making sure he wrings every benefit possible out of a situation. If something doesn’t benefit him he couldn’t care less about it. This includes his own mother’s funeral.
I haven’t seen him in 15 years and hope I never do again. I lay the blame squarely on his parents. He was doomed from an early age. Luckily they lived across the country and we only saw him on holidays.

to my defense, it's not that I never got to grow up, it's that I never got to be a child really

My biggest problem, and my parents even tried to get me in shape. In some ways I'm disciplined, or at least self sufficient, but in other ways I'm constantly shirking responsibility to do what I want to do. It shockingly hasn't bit me in the ass yet, but I'm waiting for that shoe to drop.

as much as I love my parents, they let us do what we want with little to no discipline when I was growing up and it made life harder as an adult.

Boy do I relate to this! My parents both had difficult childhoods and didn't want my brother and I to endure what they did but inadvertently ended up spoiling us while leaving us to our own devices. I'm 30 now and still feel like a child and clueless as to how to juggle the responsibilities of an adult. This frusterates my husband as he was raised to be very responsible. Like he was expected to contribute to the family income by age 15.

Parents don't spoil your kids! They'll thank you later!

I agree. Maybe it's my generation X, but I too had more freedom to do as I pleased from parents. I don't have kids of my own but you're right, parents should be instilling these values so they don't end up like me: 40 and just now figuring things out!

Props to you for saying it and teaching it, man.

I guess my parents generation had an other time. They just try to let us experience these things instead uf beat discipline into us. The freedom we had, lead us to a more open wordview and we learned to do things out of reasons, not just becouse ”thats how you do it”. Thats maybe the reason why we respect lgbtq persons ect now.

But it doesn’t make you interesting enough for someone to be attracted to you. I think this is the problem with me

Do interesting things. Be excited about something. Passion is attractive.

Our parents did teach us this. We didn't listen because we were too into long hair and rock 'n' roll.

I feel like maybe these aren't things that many people have the ability to learn in their 20s\30s. I'm 28 and have just started to realize that doing these kinds of things make life so much easier. I was in the military and have always been told to do this or that but it just doesn't really sink in.

You are absolutely right. But it's difficult to teach these values to children /teens, depending on their character, that's a lesson they have to learn on their own.

I clearly remember being taught this stuff as a kid, but I also remember that none of the other kids cared about this stuff and I often found myself envious of the kids who weren't expected to care about it. At the time I realized that I am of the new generation that will be taking over for the old generation so thus fuck them.

This is the kind of stuff that you can't teach because the younger generations won't listen to it until they grow old enough to understand why it's important.

But, how does one look decent tho? (16 year old asking)

Brush teeth, comb hair and wear clothes that look nice. You don’t need to look fancy, but just nice.

I've never found that it improves my life to be treated better by the kind of people who will treat you better if you wear nice clothes. It is a necessary part of life sometimes but not something I'd want to spend any more time on than I have to in order to get by.

I don't look nicer for other people, I look nicer for myself. I used to think that looking decent wasn't something that mattered, but I eventually realized that a lot of my negative thoughts centered around how shitty I thought I looked. The first time you wear clothes that you really like, when your hair and everything else comes together...it's pretty liberating to realize that I can actually look good if I try. It certainly helped me a lot.

If you're totally comfortable with yourself and your style, you do you my dude. Just wanna add my two cents that looking decent helped me a lot, as someone that up until very recently thought that stuff was a waste of time.

I’m just giving advice on how to look decent. I dont know how it would better your life/

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Bull shit. Being “ugly” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t or can’t look put together. Maintain your hygiene, look up a style guide (fashion can be very affordable), and work on posture. Being traditionally attractive doesn’t mean you shouldn’t follow simple guidelines, and same goes for traditionally unattractive.

I don't know if it's true or not but don't get yourself down about it. Plently of ugly people find love. But as the wise sage Ru Paul has said 'If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?'

So what, you wanna dress like shit and be unkempt so you're extra ugly? We've got to play the hand we're dealt, no excuses.

Kate Moss has a wang eye and fang teeth.

You need to take care of yourself, get a decent haircut, and wear well fitting clothes. This is 75% of attractiveness.

20% is actually liking yourself (you may have heard this be called confident)

The last 5% is what you were born with. I'm not saying it doesn't play a part. It's just so minor that if you are complaining about the way you look, it's because you are willfully ignoring all the things that are actually possible to change. So you focus on the one you can't. Cause it's easier than doing something.

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You've just admitted you're not taking care of yourself - that's 50% right there.

You also sound depressed. I hope you have already realised that - because messages like this come from a place of depression.

You can have a burnt face, be disfigured. People will still find you attractive. These people still find love.

So yeah, stop excusing yourself and start working on your depression - it's hard work but it's better than hating yourself every day.

Also, take away her skincare regime, designer clothes & money, and Kate Moss would look like every other London heroin addict with a swivel eye. She is not that "beautiful". She just has a shit ton of confidence.

I spent 29 years of my life as a 5'4 guy who struggled to get dates, and believed the same as you, I was hopelessly short and ugly. After I transitioned, I see that mentality from the other side, and all I can think when I see posts like yours, or think back to myself, is that you and I are/were fucking idiots for believing that. You are a person with fucking value, your looks are meaningless as they aren't permanent, they grow, change.

Stop giving up hope and accepting failure, because that mentality is why you fail, dumbass.

I think he means care about your appearance and strive to present yourself in a way where people view you positively on sight. Obviously everyone looks different, and some people just frankly are more physically attractive getting out of bed in the morning, but everyone looks better when they wear clean, wrinkle-free clothes, and everyone feels better if you smell good. Even just endeavoring to smile more, or at least not frown, helps your appearance.

Take a shower, comb your hair, (guys) keep your beard and moustache neat (and shave it off if it's too thin), wear clean clothes, pick a consistent clothing style (if you can afford to change it up), and practice good posture (slouching while standing and walking is not decent)!

Get rid of any man bun and fucking dreadlocks too. And piercings.

You're bringing personal taste into it. People can look presentable with a man bun, and yes, even with dreadlocks.

Don’t be so serious oh my god.

Sorry I stupidly thought this was a forum for discussion.

Isn’t that what we are doing ? 🤔 I’m just telling you you think I made a serious comment, I did not, I don’t need to be told that it’s « my preferences ».

Piercings are fine if they match your style. The key is to find a style and be decent in that style. We don't all have to look the same.

A piercing doesn’t necessarily make you look similar to mainstream, since it’s so widespread.

These things are fine in the right context though

Beyond brushing teeth, combing hair, showing and such, go to a clothing store.

Not like Walmart or even Urban outfitters and such, go to a higher end suit and tie type place. One with lots of higher end clothing.

Get yourself sized, thats the first step. This is usually done for free. Ask them questions and try stuff on. Take lots of pictures in the mirror. See how things fit, what you like and don't like.

You do not need to buy anything. Take your pictures and sort them into categories. Stuff to wear when it's hot, and stuff for when it's cold. Stuff that's formal, and stuff more casual. Stuff you like more and stuff you like less.

Now you hit up winners, walmart, donation places (in Canada, the salvation army for example). And look for similar designs and fits. You'd be surprised at what you can find.

I love cosplay but I'm not much for crafting stuff. For $80 at winners and the salvation army, I found a cool fedora hat which I stuck a old style printed train ticket in the liner around the top, I found a white button up, some slacks with suspenders, a vest, and a thick brown overcoat.

Went to the dollar store and picked up a set of pens and a note pad. All dressed up, I liked like a 1920s journalist. It's not character specific but I've done a number of vampire the masquerade table tops in costume, and gone to a few conventions.

I love the old school journalist style and have a few different outfits like it. The wife thinks it's funny but she digs it and sometimes leads into some bedroom activity.

You never know what you can find or what to wear unless you ask around. So start by getting yourself sized and ask the people at these stores.

Now I'm imagining a 16-year-old going to school dressed as a 1920s journalist.

Perks of being a wallflower you say?

To go deeper on 'wear nice clothes', what you want is 1) clean, undamaged clothes. No brainer but sometimes it's good to clarify

2) wear clothes that FIT. You wear something that fits you, you and the clothes look 1000x better no matter what. Not too tight, not baggy and frumpy.

You might not be able to get to that stage until you stop growing. I remember when I was 16 I got a brand new, perfectly fitting Victoria's Secret bra and then 2 weeks later my boobs grew 2 cups sizes :( then again later when I was 18 my birth control made them grow 1 more size.

3) have some modest clothes available. I get the culture movement of I wanna wear what I want and if you dont like it dont look is great for just out and about stuff when you're young. But. There comes a time where looking sexy or stylishly revealing is just inappropriate. Like if you are doing anything professional with people age 50 or above. It just makes the feel uncomfortable, and it can begin making you loose opportunities. And besides, you dont want people to be distracted for your wonderful face. Other large area of skin will do that, really because it reflects light into the eye unlike clothing so it pulls attention

No one seems to teach girls how to dress anymore or explains the reason behind it. But I mean im only 21 but these poor high school girls are just left floundering around with stupid modesty rules without some logic behind it

Start working and using hygiene/skin products. Cut down on soda and junk food.

Get a good looking haircut/glasses that matches your face. Hair products help.

Wear cologne and deodorant, and shower daily.

Buy clothes that fit you well + classic (blue jeans, flannels, white t-shirt). Same with jackets (bomber, denim), shoes (boots, Converse/Vans).

Get watches, belts, shoes that match (same color/complement).

Mix and match colors, patterns, and textures.

If you wanna develop your eye, just go to the main stores (Zara, Uniqlo, I love Marshall’s: we’re talking solid jeans or Nikes for $20) and window shop.

Boxer briefs.

Don’t slouch. And walk like you have somewhere to be.

Look people in the eyes, smile, make small talk. It helps if you’re naturally curious about people and find some common ground.

And the golden rule: build those forearms and rolls your sleeves up.

This took me almost a decade to work out btw so don’t feel overwhelmed, it’ll come with time. A man is more than just his clothes and I had to learn this myself.

Work with what you got to maximize it.

Maintain basic personal hygiene. (Brush teeth twice a day, shower and wash your body, wash & condition your hair if it needs it, wear deodorant.)

Maintain basic style. Get a flattering haircut, wear clothes that look good on your body. Don't know how? Watch Queer Eye for tips, ask a friend (or even a stranger) with a similar shape in the area in question who looks pretty decent, if you're a guy learn to maintain your beard OR shave it properly, if you're a girl, learn to enhance with makeup. (Guys can use makeup too, no shame. Nothing like concealer and foundation etc., to cover skin issues, if you're not into the full-face look.)

Maintain basic fitness. Find activities you enjoy that get the blood pumping, and do them as often as possible. Work out. Healthy body, healthy mind. You don't have to have the physique of a God or Goddess, you just have to get in the habit of movement.

Eat healthy, and not in excess.

Sleep regularly, and not in excess.

And, obviously, avoid drugs and alcohol. One or two drinks here and there when you're legally able to have them, of course, probably won't fuck with your looks too much. Too many in one night will fuck your appearance the next day or two. Too many over a lifetime, well... You can Google to see the effects if you don't already know.

Well, I don't mean "be attractive" - it's more a sense of showing up, of making an effort for the benefit of people who have to be around you. Decent in the sense of not offensive. Clean clothes, clean body, that sort of thing.

Actually I feel fraudulent saying all this because I have a young baby and I feel like shit a lot of the time because of lack of sleep! And 16 year old me would certainly not have taken my own advice. Do your own thing buddy if it makes you happy.

I'm 31 now and man do I understand what you're saying big time. I spent alot of my 20s locked up for years at a time and not doing any of what you listed. Once I hit my 30's I made huge changes and I'm still making them and trying to make other changes. But it just feels so much better doing these things. I hear guys at work who are miserable and in their 50's and have been that way their whole life. It's good motivation but it always makes me think that that could be me if I dont continue to do the things I've been doing. I used to think the same things about being boring. But as I get older I realize the more boring I am the happier i am. I that makes sense. Dont get me wrong. I go out and have fun but I'm not going crazy. I enjoy life and try to be a good person and people I've known a long time may see me as boring now but man am i happier than ever.

Looking decent is a big one. Feel like shit? Put on a cute outfit. Having a bad day? Rock that mini skirt. How you look really changes your mood, at least for me it does. For guys just change the clothing article to whatever you fancy. Or you can rock that mini skirt too. You do you.

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This definitely - your surroundings really are a reflection and an expression of your inner state.

I feel there was a missed opportunity to use 'real' more than you did.

Eat real food.

Get real sleep.

Be real on time.

Look real decent.

Be real polite.

...

I've got nothing for that last one, though.

Really do what you say you're going to do?

The minute I stopped worrying about being “boring”, or “lame” my happiness in life increased 100%.

If I could wear a boilersuit, jumpsuit, overalls, or other functional clothing every day I would.

I'm saving this so I can teach these to my sons

Nothing I hate more than being fucked over by someone who says one thing and then does the opposite. It's happened enough to either me or my friends that I feel like I'm developing trust issues where I never had them before. I'm usually a very trusting person, but when someone says they'll do something and just doesn't follow through on it, it becomes impossible to trust them.

E - story time for anyone who cares: I'm a musician and most of the time, the sole reason someone goes to a particular school is to study with a particular teacher. I met a teacher I really liked at a summer program a few years ago and I liked his approach and the way he played. I went back next summer and made sure to keep in touch with him and made sure he knew who I was. And of course I tried to play my best in his masterclasses and lessons and group coachings so he knew that I was good and would hopefully want to teach me (auditions for the school he's at were the following spring). The audition rolls around, I played really well. The teacher always seemed to like me, seemed to want me in his studio. I ended up getting nearly a full tuition scholarship to the school, but he didn't admit me to his studio (there are multiple teachers of my instrument). I say, eh, whatever and I went for it, even knowing that I'd be studying with someone else. He said that there's a possibility that I could study with him the following year. I start school, things go well, I'm improving, I see him around a lot and am always friendly, even asking him for advice from time to time so he knows I'm serious. I always make sure I'm prepared for his masterclasses and even ask him for some lessons. Really trying to be a model student.

Year 2 rolls around and I ask him if it's possible if I could switch into his studio. No big deal, he has an extra spot, right? Wrong. He said no, a second time, knowing full well that HE is the reason I'm here. At this point, I'm thinking "okay wtf man, I moved 2,000 miles away from home to ANOTHER COUNTRY FOR YOU and you deny me again? Do you not like me or something?" I'm really fucking insulted at this point. I emailed him about it but never got a response. It hurt and really pissed me off but I tried to forget about it... until my best friend - who did his entire undergrad with the guy (so it's not a question of "does he know me well enough" or some shit like that) - got rejected from his studio for his Master's.

I really looked up him and it's just really disappointing. I'm mad, but mostly incredibly disappointed with him. It shows that he only takes students that could make him look good and potentially further his own career interests, which is fucking disgusting. The worst part to me is because the music world is so small, I don't want to burn this bridge - you never know who you may have to reach out to for help. Still, what an asshole.

I've thought this too! Like having a routine is predictable

I disagree that they are boring!

You can eat real food that is very exciting. You can even sleep hours that are abnormal, as long as they’re regular. Looking decent means different things for different people again, doesn’t have to be boring. And of course, if you say you’re going to do interesting things, doing them is not boring :-)

Sometimes I feel that my life is boring, but I also realize my boring comfortable life is desirable to lots of other people

Tbh I just need to start traveling again

As I’ve gotten older, I find these things attractive in another person. A woman who is on top of shit, ambitious, has her life together and takes care of herself is sexy as hell.

I like this a lot. It reminds me of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:

  1. Be impeccable with your word
  2. Don't take anything personally
  3. Don't make assumptions
  4. Always do your best

One of the most simple but impactful things I've ever read.

Wow, this spoke to me. I’m trying to get over the FOMO of my early 30s and convincing myself that I don’t have to do something Instagram-worthy every day I have off in order for it to “count”.

Staying home on the weekend to catch up on sleep or chores used to make me feel like I’d wasted a day I could be having some grand adventure. I’d go backpacking on days off to relieve stress only to be overwhelmed immediately once I returned, and on longer vacations I’d burn myself out trying to experience everything I could.

Now that I’m older I’ve come to realize that a weekend spent getting your life in order can be just as rewarding as one spent in the woods, and a vacation day spent lounging in a hammock or by the pool is pretty much essential for surviving the days where I climb a mountain or park hop at Disney. Still figuring out the perfect balance of the two that makes me happiest, but the older I get the more I find I need the boring, sensible stuff in order to enjoy the exciting, adventurous stuff.

they'd make me boring. Well, they have, but I'm happier.

21 y/o here: nailed all lf these life habits when I moved out. It's really easy to not care about being boring when nobody else's opinion matters.

Recipe for a low stress life right there

That's a good list. I used to tell my high school students that if they were looking to hold down a job, if they did two of those things - show up on time, and do what you said you're going to do - they would be already be ahead of 3/4 of the people who worked there.

I look at it as embracing being human. Humans sleep. Humans eat a variety of wholesome foods. Humans work, build, create, and socialize. Sitting on a couch and playing video games and hating everything and everyone is denying your nature. No wonder those who do it are so miserable!

I’m 20 years old and almost a year in the marines. I have to say, they grind that shit in your head. I feel weird when i don’t get my haircut every week or miss a shave. I’m like a 20 year old with 40 year old mindset. I dress everyday to impress, stand tall, polite without noticing.

Do what you say you're going to do

Well, I do keep my promises, but I have this one task I "need" to do, because the person who gave it to me, literally couldn't take a no. I simply didn't touch it for... 5 months. I don't know if it helped, but I said "I can't do it, I don't have this skillset and I don't have time for this" but he literally said I have to. But he is not my boss.

​

Sorry man, sucks to be put in that situation. If you can, get something in writing (an email exchange maybe) where you state your concerns. Then you can show it to someone in future when the shit hits the fan. If your non-boss is giving you duties that don't fit your skills that's his failure as a manager. What a turkey.

Yeah, this post motivated me to stand up for myself. The person who gave me the task said he gave it to someone else anyways... Like, thank god I didn't do ANYTHING since it would be just double work. I also told my supervisor, since this guy isn't my boss and she said she will "keep him away from me" 😂

I gave the e-mails to my supervisor. She said, well he will not be able to use our services again and will have to search another project for his concerns, since it's quite bossy and he isn't in the position he claims he is.

Thanks for the advice anyways. :)

I'm going to be a father this year, and I think these are excellent habits I can use to teach my child. Thank you.

Congratulations man - a freight train is about to hit your life. In the best way possible.

Do what you say you're going to do.

You know what you're right! I'm going to stop painting, and run for office, or my name isn't Adolf Hitler!

That last bullet point is the hardest. It's a skill to learn how to do this.

I would add exercise to that, but yeah, that's a pretty good list. I've found sleep, diet and exercise to be the most vital ways to regulate mood and happiness.

Mid twenties now and recently been saying that the older I get, the more i strive to be a boring person because I believe the tools and habits to self betterment is through the things you listed. I spend a lot of time thinking about making the changes but dont ever make any progress. Eventually I will get there.

Baby steps, dude.

But what if I want to eat fake food?

Well, I'd say if you do so consciously and are prepared to take the consequences, you're ok. 80/20, 90/10 maybe. The stress of having to hold yourself to too high a standard can be worse for you than just easing up once in a while.

...wait, what's fake food again?

Applebees, figuratively and literally.

...I want to eat real food.

What constitutes real food? I've been living alone for half a year now and I still can't get this down. I generally don't have the energy or time to spend 30 minutes to an hour cooking and cleaning per day after work/uni. What are your recommendations for me to fulfill this goal?

I feel you - and like I say it's taken me a long time to do it myself so I'm not holding myself above anyone, just saying that I've found I'm happier prioritising certain things. And I don't think you need to be zealous about these things - 80/20 is a good rule to aim for.

With food I'd go along with Michael Pollan and his "Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognise as food." rule of thumb. He has some more good pithy advice here.

It's true I have to spend more time cooking than I used to - that and cleaning up afer a 9 month old baby have edged out videogames, weed and TV as activities that used to take up my time. I think the trick is to make it as easy as possible for you to keep up with stuff. I think of it as being kind to future me. One advantage of living alone (if I'm reading you correctly) is that you don't have roommates to fuck with your stuff, which makes it a bit easier to plan!

One recommendation: get yourself a slow cooker - they'll cost you about as much as a week of store-bought lunches. On a Sunday night chop up veg (potato, onion, celery, garlic, carrots, swede/rutabaga, you can soften these up in a covered saucepan first if you like) and put them into the slow cooker overnight with some cheap diced meat - skirt or flank is good, or oxtail, brisket, chuck. Put enough fluid (broth/stock, beer, water, diluted wine/vinegar) to partially cover and add seasoning - thyme, rosemary, oregano, pepper, whatever you like. You'll get to know your tastes after a while. Leave it cooking - 6 hours on low. You got a stew going, baby. Or if you're loaded and don't want to wait, get a pressure cooker - I've never used one but people swear by them.

Then you can take your own food with you to work in tupperware or reheat it in the evening. Do this every week but rotate the meal - chilli, bolognese sauce, a curry, goulash. You'll get more confident and better at judging them.

Hope that helps.

believing they'd make me boring. Well, they have, but I'm happier.

Yep, and guess what? People still like me, even though I'm boring, because I'm better adjusted and generally nicer to be around.

Be polite.

Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

I wondered where that came from.

That's a terrible accent by the way. Is it supposed to be Australian?

Is it supposed to be Australian?

Yes, it is.

That's a terrible accent

That's not surprising, given how the game used to be a parody of James Bond and similar spy movies.

It is what the creators think a stereotypical Australian accent sounds like. Of course it is exaggerated to a point it is not even one bit Australian. The same applies to German, Russian and Scottish accents in the game too, by the way.

I wondered where that came from.

I think it is a parody of some US army motto.

I'm really trying but the good sleep and good food part is an impossibility for me at the moment because of some bad luck I've had. I do recognize how important it is though.

It's an ongoing struggle to be sure. I don't pretend to have nailed it completely.

Sorry to hear about your bad luck - hope it turns around for you.

believing they made me more boring.

No way. I'm in my 40s and when I meet dramatic people my age it is just so tedious and I can't get away fast enough.

Some drama is good. There's flamboyance, flair, and style; and then there's shit stirring, shit talking, and making the same mistakes over and over. I am referring to the latter of course!

Hm, those things should all go without saying for a grown adult. Sadly it isn't.

I agree - if I hadn't had a baby and had to take care of elderly ill parents I wouldn't have been jolted out of my comfortable extended adolescence. But adversity has rewards. One of my favourite sayings (not that I trot it out in public) is “Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim. (Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you.)” (EDIT: it's a quote from the Roman poet Ovid)

  • Be polite

  • Be efficient

  • Have a plan to kill everyone you meet

Almost thirty and learning these are important.

I dont eat properly and always complain about being tired even on full nights of sleep, but ive started taking multivitamins and my energy levels are higher and now I have the energy to cook healthy food

It made you more predictable to people, which in turn is less stressful for others.

"eat real food" Do you mean learn to cook and amaze people with delicious yet healthy food?

"Get sleep" Do you mean be awake when you are with other people and be able to have a normal conversation?

"Be on time" Do you mean don't annoy everyone and miss out on stuff by being too late all the time?

"Look decent" Do you mean I don't really know I just a agree?

"Be polite" Do you mean don't be a dick to everyone around you?

"Do what you are say you are going to do" So you mean to not annoy a lot of people?

If at least half of them are yes I have no idea how this could make you "a boring person" as you said. Like for real people who actually do this please be my friend! I need friends

Military: Right Place

Right Time

Right Uniform

NOT BORING! NOT LAME! Truly awesome. Building blocks of a peaceful, healthy, cheering life.

Ugh people who are always late are the worst. It blatantly states that their time is more important than yours. Completely disrespectful and unprofessional!

The last two items alone could be enough by themselves -- people can get by and have great lives/friends just on the power of those two .... number 2 is also an unknown good one

When I havent seen people in a while and they're like "wHaT's UuUuUup??" And I'm like, nothing, my life is boring and I like it that way. It's so freeing.

I'd add...be kind.

Totally. It can be a tough one to enact though, especially to oneself! I should have been in bed an hour ago :(

Yeah, it a lot of society these days seems to overemphasize "being fun/interesting." I mean, of course, it's good to enjoy stuff and be an enjoyable person, but sometimes I feel like people may be presenting caricatures of themselves (i.e. exaggerating stuff or adding superfluous bits to their demeanor) because that's what they see elsewhere. Even I had succumbed to the pressure of disregarding some of my own thoughts for others', especially under my stereotype threat I felt during high-school (having High-Functioning Autism); this would have seemed to contribute to my eventual crash into an identity crisis.

My point of (uncertain) advice is: be yourself. Follow what you know. Don't just conform to any sort of trend, be it pro-"establishment", pro-"diversity", or anything in-between; assess a situation on your own terms and figure out the best action. Your flaws or your perks do not bind you forever (generally), but your knowledge /awareness and what do with that will nourish your being.

You mean I shouldn't be eating fake food? I should just stop 3D printing apples? Damn it, this printer was supposed to save food money in the long run!

What if I can’t make myself get on time?

I literally can’t put a carrot in front of me to chase it in my mind, cause that carrot is too cloudy to see in my mind. I believe it is a mental illness, and I’m fucked.

Sorry dude I meant to reply to this. What I would suggest is just moving in a direction, rather than acting on goals. When things are too clouded to see properly you need some kind of compass or lodestar. Just getting a little better gradually adds up to big progress.

Also examine the ambitions you have for yourself, and your view of yourself. You may find that you're holding yourself to impossible standards and want to cut yourself a little slack.

I have found an enormous amount of compassion and relief in listening to buddhist practitioners. When I couldn't find any compassion for myself, the compassion and wisdom of Jack Kornfield, Pema Chodron, Gil Fronsdal, Ajahn Brahm, and others really helped.

Feel free to get in touch if you need to talk.

Thanks, this means a lot to me. Sounds good.

So your idea of a fun person is a junk-eating, sleep-deprived, tardy, unkempt, rude person? Umm... we might have more issues on our hands there.

Looking decent is a social construct. If I want to be a furry in public I should be accepted

No its not. It's about being clean and hygienic.

You can wear a clean wrinkle free furry suit that smells like lavender, or you can wear a crusty dirty ripped furry suit that sells like old semen.

Also, like it or not, fair or not, the reality is the world judges people by the appearance they put out. Thats just how humans work, going back to caveman times. That's how animals work. That's how brains work. They simplify the world to known quantities. You can accept this and work with it, or fight it and have a worse life for no good reason.

Being furry in public is frowned upon? But what about all these sheeple I keep hearing about?

The people that are late will never take this advice. In their mind the process of leaving and going somewhere is more important than being on time. Took me ten years studying someone to figure this out.

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I have q coworker who shows up 15mins late to appointment with specific times and people are waiting on her. She doesnt even call I have to call her.. no apologies. She literally doesnt give a fuck about others time.

Why is she still employed?

If you’re good at your job, people do care somewhat less. I work with a guy who is completely scatterbrained and shows up late all the time to pretty much everything, even meetings with his manager. But he’s also the best engineer we have, the guy just tackles huge problems all the time and gets everything done thoroughly despite him being all over the place.

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I love this quote, because it describes the range of people I work with. One guy is a complete jerk but he’s really good. A lot of people are good but not great, however they’re kind and on time because it’s Minnesota.

And finally, there’s people like my coworker who are all over the place but they’re funny and do a great job.

What does it mean "it's Minnesota"?

People here are almost universally nice and prompt. It’s just in the local culture.

The problem with employing people who are unpleasant is that people start to work around them rather than with them. Information flow suffers. People don't get the support they need. Work gets duplicated, or never gets started.

Very few gigs (possibly none) don't require some ability to communicate and there's no point employing someone who's fucking up the job.

Huh. Just realized why an ex coworker was not so successful despite his skills. His work was good, but he was an ass and while he could deliver quality work on time, he rarely did. And he dragged me down with him a little. New job, not with him, much more invested in success.

Probably part of WHY he's all over the place.

He just gets stuck into stuff and loses track of time as he's so focused.

Focused on the task, not the clock.

We use MS Teams at work.

It has an automatic "do not disturb" feature when it knows there's a meeting in your calendar.

Someone was trying to call me to start a meeting the other day, but I wasn't notified, and because I had my head in code and wasn't watching the clock I missed it.

Not everyone who misses meetings is trying to be an asshole.

Of course, and most people understand that it happens. The difference is that if you apologize, explain why, and don't let it become a pattern no one will think you're an asshole.

How are you finding teams?

Better than Stride but not as good as Slack. :)

I wonder if OP is a 'tracker'.

Engineer solves the problem, trackers make sure the engineer is working.

Too often did I need to skip meetings because 2 different trackers wanted a date update, but my team was solving the actual problem.

I’d say that’s the best way to explain him. He’ll go down a rabbit hole, but there’s a lot of little tunnels that he also uses to reach other rabbit holes.

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More likely ADHD. Being horrible at showing up on time, being able to hyperfocus on unique problems, and being good under high stress situations are pretty common traits.

Plus this is exactly how I'm still employed (and why I'm on reddit at work!)

Accurate observation.

Source: This guy and I share a life raft.

Oh god... now I'm imagining a life raft full of people with ADHD with no external stimuli. That sounds horrible...

Pair up and play patty cake but invent new rhythms. Boom, everyone's happy.

We're going to end up with some really crazy and complicated patterns by the end of it. Okay, now it actually sounds fun.

It's all about perspective my man.

Place for one more? Seriously: When I started reading this thread I tried to figure out who in my company was outing me on Reddit. Turns out I'm far more of a common character than I thought...

Huh, I was actually recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I never knew how accurate this was.

Same. I thought it was a “soft” or mis-diagnosis until I started looking into it more, because I’m not the type of hyperactive person actively interrupting or causing social issues, like a lot of people expect.

Just scatterbrained, always procrastinate, thrive under high pressure scenarios to the point I almost enjoy it (which explains a bit of my procrastination to me, I’m waiting for that frantic rush), get really sucked into random problems and lose track of time, constantly show up 5-10 min late (often because of the last point) and feel really guilty, etc.

One of the big misconceptions with ADHD, specially with adults, is the hyperactive part. It's not supposed to literally be hyperactive like you'd imagine with children. And there's an entire sub-diagnosis that completely lacks that trait.

ADHD is far more about engagement than hyperactivity. How we'll you're able to keep yourself engaged, or focused, on a given task. Unless it's something you're super into, and then often hyperfocused on, it's really hard to stay engaged. Often times we completely lack the ability to keep ourselves engaged without external pressure or motivation.

This has a huge variety of side effects. It's why ADHD people tend to be often late. And it tends to be why they're really good in high pressure situations. Or why it's impossible to do your homework until suddenly it's too late, and then suddenly you're real good at doing it because the external pressure is on. Or why we tend to pick up, and then get bored with hobbies really quickly.

Accurate - add some crippling OCD into the mix and being on time for anything is a far-distant reality. But godDAMN am I good at my job.

This. My OCD seems to kick in to full gear every time I try to leave the house. Then comes the anxiety from rushing, and the shame for making people wait. It's a vicious cycle that I've tried to break my entire adult life.

You’re spot on. When people say “being late means you don’t respect other people’s time” I understand where they’re coming from and I absolutely get that there are people who DO just show up late, not in a hurry to get there, sometimes even having stopped for coffee or something. That is super disrespectful.

However, for me, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. The shame is the worst part. I feel fucking AWFUL for every minute of the person’s time that I’ve wasted. Knowing that they may feel that I’m wasting their time is what kicks they anxiety into overdrive. The anxiety is right up there with the shame. The physical manifestation of the anxiety. It FEELS unhealthy. The rushing. The feeling like I won’t have enough time to get done what I need to do.

I’ve been on meds to try to curb the OCD but haven’t found one yet that helps with my specific combination of issues. It’s been a lifelong struggle.

TIL I have ADHD..

Same here!

But, I get regular reminders from my boss to try to be sensitive about it, because not everyone has the privilege of being able to turn up late and work flexi-time.

Thing is, it's not really a privilege - it's really me doing the best I can and still failing to turn up on time. Also, people that turn up late all the time have a harder time getting promotions.

Or autistic. I'm an extroverted moderately autistic without an intellectual disability, and a few people who weren't educated on how middle-of-the-road autism can present have described me as eccentric and scatterbrained but intelligent. That guy sounds like me and and some of my friends.

But the fact that he's fully employed does point towards ADHD being more likely. The two disorders are related.

was gonna say this - sounds like me !

Hmm, didn't realize those were ADHD things. I guess it explains a lot about my struggles.

It's a bit more complicated than just that, obviously, but those are some common traits you'll see.

The whole thing is both really interesting and the most frustrating thing in the world to deal with.

This is me except the late part. I'm scared to death of being 'that guy' everyone is staring at walking in late.

You mentioning all that made me wonder if I have ADHD...

Sorry for the potentially bad news lol

Guy: *is late*

Reddit: must be depression

WebMD: must be cancer. No other possible explanation.

I’m genuinely curious as to why you think he would have depression. Is there a correlation between mental health and being on time? I have manic depression and I’m constantly late to work and class but I never considered it was relevant. I just happen to always be late. There will be time when I’m not but no matter how early I start getting ready, I somehow end up getting sidetracked.

(edit: more context)

Because I have this problem myself. Motivation is... lacking. It's not that I don't work hard. The hardest part is getting there. And I was barely ever late before I got depression.

What's a simple thing someone can do to better their life?

Positive thinking can go a long way.

So can an eight ball of blow.

No amount of that goes a long way.

Can confirm, my eightball dealer wouldn't travel more than a half hour to pick up his supply. Eightballs stay local 🤷‍♂️

Evidently "long way" has various definitions, teatotler.

But how to think positively when your brain is literally telling you to think negatively all the time?

I struggle with this and I thought it was stupid and you probably will too.... Write down 5 things you are thankful for each and every day try and make them vary, one of minr recently was being thankful for "my wife for cooking a really good roast", "my cat for letting me pet his belly" or general such as "sex", "my job" etc. It's okay if you repeat things occasionally. Also, don't use the word "but". Like, "I love you but you're annoying." instead, something like "I love you and it really frustrates me when you do ____ and makes me feel like you don't care" etc.

I lost my oldest, best, and only friend in January specifically bc of my negativity. He was a brother to me. I don't blame him for cutting contact, I really was being a negative bitch and dumping all my problems on him. I miss him but he had to do what was best for him. And it has made me determined to never have that happen again. My brain still screams negative shit at me daily, but the above two small things have helped. That, and getting into therapy (again)

I suffer from long term depression and crippling anxiety (along with several other health issues both mental and physical) since I was 11. I know how you feel. I hope this comment helps you. Feel free to dm me.

Concious reframing of the thought.

So you make a mistake and your brain automatically goes, "Well self, you're so dumb for screwing that up. What were you thinking!? Anybody would be able to do that right, but no, YOU screwed it up. Of course you did."

You notice your internal voice talking shit to you about yourself. Take a breath, and think, "Negative Thought, that's not very helpful. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone screws up. In the process of screwing up this time, what did I learn for next time? I learned to do A, B, and C, and not jump straight to F. I know that you're embarrassed/angry/sad/frustrated that you made a mistake, and you're giving voice to those feelings, but there are kinder ways to do so. You deserve kindness and compassion, not an angry asshole screaming at you every time you fuck up."

It's really weird to talk to yourself like that at first, but it helps so much to reframe those negative thoughts. I got better at it after I had a kid, honestly. I would mess something up, and be in the middle of making myself feel bad about it, when I realized that there's no way I would talk to my kid this way because it would only tear him down, not help him learn and build him up. I wouldn't even talk to a friend that way. I deserve better treatment from myself, and the only one who can do that is me.

Oh idk... I was just thinking that while it's a real possibility the engineer guy is depressed, it's depressing to think about like that.

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Gtfo with that "The Secret" bullshit

Where the fuck did I say anything about "The Secret"?

Hell I didn't even say anything about curing depression. Just that positive thinking HELPS

there's no secret to depression. But it's rather depressing when you see someone jumping straight to depression for a successful but hairbrained person and their not so "normal" lifestyle. Maybe he's just an eccentric person. Maybe that's just who he is.

Gtfo with that ignorant bullshit

that's me. it's great for others but not a great trait for yourself in the longterm.

Engineer checking in, spot on for how I feel

Hyperfocused engineers unite!

People like that need a good PM to deflect things like meetings.

100%. I’m just like your coworker, severely scatter brained and late to everything because of it. I have ADHD so it makes me wonder if he does too!

But, also like your coworker, I’m really good at my job. I work great under stress without losing my composure and help out other coworkers a lot, to the point where they joke I’m doing their job for them. All my jobs have had a strict tardiness policy, and all of them have turned a blind eye to me being late, because they know I’m not a slacker. I don’t take anything to help with my ADHD and it can be frustrating when people tell me to “just leave on time.” I 100% plan and intend to leave on time, but I have so many scattered thoughts I get sidetracked whether I like it or not. It’s like telling someone with depression to “just cheer up” 🤷‍♀️

I have never been officially diagnosed for ADHD because I didn't want to be medicated but anyone who knows me would agree when I say I'm pretty sure I have it. I work in a kitchen as a sous chef and I guess I don't give myself enough credit when I get praise from others (hooray for anxiety) It's good to hear people that deal with the same struggle still kill it everyday even under high pressure

The only time I seem to kill it is under high pressure. The moment I'm doing mundane or boring tasks I end up spending half my time on reddit waiting for the systems I'm currently imaging to finish...

ADHD is a bitch. And I'm at the point where I really wanted to be medicated again lol

Go get medicated. Just got back on the meds again and I went from sobbing daily to actually being able to accomplish stuff again. 12/10 would recommend, 14/10 with rice.

The hard part is getting to the doctor while not medicated. I've been stuck in that "I know what I need to do, but I just keep not doing it" loop for a long while lol

I’m in a bizarrely similar boat! I’m not officially diagnosed, but my mom and siblings have been, and I have almost all the symptoms. I don’t want to take medication because my mom had a problem abusing adderall and meth, and I’m scared of winding up in a similar situation. People with ADHD are known to work great under pressure, which is probably why I’m so good as a server, and you a sous chef. I don’t enjoy my job unless it gives me an adrenaline rush.

Hey! I just wanted to let you know that if you did get diagnosed you don't have to take anything if you don't want to! It's just a way to have medical proof, self validation, and if for some reason you need accomodations for it you will be able to get them much easier. I also wanted to let you know there are other ways to treat it than the stimulants like Adderall! I take Wellbutrin and it has helped a lot :) good luck!

This is me too. I can wake up 1.5 hrs before I have to be at work, and still be 30 min late.

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Leave earlier...

Yeah, if it was that easy he wouldn't be showing up late

Mental illness complicates things.

Mental illness or no, you can still leave earlier...I have PTSD and ADD, I'd love to be late, but I value other people's time.

Why? My shift 'starts' at 8 am - You will be lucky if you see me in at 8:30; most of the time I'm pushing 9. I'm also one of the best devs on my team and routinely take on the more complicated projects. My work is never late and I take pride in providing solid deliverables. I have been promoted 3 times in 4 years; again, I'm never on time. Some people need 8 hours in a day to get shit done, not everyone dose. If someone routinely shows up late, but pumps out great work, then who cares?

Okay, I am also a high performer, and SOMETIMES I'll come in late if I have something to do in the morning or I want an extra half hour of sleep, but every day?

You can be a high performer and have discipline still. And if you're a developer I'm guessing your exempt like me so "coming in late" really isn't coming in late. They're paying you for your skills and expertise, not your 40hrs.

But saying you come in an hour late every day like it's a point of pride is weird.

It's not a point of pride - just trying to explain the reasoning behind it. 'Why are some people always late', well, this is one reason.

Oh, if it were only that simple...

My kid was diagnosed with ADHD and it honestly makes me wonder if I have it too, it would explain a lot. But then, I'd never actually go to the doctor to get it confirmed anyways, I've mostly just tried to organise my life to account for my executive planning deficiencies instead.

I have ADHD and I have the same trouble. What has helped me has been to change "what time do I have to be there" to "what time do I have to leave by" because otherwise I could honestly look at the clock and not have it occur to me I'll be late. For example: I need to be there at 9 pm. I could look at the clock at 8:45 pm and think no worries. I have time to take a shower etc and still get there on time. Totally forgetting we haven't invented teleportation, yet. But if I change it to I have to leave by 8:30 pm then I'll probably still leave at 8:35 or 8:40 pm because I'm time challenged but I'll get to my destination by 9 pm.

Hey that's me but smart

Though interestingly, on the flip-side, if you always show up early and have great work ethic, I feel that this gets you much farther in life more consistently than sheer eccentric brilliance (not to say that either is right or wrong, of course).

Devil's advocate here. This guy could reply to a thread in this post about "getting everything done at your job".

If you're always on time, people do care somewhat less. I work with a guy who is completely scatterbrained and gets half his stuff done all the time on pretty much everything, even projects for his manager. But he’s also the most prompt engineer we have, the guy just shows up all the time and is always working thoroughly despite him being all over the place.

this is me. I do my job, I'm not late to meetings a lot but I usually work from home until I feel like going in. but I outwork mostly everyone

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I can't explain it but I just have no urgency to show up at a set time. it wasn't the same when I used to work at a hospital or school or something, I was never late then. so idk, its just I know deep inside it doesn't matter if I'm physically at my job until there is a meeting

I worked with a guy like that. He was a woodchipper for tough problems. Feed it to him and watch it go away.

But a mess of a human being.

I think sometimes it's because tough problems are highly challenging while the basic responsibilities are predictable and mundane.

This. I think for people who are gifted, they know their value and realize people will wait for them. I don’t think they’re late maliciously though or due to lack of effort, I think it’s that scatter brain coming into play. Just a side effect of a brain that works differently.

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Nah he’s well compensated and doesn’t have a penchant for disastrous corporate espionage.

I think I'm that guy at this office. I'm basically always late. I DO stress when I'm late again... but don't warn anymore if I'm not more than 10 min late... 10 min late is average for me. I'm ashamed... But they kinda let it slide after numerous remarks. They even bought me an alarm clock as secret santa gift. Trashed that thing immediately. I ALWAYS leave last minute. if i see I have 10 minutes left before I leave at home, I lay down or stay in bed. I hate myself for doing this, but there is no other way.

My roommate works in a pediatric hospital and says this is basically the attitude of every surgeon she's ever met. They're kind of the last resort fixer in worst case scenarios, they fix the problem, they move on. Anything else outside of that bubble of responsibility is everyone else's problem. They have no interest in making friends with the staff or being part of a group. Somewhat understandable though...

My husband is like this. Late to most things, forgets stuff all the time. I keep track of who has to be where in our family and send shit tons of reminders when its something that he has to take care of.

But he is damned good at what he does, tackles big problems head on, and takes on the tasks no one else wants to do.

Sounds like ADHD :')

ADHD can make some great workers, but horrible bosses.

I think this is actually the correct way for things to be handled.

If you're doing a satisfactory job, you should expect to be held to showing up on time and all of that "good employee" stuff. Because if you don't, someone else who will do a satisfactory job will.

But if you're a killer that can be relied on to handle real problems, you should be given the space to do so with as little interference as possible, which includes not being hassled about being 5 mins late to a meeting.

So this is an example more of someone being over-worked and not speaking up about it, than being respectful and making sure you show up on time.

Honestly this sounds a lot like me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t manage to get myself on time to anything. Wasn’t until years later I was diagnosed with ADHD and it all made sense. Cut the guy some slack and appreciate his positive qualities. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to be so scatterbrained.

I desperately hope this is me lol

Wow I'm in engineering and am like this, thought it might be a disadvantage but now I have hope :)

"I am not absent minded. It is the presence of mind that distracts from everything else."

G.K. Chesterton

This kind of sounds like ADHD though. I was diagnosed as an adult and finally understood why I’m so scatterbrained, and manage to be late no matter how hard I try to be on time.

My brain doesn’t judge the passage of time as well as a neurotypical person’s would, or accurately predict how long a task will take, and something will ALWAYS distract me - no matter how many alarms I set to remind me to move on to the next task during the process of getting ready/leaving the house.

If I’m not late, I’m ridiculously early due to way overcompensating for my ADHD since my diagnosis.

Also, the ADHD brain works in strange ways, a lot of us experience this thing called “hyperfocus,” which enables us to bury ourselves in a seemingly boring task that somehow really specifically appeals to our mind. For example, spending hours reorganising and improving the filing system at work, which no one could ever be bothered to do. Like completely absorbed by the task and unable to move on to something else until it’s done, and being a total perfectionist about it.

He may not be on time but he gets things done on time and that’s all that matters

exactly

A guy I work with worked hard for the last 2 years, always on time and giving his 110%, now when his contract is almost up, he gets away with so much shit it's insane. But hey, at least he still does his job.

She established dominance.

How does one establish said dominance?

Show up late. Don’t apologize.

Well then how do you keep your job?

Establish dominance.

How does one establish dominance?

Show up late. Don’t apologize.

If I wasn’t broke I’d give you a gold.

She shows up late, never apologizes or explains why, and yet the other people still will wait on her instead of starting on time. If she was just a peon, that meeting would start regardless of her being there.

Pee on stuff.

If that fails, hump their leg.

Pee on a desk. Preferably the desk of the one you wish to be dominant over.

Pee everywhere they pee, right after. At least, that's how it seems to work for my dogs. YMMV.

The slow stroke.

Because success is arbitrary and merit based hiring is a myth.

Because God is dead and we're alone in the universe.

You would fire someone over being late 15 min?

Repeatedly? Yes.

If you have a good worker and being systematically late is their only major flaw it would be very unwise to fire them based on that only.

Well that really depends on your value system. I highly value my time. Others may not. If it's my company and I highly value time, I may place that above raw talent.

Absolutely not. There will always be someone better than you. That person is your competition. They want your job. They can do your job either faster or cheaper. The person in the example above is burning an hour and fifteen minutes a work week of company time. Given the population of the young, educated, and working world, there are thousands of replacements at the drop of a hat willing to shut you out for an opportunity to work. Its up to your own self to preserve your skin, because someone is paying attention to that hour and fifteen minutes of lost productivity/pay a week.

More so, this person is also flippant about their lateness despite the obvious, which is exceptionally rude. Why should I keep that person who is going to have people waiting on her on a daily basis, when I can get someone who can actually commit to a 40 hour work week, wont be rude, and wont leave people waiting on her?

Well... our boss is a bit of a pushover but I'm buying the business and she will be the first person spoken to about tardiness. She blames it on agoraphobia but has no problems going to the pub!

Obviously not attempting a diagnosis or to make excuses for her, but inability to manage/monitor time is a very common symptom in those with Adult ADHD.

If this is the case for your coworker, it’s possible she can’t really conceptualize how bad 15 minutes late really is, in terms of work.

This sucks for me. I have a time to leave in mind, but then I find something that distracts me in the house. It could be a chore I forgot to do, an item I finally found that was missing...I have been more up front with people though about the issue and have sought help, finally.

The processes of getting ready to leave is what always kills me. So now in the mornings I have two additional alarms; one tells me when to start getting ready to leave, and the second tells me I'm leaving too late. As long as I'm out before the second one, I'll be on time.

I'm late about about half the time instead of all the time lol

That is smart. I'll have to try that. I have started leaving notebooks out and if I see something that I'm itching to do instead of leaving, I'll write it down in the open and then leave. I check the book right when I get back and do it then.

Thanks for your input ^.^ I've tried to get her to reach out for help but shes the type "woe is me" and is stuck in the victim mentality.

My father used to be a boss in an area, he knew his people. He would text/email everyone separately and the ones he knew arrived late he told them the meeting was 30 minutes earlier. When they found out they were so ashamed they had to apologize and some guys actually did change

Right, lancea is giving them the benefit of the doubt but some people just don't care, or else have something 'more important' to do than be on time.

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I've told my uncle random times that are 2-3 hours before the actual planned time because he has this grand ritual he has to do before really doing anything outside the house and I can usually get it close enough that he is +/- 15 minutes to the actual starting time

Someone just got fired where I work because she showed up at noon for a 6 AM shift, had to buy socks because she forgot to put them on that morning, hour and a half lunch. No idea how she's gotten along this far.

I have the same type of co-worker.

He agreed to an Outlook meeting a WEEK in advance (in the Outlook calendar!), then proceeded to ghost me on that one and two more re-schedules until I just gave up.

Always the text between 5min before the meeting start time until maybe 15min after: "Hey! Can we do the call at X time? On another call"

Hey dickhead, THIS MEETING WAS ALREADY IN YOUR CALENDAR. Why did you double-book yourself like an idiot?

It's just so unprofessional and disrespectful.

Have the meeting without them, and finish early. Have done it to a few people and while they may not care about your time, they do care about being excluded.

15 minutes is my maximum wait time before I leave. I found that if I wait longer I start resenting them and I don’t want to go there emotionally anymore. If it’s to grab a coffee or lunch I may stay and do that without them as I do love coffee shops

That would frustrate me beyond belief, I'm so glad I don't know her in real life but I'm sure there's plenty of people in the world to act and think the same exact way

This exactly what the attorney at our firm does. Annoying asffffff.

Can you start telling her the appointment is 15 minute earlier than it is?

A close family friend is so reliably late we invite her to stuff and tell her it starts thirty minutes before it actually does. We joke about it, but tbh we spend far less time seeing her than we would like because it's so damn hard to arrange anything that's even slightly time dependent.

Start the meetings without her and when she does arrive you can remind her of the start time and continue. No catch up. Enough times and she will get the point. The only reason she continues to do that is because you accommodate it.

If it's a meeting with just the two of you, just make the decisions yourself and end the meeting as soon as you can.

Literally my mother. Her and my dad have split custody and live 2 and a half hours apart, so we meet halfway and I shit you not almost every fucking weekend she shows up at least an hour late.

My brother and his girlfriend are like this. Just last week I was picking them up for something. He texted me an hour before I was to pick them up to confirm the time then let me know that they’d probably be a few minutes late for being ready. Like how??? You could literally still be laying in bed and still have time to get up and ready but instead you’re planning to be late??

Luckily we’ve caught on and just tell them a time 15-30 mins before the actual time so it balances out and now they’re pretty much “on time” for what we had planned but still late from the time we told them, no matter what.

Imho they care more about their process than the event. They are unable to enjoy the event or anything related to it if they don’t do their process. There are cultural aspects to running late that are separate from my discussion.

There are cultural aspects to running late that are separate from my discussion.

My wife is always surprised about how "punctual" Americans are. Like I plan to meet someone at 11:00 and I'm there at 11:00. Not 11:10, not 11:30, just 11:00. Crazy that this isn't normal in some cultures, but it's true.

Where is she from?

Mexico

Mexicans are unpunctual af.
- source: I'm mexican and unpunctual af.

Yeah it’s tough to adjust to from a gringo perspective.

Peruvians will drive you batty.

I feel you. When I was visiting friends in Argentina the closest I could ever get to ever locking anyone down to a time when making plans was "midday", which can mean anytime from noon to like seven pm. I'm not particularly punctual compared to other Americans but boy did I spend a lot of time stuck sitting around fucking around on my phone waiting for people on that trip. Actually gave me some perspective and helped me improve my own punctuality at home.

I think it's because in some cultures its considerate to have some leeway for your guests. Public transportation isn't as reliable and traffic is much worst so it's expected.

Sometimes if I’m running late but I won’t have time to eat for the next 8-10 hours, I will make and eat a bagel even if it makes me a little late. I think some people just take this to an extreme.

I’ve never thought about it this way but that kind of sounds like OCD. Having to do certain rituals like lock the door 100 times before leaving and then thinking about it if you don’t. I’m sure there are some people who are just late but this might be the cause for others

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This with my SO so much... "Hey let's go to the park and then I'm going to go shopping."

Me: Yeah but we need to be somewhere at 4 and it's 1.

Her: Ok so I'll walk for 30m at the park and shop for an hour.

Me: Look it's 10m drive to the park, you know you won't only spend 30 min there, 10m back, 20m drive to the store where I know you will take more than 1 hr and a 20m drive home. Also it's 30m drive to where we need to be and there will be possible parking issues there.

Her: No it won't be an issue.

Parking too 15m a line took 5 and finding seats another 5 so we were 20-25m late. It's like this is simple math especially when I'm laying it all out like that. What the hell.

This thread is making me a little sad, seeing my bullshit reflected.

This:

Me: Yeah but we need to be somewhere at 4 and it's 1.

Her: Ok so I'll walk for 30m at the park and shop for an hour.

... sounded perfectly reasonable to me. To be fair, I don't know your area, how far these things are, etc. But that's actually probably not far off from how her brain operates.

Parking too 15m a line took 5 and finding seats another 5 so we were 20-25m late. It's like this is simple math especially when I'm laying it all out like that. What the hell.

That's the problem-- her brain doesn't lay it out like that (assuming it's anything like mine.)

Sure, I know it's 10 min to the park, and 30 to the store, I'll figure that.

But I might not figure the long lines at either of the places. I might not figure the time of day, and getting stuck in rush hour traffic, or behind a school bus. I won't figure losing my keys and having to find them to get out the door, or that one other item I have v to go back in for.

And I definitely won't figure an extra 10-15 minutes for the dozens of times I'll see something shiny, or a squirrel (lol) that distracts me from my goal along the way.

It's funny, because sitting here calmly I could probably work out a more accurate timeline. But I've got so much stuff to do, and things fighting for my attention that I'll probably forget or neglect to do that.

And I'm blessed with anxiety issues too... So when it's time to enact plans the anxiety starts to go to up, making focus worse, thoughts race, easier to get distracted.

Double that if there's self image / self esteem stuff attached to the ADHD and chronic lateness, because then I'm feeling shitty about myself, anticipating that I'm going to have trouble.

I'm pretty sure this has actually gotten much worse as I've aged, especially over the last 5 years or so.

:-(

OK but if your SO like just laid all of it out would you reject it or be like ok that makes sense now that you mention it?

Exactly what I was going to say.

Severe unmedicated ADHD here, and it's a bitch and a half.

And this:

His executive functioning just isn't capable of factoring in all the variables

Is exactly right.

As a chronic late person, much of which is anxiety and ADHD related, I frequently have dreams in which I am trying to get to something that I really want to do, but it’s been 4 hours, the event is over, and I cannot finish packing and getting ready for the life of me. Trust me, I don’t want to be late, but it’s like my brain detaches from reality when it comes to getting to places on time.

yes, not the door locking for me but OCD makes me late frequently. I do care about being on time which is why I get up four hours before work but some days that's not enough

Can I ask if you are diagnosed with ocd? Not to be rude, but lots of people like to say "oh I'm just so ocd" these days and what they really mean is that they are fussy or particular.

Yes, and I appreciate the question actually. I know what you mean about people using the term as an adjective to describe their quirky ways and it is quite disheartening to those of us who really have this life altering thing. Unfortunately, I have been formally diagnosed by leading psychiatrists. I do a lot of CBT and have trialed 9 meds including investigational therapies.

My mom is always late and it’s absolutely due to her anxiety. She’s so concerned about people judging her for the way she looks or seeing someone she knew from before she retired. But she’s probably an outlier because she’s so anxious about leaving the house in general.

I’m pretty damn anxious, but I’m always right on time. The most anxious girl I’ve ever met in my life is also very punctual.

It's not always the process itself.

At one point me two friends was going for a longer drive, and one just had to stop by at home to get a change of clothes. It should have taken 10-20min, it took well over two hours. Because he decided he wanted a bath, then he decided he might want to stop and fish along the way. So he had to go dig up bait, and couldn't find a spot, so he looked for a good bait spot for half an hour. Then he got hungry, so found some food etc. Not once during this little excursion, did he even think about the two people who had literally been waiting for him for hours already.

For some it's that they don't have empathy, they literally don't grasp what would be wrong with it, since it's okay for them.

Some are so focused on their current task that they don't register the outside world or other thoughts.

Others think everone has the same thoughts they do, so they assume they would understand their shitty excuse for not even letting people know. Because they "should already know that it's a possiblity".

TL;DR: They are selfish.

Well, this person lied to you and you think the discussion is about being late. I feel your pain.

On the other hand, ADHD.

Some are so focused on their current task that they don't register the outside world or other thoughts.

Hyper-focus is actually one of the features of ADHD. You hyper focus on the one thing in front of you, meanwhile forgetting to keep the context in mind, which can lead to a situation where you spend too much time/effort on one thing, when your focus would be better applied elsewhere.

But you don't always (usually, in fact) realize this is happening until later. You know-- when it's too late to be helpful...

I’d love to hear more about your informal studies on punctuality tbh.

It’s been watching someone closely for 10 years being late. Why get judgmental? Instead I tried to figure it out so I could use this in my planning.

Did it work?

I’ve been doing kind of the same thing with myself, but I’m always right on time. It’s perfect for meeting up with friends, but when I have a shift that starts at 8am, many jobs expect you to be there however-early, not right at 8:00 or 7:59 or 8:01. One job allowed a 7-minute buffer past shift start, which was great. I wish more doctors offices and employers would say “be here at X time” and that included time needed to fill out paperwork or time to suit up and get out on the floor to start working. I usually know exactly how long it’ll take me to get ready and drive somewhere. But I never think of “oh I need to be there at 8:00 minus 20 minutes to piddle around.”

For example. This morning I was a soup sandwich. I put on white socks with my business suit. I noticed as I was putting on my shoes. I said fuck it rather than change socks. If anyone points it out I’ll just say fuck it. Then as I was walking to the bus I realized I forgot a folder with paperwork. Fuck it I told myself. I’ll just make do today. I forgot my bananas and said fuck it I’ll just chow down for lunch.

Someone who has a process is not resilient enough to deal with these fucks ups.

Well, I would say I have a process. I’m pretty forgetful and try to have a routine for that reason. I have checks & balances to hopefully avoid forgetting things as much as possible. But if I have to run back in, it’s usually accounted for in my “leave at” time. I just give myself plenty of time to do what I gotta do before I head out.

Basically this, my ritual is looking presentable... which never really works as I inherently hate my appearance so even if I do give myself an hour and a half to get ready still leave my house late because I feel awful about how i look that given day

Sorry to hear that. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You’re probably fine looking and most don’t notice.

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That’s a good approach!

Its crazy because as someone who is quite anxious I find ir so scary to be late. I just don't understand why people don't get ready earlier than they need to if they are chronically late

They are unable to comprehend what integrity really means. They could still do their process, but just at an earlier time. In their minds, there is nothing wrong with being late, and in some ways. they're right. There's nothing wrong, but when it comes to relationships/friendships, it just doesn't work.

I’m always late to things because I hate being early, I clock in for work less than 5 minutes before time a journey I do 5 times a week so I’ve mastered when to leave the house without arriving early. Anywhere else I’m just always late since unexpected things always crop up during the or just before the journey.

You might hate being early, but isn't it unfair to force somebody else to wait on you? I'm pretty sure they hate it when you're late and you basically just told us that you care more about how you feel than about how they feel.

Read his/her other comment. Different situations have different expectations.

Yes it is unfair. Sounds ridiculous but my pals are always late for things as much if not more than me, if it’s urgent I have to be there on time I will be but more often than not it just doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t be late to pick up my parents, go to work and that sort of things it’s just with friends who are equally as bad at time management. Not that justifies anything it is my worst quality as a friend no doubt.

So youre the person everybody has to slow down their plans to accomodate.

I mean, if you think about all the things you can be late for in your day, are other people really waiting for you for the majority of them?

Like, I'm late a lot. But no one care about 99% of the times I'm late because it doesn't affect other people even when they're involved. Like, maybe one day a month there's people waiting for me to show up at work. That's 29 other days when no one cares that I'm late.

Or like this weekend, my friends were getting together for drinks before a movie. No one cares if I'm 15 minutes late, because they already have a table and drinks. I'll get one when I show up. Same goes for parties, most appointments, and whatever else.

Basically, unless it's a meeting or job interview, no one gives a shit. So why should you?

They mind, and they're talking about you behind your back.

Nah, they really don't. I'm not friends with the kinds of people who do stuff like that. We're all very upfront with each other. This is the exact kind of thing we'd bring up with each other if it were a problem. And if it wasn't a problem, it's the exact kind of thing we'd give each other shit for.

Besides, if I say I'm going to show up I always do, and if I need to be on time I am. It's not like I'm actually flaking out and ruining plans.

Work however, I'm sure people talk about how I'm always in a few minutes late. But who gives a shit about that? They also talk about how I'm the most reliable person during emergencies, or how I'm the most reliable person if you need to get a hold of someone after hours. And when I'm on a shift where I have to be on time, I will be. So no one really cares.

Besides, 99% of the things I'm "late" for are things that only affect myself. This weekend I wanted to go grocery shopping and be home in time for something to start, totally fucked up the timing and was 40 minutes late. No other people were involved, so why stress about it?

Your friends sounds like mine, I’m only late as much as the next friend is, in fact I’m better at arriving on time than some of the people I hang out with, don’t see it’s a problem. Moan at them for a bit and then just get on with it haha.

I think you would find that many actually give a shit. Just because your friends in particular give less shits doesn't mean that no one does.

Like getting to an appointment late, really? It often pushes the people whose appointments are after yours to be later than they were scheduled. And speaking from experience, those people give a shit.

Depends on what the appointment is for. There's plenty of appointments where no one is waiting for you.

I had an appointment to get some work done on my car a couple weeks ago. I was a few minutes late, but no one cared. Why? Because the appointment time wasn't the time they were expected to begin the work. All it was was me dropping my car off and they were going to work on it sometime in the next hour. And the person who had me fill out paperwork and took my keys wasn't bound to a schedule the way the mechanics are. So they definitely don't care.

Again, you guys keep missing the forest for the trees. The whole point is that it doesn't matter if you're late in situations where it doesn't matter if you're late. Coming back with an example where it would matter is disingenuous at best.

But I suppose I shouldn't have used the word appointment. There's just as many where it would be time sensitive.

[This potentially helpful comment has been removed because u/spez killed third-party apps and kicked all the blind people off the site. It probably contained the exact answer you were Googling for, but it's gone now. Sorry. You can't even use unddit to retrieve it anymore, because, again, u/spez. Make sure to send him a warm thank-you, and come visit us on kbin.social!]

I’d give someone 3 strikes for being a judgemental and uptight ass,so I guess we’d probably not stay friends for long.

I'm not unreliable or selfish, so save your projection. And if you're that selfish yourself, I wouldn't want to be around you past three strikes anyways. You sound like a terribly unreasonable friend.

You just made a whole post about "I don't give a shit if I'm late so you shouldn't either", which is the definition of unreliable and selfish.

Again, glad you have friends willing to put up with that bullshit.

No, the post was "no one else cares, so why should you"

And I'm glad I have good friends too.

I agree. I find is so weird that people see punctuality like this as the only virtuous behaviour, rather than one approach to time amongst a range of possibilities. Sounds like you are a great group.

Near enough every person I am friends with is late too apart from one I can think of, I was just being honest given the topic. I’m getting better at timekeeping as I get older but still a long way to go.

always

Not very unexpected, then.

Do you know why being early bothers you so much?

If you’re early you have to start working early or the awkwardness of talking to my coworkers or thinking I have to comes into play for me. I’m perpetually late because I assume how long it’ll take me to get somewhere and either I don’t leave on time due to me doing my dumb routine and feeling good enough to leave or my timing was off. But I despise being early

You should find a way to overcome that because being late becomes rude and disrespectful to everyone else's time. Everyone wastes their time so you can save a little bit.

Always try to be a little early, or build in some buffer time between each part of your journey to account for potential set backs. If you're early, just sit in your car on your phone or something.

I commute to the city for work and with normal traffic it takes 30 minutes, but it's obviously not always normal. Sometimes it can take an hour. In order to never be late, I would have to plan to be 30 minutes early most days. I know our work culture wants people wasting as much of their lives as possible but I don't believe in that.

I had a professor almost fail me because we had a particularly rough winter and on a few occasions my 20 minute commute became an hour+. He lived 6 blocks from the University so had 0 understanding of why all the commuter students were coming in late despite the news showing the highway was a bloodbath. I had to write an additional 15 page paper to earn a D for the class despite doing fine on all the other assignments.

Just use Google Maps at this point, it's usually pretty accurate about traffic and slowdowns

How do you still have a job?

If I clock in 1 minute late more than five times in a six month period, I'm toast. Nobody cares about my excuses.

God I wish I had a cushy white-collar job where I could just show up 30 minutes late and say "Ayyy, traffic, amirite?" and nobody gives a shit.

Not all jobs are that strict, and the ones who are a little more relaxed are not all white collar jobs.

Most places I've seen / worked have a small grace window... Anywhere from 5-15 minutes or so.

Because they understand, sometimes shit happens.

I've heard of very few places that would flip out over 1 or 2 minutes...

You should find a way to overcome that because being late becomes rude and disrespectful to everyone else's time. Everyone wastes their time so you can save a little bit.

Only if being late affects their time. I don't know about you, but that's almost never the case in my life. Unless it's an 8am meeting or a job interview, no one cares.

Depends where they work. Office jobs can be more flexible because it isn't crucial to be on time. Production facilities that require that person for the shift to go ok matters way more.

As a supervisor in a production facility, I would be in a huge amount of trouble if all my people weren't there when I did the start of shift meeting. Eventually I would be forced to talk to them about their attendance and how we can make it better.

True, that's why I started with the caveat about it being in my life. If you're doing shift work then when you start affects when the other person can stop. So it wouldn't be the same situation.

luckily I’m usually right on time, never early. Schools a different story. That’s something I really need to fix because I’m usually walking in 1 or 2 minutes late. I feel awful about it but my disrespectful ass doesn’t change. I don’t really go out with friends so not too worried there

Not really sure, I tend to feel uncomfortable when I’m the first person and find sometimes I can get really worked up if I’m not busy, takes my mind off what I’m going to be doing! That being said I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been late for work in about 5-6 years it’s just when doing stuff with friends.

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Yeah, this is me. I frequently overestimate how much crap I can get done in X amount of time. I read somewhere that people who are contstantly late are optimists--I thought this was a very generous way of putting it. I've had trouble with time management since I was like 13 and I'm in my 30s. It sucks. I hate being late. It's rude and I'm still working on it.

Shit... I'm starting to wonder if I have ADHD.

This fairly buried comment speaks to me. I've always kinda thought I might have ADD, and this is how things work for me too. I feel HORRIBLE every time I'm late; why do I keep doing it?! And then comments like "those people don't care about your time" make me feel even worse. What do I do? If someone is diagnosed, then what?

Well, if you think you have a problem see a therapist about it. Even if you don’t have any disorder then at least they can help you unpack your thought process and unlearn your bad habits!

There’s a lot of good books to start with, Russell Barkley is probably the preeminent expert on it. However, I’d caution against self-diagnosis so see a professional first

Thank you very much!

Chronic lateness is one major symptom.

Trouble with focus, or sitting still are big ones.

Not everyone will have all the syptoms, and/or some may be more severe then others.

ADHD is an impulse control disorder.

And it's frequently comorbid with things like anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.

The first time I read a full description and list of symptoms i almost shit myself-- it could've been describing me specifically.

Could be worth looking into...

Stop using ADD as an excuse.

Set alarms on your phone, plan to be 20 minutes early, and then grit your teeth and get it fucking done.

I have cPTSD and bipolar disorder, so I've got a hell of a lot of "grit my teeth and get it done" because nobody's paying my bills if I get fired and nobody's going to stay my friend if I constantly flake and ghost, and it's nobody else's responsibility to fix me or accommodate me.

Nobody is going to save you. Either fight against your illnesses, for REAL, because those demons can and will literally fucking kill you, or lean into it and fade away. But this fence-sitting bullshit of "Oh, I really WANT to do things, but I have a DISORDER, it's so HARD, I'm just so BROKEN, woe, woe, woe!" is infuriating.

Thank you, genuinely.

I have cPTSD and bipolar disorder, so I've got a hell of a lot of "grit my teeth and get it done" because nobody's paying my bills if I get fired and nobody's going to stay my friend if I constantly flake and ghost, and it's nobody else's responsibility to fix me or accommodate me.

Nobody is going to save you. Either fight against your illnesses, for REAL, because those demons can and will literally fucking kill you, or lean into it and fade away. But this fence-sitting bullshit of "Oh, I really WANT to do things, but I have a DISORDER, it's so HARD, I'm just so BROKEN, woe, woe, woe!" is infuriating.

Stop using your disorder as a means to pat yourself on the back.

PTSD? From what... Someone showing up late for work? lol

Feels good to have someone belittle your shit, doesn't it?

And ADHD affects executive function directly. It's an impulse control disorder. That's not comparable to an anxiety disorder like PTSD.

Oh and also? Many ADHD people also have depression and/or chronic anxiety.

If someone can't bring themself to understand how that might impair a person's daily function, they're either a self-important dick, or too ignorant to bother with.

You think people enjoy feeling like they're broken?

How much did you enjoy your PTSD?

Sure, some people use their issues as an excuse, or a way to feel special or validated. But for most it's a weight they'd rather be rid of.

Everyone's different. Even 2 people with the same disorder, 1 might be much worse than the other. Just because you've somewhat overcome your issues doesn't make it okay for you to look down on those who are still struggling.

People should be aware of the problems they have and do something to fix it.

I also have ADHD and I'm not late because I set alarms for myself

At a certain age other people stop letting it slide

No adhd cases are completely alike. Some people have it worse than others. Some people set alarms and have forgotten ten seconds later, or they get distracted when they are about to leave.

Like I said, I manage for the most part (sometimes I'm 1-2 minutes late, but who isn't?), but I would never presume that just because I can do it everybody can.

I also have ADHD and I'm not late because I set alarms for myself

Not all ADHD is created equal. Some are much more severe or mild than others. Some are different types altogether.

Also, unfortunately not everyone is properly medicated for their condition..

I am guilty of this, and it is one of my greatest weaknesses. I think part of it is that I am VERY optimistic on how long it will take for me to get ready. Also, subconsciously I am thinking to myself "If I got ready now, that would be a suboptimal use of time, as I would have time left over"

I know that is a crappy way to think, but I am working on it. I have gotten better, but I have a long way to go.

If that’s how you think then that’s how you think but I totally don’t understand it. Like you think it’ll take you fifteen minutes to get ready even though you’ve been taking twenty five minutes to get ready for 20 years?

Its not necessarily that I don't know it takes 25mins, Its more like:

  • takes 25 mins to get ready
  • Commute is 20 mins
  • work is at 9, so I should leave house by 8:40 latest
  • That means start getting ready at 8:15
  • If I wake up at 7:45, I'll think to myself "If I start my routine right now, I'll be ready waay too early, and thus will have wasted my time"
  • My mind is treasuring that time between 7:45 and 8:15 as "my time". I could check reddit during that time, I could nap a bit more!

I know part of if is toxic thinking where I am valuing my personal time more than my obligations. It's like I see my 45 min morning routine as something owed to my job, rather than something that is "me time".

Hope this rather rambling reply helped you understand the mindset of a chronically tardy person :). Fear not, for I know that I am at fault, and my line of thinking is incorrect. As I mentioned earlier, I am actively working on my tardiness.

Last week, I was 5 mins late on Monday, on time Tues, Wed, Thu, and 8 mins early on Friday. Unfortunately, I clocked in at 9:03 today, so the cycle starts anew.

Actually that really makes sense. I could see feeling like you have to do those things for your work rather than for you.

For me, the anxiety of running late and the fact that being slightly early is such a non issue means that I show up early to places for my own peace of mind.

If you think about it, you run late so you can have more time to check Reddit, but if you show up early, you can just sit in your car and check Reddit.

Either way, as someone who is always early and has very low patience for people who are late (especially chronically late), I appreciate you explaining it to me and I appreciate you working on it!

It goes deeper than that though. If you arrive early and then sit in your car on Reddit, there's a very good chance you will get distracted reading something and end up being late anyway. All it takes is looking away from the clock for a minute and then suddenly 10 minutes have gone by before you realized it. So there is nothing enjoyable or relaxing about being early to work, it's just a constant worry in your mind that you might get distracted by something stupid and be late anyway. Because, while you feel a little dumb for being a couple minutes late since you should have left your house earlier, it's still far better than being at your work location early and then still managing to clock in late. Because that will make you feel like the biggest fuck up ever. And it will reinforce the idea that being early won't necessarily help you clock in on time so why bother.

This is something I never quite realized until I typed out this post btw.

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Yup, it's really narcissistic if you think about it. I am getting better at sitting on my ass before leaving, but still a long way to go.

If that’s how you think then that’s how you think but I totally don’t understand it. Like you think it’ll take you fifteen minutes to get ready even though you’ve been taking twenty five minutes to get ready for 20 years?

Do you really have such a tight routine that it takes you 25 minutes (or whatever it may be) pretty much every time?

Gotta say I'm pretty envious, if true. :-\

Well first of all, I’m a guy so that makes things quicker but yeah, I usually take a ten-ish minute shower and my clothes take the same amount of time everyday to put on and then there’s hair / toothbrush etc. On days where I shave, it takes maybe 35 mins? Idk not too long.

Generally when my girlfriend and I have to go somewhere, I get ready and wait an hour for her to finish getting ready. I’m not complaining though; getting ready early makes me feel less anxious about being late because I know I’m ready to go.

Yo, that's me to a T most days. I could start getting ready now, but then I'd be ready too early. It's almost like I view being early as bad as being late. Like I'm subconsciously trying to keep everything on the razors edge of time efficiency but lack the skill.

Yeah, there's probably a weird risk taking/adrenaline rush element of it in there somewhere. On the days where you actually get all your little distractions completed, you fly to work with perfect traffic and make it just in time, then you think "I CAN DO ANYTHING!" And now you know it's possible so you try to replicate that every other day even though it was really just luck.

True. It'd be funny if after all of it, people like us are basically addicted to being late. (or at least addicted to that risk-reward thing you mentioned that makes one late)

On the days where you actually get all your little distractions completed, you fly to work with perfect traffic and make it just in time, then you think "I CAN DO ANYTHING!" And now you know it's possible so you try to replicate that every other day even though it was really just luck.

Never really thought of that, but this may be a factor...

Some tricks that worked for me:

Time a drill for getting ready, on a day where you have nothing to do. Do it efficiently, but without hurry.

Next time you're in a live situation, use this result, add 50% to it, to set a timer before you're supposed to leave. Add travel time +50% of travel time.

The first 5-10 times you use this in a live situation, make the actual process of getting ready your main event. Focus on that, not on what you're actually getting ready for. Hopefully you'll soon get a natural feel for how long things take you, and that will replace your old habit.

This habit will make you less stressed, which makes it easier for the habit to grow stronger. Trust me, it's nice to be 20 min early. It won't feel like wasted time. You'll probably feel a sense of accomplishment, that's what I do. For me, it's also nice to just get a feeling for wherever you're supposed to be, to settle in. If it's at someones place, it might not be appropriate to show up this early. Take a stroll, have a quick coffee somewhere, or call someone if you have someone were it's totally natural to call just to chat for 20 min.

This has helped me immensely.

I had a friend show up 45 minutes late to my son’s birthday dinner. She was appalled that we had already ordered......🙄

At least one very common answer is moderate dopamine and /or serotonin issues, also commonly known as moderate depression and/or anxiety disorders. If you're familiar with the concept of physical "spoons" in the cases of people dealing with chronic illness, it's a similar phenomenon only that it's the brain that runs out of "spoons." It doesn't excuse someone from their responsibility to try to address their underlying issues (just like there's no excuse for a disabled person to be an asshole), but it is possible they're not entirely aware of how their issues affect others, or maybe they know but don't know how to treat them.

Anyway, this info is mainly to give a bit more empathy (and thus, peace of mind) about people who are chronically late. That doesn't mean you have to take it lying down, but if they're important to you it can help you stay calm and maybe help them help themselves.

Or at the very least just expect them to be late and plan around it. If they get mad just tell them why. Or maybe tell them that them being late makes you feel bad. That usually helps, at least a little.

At least one very common answer is moderate dopamine and /or serotonin issues, also commonly known as moderate depression and/or anxiety disorders.

ADHD would also feature issues with dopamine.

And anxiety could have a norepinephrine component as well.

Just saying...

You are absolutely right. I wasn't trying to make an all-inclusive statement, so thanks for adding this important note.

Time blindness? Lacking the executive function skills to navigate time? It’s not always personal.

I am 40 years old, have primarily inattentive ADHD and time is my #1 enemy. I literally have no sense of time - including what time it is, how long something should take, how much time has passed and I can be late even when I show up early.

I have struggled with time sense I was a child missing the bus every other day.

I avoid doing a lot of things that require appointments because it’s just one more thing to be late to. Meds help but after 35 years of feeling like shit about myself and losing jobs and failing classes over my time issues .. I’m so tired of people assuming I’m not bothered by it. My entire life revolves around dealing with this and I promise I beat myself up worse then anyone else could.

I agree that some people don’t give a shit if they make others wait, but some of us are scrambling in a panic trying to make it work too.

I’m so tired of people assuming I’m not bothered by it. My entire life revolves around dealing with this and I promise I beat myself up worse then anyone else could.

This is part of the reason the super judgmental comments piss me off so bad. I despise living like that. If it was easy to change it, it would already be done.

Lately I've started to notice I will say to myself "I fucking hate you" when I'm rushing to get out the door and flooded with anxiety, and I fuck something up, or forget something else...

I've lived with chronic depression, and self esteem / self image issues, on top of this ADHD shit for decades. Decades. And despite that I've mostly been able to avoid blatantly shitting on myself, or at least trying to correct it when I do.

But lately? You'd think I was talking to a guy who just raped my mother.

But I need to stop that too, because nothing good will come of it-- I know enough to know that. But lately the frustration is so great it just slips out of my mouth before I even realize.

I do not want this.

Yes ... I used to beat myself up daily, it’s easy to do. I’ve adapted by moving myself into flexible jobs without time clocks.

It helps to remind yourself your brain isn’t working like everyone else’s. Forgive yourself, try again. Say thanks for waiting instead of I’m sorry all the time helps me too.

Cultural. I have been used to island time and am rarely on time for anything.

Although 90 minutes late is a bit much.

I have ADHD and show up late a lot. My time just disappears, like I'll start to get ready thinking it's an hour before an appointment and SURPRISE it's 20 minutes. I feel terrible for doing it, but some how some way it keeps happening.

But yeah, I'm quite capable of completely spacing out for an hour at a time, even right before something super important.

How I wind up late for work: I can't find my travel mug for my coffee because I put it down in the spare room when I spotted a pair of jeans I want to put in the laundry so I grab the jeans and dammit I forgot to dry the laundry so I put the jeans down and start the dryer and then I figure I should go straighten my hair but I forgot to turn the iron on so I turn it on and I guess I will scoop the litter box while I'm here and you know actually this litter should all just be replaced so I dump it in the trash outside and oh right it's trash day, shit. I better take that to the curb so I set the litter box down and take the trash can out and go to straighten my hair, but wait, where is the litter box? Oh right it's outside, better go grab that and why is the water running in the rose bush? Better turn that off. Where was I? Oh my hair. Litter box and hair. Okay. Shit, I have ten minutes to get to work. Let's just wet the hair and do the coffee but where is my mug? Fuck it no coffee. Hop in the car to leave. Wait I left the straightening iron on! Go back, turn the iron off, run out the door. Oh, my mug was in the spare room! Run back, grab coffee.

Get to school with five minutes before starting bell... Discover I left my laptop at home.

All of this compounded by my dude having ADD too, and me navigating his mess along with mine.

Reading this kind of triggered me, but only because I can relate so much.

Like if I could describe ADHD in just a few sentences one would probably be "Where are my fucking keys!?!

And the answer is usually "In my hand" or somewhere I've checked three times already and somehow didn't see.

Finding out I had ADD explained so much of my whole life.

I have a friend like this. Always incredibly late or flakes out last minute and bails on plans. The worst/best is when she bailed on HER OWN BIRTHDAY. We all still went out and had a really great time.

I know a couple who are very possibly the nicest, kindest and most generous and caring people I have ever known - but they are regularly over an hour late for pretty much everything. It's a miracle if they're ever less than half an hour late and it's so infuriating and weird considering how considerate they are about everything else.

They're both successful professionally so I can't imagine they're the same at work, so why do they leave all their friends waiting all the time?!

I don't know, ask my mother for me though. It was mortifying to grow up around though.

Our family was famously late. Everyone knew. My parents were utterly oblivious to the looks people would give us when we showed up late, and they never changed. This was especially tense when I was a teen and they insisted on driving me everywhere. Late.

One of my close friends is always late. One time he made plans to go to the city with our friend group and we were supposed to leave at 11 AM. I show up at my other friend's place where we were supposed to meet up and end up waiting until almost 1 PM for this guy to show up. It's extremely frustrating being the people held back by the constantly late

Maybe I can answer this. I always always underestimate how much time it's going to take me. Except for classes, it's like time just vanishes when I have to get ready and go somewhere. I try so hard to be on time but I really can't figure it out.

Because not everybody's brain works the same. I'm so frustrated with people who actually are on time to everything because they say the same as you "it's so goddamn easy why can't this dipshit just fucking do it?"

Partially because I have ADHD. A symptom of it is being REALLY bad at time management and forgetfulness. I really do try to respect people's time and I do my best but being on time is one of the most difficult things for me. I'm sorry that I was 3 minutes late but I had to make 3 trips between my apartment and my car because I forgot my garage clicker, then I forgot my lunch, then I forgot my headphones. That doesn't always happen but it does often enough.

Not a single one of my jobs were actually impacted by my tardiness, and I'm happy to work over the whopping 5 minutes I came in late, but people get so fucking pissed when you're not on time whether it matters or not. People are different, they have different struggles, deal with it! Especially when it doesn't really matter.

I really hate that people in today's work culture just cannot accept anyone who doesn't fit the fucking mold exactly.

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Yeah 90 minutes with nothing in your way is kinda ridiculous. I've absolutely been 90 minutes late but that's after doing shit all day and driving halfway across the state. Also me being late in those cases didn't really matter

Partially because I have ADHD. A symptom of it is being REALLY bad at time management and forgetfulness.

So you know you have a disorder that you know will contribute to making you late, but you don't feel it's your responsibility to adapt to the conditions you know exist?

What, is it just too hard to have little labeled places where your keys, coffee cup, lunch box, clicker, and headphones live?

God I wish I had a job that didn't care if I was late. God help you if you ever end up working somewhere with a time clock you have to punch in and out of; neither your boss nor HR will give a shit about your personal problems.

Fuck, dude. It’s a pathology. No, it’s NOT as easy to have a labeled spot for specific things. Especially when most of those things can’t even stay in that spot constantly.

You’re just doing the whole “Well have you tried not being depressed?” bullshit. That’s not how any of this works. If it were that easy, we would fix it. This isn’t fun for us.

neither your boss nor HR will give a shit about your personal problems.

I should hope they give a fuck about the ADA and understand that the issue is a fucking disability not a “personal problem.”

I should hope they give a fuck about the ADA and understand that the issue is a fucking disability not a “personal problem.”

Allowing you to be late every day is not considered a "reasonable accommodation" under the ADA. And in order to qualify for protection under the FMLA, you have to have been employed by the company for a full year, and have worked at least 1250 hours during that year. FMLA protection is limited to 12 weeks per calendar year and must be backed up with supporting documentation from recognized health care providers on a yearly basis. My company has fired several people when their FMLA claim was denied, or when they ran out of FMLA hours.

When I wake up at 4AM in the middle of flashbacks and panic attacks, I still have to figure out how to get to work on time and complete my shift, which means I have to figure out how to deal with my "pathology". I wish I could be so privileged as to have everyone else be the ones to deal with my "pathology" rather than ever take responsibility for it. If fucking only.

“Reasonable accommodation” is context dependent. There are absolutely jobs where schedule flexibility would be considered reasonable.

Honestly, you should consider trying to get accommodations. Whether it’s reasonable or not is, again, context dependent.

And, you’re right that privilege does play a role here. Higher paying white collar work is a lot more likely to both be able and willing to accommodate requests like that. But at the end of the day, we’re all dealing with our own shit.

Accommodations aren’t about making everyone else deal with your pathologies, they’re about reducing unnecessary barriers that make it more difficult for someone to work. Sometimes that adds some extra work for other people, but it’s minimal, otherwise it wouldn’t typically be considered reasonable. If it were a situation in which someone else would be forced to stay late, then it’s very likely they would not consider it reasonable.

Getting an accommodation or two doesn’t mean you don’t have to deal with your disorder. Like it still affects every other part of your life. You still have to take responsibility for how it affects your performance, your interpersonal relationships, and keeping on top of things. Just like if you got an accommodation that would allow you to be late when you had a panic attack, that would help you not get fired, but you’ve still had a panic attack and you still have to deal with that. Getting help to make that one thing a little easier isn’t a bad thing.

I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Whatever’s causing your panic attacks is fucking awful and if you’re in a workplace that makes it worse or can’t/won’t offer accommodations, I’m sorry. But you’re part of a larger community of disabled people all trying to do our best and to be hampered by our disabilities as little as possible.

When I wake up at 4AM in the middle of flashbacks and panic attacks, I still have to figure out how to get to work on time and complete my shift, which means I have to figure out how to deal with my "pathology". I wish I could be so privileged as to have everyone else be the ones to deal with my "pathology" rather than ever take responsibility for it. If fucking only.

Ok, but have you tried just not having the flashbacks and panic attacks? Seems simpler...

^(because that's what you're telling him to do.)

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Sorry, you're absolutely right. The rest of the world should be working around you and catering to you.

Not me, of course, because I'm just a blue-collar grunt, so fuck me and my panic attacks, but we should all definitely be working around you. You're special.

You're a fucking liar. You would be mow understanding otherwise. Stop trying to win this argument with your bullshit. Fuck you you piece of goddamn garbage.

You can go fuck yourself with a pointy stick. I work 12 hour shifts through panic attacks, through flashbacks, through racing thoughts, sometimes through fucking hallucinations, and my whole goal is to make sure NOBODY KNOWS. Unlike you, I don't WANT people to look at me and be all like "Oh, poor Charmed, he's so brave and trying so hard, being all disabled and shit." It's humiliating. If you're using your mental illness as a public excuse for your antisocial behavior, you should be humiliated too. But no, you wear it like a fucking badge. You're the problem. Hear me, dickhead? YOU'RE THE PROBLEM. Stop wearing your illness like a goddamned trophy and suck it up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of waiting for the rest of the world to fix you and coddle you and adapt to you.

IT'S NOT THEIR GODDAMNED JOB.

You seem to think I've done nothing whatsoever. I don't know where you're getting this from, but I've struggled and worked my add you started this fight. You were the one who told me I wasn't trying hard enough and that's just completely untrue.

Unlike you, I don't WANT people to look at me and be all like "Oh, poor Charmed, he's so brave and trying so hard, being all disabled and shit." It's humiliating. If you're using your mental illness as a public excuse for your antisocial behavior, you should be humiliated too. But no, you wear it like a fucking badge. You're the problem. Hear me, dickhead? YOU'RE THE PROBLEM. Stop wearing your illness like a goddamned trophy and suck it up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of waiting for the rest of the world to fix you and coddle you and adapt to you.

People with ADHD have a problem with executive function, as in, it's either a little bit impaired, or it's very impaired.

Do you know what "executive function" means?

Look it up.

Actually here, I'll do it for you:

Executive functions are a set of cognitive processes that are necessary for the cognitive control of behavior: selecting and successfully monitoring behaviors that facilitate the attainment of chosen goals

In other words, analyzing your shit, planning, and making shit happen. That's literally what the problem is.

That's why your posts are equivalent to "have you tried just not being depressed?"

If they could plan effectively, and act on those plans, they wouldn't have the disorder, or they'd have a mild form.

Actually, no, on second thought, FUCK YOU.

I consider my number one priority to be NOT forcing other people to deal with my illness. I put myself in serious shit every goddamned day just to make sure I'm not inflicting my fucked-upedness on anyone who didn't sign up for it and who doesn't deserve it.

People like YOU are the ones making it impossible for mental illness to be taken seriously. You don't give a flying fuck who has to deal with your illness, you make it all of society's problem and if someone doesn't like that, they're an asshole who should be shamed and shunned.

No fucking wonder every doctor I've ever asked to fill out FMLA paperwork looks at me like I'm running some kind of con. People like you who say since you didn't ask to be different, since you didn't ask for this trouble, you get to make it everyone else's problem.

Which means people like me, who TRY OUR VERY DAMNDEST to interact in society so that nobody else needs to suffer just because we're suffering, get no recognition and no assistance, because everyone's too busy dealing with YOUR shit, that you throw onto everyone else without a second thought and that you blame everyone else for not coping with it enough.

So yeah, fuck you.

I used to do this. For me, it was almost always that I misjudged the time it'd take to do things. And never in a way where I did it faster than I thought. I still do, but now I'm old enough to think one extra step. "I think I'll need thirty minutes to shower and get ready, fifteen to eat and fifteen to drive there. So I should start getting ready a hour and fortyfive minutes before I need to be there".

I've always wondered why doctors appointments make me sit in the waiting room so long and it's because the dumbasses who show up late. They perpetually cause check-ups to go over their allotted time because they don't show up when they're supposed to.

I just started going to a chiropractor whom I found out reschedules people if they are late. This girl showed up 10 mins late and he turned her away. I've honestly never seen this happen before but I liked it.

Chiropractor can because their lateness has nothing to do with their job. Doctors can recommend treatment, therapy, perhaps provide medicine that helps them tackle the issue - if a person is chronically late, then it's likely because of something that some kind of treatment can help.

No need to be so judgemental, especially at a doctors office.

Oh because sitting in a waiting room for 2 hours past your SCHEDULED appointment time is okay? Bullshit. I've got stuff to do.

The point of the comment wasn't about doctor to doctor. It was about telling people to gtfo when they show up late to their appointment.

Two hours? What kind of doctors are you going to that doesn't have a 15 minute late policy? All the doctor's I've been to, never have I had to wait more than 10 minutes past time, unless it's one of those specialist doctors that have hours long appointments already. I've never heard of 2 how wait for a general doctor.

If you're talking about a specialist doctor... Then idk, man. There's so many factors that come into play.

Yeah I have to deal with people booking a reservation with us who show up late, we have their event in waves with a set schedule. Stuff can get scheduled pretty tight with additional events right after. The guests show up on time and then the people who booked the event show up 30 minutes or up to 2 hours late. They then demand to have their full time and complain that we are rushing them. Drives me insane.

I used to be a chronically late person. I think it comes from people always being "yes men" and taking on more than they can handle because they're afraid to disappoint people. Once you realize that you're taking on too much, so you're disappointing everyone and stressing yourself out, then you can change... now I take on much less, and I make a point of being on time.

I literally did this very thing the other day.

I'll be late to work because by boss is cool with it, but not if there is a meeting. And I am always accessible from home at night for example.

But anything else, being late annoys me to no end. I will move mountains to be on time, like welp I guess a shower isn't going to happen. If I wore makeup I would be like not today because I would be late, etc etc.

If for some reason I am late I'm texting the play by play like traffic, be there in five, 2 streets away be there in 2. Because I know how frustrating the other side is. Still some people don't like that.

Then you have kids and it's like well damn being on time to dinner at my moms is tougher than it used to be.

I had a friend call me 45 mins after we were meant to meet up at a cafe in town that he was at home getting a coffee and he’d be there soon. When he turned up, he didn’t want a coffee... TF dude

A chick I know was two hours late for her engagement party, like, bitch, it's your party.

They never got married

I see you've met my mother.

3 hours late to their own wedding.....

In a lot of cases, there are cultural drives for this, too. For example, in Japanese culture, there is high pressure to not inconvenience others. But in Persian culture (from what my friends tell me), pretty much everyone is expected to be late.

Ridiculous. I don't know how that happens. My wife and I had a dinner party with two other couples - one couples was two and a half hours late. They had known about the party for two weeks, got off work, then decided they should take the dog to the dog groomer, then do some grocery shopping, THEN come to dinner. We held out for an hour and a half (the main course was in the crock pot,) but then cooked everything else and just ate.

Used to have a friend like this in college. Great person to hang out with, but habitually late to everything. Regardless, people would still wait around for him.

Fast forward a few years after college and I haven't seen him hang out with anyone besides his girlfriend and best friend. Kind of a bummer, a lot of us really enjoy him but aren't willing to risk a 15 to 1 hour long wait.

One of my buddies was always five or six minutes late for our weekly meet-ups. We'd play various tabletop and board games which you simply can't join in part-way through.

So we'd have to wait for him.

Except, one week i'd had enough and texted him to say we'd start at 12, not "we'll be getting in at 12" but literally "we're starting at 12". And we needed exactly eight players. He turned up one minute late and we'd already started with a different guy as a stand-in. He was livid. The next time, he was early. It's gotten so good that i don't even check my phone for the "I'll be a little late" texts until after we've started. And i always reply to them with "Okay".

Unless there's a good reason, it's because you aren't a priority in their lives.

This is supposedly common in Spain. Invited to dinner at 8pm? Come at 9 or you're a weirdo apparently

I went on a date recently where the guy was 25 minutes late and didnt tell me he was going to be late until the time we were going to be late. He knew he was going to be late an hour before and just failed to say anything. I totally understand being late but I usually know when I'm going to be late to something and give as much notice as I can. I text my boss when I even THINK I'm going to be late, 99.9% of the time I'm not but that .1% that I am, it helps when people know about it as far in advance as they can.

Thats me and my adhd when i forget my nightime meds and it leads to me forgetting my morning meds then being really late to anything

They just don't see the point of getting there on time. The time they arrive matters as much as the color of their waiter's hair. They know some people care, but they dont.

I recently had an exam that started at 9.30am but we had to be in the room by 9.15am. People were still walking in at 9.25am and looking for a seat. If I were the lecturer, I would’ve failed them before they even started but they were allowed to sit the exam. They failed due to lack of preparation. Go figure.

Simple. People like this have zero respect for other people's time. It actually borders on narcissistic.

I was once invited to a party. I asked when to show up. They told me it was a 3-day party over a long weekend so just show up whenever!

I did not go to the party.

My gf is late to everything socially, but makes all of her work meetings on time. I think it's partially lack of consequence and no one forcing them to do it.

I run a few minutes behind when it’s not a professional thing, I truly try to go alarm free and time carefree on weekends

and the sex?

I'm guessing this was an SO. I'll share my experience.

I'm 90% certain my ex had undiagnosed ADHD. Before we started dating and were just friends, she'd be late to everything. It was just her thing. Everyone knew she would be late and she always was.

Then when I started staying over and would be present for her getting ready, I saw the process and it all became clear. She couldn't stay focused on any one goal. She got distracted extremely easily.

She would start doing make up, then go to grab something from the kitchen and realize she hadn't eaten yet and start boiling water for some oatmeal, just a quick meal, right? But on the way back to the bathroom for make up she'd realize the dog hadn't been fed and do that. Also should be let out. Does that and sees her mom in the yard and oh crap, forgot to ask her about something yesterday. Gets into a 15 minute argument with her mom when she was just supposed to be taking the dog out, but now she's started several different tasks when she only thought she had to get her make up done and allotted roughly that much time for it.

The interesting part about all of this is she could not fathom how much time had transpired during this. She would think only a couple minutes had gone by when really 20 had and we were already running late and her makeup wasn't even done yet. I would gently remind her of how much time we had left and she would be legitimately shocked and re-prioritize. I think it's called "time blindness" and is a symptom of ADHD.

Gosh, I can relate so hard to this.

I like that term. Time blindness. My wife calls it rubberband time.

I'm 90% certain my ex had undiagnosed ADHD.

ADHD guy here. You can safely bump that to 99.9999%. And only reason I don't say 100 is lack of formal diagnosis.

Not only is that textbook, but you just described me on some of my worst days. I do exactly that-- in the middle of Task A "oh shit, I forgot / really need to do B" so I drop what I'm doing and start B before I can forget about it (because that's a high risk if I just keep going.) And so on...

Thanks. I should be in touch with her soon. She's dealing with other issues at the moment, but we're still close and I'll encourage her to seek a diagnosis on it.

ADHD is a real thing that fucks with your sense of time. It definitely cannot be used as an excuse for everything, but being diagnosed as an adult finally explained why my sense of time was so different from everyone else's and why I was always "that girl who is always late". Thing is, I seem put together and smart (I guess?) so my punctuality always threw people's opinions of me off. so I would always apologize profusely. After enough repeated offences, it just doesn't seem genuine anymore though so I understand. You don't know what they're struggling with to always be chronically late (and from my own experience, I feel there's always something bigger that contributes to chronic lateness) but then again they could just be a real shit head and just not respect anyones time too lol

This could’ve been written by me.

Are you me?

I think both of you are me actually.

Do you think we could all come together, to form some type of powerful, highly distracted ADHD version of Voltron?

Totally, even your username describes my life

Some people who are late have to work really hard to be punctual, but it's important so I do it. I grew up in an "island time" family, it was hard to change, but I did. It's not that some people don't care, I hate myself deeply if I'm late, even if the other person doesn't care and it's only a couple minutes, deep self loathing very negative. but I can't be on time if I can't find my keys. I start getting ready to leave really early, sometimes prepare things the night before because I get stressed and forget them. I always assume a ridiculous amount of traffic. And sometimes write the appointment earlier than it is. I definitely have ADD and a bit of anxiety, sometimes being stressed about something important is what can make me late, I have to persevere and get going. Not every late person is an asshole, some of us are kooks who work super hard to be on time.

That’s why i didn’t call anyone a judgemental name. There are assholes who are late. I think some have a different frame of mind.

Thanks for clarifying. But the phrase “the people who are late” makes it seem like a huge generalization like we’re all horrible ppl. I’ve been suicidal in the past due to the inability to manage my ADHD; but most people thought I was lazy because all they saw was me being a mess. Like, there are ones who really don’t care, but some of care a lot.

My father and I are both chronically late, and so I've had the chance to study and theorise.

I think the main issue is that we simply aren't able to calculate the time things will take. Such as actually travelling to the place we've agreed on. We'll crash out the door at 5-to, forgetting the three minute walk to the bus stop and the fifteen minute ride.

I've been able to better my tendencies dramatically after realising this, by adding 20-30 minutes to the plan under the "you're probably wrong" account

Same thing goes for my father, brother and I. Apparently, time blindness is a symptom of ADHD. Besides that, I’ll always leave last minute. Like I’ll intend to be early, but it’s like well, I can spend 5 minutes more on this. And it goes on until I’m only able to reach on time if I rush like crazy.

Living with my super punctual grandparents, I’m forced to add the 30 mins since there’s the consequence of annoying them, unlike with my immediate family, where we’re all understanding of our bad time management.

My wife is chronically late as well, and this is the part that she doesn’t seem to be able to learn. Like, after so many years of always being late, why doesn’t she incrementally add more and more time to get ready until she figures it out? She doesn’t seem to have an answer to that.

Very relatable! My father keeps asking himself (and me) why he didn't learn this earlier :)

I am chronically late, so I tell myself I need to leave about 10 minutes before I actually have to.

I know why I’m late too, I always try to take care of “one more thing” before I leave 🤦‍♀️ So I’ve been trying to work on letting that go as well.

I’ve gotten much better at this in recent years, but here’s how it used to go:

Ok, I have to be at place at 5 pm, let’s say. It takes me 20 minutes to get there so I have to leave at 4:40 at the latest. If I start getting ready at 4, I feel like I have soooo much extra time, so I don’t rush. Sweet, I have time to take care of x, y, and z before I leave! Oops, I got all absorbed in doing those things and got off track and now it’s 4:35, where’s my keys? Crap, forgot to feed the cats. Now it’s 4:45 and I’m going to be late and I feel like a fuckup.

Having ADD makes time management really hard.

I grew up with my parents just leaving the exact amount of time beforehand that the estimated time traveling there would take.

"5:00? It's a 30-minute drive, I'll leave at 4:30." Then they started to rush us to get ready at 4:15. We'd leave at 4:45, while mom whines the whole time that it's embarrassing that we're going to be late.

Oh, and it is regularly closer to a 40-minute drive.

I'm a bandleader and once dealt with a musician showing up 3 minutes late, and arguing that he was actually on time. He called me 10 minutes before saying he's just pulling into the parking lot. 5 minutes out, "ugh, parking sucks!" At the top of the hour, "just parked." 3 minutes in, here he comes strolling in with sunglasses on, instrument slung on his back. "Sup, fellas?" While the client was fuming.

It was a two and a half hour drive to the venue. My guess is he left 3 hours early, and stopped for gas and food on the way. The parking garage was as empty as it could be.

A couple of weeks later, he called me telling me he doesn't understand why I told the contractor he was late when he was actually right on time.

To fix my own habit, I make a ridiculous time I want to be there (maybe one or two hours earlier than I should be) and overestimate the drive. If I'm early, I can stop somewhere for a bite, or just sit in my car and keep myself busy for a few minutes. The fact of the matter is, I'll show up late to my own time, so while I'm later than I wanted to be, at least I'm still early.

Hah this was my experience when my mom would drive me to things, I was always like 15 minutes late to everything.

As a result of this, I almost always arrive 15 minutes early to everything.

Yeah I think that's what gets me. I used to be one of those chronically late people, but instead of making people tell me wrong times I just... forced myself to get ready early and leave early. It literally is not that fucking hard.

I definitely relate to all of this, but I’m a bit confused. This guy was coming from two and a half hours away and everyone was upset that he was 3 minutes late? That seems pretty spot on to me given the vagaries of a drive that long. Did he actually delay the rehearsal/performance? Or like, was the show supposed to start at X time and he showed up at X:03 and still needed to set up gear, warm up, etc.? What time did everyone else arrive? I just feel like I’m missing a piece of this.

There's a saying in the music world is early is on time; on time is late.

The rehearsal was at 2. He showed up in the door at 2:03 with seven other musicians set up, warmed up, and ready to go. He wasn't warmed up and only had time to grab his instrument and take his seat and start playing cold.

Everyone else showed up around 1. On a date I wasn't able to do, sound check was 6, he walked in at 6:30, thinking he could because I wasn't there that day.

Ah, that makes sense.

The rehearsal was at 2. He showed up in the door at 2:03 with seven other musicians set up, warmed up, and ready to go. He wasn't warmed up and only had time to grab his instrument and take his seat and start playing cold.

Everyone else showed up around 1.

Well the context certainly makes a "fuming" client easier to understand.

But if that's the case, I would think the meet time should be set for 1, not 2, to prevent that sort of thing, no?

Or if it's just "known and expected" that an extra hour is needed in that field, I'd be more inclined to say he was 63 minutes late, rather than 3...

Or if it's just "known and expected" that an extra hour is needed in that field, I'd be more inclined to say he was 63 minutes late, rather than 3...

It's exactly this. Usually, industry standard has a "call time" of half an hour before unless otherwise specified. But if you're showing up only 30 minutes before, you better be quick in setting up and already warmed up.

Over a decade in this business, and he should know better. But he doesn't get hired a lot in this town because he pulls this all the time.

... once dealt with a musician showing up 3 minutes late... A couple of weeks later, he called me telling me he doesn't understand why I told the contractor he was late when he was actually right on time.

I mean, to be fair, something as little as 3 minutes could be a difference in clocks! I know some people (and many businesses) today routinely keep their clocks 5 or more minutes fast.

And I've seen some that seem to drift a bit over time, if you don't keep your eye on them... Just a thought

But the client was "fuming" over three minutes? Damn...

Dude. Three minutes after STARTING TIME. Not show up.

If you're waltzing in 5 minutes before starting in this business, you're on thin ice. This can be a life lesson for you in other areas.

My wife is regularly running about 10-20 minutes late to family gatherings. It’s infuriating, but she works overnight shifts so I know sleep is valuable to her. What I started doing if I know we’re running late is picking up donuts or cupcakes (time depending) while she’s getting ready, then texting the family “sorry we’re running late, I stopped for donuts on the way!”

Everyone knows, but nobody will say anything as long as we keep bribing them with treats.

It really depends. My husband is chronically late, but it's not from lack of trying. His sense of time is just REALLY bad. He has gotten better since we've been together though.

I have a friend who is like your husband. He also drives 100 mph and willing to ride a motorcycle the wrong way on a one way. Crazy.

My husband is pretty risk-adverse, so will NEVER ride a motorcycle period.

Can you expound on this idea? I am constantly enraged at the casual approach to time that so many people in my life have and some insight might help me temper it for those I know will never change.

Sure. I am always focused on being on time. I will leave things undone to be punctual if I have to. On the other hand are people who will not leave things undone just to be on time. They go through a process before leaving. Whatever that is. They aren’t happy being on time for an event if they didn’t go through their “leaving process”.

In the end, some people are always late. They will never change and neither will you so set things up so it doesn’t matter. Be clear. If it’s a meeting for business start without them after showing that everything was communicated. Use an agenda etc.

For example. This morning I was a soup sandwich. I put on white socks with my business suit. I noticed as I was putting on my shoes. I said fuck it rather than change socks. If anyone points it out I’ll just say fuck it. Then as I was walking to the bus I realized I forgot a folder with paperwork. Fuck it I told myself. I’ll just make do today. I forgot my bananas and said fuck it I’ll just chow down for lunch.

Someone who has a process is not resilient enough to deal with these fucks ups.

I’ve met people that genuinely don’t understand how long it takes to do things. My mom being one of them. She tries.

Some people can’t understand time just like some can’t shoot a free throw in basketball. It’s easy enough for some.

I am late because of an anxiety disorder, it takes me time to get the strength to leave the house. I'm working on it.

Interesting. I get anxiety IF I'm late

Well I also do get that as well, it's a bit of a vicious cycle.

they always say “it’s just who i am! i just can’t help being late. you have to accept it”

Honestly this comic describes my struggle with being chronically late to a T.

OMG. I always attributed my tardiness to my inability to estimate time (or distances, or height, weight, temperature, or pretty much anything else). I literally cannot say how long it'll take me to travel from one side of the room to the other, nor the distance in between.

But everything that comic said is exactly me.

Now just to figure out how to translate this newfound knowledge into not being 4 hours late to work would be amazing.

As another chronically late person, someone suggested to try timing myself doing different basic tasks so I have a better understanding of how long something takes, but I found it way too tedious to do the tracking long enough to get any real results. It could work for you tho.

I feel like I have an overall poor understanding of the passage of time. I know people who can tell me the approximate time of day without looking at a clock or can tell how long they've been doing something without timing themselves, but can't tell me how they developed those abilities. Comparatively, I just surround myself with clocks and set alarms or obsessively check the time so I won't be late to stuff.

Mini edit: Do you ever get the feeling that it takes you a ridiculously long time to do basic things? My entire life, people have complained about me being slow at things, but I don't know exactly how related that is to the lateness.

Mini edit: Do you ever get the feeling that it takes you a ridiculously long time to do basic things? My entire life, people have complained about me being slow at things, but I don't know exactly how related that is to the lateness.

Yes, I do. On top of the other thing.

Also features of ADHD, btw.

This thread is really making me start to wonder how many people have ADHD without realizing it...

I'm coming back to this because you're one of three people this week who have told me I might have ADHD. I'm gonna look into it and see what my doctor says.

Glad I could help. :-)

Good luck.

Well its hard for me to answer your edit question. I personally don't think so, and I tend to find everyone I work with to be too slow tbh, to a level where I just want to push them aside and do it myself.

But there are some cases of basic tasks that I do so slow I might take me the whole day. For example cooking or cleaning. But I attribute it more to enjoying myself and taking my time intentionally.

my inability to estimate time (or distances, or height, weight, temperature, or pretty much anything else)

Sounds like dyscalculia.

Interesting. Never heard of that before.

I suppose I might have a mild case of it then. Funnily enough though, I am quite good at math. But then again I am terrible at balancing my expenses.

This is great. The part about underestimating how long things take is my biggest issue out of the three. The monkey is sleep, and the metric is that one time I got showered, dressed, and ready in 8 minutes. Also, when you're half awake, the meaning of the time doesn't register until you start getting more awake. So setting an earlier alarm doesn't help. Like, having hit snooze 4 or 5 times (~10 minutes each) doesn't register until I see it's around 10 minutes before the ideal time to leave. Which ends up with me just getting out of the shower at the barely-on-time time to leave, and has me out the door around 10 minutes late.

This was great! I just commented elsewhere that I’m usually late because I am always trying to take care of one more thing before I leave. I’m working on not doing that, and I balance my tendency to run late by saying I need to leave about 10 min before I actually do.

Thank you for sharing this. The entry on procrastination was so spot on that I actually got a bit emotional.

Honestly this comic describes my struggle with being chronically late to a T.

Just so you know, that guy is describing some major features of ADHD.

As I just said in another comment-- this thread is starting to make me wonder how many people have ADHD without realizing it...

Honestly took me until late 20s and a bother and father (with very similar personalities) being diagnosed and medicated.

Actually, even then I was a little skeptical.

Then one day a friend gave me 10mg Adderall... And I wasn't skeptical anymore.

(Then I stated to wonder if eating ephedrine like candy in my teenage years was a weak attempt at self medicating lol)

Hey that used to be me. And yet not I'm not late. How badly do I still want to lay in bed for another 10 minutes? Really badly. But that's highly disrespectful to anyone who is waiting on me, so I need to get up and go. It is literally that easy.

Did you read the link? The point wasn't about being selfish, but not thinking correctly.

Once you're awake, sure. But if your brain is still half asleep babbling dream nonsense then neither the time nor the obligation is coherently on your mind.

Almost downvoted in anger

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So why don't you just change the event to starting 15 minutes earlier on your calendar? Wouldn't that have the same effect?

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That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my mom. She tells to do add fake deadlines for assignments, and it just doesn’t do much. The next best method I’ve found is to plan meticulously.

That's weird. I can't relate at all. It is weird how you kinda make others accommodate for you. So are you late to every single appointment in your life? Job, doctors appointment, weddings, picking up kids??

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Well it's definitely personal. It shows you don't respect the other person

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I don't think it's malice at all. The simply don't care enough, which I think is worse tbh

My ex used to say that forgetting something meant that you don't care about it enough to remember it. Is that also true? That the only reason a person might do something is because they just don't give a shit?

Well, we do very much care actually. We hate it when it happens and we’re not doing it out of disrespect at all. It’s how our brains are wired and we try very hard to manage but it’s tough. Saying we’re just being disrespectful is like saying that depressed people are just lazy.

It’s how our brains are wired

This is a much worse excuse than you think.

It’s not an excuse it’s a reason... as per the previous example, that’s like saying to a person who has tough time getting out of bed due to clinical depression is giving a lame excuse. For those who have ADHD, it sucks. We try our best to work on it, but life just isn’t as easy as we want it to be.

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Thanks, I just realized I’ve stayed up for 45 mins trying to correct such misconceptions. Better get to bed now.

I think the worst thing is when people take it personally and get offended, as that's never the intention.

It doesn't matter if it's intentional that you're late. You are not intentionally on time. That's a lack of respect and I would just stop inviting you to things if you did this to me multiple times.

You might perceive it as a lack of respect, but it’s not, seriously. If a person decides to stop inviting me, I’d totally understand their decision.

You might not perceive it as a lack of respect, but it is, seriously.

However, there’s absolutely no intention for it to come across that way. We’re probably far more annoyed by our lateness than you are.

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Luckily we are not judged based on single traits in our lives.

Luckily I can judge people based on patterns I've observed in my life and I'll go paddle with someone else.

And so Gary paddles alone XD

Same. It is not that I don't respect other people's time. I desperately want to be on time to everything and when I'm late I often start panicking pretty hard. There is just something about my brain or luck or something that results in me being late very frequently. I HATE it.

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I have to leave now to be on time, but I could also clip my nails, hmm...

No, more like "FUCK, I forgot I still have to do xyz to get out the door, and I have to leave in 5-10 minutes! Why did I think I had enough time to clip my nails? God damn it I'm so stupid..."

I don't want to be rude, but why don't you leave earlier?

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Does this mean only some people don't want to stop what they are doing? Or just that some people don't care about the person they are inconveniencing by not getting up and leaving on time?

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You can justify why you are late any way you want, but just know that the message you are sending to the other person is that you think your time is more important than their time. You probably never think that way, but that is what the other person thinks you think. There are tons of comments in this thread where people lay out strategies they use to get themselves out the door on time. It's a valuable life skill that takes practice.

I am PAINFULLY aware that is the message I'm sending. I really don't want to be late. I don't know how to stop being late. I have tried so much.

but just know that the message you are sending to the other person is that you think your time is more important than their time

Might as well tell a smoker that smoking is bad for their health. Most chronically-late people are already well aware that it's rude and that everyone thinks they're rude, which is why most people apologize for being late.

Apologies don't mean anything if you keep doing the behavior you have to apologise for again and again.

Missing the point, friend-o.

Check out this comic.

Thanks for that!

But PS, in case you weren't aware... That dude is describing textbook ADHD features!

But I like his analogies. I read a few of the other related pages. I'll have to see if I can use this-- maybe it will help...

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It's almost like the people who have brains that keep track of time are less open-minded and empathetic or something. They have an Opinion. Their Opinion Cannot Be Changed, Because They Are Right. All hail the Masters of Time.

Then you have a whole group of folks who either know they are ADD or don't but are ADD, repeatedly trying to explain here how things are not the same for them, how they aren't trying to disrespect others, and how bad it makes them feel.

Group A: I don't care. You're still a bad person.

Group B: tries yet again to explain/hangs head in shame/accepts their inferiority

And we wonder why ADD runs along with self-esteem and depression issues.

ADD people: You make our art and music and movies and dances and plays and write our novels, you hyper-focus and design our technologies and discover new things and you teach us wonderful knowledge while working from offices that look like a paper factory exploded.

And yeah, you may show up 15 minutes late to every party, but I'd still rather talk to you all night than anyone who thinks having a head that is also a clock is some kind of laudable personal accomplishment.

I'm not the one you asked, but having ADHD (super easily distracted) and dyscalculia (terrible at judging time), getting anywhere on time is a serious struggle for me, no matter how early I plan on leaving. The only thing I've found that helps is setting alarms and making tasks for those alarms. For example, on school mornings, the 7:10 alarm is the 'get dressed' alarm. The 7:15 alarm is the brush hair and teeth alarm. 7:20 means get everything in the backpack and put shoes on. 7:25 is when you put your jacket on and double check that everything else is ready. 7:30 means you need to be out the door immediately. NOT setting alarms means we're gonna be late and the kid misses the bus and I get a call from the school's truancy officer.

Hmm... I've tried setting alarms with 5-15 minute intervals in certain situations... Which can help a little, sometimes... But I somehow haven't tried tying the alarms to tasks or deadlines. I'll have to try that...

Yeah that doesn't work for me either. I just keep thinking "k, I got five more minutes" and then continue to wander around trying to remember what it was that I told myself I needed 10 minutes ago. Making the alarms specific helps a lot.

+100 Multiple specific alarms and a process list. This is the secret to executive function for those who aren't naturally good at it.

Yup yup. It took me 4 years of trial and error (mostly error) to figure this out, but it's made life sooooo much easier and less stressful, and I wish someone would've told me about it long ago. It's one of those things that's super simple and seems obvious in hindsight but takes a long time to figure out on your own or having someone telling you in order for you to think 'that's a good idea and I should do that'.

All trial and error is mostly error, that's not a you thing. ;) And now you're here, having worked it out and helping others! Well spent error/effort in my book. :)

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ADHD and I do think that's a part of it. So the same way someone with OCD

That awesome moment when I’ve got both disorder ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thankfully, my OCD isn’t very time consuming. So while I’m rushing during my commute because my ADHD self got distracted, I can carry out my covert mental checking compulsions in my head.

What medication?

When I was taking a medication that worked for me (I had to stop due to serious physical complications)

Mind if I ask what/why?

I desperately want to be on time to everything and when I'm late I often start panicking pretty hard.

Fun part is, the panic usually makes it worse.

Oh my god I know! I'm already late. I don't have time to stand in the stairwell and hyperventilate.

Don’t expect others to change to accommodate your shittiness. It is personal - you’re basically telling someone “I can’t manage my own schedule so it’s now your responsibility to manage my schedule.”

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I think the truth is, if someone is late coming to see you, it's because they don't want to see you. I'm not late seeing people I'm excited about but if I feel like I have to do hang out with you, I'm a lot less likely to fight my social anxiety and am late because I'm dreading the whole event.

You can't be personal with everyone, bud. I'm always late because I never want to go anywhere and keep staring at the ceiling. I may have depression but who knows, at least I am sure I don't do it on purpose.

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ADHD (especially the inattentive subtype)includes zoning out a lot and sometimes there’s that foggy feeling. That is not a “complete lack of respect”. It’s not about rather staring at a ceiling instead of being on time, it’s that some people weren’t lucky to be born with the natural executive functioning skills to manage time well.

If I do this to everyone, it's not personal. Isn't that what personal means, when you try to actively go against someone because you dislike them?

I don't dislike anyone. Except myself and my unwillingness to do anything.

Hi, I have fairly severe ADD, and you’re somewhat correct. Being in time is a battle because the flow of time is really hard to grasp consistently. So yes; it’s hard to take this advice, but it’s not because we like being late. It’s because losing track of things happens way more often than we care to admit.

What really blows my mind with people who are perpetually late is lying when you call to see where they are..

“Hey man, where are you? Everyone is waiting on you.”

“Oh sorry, almost there. I’m like 5 minutes away.”

In reality they still haven’t even left their house which is 30 minutes away.

Why do this? I’m just going to call again in 10 minutes to see where they hell you are. You’re not helping anyone. You’re making the situation worse.

Why do this? I’m just going to call again in 10 minutes to see where they hell you are. You’re not helping anyone. You’re making the situation worse.

Embarrassment maybe?

Either way... People who are like this are very likely to be ADHD. ADHD is an impulse control disorder. That part of their brain works differently (the part that's supposed to control our impulses.) This might be part of the reason there's a big crossover between ADHD and substance abuse.

But if someone had a hard time controlling their impulses, and they're in a position where the truth embarrasses them and they have the impulse to lie, it's possible they could give in to that impulse before realizing it, even if it's a bad idea.

Just a thought... About the best I could figure...

This is a super interesting take on it, but I don't quite follow.

Would you elaborate a bit on what you mean?

Sure. I am always focused on being on time. I will leave things undone to be punctual if I have to. On the other hand are people who will not leave things undone just to be on time. They go through a process before leaving. Whatever that is. They aren’t happy being on time for an event if they didn’t go through their “leaving process”.

For example. This morning I was a soup sandwich. I put on white socks with my business suit. I noticed as I was putting on my shoes. I said fuck it rather than change socks. If anyone points it out I’ll just say fuck it. Then as I was walking to the bus I realized I forgot a folder with paperwork. Fuck it I told myself. I’ll just make do today. I forgot my bananas and said fuck it I’ll just chow down for lunch.

Someone who has a process is not resilient enough to deal with these fucks ups.

For example. This morning I was a soup sandwich. I put on white socks with my business suit. I noticed as I was putting on my shoes. I said fuck it rather than change socks. If anyone points it out I’ll just say fuck it. Then as I was walking to the bus I realized I forgot a folder with paperwork. Fuck it I told myself. I’ll just make do today. I forgot my bananas and said fuck it I’ll just chow down for lunch.

Someone who has a process is not resilient enough to deal with these fucks ups.

Question, how do you factor someone being, say, five minutes late to work everyday due to public transportation scheduling? If they were willing to stay an extra 5 minutes after because they were late?

If the options are something like five minutes late vs fifty minutes early, and something can be worked out and agreed on as you said, perfectly fine. Public transport can be annoying that way.

That’s up to their boss and them. Sounds like their work hours were changed and everyone is satisfied. You’re only late if your boss and you had an agreed starting time and that agreement was violated.

Can you give me some info on this? I am one of those people who is always running late. Sometimes because I plan poorly but there are other times where I swear - SWEAR I plan with enough time and still somehow can't make it on time.

What am I doing wrong? It's like I travel through the twilight zone sometimes. Help!

It's only true in some cases. Not everyone who is late is a selfish asshole. Some people have difficulty judging time (example: ADHD, dyscalculia, never developed a sense of time as a kid) and have a hard time with motivation (ADHD again, depression, physical illness, etc).

Maybe one of those is my problem.

I definitely know you're not saying everyone who is late is an asshole - those who are late and have no regard or care of others time, and dont apologize are the ones who are assholes lol

I think my sense of time is poor. I can't tell you how much time has passed if I'm not looking at a clock. Maybe that's what turns into my "twilight zone" I think I don't always realize how long something will take me, and I think I plan enough time but really I don't have enough time? Idk I just know I really try to be on time and I am often not, unless I plan to be super early and leave 30 mins to an hour before I need to.

Someone else mentioned timing yourself doing things, so that you can more accurately plan around those things. I'm terrible at judging time also, and so I have to set several alarms in the morning and assign specific tasks for each (first one means get dressed, 2nd means brush teeth and hair, 3rd means make sure everything is in my bag, etc). It also helps to make a list of every (even little!) thing that needs to be done before you leave. If you gotta fill a cup with coffee, if you need to make sure the cat has food, if you need to take a piss, if you need to find your glasses and keys, if you need to make sure the TV is turned off... write it ALL down, and go through it every time like a checklist. It helps a lot when you don't have to stand there going "shit, I know I'm forgetting something" and then having to turn around and do that thing 5 minutes later when you remember it.

And that’s the secret - everyone else IS leaving 30 minutes to an hour early to make it there on time. Because it often takes that long to drive across town with traffic for many places.

I get it though. I have family members who are like this. Even with the best of intentions, they plan poorly. They have time blindness

Omg thats it! I feel like time blindness perfectly describes me. I try I really do. I'm gonna do this this week, plan 30-60 mins ahead. I'll keep you posted. And thank you!

Wake up 15 minutes early the next time. Set the alarm. Everything you have in your mind. Do it all 15 minutes early. Set alarms in your phone.

Easier said than done. Even with doing all this plus a lot more, I’ve struggled a lot with being on time. I usually plan to be 15-30 mins early, but I often get distracted or still somehow plan it wrongly due to time blindness.

Decided to not be distracted. Tell yourself that when you are getting ready and keep repeating it.

It’s really not that easy when you’ve got ADHD. Distraction can happen multiple times even when I’m consciously trying to avoid it. If it were simple as that, and I wish it was, I would’ve been able to manage my ADHD a long time ago.

For example. This morning I was a soup sandwich. I put on white socks with my business suit. I noticed as I was putting on my shoes. I said fuck it rather than change socks. If anyone points it out I’ll just say fuck it. Then as I was walking to the bus I realized I forgot a folder with paperwork. Fuck it I told myself. I’ll just make do today. I forgot my bananas and said fuck it I’ll just chow down for lunch.

Someone who has a process is not resilient enough to deal with these fucks ups.

Or they have a disability. People with ADHD are often late.

It took many years and coping mechanisms for me to not be late most of the time.

Oh my god this hit me hard, ive always thought like that, rather task oriented, that if im going to go to this room, type this paper, and then leave, it shouldnt matter what time i arrive as long as i get the task done in the timeframe before it ends. Im not late often, its that i justify being late with this when i know its going to happen. I will dually take this advice.

Wait a minute. I need to discuss this with you. That is a fascinating look at being late. I’m a chronic late person, I didn’t used to be though. It wasn’t until after I graduated and move to New York that I started being really late. Idk why. I kick myself each time. Because I know it hurts my chances interviewing or meeting people with work. I’m also a perfectionist so when I’m late to something it weighs on me the whole time. That being said, it’s so true for me it is about the process of leaving. I think about my commute too much. Is that why?

Bro just know how long it takes to do things. Its that easy. If you have to be at work at 9am and it takes 45 minutes to get there, then you need to leave at 8:10. I really dont mean to be patronizing but i dont understand why its an issue. Its just a matter of priority. I gurentee if you were to be offered half a billion dollars if you showed up somewhere at 4am, then you would make it, and probably be an hour early because its a priority. Just do a quick calculation and leave when you are supposed to. If it is a matter of not being ready then just calculate how long it takes you to get ready, subtract that from your 8:10 leave time, and wake up then

Not everyone has this grasp of time. It's incredibly hard for me to figure out how long things actually take. Things like google maps have helped a lot, but figuring how long it's gong to actually take to get ready and my things together etc.... Absolute rubbish.

It's unfortunate some people choose to attribute malice or disregard when sometimes it's a difficultly with time that's the problem. Telling someone who explains how hard it is and how bad they feel, that you don't mean to patronizing but it's just that easy? You succeeded in patronizing, no matter how you supposedly meant it. You also showed a sincere lack of empathy.

Edit: Just remember the person. That person is struggling with something you find easy. They are not you. Feel superior if you must, but don't belittle someone else's difficulties. I said elsewhere, I totally understand being angry when someone is late, especially constantly. They deserve that. They don't deserve for you to presume that they haven't tried the basic ideas on being on time and are simply lazy or rude. Not everyone has the same capabilities.

How often do you get ready without actively trying to see how long it takes? Probably very often.

Actually after many many years and lots of techniques and the right medication, I have finally gotten to where I'm not usually late. See the ADHD brain is wired differently. That's why it's an actual mental disorder and not just people being lazy or hyper. Time management is one of the top issues facing people with ADHD. Just because someone is late doesn't mean they aren't really trying to not be late. You have no idea how much more effort, including implementing strategies before hand, it takes someone with ADHD to get out of the house on time.

Maybe this can help you understand what scientists have identified as some of the reasons people with ADHD struggle so much with time.

Yes but if it was actually a priority for someone to not be late, then they can start paying attention to how long it takes to get ready and get a good idea of it. Once they figure out the things they do and the time it takes to do those things, then it can be a simple as what he said above. It seems like a problem that someone would just say "welp I bad at figuring out how long something will take so there's nothing I can do about it!"

Yes but if it was actually a priority for someone to not be late, then they can start paying attention to how long it takes to get ready and get a good idea of it. Once they figure out the things they do and the time it takes to do those things, then it can be a simple as what he said above. It seems like a problem that someone would just say "welp I bad at figuring out how long something will take so there's nothing I can do about it!"

For many people work ADHD, it doesn't take them the same amount of time to do something every day. Some days a certain task may be quicker or take longer.

ADHD people can also have difficulty with the concept of time itself. Think "dyslexia but with time."

There's a reason many people need meds to function well with ADHD, and not just "hey, try harder."

Why do you assume they aren't trying? Everyone that I know with ADHD has tried different techniques for years before finding things that help them somewhat. It's really so much more complicated than you think. You are basically saying, just try harder and you can overcome a disability. It doesn't always take the same amount of time to get ready, especially if you get distracted or lose things. Now you're gonna say "just stay focused and put your things back in the same place," right? There are multiple ways in which an ADHD brain works differently that makes these seemingly simple tasks much more difficult. I do understand that it's hard to understand and accept, but it's true. This is a short article that explains more about the malfunction of an ADHD brain.

The biggest issue with ADHD in the morning is that sleep brain wanders a lot and you're entirely unaware of it or the passage of time. This leads to things like standing still with the toothbrush in your hand while your brain is chewing on something random and nonsensical from your dream, and you are wholly unaware of this nor of the passage if time until it's been 10 or 15 minutes and you become more awake/aware. Now you're running late.

So, to account for this likely occurrence, you subtract an additional 20 minutes from your wake time and set an earlier alarm. You will snooze this earlier alarm the next morning because that's not time to get up yet as far as your half asleep mind is concerned.

Your sleep brain is not jolted to alertness to get up until the time gets alarming enough to register as a problem (ie: no longer enough time to get ready).

Insert similarly circular issues.

I've considered putting my phone across the room so that I have you get our of bed to turn off the alarm, but I'm concerned that if I do, it might not be loud enough/ I might get to a point where I sleep through it, because I have slept through alarms maybe once a year.

That is definitely one big issue. As a teen I actually had an alarm made for the deaf or hard of hearing. It flashed lights, shook the bed, and had an incredibly loud alarm that I could modulate when I inevitably started sleeping through it. Didn't really help much. For getting out of bed my best solution consisted of a loud alarm at which time I took my med and slept some more. Then a lamp with full spectrum bulb on a timer and a gentle alarm or talk radio for 15 min. Then an actual alarm that had tasks i had to accomplish to turn it off (I Can't Wake Up app). Then i could usually get up and start with my techniques to try to overcome the other issues. However it is harder to get both an IR and an ER amphetamine prescribed. And I would have to cycle between alarm sounds and tasks as I got used to them.

However there are many more factors that come into play regarding the ADHD mind and time. This is just one obstacle.

Of they think they can "make up time" by travelling faster. Because driving dangerously has never made anyone late...

It's a such completely stupid thing to think. Even besides being potentially unsafe, it's still foolish. The amount of time you can "make up" when driving is often negligible to non-existent – other traffic, stopping at lights, etc dictate so much of you pace that it's difficult to actually increase your average speed by a meaningful amount.

I don't understand how this is even somewhat accepted. I get genuinely stressed out if I'm running late for something. I'm the guy that plans to get there 5 minutes early. Yes, sometimes things happen and you are late for something, but a phone call/text to give a heads up solves that problem.

I have a friend who has a girlfriend that is like this. She's always late for stuff and it's very annoying. One time myself, them, and like 2 other friends had plans to go see a movie (and this was opening weekend and at the time my theatre did not have reserved seating so you wanted to get there early if you wanted a decent seat). We met at their apartment which was like 5 minutes from the movie theatre and we were planning on getting to the theatre 30 minutes before the movie started. Guess who decided she needed to shower and put on all this makeup 35 minutes before the movie started? This girl. Guess who got to the theatre during the previews and had to split up and take whatever crappy seats were still available? Our group.

Too often always running late for things is just accepted as a quirky personality trait rather than an annoyance.

I feel your pain. People like this need to buy their own ticket. If I identify a friend like this I will buy my own in advance. In the end these process people I speak of have their own anxieties frustrations about how they deal with this too.

That’s not true! I’ve been the late person. My whole life it was a nasty habit I developed and couldn’t break, but as I got older I made a concerted effort to make my “on time” be 10-15 minutes early. That’s helped enormously and I can safely say that I’ve now mostly broken the habit. If I’m late nowadays it’s by less than 5 minutes and I feel terrible about it.

Here's another one for your study.

I know someone who's always late to everything. Further, if other people are relying on her (e.g. for a lift), they're always late, because she's late. So it's a clusterfuck of lateness - she's late, people relying on her are late, and then anyone expecting her or her reliants runs late/gets annoyed because their time is wasted every. single. time.

If I remember rightly, in the past I was reliably informed it's largely because she thinks it's rude to show up early. So she's late. Butshe seems not to understand the concept that being late (and making other people late) is rude too. Ruder, in my book, because to me it screams "I don't respect your time". It really irritates me.

I would be prepared to be late if I accepted a ride or help from her. Then I would no longer be late be cause I accepted it already.

I feel your pain.

Do people at least stop relying on her eventually?

Some people don't have a choice - her child and ex husband (who shares childcare so needs child to be picked up/delivered sometimes). And if she's dropping anyone off (e.g. ex husband) to someone else's house, the someone else doesn't have a choice either.

This is an accurate observation, but it also requires that the individual consider their time more valuable than others', regardless of the situation. Even if they're unaware of or actively deny that fact.

This is not true. I’m chronically late and it gives me intense anxiety each time I am.

I hate when people say stuff like this... I have adhd, being on time is a daily struggle for me.

Haha yeah mate same here. They'll never understand though. They don't know what it's like to always zone out in your head and lose the concept of how much time has passed. It isn't personal but redditors are really passionate about this topic so meh.

Most people who believe this are the selfish ones. Everything is about them. Unable or unwilling to understand someone else's difficulties, and instead attributing every potential slight against them as a calculated attack.

ADHD makes time very complicated and difficult. And basic advice like "leave 15 min early" doesn't help at all when you don't know when leaving on time is or how long 15 min really is. It took me many many years, therapy, and medication to get better at this, and I'm still late sometimes, especially if it's a one time thing or something changed. Was late recently because I thought I left with enough to time to leave from another location but grossly underestimated how much further it was. I suggest Driven from Distraction if you'd like some more ideas on how people with ADHD can learn to get around their problems with time management and executive function.

Don't let the bastards get you down.

Most people who believe this are the selfish ones. Everything is about them. Unable or unwilling to understand someone else's difficulties, and instead attributing every potential slight against them as a calculated attack.

Oh snap!

Mirror'd

I don't think it's about the process. It's about being selfish, regardless of whether or not the individual doing it realizes it. Time is the most valuable thing we have––it's one of few things in life you can never, ever get back. When someone makes plans and flakes out, or doesn't show up on time without explanation, or delays things because they have a "process" they have to go through to get to where they're supposed to be, what they're really doing is theft. They are robbing others of their time.

It's incredibly selfish. I'm not even saying you have to be on time 100%, but you at least can contact whoever is waiting on you to let them know you haven't forgotten them. (Cell phones are a thing now!) OP is right––it's about credibility and respect. If you're constantly demonstrating to people that you're selfish by being late, they aren't going to trust you with anything important. They know you're willing to implicitly lie all the time when it comes to your schedule––they don't know what else you might be dishonest about.

EDIT: Apparently everyone on Reddit has ADHD. If that's a real diagnosis, it's between you, your doctor, and your peers, but it doesn't make it any less important to respect other people's time. And the existence of mental disorders doesn't excuse the majority of people who just don't have it together.

Oh my god this hit me hard, ive always thought like that, rather task oriented, that if im going to go to this room, type this paper, and then leave, it shouldnt matter what time i arrive as long as i get >the task done in the timeframe before it ends. Im not late often, its that i justify being late with this when i know its going to happen. I will dually take this advice

I feel your pain, but this person's POV is to be understood in this context too. I used to get judgemental, but honestly, there are better things in life than being judgemental about a huge percentage of the population. Like I said, and I used to be judgemental, and there are cultural aspects to runnign late, but after watching someone continually run late, I realized that some people are process oriented and need to go through some sort of ritual or preparation before leaving. There are probably selfish people out there, too. The person I quoted felt they had to be prepared before leaving, though.

But if you a have a ritual or process for going somewhere it probably rarely deviates and therefore you can deduce the time it takes to do your process and back plan accordingly. No?

Exactly. Anything else is just mental gymnastics.

But if you a have a ritual or process for going somewhere it probably rarely deviates and therefore you can deduce the time it takes to do your process and back plan accordingly. No?

Only if the process is always the same and, perhaps more importantly, if tasks take you the same amount of time to complete every time.

For some people this is definitely not true.

One would think.

Don't get me wrong, I realize there are people out there who don't see things as being an issue of selfishness or honesty, and I'm not willing to totally dismiss someone because they're late. BUT, it does mean they're starting out behind others from a credibility standpoint.

It's not really a matter of point of view. If someone is well-intentioned but constantly late, it's not the responsibility of people who show up on time, or at least communicate why they're late to see things from the other's perspective. Eventually, people will start to take them less and less seriously when they make commitments. It's natural.

Frankly, however, I don't accept that ritual preparation is to blame or is even an acceptable explanation. I don't like leaving and going places and have rituals of my own, which I do in advance so I'm not late. You can do both, unless you're disorganized.

What do you think of what I posted a couple of months ago about the same topic? https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/afdwye/what_toxic_behavior_has_been_normalized_by_society/edyvl80?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

I think you've explained what's going on, and any reasonable person, including me, will be understanding. That doesn't mean everyone will be, and it does mean that you're going to probably have a harder time finding/keeping a job, etc. What's important is that you're clearly going above and beyond trying to keep up despite some adversity, and the right employer/friend/etc. will respect that.

But you're definitely in the minority. I know and have known many people––friends, coworkers, church members, etc.––who are routinely late, cancel plans, and otherwise can't be trusted when timing or reliability is important. My post is directed at them.

You can do both, unless you're disorganized.

... Like someone with severe ADHD.

People keep bringing this up like it's some significant chunk of the population. I get it--disorders make life more difficult. Coming to an understanding with others so they know when you might be late is still your responsibility, as is at least making your best effort to work past it. Bottom line, it may not be fair, but not everyone is going to be non-judgemental about it.

People keep bringing this up like it's some significant chunk of the population.

I've seen estimates for the adult population range from 3 million to about 10 million.

That last figure is close to 5% of the adult population.

And mind you, that's just what we know / what's been reported. Who's to say how many more undiagnosed cases might be out there?

Common enough where we all probably know at least one, if not more.

(And most of the stories are about "that one friend...")

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by that.

You must be one of those late people then ;)

Nah, I'm actually usually too early. I just don't get the thought process you're describing. What does valuing the leaving and going somewhere have to do with when they arrive?

People think differently. You enjoy being there when an event starts. So do I. Some people enjoy the process of leaving and going to the event. It’s weird. I personally cannot understand it. The 4th dimension exists even if I cannot perceive it.

I'm still not getting it. I don't enjoy being early per se, I just feel that if you're late you are perceived as not being reliable, you potentially waste people's time, and it's just generally disrespectful. But here you're saying that people accept all that and do it for some enjoyment? But if it's this window of leaving and getting there that they enjoy, why don't they just shift the window earlier and get there on time? I just don't see how it relates.

But I want to take this advice and I'm working on it damn it.

I know it's my fault but I'm trying to be better.

This is a wildly inaccurate and inconsiderate generalization. “The people who are late”. Who are these people? They are parents with young kids. Things happen. They are individuals with physical disabilities. Things happen. They are people with mental disabilities. Things happen. Life happens. I had a good friend who was like you guys- she told me that anyone who was late to meet her was super disrespectful for wasting her time. Then I told her how difficult it is for me to get out of the house most days. How I used to skip class if I was going to be late because I was so ashamed. Ashamed that I struggled with anxiety, depression, mood-swings, all from PTSD. I explained to her how most days, 10 minutes late for her would be a major victory for me. You don’t know everyone’s struggle. Usually it’s not even visible. I try not to judge people based on things that don’t REALLY hurt me. Most people who are late periodically aren’t trying to be malicious. They aren’t cackling to themselves about wasting your time. Try to have empathy. Think about other people’s struggle and not just how it impacts you. Because 99% of the time, it’s much worse for the person struggling.

Do you mind elaborating on this? I'm somebody who is always about 2-5 minutes late. Whether it be class, work, appointments, you name it. I have ADHD and have always boiled it down to poor time management skills and expecting that things take less time than they actually do (common symptoms of ADHD).

What makes me late is that in my mind I honestly believe that I can wake up, shower, get ready for the day, eat breakfast, take the dog out for a run, and clean the snow off my car in about an hour.

It could also be about anxiety. Anxiety makes people avoidant and avoidance makes people late, not finish projects, etc. It’s about control, too. Some people think that it is one of the few things that they can control, even though being late actually increases anxiety. Buried deeply under all that seemingly blasé attitude about your time is their anxiety. Or, they’re just assholes.

Just show up naked!

I would love that.

In their mind the process of leaving and going somewhere is more important than being on time.

What do you mean? They think that since they are going somewhere the fact that they show up is all that matters?

I'm consistently late and it's not that I dont care at all, I constantly feel terrible for it. It's that I somehow ALWAYS forget to account for things and have a poor sense of time. Like I'll think "okay just gotta put clothes on and leave, that should be 10 minutes." When in reality it was put clothes on, brush my teeth, find my keys, run back in the house for my charger, find a hair tie, feed my cats, and I didnt even consider if there was traffic, finding a parking spot, walking to my car and walking across a huge parking lot then suddenly I'm 10 minutes late.

I dont know why my brain is like this, it's like I literally forget things I constantly have to account for and deal with until I'm in the moment.

I'm diagnosed with ADHD so my brain it just fucky, but it sucks because people dont understand it but I honestly dont either and even when I really, REALLY try not to be late I still end up a few minutes late. ADHD sucks because I feel like even trying my very hardest I'm still not meeting expectations.

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Thank you for that, I never realized i also have an aversion to transitioning activities but I related to that a lot. I really hate having to change what I'm doing

Right? It's weird reading about a disorder you have, seeing yourself described, and suddenly realizing that your frustrating "personal quirks" are actually the common symptoms of a disease.

And ADHD is a bitch.

But how many years of this happening does it take to remember to think about the fact that you have to park your car when you get there? Or that you’ll need a hair tie?

I’m not trying to be argumentative or condescending, I’m just really curious.

Wow, what a concept that I'm sure has never occured to anyone with ADHD.

One of the symptoms is poor memory.

It's not about remembering, it's just always something. My brain isnt wired right and it's like I literally cant process or plan well for something until its immediately a pressing matter

My brain isnt wired right and it's like I literally cant process or plan well for something until its immediately a pressing matter

Literally.

To use an extreme example so it's easier for some to grasp: Would you expect someone with severe brain damage to remember a bunch of little details both correctly and at the appropriate time, while also being distracted by other things?

Similar deal, less extreme.

Thank you for asking!! It isn't about remembering. It's that the ADHD brain struggles with many tasks that play into being on time. We often struggle with executive function, which allows you to begin or switch tasks; time blindness, which means we don't notice the passage of time very easily so it seems to move very quickly; estimating the amount of time things take and correctly combining them; being distractable and hyperfocus, which are big problems when combined with time blindness; creating habits; organizing belongings, hello lost keys.... And more.

Everyone struggles with some of these things, but it's been proven that many of these are due to the differences in the brains of people with ADHD. Others may be negative coping mechanisms, especially with undiagnosed or those diagnosed as an adult. I've found luck with a combination of medication to help regulate my malfunctioning brain, and therapy to learn skills and techniques to help overcome the years of negative coping mechanisms I had developed and learn how to work around the problems inherent to adhd that medication can't yet solve.

I found this had a great quick overview of the issues we face with time management.

It isn't about remembering. It's that the ADHD brain struggles with many tasks that play into being on time.

Actually, memory is one of those tasks / functions!

It's like telling people "well, just don't forget that then". If it were that easy, it would have happened already.

You were diagnosed with ADHD. That's precisely why your brain is like this! ADHD makes it incredibly difficult to navigate time. Not only does time seem to move faster (or slower while hyper focusing), but we underestimate how long things take (because time seems to move faster). It's also more likely someone with ADHD will misplace things, get distracted, or forget something.

It's unfortunate that so many people can't accept that this IS really hard for some people. Rather than trying to understand or accept that the same things do not come easily to everyone, they choose to believe that the intent is malicious and conscious. It does make me sad that so many people believe I care less because I've failed to overcome the malfunction of my brain. Luckily after over 20 years after my diagnosis as an adult, therapy, and medication, I've got a better handle on how to overcome this. I'm still often late, or at least behind. But the people truly matter in my life understand and know who I really am.

Thank you for this <3 it does really suck most people see being late as a sign of being selfish or malicious, it really isnt and I never ever feel good about it or choose to be late

I don't think it's that people can't accept that time management is difficult for some. It's just that it's frustrating that us "on time" people are often expected to alter our plans, and our time, to accommodate chronically late people.

It doesn't necessarily perturb me if someone loses credibility or misses out on opportunities because they are chronically late. It's unfortunate, but ultimately not my problem. But if I have to sit around twiddling my thumbs for half an hour because Late Lisa is, once again, late for the mandatory meeting, I get irritated. And now we're all late to things for the rest of the day.

I manage my time well, so it's simply not fair to be punished for another's shortcomings.

I also get frustrated having to lie about what time an event starts to trick Late Lisa into being on time for once. "Manage my time for me, because I can't." No. Not fair. I already manage my own schedule, why should I have to manage yours?

I don't mean to come off as malicious. I don't hate chronically late people, or even dislike them. I'm just frustrated.

I wish it didn't have to be this way, but we live in a time-constrained world now. We aren't picking berries and hunting mammoths as the seasons gently flow by. We're all expected to be on time, and if I'm constantly handicapped because I'm always trying to accommodate Late Lisa, I get frustrated.

Thank you so much for this considered response!! I completely understand being upset about people being late, especially consistently so. I would say I deserve that anger. I do not deserve to be seen as deliberately seeing my time as more important, or that I'm not trying. As this thread can illustrate, many people absolutely have no empathy for people who struggle and instead choose to believe those people are lazy and selfish, even when presented with evidence to the contrary.

I don't think it's that people can't accept that time management is difficult for some.

It is though, and you can see it clearly again and again in this thread. I appreciate that this may not be you personally, but it does seem to be true for many others.

And your frustration is perfectly understandable.

But do also try to understand... Late Lisa might get home from an event / meet / whatever and break down crying, wondering WTF is wrong with her, and why she can't seem to not fuck things up.

We know how it looks, and that doesn't make us feel good.

So try to be 15 minutes early?

With ADHD, it’s easier said than done. It’s possible, I’ve done it a few times, but it doesn’t always work out.

it’s easier said than done

Most things are easier said than done. That isn't an excuse not to do things.

I do that plus a lot more, but unfortunately for a lot of people, especially those with ADHD, we don’t have the natural executive functioning skills that most have that allow them to plan and carry out those plans effectively. It’s a daily struggle trying to manage the symptoms of ADHD.

Always do, my brain is just wired wrong

So visit a therapist.

A lot of us, but the wiring of brain isn’t magically fixed by popping pills and talking to a therapist. It takes months/years of hard work.

I know. I’ve worked through shit in therapy. But I didn’t expect other people to accept my shortcomings and say “well that’s how my brain is! Better accept it!” I worked to improve myself and sincerely apologized when I let others down.

I’ve never expected others to just allow me to be that way. I appreciate accountability by others, but I also appreciate when others don’t jump to conclusions and assume I’m purposefully being disrespectful and selfish.

I never said you were purposefully selfish, but that your behavior is completely selfish, regardless of your intent.

Someone I knew was chronically late for monthly meetings that I held, for years, about 1/2 hour late.

He started having his own meetings, and was always 1/2 early.

It cemented in my mind that it's not about being late, it is about only caring about themselves and not giving a fuck about other people. Just rudeness to the extreme. They have all kinds of excuses, "it's just how they are" etc, but that is just bullshit, they just don't care about other people, only themselves. They know exactly what they are doing when they are late, despite all their protests otherwise.

I understand being late once in a great while - traffic, etc - but a chronic late person, I will not have anything to do with people like that.

One dude you know being an asshole doesn't mean that everyone is an asshole, and tbh it's a little insane that you would jump to that conclusion based on one person's actions.

and tbh it's a little insane that you would jump to that conclusion based on one person's actions.

Hey let's be fair here-- some people may have as hard a time with applying logic, as we do with managing time. lol

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Again, one person you know being an asshole doesn't mean everyone is, and it's bananas to assume that every human being is the exact same as some random fucknard you worked with once.

I admitted that everyone isn't. I put it at 99.54%, so out of 10,000 people that are late, 54 of them are not assholes. The 54 that are not are probably because they are on walkers or 98 years old, or maybe legitimately mentally retarded (not saying that in a bad way). All the rest ---> assholes.

And you're 99.54% an idiot. We can all make up numbers, vato. Furthermore, I'm gonna go ahead and start telling everyone that all people on reddit are myopic idiots based on my limited interaction with you and you only.

Everything you say here is reasonable.

I wonder if narcissists do this?

More on that showing up a little bit early (>10minutes) will set you above a lot of other people who show up on the dot.

“To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be forgotten”

-My college football head coach.

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to!"

That’s fine for wizards, the other advice is best for the rest of us.

So what you're saying is, all I got to do is join the KKK and become grand wizard?

My football coach used to say this one all the time! It was always when he showed up late high as fuck tho

It's funny how he said that, and then got imprisoned by Saruman and never showed up at Bree when he meant to.

The actual meaning of the quote refers to his appearance at the end of helms deep though... along with his admonition about the morning light. How did he know it would be the most crucial moment of the battle? @_@

"that's fine for you you grey haired ageless fuck, but us mortals have shit to do and limited time to do it."

Unless another wizard locks him on top of his tower.

I see you’ve met my DnD group

Wizard’s getting cut from the team.

--MY football coach.

My buddy quoted that once when he was late and one of the later times when he was late we started without him and he was livid.

In the Army we had a schedule, and if you showed up 10 minutes early you were on time. Unfortunately people get paranoid about what “on time” means, so we had folks showing up 10 minutes early to the 10-minutes-early time. Some people even started showing up 10 minutes before that, so by civilian standards they were half an hour early and thought that was on time.

Battalion runs were so fun, showing up 45 minutes early to run 8 miles.

Had a similar thing like that at my last job that was "If you're 5 minutes early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are late."

I've always been the person 15 minutes early to everything though (potentially being late really gives me anxiety). It's a trait that runs in my family, but I would rather be like that than be the person that is late to everything.

My guess is that your employer was one of those that say "Show up early but don't clock in until your actual start time." Which is technically illegal, yet every shitty employer does it.

Nah, it was more in reference to showing up early to client meetings. Not for the actual work day (plus we didn't clock in anyway, it was a full time job). This was a pretty good company...even got a $10k bonus one year.

Oh for client meetings, of course.

I hate this, have always hated this. What's the point of agreeing a time at all of one person secretly thinks it means another, completely different time?

I'll be exactly on time, not a minute before, thanks. My time matters to me, too.

And then he had everyone go out to move the goalposts.

My current boss put in my yearly evaluation that I am always on time, but I could get here five minutes earlier. "As Vince Lombardi once said 'if you're not five minutes early, you're already ten minutes late.'" So I started showing up thirty minutes to an hour early, and did that for six months. He recently told me that he should fire me for showing up early and working off the clock.

“I told you to get here at 6:15 which means you should get here at 6, but you didn’t really need to be here till 6:30 because the class start time is 6:45 which allows the instructor to start at 7.” -my old 1SG

Always hated that saying. It makes no sense to me to call things what they aren't. I had a boss in high school that would give me a hard time for getting there at 7:27 when I started at 7:30. If you want me to be there at 7:20 Dave, then make my shift start at 7:20.

To be early is to be annoying

Pete Carroll's book is actually pretty good when he talks about how you set rules for a team and why.

Military Doctrine.

My band director said the same thing.

Hell my Marching Band Director cemented that into our brains, pretty useful advice

zu früh ist nicht pünktlich

My coach said, “If you’re not 5 minutes early you’re 10 minutes late.”

“Early is on time, on time is late, late is unacceptable.”

-high school director. My college chorale director upped the ante to “late is fired,” so I’m kinda scared of her.

One of my lecturers said something similar to me "If you're early, you are on time; if you're on time, you are late and if you are late you are fired" definitely 100% the case in my industry so words to live by!

I heard it as "5 minutes early is still 10 minutes late"

If you’re not early, you’re late

My coach would say, “If you’re early, you’re on time, if you’re on time, you’re late, if you’re late, you’re running!”

Tempus Fuckit.

Are you a Wolverine?

My grandpa would always say this to me as well.

“To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, to be late is to be forgotten”

-Elin Hilderbrand

I figured he snatched it from somebody

My middle school band teacher would say this, except instead Forgotten is replaced with Dead. It's been like 15 years now and it still stuck with me 😂

and my high school band director.

The Marines say the last line as, "...to be late us to be dead."

Hell even to be early you need a hint of motivation. Any logical thought that comes to your mind that convinces you enough to make yourself wake up 2 hours early and wait 1-2 hours for the class to start while feeling like you’re dying, aka no sleep.

I straight up am unable to feel, think and believe those essential thoughts. They are shrouded in clouds and smoke in my mind, hidden from me and my emotions.

So I need to know, so it’s not just a pity party, can you relate? Or is this an uncommon thought (assumption) to have?

Was honestly expecting a The Ranch reference

r/brandnewsentence

I knew the version

"Early means on time, on time is late, late is unforgivable"

"If you're early you're on time, if you're on time you're late and if you're late you're fired!"

  • my first boss

Words to live by and one thing that has always stuck with me big time. This is the main reason I think I've always excelled at jobs my whole life. I've never had a job where I didn't move up the ladder quickly and I think it's because this motto is at the core of my work ethic. I say it to my crew all the time. And when I get a new guy on my crew I make sure it's the first thing I say to them before even asking their name or anything.

“If you’re early you’re on time, if you’re on time you’re late, and if you’re late you’re an asshole.” -My assistant college baseball coach

I went to a military college and our saying was "if you're early you're on time, if you're on time you're late, and if you're late don't bother.

I'm always 5-10 minutes early for everything...

Hey, I got a similar mantra from a coach once.

“If you’re early you’re on time, if you’re on time you’re late, and if you’re late don’t even bother”

"If you are early, you're on time. If you are on time, you're late. If you're late, may God forgive you because I wont."

-My marching band instructor

“Yur 5 minutes early, yur 10 minutes late!”

Division 3: Football’s Finest

If you're always early then you need a life.

No one is going to point out that this dude is suggesting you be MORE THAN 10 min early?

It was my first thought. Also, if I’m in charge of a team and they start showing up that early, it stresses me the fuck out. I’m not expecting you til 6, please don’t start asking me shit at 5:30

Shooting to be 15 minutes early is perfect. If you actually arrive 15 minutes early as planned it's easy to find a way to kill the time, but many times things come up and you don't end up being as early as you thought (15 mins usually allows for enough buffer).

Hahah for me personally it makes me feel better, but obviously use discretion based on the situation. Work/an interview/professional thing/movie I’d say anywhere from 10-20 minutes early is good, for social stuff generally 5-10 minutes.

Same dude. I always tell people "if I'm 5 minutes early, I'm 10 minutes late"

I don't get the rush for getting into a movie in time or early. It's fifteen minutes of trailers once that scheduled time actually hits.

How is greater than ten minutes a little bit early?

Based on context, I'd say it's fairly obvious they just used the wrong symbol.

But at the same time, showing up too early can make you look bad in front of some people. Like a try hard or someone who doesn't manage their time properly.

Nah. Depending on the circumstance, being early is just as disrespectful of peoples time as being late. Being on the dot is ideal. Early is for a doctors appointment or an interview.

There’s a window. 10 minutes before is the most you should show up early, any earlier and you begin to enter the stage of being a nuisance. 5 minutes is ideal though. I know of very few circumstances where being 5 minutes early is disrespectful.

Exactly, and this person is suggesting more than 10 minutes. If I invited you over for dinner, I don't want to have to deal with you while I'm cooking or cleaning or setting the table. If you're trying to respect my time, why would my time be any less valuable before the planned meeting time.

I think that’s what most people miss. I was just basically clarifying the conditions being talked about. Early is fine as long as it falls within certain parameters.

To use your example, the person hosting dinner has an assumption that they have time to prepare and get ready. Showings up early inhibits that and you become a stresser in said host. A reasonable expectation can be had that 5-10 minutes beforehand said host won’t be planning to use that time for getting ready.

Exactly, and this person is suggesting more than 10 minutes. If I invited you over for dinner, I don't want to have to deal with you while I'm cooking or cleaning or setting the table. If you're trying to respect my time, why would my time be any less valuable before the planned meeting time.

Perfectly fair...

But man, seems like the tl;Dr of this whole sub-thread is "show up within a 5 minute window or people will probably think you're an asshole."

lol

Oh, and also "most people seem to be really edgy about others having an impact on their time, in any way."

I disagree. 5-10 minutes early is always respectful. I'm very busy, if I can start something a few minutes early because the person I'm waiting on is early that makes a huge difference to me. 30 min early and I think you're an idiot but arriving just a bit early demonstrates punctuality and that you're taking the additional buffer to ensure you are on time even if there is some sort of unexpected delay.

Edit: I interpreted this as professionally related. All of you redditors that throw all these parties need not worry. I won't be 10 minutes early to à party.

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If you're having people meet at your house or hosting an event you should always expect some people to show up 5-10 minutes early and take that into consideration when you start preparing. Earlier than that and I'd agree

I'll agree with 5 minutes. 10 minutes tops.

I'll even take 15 if I like the person.

Got a guy who shows up an hour or two early every day. I already don't like him, and it makes a day that much more frustrating when he's just "around" and not doing anything but being annoying at best, getting in the way at worst.

I really value my hour of alone time at work.

You don’t work in audio, do you? My previous assistant was that guy - haaaaaated him

Haha, naw, I open the kitchen at a restaurant. Reassuring though to know it's a relatable situation at other jobs.

I'm always about ten minutes early, but I always make it very clear that I know I'm early and don't mind waiting until they're ready.

Nope. Nope. Nope. I have a lot to do at all times - frequently in the middle of something until the last minute - and if you arrive 5+ minutes earlier I am going to be quite a bit more annoyed than if you show up an equal amount late.

You and I see it differently. 5 minutes early, you can sit and wait for me, and I expect that and you should as well. Showing up early doesn't equal entitlement to be seen early, it just means you are available for the time requested plus a little cushion.

Yeah but then I'd feel like a jerk for making you wait outside or w.e. for me to finish setting up. It's like the people that hold the door open when you're really far away, so I kinda gotta sprint to the door to not feel like a dick

Edit: Also, not all scheduled times are professional in nature. Those I'd say yes, 5 minutes early or on time at the latest. But if something throws a party, it's just strange to show up early

Sure, that's what often happens anyway, like "hey I have to finish x so just sit down and give me a moment". But it makes me feel bad as a host for neglecting guests (even if they came early so technically surprise visit). Like if I arrive somewhere 5 mins early I just go ahead and wait outside until the exact time.

Then ill stand outside and smoke a cigarette while you finish jerking your dick it the bathroom

I have a lot to do at all time

The fact that you're on Reddit, suggests this is a lie.

Thank you, random internet stranger, for this insightful analysis of my life. If you must know, I use reddit whenever I'm waiting for something that doesn't take too long (like traveling on a bus or compiling).

Fair enough, but I hate the self important "I'm always busy, and I never have free time" attitude that some people have. 99% of the time, it's not that you're "always busy", it's that you suck at scheduling and prioritizing. Very few people are actually that important, and the ones that are don't waste their time arguing with strangers on the internet.

Oh, we misunderstand each other. It's not that I'm so important that I spend all my waking moments doing something productive. I just consider spending free time as being "busy" too, and quite often I spend my free time on stuff that aren't the easiest to stop immediately (aforementioned painting, exercise, online games, board games, educational books, cooking etc.)

Yikes, imagine being annoyed by a person showing up 5 minutes early.

Sounds like your own problem then

You agreed on a time. Why would it be their problem that you disrespected it?

Being constantly busy is a problem? I don't see it that way. For example I might be painting and planning to end just so I have time to clean up before visitors come. If you show up early I'll still be in the process of cleaning up and won't be able to attend to you. Why such a close shave? Well I'm not going to spend 10-15 minutes sitting and staring at the wall while waiting for people to come (and most interesting activities can't be dropped in a few seconds). That would make it even worse if they happen to come late.

Thinking that when people show up early and you aren't ready is bad, is your problem. It isn't bad on your end. If anyone takes that badly, that is on them, not you.

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There is a big difference between saying "come after 7" and "7 is starting time".

Showing up 10 min before a social event is considered rude in many places. In fact even being 20 minutes 'late' is rude in some places.

It's all about the context...

30 minutes early means that you are helping me clean before other people get there.

30 min early and I think you're an idiot

But what if I am 30 min early because I took the bus and the next one would have been too late? Should I hide somewhere for 30 min? This happens to me way too often.

Yes, just kill 15 or so minutes at a cafe or walk around the block. Anything earlier than 15 is too early.

I do a lot of hiding.

Thankfully with smartphones, you can keep yourself occupied almost anywhere, and not look too out of place while doing it. (assuming you're not getting soaked in a rainstorm or something)

I'll get a coffee or something.

I was replying to the idea that more than 10 minutes is ideal. More than ten minutes is disrespectful, now I have to deal with you instead of whatever engagement I had at the time. If you plan a buffer, don't include me in it. Go to a cafe or something. Demonstrate your punctuality by being on time, not by wasting my time.

PLEASE DON'T COME TO MY PARTY EARLY.

But the baked food I brought needs to be reheated for at least 45 minutes to be edible...

Oh? Did you have plans for your own oven? lolol

I disagree. 5-10 minutes early is always respectful. I'm very busy, if I can start something a few minutes early because the person I'm waiting on is early that makes a huge difference to me. 30 min early and I think you're an idiot

Wow... More than a few minutes late and you're an asshole, more than a few early and you're an idiot... I guess people can't win without a high functioning brain and an atomic clock lol

You should go to my drug dealers house 10 mineuts before you said you were gonna pick up, and see what happens.

You should get better drug dealers.

I'm just trying to say maybe you shouldn't use the word "always" because it's not always better to be early

True, I see it as in a more professional manner. I wasn't thinking of dealers. Though maybe it's a difference in environments but I've never had an issue with that.

i disagree with this. if im having a party at 9 dont come til 945 earliest. just the way it is

I never even thought of this as in regards to a party. My recommendation is for professional life, not party life.

oh yeah then absolutely 5 minutes early is perfect

Then why don't you just say the party starts at 9:45?

because then nobody would come til 10:30

Lol i get what your saying but dont have party start until u are ready

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Party I do agree with. Work related, you're late and you've wasted my time waiting for you.

It's all relative depending on the profession and the culture you're dealing with. For a lot of cultures there is an unwritten expectation that a meeting time means 1/2 hour after what is agreed. For others, being early is whats expected. It is generally an asshole move to not follow the conventions of whatever group of people you're dealing with.

Agreed, I notice it a lot working with different countries even within the same company. When I meet with people from South America, I always specify that for all future meetings when I say 9, I expect attendance at 9. The first meeting most people role in at 9h30 to 9h45.

This is a documented phenomenon and the study of it falls under chronemics.

I had looked into this a while back for the very same reasons you noticed it, and came across a couple illuminating articles :

Time in Different Cultures is more of a general overview that goes into the sociological + economic underpinnings.

How Different Cultures Understand Time from Business Insider is more geared towards how this phenomenon impacts the conduction of business in regard to things like project deadlines etc. esp. in the context of multi-team coordination across different cultures or when dealing with foreign clients for instance.

Another interesting piece stems from a documentary I recently watched called Time Thieves (2018).

From the distributor's website:

TIME THIEVES is an eye-opening investigation into how our time became a currency; why 'time poverty' is on the rise and how the more we try to save time, the less we have. Who hasn’t come across the situation where an airline has us printing our own boarding passes and checking in our own luggage, saving the company a fortune in working hours? Who hasn’t spent hours assembling a piece of furniture, or struggled with an automatic cashier? Haven’t we all asked ourselves who should be paying whom for doing all the work? Award-winning director Cosima Dannoritzer blends remarkable archival footage and heart-breaking stories with testimonies from leading experts in a documentary that was filmed on location in Japan, USA, France, Spain, the Netherlands and Germany.

TIME THIEVES investigates how time has become money, how the clock has taken over both our working and personal lives.

I think 5-10 minutes is fine. Showing up earlier than that can be disrespectful. If I say come over at 3pm, don't show up at 2pm.

When I'm interviewing people for a job, I hate it when they're too early, because I feel stressed and rushed, but I can still make them wait if need be. If someone's late for an interview, that just fucks the rest of my schedule.

The real lesson here is that you can be as late or as early as you want and somebody will judge you for it.

Just arrive at the time that is expected based on the context and culture within which you are operating.

Yet another "Early is on time, on time is late," comment incoming in 3...2...1...

In what world is it disrespectful to show up 5-10 minutes early?

A party at someone’s house is a good example where showing up early is not appropriate.

Depends on how well you know the host. I personally don't mind close friends showing up early and helping out with last minute stuff, nor did any of my college friends.

But for most situations I'd agree, show up 15-30 minutes or so after the start.

I think people are being a bit loose with words, perhaps annoying would be the better term. The reasons it can be annoying are subjective but someone above stated it perfectly imo in that the person who shows up early all the time can be viewed as a nuisance

It's never disrespectful to be 5 minutes early. Even for an interview.

OP said greater than 10mins...

Showing up 20 mins early is almost always annoying. Work, party, anything 20 mins before is to much.

Sure 5mins before is reasonable, but thats not the point.

It's very telling to me that so many redditors hear that statement and think of how it applies to parties and drug deals before they think of how it applies to jobs, meetings, or other professional contexts.

Reddit commentors are all teenagers.

No more or less disrespectful than being 5 minutes late. It is 5 minutes of my time being wasted having to deal with you. 5 minutes is nothing though, I was replying to the suggestion to show up more than 10 minutes early.

I also specifically said interviews are one of the things to be a little early to.

Good luck showing up 5 minutes late to an interview, it would be effectively over before it even started.

With your reading comprehension skills I'm not sure how you'd ever land a job. You'd probably show up the wrong day at the wrong time to the wrong address for your interview.

Early is for a doctors appointment or an interview.

I thought I clarified it:

I also specifically said interviews are one of the things to be a little early to.

Let me clarify that even further. One of the things you should be early to is for a job interview.

Even then, nobody likes having a job applicant sitting around in their office half an hour early. Go get a damn coffee and then walk in 5-10 minutes max before scheduled.

You clearly replied to a comment using an interview as an example and proceeded to say that being early is just as disrespectful as being late. The fact that you clarified your point elsewhere on the thread is besides the point.

What you clearly fail to understand is that you can show up early while not annoying your host. If you're too early just take a stroll and kill time, you don't have to sit there and be an annoyance (like everyone in this thread is imagining). Showing up late to anything in a professional setting is disrespectful (in the US).

Good luck showing up 5 minutes late to an interview, it would be effectively over before it even started.

You wrote this in reply to a comment in which I said:

I also specifically said interviews are one of the things to be a little early to.

What you clearly fail to understand is how to read and understand what is being said.

Also, showing up early without the host actually knowing is obviously okay. Nobody is refuting that. You're out of your element, Donnie!

Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man

Sorry, I misread the least part. You don't have to "deal with me" if I'm at work 5 minutes early to do my job. You might have to have someone cover for me if I'm 5 minutes late, depending on what my job is. 5 minutes early or late to a dinner party? Who cares. Outside your house 5 minutes early when I'm giving you a ride? Best case scenario is I'm there early too and we leave 5 minutes earlier than expected. Worse case is you wait for 5 minutes.

When would it be an annoyance to show up 5 minutes early?

Again, read before you reply. 5 minutes is nothing. I was replying about more than 10 minutes, you're the one that keeps bringing up 5 minutes.

Thank you! Drives me crazy when people show up early to my house.

I am in charge of a few subcontractors for my job. We have meetings where we review and coordinate things coming down the pipeline. This meeting occurs pretty much right after my lunch, which is after morning of being thrown around left and right. I of course take time before the meeting to get prepared. I usually finish 5 mins before start.

It would bother the fuck of out me if they all started showing up 15 mins early. There's enough whining/complaining/and issues to address brought up suring and after the meeting. I need that 15 mins to be away from their their shit, so I can handle mine.

I think being late can be ideal. I’ve always been extremely punctual and was rushing the family out the door to things growing up. Until college where I found for parties that no one else is on time and the hosts don’t expect you, and aren’t ready themselves. This continued after college. So for all social gatherings ever since I’m intentionally 15 minutes late as a courtesy, unless it’s a single person or time is critical.

How is being somewhere three minutes early disrespectful?

I wasn't aware that 3>10.

That depends ENTIRELY on what you are showing up for. Ten minutes early to meet someone at a coffee shop, great idea. To be at someone's doorstep 6:50 if you were asked to come at 7, seriously fuck that.

I get that being on time is better than being late, but how is early better than on time?

Depends on what kind of clock people are using.

Nowadays both parties are likely to use a computer/smartphone, so they see the exact same time.

But back in the day, the "objective" time might be 20:03, while your watch shows 20:00 and my watch shows 20:05. If we have a meeting at 20:00, and you show up exactly "on time", I think you're 5 minutes late.

Being a bit early makes sure you are on time, according to the other guy's clock.

(edit: culture and situation dependent of course. Showing up at someones house: a bit too late is better than a bit too early. Job interview: a bit too early is better. )

Back in the day you could call a number to set your watch at the right time.

Don’t show up too early though. It can be as bad as being late. For example what is someone just has to hit the head right before you show up and you are knocking on the door while they are on the can. Now your rushing them just to be early. 3 minutes or less seems to be the magic time.

Completely disagree. Sure, 3-5 minutes is generally okay, but GREATER than 10 minutes? Absolutely not. That’s equally as rude as being 10+ minutes late.

Except when it's a tradesperson showing up while I am still in the shower

Drive around the block, kill 10 min that way, don't arrive at my door at 8:20 am when it's supposed to be 8:30 am

Well... that doesn't go over well in some cultures. In my culture, for example, it's rude to show up early for anything other than interviews, really. I will rarely be late (unlike many from my country), but I run right on time, so when people show up early for something, it stresses me out because I'm preparing things for the time discussed, not 10 minutes before, so my attention now has to be divided, and I'll probably end up being late because of it. Then again, it's really just about knowing your context.

Nah its best to show up exactly on time. No time wasted standing around, and no one else's time wasted waiting on you.

Not always the easiest thing but once you get a knack for how long it takes to do something go somewhere I find it's not all that difficult

Only for work things though. I find it extremely rude if I say to come over to my house at 7 and you show up at 6:50. I might be in the bathroom, or running a last minute errand, etc. I said 7 for reason. "Fashionably late" is a real thing when you're talking social events.

The phrase "7:30 for 8" is used for this reason when planning a dinner party. It means you can show up as early as 7:30, not before, but dinner will be served at 8. Fashionably late would be 7:55 or 58. Unacceptably late would be anytime after 8. Honestly I'd like for that practice to enter the work culture, depending on what you do of course. Say work begins at 7:30 with a morning meeting at 8. So long as you are at the meeting on time, prepared, and get your full work day in it really isn't worth fretting over a few minutes. There are of course some jobs which require strict timetables and this wouldn't work in those cases.

I did not know that. I wholeheartedly agree. Not knocking anyone who's flawlessly punctual but humans really don't operate that way, and we should be a little more flexible in situations where time allows.

Like, how much productivity is lost when all the office narcs start clock watching and gossiping about how someone is a few minutes late?

Be on time, but not early - hate to have to stop what I am doing 10 mins before I was planning, or seem rude.

Show up early and spend your entire life waiting on other people.

Keep showing up late and no one is going to invite you in the first place.

I don't my friends and your friends would hang out.

This is why my group has a healthy balance of such personalities:

-Krina will always show up early. Used to it from having to be in multiple places in a short span during college, and it being easier to go early and wait. She's never bothered and does not hassle people to show up 15 mins earlier because she is early. If it's dinner, she always picks the table
- Brian is also typically early. Not extremely. Just a hit earlier than when people arrive. He is the guy that makes sure things are good and if it's a trip or hangout, runsout to get whatever .
- Brooks is always late. Not awfully so, anymore, but he's going to use that 15 mins window.
- Carter is always a toss up. He knows the plans and you can count on him showing up if he says he will. But it's never in the first hour lol.
- Billy, Q, Shar, and I are normal. On time or +/- 5 mins of the window.

Does it get annoying at times dealing with Carter's iffyness? Yes. Would you love it if Brooks was there at the start? Yes. But you can work those things and I love my friends enough to see past that.

The exception to this is a party in someone's home. If you show up early they may still be running around doing last minute things and not ready to entertain, so I was always told to show up on time unless you clear it beforehand. But if they are close you can always ask them if they want you to show up a few minutes early to help with the last minute stuff.

Definitely depends on the job. I've been at some jobs where showing up extra early (>5 min or so) made people think that you don't treat your own time as valuable or so-and-so must have an easy job because they have all the time in the world to shoot the shit ten minutes before a meeting.

And personally, I hate the jobs that make showing up early "the new on time". My time is valuable and wasting an extra 10 minutes on meetings means one less task done. Start time should be start time should be start time, don't expect me there sooner. Thankfully my current job has a standing initiative for all managers to minimize time spent in meetings.

You remember that poster that teachers had on their walls that's now engraved into your skulls? ... "if you're early, you're on time; if you're on time, you're late; if you're late, you're missing out."

If you show up too early, people may think you have nothing else to do.

And make you really despise people who are always 15 minutes late.

I believe it depends on what are you about to do.

Are you showing up for something that takes 20 minutes? 10+ minutes might not be fine, you might be blocking the person before you. For example tire change that takes 20 minutes and now the person before you can't get out easily.

Are you showing up for something that takes 6 hours? 30m early can actually be nice for all parties (if the other person can start earlier)..

What was that great Reddit quote?

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second rat gets the cheese?"

I feel I should mention that sometimes being early is more rude than being late, however.

If you're here to meet me at 13:45 for a meeting at 14:00, I'm going to assume you're overly eager. I'm also going to assume you're not usually punctual so had to arrive early to compensate.

In my experience, showing up more than 10 minutes early is a negative. It forces people to deal with you and forgo what they are working on. One of my mentors told me this a few years ago and I've taken it to heart. I've noticed when I have a meeting with someone, and they're too early, it irritates me because I have deadlines and I want to maximize my time. Of course, if you're boss prefers it otherwise, then do that.

What's the actual benefit? As far as I can see it, I'm doing ten to fifteen minutes of extra unpaid work every day... for what?

That's nice and all, but at my current workplace I literally couldn't give less of a shit. If they're going to underpay me for my job position then they're not getting another second of my time that I'm not on the clock for.

I'm a habitual early arriver. I do it for myself more than for anyone else. As a result, though, bosses have always seen me as reliable, to the point where on the rare occasion I'm late, they're concerned rather than mad. I once overslept really badly, and when I called in to apologize, my manager actually said, "Oh, thank God you're okay."

and stand at the punch clock for at least 10 minutes because you aren't allowed to get overtime?

I work in an outpatient clinic. On time is good. 10 minutes early is good. 30 minutes to an hour early and I have to talk my coworkers down from going after your kneecaps.

And when something seriously does cause you to be late people are much more understanding and are more likely to believe you.

And start and stop things on time. I hate when my boss schedules a meeting outside of normal work hours (yes I still get paid) and says it’ll be 5pm - 6pm but we end up going till 8pm because he needs to share totally not work relevant stuff for 45 minutes beforehand.

Or when we schedule an event and put the time as “10am - 1pm” knowing full well and having done the event multiple times in the past that it’ll absolutely go until at least 2.

Or when I’m taking a class (I teach karate so at night I take classes too) that’s scheduled from 7:15 - 8:15 but the person leading the class ends it at 8:45. Yea it’s nice getting extra instruction but I plan my day and my time according to the timeframes I’m given.

Show up ON TIME, not super early. People have schedules and plans. It is not impressive to show up hours earlier than scheduled. I'm a hiring manager and we hate when people do this. It annoys us and gives us a negative impression of you. Yet, people still do it all the time thinking it shows initiative.

I used to be this person. Then I met my future wife. When we first started dating I would show up whenever. So she basically would tell me that if I was late to an outing with her- no date. Because it shows you don’t value someone’s time. That whole lesson really taught me that people’s time needs to be respected, regardless of what you have going on in your personal life.

(She was way out of my league and I was still surprised she even wanted to date me, so my mindset changed real quick.)

To add to this, if you're 15 minutes away, don't say "i'm 5 minutes away" if you know damn well it's not 15 minutes or if it's 5 minutes if you catch every single green light and not a single thing interrupts your sprint to where you're going.

I'd rather you tell me 15 and it take 10 or 15, than you say 5 and it take 10 or 15. So not only are you late, you're a goddamn liar.

Early is on time. On time is late.

I agree for certain events. If you’re going to someone’s house or something for an event, than you should just be on time. They use that time for setting up.

This comment should be higher. If I tell a group of people to come over for 7 then please do not come at 630. I am usually finished food prep and getting my kitchen somewhat good again right before everyone shows up.

I think the tip was more for formal appointments but for social gatherings early is not on time

Yeah i had a friend at one point who would always show up like an hour early to parties, and it got to the point where id message her like the day before to say “ok, remember to show up about an hour late, ok?” And she never would. Id have to answer the door with a towel on and the house still a mess, and shed often bring people. I know 90% of the time showing up early to stuff is considered polite, but in some cases it can actually be quite rude.

At my old job we had someone show up an hour early to an interview. That did nothing but annoy the people who were going to interview her because they felt like they had to rearrange their schedules. 10 minutes early is generally perfect (except for parties, a few minutes late is often good).

You also shouldn't show up early if you are a worker coming to someone's house to do a job. A guy was supposed to come to my apartment to fix something at 11, which is when I was leaving for work so I told my landlord I wouldn't be home. He shows up at 1030, does a quiet knock and then went to get the key. If it had been a couple minutes later, he would have walked in on me in the shower. I was super pissed and asked him what he was doing since he was supposed to come at 11. "Oh my other job finished early so I just headed over after." NOT ACCEPTABLE. Call and get permission if you want to come over early.

Definitely agree, my father works in home repairing/remodeling and he’s purposefully 5-10 minutes late when people tell him they aren’t gonna be home just so he knows they’re out of the house. People like to use all of their time in their own house, others need to let them.

Late is dead. Marching band taught me important lessons.

Send help, I'm pretty consistently 30 minutes early to everything and have to put in a conscious effort to actually show up later at a slightly more reasonable time.

Edit: I managed to trigger everyone's band PTSD. I'm having a great laugh knowing I'm not the only one who's chronically early to everything, though

we may never meet

Fucking same. It's a gift because I'm almost never late unless there is an emergency, but also a curse because I don't know what to do when I arrive so early to everything

Doesn’t matter the place or setting, whip out your phone and browse r/space, or whatever floats your boat. I know I sometimes get so lost in r/futurology, thinking about the future of our world that I’m shocked when whoever I’m meeting pops up in front of me. Get that curiosity going you won’t be disappointed

That's how I am! I even set at alarm to "leave at this time" and try not to think about it but I always end up staring at the clock and leaving early anyway.

Fucking band. This is drilled into my head.

We must have had different marching band experiences, lmao. I learned very quickly that without someone playing snare drum the band would fall apart, so I would routinely show up to football games at the last possible moment, while everyone was already in formation. Good times

Oh man, my old director would pop a blood vessel if our drum line did that.

If the bus left at 7:30, call time would be 6:30, which means be there by 6, 5 if you're in drum line/pit. Though, the clarinet section would always roll up at 7:15 and wonder why nobody in the band liked them.

Good times

I was five minutes late to a practice once, and the director had the entire band stand motionless in formation on the field until I arrived. When I got to my position, he announced over the football field's PA system "Thank you for joining us NomisTheNinth. Let's begin."

This has only worked for me for bands in general. Class starts at 6:30 means butt in chair, warm ups completed, ready to tune.

Other stuff? Slide in just the right side of on time.

I feel this in my bones...thanks 615am marching band and a season of drum corps. Oof.

Wait yesss my sisters did marching band and always talked about this rule. Must be a thing

I feel your pain. I can't make myself be late to anything. Being late really stresses me out.

I'm suddenly having flashbacks to marching band. When they say to be there by 5:30 a.m. they mean be there by 4:30 a.m.

Same here man, and I ever do happen to be late I feel so bad.

That I judge people who are late all the time, like how can you consistently show up late to something, when that something is at the same time everyday??

Same. Arrive 30-45 minutes early, spend 15-30 in my car until it’s an acceptable amount of time early to enter somewhere.

... I do this consistently with everything. Even work. My boss has learned that if there’s a rush and he needs me a few minutes early, just pop his head outside and look for my car.

I like to use the waiting time for Reddit

I struggle with the early disease as well. My only issue is that my morning classes don’t get the same treatment. It’s truly a struggle

If you need help then I need an intervention. I consistently show up at least an hour early. I think it's partly due to my social anxiety. I want to scout out wherever I'm going ahead of time and find how to have the least interaction with people.

It gets a bit awkward when the place I'm going isn't open yet and I have to try to find a place to wait. I've learned to bring things with me to do while I wait though like a book or podcast. Doesn't happen too much anymore since I rarely go out. Still happens at work but only because I want to miss rush hour to and from.

Yeah, same here. I usually park at a gas station close by to avoid appearing crazy. Punctuality is important

I was never late once in four years of college marching band. You had to run a track lap for every minute you were late, and as I was terrible at running, I did everything I could to avoid it. It capped out at 69 laps if you missed completely without a legitimate reason.

Omg yes I can still hear my marching band instructor shouting "early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable!" Being a chronically early person with a chronically late mother in high school was a bitch haha.

I had a professor who didn’t want to see us showing up for class 5-10 minutes early because that wasn’t an efficient use of time. There are a lot of things you could do in that period of time and you’re wasting it by sitting in a classroom waiting for class.

Edit: his policy was a transition from his private sector experience. There the policy stood because most meetings were right down the hall from your workstation. My campus was small too, so that five minutes could be spent in the computer lab doing homework or studying. The purpose was to practice good time management.

That’s weird though, there are a lot of things you can do while sitting in a classroom waiting for class (even if this was before the cell phone era): read a book, outline a paper, do any other sort of productive homework...

Five minutes? What? You're on a university campus, what is he expecting you to do? Catch up on emails, review material for your last class or the upcoming class, organize your papers...the most productive things I can think of can best be accomplished in a classroom. Unless he meant do five minutes of burpees or something.

That’s kinda crazy though. Showing up early to class is part of my workflow— I flip through notes from last class, skim the reading to refresh, and get in the mindset of the class.

And your brain needs breaks to work optimally.

Unless its an invite to a gathering at someones house. sure 5 minutes early is fine, but 10-15+? I can't remember the last time I was hosting something where I wasn't scrambling at the last minute to get things ready.

I've done a few studies and on time is still in fact on time within a margin of a few seconds before and after the minute. Interestingly in the study subjects on average felt as if being up to two minutes early all the way to one minute late still fit in the realm of on time. The longest stretch after the mark still regarded as on time was 5 minutes and the same period of time for before the mark. Anything before that five and people mentioned the phenomenon of early and said nothing about that also being on time. Some subjects were pissed that their schedule was not respected when someone was above 7 minutes early.

This is a good personal mantra but for an employer to think this of their employees is asinine. You get paid to be there from 9-5 or whatever. You shouldn't be expecting your employees to give you extra time, or even docking them for failing to do this.(My friends last review for a desk job docked her because she doesn't show up 10 minutes early. She was never late, always walked in a few minutes early, just not early enough.)

You should get extra points for putting in more effort than your contract states, not docked for "putting in the bare minimum" for doing what you were hired to do.

If I’m busy and a friend shows up early I get annoyed. Now i have to worry about keeping them company while I have business to take care of

If you're coming to visit me, early is annoying moreso than late.

I hate when you’re on time and someone says this to you. Like if you wanted me 15 minutes earlier you should have set the time 15 minutes earlier.

That's a punchable offense lol

On time is on time. The reverse is true too. I'm not respecting your time by being late, but you're not respecting mine by expecting me to take more time out of my day to accommodate your flawed concept of 'being on time'.

Sounds like some solid capitalist bullshit to me

Are you that guy who shows up 6.30 to a 7.00 party, stressing out the host?

I'm sorry but no)

I fucking hate this mentality, my parents do it all the time. If we agree to meet somewhere at X hour, they will be there at least 30 min early and get mad at me when I arrive exactly at X hour. And it's not just them, a lot of people in their 60s have this bad habit. Just had it happen this morning, I met a realtor for viewing a house and he was mad for waiting for me for 40 minutes, when I actually got there 2 minutes early, wtf...

rest of the thread had parts about respect and I'mma suggest that someone who says that shit to you, when you arrive at the agreed-upon time - that person does not respect you. That shit is an extra demand because they don't value what other things you might have planned. They want more of your time than you agreed to give them

but not for parties in Miami - early is bad manners

I don't understand that. If you want people somewhere at 6:50, why not say 6:50 instead of saying 7:00 then expecting them to show up ten minutes early?

If you tell people to show up at 7 to a party its usually because you want people to start trickling in around 7:15-7:30 and theres a gradual increase of people. Nobody ever wants a large group of people to show up to their house earlier than the arranged time, believe me. I used to throw house parties a lot back in the day and because i was onviting people from all over london i knew if i set the time for 7 realistically everyone would have arrived by 9. I had one friend who would always show up 30/60 min early and i found it so rude, id even message her beforehand to make sure she wouldnt do it and she still did, often with friends. So now id have to worry about getting myself and the house ready while also having people to entertain.

I wouldn't know about that. I don't throw parties and I don't get invited to them

Not to sound rude but maybe cause youre early to everything :P

Not to sound rude but maybe cause youre early to everything :P

You mean the guy who just wrote:

I don't understand that. If you want people somewhere at 6:50, why not say 6:50 instead of saying 7:00 then expecting them to show up ten minutes early?

?

Idk i was tired when i wrote that lol maybe i read it wrong

If I tell someone to show up at 7 then I’ll be there at 6:50 (or if it’s at my house be ready at 6:50). That time can be for relaxing if they’re on time and if they’re early no issue!

No, on time is on time. Early is equally as annoying as late.

Early = On time. On time = Late. Early = Late ?? 😁

Screw that. I work for a family run business and if i were to get to work 5 minutes ealier than i needed to everyday, thats almost 30 hours of my life wasted over the course of the year.

Not gonna do that just to be early for the sake of being early

My Youth Ambassador group leader drilled this exact saying into our heads, with the addition of “Late is unacceptable.”

late is unacceptable . Blacklist much?

nods approvingly in German

Random story you may or may not enjoy:

When my husband was a teenager he was on a plane in central Europe and an old lady sitting next to him asked him where he was from. He said America but she kept quizzing him about his origins until he admitted his great grandparents were German.

She scoffed "you're not German!" And stopped talking to him. Sometime later the pilot announced the local time and she noticed my husband fiddling with his watch.

She asked what he was doing and he said "Fixing my watch, it's 3 minutes off."

"Ah," she said, "I guess you are German."

Me too. Showing up on time / early has become a bit of a compulsion.

I've had people get irritated that I was slightly early. Not half an hour or even fifteen minutes. I was like five minutes early.

It's rude if you are showing up to someone's house early. Do you think they are just sitting there staring at the wall waiting for you? They expect you at the agreed upon time or later, not earlier. They are probably busy with their own life and trying to do as much as they can in that time before you arrive. You showing up early just messes up their plans.

These were appointments in office buildings with waiting rooms, not dinner parties. One guy seemed very irritated and scoffed, "You're here too early." I looked around and saw they had a sofa and TV and coffee maker in the lobby. What the hell are these things for, if not for waiting clients?

I was within five minutes of the appointment.

German here, being late is a dead sin

Unless you live in South America

The thing you have to realize about "on time people", as a "late person".. is that.. we hate you! - (paraphrased) Mike Birbiglia

I’ve noticed this is a very western thing and is not practiced everywhere in the world. Being on time isn’t as big of a deal to them ( I don’t agree) but it’s interesting that it varies across cultures

honestly it varies within western culture as well.

My partner is always late to everything. I, on the other hand, am a very punctual person. I loathe being late and it embarrasses me endlessly. It's disrespectful, simple as that.

I have resorted to telling him an event starts earlier than it actually does sometimes, but if I do that too often, he relies on me giving him the wrong time. I also have to vary the times a bit - sometimes I make it half an hour earlier, sometimes just 10 minutes. And sometimes I just leave without him, but that only works if it isn't something we go to by car, since I only drive myself when life is at stake, so to say. He knows that of course.

As an extra annoyance, people who don't know us well enough to be aware that he is the reason we are too late will automatically assume that it was me, because "women always take too much time to get ready". It couldn't be farther from the truth - I've been ready to go, shoes on, jacket on, got my bag, standing in the hallway waiting for him while he is doing anything but getting ready - a lot of the times he just sits there and still browses reddit, actually. I could flip out when that happens, but this only makes things worse.

I've tried reasoning with im, talking with im, begging him to be on time, nothing helps. I've given up.

I always tell my fiancée we need to leave 10 minutes before we actually do. Not because she won’t be ready by the correct time but because “ready to go” to her is walking out of the house, forgetting 2-3 things and needing that extra time to find whatever it is she forgot.

Doesn't work with him. He will reply with an annoyed "ye-hes!!!" and continue browsing.

Leave him home. I’m the partner in the relationship who is always late, but it’s a bad combo of ADD and OCD. If I were a dick to my partner by being annoyed when he asks to make sure we’re on time, I’d expect him to leave on time and leave me there. We actually work together, and if I have made us late, I will always text our supervisor and own it. Even though in a relationship, individuals need to take responsibility for their own actions instead of being a “united front” - it’s REALLY bothersome that he lets people make the assumption that it’s you - the woman - who is taking too long to get ready.

He'd never inform people we'll be late or even apologizes. This just doesn't cross his mind. It seems he simply does not understand how rude it is. We once had a huge fallout with a business partner over it who yelled at him at the top of his lungs with a head so red I was worried he might have a heart attack - one would think that this experience made my partner finally learn that being late is rude, but no. I'm really wondering where this personality trait comes from, certainly not his parents, since they are usually too early.

He's a wonderful guy and I love him to bits, but his lateness and the IDGAF attitude about it drives me mad sometimes.

How to get more sleep though

I think there is big difference between meeting up with someone doing what they would be doing anyways versus someone specifically waiting around for you to show up.

I have a friend who is chronically late, being 30 mins late to grab my toolkit when I'm already home is not such a big deal but waiting 30 mins at a location we are meeting at for a specific purpose is excruciating.

I am honestly so bad about this and I’m not sure how to fix it..... I wake up 15 minutes earlier and I lose track and get there late, I leave my house 20 minutes earlier than usual and I hit traffic, I’m out the door 10 minutes earlier and my cat escapes the house behind me and I’m late. I feel like I’m irresponsible with time and I genuinely don’t have a grasp on how long it takes to drive somewhere, if you have any tips to stop being chronically 10 minutes behind, I would appreciate them greatly

First, give yourself a ridiculous amount of time to get ready. Like way too much. That isn’t enough because like you said you’ll either lose track or get distracted or wait til the last minute to get ready. So the second part of that is to make it a goal to be somewhere else near where you need to be, an hour early. Even if that’s stupid early in the morning, just make a plan for it, say, you’ll go to the coffee shop an hour before the appointment, or you’ll just sit in your car and catch up on some emails or reddit for an hour. So now you should have plenty of time to get ready and even if you’re late, you’re only late to your own pre-appointment.

There's no trick to it, there's no secret. Know how long things take, get the things done in that time, plan in some slack. That's it.

It's important to be honest about the first point. For example: If you managed to shower and get dressed in five minutes that one time, that is NOT your baseline. A normal day is, one where you maybe take a minute to decide which shirt you're gonna wear. Time yourself doing routine tasks if necessary, get an average of how long they take and what the pace of doing things is to get that time.
Google Maps is very accurate for travel time. It also allows you to set a time and date for the estimate (e.g. how long does this drive take on a Friday afternoon), and if you select "Arrive by" will explicitly tell you when you need to leave. Remember that "leave" here means the moment you start driving.
And just like you shouldn't hope for a best-case scenario on how long something takes, allow time for stuff going wrong. How much time depends on how long the thing takes and what it is obviously (more for a three-hour drive than a 30-minute commute, for example), and it's ultimately a matter of experience. But having some extra time in your schedule is good for peace of mind as well as punctuality. It might mean you're ten minutes early sometimes – but that's also hit ten minutes of delay you could hit somewhere and still be one time.

All that takes effort of course, of course. And it's worth it.

To be fair, some if that stuff could be a little trickier for people with certain conditions, like ADHD.

But you gave actionable tips without a bunch of condescension, so +1.

lots more to this than the comments suggest. ADD/ADHD poor time management skills etc. it’s not all rooted in lack of respect for other people’s time.

Yeah, like does everyone think I WANT to be the asshole that’s 10 minutes late to work every day (office job where nothing happens from 9-9:10am, not an excuse, just a fact)?

I have this mental block where if I wake up early, I stare at my phone depressed until I’m late. If I wake up on time, I snooze until I’m late. When I wake up late, I’m rushing to make up time and boom, rolling in at 9:10.

I literally don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I literally don’t know what’s wrong with me.

He just told you.

ADD/ADHD poor time management skills etc.

I’m so sick of threads like this. Some people have legitimate “time blindness”!

C’mon that’s such a lame excuse!!!!! /s

not really an excuse just some people’s reality. i think the majority of people don’t wake up like “fuck being on time today i’m gonna be late because i have no respect for any body’s time but my own!”

It’s my reality too. It was sarcasm, that’s why I added the “/s” behind

my bad lol i’m dumb. now i know what that /s means. haha thanks.

Damn, I thought that was kinda universal knowledge at this point.

FYI it comes from html tags.

HTML code uses tags to do things. Say I want to make some text bold.

On Reddit I would just wrap the text in a couple of these "*" on either side.

In HTML, you would use bold tags, like this:

[B] Bold text goes here [/B]

First an "opening" tag which indicates "bold begins here" and then a closing tag, with the slash, indicating the end of the bold text.

So basically the "sarcasm tag" is like saying "sarcastic text ends here."

if i had gold it’d be yours. thanks for the knowledge friend!

Poor time management is no excuse. If that is your reason, then it is just disrespectful. I also know plenty of people with disabilities who are never late because they know their disability adds time and they plan accordingly.

I'm just not sure you can convince me that being chronically late is ever okay. If it's a constant thing then there should be a pattern to recognize and tackle.

Though usually, I don't care as long as you say you're late. But if you show up 10 minutes late without saying anything I'm tempted to leave.

I always try to be on time.

Doctors appointment at 10:00? I'll be there at 9:55.

Meeting with friends at 16:00 to catch a movie. I'm there 15:50

Taking the train or bus, I'll be there 10 minutes before it departs.

Job interview? Going with public transit? I'll be 10-20 min early, but only because I need those 10 minutes to catch my breath, calm down and stop sweating (I'm not overweight, my body just is an idiot and sweats with minimal activity)

On the flip side of all of this; When I'm late, I am LATE. Not 5 minutes, not 10 minutes. No 30-60 minutes.

There are lines to this. It’s been studied to find that chronically late people are people who are optimistic about how quickly they can complete a task. Personally, I find that being routinely early to make sure I’m never late for someone shows I disrespect for my own time and it is impossible to respect someone else if you don’t respect yourself. That said there are lines to this.

1) don’t flake ever

2) don’t be tragically late (more than 10 minutes) and if you are apologize appropriately, because that is disrespectful.

3) communicate if you’re running late

Growing up and as a young mom I was always late... then read about how it is about respecting others time, also opening a business that required strict appointment times for clients. 100% changed my perspective. Now I am always on time if not early.

I am a musician. I can’t tell you how many times I got the gig over more talented musicians because I was on time and prepared.....

Time management in general. It's one thing to show up on time. It's another thing to not be hurrying everything cause you don't know when to leave, stop, start, or turn.

I have a friend who is ALWAYS late. At least for get togethers with friends. She manages to be on time for work and doctor's appointments and the like so she possesses the ability to manage time, she just chooses not to apparently. She would always claim that she was "so busy" as if I (and other people) are not. Or "something came up". It always comes up! Things always come up, plan ahead! I called her on it and she said that it was because she was anxious. So if she showed up on time and the person she was meeting wasn't there she would get anxious that they weren't coming or that something had happened. I explained that literally everyone thinks that when they show up and the other person isn't there. I never sit there thinking "oh I guess so and so is just running late and couldn't be bothered to use that little phone they have on them at all times to contact me!" I always assume they are dead in a ditch or they secretly hate me and they are ghosting me! How does it make sense to deliberately, definitely inflict that worry and bother on me (or anyone else) so that she can spare herself the slightest possibility of having to experience it? I am never late so if she showed up on time she wouldn't be left hanging but even if something weird happened and I was late how is her sitting there worrying worse than me sitting there worrying? It isn't! And yet she still did it every time. I took that horrible worrying feeling to mean that I should do what I can to make sure I am not making other people feel that way but she took it as license to pass it on to other people.

Man if only some of the people hiring for.jobs Round here would do this. I've been looking for good steady work for 3 months since I was laid off. Showed up for an interview at 8:50 that was for 9am. Waited for 30 minutes just for no one to show up. Called the number they called me from, no answer, not even a voicemail. Waste of time.

What field are you in?

Currently accounting but it's not my passion. I'm learning video editing on the side and also trying out twitch streaming, but without steady income, I can't focus on any of that to much.

This is one thing that bothers me so much about my best friend. He just has no respect for other people's time. He's frequently 30 minutes to an hour late for meet ups. Sometimes he straight doesn't show up and we just get a text 6 hours later that he decided to do something else and forgot to message us. Like, holy shit, it takes 5 seconds to tell people you're not going to come, don't make them just sit around wondering.

This, cant count the amount of times i plan something and the people who show up early or on time makes a huge difference. Shows me how much they value my time and shows they are also competent

But the more respect and credibility I have, the more people will look to me as someone to trust, rely on, or even emulate, god forbid. See, if people are always getting the signal that I'm an untrustworthy fuckup, then they will stop trusting me with things to fuck up.

Not of you're southern European

I got in a fight recently about this. I argued this exact point with a great emphasis on having respect for whoever I was meeting. I was met with “other people are shitty, so I get to be shitty.” Never have I lost respect for another human faster than that comment.

unless you're going to the doctor where a 1pm appointment means "we'll see you whenever the f we want, but you're guaranteed to wait at least an hour"

But if you’re late, they will charge you a fee and/or cancel the appointment, EVEN IF THEY WERENT GOING TO GET TO YOU ON THE LIST FOR ANOTHER HOUR.

That shit is out of CONTROLLLL

I want to upvote this but it's at 666 and I don't want to upset Satan

This is something I've needed to improve for years. I don't know why it's so hard for me to just get ready and go somewhere.

See a doctor. Time mismanagement is a common effect with conditions such as depression.

Bonus points if you go pick the other person up.

Even more bonus points if you wake her up serve breakfast on the bed.

Nowadays, I just tell the person to meet 10 minutes earlier of what I originally planned to meet up so we can actually arrive at the same time instead of me waiting for them to arrive late.

I resorted to doing this with an old SO after a million and one "why don't you respect other people's TIME???" fights that resulted in no improvement, and it was such a pain to have to plan in advance to "trick" him into believing our movie started earlier than it did, or that our reservations were earlier than they were. It meant that I had to halfway lie to him just to avoid the constant stress of being late to every event we attended together, when I am strictly a "ten minutes early or I'm late" type of person, in addition to having to make sure I was the one to handle the rez, or the ticket buying, etc etc. After a while I realized it felt like I was his mom, not just in that respect, but in many others, and I got the fuck out of that one.

I needed this, I'm currently 30 minutes late for my (2hr long) second lecture (missed the first one) waiting for the train.

Tomorrow I'll be on time, probably

I always show up early; I have a panic attack if I’m running on time, and it’s worse if I’m running late. And my husband is chronically late, so when we go somewhere together, it’s a baaaad scene.

What do you think of what I posted a couple of months ago about the same topic? Do you have any advice? https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/afdwye/what_toxic_behavior_has_been_normalized_by_society/edyvl80?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

I am terrible at being "on time" to things so I specifically got a job where I can make it work. Most of my job is working with technicians who are at job sites at all hours and typically work later than my office hours (8-5) and don't get started until close to lunch time for my time zone. So I work a couple hours "late" every evening and usually put time in on weekends and don't go into my office until 9-9:30 most days. Most of my managers have been fastidious about butt-in-seat time and get upset about this but then I confine my work time to office for a while until jobs go off the rails, then switch back to what works.

I recently stopped communicating with a friend because they blew up at me for being 30 min late. This is a person who was always consistently late to most things and would take forever to get ready. There were times when I'd be waiting in my car outside their house for like 10+ minutes after I had already given a heads up I was on my way. The fucking audacity of this person to get mad at me for being late one time was just too much for me. I definitely don't appreciate having to wait but i put up with it because what else am i gonna do. But I couldn't even get the same courtesy back.

Great Response! Today was my first day of training for a new job. Two other people were supposed to be here, two of us were on time.

The other guy hadn't shown up within the first five minutes. The new boss flat out told the new supervisor to tell late guy it wasn't going to work.

Being punctual goes a long way. In addition to respecting other people's time, it shows you have your life generally in order and aren't trying to do too much, especially in the workplace.

Being late is one of the most disrespectful things people do while having no idea that they are being disrespectful. You are basically saying “your time is not important”

I see you've never been to southern Europe.

I work with a neck beard IT guy who has no filter or social awareness. He has been told to shut up multiple times and he didn’t understand why, and “well, actually” when other people are talking about something near him. But the funniest/cringey thing I have heard him say was that he hates being late because it’s very disrespectful to other people.

He's right, you know.

Compliment people behind their backs. It seriously reduces the drama you have to deal with in your day to day life. Especially do it to co-workers.

I'm just getting into a new job which had a lot more drama than I anticipated.

I'm gonna try this and see how everything goes, thanks!

If nothing else, in my experience, the drama ends up happening around you and people don’t drag you into it.

A group of people could all be gossiping, especially about your department and they’ll be all “but not gunnie56, they’re too nice for that nonsense.”

I learned this trick from probably the meanest nastiest human I’d ever worked with, she was the worst and the catalyst for a lot of the office problems. However, she was nice “in public” and very select about who saw her real side.

Yes, very important skill! Anytime I get looped into mean gossip about someone I already either play dumb and pretend I don't know what someone is talking about (if they're trying to bait me into shit talking) OR I listen empathetically to someone's complaint about a coworker and then say something like, "oh, that sounds difficult but you know I think so-and-so is dealing with these various work stresses and that can't be easy." OR "oh, that hasn't been my experience with them, I find they are insert nice-thing."

I have been in too many negative work spaces and had too many people stab me in the back. I'm not saying anything negative on record unless there is actual abuse going on.

listen empathetically to someone's complaint about a coworker and then say something like, "oh, that sounds difficult but you know I think so-and-so is dealing with these various work stresses and that can't be easy." OR "oh, that hasn't been my experience with them, I find they are insert nice-thing."

This is a super power. It makes someone incredibly likable because people trust you to be fair. It’s actually really confrontational but if you can do it in a gentle way people will respect you even more. You cement yourself as a person who doesn’t participate in gossip, an empathetic & thoughtful person, and a person who isn’t afraid of confrontation.

Responding to life this way has removed 99% of the drama and bullshit from my life. My friends are closer, kinder, and more honest. The support from my friends has given me confidence in myself and I started going after bigger goals. & I rarely encounter someone I feel like I can’t be friends with. Even bigger plus is when I’m pissed at someone my friends are willing to listen and give me validation or confront my view point.

They think your their therapist! Create a safe non judgemental space and people will pour their hearts out. You then know a lot more about them without them nothing anything about you. Knowledge is power.

Duuuude! You made it sinister!

I have been the unwitting therapist so many times! And I don't even think it's because I'm particularly kind, I'm just generally non-judgmental, plus I'm trying to do my work.

So people come to my desk and start talking about their lives, and I'm only half listening, so I ask a relevant question here or there, but I'm completely non-invested because I'm trying to work!

They get to unburden themselves. I seem like a great listener. And their secrets are safe because for the most part, I wasn't paying attention anyway.

I think that is why people talk to me. I won't ever tell a soul your deepest darkest secrets so tell me whatever you want. I work in a business of confidentiality so it goes without saying.

No i think all my friends are my therapist actually haha

The only crappy thing about saying something like “that hasn’t been my experience with them...etc” is that when you are a manager, it makes you appear blind to the possible things going on when you’re not there (even if you are aware or are taking care of it). While you may be trying to just make sure you and your team see the positive side with everyone, people don’t take your management seriously because you don’t have the same viewpoint of a persons work.

Hmmm i have only had a supervisor role once before & i hated it! It really is difficult. I guess I would approach that from a “i hear your feedback & i will keep an eye out but i can’t do anything without evidence.”

It’s totally different when someone is complaining about a peer Vs an employee that actually wants to you do something.

Agree! So much happier and less stressed since I started doing this. My friends call me “the diplomat” because I’ve gotten pretty good at playing therapist to both sides and can find an agreement in most arguments. I’m okay at diffusing situations too, I wonder if there are any jobs besides cops that need this skill?

Anything in a large organization, or small for that matter.

Therapists, social workers, community organizers. But pretty much anyone that needs to work with people uses these skills.

Totally and it shows that it's ok for people to have flaws and also be especially good at something. Everyone has something different to bring to the table and that's awesome.

I find that's it's helpful when venting about someone else as well. I only vent to my partner or close friends who I know won't make a big deal out if it, and if it's about a mutual friend then I'll be sure to say I'm not trying to start drama and don't want to change their opinion about the person. But goddammit sometimes my girl makes some goddamn stupid decisions and I need someone else to commiserate without it turning into a "let's all hate this person now" party.

It also helps because the person I'm complaining at doesn't feel the need to take sides and sometimes points out when I'm being the asshole.

That is good :)

I am a lot more careful about who I vent things to than I was in the past. I always try to approach things from a “i don’t understand something this person did” vs a “this person is the worst.”

I do this sort of unconsciously especially since I try and see the best in my coworkers regardless to make it easier for me to work with them. This explains why I’m the only one in my office that doesn’t have drama with anyone else!

I like to think I do what you consider a super power, but sometimes feel as if I'm too wishy-washy, too much on the 'look at both sides' -'side'.

If it’s genuine abuse, blowing it off can be hurtful to the coworker too. Hard to keep that balance. If there’s a boss genuinely treating a coworker like total garbage for example, like berating them in front of other workers, ect. If they open up to you, I would not go with “that hasn’t been my experience with the boss!” Even if you haven’t witnessed the abuse yet and aren’t sure of the situation.

Idk what the correct response would be, but I vividly recall this issue while I was in school. I was being bullied by some teachers and students. When I finally managed to open up to some of my peers, I was met with these coined responses. “They’re having a stressful time too,” “that hasn’t been my experience with them.” That can be real rough on a person trying to find some support when they’re being abused and ridiculed.

Oh yeah, that's why I mentioned that when it's abuse I feel differently. I was on the executive board of my former union local and I am always passionate about defending the rights of my coworkers. If someone is actually being treated unjustly I'll seek out the pathways to change things and give them my support. I just don't have time for general gossip.

I do think people need to vent sometimes, which is why I don't shut it down completely. People know I'm not going to tattle on them, I just don't want to add to the complaint fest. I've been in too many burned out offices to wallow in the negative (pessimism is my natural state, so I try to avoid it in my work life. I bitch and moan constantly at home)

This is exactly how I survive these remaining months of my last year in school.

While I get that, if someone is being a douche and that's what my colleague is complaining about, I'll certainly support their opinion. People like honesty and if you're all on the same page, I don't see the issue. It's hard to get to trust someone if they're always being fake about their opinions, so pretending everything is all good isn't necessarily always the best course of action.

I do these things too, and people eventually found me too boring to gossip with which has been really good for my office life. Basically if they're willing to gossip to you, they'd also gossip about you.

I just straight up say that I don't care. I'm there to do my work then go home. I have enough shit to put up with at home.

"Did you hear what Jill said to Lisa?"

Nope, don't care, too busy.

"Well Jill was all like..."

No response, not even the slightest acknowledgement that something was said.

"Are you ignoring me?"

Still no response

"Are you ignoring me?"

Still no response

Loool stone cold drama-evasion, I love it

This is exactly what i need in my life right now.thanks

I have two coworkers I don't give a shit about, out of six coworkers I have. When one person starts bitching about one or both of the two I don't care for, I just straight up say I want nothing to do with whatever they're talking about or play dumb and say I don't know. Just as well be a compliment. There's a shit load of drama, since we see each other 10-12 hours a day, daily. Don't ever see anyone else. The joys of farm work.

Yep, I do that too. Just try to listen passively. "Oh that's frustrating"

I usually avoid confrontation from people who are shit talking others by saying something along the lines of "I dont know enough about that person to give a valid opinion on x or x" and I have success with that

YES i just commented something similar a moment ago! :)

I told a colleague who was talking shit about someone: "[other guy] doesn't talk shit about anybody... and neither do you, what's up?" and it turned out he was just having a really shitty day. The other guy was suffering from depression but not a lot of us knew about it.

There is a self-fulfilling aspect to this, which I think is a good thing but important to not disregard; i.e. it makes everyone treat you with more kindness and respect than they treat others. Consequently, I often find that I'll hear about all this 'terrible' stuff that person X does; yet, to me, person X seems like a decent person. In fact, everyone I work with and socialize with seems decent, friendly, and so forth.

I became paranoid at one point that everyone was treating me differently because I was actually just so insufferable that they refused to reveal their true selves to me. Like everyone was on their best behavior and I was getting a skewed impression of the world.

But now, I just think that everyone has a decent side, and they're on their best behavior because they perceive that I don't have a tarnished impression of them and they seek to preserve that.

The only "downside" is that I don't often get included in bitch sessions because I'm just like "hmm, that's weird, they've always seemed fairly considerate to me" (and that's the truth). Whatever, I like the zone of kindness that I've created around myself.

What happens if you agree with what they are saying?

Does it matter? If it's unrelated to work and is just idle gossip about someone then I don't want to be involved. It's wasted energy.

Nah

Thank you for your contribution to this discussion.

You're welcome!

I literally work for that type of person.

Are they also that magical unicorn manager that passes off every possible part of their job, EXCEPT for the odd “special project.” The kind that the CEO and higher ups drool over, so they think they’re the best and won’t hear the truth?

I left a comfortable government position because of one.

I’m sorry for your pain.

Delegating work when possible is a manager’s job. You can’t manage work, let alone improve the processes, if all your time is spent doing it. And it would make sense for a manager to keep a special project since it’s likely more difficult and something the reports would not be as familiar with.

Delegation is one thing, your entire job is another. I’m referring to the manager no one knows what they do, because they don’t do anything themselves.

I’ve been a team leader, I still had my own duties on top of special projects and managing my team.

Its a fine line, obviously its not a subordinates job to figure out what their boss does. That being said, if an employee wonders and its left in the air while being delegated to, issues will arise. Ive seen just as many good managers victimized by bad employees that dehumanized their manager as the inverse.

good managers victimized by bad employees that dehumanized their manager

could you expand on this a little more? having trouble wrapping my mind around it

Passive employees that expect everyone to understand them and their needs without ever expressing them or putting in the effort to understand other's needs as well. Some people would prefer you do their job for them as well as your own "because you're the manager", based on some hodgepodge of former experience and made up expectations. Managers that pawn off work to buy free time are a very real problem, but so are uninformed employees with chips on their shoulders.

Know that guy. They end up not working out over time. Bad apples always fall from the tree.

Bad apples always fall from the tree.

Well... technically... all apples fall from the tree, good and bad alike lol

This think that, but... gestures at general political climate

Am I your boss?

One of my shift leads at the coffee shop I work at is like that... If you look up the definition of "two-faced snake," you'd see her picture. After my GM decided to hire her back (for some god-forsaken reason, no doubt) big issues started to arise between crew members/shift leads/managers. She'll literally talk behind everyone's back, discuss her issues with people she has less issues with, and then gets mad when it gets around to the people she was originally talking about. Somehow the GM has his head up his ass and refuses to acknowledge that she's the common denominator with literally all the feuds between co-workers.

I've been in this little college study triangle for about two years now (can't call it a circle since there are only three of us). The two others can get on each other's nerves and I can see it.

Both will dump their emotions on me about the other and I always play it cool not to dime out anyone.

It isn't a position I really want to be in, but it just happens when the other is absent. It does help knowing the other side of the story and what bothers Person B, when Person A is struggling to grasp Person B's recent attitudes toward a project. It allows me to provide a solution implicitly, in the form of a suggestion.

In a sense, it has kept the group closely bound through the thick of some tough projects. It is easy to lose sight of our actions toward others and how they decode that communication. Even if it isn't our intentions.

I can definitely tell they do the same about me if I have a rough week. I swear they go full-on SuicideWatch, not missing a beat on making sure I am alright and offering encouragement.

I like my little triangle.

To me, that sounds more like venting to a trusted colleague. You’ve demonstrated repeatedly that you’re not a gossip and that you won’t get them in trouble.

You’re good people, keep doing things like this!

I ended up having zero enemies in high school because I just wouldn't participate in shit talking/bullying behind peoples back. I never got in fights or involved in drama, and the only time I ever was told of other people "talking behind my back" was from a select person that was just trying to drag me down with her because she found out no one else really liked her. I think she was just lonely, and wanted me to stay by her side by turning me against everyone else. People always have reasons for things they say about others when they're not around. Insecurities, projections, and sometimes they're just too non-confrontational to hash out problems with another person directly, so they vent behind their back and it comes across as shit talking when it's not intended to be malicious.

And other people are just assholes and why would you want to engage in that.

Unless they see you as aligned with someone. So no matter how nice you are, you get dragged into it

Can you elaborate more about this nasty person? I'm intrigued.

Well I’m not entirely sure how, but here are some examples - keeping in mind I was reporting to her, we were a team of 4 with her in charge. It’s also worth noting, she retired two years after I left and it confirmed that the 3 of us, had in fact been doing her job for her. The Finance person was promoted when she retired and was both surprised and not to learn everything she already did, plus many of my former tasks were all that was expected of her besides now being a people leader. I dealt with HR other office management things (facilities, IT, procurement etc), and the other team members were the nasty person, the Finance person (CPA, CGA) and the receptionist who did A/P entry.

  1. In a Board meeting she’d praise and brag about the members not present for their contributions to the meeting in advance, but then in our team meeting debrief would tear a strip off them for being lazy, inconsiderate and passing on their work to her how dare they

  2. My team member opened up to us that she and her husband were entering therapy together and wanted to thank me for fighting to have an EAP program added to our benefits. In said team meeting (which included the CEO), I was praised for my Ingenious idea 🙄, and my team member was told she could take any extra time she needed off for appointments. Once the CEO left, she was given a schedule of “appropriate” times she could be gone - it was an hour a month - as she couldn’t expect our boss to pick up the slack. She went into her about over sharing in her personal life and insulted her, to her face, about her lack of ability to maintain a marriage without help.

  3. The receptionist had breast cancer; finished her chemo and was having her breasts reconstructed. In an office meeting I suggested we do a fundraiser and put together a care basket for her now that she could enjoy the things she loved again. Our receptionist had just battled stage 3 with a two year old at home. The manager was all for it in the meeting and went on and on about how we need to support her right now. Behind closed doors? She bitched at how selfish it was of the receptionist to want new breasts as the office had to hire temp staff and it messed up her budget. She screamed so loud that time someone actually heard her and mistook her yelling as something bad must have happened to the receptionist and assumed the worst.

Was her name Ani? She sounds like an Ani I dealt with

I wish this was my experience... Last summer I worked in a kindergarten where everyone talked shit about other people. I didn't, so they talked shit about me behind my back... Made it really difficult to work there. They would start stuff like: "did you hear what she said" and I usually just nodded and didn't say anything, so they would stop. I would also sometimes say stuff like yeah, but I really like working with her/kids love her, so they knew I didn't like that. So then they made me the outsider, because I didn't gossip about my coworkers. Few times I even hard it. Like once one of my kids fell asleep middle of the lunch. I picked him up and carried to bed and they laughed (they thought the door was closed, but it wasn't) and said: "she always does what that kid wants. She didn't even change the diaper before the nap!"

This kid was 16 months old... And literally fell asleep on the table and I changed the diaper before the lunch. So I should have woken him up and made him play until everyone was ready for the nap. Because that's how they always did it. I thought it was stupid. It took me a minute to carry him to bed and return to my lunch

You worked with my ex-wife?

[deleted]

Haha no, former Canadian Gov. employee. I

Machiavellian

Staying out of it isn't always great either. People start to think you're a threat and can retaliate for seemingly no reason.

What trick? The one comment op mentioned about complimenting?

Complimenting and just plain avoiding saying negative things about coworkers, whether they’re present or not.

If you’re the one saying “Sally’s got such cute shoes today” and Sally isn’t around vs “Did you see Sally’s shoes? They’re atrocious!” will earn you far more respect.

It’s more to (IMO) to prevent the “Well, if they talk about Sally that way and she isn’t here, what are they saying about me?!” kind of thought processes.

What do you think about this: A colleague of mine texted me on whatsapp after work hours with this text :" Can I ask you something and can you tell me a honest answer? Who do you like in this team?" I was dumbfounded..and he kept pestering me and telling me that : " everyone has their sympathies "

How can I avoid this type of questions without causing more drama?

I’ve got no problem being an asshole if I’m asked something like that, especially if they’re asking me to put it in writing.

My honest to god reply would be “I like all of them but you” or “Well, it’s hard to pick, can you pick out which kids you like best?” Or I’m also anti social when it comes to work social events so a fair answer is “I’m not sure I know anyone well enough to make that call.” Worked somewhere for two years and still used that line!

Next time he asks me a another stupid question I will quote you haha.

Thanks!

she sounds like my mother.

Unless you compliment the wrong person, then it could seem like you're taking sides

It can, but complimenting shoes is a far cry from taking a side in an office problem.

we’re not talking complimenting reports here, I’m talking generic office gossip and idle chit chatters.

Ah gotcha, I thought it was more about complimenting the person themselves like "I like working with Suzie, she's so organized." And the person you tell that to hates Suzie, so then they start trying to find things wrong with you.

IME work drama is very much you're with me or against me. It's usually the black and white thinking types that start the drama in the first place.

Oh you are soooo correct. That’s why I do my best to keep them superficial, it’s hard to hold it against me that I like Susies shoes today, especially if I liked your sweater yesterday.

IME, in addition to the black and white types starting it, it’s HR. My god, HR is terrible for drama (ime anyway, I once consulted at a firm where the VP of HR was sleeping with the owners married son...).

That's funny, HR is a special breed for sure. It actually seems like HR is a good barometer for the work environment in general. My last job was the only job that I've ever had where the HR people were good decent people, and it was the best work environment I've ever been in.

Also, good for you for complimenting like that. It's so easy to do it blows me away that more people don't do it. If someone's wearing a nice shirt, I say hey nice shirt and move on. Cashier is wearing a cool ring? Hey sweet ring, move on.

Just don’t get drawn into the drama. If someone tries to talk badly about another coworker to you, just say “Oh I don’t know about that, but coworker is something positive”

Me too! Week two and I dreaded going back the whole weekend. I may try this just to make other people sound like monsters when I say nice things about them and they incessantly trash me.

I had gotten this new job many years ago where the "in group" was a group of catty bitches who looked down their noses at everyone. Actively were rude to new people, & myself, being the new girl, caught on to this very quickly. They were walking around gathering "anonymous donations" for a birthday cake for the boss lady, leader of the catty bitches. They said you can donate a dollar or more, but they weren't keeping tabs. Me, in my head: "Uh huh. Suurree you're not". I dropped a twenty. The girl looked stunned, said "...You.... You know we're not telling her where the money came from, right?" I said "Yeah I know, I just like to be helpful. I hope you guys get a nice cake:)". So they were all really nice to me after that, especially boss lady. I wasn't "in", nor did I want to be, but they left me alone until they all eventually moved on. Worth every fucking penny.

I've noticed that even the nicest people at my job sometimes complain about others behind their back. It may not even be mean spirited, but I feel like if you don't bring up an issue with the person in question, it's lame to complain about it without putting effort into solving it.

​

I try to notice whenever a conversation goes in that direction, and avoid it whenever possible. But I still catch myself. At the very least I try to express that I don't have a problem with the person, but something bothered/bothers me.

​

I think a lot of people are willing to complain about others without knowing their situation or their intentions. I wonder how many people are annoyed every day by someone who doesn't even realize they're doing anything wrong, who would gladly accommodate if they were aware of it.

I understand that but sometimes you just have those guys who will not listen to criticism, who thinks they're right 100% of the time unless you present hard evidence or literally the entire staff tells you something isn't right, and claims they are you're friend but they talk mad shit about even the most tame people. I know because I had to work for one of these people.

They are impossible and sometimes you have no choice but to vent out to others.

Othet than that, if I have a problem with someone I just ask them what's their deal.

Did you hear about /u/gunnie56 ? He's been brown-nosing the entire department and has been creepin' on Cindy. Always talking about how "good" she is at her job. Weirdo alert!

Wow, this is such a good idea. The anti gossip! Just like you should know if people talk smack about others to you, they are undoubtedly talking smack about you to others, perhaps people will suspect you are talking you up to others.

I would like to inform you that I gave this comment the 1000th like. That is all.

When i got my first job a friend of mine gave me a small advice. when you are starting new you wont know almost any of the people working there, so dont form any opinion about anyone just by hearing about them from others. Be your own judge. Because eventually you might have to interact with many of them on a daily basis so by not having preconceived ideas about them might help you to have different real interaction with them.

I completely agree. It's important to make your own judgements instead of letting otherwise do it for you.

I have always tried to stay out of the drama, because it does nothing but bring misery. I've had people come up to me and ask me if they walked out or quit the job because they feel they're been wronged by the boss, if I'd do it with them. Hell no! They can make that decision on their own. Then after working with all parties for a while, I've usually found that the person who talked about the drama all the time is the person I hate to be around because they're always negative about everything and they don't try to find solutions. They just want to bitch and feel superior and bring others down.

I've had several job advancement opportunities because I stay out of that stuff and the bosses notice. In the end I'm happier with my job and have more opportunities because I've gained trust.

Also when you never talk shit about people, everyone takes your opinion more seriously when you do have a concern that needs to be addressed. People know you're being serious because you don't complain every five minutes.

The funny thing is, the more “drama” there is the faster people will find out you are saying nice things about them ‘behind their backs’!

Workplace culture doesn't happen by accident. Be the change you want to see in the organization and encourage others to do the same.

Do not get sucked into the drama. It always ends badly.

Also extra points if the compliments are true. There's always something nice to say about someone that is actually true.

Let me know how it goes!

The fact of the matter is that there are complete dumbasses who you're going to find are very difficult to complement.

These are great https://youtu.be/Xf13xhh4diM

For somebody who is trying to teach leadership, she comes across as super tone-deaf.

Her example statements are absolutely awful. I'd only hire somebody like that as a manager if I was purposely looking to cause attrition to a department.

In the scenario of employee's badmouthing the ownership, she is suggesting that you blindly defend ownership and show 0 tolerance for negative conversation.

How about asking the person why they think ownership made that decision? Help them understand why it's a good decision for the company even if it may not be directly good for that individual. Then show some empathy that they got the short-end of the stick and help them figure out the next course of action.

In the example of overtime being cut you say, "I see that you're unhappy about overtime being cut, what do you dislike most about it?"

It could be that they will miss the extra pay, it could be that they are stressed about completing their work on time, they might be worried that the company is cutting hours because they are going out of business.

Then frame things from the business perspective.

"Normally, companies only have this much overtime when they are severely understaffed or things are poorly managed. This is a test for our entire department. I know you guys are hard workers, and I know that some things might not get done as perfectly as we would both like."

"We only have two options. We can make sure we're prioritizing the right things and succeed as a team. This will show the owners that we can be trusted with overtime, or that we may need more people to help." "Or we let something important fail and the owners will want me to micromanage everyone and start replacing people that can't keep up with the new system."

My job as your manager is to make you into the most valuable employee as possible. This includes attendance, skills, and performance. The second part of my job is to fight to get you properly compensated for the value you bring. I have my limitations on how much I can pay you directly, but I know things that can help make work more enjoyable and rewarding. I'm going to make sure you're constantly gaining new skills even if they aren't related to your direct job. My goal is to get you promoted, even if it isn't with the current company.

That’s a wordy response that creates quite a few straw men

You don't understand what a straw man is.

There was only one argument that I made. She is tone-deaf, and then I supported that argument by calling out the specific scenario where she blindly defended ownership.

The rest is conjecture on how to properly handle the scenario based on various possible employee responses. Nobody can predict the future for the exact reaction, but I've been doing this long enough to know the most common and how to respond to them.

Nobody should be following her advice, it's the perfect example of managing through title instead of actual leadership. It's like constantly telling a child "Because I said so" instead of helping them understand why things are that way.

Dont get dragged into it

Keep us updated!

Don't do it too early in your tenure at the job. It will come off as extremely disingenuine as you can't actually know enough about people to make such comments.

at the very least you wont get involved I the drama because you've always said nice things about everyone.

I started a new job a while ago. There was so much gossip & finger pointing I thought I made a bad decision. Whenever I'd ask, what's that person's name, or who is responsible for that..? I learned very few people knew each other's names. It shocked me. I took the higher road. I learned people's names, one by one. I learned what they are good at, and invited to teach them what they didn't know. If I was told "I don't know how to do that." I'd ask if they had time & wanted to learn. If yes, either we'd do it right then, or next time we both could I'd make a point of remembering, and inviting them. Often it works out. sometimes, for sure, not. But, bottom line, I've made a reputation for myself that I know people, and I teach well, thank you very much!

Today, this place I work is better, and I like to think I have had something to do with that.

It works. Even if it doesn’t stop other people’s drama, it will let all around you know that you don’t play that game. I’m a stripper, that means that 99% of my coworkers are women who tell pretty lies for a living. If you aren’t careful, you start telling those pretty lies on a regular basis. This leads to workplace drama and fighting and cliques. When people realized that not only was I not going to listen to what Destinee said about Mercedes, I had something nice to say about everyone. They didn’t know what to do when this happened. Soon, people stopped coming to me with drama and started coming to me to ask how I got along with everyone, even the “mean” ones. Now, we have a happier little naked family who make more money because we stopped infighting.

Also, if anyone in the work space doesn’t like you or likes to talk about you perhaps, work on ways to make them look better if the opportunity arises, too. Maybe mention a thing that’s good about them to someone else that no one else really mentions.

It’ll surprise them to see how much more valuable you are, and it sets a strong statement on who you are personally.

Best thing you can do in a toxic work environment is establish dominance through power poses.

Drama comes from people not being honest with each other. And not accepting others’ flaws. I think drama is unecessary and is a serious and embarrasing waste of time.

Give us an update!!

My official start day isn't until early May but I will keep you posted when it happens

"I love how Kathy just wears anything.. I could never"

Contact hr or if there's an employee relations manager

I tried to avoid drama in my company, and as a result I became the center of it as frustrated coworkers began to assume that my work was somehow easier. Once I started to complain more to the people around me, suddenly they felt I was working hard enough. I don’t get it.

Everyone starts to hate you because you suppor the "other side".

"Stop patronizing me, you bitch!"

I've made an effort in my life to always do this, if i'm talking about you and you aren't in the room then it's always complimentary.

i'm going to do this more often

oi, you hear about that /u/Easypeaseee dude? I hear they're good people

To /u/Easypeaseee: Oi cunt, here's your fucking biro back you scummy prick.

To everyone else: /u/Easypeaseee is such a nice chill dude, I would blow him if given the chance.

I'm free this afternoon?

I mean, if you need a 3rd, in here

Count me in! A fourth is always welcome.

The fourskin agrees. The poop knife stroke was outworldly.

If you need a fifth, let me know. I can hold the camera

I'll do audio, although where to put the clip-on mics may be a problem the way this thread is going...

That's what the labia is for

Genuinely burst out laughing at that, thank you :)

I can just see it now: "Ok, I'll just clip the lav mic... here..." "EEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

I thank you. Too kind, too kind

Or the scrote. It's where everyone's mouth is gonna be, after all.

Hey....HEY! Go get a room....for SEVEN.

I can hold a lot more if you can fit in a sixth

Would you all be benevolent with a seventh?

Bing, bang, boom we got a reddit orgy. Virtually unfuckable

Count me in!

10th! Wait what am I?

Horny

True. And I AM in a semi empty lecture hall. :)

a sixth person!? In my ASS!?

Hey, if you never try you never know

If you need a Sikh, I'll bring my kirpan.

Why you taking fifth? Do you have something to hide?

r/redditorgy

r/suddenlygay

I just forgot about the poop knife thing. Thx

You're welcome. It is my duty to spread poop knife awareness 😌

don't forget about The Game... cos now you are losing again

You deserve a special place in hell

oh, do you Roko's Basilisk, also?

because now you do.

r/brandnewsentance

count me in as an alternate player

​

Four? More the merrier

Man you could do the mythical "dick sucking wheel". Its only achievable when you have 3 or more people sucking eachothers dick.

I can stick my penis in your afro if you're needing a 4th

Let's make a circle!

5 o’cock work for you?

Name checks out

r/suddenlygay

After 6pm, he starts charging fees.

Wait till the afternoon? How about right here, right now? I'm rock hard, on the spot.

mmmm, afternoon dick

u/tomatoaway you gonna talk about it or be about it?

Think how much less drama there would be if all relationships worked like this.

boy, that escalated quickly

Aussie mateship 101

hahaha, too true

That motherfucker?! My mom said she had a nice time.

Yeah, maybe a little TOO good if you catch my drift... wait I’m doing it again aren’t I?

I'm a fan of them. /u/avbitten is also an awesome person.

Never heard of em but ill keep it in mind. /u/hippihippo however is quite awesome.

holy shit! its working.. so many upvotes for no other reason then being positive! great work.. you guys are great /u/lordsoren /u/easypeaseee /u/tharage53

Dude if I had a dollar for every time i heard someone say this, I'd give all the money to /u/Easypeaseee because they're so heckin swell.

And I heard u/hippihippo is trying to improve.

You don’t really understand how to talk behind someone’s back, do you?

You didn't hear it from me, u/hippihippo is pretty cool.

Well this isn't really behind their back as they're literally getting a notification of you mentioning their name. The real way to do is this:

This Easypeaseee dude is a really good person, believe me!

Boy that Funke is really something

Great fucking guy.

I really liked avbitten's post too. They always do fantastic posts. Keep this between us though, yeah?

Is it really behind their back if you ping them?

Nah he's a dick mate, he once touched my dog all funny like.

Do it. I've known people who have completely changed toxic workplaces by replacing gossip with positivity. A friend had a horrible workplace and she made a decision one day that, every time someone started complaining about someone else, she would always say something positive about that person.

"Yeah, that can be frustrating sometimes, but...." followed by something they like about the person.

Within six months, 90% of the bad talk had gone away, and people's dispositions toward each other changed wildly.

One of the better tricks in How to Win Friends and Influence People.

It's as easy as saying "Wow, that guy is pretty sharp" or "She's always on it" or "I could definitely learn a few things from him."

I’m going to try this also

Yeah Julia you are just the best person! Take that

Same here. Unlike that u/avbitten who's always talking garbage about people.

I’ve never spoken about someone in a negative way behind their back and always try to speak positively when people aren’t present in a conversation.

But it doesn’t matter because I’m a cunt to their face.

[deleted]

My dad was always pretty silent about feelings. My mom told me on prom night “your father thinks you look very nice.” Knowing him, I immediately understood he didn’t have the guts to tell me directly.

Having the guts to share feelings should be a default, and I’m sorry he was raised the way he was. But it definitely happens.

That's really cute

Not just that he thought so, but the fact that your mum is the only person in the world he openly shares his feelings with.

gives a weak smile

I was looking for this as soon as i saw the comment

r/unexpectedoffice

No such thing on this website.

Need to create r/expectedoffice

Edit: didn’t expect that to already exist

Best comment I've come across all day, you've earnt one schrute buck

"I love Johnny. He's such a nice lovely..."

Johnny enters room

"...COCKSUCKER!"

Thats pretty much me and my best friends lol

Ah, the Swearengen. A classic.

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA!!!

Take my upvote you glorious bastard!

Mom?

*Thank you kindly, u/Rooniebob , for the gold!

Most underrated comment yet

not anymooooore.

I’d much prefer this over you being nice to my face and a cunt behind my back. At least I know where you stand.

Someone said to me once "pay attention to how someone talks about a person who isn't in the room, because that's how they'll talk about you when you're not in the room", and it really stuck with me.

D-Dad, is that you?

Sometimes I very much enjoy a cunt to the face.

Bullshit, you have said something about someone behind their back.

That's a good practice. I'll tell other people about your positive traits, and if I have an issue, or a gripe, I'll pull you up and talk to you personally about it. But I will also tell people about that time you crapped your pants at work as long as you've joked about it before.

Hey that’s gre-

wait what.

I just make a rule of not saying things I wouldn't say to their face. Regrettably it turns out I am willing to say quite disagreeable things to someone's face.

I have gotten better but it is a long process of commiting to memory that no its not appropriate to say tell someone she looks fat if asked or that I can't tell they are wearing makeup/have a tan.

My family at least seems to prefer I lie to them. Seems odd to me but you know. Doin what I can.

Just a note for people to recognize the "if" in this statement. If the person is a total piece of shit, then don't say anything. I would not trust someone that compliments a total piece of shit.

OP had a beautiful mom

What if they are dicks tho

Yeah, like don't bitch about people, but warning others that someone is an awful person is pretty valid.

How do you respond when youre talking to someone and they start saying bad things about a coworker?

u/Avbitten has some pretty good advice right there

Have you seen dat ass, what nice booty

Gottta start doing this

That’s awesome. I think for most people, it’s much easier to gossip in a bad way. It’s easy to mutually hate something.

Except about Karen. Fuck Karen.

Actual caveat: If you heat up fish in the microwave for lunch.

that's really cool, I feel guilty af

Same here. When I have a problem with somebody, I always talk about that problem to that person only. I don't mind doing so in public (especially when I know I'm right), but I never say anything behind the back that I would not say face to face.

I have to add : I don't have many friends and most people consider me like an asshole, because I always tell what I deeply think to people. And trust me, I made some people cry.

Some people do this so that they're more trusted when they badmouth people.

I try to do this too, unless I'm talking to my fiancee about people, then the mad shit talking comes out

And when I'm outside I talk all the shit I want

As long as you’re following some sort of a “can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all” kind of rule though. Don’t just make up nice things to say about people that you don’t even believe, that doesn’t help either.

That's awesome dude!

Same if im talking to someone I always make sure to walk behind them before complementing.

So thats why you are so quiet

Does that mean if they're in the room, it's the opposite?

y'know, my workplace can be a cessy henhouse...but I don't follow your advice. I'm doubtless part of the problem. I never say anything that isn't true, or generally obvious, and I'm by no means the worst offender. Y'know, having just typed that sentence out, I just admitted to being an offender didn't I.

Thanks for the correction. I'll try to do better.

Honestly I think that’s a bad idea. Life isn’t all gumdrops and lollipops so in my opinion conversation shouldn’t be that way either. My rule of thumb is this: if I wouldn’t say it to the persons face, then I wouldn’t say it at all. Sometimes discussing with friends about a “problem” with another will help you resolve the issue or give you a chance to understand from a position you wouldn’t normally think of on your own. As long as you fully intend to just honestly want to “fix” whatever issue it is you are talking about.

Be their champion in their absence

If I AM in the room are you talking shit?

mom is the person that talks shit to your face but complements you behind your back :-D at least im that type of mom

what do you do if the person that's being talked about IS a massive cunt though?

Thank you! It means a lot.

Say you work with absolutely incompetent pricks who put the lives of other people in danger with their stupidity. Do you still compliment & make them look good, reassuring management that they are the right people for the job? Let’s say you do this & someone gets seriously injured because the folks you’ve been complimenting do something absolutely retarded.

I would never say this to her face but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist

Edit: this is my first ever gold so I have to make a comment about it. Who knew that all I had to do was post a random quote from the office that plenty of other people also thought of

Why wouldn't you say that to her face?

Haha that's the very first thing I thought of.

Your art... was the best art... of ALL the art

You know what I think is sexy? Pam's art.

r/DunderMifflin

I use variations of this line all the time depending on the person

Why wouldn’t you say that to her face?!

As soon as i saw the original comment, I knew that this was going to be here; not disappointed

I understood that reference!

(And was actively looking for it to avoid a double-post)

It rings a bell but I cant place it :/

You were in the parking lot earlier, that’s how I know you!

The Office, I believe. Michael says it to Oscar about Pam.

why wouldn’t you say that to her face?

I've seen people post this 50000000 times... I've upvoted it 50000000 times.

ya that guy..shoot, you didnt hear this from me alright but i heard he picks up trash on the weekends to help better the community and also donates his sundays to the boys and girls club.

Was just about to comment this

Beat me to the punch

You beat me to it!

r/unexpectedoffice

If people see you compliment others when they're not around, then those people will know that you're not cutting them up behind their backs as well. You will be more trustworthy and people will feel more comfortable around you.

Do people really think this? I have never had someone complement someone without them being present and thought to myself "hmm I bet they say nice things about me when I'm not here".

[deleted]

True but does it really matter? My mom always said what people say behind your back is none of your business.

Just because people notice negative actions doesn't mean they will also notice positive ones. Probably best to avoid the whole thing tbh

Yes. I've witnessed a leader refer to others as a "stupid fuck" behind their backs. Guess who no longer gets my moments of vulnerability/self-doubt?

They were just blowing off steam, but the damage was still done.

Edit: I usually give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes, people are dumb sometimes, but I assume they're either in a stressful moment, they didn't have their cup of coffee, or they didn't have the time to think through their question properly. Unless it's a trend, it's probably just a passing moment. I've asked dumb questions before thinking myself.

Everyone's right here! It's important to remember that being talked about behind your back shouldn't be taken to heart like gospel truth. Especially when it says more about the speaker than the subject.

But it's also important to pay attention to choices made by the people around you and what it suggests about those people. Especially to avoid being blindsided if they show a clear pattern of douchebaggery, then turn around and foist it on you too.

Haha, my aunt taught me a good quote about that. "Your opinion of me is none of my business."

I do agree with this somewhat. You could be just blowing off some steam calling me a hard ass and a difficult person behind my back but that doesn't mean that's all you think of me. It could the 2 negatives to my 100 positives.

You might not consciously think it, but I bet you leave with a more positive impression of who they are as a person.

Not all thought processes are conscious :)

I wouldn't necessarily say it's a conscious thought, but it's definitely waaaaay more obvious the other way round.

At my old job I used to have someone who would come into our closed office where I worked with a small team, and when the door was closed they would just vent. Sometimes it could get really malicious. I always used to think to myself: if that's what you're saying about so-and-so in this office, then who do you bitch about when you go and sit in their office? I was always very careful around them, because in the back of my mind there was a very high chance that they were going to sit in someone else's office and bitch about me/my team, because I knew they did it to others.

I can think of a handful of colleagues I've worked with previously where that thought wouldn't even cross my mind, simply because I never heard them do it about anyone else.

i definitely have thought “wow Maria never says anything mean about anyone.” Idk if I assumed it applied to me but I notice their kindness.

I've thought the opposite before - that when I see people criticize others behind their backs, I feel fairly confident that they're treating me the same way.

It applies more with shit talkers. If you're around people who are constantly talking shit about people while they are gone, you can be damn sure they're talking shit about you behind your back.

Maybe you should, because I guarantee others are making judgements about your character from your words and actions.

True, but you subconsciously feel differently towards them, aka they're kind or backstabbing, which translates to you trusting them more or less.

I do, I know some just truly genuinely positive and happy people that see the best in everyone and I feel really good around them just the fact that they are like that and I know they also like things about me too.

If not complement, defend. It's like the inverse of asking a favor from some that doesn't like you.

Talking about everyone on their faces works too, the good, the bad and the ugly always up front. Some people will hate you, but the ones that end up trusting you will really do, and know that your compliments are not void and trust that the things you say, you mean them.

If you compliment people behind their backs too often and never say anything bad, I'd think you are being disingenuous; I've unfriended people for being "positive", always complementing people, always being nice, always being polite.

So while it works with some people, it is not foolproof, some people like "niceness" some like "genuineness", I am not saying if you are genuine you are less nice, but you are definitely perceived as less nice when you say what you think, and you are perceived as less genuine when you are always nice, it all depends on how you aim to live your life.

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There are circumstances where it's totally appropriate to say someone did something wrong or hurtful; that's not the same as gossiping and bad-mouthing people. You always have the option to keep your opinion to yourself if you're not talking to someone who needs to know what's going on. Most people find those who engage in negative gossip untrustworthy and less enjoyable to be around.

There's always the exception, but especially in a work environment, there's just not really a good reason to foster toxicity.

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You can be honest without being an asshole. Nobody's asking you to lie. Just don't be intentionally mean, or talk shit when it's not relevant to the person you're talking to.

People then trust you to take issues to the appropriate place and not spread them around where they don't belong.

I worked with someone who talked bad about everybody, and of course we all knew she did about us, too. She was very toxic to the environment. When she was off work it was so much better.

I cheat that a little bit, but always giving someone a fair shake goes a long way.

This. As a dude who has worked for years in animal care (a field full of young women who love to compete and complain about one another with one another) this is a great tactic. Even young men get roped into the drama due to all the hormones in the workplace, but I mention women because it’s just a field mostly dominated by them. The men tend to compete silently but they have their drama too.

Best thing to do is be everyone’s best friend. Never talk shit. Always compliment people behind their back and you will be everyone’s favorite co worker. Always be willing to lend a hand to coworkers and listen to their personal and work drama even if you don’t want to, and even the most dramatic workplace drama will move past you like nothing. And while I am also good at the job, I’m confident that being everyone’s friend, even to those I didn’t like, is what has earned me promotions.

If you Get involved, everyone will want you to participate and you’ll feel dirty.

What goes around comes around. If people think you like them, they’ll want to work around you. Sometimes it can infect everyone and you’ll have a great team of coworkers and you’ll love going to work

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That's why you should only give genuine compliments.

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I mean it depends on the compliment...

"Alice did some amazing work with that charity last week" - good compliment

"Alice has a great rack" - bad compliment

There's always exceptions but generally I feel like it's pretty obvious. Or atleast I hope so.

Can't believe I had to scroll this far for actual good advice. People do not like being talked about, period. Just shut the fuck up about co-workers. If a conversation becomes about someone, excuse yourself from it.

This. If I'm not genuinely grateful/happy about something, I say nothing. I did not give any compliments to my direct boss last boss' day because I didn't have anything genuinely positive to say. I'm actually looking forward to the upcoming boss' day in October because now I have something genuinely nice to express.

What if I do both. Talk good and bad depending on the truth

During lunch break one of my buddies was saying what he liked about our absent friend, and i joined in, adding a compliment to another friend who was there. Then the others started fishing for compliments. By the time i got to the fifth person i literally said "Ugh i can't think of anything right now" and oh my god he didn't talk to me for the rest of the week. Seriously, he was livid and emotionally hurt. Looking back, it was harmless, but christ if it wasn't the most savage thing i could have said...

Just last week a few of us were playing a card game which involved complimenting an opponent, and one of the players said - over the volume of the crowded room - "You don't know how to compliment me?! :O". He was taken aback. I whispered into the other player's ear and she started giggling like a loon, and finally blurted out: "You... :D you... ^XD! ...You don't sweat much for a fat lad!". He was livid. And emotionally hurt. I was proud of that.

One of the realities is that you can compliment all you want, but it’s nature for people to twist the words and create the drama. Best case scenario, just stay quiet and do your work lol.

Yes!! I try to set a rule for myself to at least give a compliment to one person every day. It just helpful and can make the persons day

I like giving random acts of compliments. You never know who is going through a rough time and needs to hear they have value.

Wait why wouldn’t you just compliment someone to their face

I do that too, but complimenting people when they are not around shows that you are trustworthy even when nobody is watching.

I work with someone who does the opposite. They say what they think about people when they're not there and it's not complimentary. I overheard something about me once and something about another person another time. Both times the disparaging comments were to my and the other person's manager.

I feel like I can't trust this person now and it's caused a big rift. Yet they can be so lovely when they want. People wouldn't believe they could say bad things behind people's backs.

It's been annoying me for ages. Am making progress towards letting it go though.

Got it, thanks 🙏

Right until the person you're talking to starts gossiping about them

The idea is that if you're talking about others when they're not around, make it as positive as you can.

I should aspire to do this more

Complimenting someone to their face is normally good, but it can easily be manipulative. So if someone doesn’t really trust you, and you compliment them to their face, they might not have any reason to trust that your compliment is genuine.

But you can’t really manipulate someone by complimenting them behind their back. It will always seem more genuine, and it might even make it back to the person you complimented, in which case they’ll know it’s an honest compliment.

You should do that too. But if you are nice to Bob to his face, then gossip about him to Carol, Carol is going to wonder what you’re saying about her when it’s just you and Bob.

But what if Bob really is an abrasive asshole, but you have a habit of peacekeeping even with abrasive assholes?

You can still speak nice of people while acknowledging their faults. I doubt that Carol is in the dark about Bob if he's that much of an asshole. Or if Bob really has no redeeming features, then why expend your breath and mental energy rehashing his negativity? At that point, all you are doing is just wallowing in it, and you're not doing you or Carol any favors by constantly talking about him when he's not around.

Guess you can peace keep or call them out on their behaviour. Tricky decision.

because it's not as manipulative

on the flip side, never say anything behind someones back you wouldn't say to their face.

​

Since practicing this even when I am talking shit people know I mean it and will happily tell them straight to their face. It leads to people believing what I say rather then thinking I am just starting drama.

Always assume they'll hear it eventually. If you don't want them to hear it, don't say it.

Exactly. If you wont say it to their face why say it behind their back.

I'm not afraid to tell certain co workers I think they are fucking worthless.

on the flip side, never say anything behind someones back ~~you wouldn't say to their face.~~

FTFY

In a similar vein, I believe doing subtle things for people totally anonymously is supposed to give you an inner glow.

Can't say I've tried it myself.

I have and it does. I'm always much happier when I help someone out. It's like a cheat code for life honestly.

The key for me was doing them just to be nice. Truly not expecting anything in return is hard.

What you get in return is seeing someone feeling personally empowered. It's so much more rewarding that gratitude from them to you for doing something for them. When they think they did it themselves, it enhances everything about them.

I see a lot of people doing this and it always seems so fake.

I agree that it reduces drama but it's a bit disgusting when overdone.

You always have the option to just not participate in negative talk. Stay quiet or walk away. I'd rather people overdo it with being good to each other than the other way around.

For sure. IMO just be genuine, if you like someone compliment them, if you don't then say nothing.

LPT: complimenting people behind their backs, especially co-workers doesn’t mean “Karen from Accounting has a nice ass” when you’re walking down the hall behind her.

Honestly one of my best friends is my best friend because she called me out one time when I was engaging in passive bullying. Ever since then I've been careful to think about what I'm going to say about another person before it leaves my mouth. So maybe my response to this post is to make friends with people that make you a better person, even if it's at the cost of (gasp!) having your own ego checked. Double bonus, you know you have a friend that would defend you behind your back too.

I did this at my new job last year, in a place that celebrated the opposite. I heard a lot of "aren't you nice" for many months. It had a high insinuation of "aren't you naive." One person actually said, "wait until you've been here a few years. You'll be just as jaded as the rest of us." I refuse to be anything other than who I am, and I'm finding that those around me are deciding that being nice makes the workday more tolerable. I feel like I've infected the program with positive malware.

Edit: a word.

On this same note, taking an interest in the people around you (ie. family, friends and the likes) and giving them small, sincere compliments like “your makeup/hair/outfit/whatever looks really nice today” or something along those lines can really boost their mood/self-esteem. It’s a really small gesture and often people put a lot of effort into these sorts of things so it’s always nice when that’s appreciated.

I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist.

Yeah and sometimes it comes back to you later...but in a good way!

And then you berate them to their face I assume? Pretty two faced of you!

I notice that when you do this people gossip less when they’re around you. It’s great. I don’t like it when someone talks badly of someone to me it makes me uncomfortable

You say like it's really easy to do. I guess I'm just antisocial guy

"I would never say this to her face but I think she's a gifted artist and beautiful person"

"Why wouldn't you say that her face????"

Not just behind their backs. I like to compliment people to their face, b/c I don't think people get many compliments on a normal day.

Also, Compliment people to their faces!

Also compliment people to their faces! I have one coworker who says things like “you did a good job here,” “I appreciate this,” and “I like your new haircut.” He’s also really good at his job. The combination makes him really likeable. Unfortunately for us he just quit for a new job somewhere else.

I also to tell the person directly. If I think someone is doing something right I tell them, and it has made our teamwork so much better! Positive reinforcement is largely underestimated

I heard u/Liquor_N_Whorez is a pretty humourous person

Awwww... Thanks!

Hell, do it to their face too

Complementing people always puts me in a better mood

“I would never say this to her face, but she’s a wonderful person and a gifted artist.” - Michael Scott

What if everybody coworker is a cunt?

I always say a good friend will talk shit about you to you, but talk great things about you behind your back.

That u/Avbitten, what an absolute credit to reddit.

Always compliment, always defend within reason.

I may think you're god awful at your job, but you'll never know.

This comment got more upvotes than the question

I always do this. That way if anyone tries to say that I was talking shit, they can jus ask anyone and they’ll tell you that most of the time I have nothing but positive things to say about people.

I like to do this in public to random people. I once heard a girl compliment my hair and I gave me a huge confidence boost. So I will in a loud whisper say to whoever I'm with, "wow, her shoes are really cute! That guy has amazing hair, I wonder were she got those leggings they look great on her!" As self centered beings we always think people are talking about us any way. It's nice to hear good things every once in a while.

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When people ask the difference between sexual harassment and a compliment, I'll show them this comment.

I would never say this to her face, but she is an amazing person

I wouldnt do this. Not at all. Just dont talk about anyone behind their back. Otherwise people can misunderstand your faked compliments and it will backfire.

​

Well don't use fake compliments. Everyone has something good about them worth complimenting.

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You're absolutely right, this guy is extremely naive and I can't believe this terrible advice is the top comment

This comment was the most upvoted comment across all of Reddit on April 8th, 2019!

^(I am a bot for )^/r/topcommentoftheday ^( - Please report suggestions/concerns to the mods.)

Gasp! I'm honored!

How close should I stand when I do it? Should I get right up behind them and whisper it in their ear or just scream it at the top of my lungs whenever they turn the other way and not worry about the distance?

My coworkers and I all do this. Has built up a lot of trust between us especially since we all work, 2 1/2 days straight, alone. Whenever our boss comes around, we only compliment each other. They recently had a meeting that I was unable to attend and some of it was about me. They defended the fuck out of me no matter what was said and honestly makes me feel much better.

I would also really like if people stopped asking for/expecting compliments. They just lose their value this way. When I'm on the birthday of someone, whether I like them or not, I have to say "Happy birthday.". I feel the same way with people who expect compliments.

The world responds to the emotions you put out.

If you freely give happiness and kindness it comes back to you.

If you freely give bitterness it comes back to you.

If you give no emotions, that comes back to you as well.

It costs you literally nothing to be nice to somebody and in return you'll feel better too.

What I said was about others, not me.

This is the kind of comment I come for

one of my old teachers had a policy of never saying negative about any previous class. He would always compliment. if someone came by he would ask for them to give advice to the class.

Absolutely.

I've found this to be a great way to suggest your genuine meaning behind it, because often times people will relay the nice things said about you which others have confided in them. And of course, why would they share such things about you when you're not around unless they meant it? It's a very nice thing to do, especially when you know that your words very well may be relayed to that person through the other person.

Yes! And avoid backbiting/gossip. Seriously. Even if you are “telling the truth” about someone behind their back, a pro tip in life is to not say anything that you wouldn’t say to their face, unless it’s something positive. It’s good for integrity, adds a layer of optimism, and you aren’t being two faced.

Especially for anyone in the service industry, tell the manager how a staffer made you feel good about the place.

This definitely helps with integrating new people. They see a friendly group and usually become more open. I’ve noticed they they also take criticism more well.

If you're going to compliment me, drop a pair and do it to my face! That is if you're a man!

"I would never say this to her face, but she's a wonderful person and a gifted artist."

My job needs to learn this... I've noticed people tend to talk shit until they're face to face, then act like they're good drinking buddies or something... A couple of our drivers have hit me up about what a few people have said on different shifts too regarding myself and the other person that works in the warehouse area. It's so dumb, I can't figure it out...

gahhhh this is such good advice. it can make someone appreciate you eternally if they find out, encourages others to do the same, reduces negativity in your own life, and added bonus--makes you look good to all parties involved.

Also in general, especially as a manager: praise in public, critique in private.

I teach and some of my colleagues always criticize a colleague behind her back. I understand she's not a great teacher and has problem with her classes but no matter how right they might be this just makes me feel really sad for that teacher and as a new teacher it just makes me think they are probably backstabbing me too when I'm not there. It's hard to side with someone who spits venom behind someone's back. To be honest it went to the point I felt disgusted and talk to hardly anyone now.

This is something I do but I always worried it made me look like kind of a goon. I get excited talking about cool people I meet.

I only ever say things behind people’s backs that I would say to their face. This includes the positive and the negative.

Ah one lovely trick i found in comments that i can actually relate to :)

I need to start doing this more often. I do it occasionally but half the time I’ll just talk shit about people (whether they’re in the room or not).

Wish my coworkers can understand that concept.

Totally agree. I have this lecturer (literally one of the best people I’ve ever met). She always goes above and beyond for people including myself, giving nice compliments and even says great things about me to other people which truly does mean a lot.

I started doing this because I realized it's better to focus on what people can do, rather than what they do badly. Results were better than before so 10/10 would recommend.

THIS. I cannot stress this enough

The reason this is such a good tip is because we have believe people act much in the way we do.

If you talk good behind others backs or even in general, then you will assume it's likely others are doing the same.

If you talk badly, then you will likely assume that others are doing the same.

So one makes you feel better about life, abd the other worse.

Starting to wonder now if all of those compliments I've been paid behind my back are down to people knowing about this tip...

This is great advice. It is so easy to do and, in my experience, it makes you more likeable and trustworthy. Those two traits that will take you a long way in life.

It also greatly improved your general attitude.

When you give out positives, you begin to think that way more naturally. The same way that when you bitch about people behind their backs, you begin to think more negatively in general.

They are not big, night and day changes. It's slow, gradual over time. But you compare 'who you were before to who you are now' and you notice a difference.

I compliment people to their face and behind their backs. When I trusted my complaints with the wrong person, the fact that I'm usually known for complimenting people helped save my behind.

To tack onto this, don't complain to your coworkers about other coworkers. Learned that one the hard way.

Thanks for this. Most unexpected one in the thread.

Better yet, write their boss an unsolicited letter of praise, mentioning specific examples of how awesome they are.

When people ask me how I stay out of drama at work I say this. Even if I have no reason to like a person I work with or am around a lot at all, I’ll still do this bc I assume people that know the person in question better will gossip about what others say about them and I’ll come up. I think it’s a good way to stave off notoriously passive aggressive co-workers. If they hear I said something nice about them, especially new co-workers, in theory they’ll have a better disposition towards me.

I would never say this to her face but she is a gifted artist and a wonderful person

This is a great philosophy. Especially when speaking with people who tend to be negative. I like to pull people in as if I’m going to gossip, then say something nice. It throws toxic people off.

I’ve done this in high school, and the person I’m complementing usually doesn’t hear about it, but others’ opinion of me seems to have had increased, and I noticed (or at least my friends noticed) that others were more willing to help me if I asked for help than they would others.

I made it a personal rule and a rule within my family that for at least an hour after you say goodbye to friends/family/guests/whoever, you speak about them as if they could hear everything you say.

When you stick to that, you actually come away from these interactions more positively. You're saying nice things about these people, which makes everyone around you think better of them. Then they say nice things, which makes you also think better of them. It's a feedback loop.

It doesn't always work, I mean some people you interact with (especially family and relatives) are going to be pretty hard to redeem...but for the most part I can stick with it.

My office is exactly the opposite of this. Everyone talks shit about everyone else. There’s invariably a blowout during the week. Then everyone pretends to be over it by Friday, rinse and repeat for the next week.

You went over my helmet?!?

Literally a girl who hated me in high school and tried to push me off a third story veranda heard me say that I was impressed with her singing voice and she was my biggest fan after that

Literally going to change my life now

This is important. I’ve thought about this when I started talking about a co-worker who likes to slack off. It ends up making me feel shitty anyway

"I'd never say this to her face, but she's a wonderful person and a gifted artist." - Michael Scott (about Pam)

As a wise man once said: "I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist."

No joke, I did this once and the girl overheard and got pissed off.

I work on a boat 14 days in a row, all 12 hour days. I am on a crew with two other people and we share the boat with two other crews. My crew really doesn’t like the other two, and I hear them talking shit daily. I am constantly surrounded in negativity about the other 6 people, and it’s pretty annoying but I’ve noticed I start to have negative thoughts about them too, and I keep catching myself.

This is great advice and will really help me out. Thanks.

My old manager would talk shit about other employees, myself included. I was dealing with a big baby. Worst of all, this guy was head of HR. Needless to say, I quit because I got tired of him.

Well only time I actually say anything bad about someone behind their back, is because I truly hat or really dislike said person and I don't have anything good to say, than it's more or lessing bitching, but I only do it so I don't have to be rude to said person when I'm talking to them or anything

I find myself often sitting thinking nice things about a particular person when I think, "Yo, why don't I text him and let him know". We're taught that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all but I think it's important that we also do the reverse

Praise people in public, criticize them in private/confidence.

This is such a good piece of advice!

When you do this people just stop coming to you with rumors and drama because they know you aren't gonna have it and could care less.

It's also really valuable to learn to see the good in people. Bad things are easy to see and point out...but it's way more fun to talk about the good stuff and it helps build relationships in a positive way.

I’m a college student, and after talking to someone in a group setting and they have to take off, I’ll wait til they’re just far enough away for them to still hear me, but for them to think I don’t know that. Once they’re that far I’ll drop a really nice compliment about them to everyone else and hope that they hear it and think it was behind their back :-)

Me:hello Stacy.

Stacy:hi there.

Me:can you turn around for a second.

Stacy: umm okay turns back to me

Me: wow Stacy you look good today!

Stacy: wtf my ass only looks good today?!

Is this what you had mind.

Also give people the benefit of the doubt. Most people are well intentioned.

But what if they're not worthy of compliments?

I need to follow this advice now that I've started a new job. I already made the mistake of saying another co-worker who trained me was 'intense'. It clearly got back to her since she made a comment to me 'this isn't too intense for you right?'

It was the nicest way to describe her tbh, she was horrendous to be trained by and super controlling/mean to me the whole time.

I love this! Its weird how people have become so accustomed to talking negatively about people behind their back. Its weird how complimenting people behind their back is like the taboo thing.

Read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People.

I feel like it's all about that.

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So just make sleep your hobby then

This is how my depression tricks me!

SLPT: Be depressed to get more sleep

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Stop, this hurts

It’s hitting too close to home for me too lol

literally laying in bed not sleeping is, like, my jam

I had that problem my whole life up until a month ago, I tried some guide to lucid dream and I pass out whenever I want now, been going a month strong of normal sleep. I havnt had a lucid dream but at least it knocks me out and I found what works for me after countless years of not getting any sleep.

Would you care to share the guide? That sounds awesome.

What guide was this? Would love to try as I have this problem. Thanks!

Ill see if I can find the guide when I get home, but my routine is relax everything, i usually make sure to have my hands lay on my stomach or chest and lay on my back with no lights in the room. Then just focus on 2 things, one being what I want to dream about, not gonna lie its usually something sexual and try to focus on picturing the action and characteristics of their face/body. The other main thing I focus on is thinking of nothing / darkness, at the same time try not to fall asleep and enter a dream state while awake, I always pass out before I can even hear stuff, but if you get to the point of hearing stuff or seeing stuff you are supposed to focus on that. Pretty much try to dream while awake, and try not to fall asleep while putting yourself to sleep, if that makes sense. It may not work for anyone but me, but certainly worth a try.

I've always wondered if this helps for people with insomnia -- read something boring and / or requires a lot of thinking that tires your brain more than it excites your brain. I'm still studying for my professional exams and studying for them knocks me out at night.

As some others have said, please share your guide. Would be nice to try it out.

I replied to one of them, really bad at explaining things tho. Main key points is just lay on your back, relax all muscles, focus on one thing you want to dream about, also focus on nothingness, and try not to fall asleep to enter a dream state while aware. I pass out before that ever happens tho, kinda bitter sweet.

Thanks mate! I've tried to think about nothing, but I usually end up thinking about a lot of other stuff. And I can't really sleep on my back. I always lay on my side. But I'll give this a try.

Pretty sure it’s my favorite hobby of mine. I’ve mastered the art of getting comfy.

I feel this in my soul

maybe it helps if you get into the habit of using the bit literally only for sleep and sex. Lay about and / or lounge elsewhere, bed needs to be designated sleep spot.

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This is social media.

It's not all social media causing it all

r/2meirl4meirl

Thats what I tell my depression

Don't worry, your depression will tell you it's fine.

I heard this was the title of u/urban_rural12's sex tape. They slay.

Get outta here Peralta!

Just like the light.

This is a good funny summary of why we do this to ourselves - How to Maximize Misery by CGP Grey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

that's def the best part of depression : always sleepy, even if you sleep 13 hours a day

Probably meme-ing, but if not, and for those who don't know: sleeping 10h or more is actually going to result in you being more tired than sleeping the recommended amount of 7-9h. I've even read that sleeping 12h might make you more tired in the short term than sleeping 5h.

I was memeing, but I know that. That's why I try to restrain my sleep as much as I can. BUT when you barely sleep 3 or 4 hours a night for a whole week in a row, I'll tell you that you need the 13 hour-sleep, otherwise you won't function properly the next week.

What if I'm still tired after 7-9 hours?

Long term sleepy depression sufferer here. Get checked for sleep issues, but if it's just depression, you have to fight it mentally. Every day your brain will tell you that you're still "soooooo tired," you "can't function" unless you sleep some more, etc. You have to tell yourself it's not true. You're not going to pass out if you get up and do something. You'll actually feel better the more you do. I'm almost 2 decades into this and just figuring this out. Mind over matter takes practice. It takes daily positive self-talk and forcing yourself out of it, which is hard.

It really is so hard to force yourself out of it. I just slept over 12 hours, and I did get up to do the shopping and put the groceries away, but now it's time to clean the house and all I'm doing is lying on the couch looking at Reddit. I just feel heavy and tired all over. If I just did the cleaning, I'd really feel much better, so why am I not doing it!? It's so stupid.

You have to force it! I too am on the couch, home with a sick kid. I have a load of laundry waiting to be put away. I'll go do it now, you should too friend!

I did it! Somehow, telling someone else I wasn't doing it caused me to be able to do it? Thanks! Best of luck to you too!

I got lots done too! Internet high five!

This is me, all. the. time. There are so much things I should be doing, like... homework. But instead I'm on Reddit -_-

But you did something good, even it's small. I always have to remind myself of that. Going shopping and putting the groceries away is a huge step! So good job! :)

I can so relate to this!

Hopefully the sleep study I'm going to soon will give me some insight into this. I'm really tired of the mental health route leading exactly nowhere at a blistering pace.

An actual diagnosis would be nice at some point.

Make the 7-9 hours you sleep at night more consistent, fall asleep and wake up at the same time every day if you can help it. Don't eat or look at screens too close before you sleep.

If all else fails, look into getting an exam for sleep apnea.

i think it varies individually, some can get by on 6 hours a night, others may need 8..or even 9. If i dont get at least 7½hrs i feel slightly drunk all day.

Partly that's due to sleep cycles, which almost every alarm ruins, but more recently some apps and watches have a cycle tracker and will modify the alarm time based on when you're at the lightest point.

This sounds like a job for amphetamines!

Amazingly accurate

Well, yes - that's because our ideal sleeping comes in blocks of 90 minutes. 4 hours 30 minutes of sleep is better than 4 hours obviously, but it's also better than 5 hours (less obviously).

As a general rule, REM operates in 90 minute increments, so you should do your best to wake up between them and not during them.

That hits me right in the feels

i've been a little sleepy for the last few months because sometimes I have poor self control and dont go to bed when i should. If i was sleepy like that even with enough sleep i'd kill myself. No doubt. i can handle sadness, not being able to focus, whatever. but sleepiness? Just kill me :Triumph:

fuck. i'm depressed. and i already knew i'm depressed.

This is a good summary of that (How to Maximize Misery by CGP Grey): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

I’m spending my 30th birthday in the office. Your comment is a far too true comment about my life and I’m not sure that I needed to read it today.

Thanks for sharing this though.

Happy Dirty Thirty! Hope you are able to do something enjoyable today. Here's a terrible dirty joke for you:

What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a Peeping Tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch!

🎂

Haha that’s not bad. Thanks a lot!

Sometimes I’ll sleep a solid 11 hours and still wake up tired.

It’s the absolute worst.

Sleeping 11 hours is what makes you tired. You’re sleeping way too much

Thank god for mental problems!!!!

cries in covfefe

It's ok, just do some blow in the morning!

Funny, the blow kept me up in the first place!

nothing like sleeping 10 hours only to wake up feeling like you need another 10

Don't forget the completely erratic sleep schedule 👌

I feel like I'm getting whatever the opposite of therapy is here

drop and give me 10 push ups boys. thats enough depressing bulshit.

25 crunches!

​

10 more push ups!

​

now spend 10 minutes going upward, and downward dog (learn your yoga boi!)

​

finish in warrior pose!!

​

power!!!!

I'm going thru a depression episode rb and oof, ain't that the truth. I've slept 14hrs once and woke up feeling so fucking tired

Depression: forget life, go to bed.

Anxiety: now that you're here in this dark room all alone, let's think about everything you have ever done wrong.

Not only that but you may even have terrible insomnia! So despite your tiredness you won't be able to sleep!

Sont drink coffee/alcohol or smoke in the evening and you will actually sleep better. Also when you wake up drink a cup of water first thing. Its not gonna magically instantly make things awesome but it helps.

Fuck is this why I've been having so many problems with my sleep recently?

Just woke up, am tired. Can confirm.

I'm at the point now where i wake up with headaches after like 5 different nightmares last night. I had one positive dream which was just me seeing a giant rainbow...thats it saw an unbelievable rainbow took a picture and that's it.

And it works out perfectly, because then you can go get more sleep.

And then you can keep sleeping!

I already feel tired reading this

Facilitating more sleep! Woo!

tempted to make more accounts just do uovote this more

the fbi wants to know your location

I feel both seen, and attacked, right now.

Dude i only just started getting enough sleep at night. Used to go to sleep late and wake up tired, sleep during the afternoon, have tea late, go to sleep late, wake up tired, and keep the vicious cycle going. Now i go to bed seven and a half hours before i have to wake up.

Except last night i gave myself eleven hours because i've had a throat infection and i was due in at work early today. I slept for maybe ninety minutes at a time. Woke up at 10pm, 11pm, 12.30 am, 2am, 4am, 6am then finally at 7.15 when my alarm went off.

Went to work

felt like shit.

I 'napped' during my lunch break for FORTY FIVE MINUTES and woke up feeling peachy. :) What a difference a solid sleep does.

I'm in this post and I don't like it

my solution to this problem is to work 60 hours in a week. I'm just dead to the world!

I recently got a CPAP, and that had been life changing. I never realized how much my lack of O2 while I slept affected me the next morning. Now I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed when I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.

Hahaha, I've been asleep for 18 hours, and have no energy.

The pain is excruciating, stop!

Can confirm.

Unless your like me. Be depressed with insomnia.

[deleted]

Keeping my body moving helps a bit but my mind is a bottomless pit of despair.

Best sleep time is between 5am and 3pm.

✋ ^don’t ^leave ^me ^hanging

Eventually your life inverts and you gotta make sure to get at least 6 or 7 hours solid waking hours to combat yawning, moodiness, fatigue and irritability.

Sounds good doesnt work

Sometimes it's the other way around lol sometimes this keeps me up at night. SLPT: use depression to help you sleep or keep you up at night wondering why I'm so sad all the time lol

It's extra shitty cause depression sleep doesn't really rest you

Doesn’t always feel like a good sleep though, you don’t wake up all refreshed and happy, ready to smash the next day, full of energy! It’s deceiving.

Sleep a lot less to get depressed in the first place!

And get more sleep to get more depressed.

Side effects may include:

  • Hating yourself
  • Self harm
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Suicide
  • Lacking the motivation to do anything, including sleep

Unfortunately, due to medical issues and all the meds I’m on, I’ve lost 40 pounds over the last year on the depression diet.

I think I found the weight you lost! It's hanging out with me. :)

Judging by the meds I was prescribed sleep is the cure because you can't be depressed if Sereqeul knocks you tf out. ¯\(ツ)/¯

10-4 good buddy, sleeping in through work today then!

Simple but effective

Or no sleep. There is no in between.

Im depressed so im always sleepy, but when youre an insomniac you dont get that sleep

Unless you have the non-sleeping kind. Which sucks. I imagine the sleeping kind does too, but all I know firsthand is the non-sleeping kind sucks.

Sleepy Life Pro Tip

Sleepy Life Pro Tip

Seems like a good choice ... 🤔

You'd think so, but that's when the anxiety gets you

Still better than being severely sleep deprived and thus being anxious.

TLDS: "Too Long Didn't Sleep"

Or be buzzing with crippling anxiety

^Yaaay depression squad^...

sleep life pro tips?

Depends, mine doesn't let me sleep because I can't stomach starting the next day any sooner through my sleep.

ULPT: give your kids depression so they go to bed early

Sleepy life pro tip

I had three and a half hours of awake time total yestarday due to depression, so yeah I'd say this trick works very well

Or sleep less to be less depressed !

Wait

This doesnt work for me my depression must be broke

It's 2:45 pm and I just woke up.

Just want to go back to bed. :-(

Make sure you remind yourself what a piece of shit you are before you close your eyes, envision a cloud of darkness enveloping your being, the only people who love you are just too stupid to know better. Now pray to a God that you know deep down doesn't exist, but pray anyway that you die in your sleep. Now you have a disappointment for the morning to replenish your anger and depression. It all starts to come naturally after a few years.

That also works for REM sleep. Depressed people have more REM in the same amount of total sleep on average.

Especially if you have the kind of depression that wakes you up 10 or more times a night.

You are not depressed if you are unconscious!

"Hey pssst, guess what, instead of doing something to make your life better, you can take a nice comfy nap"

"I'll take 2 please"

Never understood how people sleep when they're depressed. Tbf I haven't been like clinically depressed but I have been through some shitty times and it's the opposite - I don't sleep well for couple of days until I reach a certain point of exhaustion then I have one night of a lot of sleep and it's back to square one.

For many people one of the big symptoms is fatigue. And with clinical depression it’s been shown that they may not reach the deepest part of sleep or “restful” sleep, and so no matter how much they sleep, they still feel tired.

When it gets really bad for me, I sleep because everything else seems pointless. We just wake up to go to work to come back home to sleep and do it all again the next day, so my brain is like "why not just skip the middle man?"

Cry yourself to sleep everything. Don't even need sleeping pills.

Doctors hate this one trick!

Thanks! I feel the same. Maybe I should switch from a hobby to pro sleeping?

r/2meirl4meirl

Lol! You can’t tell me what I can’t do!

I sometimes have the “sleep for very long and I’m still tired,” but mostly the “can’t sleep, gotta weep (not all the time).” I know that sleep is quite an important part for your mental health, but PDD really doesn’t agree with that and makes the nights particularly difficult, does anyone have any recommendations? Maybe turning off devices is one thing.

I prefer "lucid dream enthusiast"

sleep makes me depressed.

God this is so accurate for me. I’m literally laying down for a nap right now…

Foodies make eating their hobby. It's efficient to make your hobby one of life's basic needs. That's why my hobby is drinking.

🤚 high five! Twinsies!

In context of the first comment, I first read that as Twinkies

I just tried to text someone "thank you" and no shit, auto correct changed it to Twinkies

Haha I did too!

Now I want a damn Twinkie

Mulder has a cat!?

Yup! For like 33 years now

r/waterniggas

My people

What do you mean "my people"?

I think he means those are the kind of persons he would like to be associated with.

I know, I'm just messing about ;)

I just do not understand this sub

It's the way of the road, Bubbs

Be like Ricky and get two birds stoned at once by finding a profitable hobby like growing massive fields of Weed

Ray, ripping the plumbing out of your walls for liquor money is fucked!

Upvoted this real fast

So youre a drinkie right? Lol

My hobby also is drinking. What should we go by? Alkies sounds dope, if you ask me.

That's an ideology I can relate too.

Not when you're broke! It's constant displeasure with your options because you have a bunch of almost food

Hello, spirit animal!

Food scientist checking in. I made it all 3

Is your palate more focused around local microbrews, domestic macrobrews or taking hauls off a bottle of peppermint schnapps alone and yelling at the tv?

My hobby is watching people eat while I sleep

@NickSwardson on Twitter: Saw someone with "my warm up is your work out" shirt. Well, my casual drinking is your alcohol poisoning so fuck you.

That's why my hobby is drinking.

...ray?

/r/trailerparkboys

I'll drink to that, cheers 🍻

Ray?!? I thought you where dead.

BEER TEAM checking in....wait is this the right convention?

That's my hobby. I sleep a lot. With a lot of people.

[deleted]

Regarding all these comments - a sense of humor. Not only does it make your life better, but others' too!

Yeah anybody sleeping with me is definitely going to need a sense of humour

Am I the weirdo for thinking sleep orgies sound way better than actual orgies?

Name checks out “Lazer”

This guy gets it

I really wish someone would cuddle me

ok Michael

​

Some people pay to do that.

A lot of my gay friends do that. They all form a "cuddle puddle" on the couch and watch movies all snuggled up. It's so soothing to have all that physical contact.

So what are you up to tonight?

You mean like pajama parties where you do each others' hair and talk about boys? Count me in!

I sleep 8 hrs a day and then another 10 at night.

I can't believe i'm saying this but I agree with cunt-hooks. Having a hobby, something that you do just for yourself, that you are proud of doing can get you through alot of tough times. Preferably something you can loose yourself in, work out with weights or run long distance, read tough or classic books, work with wood, fix up an old car or dirtbike, get a crucible and start playing with glass blowing, just something that afterwards you feel like you are better for having done.

Lucid dreaming gang

Lucid dreaming is really fun and i would consider it a hobby since you have to cultivate it in order achieve optimal results. I got really good at it and I could fly.

https://www.ld4all.com/guide.html

​

Hahaha, you can't fool me, depression!

Google searches things like "How to sleep better", "Best budget sleeping/bed builds 2019" and "Top 15 podcasts to help sleep better".

That kind of defeats the object, especially if you are getting eight hours a day, that's one third of your life asleep.

Improvise, adapt, overcome

Sweet, already is.

boom narcolepsy

two birds... one stone. gotcha.

I wanna go pro.

That's how you make depression your hobby

If I was to take this literally it would involve eithe doing the Kramer strategy of training myself to sleep every 15 min (that would be a satisfying skill if it is actually a real thing), or keeping a dream journal and teaching myself how to lucid dream

I have. Lucid dreaming is awesome!

Laziness at the peak

Brother, we might be related distantly

You mean r/polyphasic?

I'm succeeding in this

Is it wrong that I have 3 hobbies: Sleep, Food and Reddit?

Are you a project manager?

I think social hobbies are much more rewarding so... Sleeping with people is the way forward

/r/2meirl4meirl is leaking

Now thats efficiency!

Wait no go back

SUmmary of some suggestions:

Stretch in your sleep enjoying your hobby in a frugal way. While spending quality alone time with anticipation of the sunshine hitting your retina to wake you up.

Good luck

Worked for me

just how DID you get that user name u/cunt-hooks? What exactly is that referring to?

I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night. -Bill Hicks

another valuable piece of knowledge from u/cunt-hooks

I can’t find something I like enough to make a hobby out of

Sage advice from cunt-hooks

Lucid dreaming is a hobby

fuckin two birds with one stone

Nice try, Depression.

Specifically a hobby that you can derive Joy from. I really enjoy playing video games, but sitting down and working on a leather project brings me so much satisfaction.

[deleted]

Masturbate on Camera and you've got all 3 in one

Not true. I got kicked out of the bank

Forgot to oil up huh? Rookie shit.

It doesn’t mean directly onto the camera. Those security cameras take a long time to clean. Fair play on climbing up there in the first place though.

dear rich people of reddit,i recommend this guy for 1 silver.

Lol! I almost didn’t post it. Sometimes I think it’s too stupid for public consumption. But it’s my highest rated comment by a mile!

No money for you then

Username, I love it

Library has free internet access. But please be quiet as in no moaning.

Try the sperm bank next time.

If only I was female

You can still make money if you're willing to preform for a male audience. Vagina not needed

Instructions unclear, camera now covered in semen.

now hold on just a minute

This is incredible advice.

Don’t watch black mirror then.

Iirc, that was because he was watching CP

Laughed till tears rolled out, after years

Not true, the currency doesn't favor US cammers. Now if you were in Russia, or Brazil, it would be yuuuugely beneficial to be paid out in American Dollars.

-source- Someone who spent $700 on cam girls then went reading on why there's so many women from Colombia and Belarus.

still can't understood how this can bring happiness

How does masturbating make you healthy

If you're a dude, it reduces your chance of prostate cancer. Playing with your PP could save your life.

It's true, lol. My ex had a prostate infection and went to the doc. Doc told him to have as many orgasms as he could. Knowing id never believe him, the doc actually sent him home with an order for it because I'm a nurse, lol. I had no choice but to follow doc orders, lol

Well it can

Reduce stress

Release tension

Enhance sleep quality.

Boost concentration

Elevate mood.

Relieve menstrual cramps.

alleviate pain.

Release Dopamine

Reduce chances of Prostate Cancer

I'm particular fond on the "Boost Concentration" perk, especially when I'm struggling to concentrate on some boring lecture.

You masturbate in a lecture? Power move.

[deleted]

Relevant username

Your life is about to change, my friend.

Nah. Fuck side-hustle culture and the insistence that we have to monetize our entire lives (or most of them) or we’re doing it wrong. The first and second thing, though, yes.

I sub the second thing for "one that creates something." You don't have to sell the thing, but there's a tangible result that you can see and touch and feel accomplished about. Hobbies are about you.

Fuck side hustles though, for sure.

[deleted]

Oh my lord. Husband and I brought a wooden test-tube rack into the world, but despite both of our skills, that thing had a very difficult labor. He forgot to wipe the wood glue, so I had to sand it off with the Dremel because it's so small, and that was... interesting. It actually looks half-decent, now, but I had to keep this quote in mind: "perfect is the enemy of good."

(Sorry this is kind of a blog post, but I'm excited about it, and don't really have any friends who are into woodworking.)

Card scrapers are very good for getting into small spaces like that

herbalism too

I either take skinning or alchemy with it.

True. For “fun” I’ve made a couple of costuming props over the years.

My favorite summer was still the one I started.

Learned how to (in no particular order) solder, spray paint, use a glue gun, sand, deal with arduinos, and some very rudimentary leather-work.

Turned a nerf gun into a light-up steampunk pistol, and then made a magnetic holster with a safety strap. Really need to rework that for a v2 at some point, but it was so cool to have an idea actually take form and move to the “real world”

This is one of the many reasons I began baking. Making a GOOD cake that looks good and tastes good and is decorated well takes some extreme skill

It's all garbage anyways .

Personally, I’ve found treating the hobby as if you’re going to make money can drive a better result (and greater satisfaction).

Again, perhaps it’s just me, but refinishing furniture (for example) goes much much better with the thought of “I might sell this one day” as I don’t get lazy midway and cut corners.

I also haven’t sold or attempted to sell any of my work, as that’s the most annoying part, but the quality and durability of my work has gone up in spades.

It's fine to make money from it if that's what you want to do. I just don't think it's healthy to only do things that are intended to make money.

It's more like an imaginary benchmark that I use. It keeps me from half-assing my projects and forces me to be more focused and deliberate.

Then that's a positive driver for you, and that's great! It doesn't work for everybody; for me, focusing too much on what other people will think about something I'm working on makes it feel like it's not worth it to even try because I know I'm not good enough for that yet. I need a lot of "just for me" practice before I'm ready to give a damn what anybody else thinks!

I think this is a highly personal thing. For example, I like writing. I have written a book for me and me alone, and never intend to publish it. It took me only a few months to write, was a huge stress reliever, and was a ton of fun.

I've been trying to write another with the intention of publishing it. It's been three years, and I have rewritten it twice and it's no where close to even being edited, let alone published. The idea that others will see it and that I will have to make money off it has sucked away every ounce of motivation and joy out of it. It's not fun anymore, and instead of being a stress reliever it has turned into a huge source of stress and shame for me.

Agreed! I have a goal of making one creative thing a day. A new meal, poetry, a new tea combination, etc. Sometimes I don’t meet that goal but that’s okay. It had thoroughly improved my life in so many small ways.

That's why I make candles, its relaxing, I can use them for a purpose, and reuse the leftovers, and just keep making candles. I give them to friends, and I'll bring some to music festivals and maybe sell them or trade them, or give them away.

I like this.

I had heard the recommendation to "have a side-hustle" before (many times) but I always ignored it. I make a good living, I don't need to do shit for money outside of my regular job.

I think, when I see that advice given, I'm going to give yours, just as a different way to look at life.

I mean, if you need money, sure, side-hustle. But, making something, even if you don't sell it, can give great satisfaction.

Plus, if you make money from it, and that's why you're doing it, it seems to me that it's no longer a hobby; it's just a second job.

For example, my wife knits. She mostly makes gifts for people or blankets and stuff to donate to the church auction. Occasionally, she has people ask if she does commissions. Usually, she politely declines, but, occasionally, someone has wanted something that will cause her to have to learn and practice a new skill (cable-knitting, making socks, etc.) and she'll take the money. If she started actively seeking commissions and only working on projects she's getting paid for, that's just a job, and she probably wouldn't have fun doing it anymore.

I think people are missing the point of this.

It’s not that you need a hobby to make you money. It’s not saying start a side-hustle.

It’s that having a hobby that CAN make you money will provide security for unexpected life events and is something you could always fall back on in a time of need.

That, and there’s something deeply satisfying about making a product others would be willing to pay for, even if you never intend to sell it. There is no higher praise than someone offering to exchange their hard earned wages for something you made with your bare hands.

It’s also very gratifying to be able to create things you can gift to others, and depending on the cost of materials and quality of your work, it will you money as well!

LEGO! I'm certainly not going to make money off it (quite the opposite, some sets are crazy expensive!) but I enjoy creating and displaying them. Next up - the Saturn V rocket!

I just have Magic the Gathering as a hobby where the stuff generally accumulates worth over time. So if you're smart about what and when you buy stuff, then you can actually make money off it. But I just use it for my own means and take it as a chance to trade for other cards that I need. It pretty much all stays within the hobby, but shifts around a bit here and there

I always kind of took it as like hopefully you're one of the lucky people who find a career you genuinely enjoy to the point where its a hobby you're getting paid to do.

I'm honestly pretty sure there's no such thing. You might enjoy your job, but it's still a job and you're still going to dread it sometimes. You shouldn't dread a hobby.

Fishing and boating are hobbies of mine, and I still dread the spring prep work to get the boat in the water and I feel the same about the fall winterization after the haul out.

I would agree with you on the side hustles if I hadn’t just looked into some side hustles recently. I am trying to provide a particular quality of life for myself and my family which just working day to day can’t provide (currently anyway).

Not to say it can’t be done at some point but if that side hustle can turn into my full time hustle at some stage it would allow me more time with my family so I see it as worth it.

my side hustle currently doesn’t take me away from my family but is additional work. I guess I’m just over working for someone else in an industry I don’t hate...but I don’t love either

what if running a side hustle is the hobby? and the objective isnt proft but just being part of a little quaint business selling cute jars at farmers markets?

I'm not here to tell you what is or isn't a hobby or fun for you. I just don't think making money off a hobby is something everybody needs to prioritize!

I agree with you to an extent, but what if the hobby is video games? Than the thing your should strive for is getting good. You can feel good about getting good.

There are people who think videogames are a hobby if they just play a bunch of different games. Nope.

What? Why isn't that a hobby?

Yeah, it's still a hobby even if you're terrible and don't get better. Like the guy above said about side-hustle culture, I'm kind of tired of the idea that every waking moment of a person's life should be a struggle toward improvement. Hobbies are, by definition, leisure time.

Like the guy above said about side-hustle culture, I'm kind of tired of the idea that every waking moment of a person's life should be a struggle toward improvement.

Sorry, what?

that's not what he said at ALL. He was railing against the idea that people to "monetize our entire lives or we're doing it wrong", which is indeed a very difficult and psychologically unhealthy way to go about your existence.

Improvement, on the other hand, personal and otherwise, is very much something you should always struggle for. Enjoying leisure time can also improve you, if it is done with an eye to what is engaging and good for your mind and body - for example, OP mentioned video games - there is an enourmous difference between spending your leisure time playing some engaging 4x grand strategy video game or maybe socializing with friends in a multiplayer game, versus spending it doing something like getting drunk alone at home or feeding an opiate addiction. one of those things will improve some meaningful aspect of you, the other will not.

self-improvement is the one thing you should always strive for, because it makes you (and by extension, your life) better. trying to monetize your whole life with side hustles is an entirely different thing altogether, and certainly does not necessarily constitute improvement.

I agree with you 100%. Echo chamber hoorah!

The schooling system in America creates the illusion that once you complete college, you're done in the learning department.

This could not be further from the truth. Life is nothing but a thing where you are continuously learning new things, because frankly, technology and industry is marching on, adopting new strategies and methods, and if you don't attempt to stay current you are going to be left behind.

There is already a monumental amount of information to learn at our current stage. A mind numbingly massive amount. And I know there are many people out there content with just lounging around all day watching TV or drooling over shitty videogames. The guy you responded to wanted to justify a lifestyle that has no self-improvement.

The guy you responded to could very well be a high school age person, or a college age person who is simply overwhelmed by the amount of shit out there to learn. A person in this age bracket simply must spend time watching TV or playing dumb videogames to remain sane, because the fact of the matter is that school just piles on the useless shit and takes up all of your productive time.

But once you graduate and get a job, you should definately spend a significant chunk of free time with an eye to the future.

What ever you think of it is irrelevant. At the end of the day, you need to have something to show for the time you spent. Why do you think people graon when they hear the numbers about how much time they will spend sitting at red lights through out their life? Or how much time they spend watching TV, or reading books? Or sleeping? It's because these are activities that do not generate anything to show for them.

Like it or not, these are the facts. Yes they are uncomfortable, but you can't disagree with them. You just can't.

If play a bunch of different video games, you're going to have nothing to show for it.

...so? I have my enjoyment and downtime. That's necessary and sufficient.

It's not a hobby because you are just getting entertained. Being entertained is not a hobby. You may as well consider TV a hobby if that's the case.

I do consider TV a hobby. What do you think a hobby is? Definitions may vary but here are some: "an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure." , " a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation", " an activity that someone does for pleasure when they are not working: "

That's why you have the three. Video games are perfectly fine as one hobby, but you can have another one where you create something. My hobbies are reading and baking. One I take advantage of what others make, and the other I make things myself.

Yeah, I’ve found if I try to make my hobby something I can make money off of, I suddenly stop enjoying it. If I’m gonna do that, I’d rather just put in a few more hours at work.

[deleted]

I do yoga. I love it, I’ve practiced regularly for 10 years, and it brings me so much joy. I can use it to destress, or to challenge my strength and get a sense of accomplishment from mastering s new pose. I teach as a substitute at my gym. More often than not, my practice is my own, but I make a little extra here and there and get to share what I like about it with others. It’s a win win.

If I'm gonna do that, I'd rather just put in a few more hours at work.

That's a really good way to look at it. I'd make more if I put that time into extra hours at work instead of a side-hustle/monetized hobby.

Easy enough if you're not on salary.

I always took the point of this to be make one of your hobbies your job/career. It is your work not outside of it. Take pride in what you do for a living and consider it a hobby that you are trying to better yourself at. Then have your hobby that keeps you in shape, and the one that brings you Joy.

Yup. That's why I stopped selling the coffeetables I make in my woodworking shop. I have 71 coffeetables and no money, but I'm happy.

Well, if it’s art, and you don’t set yourself deadlines, I think you can get a lot of satisfaction by monetizing a hobby.

Yeah ... until/unless your work cuts/restricts OT. Sigh.

I mean it doesn't have to be a side hustle. You can just take on projects at work that are your favorite.

I work at a wildlife rehabilitation center. A lot of my job is poop, spreadsheets, and dealing with the public. But I love hiking so I suggested wildflower hikes to make money for our nonprofit. Now I lead scorpion night hikes, wildflower hikes, birding hikes and a wetlands hike. It absolutely doesn't feel like work. It is definitely fun and tickles my hiking itch.

One of my hobbies coincidentally turned into something I get paid for (sportswriting). If anything, the change brought me more joy: as an editor, I get to organize people and content, and I love that aspect of the work. It's also a thrill to write breaking news and see my own byline show up on Google News and Bleacher Report.

Yeah it's crazy how overly prevalent that sentiment is now. My wife works in a field that a lot of people do as a hobby. It's crazy how many people think it's just easy to make some money off it on etsy or something and pressure otgers to sell their stuff. She's always telling hobbyists it's okay to just make it for fun.

It's never as easy to turn it into a 'business' as people think and involves a lot of other work. It's sad hearing people talk about how they liked making things, and then started trying to sell stuff and gave up the hobby entirely afterwards.

As much as I agree with you, the "hobby that makes you money" could also be as simple as break-even with the materials. Like, if you like crocheting or leather-work and people want you to make something for them, just ask for the material cost, best of both worlds.

This is true, and a point I hadn’t considered.

A hobby that can save you money (or at least break even) is a good substitute then. For example, cooking, working on cars etc

This is true! I cook a lot. I love the process, getting delicious results, and saving money.

Agreed. How about people get paid fairly so we don't have to spend our free time trying to hustle extra cash.

While I agree with the mentality concerning the side hustle thing, it presents it's own difficulties. I disagree with the entire economic system that mandates that I sell my labor and effectively my body for a rate that I have very little ability to personally negotiate. My deepest instinct is to point both of my middle fingers at that system and everyone that keeps it going but I do feel like my gesture is rather trite and worthless if I am being crushed by that system at the same time. I find it's better to side hustle my ass off because it allows me more and better choices in my short, mid, and long term future. As long as I can keep my metaphorical back off the wall financially speaking, it's much harder for anyone else to exert control over me without my consent (eg if I am being treated poorly by my boss I can leave freely without my financial future being up in the air).

I'll always take the work I choose to do to pay my bills over the work I'm forced to do to pay my bills.

My understanding of the quote is that the 3 hobbies are all you do in a day/ week. So that second one is your job, but also something you enjoy. The other two keep you happy and healthy as well. Just my way of reading it

I made my side hustle a business and I thoroughly enjoy it, but actually doing it made me realize how bad the advice is that says every hobby should be a side hustle or else you're effing it up. Sometimes, doing something for relaxation, fun, self-fulfillment, etc. is that thing's purpose in your life.

I can only speak for the U.S., but we tend to have this expectation in our society that success means becoming wealthy doing the one thing we are extremely passionate about and were born to do. Not only is it ok to keep your hobbies and your revenue streams separate, but you can still be incredibly successful at doing so.

interpret it as making money from your hobby, not for profit, but to help fund your other hobbies.

Ya for sure. I love photography. It somehow got into my head that I should be monetizing it. I started selling prints and doing some paid gigs. It started to suck the joy out of what I personally enjoyed most about photography. Which was getting out in nature, taking my time, and creating art for myself.

I’ve eased back on that and I’m enjoying the hobby at my own pace and it is fun again.

I'm so happy someone said this. I refuse to be obsessed with money. I already work for money. Forty hours a weeks doing something for money. That's enough. I like my hobbies to be useless, the more useless the better.

It doesn't have to be a side hustle. My friend's hobby his entire life has been planes and now he's a career pilot and mostly loves his job.

Yeah, so it's not his hobby anymore.

How did you manage to frame someone turning something they love into a money-making opportunity as a negative?

Cos even the best job in the world has negatives and bullshit, and turning your hobby into your job means you're down a hobby you might have otherwise used to relax from work, so you'll need to find something to fill that gap now. Might be a better career and a net plus in general but you're still sacrificing your hobby to make it your job

I didn't. Any activity can either be a hobby or a job, but not both. A hobby is something you can walk away from at any time without obligations. That fact alone is neither positive nor negative in my opinion.

I thought the money-making hobby was supposed to be your job.

Culture actually leans towards the opposite, just look at all the people whose hobby it is to drink or play video games that are filled with micro transactions, for most people a hobby is a slow drain on resources. Only truly efficient people have hobbies and finances that align.

Can we have an anti-sidehustle subreddit?

Yes.

I have a fun hobby that I made a job for a while. Honestly, I made a great chunk of change each month. But, it was killing the hobby for me.

So, I stop the business. Sold off all the extra stuff I invested in to get the business booming. And, I saved the hobby.

But every friend told me I was stupid and need to keep going. Offered to help for 30% of the funds.... My regular income is much higher than average. I'm not hurting for money and neither were these folks.

Greed is so freaking strong in people. They really believed making an extra $2,000 a month was worth ruining my hobby...

Hobbies are hard as fuck to come by. Especially ones that last. Don't ever ruin a hobby just for a few extra bucks. If it's going to make you a millionaire, ok go ahead. You will buy a new one. But, if it's too much work to ever become big scale or turn a major profit, it's not worth it.

I understood that to mean work a job that you would enjoy doing.

For most people, that’s a pipe dream. I certainly don’t hate my job, but if I wasn’t getting paid, I wouldn’t spend a second there.

Most people in life don't like their works. If you are in the minority and land a good job doing what you love, good for you. Otherwise, just separate your job and your life, find something you can tolerate and pays good, then use that money to find other hobbies you can enjoy.

Yea I think side-hustle culture has become such a thing because it's getting so hard to find jobs that pay well enough to support yourself/your family and also be able to afford things like a house, car, retirement plan, and hell, even a savings account. People starting monetizing their hobbies out of necessity, and of course then the prevailing thought turns into that you need to have multiple sources of income if you want a decent life in this country.

I mean, I play music as a hobby and in my younger years I played in a few different bands. And yes, when we actually made a little bit of money from playing a show or selling some merch it was fantastic (even though that money almost always went right back into things for the band), but ultimately, I did it because I thoroughly enjoyed it. I knew the chances of me making it big as a musician and actually making an income off of it were slim but I did it because I liked it.

I think you’re missing that the “hobby that makes money” is supposed to turn into your job. Like if your hobbies are programming, painting, and pole dancing. Then get a job programming, do art for the pure enjoyment, and pole dance to stay in shape.

I agree fuck side hustles, your main hustle should be something you enjoy.

The only snag is that not everyone will find a hobby that they can monetize or will be particularly passionate about their line of work.

Also that doing something as a job can make it go from something you love to something you resent very easily, especially if it's difficult and/or stressful to monetize.

I think the ‘one that makes you money’ is a roundabout about way of saying: do a job that you love. Or at least, that’s how I interpret it.

That makes more sense. But I think even this sentiment sets up many people for dissatisfaction and for feelings of failure if it doesn’t happen. There are only so many enjoyable jobs, and only so much demand for the ones that don’t exist, and unenjoyable work is frankly necessary for our society to function.

Not to mention promotions. Staying in a job you love for too long is seen as stagnating. I have a job I love as a software developer and the only way up to to become management, which sounds like hell on earth to me.

Yeah I totally agree - it’s definitely the hardest to achieve on that list! And even the most enjoyable jobs can be horrible at times

Side hustle culture is a symptom of the aching, slow death of our society. It just proves our socioeconomic system can blatantly encourage you to monetize every waking minute just to stay afloat, as though it’s a fun game and not an unacceptable side effect of a deeply inequitable system.

I think they might have meant a job, as in love your job so much that it's like it's a hobby.

At least, that's what comes to mind.

I read it as try to make your hobby a job.

I think it depends on what the side hustle is. I have friends who enjoy working on cars, and they make a good deal of money doing it on weekends. I've played hockey my whole life, now I ref games as well as play, and I love it.

You’re missing the point of this.

It’s not that you need a hobby to make you money. It’s not saying start a side-hustle.

It’s that having a hobby that CAN make you money will provide security for unexpected life events and is something you could always fall back on in a time of need.

Eh, I actually enjoy the side hustle. I make the things and I enjoy doing that, I sell the things and I enjoy doing that too. There is a bit of fun to barking and selling things at shows.

​

Your mileage may vary of course.

It shouldn’t be but in this economy living off a single income isn’t always easy.

Making money is my hobby lol

I’ve always taken that saying to mean like what you do for work, not that it’s an extra thing.

Psst. It just means do something you love as your job.

You’re, like, person 500 to point this out.

I could kill two of those with one hobby. I like photography, it brings me joy and I use my skills to charge people for photos. I use that money to invest in better gear/accessories/saving.

​

For health I just lift weights and do Brazilian jiu jitsu.

I think that was just a way of saying "get a job that you like".

I thought there second one was a synonym for your job. As in that old quote about find a job you love and you'll never work another day in your life

Best comment right here.

If you need a side hustle your broke ass should probably level down into a cheaper apartment.

Ahh. The cliche, dimwitted, city-dwelling, smogsucker has arrived to tell people to "level down" into a "cheaper apartment". May the global flood come soon

I'd say there's a high correlation between overstretched means and people feeling they should "maybe try uber for a couple weeks".

smogsucker

this is glorious

Thanks. Never been as disgusted as I was driving into NYC and LA and seeing that smog from a distance. Not being able to see the mountains nearby from inside the city because somehow theres enough smog to grey it out into fuzzy jagged shapes

That’s a strangely myopic, specific comment. Maybe you should consider a little empathy and perspective before responding like an asshole to a purely hypothetical “broke” person.

I know lots of broke people, and they have consistencies across them.

I enjoy the reward of earning extra cash. That’s how I treat the stock market. I’m always happy with an extra 30-50 grand a year

My dude, 30-50k extra a year is a little more than extra cash from a hobby.

That's a full on 2nd career netting in a decent full 2nd salary.

It’s about 35% of my take home, but I’m super thankful. And admittedly I got lucky with some options contracts. But it’s something to continuously study and learn so I highly encourage everyone to look into investing. It’s the greatest vehicle for wealth growth that exists.

I know some older folks who have some serious money to throw around after working 30 years. I know someone who made 300k off of Amazon, buying in when it was 1600 a share and riding it to when it was 2100. Absolutely insane

Who has time for all that? Whoever convinced us that we need to fill every waking moment with some sort of side-hustle money grab should be kicked in the shin.

Yeah, this shit can fuck right off. The obsession with always making more money that’s so prevalent in so many cultures is toxic and destructive, to ourselves, our relationships and to our environment.

I have a main job and a side hustle, which is art based and I hope to make it my main job after paying my dues a little longer.

That said, I don't recommend it. You're essentially working 80 hours a week, and it's hard to keep long term stable relationships.

Still though, fuck all that, I'd choose making my projects a reality over pretty much anything else on this planet.

I’m glad you can make a living doing something you enjoy, even if that changes it a bit :)

My experience != your experience

It bothers me when people say "everyone should..." Just because something works for you, doesn't mean it's going to work the same for everyone.

Capitalism

Who has time for all that?

Indeed. Who has time for this? If you spend eight hours at work, an hour and a half commuting and you want to sleep eight bloody hours like everyone should, you've got 6.5 hours left every day. Now, factor in getting ready for work, preparing and eating breakfast and dinner, showering, tidying up/cleaning, buying groceries, etc., realistically, who the fuck has time to nurture three different hobbies? Hell, the odd week I manage to drag my ass to the gym more than three times, I feel like Wonder Woman.

Alternatively, a lot of people spend tons of time in jobs that are unfulfilling or even harmful to their health, and invest time in hobbies that they can develop to eventually replace or supplement the income from the job they feel stuck in.

It doesn't have to be a "side-hustle money grab." Developing a skill to such a level that it could conceivably be lucrative seems practical and rewarding, granted, as you mentioned, if you have the time. I do imagine that many people, especially unmarried/childfree folks, have more flexibility to budget time for things like this than they realize. Not everyone, naturally.

Edit: for clarification, I also understand that that the "everyone is a potential entrepreneur" concept is very American and not a possible reality for everyone. Also, that there are other career paths/options for people who are stuck in disagreeable jobs. But I certainly wouldn't want to discourage honest, thoughtful pursuit of a secondary hobby/career either, as I've had friends whose lives were greatly improved after taking a risk on their "side hustle."

It's all part of the work culture. I also find it really weird if I take a few extra days off for vacation when I don't really need to, how people get really concerned about the money I'm missing out on. Or I'll see people take on extra part time jobs, and stretch themselves thin, to the point that they don't even have hobbies anymore, and be told how great it is that they've found more side income.

Hit in the ankle with a scooter*

It means that you should enjoy your job. You don't have to have a money-making hobby next to that.

I think it means your hobby, as in that hobby turns into your job.

Like I like computers, that's my job hobby

Nah man that’s just today’s lazy culture. Back in the day we used to work from sun up to sundown. Get 60 hours a week. But now we’re lazy. I rather get 50 hours a week. And go home and do nothing for a few hours and go to sleep

wtf

What? Kids today don’t wanna work. I mean if it’s daylight outside why not be working?

Are you a troll? Why not be working if it's daylight outside? Because I didn't come to this world to make someone else money. Get a fucking life.

Seems like to me you are the troll. Get a life? Sounds like to me I have the life. What do you do for a living? If you don’t work for someone? Even if you didn’t you would still be working for yourself. Making yourself money. The more hours you work. The more money you make. It’s very simple. I don’t understand why you are so angry.

Sounds like to me I have the life.

A shit life, by the sound of it.

What do you do for a living? If you don’t work for someone?

Not your business and I didn't say I don't work for someone else. I said I didn't come to this world to work for someone. See? If you weren't working so much, you could work on your reading comprehension. A hobby.

The more hours you work. The more money you make. It’s very simple.

Not everybody is -or wants to be- as obsessed with money as you sound. It's very simple.

You didn’t come to this world to work for someone else? But you still work for someone else? I bet you don’t like that at all do you? I completely understand not wanting to work a lot if you were to hate your job.

Your reply did make me smile tho. It was kind of funny. I’ll give you that.

But maybe your reading comprehension isn’t as good as you think it is. Because in my original post I said I didn’t work as much as we used too. And like to have a bit of free time. I think you may have missed that part.

But no, my life is as good as I could have ever hoped it could be. I’m doing very well. Beyond Blessed.

in my original post I said I didn’t work as much as we used too. And like to have a bit of free time. I think you may have missed that part.

You immediately contradicted that by saying

if it’s daylight outside why not be working

Well, because I’ve gotten lazy.

There are uncountable reasons to not work every waking hour that have nothing to do with laziness.

Probably the biggest being that you'll actually be more productive in your work if you actually take time off.

Yeah you know back in my day I worked 1000 hours a week for $0.25 and walked uphill both ways in a blizzard, I’m so tough!

Get over yourself

What? Get over myself? How do you get that from what I said? Are you offended that some people work long hours? That would be a weird thing to be offended by.

Some people work long hours. But here you are bitching on reddit so you clearly don’t.

I got 50 hours last week. But today I’m helping my old man fix up one of his rental properties. But yeah. I routinely get more than 40.

But I don’t do a whole lot of the whole get up before dark get home after dark anymore.

Now those Mexican boys. They’ll work all day long. I’m sure they get 12 hour days everyday. And most weekends.

Because I got a college degree and a good job so that I didn't have to work manual fucking labor for 12 hours a day.

That’s wonderful. Why are you so bitter about this subject? I know plenty of people who work more than 40 hours who don’t do manual labor.

I'm the bitter one? Sounds like you're bitter that you have to work 60 hours a week and feel the need to call everyone else lazy to feel better about yourself. Enjoy being being an asshole.

Ugh. Look. I don’t know how many times I’ve already said this. I don’t work like that often anymore. But regardless I really enjoy working. I don’t have to work long hours. But I like to work. And like making money.

You are the one calling people names and getting upset. I think it’s no secret kids today are lazy. Don’t get so offended by everything.

You're the one calling literally every single person on the planet lazy if they don't work from sun up to sun down.

But no, you're not name calling.

I did?

Yes?

Well then, I apologize. That wasn’t my intention

So just go to the gym, get a job, and have a hobby?

You can replace the gym with swimming, or hiking, or climbing, or cycling.

hiking, or climbing, or cycling.

cries in Floridian

I know we can cycle. cycling long straight roads is as boring as driving through midwest farmland.

Why do I need to make money from a hobby? I make more then enough in my main job.

Exactly, and I feel that if I was trying to make money off my hobby it would no longer be relaxing and enjoyable.

I feel like this post is saying that whatever you do for money, including your career, should feel like a hobby

Well done, you said it better than I could

Uhh, I think it means do something you enjoy as "a job"

I feel like one that brings you joy and one that keeps you healthy (aka gaming and fitness for example) is sufficient tho

Agreed, after a day of work I'm booting up the playstation or going for run/swim/bike/to the gym to unwind.

Eh, not sure if getting into a hobby for the money is the right approach. You have to enjoy it first, otherwise it's just a job.

I have a habit of turning habits I enjoy into ways of making extra money and then it inevitably feels like a job rather than a hobby and takes all the fun out of it.

Where do people find the time for three hobbies? I’m struggling with one.

Damn. Being a professional athlete must be ideal, then.

Athletes get hurt way more than I do. Are they really healthier than me?

Depends on the sport. I’d venture to say a professional swimmer or something would be pretty damn healthy without much injury risk

Having a money-making hobby sounds kind of unhobbyish, but if it’s one you enjoy, it can be great. I began bartending one shift each weekend to supplement my income, and I loved it.

My day job was in the nonprofit sector, making very little money, so the bartending helped with that, and it put me in a totally different mindset, too. Working with the homeless during the day, and in a very Christian cultural context, mind you, and then slinging drinks at a gay dive bar on the weekend was an awesome balance.

Now I work in a different field altogether and don’t need to bartend, but I still pick up shifts sometimes, and I can always do some home bartending at get-togethers. It’s a money-hobby that translates well into a just-for-fun hobby.

That's why I play drums. It does the first two, and if I get really good and decide to play session stuff, it might actually make me some money.

"Thank u, hobby"

This is a great one! Thank you for sharing it for those of us who missed the original post. I wrote down part of your comment as a reminder to do these hobbies more often.

Mine are in order carpentry, electrical work, and running.

The money part makes sense, but is very difficult. Here is another version I quite like as well:

  1. Physical (sports, rock climbing, martial arts, swimming, weight lifting etc).
  2. Creative (drawing, painting, music, sculpting etc.)
  3. Mental (reading great literature, history, coding, learning a new language, chess etc.)

I've gotta agree with all the other naysayers here. This is weird advice.

Most people already work full time jobs for their money. Getting a side-hustle on top of that is probably not necessary or useful to most people. Money is great, yes, but having more isn't always that helpful. At some point you need to just make do with what you have.

Most people also already care for their own health. I'd hardly consider weekly exercise plans, or a reasonably nutritious diet, to be a "hobby." If you already eat alright and mind your fitness, then what health does a hobby offer on top of that? And seriously, who would consider "eating right" to be a hobby? Eating right is just something you should be doing as a responsible adult.

And then one hobby that brings you joy? Why would you have any hobby EXCEPT a hobby that brings you joy? And why limit it to only one?

Even better do all 3 in the one activity

Aparently i have read this different than everyone else commenting here. I always thought the "find a hobby that makes you money" part meant: find what you enjoy doing and turn that into a job/career, not a side hustle.

It’s not a hobby if you do it as a job/career. At that point, it’s a job or your career. A hobby is, by most definitions, something that DOESNT bring you income and usually COSTS money. When you start profiting on your hobby, it’s now a job

https://preview.redd.it/29o31gytz9m21.jpg?utm_source=reddit-android&auto=webp&s=ab1b81626d4a58458477705d899794e9dbffc251 the post you speak of :)

I believe it was not nessicarily a hobby but that the job you do that earns money be something that you love. Not your "side hustle" as many posters have mentioned.

I've always thought you should have one hobby that's consumptive (reading, video games, movies, etc), one that's creative (crafting, writing, playing an instrument, drawing, etc) and one that keeps you healthy, and they should all bring you joy or fulfillment

Hopefully all your hobbies bring you joy, but I’d add that one of them should be challenging for you and require you to improve and progress your skills

Sweet I got all those covered and more.

Does anyone have any tips for hobbies that can be monetized?

I did 3d printing for people as a side income until i made back the cost of the printer, then I just went full hobby.

Building websites and apps, for example.

I feel like the market for a freelance web designer would be incredibly competitive. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like for average Joe who works 9-to-5, for him to learn website coding, start getting proficient, actually make usable websites, and then to be skilled enough to be competitive and get hired . . . you'd be looking at 2-3 years minimum.

Maybe I'm wrong, but that sounds more of a career investment for a job change down the road, rather than a side hobby.

That sounds about right. I’ve got two friends who’ve taken up coding and web design in addition to their day jobs. It has taken them about 2 years to get good enough to start attempting to find work, doing about 10 hours a week.

I make police car skins for Gta 5 on my pc, and share them online. It's fun to see when people leave a positive comment 😁

a hobby that you can derive Joy from

You should try calculus, my friend

True. I like to bake sourdough bread. I always make two loaves so I can gift one to someone. It givese the good feeling of doing something nice for someone and I get to eat fresh sourdough bread.

If you gift me sourdough I will gift you bourbon barrel aged mead

Here's another tip you won't hear often: it's almost always a bad idea to try to make money from your hobby.

PREACH! Gardening is my go-to after I've wasted most of my weekend on video games. The best part is I get to neglect my plants the same way I neglect myself and so their suffering is a barometer that tells me when I need to step my game up. I went to the beach for an hour this past weekend and the vitamin D really helped a lot.

Yes bondage brings me great satisfaction as well

Agree but sit down and play videogames is so much easier

Sounds like you should play Dark Souls. XD

I did play that but don’t you agree playing a video game is so low effort whilst trying to be productive feels much more rewarding afterwards the only issue usually is starting with the thing you want to do. For reference, I understood that you made a joke.

The way I’ve heard it described is that happiness comes in two forms; either pleasure or fulfillment. Many people are unhappy because their “hobbies” are things like playing video games, smoking weed, or partying. It’s not that these things aren’t fun or good sometimes, but if they’re all you do to fill your spare time, then you will lack fulfillment and end up depressed when you aren’t doing those things, because not only have you spent time doing those things, but you also have nothing to show for it, making you worse off then before

This is why I say video games should always be a secondary hobby.
I play games every day, but I do other stuff too. Every time I've seen someone go home and play video games all night without anything else happening, it ends really poorly when they realize they haven't actually done anything in all that time.
Now maybe depression is what draws them to that lifestyle, I've been there, but it certainly doesn't help. I've seen it absolutely crush a person when the realization hits and it usually ends with nothing changing. Depressed because all you're good at is video games and you continue to play video games because you're depressed. It's a cycle where a lack of motivation to change leaves you stuck for years.
Like you said, it's obviously not limited to video games, but that's just the one I've seen the most firsthand.

Is it bad that my first thought was mathematics? Maths can be a really fun hobby and you can derive lots of things from it! Hah hah hah

That's very cool.

Do like the sense of accomplishment from doing something physical.

I’ve liked drinking beer so I’ve made rare craft beer one of my hobbies. Going to releases, trading across the country, etc. My friends are blown away by how much it seems like I spend, but it’s more like playing the supply and demand game.

Have you ever thought about trying to brew mead? I highly recommend it.

Not really. There are enough good meaderies within driving distance of me

Same! Well same ish. I love games but they're an escape and don't truly help with healing. My plants though, those actually help. Really anything that makes you feel you're accomplishing something

I'm the same with video games. But I also have gotten into the commander format for Magic the Gathering. It gets me out of the house other than work and it gives both my gf and I time to ourselves. It's great for any relationship to have separate hobbies.

I suggest "Friends" marathons.

I think more than Joy it’s about having a challenge. I feel better after practicing guitar or throwing clay. Both are a challenge for my brain & my hands.

I have recently realized that I need a few kinds of video games in my life. I love competitive shooters, but they aren't always relaxing. I've been playing divinity 2 recently with my best friend for an hour or so after the kids are asleep and we are having a blast. It doesn't scratch the competitive itch, but sometimes you just need to find a new game that isn't stressful.

To add to this, don't be afraid of dropping a hobby or picking an old one back up, I recently got back into Magic: The Gathering after dropping it about 10 years ago, and have been having a ton of fun collecting the new cards and building/playing decks and drafting at my local game store. Also has helped me get out and meet new people who share my interest.

But who is Joy and how do we derive her?

My SO is one of those people who have never really had a hobby. Ive tried to introduce her to potential ones but she never shows any interest in them.

Unfortunately I have realized that you can't really introduce someone to a hobby, they must find it themselves. I tried for years with my first gf only to have her lack interest in all of them. Give her time and she will find one, all she has to do is look.

I was like that. Ended up going back and re-discovering what I used to enjoy before phones & internet "took over". Now I enjoy reading, bullet journaling, gardening, yoga and next week, I'm getting back into horseback riding!

Sometimes people get into sort of a funk (could be mental health related), and it could help to try going back to what they used to enjoy. That can take some time though.

Hike. Hiking is the best hobby out there IMO. Cheap as fuck, get outdoors and get exercise.

To elaborate, you want to find something where you "create" as opposed to "consume". Excess consumption (watching Netflix, playing games, etc) brings fleeting satisfaction. However, mindful consumption can inspire your creations, by being exposed to new ideas and knowledge.

Creating something where you actively strive to have a focused effort to improve and have self-made goals will bring long term satisfaction. It is mentally stimulating to deliberately focus your energy into learning and improvement of your skills, whatever it may be.

A good litmus test is if you can hold an intellectual conversation with someone about your hobby.

I used to be in the "gaming is a perfectly acceptable hobby" camp. And I still game a lot.

But the older I get the more I realize how much of a waste of time it is.

Is it better than TV? Yes, definitely. You can socialize and at least you're engaged and thinking, but that's pretty much it.

Think about almost every other hobby, they almost all teach real world, useful skills.

Damnit I really wanted video games to qualify

Yeah but fapping so often leaves me raw.

What leather project are you working on now? I haven't done one in a while..

I'm working on a leather armor cosplay for NYCC. Decided that I love Fallout NV way too much to let that go without making a nice set of armor.

Yeah. Playing video games and reading books are both very enjoyable, but I recently started learning to play the guitar and I'm having lots of fun.

This so much. I love watching Netflix and YouTube and playing video games but I feel so much more relaxed if I take a good portion of my time off to create rather than consume.

To add to this. Showering and grooming yourself. You can adf keeping a clean home too cause all of these really helped me through depression.

Yeah grooming really helps oddly enough. When I’m feeling depressed it helps to take a shower, cut my fingernails, wash my face, go get a haircut, etc. That and going for a run makes a huge difference

Fuck I want to be healthy again, thanks for making me jealous of your super normal stuff. I know that vibe that grooming gives me, harnessing that is a good ass idea...

Not sure about your hairstyle but for me getting the back of my next close shaved as the stylist is cleaning up the cut is heaven on Earth. Feels so good in the moment and puts me in such a good place. Simple grooming can def help change your disposition even if just for a little bit of feels good man.

My mum always said if you’re having trouble getting stuff done, get showered & ready and put on your shoes

...and going for a run... that escalated quickly

Ah but then depression makes it so difficult to do these things. Tricky little pet.

It does make it tricky.. If you can muster up the will power, I find if I'm 100% depressed and I shower (just shower, no shaving, no hair styling, just shower) I usually can go back to my nest on my couch with my depression down to 95% and man... That 5% really feels big when you're down in the dumps, and when you recognize this it may take off another 5% and you'll go from 100-90 in a half hour! Might not sound like much/anything but hope it helps! Sorry if this is too rambling!

No that's absolutely true, that's a big one for me too. I always appreciate a reminder of what I can do and how it helps, so thank you. x

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie...

you had me until "run". and "shower". lets be realistic here.

omg, I was constantly losing my keys until I figured out that if I just took the extra second to pick up after myself, my house wasn't cluttered and I didn't have to put my keys in a different spot where there was room every time I walked in the door. I haven't lost my keys in years now, it made such a difference.

I bought this stupid kitschy key hook off Etsy and hung up right inside my door. This thing has changed my life.

Before, there were like 5 spots my keys could be: back of the toilet (for when the first thing you gotta to is take a leak), kitchen counter (usually when carrying in groceries), coffee table, papasan or the ground around any of the above mentioned places.

No I hook em on that bad boy right when I walk in. Took a bit to get used to it, but now my keys, dog leash and dog harness are all hanging there ready to go!

Really it's just a matter of always putting things in the same place. Mine are always in the pocket of my pants/shorts so I always know where to look.

It drives my dad nuts when I go home and borrow his car, though, since there's a 50% chance the keys don't end up back in the bowl

Well, yes. I mean, there's a god damn table right inside my door. I could have just always put the keys there, but that was too hard for some reason.

Somehow, this damn key hook makes all the difference. It may be because now that I've bought the damn thing, if I don't use it I feel like I'll have wasted money which forces me to put my keys there when I get in.

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haha! Yes, I have a "phone area" on my kitchen counter where the charger is, and that has helped a bunch, as long as I keep that counter relatively clear!

Hi neighbour. Where do you keep your car keys? Thanks.

Yeah, definitely this. Feel so much better after a work out, shower, beard trim. Clean up the kitchen, put my clothes away after drying. It's nice to be somewhat organised.

Don't know of anyone else has mentioned it bit you should Google "boring self care". It's a solid concept and as amazingly simple as it is effective.

Thank you, that was soul soothing.

Seconding this from a girl's perspective. If you're going through some stuff, it is absolutely amazing what a difference doing your hair and makeup can have on your attitude.

Yes. I went through an incredibly hard time a couple years ago because of some serious trauma. I just felt so hopeless and started over-eating to comfort myself. I decided one day that if i’m going to be alone and depressed forever I can atleast be hot (or try). I started doing my hair, make up, clothes, to the furthest degree. It really helped me feel better about myself and my newly soft body.

Now when i have spells of depression I make sure to always do my hair & make up and put on something cute because it just boosts my mood all day. When you feel like shit & then look in the mirror and you look washed out and tired and your hair is bad it just compounds that feeling. If i look in the mirror and my skin looks good and my hair is bouncy it makes me feel good inside. We’re all going to die one day but i’m going to be cute when it happens.

Last week was rough but I spent a few hours on sunday cleaning the house, opening the blinds, doing dishes and laundry. It really helped. Seeing my nice clean and tidy house in the actual sunlight was refreshing. Doing yard work helps too since it gets you out of the house in the fresh air. Much better than laying on the couch in the dark watching tv all day like I did most of the week.

I'm glad you're doing better!

Amen to this. Keeping a clean home clears the runway for focusing your mind on projects that you enjoy.

Some days it takes longer than others, but getting in the shower every day helps so much. Self care goes by the wayside when you're depressed, and keeping on it, for me anyway, helps keep the worst of it at bay.

Yes! My depression is terrible and alot of times I find myself having to make myself shower, brush my hair and teeth, change clothes, etc. Also same with housework. Ive noticed a big difference in myself tho afterwards when I make myself do these things versus when I just give in like I really want to and just say fuck it ill do it later. Getting everything ready the night before work, sweeping the kitchen, starting a load in the dishwasher and a load of clothes in the washer and showering afterwards has helped alot. Alot of times I get super overwhelmed but doing just little things to clean before I go to bed has really helped my depression alot. It's still a work in progress. I hope one day I'm able to just do the things I know I need to get done without having to force myself to do it.

Showering and grooming yourself

So much this. Even a little bit of self care can make it better. Showering won't cure depression, brushing your teeth won't rewire your brain, combing your hair won't fix those dopamine levels; but it's a good place to start. Once I put my ponytail up, I feel like I've accomplished one mission and can push into the next.

It was really pathetic how good it made me feel to do a load of laundry this morning instead of cycling through what clothing options are moderately clean and still fit decently.

As a father to a toddler, What are these things you speak of?

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It's either that or the cat..

Cats are very big on sleep and grooming.

And terrorism.

I see you've met my cat before

As the father to twin toddlers, I recommend the cat.

He was asleep.. rubbing it in

My guy sleep deprived

Meet my people, Mr. no-time-for-hobbies and Mrs. no-energy-after-eight.

As a mom to a toddler: I feel you, but getting even an hour or two a week to myself to do my own thing that doesn't have anything to do with anybody else is truly life changing. We try to make sure each parent gets their time off, even if there's not a lot of it.

Am currently at home with a 3 month old. I got 3.5 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours, one 2 hour sleep and one 1.5 hour sleep. Fuck my life.

Having a kid did the opposite for me. Now I go to bed when he goes to bed which is around 9pm and regularly get 8 hours of sleep.

Well you had enough time to read and post here.

Work is my downtime

Time to sleep and get a hobby while working. win/win

Is procrastinating a hobby?

Yes! I was wondering the same!

As a father to two toddlers, please enjoy all that precious one-toddler sleep

When they hit school age, you will know.

Source: Mom to an 11 year old who had a few good years of sleep until the other 2 were born (4yo and 2yo)

Could always make another one. I hear it gets easier after the fourth

A hobby is something you do for the 4 seconds of peace and quiet before you freak out imagining all the things the toddler is getting into.

Congrats, you did it to yourself.

I know. Worth it

What does your pediatrician say about a toddler not having a steady sleep schedule, yet? That usually works itself out by that stage.

That's...not really a thing. Unless they're not sleeping because they're not getting enough to eat or something, sleeping through the night doesn't really come with a deadline.

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Getting medicated my insomnia was the best thing ever. Apparently my anxiety was tied to being tired all the time and after medicating I had normal people levels of anxiety. My mood also improved drastically and I just felt better.

My husband has already mentioned that he thinks I should only breastfeed for a bit longer so that I can start taking some kind of medication for sleep again. At least chronic insomnia has prepared me for life with a newborn but also makes it a bit harder since I can't just sleep when the baby sleeps.

May I ask what medication you got suscribed?

I've used Vistaril (an antihistamine, did ok but not consistent), amitriptyline (did great but gave me sleep paralysis and dried me out), Ambien (gets me Ambien high sometimes which is crazy feeling, but consistently get 5-6 hours of sleep), and belsomra (amazing, no side effects, consistently get 7-8 hours of sleep).

I'm going to go back to belsomra post-breastfeeding because it's a medication where I can wake up just fine in the middle of the night and do whatever needs to be done without being sleepy and just go back to sleep when I lay down. I've literally worked on it and helped save lives and never had an issue. Ambien will not be useful because I can't take care of my daughter when on it.

Talk to someone knowledgeable about medications while breastfeeding. Most doctors will tell you not to take most medications, even if they're perfectly safe, just because they don't know and would rather be cautious. If you're in the US, lactmed is a great resource. Dr. Hale literally wrote the book on medications during lactation and they'll have the most up to date studies. Far more medications are safe than most people realize!

I've looked into some of the medications and it looks like Vistaril could be one I could take. I'm planning on discussing it with my doctor a couple of weeks before I return to work. I just really want to go back to belsomra because it just worked so well.

I love amitriptyline. I mostly only have a quarter tablet

I really loved it until the side effects started. I know for many people it's a great medication.

How do you go about getting diagnosed with insomnia? I'm pretty sure I have it but not sure what route to take.

I would say start by looking for a sleep specialist online. My doctor is a neurologist who focuses on sleep disorders among some other things.

I discussed my issues with my primary doctor. This is something I've had issues with since I was 10 and I've tried all the standard sleep health remedies (bedroom is only for sleeping and sex, no TV, no screens after a certain time). Then we started with medications that were fairly mild and not technically for sleep, but usually help people. We went from the until we find things that worked well for me.

I take trazadone each night, and it works great. It took about two weeks to work. I had dry mouth pretty bad during those first two weeks, but I sleep 8 hours a night now. I have a sleeping schedule again for the first time since high school. Definitely recommend it.

What did you get medicated with?

I answered this as a response to another person pretty in depth. My favorite is belsomra. Some others worked but had side effects that I couldn't live with.

Sleep when baby sleeps Poop when baby poops Do laundry when baby does Prep dinner when baby does Drink wine when.....

Sleep when baby sleeps is the worst bs to give a new Mom.

It's just not possible. Especially because my baby is a noisy sleeper. It took a bit to learn what noises are sleeping noises and which are awake noises.

My son is 9 months now I still check on him in his sleep our room in his p&p and his room in his crib.

Have you tried cannabis?

No. I'm a nurse and can't risk a drug test. Plus I'm not interested in smoking anything as my lungs have had enough damage from the cigarettes and marijuana my parents smoked as I was growing up.

I know for many people it works, but it's not an option for me.

That's a shame, as there are many other options besides smoking nowadays. I hope you find something that works for you.

Cure insomnia with this one trick!! Doctors hate it!

Try sleeping better

Lol, but how am I going to get in my required 12 hours of switching between Reddit, YouTube, and Facebook?

Do that less?

wow, that felt personal.

Yeah! No need for personal attacks, jeez.

Yes, many times yes. There are some people who have legitimate problems with insomnia but a lot of people can benefit from better sleep hygiene.

E.g. cut out caffeine later in the day, less screen time in the evenings, use your bedroom only for sleeping and sex, etc...

Bedroom just for sleeping then got it...

Set up a macro that clicks on every reddit link and use a voice reader to have it read you the comments in your sleep. That way your mental retardation will progress quite nicely.

switching between Reddit, YouTube, and Facebook, Netflix and Pornhub/xhamster ?

Reddit, Imgur and FB and you're me.

/r/thanksimcured

I really believe people just need to sleep train themselves, just like we do for toddlers.

Pick a time to start your bedtime routine.

7:45 - Shower

8:00 - grooming and set your clothes out for the next day

8:10 - Read two reddit post

8:15 Make a To-Do List for tomorrow

8:20 - Read a book for 15 minutes

8:35 - Turn on a noise maker, turn off the lights, close your eyes and mouth.

​

Wake up 10-10.5 hours later

​

8:35 is so early - what time do you wake up?

I would also leave more time to wind down. I suffer from poor skeep but this helps a lot:

  • Set a time to sleep that is a multiple of 1.5hrs (align sleep cycles) + an extra 15mins (time to fall asleep - adjust) from your wake time. For example, I want to wake at 8am, I sleep at 10:45 to get 6x1.5hr sleep cycles + 15mins = 9ish hours of sleep.
  • Drink a lot of water 1-2 hours before sleep to be hydrated. Stop drinking water at 1 hour before.
  • Stop all phone/screen activity 1 hour before sleep. Stop all activity that requires active thought, makes your mind race, makes you anxious 1 hour before. Write it down on paper to do tomorrow if you are worried you'll forget.
  • Brush/floss teeth etc.
  • Have a warm shower before sleeping. Not too hot or it'll dehydrate you.
  • Pee out excess water.
  • Get into bed on your back, close eyes.
  • If you wake up less than an hour or so before your alarm and fell good, DO NOT go back to sleep, wake up now while you feel good.
  • Stick to this routine as much as you can, even at weekends.

If you have true insomnia where this doesn't help and you literally can't sleep - go and see a sleep specialist. If you're in teh UK your GP can refer you for free.

Only a small part of people who have irregular sleep patterns suffer from insomnia.

Most people just don't care about even the basic sleep preparations. You can't overeat late, use electronics in bed, drink coffee at evening, take short naps during the day and then say you have insomnia.

Getting back into correct sleeping patterns is suprisingly easier than it sounds. Your body wants to sleep well and will help you along the way, you just have to stop figuratively building obstacles for it to overcome.

And if you won't be able to do it due to actual insomnia it may be a sign to visit a doctor, because it's a relatively simple to "fix" disease that harms the mental state much more than it seems to.

Let me guess you can’t sleep well, eat fast food multiple days a week and never work out ???

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The problem is a majority on reddit will claim "anxiety disorder" you can do more.. cut out caffeine ? work out more efficiently ? eat even better? go to bed every night same time? stop drinking alchohol? stop doing drugs?

You seem really bent on shitting on this guy. If you really cared about improving others lives you'd go about it in a different way. Classy

Regardless of how my words make you feel, you can admit i'm correct and move along. Don't need to sugarcoat things i'm not your mother.

Oh I see, you're TRYING to be an ass. Got it. Have a good one.

I bet you give your obese kid a cheeseburger, instead of telling them they need veges.

No, I actually dont have kids. But, my point is if you genuinely wanted to help someone with a problem you wouldn't assume they are doing the worst thing right away, and then continue to assume bad things about them when you don't believe their mental illness is real. It seems like you just wanted to make him feel bad, or maybe make yourself feel good. Either way you were never going to help that way, and I think you know that. With that, I'm done here so kindly shove it up your ass friend.

Edit: grammar

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I get you man. This guy is being an ass. Good on you for trying to overcome it!

I don't care about your therapist, I was listing several things that reduce anxiety and help you sleep better if you've done all of them i'm sorry and I hope everything works out.

Anyone have any hobbies they recommend?

learn to make a good meal, go for a walk or go to the park and take pictures of things you see that make you feel happy

The meal and walking is nice. If you can go with a dog so you don't feel so lonely

Learn an instrument, reading, hiking, rock climbing, martial arts, lifting weights, collecting trading cards (can get fucking expensive though)

trading cards are as bad as crack if not worse... i dont know if getting an hardcore addiction makes your life better.. but that shiny cardboard sure is nice

Yeah absolutely lol. I like to collect football cards, and Tom Brady is my favorite player. His stuff is so absurdly over priced. I picked up one of his rookie cards for $50 a few years ago, it sells for 500-600 on eBay now easily.

Any tips for getting started?

Depends what kind of trading cards you’re looking to collect, but Beckett.com and Blowout Cards are two places with great forums for buying/selling/trading. Scouring eBay for stuff is a great way to build up your personal collection. One thing I like to do is collect players from my favorite team (New England) so I’ll go on eBay and search something like “James White auto” (autograph) and browse through the listings until something catches my eye and see if it’s at a price I’m willing to pay. A card is worth how much you’re willing to pay, so there’s no real guidelines on what’s a good price. You can also check out local card stores for boxes or order them online. The thing about that though, is that you’ll mostly get duds. But buying boxes is a good way to gather cards that you can later sell or trade for specific cards that you may want, and every once in a while you’ll hit on something nice that you can sell for a lot, or if you just wanna collect cards in general you can hold on to it. There’s tons of different brands and sub-sets, and some yield better returns than others. I’ve had to put my hobby on hold for a while since I’m a broke college student so unfortunately I’m not up to date on which sets are hot right now. But I’d say a good way to get started is to decide what you wanna collect. Some people like doing specific players and love seeking out rare or cool cards of that player, others like collecting their favorite team, and some just like collecting anything. If you fall into the first two categories, I’d search eBay for your player or players from your team and see what catches your eye. If you fall in to the third, I’d look in to what sets are hot right now and pick up a box or two and see what you get. You’ll definitely gain a lot of knowledge along the way, and it’s really cool when you find stuff that you love or that ends up being a gem (like my prized Brady rookie card that appreciated in value a ton). The communities over at Beckett and Blowout also tend to be pretty tight knit and supportive and will always be willing to help you out, I’d definitely recommend checking those forums out. When I was new I had people who would give me good deals just because. There’s also subreddits for that stuff although they’re not as active as those other 2 forums. Hope that helps, any other questions feel free to ask!

Edit- this is also a good time to start because prices tend to dip in the off-season then peak in the season as players get hot

(can get fucking expensive though)

This is my issue with most of my hobbies lol

+1 for weightlifting. It'll make you look and feel better and it's so addictive. I've beem lifting for 6 years and I love it. Also hiking is awesome too. It's so fulfilling to climb to the top of a big ass mountain and take in all of the views.

The first time I hiked up a mountain there was a bald eagle that started flying around my friends and I at the top. Adding that to the already amazing view was truly an amazing experience. I look for any excuse to hike now.

Disc golf. Addictive once you start getting a little experience, and almost free. Assuming you have courses in your area

I will second this! I live in a relatively small town that happens to have two courses within a 20 minute drive and tons more within an hours drive. It’s a great fairly inexpensive way to get out and have some beers and make some friends!

I also tend to take my discs when I take small vacations around me as it’s not hard to find a course and it’s a great way to kill some time!

What do you like? I enjoy gaming (PC, I'm a disappointment with a controller), spinning, knitting, gym. All these hobbies can be enjoyed in company (I have a spinners' guild, a knitting group, a gym trainer), but also alone, because I'm not a people person. If you, on the other hand, love being among people, you might find things like team sports or boardgame groups or dancing great.

What’s spinners?

Yarn makers. Fleece to fashion style.

This is a strange one : Tea. If you love tea do research and try many different kinds and all the ways to brew them. It is a lovely hobby but addictive as well.

Ha, I never thought of it as a hobby, but I have a ridiculous tea collection. Maybe that is one of my hobbies!

I spend a lot of money and time on it and enjoy it so I like to consider it a hobby not a "problem" as my friends put it.

Learn to play guitar! I just started, and it has been a miracle cure for me.

Been thinking about it. I have a classic and an electric guitar, but can’t seem to pull myself together and start taking lessons. I tried it by myself, but i don’t have te discipline to continue...

Same. I just took my old guitar from 12 years ago out of storage. I've been trying to follow some online courses, but I'm also going to start taking lessons so that I can keep myself accountable.

What did you try by yourself, out of curiosity? I think the most important thing at the very beginning is to learn all of the open chords by watching a YouTube video or something. As soon as you do this you can start playing songs that you know and like and actually have fun with it, rather than just having to force yourself to learn scale shapes, which is how some people start.

I’ve tried lots of stuff. You know, youtube videos but also some usefull apps. It is just that after a while, the guitar stays in its place. And then i listen to some epic guitar songs and i want to play again. I recon when i finally take the step to get some in-person lessons, i’m not going to quit as easily.

I see. Well I hope you end up taking the plunge! It gets incredibly fulfilling, and kinda like working out in that it's one of those things you'll always wish you had started earlier.

I recommend justinguitar. There’s an app, a website, books, and tons of YouTube. It’s definitely the best way to learn without a teacher, in my opinion, because there is a structure and clear path to follow, and Justin’s teaching is excellent. He’s a British dude who’s been teaching a long, long time, and he makes everything easy to follow.

Ukulele is easy and fun as well! The chords are dead simple and the strings are softer so there’s less pain in the beginning.

Musical instrument, trying to read all the books you own (I’m almost a third of the way through all my books), gardening (even if it’s just one little plant), podcasts, etc.

Ooooo I’ve heard bonsai is making a comeback!

Whittling

Knitting

Hiking

Fishing

Checking out parks and local nature reservations, exploring local sights and such.

Rec sports! Soccer, Frisbee, Hockey, etc.. you're never too old.

Fishing. Personally, I like sitting alone with my own thoughts, on the banks of the river, listening to the water, watching wildlife. Very peaceful and calms me down after a long day.

Picked up home brewing this year it's really fun

Guitar if you have a couple hundred bucks to drop on a cheap acoustic. No matter how long you’ve been playing there’s always more to learn.

Or if you enjoy hip hop or electronic music, getting FL Studio and making music on there can be a really fun hobby

Chess! Very fun game that tons of people play everyday IRL. You can make new connections and have plenty of fun doing so.

Give it a try on www.lichess.org . If you are completely new to the game they have a great tutorial on www.lichess.org/learn

Also once you get familiar with the game be sure to check out the r/chess subreddit its an awesome place :)

Gear hobbies are a lot of fun, because you can spend the downtime reading about different products and techniques. My hobbies in order from cheapest to most expensive: freediving, hiking, fishing, camping, road biking, scuba, snowboarding, mountain biking.

Obviously these are pretty expensive, but if you get decent gear it can last a long time, and everything is accumulative over about a decade for me. My fishing rod was about $50, and with a set of fins and snorkel/mask, I was able to freedive and find a bunch of tackle that gets stuck underwater to help round out my fishing kit (this is super fun with the added bonus of finding the right lures for the spots you want to fish, according to local anglers). I bought a cheaper road bike ($120) of Craigslist because I was sick of taking transit in my city to get to work... found out I loved it, started delivering food as a side hobby and was quickly able to upgrade to a decent single speed bike for around $1000. Would still love to get an even nicer road bike but will probably wait until next year. Hiking and camping kind of go hand in hand, and you can upgrade that gear as you find necessary depending on your local conditions and seasons you like to get out there. Snowboarding I have done most of my life, and I worked at a snowboard shop in Uni so I was able to get my stuff for cost, which helped a ton. Buying early bird seasons passes will also save a lot on tickets. Scuba gear I will just rent, which can be expensive but I will probably only have 1 or 2 chances a year to do it, so kind of a treat. Mountain biking was my most expensive as the bike was $3k+ and there is fairly regular maintenance.... but when you hit technical and fast trails on good bike working the way it should, it's an incredible feeling and money well spent.

Obviously these are a lot of expensive hobbies, but to give you an idea, I make sub 50k a year and live in an expensive city... it's totally possible to gather this stuff over time with financial discipline and a little bit of sacrifice. The quality of life I get from all of these easily makes it all worth it though.

Playing drum set.

I play with IOT Devices (like Raspberry Pi and Arduino). I also collect Toys that I like to take photos of with them doing silly things.

Martial arts! I practice judo and its pretty fun with friends :p

Hiking/nature walking is the cheapest and most rewarding hobby ever.

Programming, d&d, woodworking, fixing and riding bicycles. Lots of cool stuff to do!

My husband and I just took up learning how to play the piano. We love it

Building stuff. If you've got a backyard and a miter saw, myoutdoorplans.com has easy-ass plans to make basically anything out of 2x4's.

Also vegetable gardening.

Knitting!! Cheap to start, easy enough to learn, but with nearly infinite possibility!

Stained glass.

Man I don't want to think about how I've known that sufficient sleep is the thing I need most to better my life and still have not been able to make it happen.

Sadly, those arent simple enough for me.

As I opened this thread, and as a parent to a newborn, I thought: sleep. Glad to see I'm not alone as yours is the top comment.

Sufficient sleep =/= a lot of sleep, Make sure u get a stable rythm, and about 8 hours a day. I've been through a time were I would sleep a solid 10 hours a day, its really shit for your mental state and I just felt more tired.

I have a lot of hobbies and start a lot of large projects. Remodeling my house, bit by bit, an engine swap and manual conversion on my car (which is 2010 and very uncommon in terms of different engine swaps and similar).

If I don't have something to keep me mentally occupied, depression comes back to me. Perhaps too caught up in my own mind. But, when I have something I look forward to finishing or doing, figuring out and working on, it gives me something to want and hope to do. I can't die, I have work to do. I want to at least see x or y.

It has done me a lot of good and taught me a lot of different skills and concepts

I quit smoking 3 weeks ago. I crochet to keep my hands busy but it gets boring. I apparently adopted gardening and yard work as a way to occupy myself that benefits the whole family. Im also not winded when I spend 4 hours out there cleaning up.

And I have been getting excellent sleep thanks to the recent warmer weather letting me have the windows open. Its a huge QOL update.

But my hobbies keep me up at night

Go to bed and get out of bed at roughly the same time every day. Works wonders.

man, I've been going to bed 8pm-10pm to try to fix my sleeping schedule. all electronics off and shebang, 3 am and I'm still wide awake sigh...

Best one right here. Not getting enough sleep is not only bad for you physically it's dangerous too. Don't think you can get by with is enough hours. Sleep always wins.

Sleep is a major one. If anyone struggles with sleep I highly recommend reading Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. Incredibly eye opening how powerful sleep is. It’s crucial you get quality, deep sleep.

Sufficient sleep is not as easy as just saying. Even if you would go to sleep super early like 10 pm maybe you'd still can't sleep until 1 am and it just won't change. Having enough sleep can sometimes almost only be fixed by not having to get up at a certain time because having to get up gives you an subconscious anxiety about having to sleep so you won't get tired when you wake up.

My hobbies stop me getting sleep.

OP said simple things, not "simple" things.

God, this is so true. I feel like I don't do anything after work. I feel like such a non person.

Sufficient sleep

Lots of people replying to you saying they're having a hard time with this..

My suggestion, for those reading this, is to try Melatonin in combination with L-Theanine and GABA supplements. It took me years to learn I had to do more than just Melatonin. Melatonin would put me to sleep, but I would wake up four hours later and be wide awake.

It's a long path to how I figured out I needed GABA and L-Theanine. Whatever they do, they "keep me alseep" after that first couple of cycles.

Obviously your mileage may vary. I'm not some hippie or MLM person. Heck, I frequently drink caffeine all day. My intention is only to share that this works for me, so maybe it'll work for others.

This, I sleep well most of the time but still felt something lacking. I hadn't sung in over 20 years, not publicly anyway, I have a decent singing voice but am too shy to go to open mic nights. I've joined a choir in the last two months and it's been amazing! Alot more of my time is concentrated on practicing so I don't let the choir down, rather than sitting and drinking by myself to pass the time. It's also helped me dramatically when the anniversary of loss has come by because now I have soothing or fun songs to sing to myself, and the person I've lost. A hobby can be anything, mine is music and it's made this year better than last without question

MFW I read your comment and then notice it's 1 am and I need to be awake at 5.

This has been the core of my Lenten Practice (TM) this year. I'm going to bed earlier and getting up earlier to rekindle my love of reading. It's hard to read after work because my brain's fried and I wanna do something that either engages my body (I love to bowl so it's usually that) or doesn't really engage me at all.

But getting my day started with a good book, a cup of coffee, and some light music is the best. It's hard to do - and sometimes you really do need those extra few hours of sleep = but once you're up, you're glad you did it.

GET THIS TO THE TOP

you speak as if they are simple things to achieve; especially for uni students whose asses are constantly on fire... nah, I was just being bitter. Yes, with some planning both are very doable.

Hard to get good sleep and hobbies when you have a job with extreme hours. I work southern swing shift and it is hell.

I really try to go to bed on time but constantly tossing and turning and waking up early.

Sleep? What’s sleep?

All I know is staying up until midnight doing homework

Actually, I think people don't get enough sleep for reasons that are usually complex. Not simple.

How do I sleep when wherever I live is noisy?

Honestly hate whenever someone says this on reddit. I'm sorry but it is not at all that simple to just find a full 8 to 10 hours every single night. There's just always things that come up or days where you work late or whatever else. Like, having a social life, hobbies, a full time job, family to visit and take care of, and then sleep away a quarter of your day too? I wish it was that easy.

Well idk about sleep but I've got the second half of that lol

Sleeping and fapping are my favorite hobbies

That did not happen to me last night with the sleep bit.

I picked up taking care of houseplants this winter. Significantly and dramatically reduced by SAD that I’ve been dealing with for about 10 years (moved from sunny SoCal to New England)

One or the other, my friend.

Sleep, indeed !

A study in mice and people shows that sleep deprivation causes tau levels to rise and tau tangles to spread through the brain. Tau tangles are associated with Alzheimer's disease and brain damage.

https://medicine.wustl.edu/news/decreased-deep-sleep-linked-to-early-signs-of-alzheimers-disease/

Any tips for actually sleeping then? I work night shifts and I finished night 2 of 4 7 hours ago and I've been in bed since and I've only managed to catch an hours sleep. Even without being on my phone until about an hour ago because I got a phone call 🤷‍♀️ it's too late to take sleeping pills because I have to be up in about 5 hours anyway... I don't have access to lavender oil or a bath either

/r/wowthanksimcured

Came here to mention proper sleep.
My post is useless.

These two have changed my life

Yea..... my hobby is gaming,.. how does this sleep thing work?

Oddly I hear the sleep thing all the time. And all my life I've tried to abide by it. I'm 30+now and I just realized I almost always perform better in the gym when I am sleep deprived, slightly.

And no, video games are not a hobby. Neither is just watching movies or just reading books. Thats pure consumption, and nothing inherently meaningful comes out of it without support

This. I recently took up Brazillian Jiu Jitsu and started playing Magic: The Gathering. My life is much better than it was this time 4-5 months ago and it's because I have hobbies and am meeting people, making new friends etc...

Especially a hobby that feels really different from your job. If you sit at the computer all day working, reddit is not a good hobby. TV is not a good hobby. Do something active or creative.

I suggest mturks. I started doing that and it’s helped a lot. Fun little survey, decent money.

It’s my hobbies that keep me from sleeping. I have to set bedtime alarms and I’m 36.

Impossible to attain when you are a parent. I guess my life is doomed.

Especially when you have a good sleep routine and sleep hygiene! It changes your whole life

sleep

hobbies

Pick one.

I’m so tired 24/7. I was finished with all responsibilities at 10 last night and watched youtube til 1

I hate seeing people say sleep, some of us literally can’t sleep no matter what we do. Are we just fucked? Lol

Drink enough water 💦

And having a baby has put stop to both of those, soooooo.....

what if sleeping is my hobby?

Going to bed at a reasonable hour has made all the difference!

Say that to my ADHD

I can confirm as I have grown older I miss sleeping peacefully I barely get 4 hours of sleep.

To add to this... A sleep schedule as well. Even if there's no reason to wake up, it's important for your body to adjust and keep on it. Helps with your mentality a ton!

I have small kids and work full time. I pay for hobby time with sleep, or pay for sleep with hobby time. Oh, well. :)

“Happiness consists in getting enough sleep. Just that, nothing more.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers

OP asked for simple suggestions

SO and I recently got hobbies. She picked up a good DSLR camera and got into photography, and I picked up some model trains. It's nice to come home and have something to do other than work or chores or sleep. Also provides a much greater sense of pride and accomplishment than any game I've ever played.

Fascinating to see a comment about sleeping get 19k upvotes.

Sleeping early is key.

Sleeping ain't simple for many of us

Is playing video games considered hobbies to better my life?

I get sufficient sleep most of the time, yet I'm perpetually tired. I wake up still exhausted

Don't hold on to anger.

I try, but everyone keeps shoving more anger up my arse, so I can never get rid of it.

You should really close your arsehole

Alright, I’ll invest in some Flex Seal.

Try writing down why you're angry and how things can change to make you un-angry

flashback to missing recess in elementary school to do this

Hello me.

If it's not anger that's suffocating me it's drama and neither of which originate from me, always my friend. I'll be cutting them out of my life in the next few weeks.

But it’s the only thing that keeps me going

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

/s --Aristotle

Bitterness not anger

Perfect ❤️

No, you! ☺️

Is he the one that married a woman simply because she pissed him off? If so, I don't think he's the best person to be taking life advice from.

Sorry, my bad.

/s --Darwin

Huh? I’ve never heard of this. Why would anyone do that? Chasing excitement? Pursuing drama?

My bad, it was Socrates. Not very well versed in my philosophers. He said: "I wish to deal with human beings, to associate with man in general; hence my choice of wife. I know full well, if I can tolerate her spirit, I can with ease attach myself to every human being else."

Unrelated: I only know this because there's a character on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt named Xanthippe and I wanted to know how it was spelled.

Huh. I had no idea. Interesting. Thanks!!

Oh I love that song!

Slip 'n' slide the eye of your mind...

Don't you know you might find .....

A better place to play

You said that you’d never been

But all the things that you've seen, will slowly fade away

So I'll start a revolution from my bed etc

i coujldnt remember the lyrics and was too lazy to search so i love you all guys!!

SLIP INSIDE NOT 'N' SLIDE

Don’t hold on to anger

SLIPPIN SIDE IN YOUR EYEE!!!

This is so hard to learn but it's worth it. Sometimes you have to remember that you're not required to feel angry. Our pride gets the best of us but if we let it go, it's so much easier.

To be honest, I often find anger to be one of my biggest motivators.

Well, perhaps it's more about channeling it healthily. Don't let it consume you.

Yeah I agree. People constantly tell others not to be angry but being chill about everything never gets anything accomplished. Anger and discontent is what spurs change, and passive acceptance is what keeps people in shitty situations that could be greatly improved if they were just a little pissed off about it.

I'm talking about holding onto anger at people for past wrongs. The only one you're hurting is yourself. Let it go 🎶 let it go 🎶...

Why not? How is it hurting me if every few months something reminds me of an abusive ex and I think to myself "god, I hope that fucker's dead"? Everyone acts like people who get mad about something are just constantly stomping around giving themselves heart palpitations.

Very true. Some people and situations need to hear it the hard way, or else they’re gonna stay the exact same. Being angry and discontent is necessary at certain points.

For some weird reason i perform better when angry, at sports, work or video games. Weird stuff

Maybe Thor was right

I should have been more specific. Stop holding onto anger at people for past wrongs. The only one you're hurting is yourself.

Dude shut the fuck up.

you go just KILL the motherfuckers then!!

[deleted]

This is 100% true. Trying to "let go" of your anger without making room for it will cause depression in alot of people. We have this wrong idea that anger is a bad emotion, or something we should feel guilty about feeling.

What I took from the original comment was don’t keep petty grudges. I def have been keeping some which I am gonna try now to let go of. This I can see helping me a lot.

Yeah, it's like the saying "holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die". It makes you bitter

Exactly what I meant!

Anger leads to the dark side.

Anger can be a weapon. If you can control it. Use it. You clearly cannot.

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

Thank you. I was looking for this comment.

May the force be with you.
Always.

Serious question, how do you let go when you've been to a psych ward and lost most of your friends because of it. Then, one of the few friends you have left tries fighting you on your birthday?

I don't know the facts of your situation, but those that abandon you in need were never really ones you could count on. So you really lost nothing and there's nothing to be angry about. The only person you can absolutely count on yourself should always be just you. Anything more is just a pleasant surprise

That happened to me in college. Here's what you don't do: let it fester and consume you so you spend the next 8 or so years drinking alone and crying and hiding from the world.

Maybe go find some new friends, but take it slow and figure out if you can trust them. Don't wall yourself off from the rest of humanity.

There's a really good self help book that may help you. It's called Forgive for Good. I don't remember the name of the author. I normally hate self help books, but this one really opened my eyes!

Sounds good, doesn't work

That didn't work for me for a long, long, long time - until I realised one day that I don't have the energy to be constantly angry anymore. Things that used to make me angry are now just really, really annoying. I'm not sure if I get done that much more compared to my best angry-times, but I'm not as tired anymore. At a certain point I just felt exhausted and nothing ever change and got better. Might sound dumb and useless to you right now, but if you ever feel like you hit a wall and that feeling doesn't leave you for quite a while - be smart and consider going about things differently. I wasted years and I can't get them back.

replace anger with depression and you're right with me.

still annoying as fuck.

Anger and guilt are the two major sources that lead to depression.

I very much relate.

It worked amazingly well for me after I read a self help book called Forgive for Good. I forget the name of the author. It helped me shed my angry thoughts at people and get on with my life. A weight was lifted. It actually helped me snap out of a depressive state I was in.

Yep :\ I had serious anger issues when I was younger. I still get angry, but I let it go now. It's a struggle, it's worth it though.

It has really helped to reduce my depression symptoms.

But, how? Self help books? Therapy? I could really use a break from the exhausting, exhausting indignance at everything. If I could will myself into chilling the fuck out, I would.

I hate self help books, but Forgive for Good changed my life! Sorry, I forgot the name of the author.

I recently realised that I internalise the fuck out of all of my anger, which is really unhealthy. Trouble is, I don't know how to channel it in a healthy way. Any tips?

Exercise of any form

Write about it in a journal. Write a pretend letter to the person you're angry at. Just realize that the only thing you're anger is actually doing is making you bitter and unhealthy. It doesn't hurt the person you're angry at.

The trouble is a lot of my anger isn't directed at anyone in particular, a lot of it is just anger at the universe for certain situations I've found myself in through no fault of my own.

Write it all down. Get all your anger out on paper. Write a letter to the universe.

scream into pillow.

punch into pillow.

punch into walking by dwarf.

But... vengeance must be mine!

That'll eat you up inside.

This is one reason I actually like having a short term memory. I can't remember why I was angry at someone so I just carry on like usual

Those are all nice suggestions but how the fuck do you let go, some kind of tips?

I read a book called Forgive for Good.

I learned this over the last two years. I have been angry at the world for 36 years. Two year have gone by and I'm no longer angry at the hand life delt. I forgave my mom for being a bad mom. I just gave up being angry. It was real hard, but, I had a lot of time to think. Life is way easy when your not always fucking pissed.

This is what my cheating husband you to say every single time.

Give in to the dark side

Unless you want force lightning

Listen here you little shit

This one is hard, especially if it’s a parental figure from childhood. It’s definitely like drinking poison to hurt someone else.

Most of my anger was at my mom. I'm 56 and I somehow managed to let go of it last year. Not that I have a relationship with her now, but I stopped dwelling on all of my angry thoughts.

That’s good, though I’m sorry that it took so long. For me, it was my stepmother (and I guess my dad too for not doing anything to stop it). I am now that typical person in therapy talking about my childhood and how one person messed me up.

It’s only within the past few months that I’ve been able to acknowledge that the way I was treated was both neglectful and abusive.

Anyway I’m gonna shut up and stop dumping my issues on a random stranger online now. I’m happy you’ve been able to overcome your anger (or at least the constant angry throughly) towards your mom. I can only hope to be in that position someday.

Anger keeps me going sometimes

...and if so, create a Metal band.

I wish I could do that

Can I use it to avoid someone that I don't want to speak with?

Laughs in Kratos

a fuggin goddamit

I feel anger has driven me more than anything else.

Without hate and anger the universe will grow cold with entropy.

Open some blinds my dude and let some sun shine in your house in the mornings. It always made happy.

How am I supposed to get sufficient sleep and hobbies with all that sun shining in my face?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRINK MORE WATER WITH THIS DAMN SKY LIGHT HURTING NY EYES!!

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)>⌐■-■

GOTTA GET DAT QUENCH

If you live in Yorkshire, just open the skylight.

Lmfao. Skylight.

I think you're being sarcastic but this might actually be my problem. It's really strange because I usually love the sunshine

Make sunbathing your hobby.

Scotland here, I’ve opened the blinds but can you elaborate on this sun shine?

Awaiting further instructions....

Edit: Guys we did it, the sun is out, I repeat the sun is out!

Instructions unclear. Taps now aff.

Pint of milk in hand, ready for a saunter down the park.

Ah PINT ae milk!?

A muffit ae tea?

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS??

But... It's just a pint a milk?

Hahaha that's brilliant! "Just a pint a milk"

You that pinta milk guy? Mate ah canny stand you!!

DISCUSTANG

WELL ET WUS FUCKIN ONE A YAS

Who tuk ah Shite an didn’t flush tha toylat?

Not even close.

Change that pint ae milk into a big bag of cans and you've got yourself a swall goin' on!

You spelled whiskey wrong.

In Scotland it's 'whisky' so so did you...

It was a joke. But til.

The e is only used for countries with an e in the name

Ireland whiskey United States whiskey Japan whisky Scotland whisky Canada whisky

Sun's oot, guns oot.

The taps are AFF, the plumbings fucked

It's above five degrees. Taps aff!

You should contact your plumber! /s

Mental how av just opened ma blinds an there's no sunlight at aw. Wonder me wains look like the fella out of the da Vinci code 😭😭

r/scottishpeopletwitter

Where in America are you from?

Sunshine is for people without Scotch

Gonna have to turn a blind eye to this one.

I can't wait for summer, it's my favourite day of the year.

  • Sincerely, a fellow Scot.

Visited Scotland (Kingussie/Newtonmore area)2 years ago, can confirm - no sun. Beautiful country, wonderful people, lots of clouds and rain.

He meant open the blinds and let in the light gray colour

cries in Seattle

You have to wait 2 more months

Panic gripped the citizens of Edinburgh as the sudden appearance of the light in the sky continued to exist, it had been nearly an hour since it first appeared and news feeds had begun issuing warnings to stay in doors and to not look directly at it.

​

"It is an alien attack" one reporter said

​

"No!, two military tanker planes carrying experimental fuel had crashed mid air, causing a sustained fireball in the sky!" Reported another

​

It was unclear what the cause was, but as the event threatened to cross into hour two, as quickly as it had arrived, it vanished, replacing itself with the familiar gray sky that everyone had come to expect.

​

Slowly, people emerged from their houses, gathered in small groups of 3 or 4 and murmured to themselves what it could be. Some stayed locked up for days, fearing a return and ultimately not coming out until lack of food and supplies caused them to make a trip to the local shop.

​

it would be the topic of conversation for weeks, but as news cycles came and went and the needs of the day to day routine did not fade away the citizens of Edinburgh eventually got back to the normal routine until the happenings of that day were reduced to pub stories.

​

"Where were you when the light came?" Curious young pub goers would each other ask after one too many pints.

​

"I was outside when it happened! it warmed my skin! I think it even changed its color a bit!" One said

​

"Y'er lyin" another one said drunkenly, not able to believe that someone would have been exposed to the event like that and had lived in his inebriated state.

​

At the same time, half way around the world, an American tourist stepped off the plane and back in to her home state of Florida where she was met by her college friend who was there to pick her up.

​

"How was Scotland?" She asked excitedly as she tossed her friend's baggage into the back of her car.

"Oh it was incredible! I wish I could have been there for more than a weekend, also you told me I wouldn't need my sunglasses but you were wrong!" she said with a smile.

Her friend sighed at the lame joke and the two drove off back to campus.

The strange burny hot yellow thing in the sky. Eleven years in Scotland and I've seen Nessie more often than the Sun.

Live near Loch Ness, can confirm.

I think he's talking about the paper.

Fire Page 3 oan the window. See if that helps.

Im in here in UK and the sun is fucking gone.

Fife here and it’s been out for about an hour or so now, contemplating if I should get the tartan rug out for a picnic. Maybe get some of the family together and take a few pictures of this moment to show the grand bairns.

Sounds lovely. While you do that I'll just sit here on the toilet scrolling through reddit for an hour.

Aye it does, shame it will be raining again by the time I get home from work!

Haha i feel ya.

Its fucking glorious today mate. Loving it.

Next: Move to Southern California

Can confirm, it’s a beautiful morning in Los Angeles

Just don’t bring your car please we have enough of those

No cars? Damn... I guess I'll bring my extra large Hummer to clog up the roads.

You’ll fit right in lol

The pale pasty Scotsman gets skin cancer in 3...2...1...

I’m in Los Angeles, I’ve got a plethora of rays of sunshine; feel free to borrow a few or a few dozen :)

Between showers, look for the brighter spot in the cloud cover. Then imagine it yellow and hot

Oregonian here, similar confusion. I think Scotland's clouds and rain came to visit us actually because I basically swam home from work this morning...

It's been a beautiful sunny day in the west today, and most of this week. I think your issue is living in the wrong part of Scotland.

I've never had such an easy time understanding a Scotsman. I should ask you guys just to type everything.

You might encounter one of the free folk who also type in Scots though.

Sweden here. Summer is the absolute best day of the year!

As a Dutchie, I can relate. The big orange pie in the sky is a lie.

You don’t need sun because you’re Scottish and that makes you awesome just the way you are.

Welshman here, same.

I live in Scotland too, hate winter thanks to the fact that there's literally no sunlight, only doom and gloom.

On the odd occasion that strange glowing orb is in the sky when I open my blinds it's usually followed by a cat-like hiss...

Ireland checking in. Stay strong brother. We're getting close to our two weeks of tepid sun.

You get two weeks? You lucky fucker.

We do now. Good ol global warming!

I'm in the Scottish Highlands. It snowed yesterday...

Northwest US. What is... sun?

Lol you can buy a light to mimic sunlight. I work in a hospital and one of the managers bought one for the night shift!

Always makes me happy to see Scottish threads

By opening your blinds you'll be allowing your 60w bulb to light up the natural environment, if you all do this then it'll feel like daylight.

I am in Seattle and I am also confused...

Try a SAD lamp. It really works for me.

Seattle here, just as confused

It's that warm thing during a break in the clouds... If there are breaks in the clouds.

My wife and I are moving to Scotland and this lack of sunshine is an idea that pleases me and my ghost-white skin.

Embrace the grey, tis our only hope.

PNW here. Also seeking help.

Seattle here. Having same error. Please send fix

Just do Right, Down, Up, Right, Down, Up and it'll be there in no time.

Been a nice sunny day for once in this lovely shitehole

Someone get this man a doctor, he's hallucinating

All I can think of is When Day Breaks.

It’s away again. Close the curtains guys,

It's goin to bed now

Hope you enjoyed your 5 minutes in the sun

Move to Dundee! Enjoy more sun and now feel miserable about literally everything else!

Heh. Your national flower was free. :D

Leave the UK; the dark clouds technically belong to them and they’ll have to withdraw.

You are in Scotland, that should make you happy enough! (Just kidding but sincerely, from a traveler who CANNOT wait to be back in your beautiful country ♥️)

I live in L.A.

I love the sun but good blinds are crucial because it gets to be a bit much at times, especially because I have large windows.

Phoenix, AZ here, I've opened the blinds and now I have third degree burns on my organs.

My grandfather used to say the place he was born in the hills of Kentucky was so remote they had to "pump the sunshine in and the moonshine out." Maybe Scotland is similar?

[deleted]

You can't be telling Scots to drink more. It's our national sport.

What if you hate the sun and it makes you angry?

Then you might just be a vampire.

TIL I'm a vampire...

We prefer vampyre.

yeah, posts like these are really insensitive to vampires.

I hate the angry sun from Super Mario Bros 3. Does that count?

A lot of people are joking in response to your question, but I'm somewhat light sensitive and burn easily. I get a headache in bright sunlight even if not direct sunlight due to the brightness. Whenever everything starts getting warm and sunny, I start getting depressed and reclusive because it physically hurts to be out in the sun very long.

I don't currently have a solution. So far I've gotten the advice to just stop being weird and enjoy summer.

Cover up with long sleeves, a hat, pants, and sunglasses, also wear sunscreen. 30 SPF is the minimum, 50+ if you can handle the thickness of sunscreen. Clothing is your primary line of defense from the sun. Stay in the shade if you can. Also mention this to a doctor as you may or may not have an underlying condition. Follow this and you too can praise the sun! Or stay a vampire and join r/skincareaddiction like me because the sun is for dirty pores.

It's still dark when I leave for work, this didn't work for me.

Too bad it's still dark in the morning when I get up.

That's why I have smart bulbs simulate the sunrise.

Ooooh, I need to do this. At least, for the winter... This time of year it's usually getting bright enough outside by the time I need to get up.

I moved to California a few years ago and by mood has been so much better. I attribute it to the sunlight, because the correlation between the few cloudy days and feeling me sluggish is now much more obvious.

Although moving to California is not a simple way to improve your life, you can do other things, like installing light bulbs with a higher color temperature and increased brightness.

I live in California and despite being April already, it's still fucking winter. Cloudy, rainy, cold. I'm going insane. It makes me physically angry when I look out the window in the morning and see another fucking gray sky.

Sunlight triggers severe migraines for my wife. We live like vampires.

Doesn't that get depressing for you?

It is actually kinda cool but I have always been a night person and I think I have a lot more serious factors contributing to my depression.

That, or at least take vitamin d supplements and/or multivitamins. Vitamin deficiency is never good

And open a window. Even if it's chilly out, fresh air keeps mould at bay, keeps your house fresh and it's better for you.

I am not productive whenever I get enough sunlight so guess I'll pass...

I would but I have to go to work and hate to leave everything exposed inside of my house. I usually do it on the weekends though.

First thing I do every morning is open all of the blinds in the house. Instantly brightens my mood no matter what.

I'm debating changing my rooms around so I have my bedroom in the room with 3 windows facing the morning sun instead of the bay window that faces nothing

this is a big one. just went to the doctor and he said my vitamin D was way too low because I don’t get enough sun. go outside folks, it makes your body feel better.

Yup it's warm today and bright. I opened all blinds and windows and it's so nice. Being outside is even better though. I like to go to the park and feed birds. Now I'm the weird person walking around with a bag of peanuts and a bag of corn. It makes me happy though so who cares if I'm weird in the process

Tell that to my OLED tv, cant see fuck all when just a sliver of sun hits it

The moment I walked into my office when I started working in the US, my heart dropped... It was a huge cubicle filled office, and all I would see was grey cubicle walls, grey carpets, white ceilings and artificial light...

How don't you get depressed working like that?

My mom grilled this into me as a kid. It’s amazing what a little sunshine can do for your wellbeing.

My roommate constantly shuts the blinds at all hours during the day and I could honestly feel my quality of life worsening. Hang out in other friends’ rooms now.

SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!!

Fuck you Skelton man....

I fucking hate sunlight

My partner and I were looking for an apartment and we were viewing this walk in basement in the evening after sunset. We asked hopefully if the place got a lot of sun during the day and the landlord quickly scurried over to the main windows in the living room and said "Don't worry we've installed really great black out blinds..."

Wat.

Well at my latitude it gets bright at like 5am in the summer, so of course I want some blackout shades on any east facing windows in my sleeping room.

In other living spaces, it kinda depends. Right now I have an east facing sliding glass door in my kitchen with no window treatments, and it gets hella bright in there in the morning, and the stainless appliances just shimmer all over the place so it's kinda disorienting.

Do you live in a really hot climate? He may be concerned about electric bills.

Makes it feel too hot and stuffy for me

I make myself do this because I put a little aloe plant in my windowsill. If I don’t get sun neither does he.

Where I live, we only get sunshine 23% of the year...

Sounds like heaven to me! Sunshine makes me angry...

But how do I watch TV in my room with natural sunlight? It shines off the TV and ruins the show a bit. Lil ole goblin me likes my dark carven of a room.

Gotta get some of that D, vitamin D that is!

My favorite spot in my apartment is my chair next too the 2 windows in my living room. Currently sitting here. Blinds open, windows open, birds chirping. So good. People underestimate how much some natural light can change your mood etc.

And cuts down on your energy consunption!

Or triples it if you live in the SW.

Ah, somehow forgot about that haha

I wake up before the sun is done having that nightmare where all its teeth fall out.

Do you praise tho?

I have blackout curtains and it's always tough waking up in the morning. I'm typing this 10 minutes after waking up today where I specifically opened a couple curtains last night to see if the sunshine made it easier to wake up and it 100% does.

I live with my girlfriend and 1 other roommate, so I don't often get the house to myself. My girlfriend works 2 jobs and works almost every weekend so on rare occasions if the roommate is out of town on a weekend I get the house to myself from like 5am til 10pm. One of my favorite things to do is open all the blinds (we live in a duplex so we generally keep them closed so nosy neighbors don't peek in as they walk by) in the morning and keep all the lights off. I make myself a few drinks (yes I know, 5am drinking) and just play videogames in my underwear while getting drunk as the sun slowly starts illuminating the house.

Typing it out makes it sound a little pathetic, but it's one of my favorite things.

But then people watch me like I'm a zoo animal. I'd be better off with no windows.

"Throw your windows open to the World, if you want the World to bring you Happiness." - Modest mouse lyric

I too love destructive UV rays.

Is this a line from the upcoming movie Ghost Dude?

Brazil here, opened the blinds and am burning now, instructions unclear

This works even better if you clean both the outside and inside of your windows with window cleaner.

Leaving the curtains open at night before you go to bed is even more effective. Can't describe how good it feels to see the sunlight as soon as you open your eyes in the morning

I hate when my house is dark. My fiance is always turning lights down to save energy but damnit my personal energy is important too.

Alright this is what leads me to wonder if I'm going insane right now. Because I hated how cold it seemed this winter but now that spring hit so suddenly, it feels like being in the sun physically hurts now. Like my body's overheated or maybe it's comparable to hot flashes (never had those cause I'm a guy)

And I think to myself...that I could be a vampire to not enjoy the wonderful days we have here lately. It's almost certainly not natural.

Which in turn gives you the motivation to get in the shower and clean up your house lest anyone sees you or looks inside. Triple win.

I dont do this cause firstly it really shows how bad my skin is and secondly it shows all the dust and stuff in the room.

None of my old housemates ever opened the curtains in the morning and if they were staying in all day and I didn’t come open them they’d just sit in the dark all day. I don’t understand how you can do that without feeling like shit. If I don’t see the outside all day I feel so shitty it’s untrue. If it was a lovely sunny day and I didn’t open the curtains I’d feel like I was missing out on a day, wasting the beautiful sunshine. Even if I don’t go outside I at least want to SEE outside. Same with at night, we have dimmer switches on all the lights but they’d always use them turned up to the BRIGHTEST possible setting constantly. I don’t know if it’s just because I studied photography and got used to paying attention to lighting but it really does make a big difference to your mood and the ambience of the room.

This couldn't be further from the truth for me.

Sun flat out makes me angry in the morning.

Yeah and open your windows/clean your house or room as well. Nothing worse than living in the BO/still fart air to fuel someone's depression.

My husband screeches when I do this every morning.

Nothing like waking up to sunshine on your face

i never understood this, for me it does absolutely nothing.

Opening windows and letting fresh air in helps me a lot. Especially when cleaning or even just playing video games.

This is my favorite part of the morning.

Finally! Something simple.

this has become my alarm clock

But sun is a deadly laser

A doc I used to work with did some time during residency (or something like that) at a residential mental care facility. They ended up on an experiment that had the patients all come in to breakfast at a room that had sun exposure in the mornings and another that had sun exposure in the evenings. Their findings at that site were that dosages lessened and overall well-being of patients went up.

What you say may have some serious truth to it.

I can relate. I had a wonderful breakfast and made my bed! However, some person in my college group presentation was giving me attitude. It all comes down to attitude.

Fuck that demon spawn ball in the sky trying to wreck my cones in the morning. Lamplight is food for the soul man.

literally and figuratively.

Just started doing this a few weeks ago. The difference is huge, especially during the late winter.

It always made happy.

Damn dude, what happened? If the sun doesn't do it for you anymore....

Morning sunshine makes my eye floaters painfully visible.

Me and my fiance have a war on opening/closing the blinds lol

It also makes a more hygienic room. Mold love darkness.

Yeah it gave me farmer's tan, thanks.

When your morning starts at 4am sunlight isn’t an option

My shitty-ass room is facing west, so no sunlight to wake me up. It does get up to 35 degrees in the summer though, which makes sleeping very uncomfortable.

Was sitting out on the quad earlier before class on the second fucking GORGEOUS 70°(F) day in a row. After a winter where we had a day that it was dangerous fucking shit to go outside bc of the cold... 👌👌👌👌👌. The sun is shining, it's not dreary, it's warm, I'm remembering what joy feels like. Think I'll go back out soon, just gotta take a piss and maybe have a quick snack or something.

Have the windows open for the first time in months. It’s about 65 degrees but still amazing.

Must be nice waking up when the sun's out

Mooooorniiiing’s heeeeeereee!

I recently changed my bed position and opened the blinds wide. Damn my circadian rhythm is back on the game. I sleep at 10 and wake up at 7. Just enough sleep to do all the work refreshingly. 😎

But my seeing balls would melt

The neighbors on either side of me never, in four years, have opened blinds or windows of their houses and it is the WEIRDEST thing to me. The moment it’s warm enough I’ve got windows wide open and the blinds are open daily.

Fresh air and sunshine is good for the soul.

But what about those of us who hate the sun? I get a serious mood shift when it's sunny, and not for the better. If I wake up and it's raining, doom and gloom, etc... then I am in the best mood. I wake up refreshed, happy, and get a lot done. When it's super sunny out, I can barely get moving, I start getting irritable, and I get stuck in a bad mood all day.

On the weeks where we have tons of overcast and weather here, I am on cloud nine. It's unreal... My wife is almost the same way too - except she likes sunshine midday for her plants. Otherwise, it can stay overcast for her too and she's happy.

Instructions unclear. I opened the blinds and the depressing gray light of northern NY seeps in. How do I turn up the sun?

Also in up-state NY. Wash your windows.

For real, found this tip on r/homeimprovement that said before and after winter, wash your windows, the dirt tints the windows and increases the impact of seasonal affectedness. I though it was a load of crap, but I powerwashed everything over the weekend just cuz grime and this morning it made a HUGE difference.

I would add to this to make your bed and do a short set of pushups.

I always use this threads to motivate myself.

And then do nothing.

Because most of the things people suggest are either not that simple after all, too vague, or already too obvious.

​

Like, we all know sleep and exercise is good for you. If I'm not doing these things already, then there's a good chance there's a reason why that isn't just a simple fix.

I’ve had this convo before on earlier iterations of this OP. The key is, when people read threads like this they begin to get motivated by the first few then quickly de-motivated by the glut of suggestions as they keep reading. It’s like, doing all these things is just too much and since they all sound good it’s hard to differentiate and the idea of doing becomes overwhelming instead of simple and easy. It’s the same as that postulation that the more choices people have the harder it becomes to decide or be happy with a decision because too many of the choices seem good.

What people should do is just pick one (or at most a select few) to try and forget all the rest. If they have too hard a time picking, then pick the top voted one, or if that ones not applicable to you then the highest voted one that is applicable to you. Just ignore all the others.

Have you made any progress on goals that you set from those previous threads?

Yes, thank you.

What goals did you set if you don't mind me asking?

Well, I'll name a few but it's going to sound like many of the others around here, lol. And many of these I'd heard other places too (haven't we all?) but just seeing them on reddit over and over (I love these self help/improvement type discussions) kept reminding me and I'd be inspired to try one here and there from some comment.

First of all, one suggestion I really took to heart was to not go too big and focus on keeping it up over a longer period of time even if the amount I do per day/week seems small or even negligible. That really helped me improve my life a lot in various aspects as silly as it sounds. For example, if you don't hardly ever drink water, don't try to make yourself drink eight full glasses a day every day. Instead, focus on drinking only one small glass a day or maybe a fourth of a larger glass depending on the size cups you have, basically a low enough amount to be able to drink it in one gulp if you wanted. It seems so small that you might think it wouldn't make any difference at all, but it's the habit you're building at first on anything and habits take a long time to build (even longer than the three week mark thrown out a lot; I'd say three months or even three years is more like it). And even aside from habit building, it might seem inconsequential to get one extra sip of water a day, but over time it builds up and does help your health, and this idea can be applied to almost any thing you want to improve on.

Another big one that reddit spurred me on was getting enough sleep. Of course I've heard my whole life how getting enough sleep is important but sometimes it just clicks at a certain time. I have terrible sleep habits even still because I'm a night owl and an early bird and an extremely light sleeper, and I can't nap easily. Luckily I work for myself so I can make my own hours, but before I'd go to sleep late then wake up early (sometimes after just three or four hours sleep for instance) and want to hop up and get to my work faster leaving me sleep deprived and then usually one or two days a week I'd "make up" for it by sleeping a long time but never really did and spent most of the week feeling sleep deprivation. When I was spurred on to improve my sleep, what I did was make myself stay in bed for eight full hours each day without work, internet or tv. I allowed myself reading a book because that often helps me get sleepy and fall asleep or fall back asleep. At first it was annoying because I'd wake up early and want to get up and do stuff but I kept at it and after a week or two I started being able to fall back asleep after waking up and getting more sleep each day. Once I actually started getting a good amount of sleep each day (I'd say it took a little over a month to get there) I slowly noticed dramatic changes in how I felt throughout the day. I had less anxiety, more often a sense of serenity or contentedness and a more consistent slow burn type of energy throughout the day rather than the spikes of sudden energy I'd get before. It just made me feel better all around, and look better especially around the eyes.

There's others but this post is already long enough so I'll leave it at that.

Don't stop there, just cause the post is long doesn't mean we don't want to know more of what works.

This is along the lines of the advice Warren Buffet (and I think Richard Branson) gives.

When talking about reaching goals, he says to write down 100 goals that you want to accomplish in your life. After you've done that, circle the top 5 goals. The remaining 95 then become your "avoid at all costs" goals allowing you to focus on what's most important.

Yeah yeah start in the smallest increment and increase.

That's the best advice yet. See ya!

Thanks for this. I’m picking the one about budgeting. What you described is exactly what I just experienced and this reminded me of that feeling of elation when I thought ‘I can use a free tool to help me budget, I should definitely do that!’ Before I promptly forgot and got overwhelmed by all the other healthy stuff I don’t do..

Most suggesting these vague ideas are not necessarily following them. Everyone has all the answers on the internet.

I follow a lot of these suggestions pretty regularly and still feel like shit about 50% of the time

Look at mr fancy pants over here not feeling like shit 50% of the time

These are all behavioral suggestions. Are your problems with your thoughts?

Not who you replied to, but I’ve always been great at positive thinking, and I still have gone through years-long periods of feeling like shit. Sometimes it’s just brain chemistry.

I thought the same thing about myself because my thoughts were positive too. Then I took some psychology classes and I now know my years-long depression is/was a result of my inconsistent sleep schedule, relative social isolation, and internet addiction. And a number of minor things. The social part is the hardest for me still so I'm in therapy for social anxiety.

The more I've learned in class and personally about depression, the less common I think biological depression is. It's a better theory than "don't be a pussy"/"you just need some fresh air", but I think now that depression is usually caused by thoughts/behaviors/conditioning and it's a natural response of the mind to certain kinds of stress, and since we don't live in a connected world anymore, that response doesn't prompt the right reaction from people around us so it can last for years.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a psych and using medication if you are prescribed it

True. I’m in a much better place for the first time in a very long time thanks to Prozac.

Lots of people have horrible sleep patterns, despite thinking they are doing good. Chronic sleep issues can have major health and wellness complications. If you think about it, that's supposed to be 1/3rd of your life. If you're doing something that is hurting you 1/3rd of the time, and during the 2/3rds you're conscious you're only doing positive stuff 75% of the time, then you're hurting yourself 50% of your life. That's an F on your wellness report card.

It certainly could be bad wiring upstairs, but more than likely there are major life issues you're not dealing with because you're too busy to pay it enough attention to realize it is a bigger issue than you thought. This could be physical health concerns, or it could be social health concerns.

Only 50? Tell me your secret!

True but at the same time that doesn't mean it's bad advice.

I had a history teacher who was a bit of an eccentric dick in some ways (he'd get in your face, demand you never answer no to a question, odd style) but cool and inspiring, and he always liked to point out how calling something/someone out that hypocrisy isn't always inherently bad.

Something can be simple and still be very hard to do. All simple means is that it's not complex to do.

Jogging every day isn't rocket science, but doing it long enough to make it a habit and then a routine is hard for many people.

Perfectly said my friend. People confuse simple with easy and that's just not true. Most things in life truly are simple, but simple has nothing to do with effort.

True, but Reddit isn't supposed to get you motivated to do the simple things like drink more water, sleep more and exercise. At some point people have to be able to motivate themselves if they want to make their life better

I just posted this above, but this is a little more specific advice for someone who isn't exercising from someone who started exercising from nothing.

Routine was everything for me.

I had to have a set time I'd work out every day, so I did it on my lunch break. If it was some ambiguous time every day, like "after work" which could have been any time between 3:00 and 7:00 PM, I'd find reasons to not do it. It's far too easy to justify it.

Doing it on my lunch forced me to do it within a time constraint.

When I say "work out", I mean.. I knew nothing of working out and was afraid to hit my gym, so I started out doing push ups, sit ups, planks, pull ups (bought a pull up bar) and that's it. I'd just do three sets of those until I couldn't do them anymore.

That was a couple years ago. I've since gained courage to go to the gym and talk to someone about an actual routine (like 6-7 exercises) to run through. I also started reading about diet and how foods affect your body, protein and carbs and fats. Started making sure I was eating enough of each and what not.

At this point I have a dedicated routine I work five days a week for an hour after work. I feel great, get compliments on my arms/shoulders (something I never could have imagined in my life), sleep better and my anxiety has dropped significantly.

The routine though.. I think back and think man, if I didn't force myself to do it at 12:00 PM every day, I never would have kept up with it.

Edit: let me know if you want any tips or anything for getting started! there are loads of other workouts you can do in your living room with nothing but a chair and a wall!

Sharing some of those tips would be hugely appreciated - after my exams I've got 3 months before university, and I feel like that would be the best opportunity I will ever have to start taking my health more seriously, at 18 with months in which I don't have to do anything else. Not really sure where to begin though. Been vaguely insecure about skinniness my entire life.

Thank you!

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I drink like once a month if that

"God, why can't I sleep?" Posted at 3:12am from my phone.

maybe because you sucked down 20 redbulls while browsing the damn phone all night.

Do you still have kidneys? 😱

Really though, it's all about discipline. It's about making time for something, taking time away from something you enjoy doing, and putting forth the effort to do it consistently. Simple yes, easy not always so. Delayed gratification is an important part of being a responsible adult.

“Its all Already too obvious”

  • Goes back to not sleeping, not working out, eating like shit, not reading, not getting sun, not complimenting people *

You can't fix a shelf until you've picked up a screwdriver. Sure, fixing the shelf is the hard part, but picking up the screwdriver is the start.

Well said my man, I've been commenting on a lot of these suggestions but your summary strikes concisely. Sometimes I think if the house is on fire you just got to get out, maybe there's something else driving the insomnia and whatnot you know.

Boooooo. Send me the link to the smart pills.

A lot are simple, though. Using manners, helping others a little (holding a door for someone, for example) and even smiling. You'll feel just a little better every day. I'm 22 years into (what seems like) an unsolvable sleep problem and I find the standard sleep advice ineffective, but a lot of these tips are small, easy and effective to a small degree, and they all add up.

I always used to tell people that I have a long internal cycle. 30 hours is my average.20 awake, 10 asleep.

And I, too heard all the standard advice, "you just need to [insert solution X here].

I finally got a CPAP machine and that has changed my life so much, but my sleep cycle, after a brief hiccup, has remained the same.

When I got on Reddit I started reading things about Delayed Sleep Cycle and Sighted Non 24. I'm beginning to understand that this is probably me and has been all my life.

I'm not in a position right now where I'm even sure I want to pursue fixing it. But maybe it's an option for you. If your (lack of) sleep is having a negative impact on your life, then it may be worth looking into.

If your life is in a rut or you just feel like shit all the time, it isn't supposed to be a simple fix. I've been trying to improve my life a lot lately but it's fucking hard. If you have depression then how the hell are you supposed to motivate yourself to try something new or to put more work into making your life better? At some point you need to do SOMETHING to change how things are going, and it's going to be hard. It's not like you flip a switch and you start doing all this new stuff or behaving differently or whatever. You do one thing that you feel good about, and then you remember that you felt good when you did it so you do it again, no matter how hard it is. A little bit at a time. It's a struggle for everyone in situations like this, but at some point you need to take drastic steps to better yourself and it's not going to be easy.

I think it's worth noting that simple and easy are two separate things. I consider consistent exercise to be very simple and straightforward as a concept - it's starting and maintaining motivation that's hard for me.

There's a lot of simple ways to improve your life. Doesn't mean they're easy.

Quite often the actual fix is not something big. It's something small repeated a hundred times. Making a habit out of it is the actual hard part.

Most people can make sure they sleep well for a few days or even a few weeks, but after that old habits kick back in and they're back where they started. Maybe they even managed to change their habits, but then something bad happens and they find comfort in their old habits.

One thing I managed to change was that I had difficulty approaching people at work, because I often didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent, didn't ask questions and people thought I did nothing productive. I promised to my manager and to myself to fix that, put extra effort into discussing things and asking questions and most importantly: I got myself a notebook where I could write down things that I should discuss with other people, so that I knew what to say when there was an opportunity to do so.

Nowadays, this problem is much less present. I start my day discussing things that I did yesterday and what I'm planning to do today, which makes me more productive and I fit better with the team.

It's not the knowing, it's the doing.

Simple=/=easy

can you do a push up right now? no one ever got better by running a marathon out of a depression slump. If you want to do it you will muster the courage to do the most miniscule action first and gradually increase it. practice positive thinking. keyword PRACTICE. aka a gradual progression of dedicated time.

if you dont care then so be it

It all comes down to something really simple. Just do it. Nothing more or less. You just gotta keep convincing yourself to do it. Even if you don't want to anymore. You gotta keep going.

The solution is very simple (hard but simple), and 9/10 you already know the answer. Just do it.

It will get easier with time. I swear

I like to think of it as more the drip method. You pick up a little bit of good each time. Every read. Just a little bit extra Good Habit seeps into your subconscious.

You can't do and absorb it all, but you pick up what you can, and leave the rest by the side of your life for when you're ready to adopt it.

Most likely it is a simple fix, though. Your mind has made it into some kind of insurmountable issue. But logically, it is super easy to walk for 30 minutes a day while listening to an audiobook. If I can walk to the fridge, or to the bathroom, or to my car, I can clearly use my legs and have no physical complications in just doing that intentionally and more often.

If you're unwilling to do these simple things that have dramatic improvements on your life, there's little else in these comments worth your reading.

Now this should be the gilded top comment.

Everyone here is just trying to get karma

Karmakaptcha

Even 30mins a day of slight exercise is good and I know damn well you have 30mins

Because actual, takes-5-minutes stuff does nothing.

There's lots of easy stuff in here, but it's continuous. having your life be "better" is a matter of upkeep, not single acts you do once and then enjoy the results. I mean, that's pretty self-evident right? So what do you really expect from these responses?

Drink more water

Getting exercise in isn’t hard.

Fitting exercise into your life is what's hard, not the act itself

Well, there's simple and then there's easy. The ideas behind a lot of the responses are simple enough to understand but hard to execute, in large part because they are often habits and habits are hard to form. OP asked for simple got just that.

A lot of it is pretty simple though. Drink more water: 2 glass when you wake up, 2 with/between each meal.

It is if you're just consistent.

Because despite it being simple millions of people dont go to sleep on time, don't drink enough water, and don't exercise enough or at all.

They are simple, but it doesn't mean that they are easy.

or already too obvious.

But they're still simple and provide a good improvement on life. Even the basic drink water (or alternatively drink less soda) and get a good nights sleep are simple concepts that people don't do.

Simple doesn't have to be easy. Humans are complicated that way.

Simple doesn't have to be easy.

It's literally in the definition.

Simple

adjective

easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty.

synonyms: straightforward, easy, uncomplicated, uninvolved, effortless

Getting enough sleep/eating right/exercising are not simple

easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty.

Something can be easily understood but difficult to do. "Launch a spaceship to Mars."

Something can be easy to do but difficult to understand. Like how you maintain your balance while walking. An example of that is that it is easy for humans to do, but hard to get it right for robots, because it requires a complete and thorough understanding of it (or to make commercially viable).

Some parts can be easy, while other parts can be difficult.

In reference to my previous comment it's simple to say, "Drink more water" or, "Get more sleep." but there are a lot of other factors that can prevent it from being simple. It can be simple and easy for some but more difficult for others. It isn't a blanket statement that can be assessed with the same difficulty for the population as a whole.

Depending on the context of what simple is, something can be simple and hard at the same time.

They are simple in the way of explaining how to do it. They are not simple in the execution.

Or you’re making a tremendous amount of excuses as to why you can’t accomplish these simple things.

Or not everything is malicious and all people are different and what applies to you doesn't necessarily apply to every human on the planet.

I agree entirely, but I also know human beings are quick to make excuses and justify their bad behavior to encourage short-term pleasure over achieving long-term goals.

Almost everyone can find a way to apply one or more of these tips by exerting a bit of additional effort.

Obviously, not all will be possible due to financial or time constraints.

by exerting a bit of additional effort.

What might take "a bit" of effort to you could take a lot of effort for someone else. For example, exercising won't be nearly as hard for a person with a lot of energy and motivation as it will be for a person with major clinical depression who is trying to kick caffeine. Or even just two different neuro-typical people.

Sure thing. But if that person finds a way to exercise it will ultimately benefit them in the long-term.

Life isn’t fair. Things will be harder for some people than for others. Using this as an excuse not to exercise at all is an easy way to justify that behavior.

The fact that it’s harder for one person than another is not an excuse not to better yourself.

Using this as an excuse not to exercise at all

Who said anything about that?

That was the point of my original comment.

Yeah. Good reasons like “I don’t wanna.”

Obviously not for everyone. But you can’t tell me you imagine most people are incapable of 30 minutes of basic exercise and (in the case of normal business hours) not staying up all night.

I think for the biggest thing was that discipline beats motivation everytime. Duh I don't WANT to get up this morning or feel motivated to but is it pretty clear that it's better for me...ya.

Everyone always says "wow I'm cured" but ya of course I know it's a struggle

Motivation is overrated. You only need one moment of motivation. Courage and discipline are what you really need lots of.

/r/getdisciplined

The one thing it is said the most in that sub is that you don't want motivation. It comes and goes. It doesn't sustain long term habit. You want discipline. I feel like that "motivation" the word get thrown around way too much and no one ever noticed it was discipline that they need.

OwO discipline?

Lot of comments from the pro-discipline crowd responding to you; they're all wrong. If you have motivation but flame out, your problem is not discipline, and the solution is not more self-punishment. Your problem is akin to writer's block. There is something in your way that's keeping you from bettering yourself, and the real path out -- the long, horrible path -- is to dig into your past and figure out why there's a part of you that believes the best thing for you is to do nothing. It's possible that it used to be right. Alternatively, there may be a part of you that thinks you deserve to do nothing; in that case, it's wrong, but it needs to be heard and brought into the fold, not suppressed. The most likely thing is that it's both, which gets complicated and confusing, so a therapist makes this a lot easier to figure out (just not CBT).

Not enough motivation? Just get up and do it. Don't think about it. Do it

/r/nonzeroday is an amazing sub that helps with motivating yourself to keep motivation. Even doing one small thing is better than doing absolutely nothing.

/r/wowthanksimcured

I think ops point is that rather than waiting for that imaginary moment where one will be fired up to do something just start reluctantly?

This is quite literally the exact advice I received from a professional when I talked to him about the same problem.
It sounds like shitty advice, but it's honestly what you just need to do sometimes. It builds your discipline and suddenly you're spending less days in bed and more days outside trying to work on the issue to get you where you need to be. It's gets easier to just do what you need to do if you're working on it along with using other methods as well.

Not saying its going to work for every person, but it worked for me. It's not terrible advice. It sounds really fucking obvious to say "just do it" but in my experience a lot of people tend to ignore the obvious.

There's no other way of getting around it. You just have to force yourself to do it.

Well, yes, but actually, no

Tbh, sometimes it's realy not that simple, you can't get around it with some LeBuff at background screaming "do it".

Imagine you feel like shit for some reason (most commonly - with no appearent one). To get out of the shit-feeling you gotta force yourself to do stuff. And you do stuff. You still feel like shit. You force more and the shit-feeling intencifies. In the end, you feel like absolute shit plus you're burned out because of forcing yourself. Was it worth it? Nah.

Not staying "don't do anything", but it's more complicated than that. Better yet - seek help. Then play discipline game

You suffer from the same lack of perspective as the gay priests that tell people to just choose not to be gay

Okay...just...let me finish reading the other top level comments.

I found these helpful actually. Started learning guitar and biking regularly thanks to these threads.

Then do something.

Mention which thing from this thread you want to do, and when you will start (a time, date and place)

We can help.

Please choose only one, you deserve better.

That's because discipline is way better than motivation. If you want to make changes in your life, make them incremental and stick to the small changes you're making for yourself. Don't say "I'm going to the gym every day from now on", say "I'm going to go to the gym twice a week" and stick to it, because it's much more achievable and just as rewarding.

Someone on another thread had a great suggestion. They added push-ups to their daily routine, linked to another activity, which in this case was a morning shower. You could do something else besides push-ups, but linking it to something in your normal routine is what makes it happen.

I have a cup of water 2 feet away and I didn’t even take a drink.

😂😂😂

Sounds like retirement. Congrats.

Motivation is not a outcome of logical, information or knowledge.

Pick one and see if you can achieve it in 3 weeks.

Motivation helps you start. Self discipline is what keeps you going.

Is... that the advice? Okay... Ill try it.

...that’s the spirit!

Motivation is fleeting. Discipline lasts.

I save them to read "later"

Motivation doesn't matter. Decisions do. Decide to do things.

They had us in the first half, I'm not gonna lie.

Use fear to motivate you. One day it'll be too late.

I'm 40, overweight and stuck in a boring job. I promised myself at 20 that i'd love weight. I wanted to travel the world and work for myself. 20 years wasted.

I felt personally attacked for a second there

[deleted]

That's a genuinely wholesome series of events, thanks for sharing

My heart vomited joy after reading this. Just think where you'll be in another 2 years...

And watch several different videos about the same task so you can decide which one makes the most sense

All of these things saved me thousands of dollars and gave me a sense of pride and accomplishment that no EA game could give.

hahahaha!

Drink more water.

Or you might die

Talkin all that jaaaazzzz

That Charlie Parker, that Coltrane

I was pleasantly surprised at this Mick Jenkins comment chain

Not nearly enough people know about Mick and his quest to stay adequately hydrated.

So what are the waters he’s referring to? Marijuana was my guess lol

Supposed to be a metaphor for truth

He talks about smoking a lot but that's not what water is meant to be a metaphor for. Water represents truth

One of his best albums is called "The waters". Water is a prominent theme (motif? Idk he mentions it a lot but I haven't listened to it for a year or more now).

Me too!!

Pretty damn good album that.

Mick J? on MY reddit feed? Today was a good day.

Outside of r/hhh too. This makes me so happy :)

That Charles Mingus, Frank Sinatra

/r/redditsings

Damn son you looking like Bill O'Reilly, you mad?

Ya like jazz?

This makes me so happy to see lol

Unexpected mick Jenkins !! I’m here for it

The Waters EP is his best work imo

Probably but I think the samples kinda got old. I really liked the new album tho even if it a little more laid back

I really love his song with BADBADNOTGOOD, but yeah The Water is amazing.

We need an r/unexpectedmickjenkins

I made this joke once on a forum with no chance of it going over, and it didn't. Feels nice

Really wasn't expecting to run into a Waters reference. Fuck with it tho

With all the upvotes too. Niiice.

More love for Mick here than r/hhh.

Hhh is not very good, rarely discuss any of the less mainstream artists, forget about old school

/r/waterniggas

RISE MY FRIENDS RISE

Holy shit what?

I had never (to my knowledge) heard this song before, and I had it come on an auto-playlist a week ago and added it to my sleep playlist 'cause it was so good, then I heard it playing out of a car on the walk home today, and then come across it here?

Baader-Meinhod Phenomenon's hard at work today.

Water is the most important natural component that we have today. It makes up our world, our bodies, it has the ability to destroy, and create.

Gassed. This has been my insta bio for ages.

Thank God I'm not alone in immediately thinking of that song haha

Hydrate or die-drate!

But don't drink too much, or you also might die

fact: 100% of people who drank water have died or will die in the future, maybe water related, maybe not

Hydrate or diedrate baby

Or you might die

In that case, eat your plokta.

~hydrate or diedrate~

Or a Mai Tai?

Not to much so you don't die.

But drink too much and you might drown!

I love micky jenkins

Drinks water

AND Don't drink too much!

LD50 is like 6 liters for an adult. But your kidneys can only go throug a little less than 1 liter per hour. Anything more than that is just a waste

You should have an urgent need to piss every 15 minutes or you're dehydrated.

If you drink too much and not pee you could die that way too

[removed]

H2theizzO

Izz is actually my name

Izz it, really?

Yes really, this Izz not a joke

Izz there any way for us to verify this claim?

Teach me how to use imgur

r/punpatrol Both of you drop the pun and place your hands on your head

You'll never get me alive.

If not my name isn't Izz...

take my upvote

Hey Izz, nice to meet you! My name is Char'grath'eithera̶̼̘̝̖ͅs̺ț͉͔̹̩͛͛h̩̋̆̂ō͎ͭͅr̞̜͈̰̱̄ͫ̀͢ͅ'̝̏ͭͬ̎̈̊ͭs̳̱̼̙̳͢'̅̋d̳ͦ̔̇ͣ̏̅̇͠ã̶̻̹̠̠̠̟̣̉ͬ̄͛ͪ͠v̰̣̦̮̞̐ͨ̏̀ͥ͗͗̄́́o̧̙̞̦̹̤̝͕͊̓́͜ͅḽ̷̢͉͚̂ͯ̚d̡͎̫̗͚̦ͣ̊ͮͣ̅̊͞͠ͅo̫̟ͬ̑̈́̀͜'̪̣̟̻̹̥ͤ̅̓͒̍͘d̢͉͉̟̳̲̠̒͒̇ͦ̌̄ͫͨ͛o̰͕̘̝̼͎ͧͨͪ͛͐͆̋̆̈r̻͚̰͖̽͐ͥ̈ͧ̔̊ͪ͑͜ȉ̡̲̥͍̘̗̹̜̽ͦa̠̙ͪͭ̓ͥ̉͋ͪ̕̕͠ţ͖͖͉̭̊h̜̥̘͔̺͊ͨ̑ͯ̀̋̆̎!

Char is actually my name

You must've picked Charizard as the starter Pokémon

;)

My name is rbxplzls

you must have picked rbxplzlsdhdikr as a starter then huh?

Whhshsjdnxbjsj2itydjjehe?

*l̸̨̨͇͙͙̯͈͊̽ͪ͂̐͌̓ͤ͂̌͜͡t̛́̒ͧ̀͌̋̊͆ͤ̃ͫ͛̆ͦͯ́ͯ́̚͝͏̯͚̭̗̙͓̺͔̻̺͓̬͖͠ͅͅi̸̸̴̯̱͍͚̳͎͇͕̫̙͊ͩͧͫ̓͋̽̾ͦ̾m̢̛̰̲̙̲̿̓̈̓̀ͭ̔ͧ̏ͥͪͣ̅̉̀̕e͉̮̰͈̠̣̐̃ͮ̔̋̚͟d̴̡͚̪͓͓͍̩ͪͤ̋̉͑̈́ͅi̸̦̥͉̳̩̩͇̗̥̟͈͒͒͑̊̌́̍́̚͘͝a̶̢̨͚̥̞̺̠ͫͯ͑͢͝ ̓̾͂̌̋͑ͮͩͣ̑ͣ͆ͦ̈͛͗̍̍̌͏҉͏̡̭̫̟͇̤ͅI̸̶̸̥͇͉͙͓̺̳̤͍̫̯͈͔ͣ̈̓̓̎̅͐͑͝͞n̂ͣ̾̐̓̂ͪͪ͋̒͏̧̛͕͕̞̠̝̝̖̖̟̜̼̝̪͕̪̖̲t̵̡̛̻̱̰͙̥̻̞̫̰̟͈͎̠͓̼̓̈́̆̍ͫ̈́̊͢e̮͙̤̩̤̣̲͒͆ͫ̍ͫͩͦ̉́́̚̕͝r̶͔͓̙͓͚̦̣̗̘̪̫͔̳͓͓̥͓̈̎ͯ̉͘f̧͓̟̪̖̺̱͉̹͔̞̘͓̩̪̙̬͒͛ͣͩͨ̈́ͨ͝͞a̡̘̻̬̹̟̜͛̌ͧͯ̈́̃͜c͗ͫ̌̽ͪ̆̈́̇̀͌̉͝͡҉͓̪̳̙͖̠̺̪̘̖͎̝͉ͅe̶̵̫̼̙̺̻͓̲̦̦͇̫̣͇͐ͦͨ͒ͮͨ̃͒ͯ͂̿͂̀ͦ̃̉͑ͥ͌͡͝)̭̻̘̖̟̻͂̽ͯ̐̽ͯ̌́͟ ̘͇̯̞̰̞̯͕̳̦̮̖̘̾̐̐̎͋͆̂ͮ͊ͪͦ͆̑͑̏̏͛͂̚͢͡͞ͅi̷̛̛͕̼̯͕͍̞͖̜̝͈̭͓͓̰̙̓̌̏͊̒̎͗ͩ̏ͨͪͦ͢͡s̶̃ͧ̎̃̍̍̏̍̂ͫ͌̄҉̢̛̛̞͙̺̣̳̼̦͔͚͎͙͚̺͉̝̗ ̰̙̦̬̖͈̼̙̮̫̳̣̪͎̽̔̌̈́̌͌̍͛͑̔̄͘͠͝a̡̪͙̬̱ͬͨ̀̆ͣ̏̾̔̊͛̎ͯ́̚͜ ̷̧̨̮̯̩͓͈̘̟̗̹̹̪̹͔̒ͯ̈ͫ̒ͨ̊ͦͫ̆ͥ̃͗̓̇͗ͮͤ͠p̷̢̥̫̰̪̬̼̞͕̥̤̮͕̗̟͖̞̱̪͉͋̊̉̑͑̽͛̄͊̄̀̿̐̔͐̈́̕r̷̸̦̬̝̮̘̥̜̰̬̄̏̌͛̓ͭͥ͗̏ͭ͂̉̃̈́ͧ͌ͨͮͮ͟͠o̧͈̦̺̝͛̉̿̉͂̃̄ͧ̆̔͟p̸̧̠̥̳̤̈̈ͫ͆̍ͭ̌͒̚͝ṟ̶̡͖͚͔̱̯̫̹͍̱͉̫͔͔̜̬͉̗͑ͨͪͬͧ̈ͭ̍ͧ͆ͮ̉͗͊̿̌̄̀͞ͅi̢̖͖̩̲̪̗̟̻͍̝̤̹̻̱̪̘͊̑̇̓͗ͫ̐̈͜ͅe̛̊͑̇ͦ̑̄̏͢҉҉͈͍͍̱̜̺̯̱̘͙̙̩̭͚͎͖tͫͬͭ͆͗̃̎͌̐̈́ͤ͂҉̴̻̝̝̞͎̳̗̯͈̙̮̀͞ͅa̧̛͋̐̐̋͜͟͏̠̝̩̰̘̳̦͖̹ͅr̢̳͇̠̰̻̺̯̖̘̞̤̻͕͓̠͙͍̐̃̈́̈́̃̎͗͘͞y̴̴̧͎̱̹̦͇̭̳̮̗͈̤͓̬̭̹͕̒̅ͧͬͣ͋̿͂ͯ̈͝ ͆͐̾̍̽̃ͮ̉̿̄̀ͩͭͧ͋̓͂ͦ҉̘̟̲̞͔͙̥͎͜a̧͓͉̺͕͇͙̺̗̣̳͕̘̟͖̝͐ͨͣ̋̒͐̊ͮͥ́̈́̇̎̒ͮ̽͛̾͞͝͞ṵ̬̬̩̼̤̯͉̻͈̬̰͍͊̑̇̋͒̈́̌͂͊ͧ̊͢ͅd̵̥̦̥̜͖̥̟̯̯͔̺͊ͭ̆̈́ͨ͐͗ͧͧ̆ͦ̀̽ͧ͂ͫ̃ͫ́̀ͅi̶̡̗̣͇͎̟̺͉̺͚̬̖̘͖̳̳̠̊ͯͧ͆̃ͧ̄̓̌̄͛ö̶̰̫̞̩̮̞̠̳̝̱́ͮ̔ͪͪ͐͆ͨ͘͞/̋̐̆͋҉̡̛͍͈͖̫̩͓̯v̨̧̦͖̪̜̗̦͇̞̱̼̘̠̺͔̓ͣ̽̓̃̓̈́̇͐ͦ̇̑̒͌̽͒͑ͅi̵̴̧͈͉̥̙͇̪̯̣̺̠͉̙̮̘̲̮̮̱ͭ͂ͮͭ͛ͪͤ̐̇͛͘d̥̙̫͚̥̣͚͊͐͒͒ͦ̂̒ͩ͘͜͞͞e̎͐ͪ͆̃̎͛̒ͦ̃̊̒͝͠҉̵̻̯̯̠̪̺o̴ͩ̾̐̈́̔̆́̀͗ͫ̔͒̚͏̙̙͉̻̞͇͍͕̹̲̯͎͉̹̫̼ ̢̬͓̼͖̝͙̳̤̪ͮͥͥ̔ͤ͐ͬͣͦ̓ͪ͐͋ͨ͊̆̃ͪͅi̡̡̗̞̜̙̠̝̽ͧ̾ͦ̑́͂͛͛͛ͧ͗̒ͩͧͯ̀nͦ̏̀ͧ̾̀͋̔̈́͋̚̚͏̵̸̧̘̯̱̪̬͓͉̱̪͖̝͚̬ͅt̵̡ͤ̓̀̎ͬ̀̒͝͏̢̖̲̝̦̤͉͓̬̺̙̗ͅe̛ͯͣͣ̌́͑ͥͥ͒͗ͯ̆́̓͒ͩͥ̀͏̛̝̹̲͓̺̻̝̬̦̫̬̲͎̰r̢̰̳̺̞̼̺̤͙͚̫̮̤̣͚̺̒͛ͨ̈́͋͊̋͊͜͞ḟ̴̢͙̮͉͓̪͎͙̺̱̤͙̺̬̣̳͍̃ͤ̉ͯ͑́̚ͅa̧̨͎̤͈̪̲͉͚̱̟͙͕͉̤̞̤̲͕͖͂ͧͥ̓ͫͭ̈ͭͧ͊͝͝c̡ͧ̆͌̀̋͒͐̽̋̒͛ͭͭͥ̔͂ͥͭ̚҉҉̲̫̠̳̫̘̻͙͖̯̗̥̖̘͇̪̟͎ͅe͇̖̳͇̯̟̙̩̔ͨ̆̓͋͋ͯ͂̈́ͭ̈ͪ͊͜͝ ̵̖͎͕̞̥̤͎̦̜̝͚̼̻̜̩̖̜̜́͂ͧͧ͌̾͌̒ͤ͐̀͟͡͝ͅf̶̻̤̟̳̳̩̥̞̥͚̱̖͉̫̖̍̑͂̀̐̕ö̵͓̖͓̮̹̻̰̰͌́ͥ̂͆ͬͬͭͭ̅̇̐̾̊͞r̨̰̹̻͖̮̩̯͓̜̲͍̒̂̆́̓͌̿͐̊ͦ̐̐̄̐̋́͝ ̴͙̗͓̯͓̃̎̀̊͆̾̍̿̔͛͛͋̏̉ͣͨͦ̿̚ţ͕͍̮̳̲̜̞̞̣͉̞͚̟̤̔ͯ̑̿̾͒̒́ͬ͛ͦ̓̽̽̿̀͆͞r̡͈̜͖͇̳̠͔̫̰͔͚̭̬̩͈͇͙̈́̾̆̒ͨ̒̂̎ͦͪͯͥ́͝ͅa̴̛̪̗̙̜̮̰͖͖̟̜̼̰̓ͯ̂̑̔̎̃̃ͫ͠ͅn̿ͮͪͫ͠͏̷̡̛̖̘̳̤͓̰ͅs̸͖̘̬̬̳̠͚͍͇̦̦͈͈̤̎̋̿̽ͨ̈́ͬ̍͆̾̆͞ͅm̨̈͂͊ͨ̓ͫ̓̌͆͑͆ͣ̈̉ͤ̐̓̎́̚͏͏̣̙̩̮̟̜̘̭̞̪̞̪̜͎̗̮͔̻̕ͅï̸̘͙̯͕̞̦͓͐̊̎̇̄͜ͅţ̿̃̊ͬ̿̌̆̿ͬ̓ͩ̂ͧ̂̒̽̿҉̷̬̪̼͍͎̬̘̘̙̤̠t̵̴̢̻̞͖̯͚͓̭͕̔́̃̃̐̒̐̏̆ͧ̊ͥ͞i̢ͬ̽̆͞͏̮͕̠̖͎̮̟̦̘͟n̵̶̸͈̩̺̭̻̖̖͎̲̙̟͉̰ͯ̓ͮ͌͂̂ͪͫ́͆͂̿͆̆̿ͧ̈ͪ̌͟g̡̝͓̟̥̟͈̱͆̅́̐̔̈́͞ͅ ̨̈̎̏ͤͦ͊ͨͦ̈́̀̾ͧ͒̈́ͫ̚҉͎͎̦̭̬̮̥̳̭̥͔̺̕u͇̥̗̲̫̪̦̘̝̮̰͓̩̙̝̐̈̈́͌͗̀̃̉̄̈́̀ͪͣ̃ͯ̕͟͝n̢̞͉̫̝̪̞͍͂̍̀͒̋̆͑̈́ͤ͒͗̒͆ͣ̿ͯͦ͋̚c̸̵̭̱͕̜̲͔̰̮͋̔̽͋̅͌̾͛͑̂̑͗ͥ̓̈̍͜͞ͅo̢͔̮̫̹̲͉̍ͥͤ͌̀́m̧̛͈̬͙̲̖̯̻̼͓̯̟̀ͭ̐͟͝p̴̯̣̪̭̣̥̾ͤ͗̆͋̿̽͂ͯ̅ͮ̏ͣ̑͘ȓ̶̯̺͉̗̩̼̳̪̻̝̥͉̱͎̱̞̤́̈́̈́ͤ̿̓ͧ͂͌̓̽͐̆͋͞e̶̗̙̠̤͕͍̝̣͎͍̺͇͎̙͗̊ͥͭͬ̌ͬ̌̑̊͊̃ͤ̅̓ͩͤ̀͢s̛̏̑͂̆͆ͫ̎̽͛̀͜҉͚͈̫͍̠͕̜ş̙̺̝̗̭͚̹̫̱̭̥̞̤͙̓̿͐̂̍ͨ̄͆̏̀̾ͯ̊ͧ̿̀̕͢͟e̷͖̖̗͇̬͉̊ͭ͑̓̇͂ͯ̆ͭͪ̒̀̉͗ͨͨ̕͞͠d̸̵̥͇̗̳͔̳͎̜͕̭̮̮͍͎̼̭͈̱̭̃ͤ̽̏̏͛̀̋̄̍͗̎͒̓̒́̓́͝ ̶̨͉͖ͫ̾̂ͤ͛̀͢͡ͅv̊̃̈̋̒͛̓̆ͩͧ̌̿ͧͯ͋͑͏̢̼̪̻̘̝̲̳͙͎̫͈͍̼̻͍̖̯̝į̷̨̥̠͍̹̾́̏̌̒ͯ͜͜d͎͚͙̰̝̠͚̦̺͇͔ͣ̄̊ͨͪͧͫ̀̏ͥ͋̈ͥ̀͐ͭ̌͑̕͜͞͞ȇ̷̵̵͈͈̙̤̙͎̥͈̮̰̱ͫ͋̑̌ͮ̌ͥǫ̶̤̯̹͎̗̯̮̳͔̜̜̫̻̰͉̹̤͔̿̍̆̊͆ͬ̓̉͌̀ͮ̍ͣͪ̏̄͌̆̐́͟ ̷̡̢̛̻̖̗̺͎̪̭͙̣̳̋̽̑̊̈͂ͨ̿͆̈́ͤ́d̿ͨ͗̏͐̒́̉̑͝͏̰̯ͅā͖̯̞̬͇̜̜̞̹̠̜̼̦̪͔̝͔͂͊̉̐̔͑̋̅͡͝t̽̽̑̈͋ͭ͐͐̎͊̍͋́̿̐҉̜͈͈̹̭̪̙̱̱͖̫a͔͙̝̭͍͈̪̝̩̹̓̅ͧ̌̐̋̔̀͘͝͝ͅ ̴̛͓͙̻̯̋̑͋̈́̍ͦ͊ͬͩ̈́̚a̢̧͈̮̭̬̜̱̙̫̩͙̯̺̦̪̰͍̲͉̐ͯ̾ͨ͌ͬ̇̄̐ͮ͛ͩ̚̕͡ǹ̵̯͙͓̳̼̥͈̘̬͍̼͖̰̭̟̻ͭͥͣ̆ͭ̃ͧ͂͟͜ͅd̡͍͖̭͚̰̲̹̗̬͖̜̠͕͎͓͌ͫ͗̉̒ͥͨ̒͒̀͝͡ͅ ̬̥͓͚̖̝̺̜̐̄ͦ̆ͮ̅̐́͜͜c̡̛͕̫̠̺͇̗͑ͣ͒̈́̒ͬ́͂̈ͮ͐̆͊̓̆̄̄͟ͅơ̫̤͓̬̤̦̭̝̘͉̝͕͙̗̜ͥ͐̋͛̓̂̊ͨ̍̋ͣͫ̇̎̀ͤ̂̚m̢̥̹̙̠̳̠̱̦̳̾́ͣ̊ͩ̅ͯ͂̿̅͘ṕ̻̠̱̣͉̗͙͉̪́ͩ͒̾̑̅͋ͮ̂ͪ̿̍̔̒̒̕͟͠r̴̨̺̣̝͕͇̟̞͈̘̟̙͐ͦ͗ͨ͛̋ͩ͑͑ͨ̕͟͝ę̢̙̩̖̥̦̳̫͉͍͕͍̬̇ͤ̊͐̃ͪ͆̄̀̈́͊̎̎̉̌̒̚͘͘͢s̨̛̅͌͒̋͏̵̤͔̘̦͕̗͔̪͔̫̼͔͍̫̗̻ͅs̶̟̼͇̬̗̣̦̼̳̬̣̊̐͛̐̍ͣ̃̄̓͑̀̀̾͋ͣ̃ͪ̓̓͠͝ͅȅ̛̀ͦ͂̋̈́ͪͦ͊̅͑̐̌ͤ̿͋ͪͣ͏͚̘̖͉͙̠̱̮̮͓̘d̆̇̅̿̽͂ͦ͌ͯ̊҉̢̨͈̜̘̤͓̥̲͓̘̪̙̮̻̟̥̭͢ͅ ̷̤̦̰͚͓̰̜̱͍̮̳͌ͮ̋̎̃̂ͪ͐̓ͯ̚͠͞o̷̶̟͓̪͎̮̳̫͈̩̥̥͔̠̪̩̪̦͖̍ͭ̒̋ͮͧͯ͗ͬ̈́̎͂͂͢r̪̪͙̥̱̗̘̊ͣ͒̐̅̽ͣ͗ͣ̀̅͑͗͐̊ͣ̆̀͢ ̨̧̮̦̗̺̱͔̟͕̥̩̙̼̪̺̠͎̦̏̅̋̌̍͊ͯͯ̊͒͆͐͊ͮ͘ų̸̵̪͇̙̗̱̟̹̜̼͕͍̓̋̀ͣͪ̈́̉̿̀͢n̷̬̞͉̖͓͍̞͉̺̂̇͗̔ͦ̕͞ͅç̥̫̖͖͚̇̓ͮ͟ͅo̸̪͕̪̦̺͇̥͍̥̣̜͈̗̊ͥͦ̌͒̽̋̎̽̀̉ͪ̋́ͅm̧̥͓̦̝̤̙̰̝̬̯̗͍̔̉͐͂͛ͅpͣͫͬ́͏̷̷̟͙̘̪̜r̯̬̣̥ͩ̓ͩ̇͐̒ͣͭ̈̏̿̈̌ͭ̑͐͂̏ͯ͝ȩ̶̣͉̥̼̺̲̘͈͇̫͒ͯ̍͊̏̓̓͂͗ͦ̑ͦ̈́̌͐̉̔̚͟s̷̡̜̻̮͍̔̌ͦͦ̍̂͐̈́̊̓͢sͬ̔͒̔̔̑͋̌̽̚҉͏̝̙̗̳̩͖̙̲̯̝̘̞̭̣͢͝e̷̸̴͔̹̥̮͖̫͔̱̜̹̣̗̻ͮ̑ͤͨͧͦͭͩ̽̓ͥ̔ͪ̓ͦ̇͊̅͢͝d̷͙͎̯̦̩̙̗͚̺̖͈͚̯̫̰͚̘̊̍̏͑̾̾ͨ͐ͥ͘#+ ̆̅̔ͣͮ̌͐ͤ͑͆҉̶̙̹̩͙̝̦̪̞̣̮̹̣͙̺͕̗dͫ̏͊͆̀͏͝͏̸͕̣̲̬͕̗̙̖͔͓̙̟̖̤̰͕̬̹ͅi̶͚̼̻͙͔̼̤̤̗̙̮̹̱͓̺̗̤̲̝͗ͩ̈̇́̊ͯ̓̓̄ͮ́ĝ̸̸͓̱̩̩̻̲̰̬̺̙̼͇̗̌̒ͬͧͪ̇̅̽ͮͦͬ̐̈́ͯ̏ͤ̔͛̀͘į̷͔̥̘̖͓̖̹̻ͯͯ͊͊ͨ̅͒ͬ̏ͣ̒̉̚ͅt̹̤̤̱̭͕̝ͪ̅̑ͪ̔͗̍̑̋̾ͫ͊ͫ̓̔̓̈́̒̚͘ͅaͩ̎̓ͭ҉̡͔̗̟͎͓̲͍̞̠̥̮͉́ͅl̢̯̗͉̬͉͔̰͎̤ͧ͒͑̾͑̄ͦ̾̉̂͒̒ͯ̊͟ͅ ̸̺̦͈̼͇̺͔̲̘̭̗͙̜̟̰̗̹̒ͣͨ̓̑͆ͩ̄̎̃̈ͩͤ͗ͭ̏͘͠a̠̬̼̹̥̙̭̬̙̤̤̭̲ͧ̏̍̅̇̎̏̇ͫͨ̉̏́͡u͊̈́̀͆͋̈ͬ͒ͭ̊͆̑ͣ͗̄̅ͮ̃͏̸̴̮̟̣̣̹̰̣̱̱͓͢d̀͐̀ͬ̿̔ͤͭ̄̓͆̔̚҉͓͙͚̼̼̞̲͈̜̤̭̟͇͞͡ͅi̸̵̸̮̜̳ͤ͊͋̈́̈́ͯ̊̍̈ͩͦͮ̽̓ͬ͟ͅo̡ͧ̐̓ͯ̐ͦ̌̄̉͆̂͗́͌͐͛͑̃̕͜͏͍̗̙͖̖̫̝͇ ̷̢͙̼̙̗̭̼͔͔̪͙̟̝̞ͦ̈́̐̓̋̅̄͂̏͐̃ͮͦ́̉̑̀̚͡͠d̵̠͙̱̘̼̟̜̮̠̲̫̥̗̹̭ͭ͐́̎͌̉ͫ̑̓͊̚͘ȧͩ͛͋͊͂͒͋ͤ̅͋ͣ҉̸͕̲͙͕ṭ̷̛̟̳̤͋ͭ̐́͞͡a̵̴͋͊̆́̂̊͑̄ͪ͢͏͙̥̩̲̹͔̼̀ ̡̖̙͓͎͖̤͖̬̞̜͚̱̰͎̜͆͂̈́̂̈́̒ͣ̌ͧ̊ͧͭ̀͞ͅf̶͍͖̻͙̯͈̪̜̜͚̠͓̮̅͂͛͒̍ͣ͌͛ͯ̀̚̚͡͞r̡̧̧̢̬͇̳͕̤̯͉̪̙̼̭̻̱̳̜͓̹͉̥͌̌͐̀͐̏̈́ͤ̀ͦ̈̆ͩͨ́̚ô̵̷̴̞̪̲͙̙̖͕͙̗̥̊͛̿̎̄̄̊̄͊̈̄̈̍͗͛͂͛͘͢ͅm̵̸̭̥̮̘̦̀̎̇̏ͨͯͮ̒̉͗ͮ̚͜͞ ̨̧̛̛͓̦͕̫͚͉̰̹͌̂̎̒̀á̧͚͎̱̘̟͕͓͇̤̪̻͕̞̣̯̼͙ͨ͊ͧͬͤ͋ͨ͊ͭ̌̐̍ͫ̄́ͅņ̆̎͊ͣ̆̅͋ͫ͑̑̈҉̼͍̰̜̳͈̗̻̱͈̲̘͖̘͖̮͉͖͘͢ ̭͉͖̜͉̰̱̳̮̮͔̻͇̠͆̍ͯ̐̈́̋ͬͭͪ̿ͤ̊͛̾̑̇͆͝͞H̡͓̪̰̪͕̮̯̫̦̠́͑ͫ͌ͮ͊ͬ̄͒ͧ͐̇̈́ͤ̕͠͝͞Ḑ̡͎̖̭̠͙̤̳̦̘̗̻̜̬̠̬̊̌͑͑ͪͯͭ́͐͑͗́́́͝M̶̢͚̖̼͈͍͎̦̓ͨ̉̀̄̊̌͗͂̅͆̀I͍͎̜̠̦̳̪̼̟̺͇̥̩͛͛ͨͯ̔͑͂̍͒̓̎̿̐ͨ̍̀ͦ̐́͜͟͡͠-̵̡̛̟̱͈̑̇̾ͪ̏̆̈́̄ͤ͆ͥ̂͋ͮ͟c̨̟̯̬̩̯̘̥̥̪̭͍͚͚̹̜͚̘͍̍̿̎ͫ͊̈́ͯ͂̋̒̀̋̄̾͝ͅỏ̸̲̺̼̼̤̘͖̞͖̒̏ͦͩͪͪ͞mͣͦ͊ͭ̉҉̢̨̣̰̭̞̺p̷̂ͦͫ͐̌̈́ͨ̀͞҉̩͙̬̤͖̗̺͕̝l̵͚̟̫͓ͫ̄̓̔ͥͮ̚̚͝į̵̶̘̹͎͔͉̲̳̗̫̯̤͋̏ͥͣͩ̅͋́́a̪̠̜̝̜̲͈̺͎͚̻̘̺̯̥̫ͩͬ̽͊ͦ̑̏̓ͯ̾͆ͦ̀̑ͨ͟͟ñ̷̩̖̝̰̤͎̱̳̥̝͊͋̿͆̓ͣͩ̃͌̎̎ͪ̅̌́t̷̴͍̱̥̗͍͇͔̲͎͈̖̖̘̠̮ͪͪ̎̔̐͆̈̎͗ ̶̡̘̹̮̼͓͚̫̘̖̹̥̤͇̮ͥͫ͂ͤ̉̒͊͆̒̀̒͢ͅͅs̴̢̭̖̥̻͎̟̬̖̞̣̼̠͇͚̟̟͌͌̂͑̍ͫͤ̐͑ͮ̃̚ǫ̷̫̼̙͎̗̙̝̜̲̼̭͍ͦ̒ͨ̑͑̎̿̏̀͘͟ū̸͕̺̖̲̼͕͍̠̣͐ͨͩͪͯͥ̎̄̅ͫ͋ͯ͛ͭ̀̏̌ͧ̕r͓̟̟̺̥̯̭̥͔̘̳̜̭̠̲̰̟̆̎̔͢͠c̷̷̫̖͖̗̫̭͕̟̱͈͎͎͋́̾ͧ͑͆͌͌̓̔̐́͘͜e̍̈ͥ̌̉͛ͭͭͪ̈́ͩ̄̑ͧͧͦ̇҉҉̧̛͍̱̮̺ ̡̡̥̼͚̰̮̒͛ͫ̊ͨ͡d̸̴̮̣̙̮͖͎͔̦̰͈̼̺͈͇̖̹͕̝̅̃ͨͪ͒ͮ̾e̶̶̥̲͕̙̙̺̣͚͉͙̭̜͇͕̻ͬ͒̍͂̑ͅv̵͎̱̥͔͎͍̜ͮ͒ͩͨ̂ͣ̃̈́̈͗ͮͬ̐̇̂̚͠͞i̧̤̘͔͖͓̋̓̔͛͆ͨ̂ͧc̡̞̮͙͓̩̹͉̝̲̣͍̋͗ͪͥ̃͒̓͐ͪ̈́̌̔ͧ̌ͤͬ̚e̵̛̓̓ͫ́ͥ̒̆̂ͧ͏͙̙̖̼̮̬̗̲̟,̴̧̞̪͚̯͇̭̎̆̓̈́̏ͨ̾̈́͊̓̓̆̃̌̔ͅ ͫ̉͌ͯ͐͊͑̅ͣͦ̿͞҉̴̮̘̯͙̰̕s̙̯͉̮̫̯̙̱̮͖̜͍̝̳̜͈ͣ̇̄̇͜͞ͅu̸͒̾ͭ̈́҉̯͎̭͎͇̪̻̭̘̳̞͖̯̯͉̹̪̯ç̠̟̜̙̠͚̪ͯ̀̎̀͞h̶̴̛̤̼̗̝͔͖͇̫̙͖̝̼̦̯̼͎̪̤̓̒ͬ̌ͮͯ̈́̇ͧͬ͂͌̚ͅ ̢̛̓̎̌̇ͮ̂͞͏̫̣̱͍̟̭̝̭̫̗̠̳̮͉̗ͅä́̐ͥ̑̒̄̾͑̅ͬͨ̃ͪͧͩͯ̈́̈́̾҉̡̣̥̜͎͉̠̝̘̱̹̘̠͕͖̖͓͜s̵̤̹̭̻ͮ̋̌͒̽ͥ̅́ͅ ̡ͬ̀ͧ̋̓͂̎̑̔̔̋̓́ͪ̈҉̜̠͉̫͔̹͖͙͉͓͓̥̮̪͕̗̮͍a̵̭̩̼͓͇͉͚͍̱̺͙̦̜̻̻͍̻͈͊͛̓ͤ͐̈̓̅͒͌̂̍ͨͧ͂͒̐ͪ̂̕͢ ̜̭̞͕̥̗̣̻̫͕̦̠͉̗̞̓͒ͩ͛̔ͫͬͫͬ̉ͯ̒ͨͨͬ͝ͅd̵͒̃̂̄͞͝҉̶̰̞͉̤͚̼̹i̴̧͊ͧ̐̾ͨ̏̈́ͯ̐ͫͦͥ̐̎̉̋͟͞҉͎̣͈̞̹̟͉͎̙̹͓̝̥̮͉͕̻̟s̭̗̖̟͚͎͔̗̫̼̙̻̊ͧͯͬͯ͗̀͢͜ͅp͒ͥ̑͐ͩͣ̈́҉̷͏͕͔͓̘̦̝̫̠̝͈̪͇̬l̶̵͔͈̘̟̳͓̯̰͖̺̼̪̟̣̂̆̎̑ͨ̽ͭ̿͗̔̐͛̒̈́̾̿ͣ̚͟ḁ̵̢̛̮̺̦̖͔̲̮͚ͯ̅ͮ̑̃ͮ̓̏͘͞y̋̆͛ͩ̈̌̿̆̐͛̽̏ͩ́͏҉̸̯̭̹̟̪̲̗͉͕̼͚̼̠̦͜ ͧ̋́͂̾ͫ͗ͪ̀͡͏̙͈͓̥̟̤̻͎̳̫̖͙̼̼̝̫̰ͅc̸̶̴̴̡̤̱͓̖͙̩͎̲͈̋͛̓̌̒͂̈̅̆̎͊ͪ̐̇̆͐ͧ̊o͚͚̬͖ͧ͂ͭ̇̄͑͐ͩͦ̈̉̎͗̈͒̍͢ñ̬͖̘̩̱̣̞̒͒ͧ̈͗̂̍̾̆̎̽̑ͧ̆́̐̚͜͡t̴̹̩̟̺͓̣͈̝͖ͣ͊ͮͨ̏̅͆̚͝ͅr̵̤̱̼̻͌͆̌̋́͢͡ȏ̴̴̙̙̙̙ͩ͐̈́̃̔̂̓͐̀͗̌̃͌͞ḷ͙͙̙͍ͥͩͧͬ͊͌̀͐̄̀̀͠l̨̟̲̪͕̣̱̖͎̲ͦ͐̃̓͜͝͞ę̡͚͕͍̟̥̱̿̽͌̂ͭͥͨͭ̑ͨ͐̇̕͞͞r͗̒͐̒̿̋̅͗͂̂͂ͯͭ͏̙̗̫̮͖̮̬̻͓̫̪͚̜̦͇̱̭͈͈,̴͓̮̮̘̥͙̣̭͔̦̗͈̹̓́͒ͯ̑̍ͩ͌̔ͯͤ͑͋̑̓̊̉͋̀͡ ̵̢̡̻͍̖̩̭̳͉͕̦͔̖̆ͤͭ͒̀̂ͨ̌ͨ͋ͯ̌̇̈͋̚ẗ̷͓̬̙̻͚̳͔̻̃ͮͮͥͬ̃̿̐̀͜o̸̸̯̥̥̬̫ͯ̿̑̆͑ͫ̽̒̓͌̐̒͊́̋̚ ̴̡̘̮̭̼̠̣̒̇́̍ͯ̾̐ͫ͛̃͐̀͒ͬ̃̋̒̊̀̚͜͟ą̛͉̩̞͍̙̰͙͇̠̫̰̭͈̟̬̤̳̥̈́̉ͣ͗̋̑̓ͦ̐ͩ̾̐ͨ̃ͧͬ̚͞ ̭̣̖̞͍̘̥̻̥ͪ̉̉͋̔ͣ̈̀͜͝͠c̡̙͙͈̝̺̫͖͓̭̻̺͇ͨ̈́͌ͪͩ͌͑̇̑̑̈̀ő̶̢̃ͨ̾͊̑ͬ̍͗ͣ͆̒̂҉̭̞̩͔̹̜͚̯̹̰̻ͅm̢̌̂̏͂̂̓̏̅͌͐ͫ͗̀͏̭͔̫̦̹̹̣̣̩̮̱̙̦̼p̱̹̫̯̤̬ͮ͂͆̊̎̽ͯ̽ͥͤ̕͡a̶̺̖̣͙̦̾̃̿ͯͣ̅͞t̀̔̀̀̚͞͏̸̧̫̬͔̩i̽ͨ͌̎̉̋̿̎̍ͥ͊̆̇͆ͬͫ́̆҉͝͏̥̟̦̝̳̯̖̥͕̥̰̺̪͍͇̣̙̱b̨̧̨͕̭̜͔̱̲͈̣̼̪̙̘̘̓͋͆͋͡ͅͅḽ̶̠̫̻̣͔͎͓̰̔̒̓̓ͧͪͭ̿ͮ͗̔̚͝ḙ̶̢̱̱̠̝̰̯̤̺͙͔̰̟̯̜̜̥́ͨ̄̈́̏ͦ̈́̈́́ ̷̧̰̖̥̳̠̭͓̅̉̆̆̃̃̔͑̍̃̔ͩ̒ͦ́̔͘c̨̯̻̤̜͔͕͎̣̮̙̜̑̄ͣͪͫͩ̕o̧̖̖̣͇̬̣̙̼͍͈̰̩̲̭ͪ͛̾̆̅̈́̍̆̒̌̾͜͠m̨͇̦͓͕͙̮͔͖̗̺͕̜̿̽̓͑̄͐ͦͭͨ͌̌̀͋͆ͪͨͦ͢͢ͅͅp̓ͦ́ͤͨͯ̃̉̂̈́̈͘͏̴̸͚̪̝̝̰͚͍͔̺̞̖͝ͅư̸̜̠̳͖͖̞̼̝̍̓̃ͩͥ̍ͨͥͨ͒̈́̓͟͡͠ͅṭ̵̪̝̭͔̟̞̄̋̑ͨ͒̂̆ͭͩ̈ͨę̛̥̦͉̩̱̪̖͙̦̦̺͈̤͍͈͙͕̄ͯ̑͂̒̈̇͂̽ͤ̚͟͝r̨̢̛͗̇ͨ͗̏̈́̑͒͏̖̳̙̙̟͖̙̣͘ ̵͓̣͉̬͚̺̮̬̱̑̎̏́̀͑͡͞ͅͅm̷̡̛̜̝̹̰͕̫͎̆̈́̽͋͢o̸͙̻̬͕̥͍͛̔̒̈́͆̏͒ņ̸̛͚̮̰̹̦̯̭̪̺͕̻̣͙͌͋͒ͫ͛͟ï̛̪̖̹͎̗̒ͭ̌͂̈́̽͒ͥ̍ͤ͛́͜ţ̾͛̿ͬ̔ͨ̇ͧ̅ͪ̄͌ͨ̾̚͟͡͏̢̺̩̬͈̭̖͇͙̼͖ǫ̵̴̻̤͍͇̠̮̦̫͓̪̰̹̭̱̍ͪ͛r̎͗͂̍ͧ̌̓͂̃̒͐ͮ͒ͥ̏͏̶̧̛͚̲͕͇̝,͒ͥͣ̈́̌͑͊̑͑҉̶̦̝̜͕̕ ͚͚͈͓̗̱͇̖̰̦͖͛ͬ͆̈́ͧ́͛ͥ̄̎̑̔̇̀́͘v̔̇͛̈̓ͭͯ҉̢̟͔͓͎̗̮̩̩͘į̷̛̪̻̞͙̞̻̲̬̜̝̮̬͖̜ͪ̑ͩ̌̅ͥ͞d̴̢͔̼̱̰̤̼͕͕̩̥̤͔̱͗̃̆̾̚͟͠ę̛̝͍̹͔̻̜̤̳̮͙͙̼͈͍̗̿ͦͩͥ̋̈̊ͩ̽̌̎̏̍ͥͯ̂̚͡o̴̹̫̲͓̣͉̼̯̟͌͗̐̄̄̽͌ͦ̐̎̇ͪ̿ͣ̎̅͌͂͗͟ ̴̵̧̦̝̫̰͓̻̰̳͉͔̙͖̹͈ͤ̋ͭͮ͋̿̒̑͗͊́̃̀p̛ͦͥ͆̂ͭ͒̅̋̍̂̓ͦͬ̒͊̚҉͕̱̲͉͈̼͚̙̰̟͙͎͍̯̟̼̮r̵̡̢̧̻͓͙͓͙̺̜̜͍̲̥̲͍̺̍̏ͨ̾ͩ͑̂̽ͥ̌ͯ̃͐̆̚͢ͅơ̶̼̠̺̽̿̑͛ͨ̃j̓ͯͪ̀̀ͤ̊̾ͮͩ͐ͥ̋͊̚͏̸͖̥͍̟̹̫̞͔̯̺͖ë́̄̋̿͆̾͌ͯ͛̂̉͂͗́́́͟҉̦͖̠̻̝͚̟̜̘̻ç̻̩̳̲͚̺̖͕̙̙̦̫̄̏ͥ̿͘t̵̷̢̬̜̥̗̙̗̝̱̪̬̪̩̬̺͛ͨͭ̇̑̇ͯͧ͞o̴̟̱͍̺̝̜̩̫̣̹͖̼͍̳̬̗̮̟̍ͫͩ͛͊ͬ̀̎ͨ̽ͫ̑͟r̷͓͉̯̜̞̯̼͉̤̱̮̟̒ͨ͆̀ͩ̊̔ͫͫ̈́̌͌̈́ͧͨ́́͢͡,̛͐̀́̀̋̓ͤͣ̇̈́̚͏̸̫͓̰͔̥̥̩͉̫̲͖̜͇͡ͅ# ̾͌̀̎̀҉͓͓͕̰͉̬́d̷̴̸̢͇̲̞͎̲͍̫̥͚̬̥͈͉ͥͧ͌ͪͫ̐͘iͫ͆͌͒͏̶̨͖̳̥͕̠͓͙̥̪͢g̈́ͨ̽͏̨̛͏̮̖̫̥̲͍̘͍͕ǐͨ͊̊̀͋̈́ͦ̿͊͌̄̍̈́̆̈́̄͗͜҉̥͙͍͔t̡͚̫̣̼̫͇͈̜̤̥̫̙̖̦̺͌̃͑̉̅ͥ́ͭ̀̒͋͊̏͑ͨ̓̎̚͟͝ả̫̦̪͙͚͓̠͚̩̯̓̽̄̊͊͑̅̽̒͒͋̎̇͠͡l̷̢̗̥̳͖̤̘̼̭̰ͥ͐̐̉̎̉̓̇̋ͯ̇̃͞͝ ̐͒̉̀͋́̂͑҉̛̟̱͇͚̯͙̪ͅt̵̵̢̲̤̼̘͈̮̥̝̭̙̘̳̣̟͕̭̱̦̿ͨ͆ͧͪ͌̑̚ê͕̞̻͖͙̏ͤ͛͗͐ͣ̏̋̂̑͐̄͐̆̃̆̃͢͞͡l͓̻̞͚̩͕̰̩̣̼̫̹̉̇̓̆ͨ͋͑͂͑́ͪͮ̆̀̚͞͡e̵̵͈͉̫͇ͫ̅ͫͮͪ̾̀̑ͮ͒̾̑̽̉̽͗̋̚͞ͅv̸̧̖̪̥̣̠̜̇͐ͭ̎͑̈́͒̿ͥͬͥ͗͛͗ͤ̓͛ͧí͒̽̌ͪͤ̇͐ͮ̽̎̓ͤ͑ͯͫͫ҉̰̙͖͓͔̣̜͍̗̺͚̩͝s̵̸̜̰̖̩̥̗̺̪̭̘̤̥͉̪͙͓̓̂̾ͨ̓͐̊̽͋̊̎̄́͜͞͡ï̷̽̒̎ͣ͛ͧ̄͋̚͏̷̳̺̩̳̺̭̘͙͔̹͍̞̥̥̮͇̕͝ͅo̴͚͉̻͎̘̬͙̩͖͙̘͎̤͓͉̙ͧ́͌ͩ̐͂͐̽ͧ͌ͫ͗̂́͒̈́̀ͅn̴̛͕̣̩̘ͬ̿ͨ͂̈́̐͗͗̉ͬ̇̆̕,̢̢̗̱̹̩̒ͣͤͯ͐̋͗̿ͧͭ́͜͜͟ ̧̠̦̳̟̭̝ͨ͒̇ͧͬ̑̅̐ͩ̈́́͘͝o̟̥̞͖͎̩̩̹̙ͣ́ͨ̏̆͂̒́ͅr̸̛̲̰͇̣̻̪̺͙̖̱̙̤̠͈ͤ̏̊ͯͦ̍̊́ͫ̇̾͆ͣͧ͒͊̕͞͠ͅ ̷̡̢̛̻̖̞̜͍̼̣̳̝̩͖̩̬̜̎̔̽̈́̋̑͂ͪ͐̄̆ͯͬͧ̅͌ͅd̷̴̢̫͖͇̣̖̻̪̗͎̳̜̮̃͒̒ͫ̄͐̓ͧ̒̚iͫ͆͛̊͏̸̘̻̠̲̭̣͕̹̺̜̥̙̭̭̭͍̦͜͜ğ̻̬̝̰ͤ͌͒ͯ̽́͂̊͐̀̚͞͠i̷̧̱̰͎̖ͭ̈́͒ͧ̏́͟tͨͨ͂ͪ̓̑͆̈ͫ̚͏҉̭̪̰͔͍͚̮̣ȃ̡̖̬̘̻̼͓͈ͩ̾ͦ̔̓̐̒̈ͥ̂̅̍͗̔̄͘͞͞͝l̨͆͒͗̀͑͐ͤ͗͌̄͛͟҉̦̱͇̤͕̲̝̙͉̲̜̙̦̲̜̠ ̵̸͈̯͙̗͈̱̖̳̰̮̝̩̹̹̬̗͛̂̅̑̃̆ͭ̒̎͊ͣ̔̑ͩ̀͠͞ã̵͖̭͎̘̯͙͚̹͔̜̖̼͉̫͎̞̫̗̖͆ͣ̒ͫ̅̏̐͒͜ȗ̵̻̜̘͖̜̪̩̰͔ͦ̇ͨ͗̆ͯ̓ͮ̋̏̂̆̉͗̊͂̏͘͝d̴̯̭͉̞̥̲̻͈̣͙̥̥̗̘̝́̊̄̔ͤͧ͌͋̽ͦͮ͌͘ͅi͊́̔ͩ̅ͣ̔̇̐҉̝̝͔̭̩̖̕͟͟o̴̧͕͔̯̰̞͕͓̪͙̔̒̇̐ͤ̍ͤ̂͒ͦ̚̕͞ ̵̢͕̝͙̼͇̮ͨͪͫͨ̄͒ͧ̀͌͑ͯ̽ͧd̸͖̮̟̻̮̰̺͖͈̲̱̟͈̉ͩ̈͛̉̇̍̄̑ͦ̀ͤ̕͢͠͡e̸̹͚̮̟̩͖̳̦̮͗͊̒̾̐ͦͮ̏͛̅ͩͪ̚v̥̦̝̦̬̪̮͖̦͊̌ͦ̄͐ͧ̅͂͗̽́̕̕͝ͅi̩̰͚̗̹̟̬̩͖̮̟̮͎͉͙ͥͥ̔́̌͑̓̈́̌͠͠͠c̡̃͋̑ͣ҉̰̣̹͚͖̝̺e̵̵̡͍̜̘͕͖͈̞̥͉̲̹̭̗̞͊̐ͩ̂͌ͤͣ̽ͯͬͫͤͣ̍ͧ̔ͧ̑́͡.̴͉̖̣̺͉̘͕̬̣̦̘͓̦͖͓͖͕̜̿ͩ̎̄ͦ̂̈́̎̉ͮͪ̽̓͡[̵͓̞̹̤͇͈̖̯̦̥̥̮̭̞̮͔͕̗̓̓ͨ͌ͣ̔̿͑̏̂ͪ͆̎̒̇̅͒͟4̶̵̵̧̛͖̺̻͇̹̤͉̘̲͖͉͖̿̅̅̿̈́͐͛͛̓̒̓̃̉́͒͒̀̀]̗̩̱̻͔̝̠̙̥̦̥̮̣̤̖̘̃͗ͣ̋͑̐́͂͛͐̀͑̀̚͘ͅ ̈̍̏̈̍̌̔ͤ̇̊̃͊̍͛̒̈ͮͮ͆҉͟͝͏̟͈̲͉̗̞̪̖͙͔̖̲̻̺͇̞̻̘H̵̵̹͓̱͙̖̳͖̬̹̳̟̹̯̥̪̫̺͔̹̀ͧ͊̓̑̓̇̿͘̕D̶̡̯̻̬̱̩͕̝̫ͤ̌̽́̔͆ͨͬ̆ͪͧ̽̈́́M̧͚̹̲̺̳̤̦͔͚̹̥͉̼͔͓͈͈̎ͩ̌͑͗̄ͤ͡I̢̯̙͇͙̦͕͈̩̭͓̺͉̟͓̗̿͋̑̃ͭ̂̑̒̍͒͊̚͜͠ ̴̸͚̠͍̻̘̰ͪ̆ͧ̀̅ͭ̓ͩ̾̇͟͢i̡͙̫̱̙͚̻̤̹̩̞ͭͭ͆̑͋̀͋ͬͤͭ̚͝s̵̺͕͈̟͍̗̻̯ͭͫ̽̐́͜͜ ̧̡̛͒ͫͨ̇̐́҉̗̟͔̲̻a̶̶͕̖̺̫̰̯̟͇͎̪̠̰̙̮͇̐̈́ͬ͆̔ͪ́ͪͯ́̈̈̌͗̍ͥͧ ̷̧̧̖̻͈͔͓͎̜͕̻̬̳͉̆̄̾͋ͪ̔̐̉ͣ̐̓ͬͩ̚͜͢d̢̢̟͈̦̩͎̳̮̠̬͙̙̥͖͚͚̭͔̎͊͌ͫ̾ͧ̃̆͋̉̄ͭͩͦ̆͛̚̚͘͠i͂̓ͨ̈̎́̆͗̐̅͐͑̐̄̈́̊ͩ̃͝҉̖͍̹̲͇̰́gͬͧ̇̓̓̿̎̈́̄̏ͫ͛ͭ̚̚҉̨̤̭̘̰͖̯̹͖̮̗̬̝͜͠i̷̻̠̩̮̱̻͔͓̫͐͌ͧͪ̍͋ͣ͐͐̾́̚͞ͅt͂̎ͦ́ͣ̎ͣ͋ͮ͊ͥ͗̓ͧ̊ͨ͊ͨ̀̀͠͏̧̩̣͉̬͈̤̘͈̬̳a̶̷̷͍͇̭̼͖͓̠͉̬̗͈̝͚̗̬ͤ͐̋̽̄ͦ͆̍͐̽̾͌ͯ͘͘ľ͇̭̦̟͎͉̹̅̌̂͋̊̌̔ͮ̉̏̄͑̊̎̓͗̚͟͠ ̴̴̴̧̠͇͎̙̠̭̘̙̮̣̌͒͋ͯ̽̂ͦͩ̓ͬ͆̊̈͞r̷̢̳̞̥̺̻͇̥̝̠ͥ̏͋ͪ̌̅͛̇̚͢͠͠eͧ̇̎̔͐͊̐ͭͭ҉̛̲̲̱̠̗̗̲̠̮͍͕͇ͅp̢͛̈̈́́҉̵̷͈̠͎̱̼̭̥̣̟̳̪͖ͅl̃̆ͯ̊̾̐ͬͦ̎ͣ͗̐҉̢͚͈̺̫̗͚̣͡ͅa̦̜̲̪͍̳̗ͧ̈ͬ̊̂͂ͨ͒̎̈̎͂̕͘͢͠͠c̓̎ͥͣͥͩ̍ͫͧ̑͏̧̛̠̣̖͕̳̤͖̙̳̯̟͙͚̣̰e̷̗̪̞̮̻͚͇̖̙̮͇̜͇̖̞͈͖̱̽̈ͭ͌̾̾̑ͩ͘m̶̛̮͓͈͈̞͒̒ͫ̄ͮ̌ͯ̉̔̒͛̍̒̀̔̓ͩ̾͘̕͡

With a rubber spatula? Ha! I haven’t heard that twist before.

Thanks for the audio interface advice! Listen to this guy everyone!

J͖̭̫͎̤̰̄́͒͒̅̏̓͞u̬͔͔̲̅̒̊͂͐͛͢͟ş̷̩͍̙́̀̀̾͗͜͞t̨̧̼̩̯̜̦̯̞̫̊̎̏̎͛͡ M̸̧͍͈͍̗̾̾͐͑́̐̕͢ͅö̥̮̝̩͖̠̼̜̟̳͐͑͌̄ń̷̻͖̘͍̫̻̩̞́́̂̏̂̐͝į̴̢̛̹̮̙̱̆̉̽́̊k̸̙͚͈̘̰̘͇̻̓̅̈̒͊́́̋͑͢ą̛̗͍̼̗̜̞̈͋̓̑̑̇̀̽͢͟.̶̫̳̱̥̜͛͆̓̄̋̍ͅ

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how do you type like this!

क̢̡ृ̴̸͠प̀͢͏̶य̶̧͏̵͜ा҉ ͝प̷्̨͜͝͡͡र͟͏͝त̶̸̀͘ी̀क्̨͢͟͜ष͘͜͡ा̢́͏ ͠҉क̵̨͏̛́र̴̴̨̛͝े̡͟͜͞ं̢́͠,̸̧ ̨́̕͝ह̸̵̵͠ि̡͜ं̕͡͠द͏ी̸̧͘ ̵̧भ̶̢̕͜ा̛͠҉ष̶̨̀͢͢ा̨́͠҉ ̡̀͠͞͠क̢̀ा̷̧́͞҉ ̡͡͏̷अ̴̕͟͏न̷̡̀͝ु̷͟͟व̴̀͘ा̴̧̧̢द̴̕ ̶̢ल̸̨͞ो͏̵̶͝ड̴̷ ̷̷̶̕̕ह̨͜ो̡҉̸ ̴̴͢र̴̡̡̛͡ह̷̛͟͟͞ा̴̛ ̀҉̴̡͜ह̧͠ै̷͠҉͘क̸̡̕̕͢ृ̴̧̢͜प̸̷͟य҉͏̸ा͢͞ ͜͝҉̷प̶̡͜͏्̛͘͟र͏̵͏त̷̕͞͠ी̀͢क̵्́͟͠͞ष̵̴̡ा̷̛̀ ̷͏͏क̷̡̧̛र̷͟͝े͢͠҉ं҉̶̴,̵ ̡͏ह̴̡̢͜ि̷͜͝͠ं̡̛̀́द͏́ी҉͘̕ ̀͠भ̶̶̡̡͟ा̨̢͢ष̡͟ा̨̕͠ ̴͡क̀́́ा̡̢̀ ̷͘͟अ͏̸͜҉͝न͏̛͘ु҉̡́͘͘व̡̕͡ा̨̧द҉̨ ̢͟ल̢̛͘ो́͝ड̢̧̀͢͢ ̷̕ह̸̕͞ो͏̷͝ ̵̵̶̨͘र̵̵̕͡ह̵̷̢͢ा̢͘ ̵́ह̧̧ै̴̧क̷̛͢͠ृ̢̨̨प҉̢͘͠य̴ा͘̕͜҉̧ ̀͘प̸̸̴̷्̢̢̡́͢र̶̧̢त̸̵̶͟͡ी̶̴̛͡͡क̵̴̴̷्̀͜ष̴̛͘͟ा͏̡̧͟ ̸͜क̴́र̶̧̛̕े̴̨̛ं͟͡,̴̧ ̨̕ह́ि̢͟ं̶̨̀द̧̧̕ी̶̴̸͜ ͘͏भ̸͠͠ा̴́̕͝ष͏̛ा̴̢̧ ̧͝͝क̸̷̛͝ा҉̀ ̛͞अ̨न̸͠͝ु̛̛̛̀व͘͘ा̸͡͏̀द̷̵͜͜͠ ̧̢ल̛́͢͠ो̴҉͏҉ड̧̛͘͠ ̵́́͘ह̴̧ो̢̛͘ ̨̡̧́͡र̨ह̵̸ा̴̡̀͜͢ ̧̧̡̛͜ह̕͘͟ै͘͡क̸͘͜ृ́प̧̀͠य̷͞ा̀ ̨̀́प͏्̧̢र̸̀҉̀त̀͢ी̵̡̨̧क̸̸̴̶्̡̛͜͢͟ष̨̛ा̷̧͜͞ ̷̸क͠҉̨̛͝र̷̧े̢ं͜͡͏,͏҉̕ ͏̶̀́ह̢͢͠ि̨̕͟ं̛̀͏͠द͟͟͠ी̢̛͡ ͟͠भ̶͝ा̕ष̶̴̴̷ा̧̧͘͡ ̷́͡क̶͢ा͡҉ ̸̧̧̢अ̸̨̨̧न͝͠ु̷͟व̨̛͜҉ा͏̷̧͟͡द̴҉̴͝ ̵͢͞ल҉̴̷́͜ो̡ड̵̶̀҉ ̷ह̶̛̀̀͟ो̸̵̡̀͞ ҉҉́̀र̶̶̨͡͡ह҉̨͠҉ा͜͏ ̡͘͢ह̶̧̕͢͝ै̨́͟

oh..nice..thanks

My dearest Char'grath'eithera̶̼̘̝̖ͅs̺ț͉͔̹̩͛͛h̩̋̆̂ō͎ͭͅr̞̜͈̰̱̄ͫ̀͢ͅ'̝̏ͭͬ̎̈̊ͭs̳̱̼̙̳͢'̅̋d̳ͦ̔̇ͣ̏̅̇͠ã̶̻̹̠̠̠̟̣̉ͬ̄͛ͪ͠v̰̣̦̮̞̐ͨ̏̀ͥ͗͗̄́́o̧̙̞̦̹̤̝͕͊̓́͜ͅḽ̷̢͉͚̂ͯ̚d̡͎̫̗͚̦ͣ̊ͮͣ̅̊͞͠ͅo̫̟ͬ̑̈́̀͜'̪̣̟̻̹̥ͤ̅̓͒̍͘d̢͉͉̟̳̲̠̒͒̇ͦ̌̄ͫͨ͛o̰͕̘̝̼͎ͧͨͪ͛͐͆̋̆̈r̻͚̰͖̽͐ͥ̈ͧ̔̊ͪ͑͜ȉ̡̲̥͍̘̗̹̜̽ͦa̠̙ͪͭ̓ͥ̉͋ͪ̕̕͠ţ͖͖͉̭̊h̜̥̘͔̺͊ͨ̑ͯ̀̋̆̎,

It is very much a pleasure of mine to be making acquaintances with you. I am very much glad that we are able to bond over the fact that we both have very unique and rare ~~method of other people smacking their lips, and twisting their toungue to produce a sound which we recognize as them attempting to gather our attention~~ names

It’s very hard to pronounce my name.... correctly.

T͎̫̖̲̤ḩ̸̴̩̯̜͍͍̖̹ę͎̜͓̱̮ ̙̟̻͚͉̩̱̫͠ͅF̴͇̜͈͙̩͖͞ͅi̷̲̯͢ț̜͉̜̲̩̹̝͍͞n͏̨̘͇̳̤͡é̟͙̝̟͖̟̗͞s̸҉͓͓̲͕s̶̨̠̩̱̦̪̜̯͓̲G̢̟̫̞̪̳̜̩̟ŗ̡͇͍̗̗͡a̵̧̦͔̝̥̤̗͠m̷͉̫͈̖͘ ̸͉̜̦̼̥͠P̧̩̖̠͡a̰͎c̸̛̫̠̝̩̳̤̹e̟̳̤͓͈̣̳̗r̡̪̬̭̘̟͞ ̶͔̭̕͜T͍͈̪̪̭̝̱̙̕͝e͈̘͓͍̩͇͖̖̠͞s͎͎̰̕͘t̛̮͙̺̬̤̭̭͞ ͔̪́ͅi͔͔̲̯͉͟͞s̵̬̪̩͇̞̪̟ ̮̝̼͔̠͉͘ͅą̵̙̙̭̳͍̫̝͓ ̻͟m͓͚̳̟͉̬̙u͏͉̹̰͍̬ļ̠̳̱t̨̛̬͖͚̦͔̳̦͡i̱̠̘̻͉̗͙s̩t̷̖̙͓̣̥͟a̢̺̙g͇̫é̹̙̯̺ ̡̲͖̭͚͢a͏̜͈e̡͎̜͍͖͓ͅŕ̷͙̣̥͍̗̼͔̘́o̟͈̣̮͔͚̥̭͜͠b̶̧̹͙̻͖͇̺̮i̯̫̗̺ć̡̲͉ ̹̯͍̱͈̩͉͓͢͠c̤̰͎͎̙̫̖̰͠a̡̬͔̲̣̣̼p̮̼͓̺̫̫̩a͏̟̻̝̕ć̻̬̯ͅi̯̹̳͔͔͍͚̖ṯ͇́y͏̲͖͔ͅ ̤͍̙̱̭͍͢͠t̤̮̗͕͖̹ͅe̮̺̱͙̪͘ͅş̨̬̤̩̣̻͉̥͕t̡͎͖̪͚ ҉̢͈̪̭̺́t̴̙͈̼h̠͕͝a͖̲̘̱̮͈͇̕͢t̶͖̼̖̹͟͝ ̷҉̣̙͍͔̤̼͝ͅp̀̕҉̣̫̳̹͍͕͕̱r͈̩̥͖̹̤̭ͅọ̧̯g̶̶͉̬͚̦r͘͜͏͎̬͕e̟͈̩̦̫̠͎͎͟͟s̶̤̩̝͝͡ś̰͔̤͙i͚̘̯͔͔̠̥̩v͈͔̬́͟e̸͙̰̤l͟͏҉̞͚̥͚̹̖̣̥͈y̭̳̳̕͜ͅ ̥̦̳͎͕̙̣͞g̯̝̤̘͎̤̝̀͠e҉͍̖̯͔͉͙̤t̞͎͓̘͔̩̮͞ş̧̹̼͎̥̜̘͎͈ ̱̬m̦̜̘̪̱̀o̲͉͖̗̭͞r̵̻͇̦̰͞e̶͚͚̬̳ ̵̬͉̦̲d͖̫̺̖̣̣̭i̶̞͇͚̞͖̺̞̫͡f̬͕̞̹̼̩̥̼͟͞f̪̗̝̭̤̀͘i͞͏̰̥c̢̨̲͇̪̖̥̠u̳̲̝͘ḽ̛̗͜ͅt͏͏̺͍̭͙̮ ̸̮̠͉̞ͅa͍̻ș̮̮͇̟̼͘ ̶̛͇̭͎̞ì͕̥̦͖͞t̢̯͍͉̹̲̥ ̸̳̮͍͈c̷̛͙̞̲̻̯ǫ̲̣̠̻̘́͢n͓̺͇̙̥͘͞t̰̰̞̤̮͠͝i̛̪̹̻̦͢͝n̤͙̮͘ṷ̜̯͍e̫̫̠͚̫̞s͏̧̪̟̝͜.̴̬ ͚͙̕͡T͚͓̺h̶͈͇͙̟̥e̡̥̗͖̻̙͓̥̲̕ͅ ͏҉͇2̴̰̞͉̫̗̝0͔̥͢͞ ̮̥̦̠͍̦̠͔̤̕m̡̛̼̪̫̠͉̤͇e̳̭͎̰̣̖̠t̟̙̖͜͝è̹̺̫͉͘ͅr̶̺̳̱͘ ̶̰̕p͝҉̝̟̫̞͖a̫ç͕͕͙̥̣͕͠e̡̱͙̬̳̬͈̖̦r̸̡̫̦̯͕̤̦̟͚͟ ̤͖͙̥͚̥͟t̶̲̖ȩ̼̼̙̯̣̺̕s͚̱͔͚t̘̦̪̹͞ ̖̖̗́ẉ̶̺̣̗̜̻̼͢͝i̡̫̫̟l̷̡͓̩̦̰͕͜l͜҉͚̰̭͠ͅ ̢̙̞̩͕̀b̤̜́ę̠̼̜͈͢g͓͈̣̗̻̬ͅi̧̲̰̝̱̠͢͡n̷͙̭̘̦̮̞̻̘͘ ̜͉͔̞i̴̛͍̠̦̩̯̬̳̩ǹ̵̸̻͍̲͎ͅ ̱̤̗̙͕̭3̯͔͎0͏̴̨̩̱̳̟͓̙ͅͅ ̯͝s̟͓͎̘̫̞̮̀ȩ̛͖͖͚́c̵̪ơ҉͖͇̭͖̙̖n̛͏͓̲̰̪̣͈͍d̹̟͕͕̝̗͠͞s̪̻͖̻͙̜.̷̟͉̟̝̻ ͙͢L̙̲ì͇̰͓͍n̖̼͟e̤̦͓̥ ̷̨̹̖͉̙u̵͖͚̞̺͙̩̺̦͞p̨̬͚ ̸̡̛͙̪̼̺a͖͈̬̻̪̖͕͍t̤̘͓̫̜̀̕͠ ̰̳̹͚̺͚̦͜͢ț̨̮̗͟ͅh̴̘̖̤͕̼̠͔͔ḙ̪̻͎̙̖͖̻ ̡̩́s͏͕͔̞̩͢ţ̸͎̖͚̻̪̠͓̀a̗͎̦̬̹͈ŕ̢̭͓̥̠̱͖̣̳t̶͚̣̘̺̟.̧̤̩͔̖̗̝͉͈̕ͅ ̨̱̼͇͟͡T͜͏̳̣̰̝͖̯͓̤̬h̨͔̖̱̭̜̳̪ȩ͏̰̮̭̙̘̘̮͞ ̛̟̟̤̩r̠̮̥̕ų̙̥̟͍̮̺͉̗͢n̢̳̤̦n̵͚͓͈̠i̷̭̥̩͕̠̤͇͘ǹ͙͇́g̸̵̗̠̣̹̳͓͟ ̶̛͎̭̱s̫̥̙̟͔͠ͅp҉̮̱͇̞̩̺̳̹ͅé͎̪̫̖̭̠̩e͚̜̮͔̘d͓͕̗͓̲̥ͅ ̷͈͖̫s̵͎͎̥͕͝t̸̡̫͎̯͍͔́a̶̟̼̥͖̖r͏̛̛͔̟͕̖̻̬̰͖t̷̡̹̦̹͟s̷̼͈̹͢ ̰̼̞s͚̩̤̯̞̣̤̀l̵̵̖͞o͖ẉ̵̡͇̥͖͘l̸̛̦̠̫̙y͓̰͕͙̗̜̙͓ ̀҉͈͕b͏̶̛̲͔͚͔̼̗͚̰̮ụ̥̣̩͚̠͔̟̹͞ṱ̩͖́͝ ͏̮͇͕g҉͔͇̩̮͕e̞͈̱̘̳̟͇̩͖t̘̝̻͝s̗͖̖͠ͅ ͖̰̭̙̦̹̟͕f́͠҉̰͙̜͍͓̼ͅa͙̭̭̫͖̪̙̖̘͞s̛͚̩̖t̰̤͎͟͝͡e̼̖̗͈̻͜ṟ͓̱͘͘͜ ҉̙͍̲e҉̭͇̺̹̠̤͜a̶͍̰͍̠̘͈͠͝c̮̱̥͇̟̳̀͜h̰̬̟̫̟̦̯͜͡ ̡͚͙̮̩͍̝̕m̛͔̗̟͟͝i̸̘̱̪̺͘͡n͚̗̞̮̙̙̭̜ų̢̮̟͉̬̥͎́t̴̜̠͉̪̜͔̠̙͜ͅe͔̮̹͇̤̕ ̢̯̗̦̫͈͠a͓̙̞͈f̬̯̹̭̠̣̘͜͟t҉̣̝̪̱͜e̷̡͙̮̦͔̝͓͙͜r̵̶͎͈͜ ̴̢̭̙͔ͅy̵̗̝o̝͜u̷̺̘͔̻͚̭̯͔ ̧̻̣̞͖ͅh̰̖̮̤e͏̴̪̯͖̱a̷̡͓͙̗̲̰̳̥̤͞r͟͏̧̮̣̤̥̖ͅ ̖̬͍͕̩̦̙͡͡t̫̱̭͞h̨̞̟̫͔͔̝̕i͎̩̺̲s͕͉͞ ̵̨̟̫̙̠̮ͅs̡͍̤͕̩̜̣̱i̴̪͉̜͕̟̯͎̗g̘͈̲̠͡͡n̶̢͕͕̼a̭͡ḽ̨͉̣̜̳͖͚ ̸̛͔̗̰͚̲̤͘b͏͙͓̻̳o̴̼̩̲̖̹d̵͙̳͔̞̟̩̰͓ę͜҉͖̺͔̪͔̯͍b҉̻̫̬̭͈́ợ͎̟̪o͏̨͓̼̳p̙͚̘͉̯̀͝ͅ.̗̟͟ ̼̠͖͢A̱̙̥̻̹̰̼̠ ͜͢͏̙̩s̛͙i̯̭͓̦n҉̺͢ͅg̹̙̙̙̰̞̪̙͘ ̴̡̺̱̮͔͚͍̼l҉͖̝͉̜a̼͔̮̗̝p̨̘̝̱̪̕ ̩͇͈͓͎͖s̡̝̫̤͓̥͇̝͜ͅͅh̻̰̬͇̀͟o̴̸̺̮͉͍̜͎̙̠͍ư̻̣̼̣̖͉̰͎̭͞l̡̧̫̠̰̮̰͈͙d̴̵̝̟̬͖ ̨̙̣͚̞͚̻̺͘b̩̬̪͚͜e̷̫͔͍͔͘͘ ̧̬̲̙̯̲̗͓͕̀ͅc̨̩̭͇̝̝͎̩̩͞o̢̲̣͙̞͝ͅm̻͓̺̥̬̖̀p̵̧̧̰̠l̹̗͕̤̲͝ȩ̧̝̻̙͎̬̮̞̼͟t̸͙͈̮̕͟e̹͍̫̰̳̱̼͇d͕͖̥͙ ̬̕ȩ͓͕̀͘ṿ͖̫̣͍̕͞͠e̬̣͉͔̮̗r̵̥̺͔͉͔̥͉ͅy͔͍̮̰ ̟̥͞t̡͕̻̳̭͘i̯̹̯̗m͚̖̱̲̠͓̭̩̝͡e̶͓̪͙̟̤͕͢ ̜̞̩̲̜̣̹̮̠͜y̶̛͔͚ǫ̶̘͇̲u̥͚̰͕̦͕͈ ̪̫͈̲̺͉̱́͢h̤͖͜e͜҉̨̬̺̮̮̗͉̱a҉̥̟̳͕͇͟r̷̙͓̯ ̞͍̲̖̫͓̖͇t̢͉̜h̤̟̟͢͡i̵͍̺̺͙̜͢͝s̨̨̳̫̠͎͎̖͈̠̝ ̴͏̼͚̮s̮͖̯͚ọ̝̘̦̩̼u̡̢̙̝͕͓̺̯̞̬n̼̤͖̖̮̺̰͍͟d̤̠̩̀͡.̧̳̳̟̩̙̕ ͢҉͉̦d̴͔̠͠i̯̙͙͙̲̣̦͙̞͞n̨͓̥̩͜g̘̩͉͙͓̟͘͠ ̮̳̤̥͎̥̝̪́͢Ṛ̢̙̯̟̳̀e̮̺͍̯͈͓̺̘m̷͇͇̖̦̟̮̕e̷̮͠m̟̺͇̮͉ḇ̢̡̮̙é͓̝̥͓̪͡ͅr̝͉̭̜̻̀ ҉͔͉̦̙t̲̤̰͈̪͖̜o͏̶̛̭̟͉ ̧͏͖͚̙̜͎̳r̷̶̞̞̟̣̯̼͓u̴͓̦̭͖͙͟ͅn̕҉̷͓̞̰ ̜̠̭̦̩̝̥̻i͎͍͈͠ͅn̠̪̟ ̢͝҉͓̦̺̣̻̞̳a̛̺̺͡ ̦̱̮̤̤̖̫͡s̪͖̰͡t̳̺̝̫̼̠̘͢r͍̤̪̞͕̹͕̞̮a͖̫̟̤̟͖͈̹̭͢i͚̺͙̖͘͟g̶̷͏͍̮͇̪ͅh̵͓̞̗͇̲̲̫͓̮t҉̶̷̘͕̳̮͈̬͚ ͜҉͇̻͉̼͍̬ͅl̢͈͇̭͕͎͕͘i̮̫̣͢͠ṋ̸͉͉͚̬ḙ̴͖͙̘͎͖ ͏̲̪̰̤̖͕̝ͅa̙̤̱ͅn̶̼̲̙͞d̯̰͎̼ ̣͕͖͙̖͖̣͠r̸̤̬̖͎̠̙̲̀́ù̜̰͖͞n̡̳̺͖̹͎̝ ̖͚̤̤̮a͏̜̭̩̰̜͎s҉̫̳̣͕̰ ̩̫̀͘͡l͏͠͏̦̠̘̦̟͉̱o̭͝ͅn̪̞̩̙̕g͏̲̤͎̯͙͙̦̘ ̺á̻̰͟s̨̲̠͞ ̖̘͠͞p̪ó͇͈̲̗̬̟̗͜s̛̭͢ş͎̬̩̰ͅi̫̜̠̬͍̗̬̩͕b̘̫͞l̢̪̹͙̲̫̫̥ͅe̢͖̖̗̣̗̱̖̼.͖̪̻̗̺̺͙̣́ ̫̰͕T̮̗̬̖̞̰͔͘h̨̦͔̻̩̥̯̯e̴̦͈ ̲̹̭̥̘̖̗͔s͕̼̮͉͝͞è̴̻͕͙͕̼̲ͅc̙͖o͏̗̳͎n̶̹͍̤̬̥͕̘d҉͓̪̞̘̘͙͙̣̱ ̹̼̱͙̦̤̹͝t͞͏͎̪̬̞́i̺̤̲̘̳ṃ͉̠́͠e̗̭̖̖̺͈̙͟͢ ̢̩̭̀ỳ̴͈̭̹̝̮̰o̸̺͎̺͇̱̫̙̗u̶̲̠̜̯͙̼͔͈̗͜͢ ̛̛͇͚͕̣̬̬ͅf͏ͅa̴̮̹͓͈̲ì̮̦̣͖̗̳͈͖̗́͞ĺ̸͍̞͙ ͓̰͎͢ͅt̷͓̦̙̝͈͉͉̯o̩̖̳͎͟͠͝ ̰͔͔͢ͅc̖͇͖͘͢ò̙͈͚͙͠m̷̪̘̝͈̬̗͔̲p͏͜͏̹͚l͍̺̹͔͔̼͚͙̕e̡͇͙̫̫̣̞̪͓̰t̛͙̪͇͍̪͚̰͝ͅe̗͔̫̜̤̘̲͠ ̵̡͍͇͎a̶̯͚̬͔̻̜̼̦͢ ̷̧̥̹͡l̵͖͇̬̟̝͖͖͞a̺͚̮̱̙̕p̤̀̕ ̧̠̘̯̕b̢̧̬̤̠̖̫͚̩é͔̼̺͞f͏̸̧̫̤̙͉̰̟̹̮o̸̗ŕ͖͚̀ͅę̖͙̮̞͓͙̻̤̻͟ ̗̭̜̦͉͙̬t́͢҉̠͉h̸̰̱̹͉͙̥͝e͎̩ ̵̠͉̬̰̣͇̥͢s̤͍͇͙̙͟͡ͅơ͎͚͉̘u̴̘n̤̺̯̝d̨̟͚͓,̴̩̼͕̲̜̖̭̪̙ ͝͏͓̬̤̩y̪̫͠ͅo̴̲͈̱͈̠̺̞̝͘u͓̹̰͢ṛ̳͔͕̤͕̠͈͔ ͚͖̤͓̗̦̫̪͘t҉̸̡̭̞͖ę̧͈̘͈̱s̙͚̟̯̺̳ṯ̭̺͔̪̳ ̰̝͚̱̹i̞͚͔̳̙̝s̨͎͖͔̖͎͈ ̜̯͓̺̦o̘̻̜̠͞v̴͎̹̻͟e̶̷̪͍͉̰͉̠͓͢r̡͓͎̬ͅ.̛̱̞͖̪̤̮̥ͅ ͘҉͙̦͍T̡͏̬̗͈ͅͅh̫͖̺e͈̘̩͚͓̦ ̧̢͏̞̹̼t̬̯͕̀͢ḛ̷̶̻͚̱̞s̛̰t̹͉̩̙͈͢ ̸̷̥̙̥w̻̤͚̲̰͟i̛͍̙̘̕l҉̛̜͖̳̤l̻̥͢ͅ ̢͎͕͓̜ͅb҉̱̠̙̹e̤̙͞g̨̡̲̩͞i̲̼͍͞n̢̥̺͈̤̯ ̪̩̹͓̜̰͖̫͡o̵̫̬n̟̬̱͇̕͡ ̶̡͙ṱ̛̻̘͚͓̥̹̟ḩ̼͉͖͎͞ẹ͖ ̡̛͏͔̬ͅw̨̨̖̘̺̯̞̮͚o͏̙̟r̼̼̜̝̩͇͙͎̀d͏̫̼̘͠ ̳̭͙̮̫̙s͡͏͖̹̼̖̮̺ͅt͕̖̖͚̯̞͘ḁ̢̧͚͔͕r̻͙̝̣̳̣͎̺̮͠t͍̘͟.̷̝͙̱͚͙͘ͅ ̺̯̳͕̙͈Ǫ̴͙͎͇̤̱̝̫n̥̙̻̞͙ ͇̥̟̙̥͈̕y̶̷͍͖o̻͇͟͠ụ̭͎͕̣ͅr̲̳̬̰͙̣̖͈̞ ̛̻ͅm͙̞͚̩͉͇̀͢͞a̴̵̞͚r̨̳͇͡k̰.͏̙̺̦̞͚͈̣̀ ͏͕̩G̵͓̟̟͙̪e̴͔̲͔̘̙̩t̴̲̮̟̰̣̻͖̦͉͟͡ ҉̡̨̺̱̻̮͎̫̪r̝̲̜̯̝̀ͅͅͅe̺͍a̷̼̺͇̻͖ͅͅd̵̹̳̳̘y̡̧̭͍͕͝!͈̹̻̻̪̦̖̥͉…͎̩̟̞̲͓̙́͝ ̞̝̜̬̹̺̪̼S͉̘͎͇̫͜t̡̛̰̮̦̦̤͔̥͕a̷͠҉̫̮̼̣͎͕̮̘̳r̙̩̰t̡̼̻̬̰͟.͏҉̞̝̮̦͓̲

"my name is BRY-YON! It's...big." -Brian Regan (comedian)

From Electrical engineering?

Nay nay, from a land probably very far away

Like halfway across the globe.....away

Izz it really?

[deleted]

It's not short for anything

It really just is, Izz

  • insert mind blown *

[deleted]

Sad thing Izz, as simply as Izz is

Some people still manage to pronounce it wrong

You should meet my friend Jay.

Izz, izz actually my name

V2theizzA

That’s the anthem getcha damn hands up.

I keep forgetting about Jay-Z because he's not on Spotify

Because I’m an old man/woman and don’t have a streaming service I never forget about him because he always pops up on my shuffle!

Well all the stuff with Linkin Park is there. So there's Izzo, but it's mashed up with LP. I like it a lot. Would be better if it was just there normally too 🤷‍♂️

Forgot about Jay

Forgot about Dre

NOT TO WORRY H2THEIZZO'S BACK TO WIZZERK

​

How do you console my mom or give her light support

TELLIN HER, HER SON'S ON LIFE SUPPORT

And just imagine how my girl feels

V to the izzA

Linkin Park was right all along..

Steve to the Zissou

edited for r/pan streaming - sorry for the inconvience

Best sub ever and I just subscribed to them 5 minutes ago

Edit: The sub is r/waterniggas

Welcome to the clan my nautical negro.

Stewardess, I speak Jive.

Surely you can’t be serious.

I am sirious and don't call me surely.

I just subscribed to this life aquatic

Steve to the Zissou

Stay hydrated brother

I bid you welcome on behest of the social clique I consider myself a member to, pelagic Afro-American of mine!

Comment deleted, what sub?

Welcome! Have a 1L bottle ready at all times with that magnificent cold h2o.

This sub honestly has motivated me to drink more water with all the hilarious posts on it

It got old quick. I think I lasted two days before I got over the pretentious uppety cunts that are all over the subreddit.

I stay subbed just cause it reminds me to drink more water

I discovered the sub Saturday, and me pee has been remarkably clear ever since.

Water is our word, you can say wata

Lmao got a good just for linking to r/waterniggas

Don’t come crying to me when your brittle bones fucking shatter

Good looks spreadin the word about that good ol’ H2-BLOW

Thank you, I'm home now.

[deleted]

It may be because of this post:

https://i.redd.it/9tsve99lmdh21.jpg

Thanks to such memes, I can’t not help but smile whenever my aunt/uncle calls me “Nephew”. That’s the price, I guess

because water is homogeneous and so are we

You mean heterogeneous, cause we ain't gay brethren.

I'm just a geneous, no homo.

You're not a geneous, you're a genius. That play on words you did was awesome!

Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic.

Maybe because of this video ?

Happens @ 0:44

waterafricanamericans doesn't have the same ring to it.

Ironic N words are the height of edge and wit. Like saying “porn” in a non porn sub.

Excellent commentporn

Yeah I’ve watched the rise of that sub and I’m not mad at the content per se, but that the thought of a bunch of white kids producing memes for a sub with the n word makes me uneasy at best. Maybe I’m out of the loop, but I’m not when it comes to the history of that word.

Then you are aware that the recent history is such that word isn't universally pejorative as it once was.

Says only white people.

Dude there's literally posts made by black people in that subreddit. Taking pictures with their water bottles and everything. Why dont you chill the fuck out with the outrage?

there is no arguing with fear-riddled idiots

This is exactly why that sub makes me uncomfortable. “Bro, the word isn’t even offensive anymore, get over the years of systematic racism”

[deleted]

Non racist people....

Honestly tho. Feels like r/hiphopheads. I cringe everytime I see that word because I know 99% of the time it’s a white 16 year old. Not to put anyone on blast, it’s just super tacky

“But I comment on /r/BlackPeopleTwitter so I can say it”

-that same white 16 year old, probably

[deleted]

It’s like meeting a row of white people and saying “nice to meet you”, and then meeting the only black person in the room and saying “whats up brotha?” Just don’t do it, it’s embarassing for everyone

Judging by the brief comments from users on this thread it appears to be even cringer than r/hhh.

r/unexpectednword

Because reddit needs a tinge of racism in everything.

I see you are a man of culture aswell

Thank you for this, I really need to adopt their message of glorious H2O

Your body needs water!

So drink that shit!

Your body needs water!

So drink that shit!

andddd subscribed. fuck soda. fuck juice. fuck coffee.

Coffee isn't bad unless it's loaded with cream and sugar, and if you're a regular drinker it doesn't dehydrate.

Coffee is just dirty water, bruh. It's just letting your H20 chill wit some beans. Think of it like ice cubes, but its grounds instead. You still a u/waternigga if you fucks wit coffee.

lmao @ dirty water but aight good to know

Wow thanks for introducing this sub!! It really did inspire me to drink more water. Very wholesome.

Where did this sub come from? I've seen several references to it in the last week and it looks brand new, and it's already super popular!

How did this get gold and silver

someone gave it to the op

Someone gild this comment

Also known as Nautical Negroes

As long as you aren't one of those bastard Verti's who think they're so great.

Hori 4 life, bruh.

Damn, 1 hour too late.

ayyy my people

also why is this talking off so much recently?

Discovered this last night and it's the funniest shit ever. Also got me drinking more water starting today lmaooo

H2Hoes

are you an ambulance? t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two t-two

https://youtu.be/4ZK8Z8hulFg

I've found my people!

LOL casual racism.

I don't think it's racism but ok

"But the N word is just funny now!"

~ only white people

Jesus fucking Christ I'm seeing this sub on every post

[deleted]

Fuck you

[deleted]

Your username is bad, your opinion is bad, and you should be ashamed

r/waterniggas

Seriously I never heard of this sub until last week and now they are almost on every comment section lmao

Sameee, it's everywhere. Not complaining though, subscribing to it is one of the best decisions I've ever made, I want to live life glued to a water bottle now.

I hear you. I was longing for a sub with my people. Glad you want to convert, we are the elite now

It's a circle jerk for something people are supposed to be doing anyway. Makes me want to start a sub for paying bills on time or not going to jail.

Its in no way the same though. The average person drinks well below the optimum intake of water and taking water over other drinks in many occasions is a gem of a thing. water isn't just a job... it's a lifestyle!

Lots of people have bad credit and live above their means as well. Where's the circle jerk for good credit?

Well I guess its worth being a sub then.

/r/personalfinance but it might not be attractive enough for people who get off on patting their own back

It's a #BigWater conspiracy!

I remember finding it over /r/random a few months ago. Great sub, 11/10

That seems to happen with every sub for me. /r/punpatrol popped up out of no where and I saw it everywhere. Same goes for /r/waterniggas

I lurked this sub because I love soda and juice. I made a rule where if I was going to have a soda or juice or anything (beer, wine) I have to drink the equivalent size glass of water first. I didn’t quit the sodas I love and I feel much better still

Drink the water after, it's better for your teeth

While it may be better for your teeth, it introduces the possibility of just not drinking the water at all. If you have to drink the water first in order to drink the thing you actually want to drink then you will more likely follow the rule for yourself.

That's a really good idea. I'll try it, if anything just to save money on soda.

Thank you so much for enlightening me with this subreddit!

I appreciate the goal but don't like the name.

Who cares about the name? I can understand if you dont feel cormfortable saying it aloud but IDK man.... Beaides its mainly a joke

Who cares about the name?

I do. It's offensive. Because it's gratuitous. If it were by black people, for black people, about black people, then ok maybe. And for all I know the first (and maybe second) thing is true. But not the third.

Beaides its mainly a joke

A joke at whose expense?

It is neither offensive, nor gratuitous, nor a joke at anyone's expense. It's originally from this. Have a nice tall glass of water.

Ok at least it has context. But just providing context doesn't absolve it of offense. As in, in the original four panel, the joke could've just as easily been "It was just water, dude." or "It was just water, asshole." The joke remains the same. So sorry, you're wrong: the use of the n-word is fact gratuitous. It's just some 12-year-old edgelord trying too hard to be edgy. FFS it's on 4 panel cringe, if that didn't fill you in.

I have found my people

Why did they feel the need to name the sub using a derogatory word for black people?

Water champ checking in

Hey 👖

Either that podcast's popularity is exploding or my brain is baader-meinhoffing the shit out of me about since I started listening to it a few weeks ago (or both). Feels like jeans are popping up everywhere I look on Reddit.

jean, we know who the real water champ is

I know its mommy tina.

No it isn't.

It's definitely Tommy Buns.

T-Bunz is a guzzler. X-Tina is a slow and steady sipper... Mommy Tina wins just like the tortise and the hare!

Try it out

Home here now

I'm looking for hard core black guys.

I’m a hot white trash cum dump, let’s fuck

You wanna move in? Move in.

I need to be fucked a lot man

👖👖keep it high and tight👖👖

Hi Hitler!

I only drink water to wash down the benedryl.

hello, fellow r/waterniggas

Here's the deal man..

Thats an underrated one. I drink water only for two and a half weeks and I feel so much better.

[deleted]

I dont even know why I wrote that...

I meant that I was drinking water only since about 2,5 weeks ago.

Sry.

Someone who drank enough water wouldn't have made that mistake...

Or its because English is not my native language.

Nah, it's definitely the not enough water thing.

Obviously.

What's the difference you notice after only 2.5 weeks?

I just feel better. Maybe its a mental thing, but I lose weight and I dont want to eat sweet stuff as much as I used to.

my skin got better after a week of drinking plenty of water daily.

Let me help. What you should say is, “for the past 2.5 weeks I’ve only drank water.” Only generally modifies whatever comes after it in a sentence.

Or "I started only drinking water 2.5 weeks ago."

I've drunk* is the correct past participle of drink.

or "I've only been drinking water for the past 2.5 weeks."

Or: It's only been in the last 2.5 weeks I've increased my water intake...

Maybe "I drank nothing but water for the past 2.5 weeks".

[deleted]

I was drinking something different than water before.

The drink that shall remain nameless!

It was lemonade. Like I wrote before to someone else.

This is getting out of hand.

It wouldn't get out of hand if you drank more water mate.

IM TRYING

Water tastes better when its cold.

It's ripe at 3am.

How did you know that I always get up at 3am to drink a glass of water?

Because you had to pee, duh.

IM TRYING

I died at this felix.

It was to remain nameless!!! Now Big Lemonade is coming for us all.

wtf is going on

what kind of lemonade though?

Lemonade is basically water with lemon juice, how would removing the lemon improve your life?

Lol we are just roasting you because your english is a little shabby, its no offence nobody cares but its funny haha.

I know, I am laughing as well. Glad some people have a good sense of humour.

I did this last year and made it 67 days then stopped for carnival. Can't go carnival without a backpack full of rum, vodka and coke 😂

Started again this year and now on day 34. I want to do 100 days at least this year.

The first week is always the hardest. The caffeine withdrawals are not what I expected. Headaches ect. But I feel so much better when I do it.

damn I don’t think it’s necessary to go hardcore cold turkey and only drink water. Then every day becomes a counter on a board until you slip rather than just the next day of life

Hows this mans alive? Boy if you aint 2,5 weeks old...

His poor kidneys 😬

[deleted]

2.5

Two and a half.

Europeans use the comma where Americans use a period for numbers I think.

Yeah you're right! 1.000.000 is a million, while 1,0 is one.

That's so weird and I have never heard of that

Wtf. American?

Yeah, I am American.

Thing is I have traveled all over Europe and have never noticed that.

I guess it's pretty easy to overlook it then. Examples of prices in a supermarket would be €1,50 or €1,- instead of $1.50 or $1.00 .

I'm not sure Britain uses the same notation but most (if not all) of mainland Europe does.

(What also needs to be said that a lot of the educated younger generation uses the American and European version interchangeably because they were brought up with American calculators like Texas instruments or Casio. The European notation isn't supported by those as the comma is used for coordinates.)

That's really bizarre man... Not sure how you can't notice it.

[deleted]

Public schools still suck.

Nope

How is this "nope"?

I'm from Ireland we use periods as you call them and commas the same, same anywhere else I've been. Comma is only used to separate zeros e.g. 2,000,000 and full stops are for decimal e.g. 0.5

i think it might be mainland europe then? several commenters agreed with me and i know its a thing from things i have to quote for work and visiting europe..

Don't do it again.

im sorry pls dont kill me

Why do you think this makes more sense

It did. In my head.

2.5 out of, how many years have you been alive? Either way, that isn't enough. You should drink more water.

living up to the ol' username there I see

Haha I was just trying to help the guy out! Drinking water for only 2.5 weeks out of his life isn’t healthy!

faithinhumanity.exe has crashed

Dw gj on drinking more water! you always have to start somewhere!

I know 2 different people that don’t drink water ever. Only the water they get from beer and other drinks that contain water.

[removed]

One is my ex girlfriend’s step dad and yeah, I’d say he’s bloated. The other is my grandma’s husband and he’s super skinny. In good shape for an old man. He was still playing in a 50+ slow pitch soft ball league when he was in his 80’s. I think he’s almost 90 and is in the early stages of dementia now though. But he told me he hasn’t drank water in 30 years and my grandma told me she’s only ever seen him drink water a couple times in her life.

You should drink enough to slake your thirst, yes

It's so helpful! I got into the weirdest argument on Reddit yesterday where someone was claiming that drinking water wasn't that important, but if you haven't been drinking enough and you up your intake to a healthier level, you really will feel so much better!

I was drinking lemonade instead of water. Had low calories.

I estimated that drinking three litres of water instead of drinking that lemonade safes me one extra meal plus an added burn in calories due to the water.

Havent touched anything else since.

In college, especially during finals, I drank a metric fuckton of diet coke. Didn't drink much water at all, but didn't think much of it. I was so fucking sick all the time! Now in grad school I drink water almost exclusively, with the occasional soda as a treat, and I cannot even say how much healthier I feel.

For those reading: soda is NOT the same as drinking water, even though the first ingredient is water!

If you miss lemonade drink lemon water. That’s my go to.

Thats a good one.

But I actually dont miss it too much. I forgot how it tastes.

Or lime water, even better

The other big benefit is you won't crave sugar as much, and regular food starts to taste sweet without added sugars. Excess sugar seems to full down your tastebuds (for sweetness at least).

I never understood that line of thinking. What is not drinking enough? My body tells me when it needs to drink and how much. What is healthier level? Forcing yourself to drink more then your body asks for?

It's kind of different for everyone. The issue is that when your body needs water, not everyone recognizes the cues as thirst. They might eat instead, or maybe drink something like soda which, due to its caffeine content, can actually be dehydrating. However, if your urine is a clear, light yellow, you are likely hydrated well enough. Even in the morning when you first wake up, your urine should still be light yellow, though not as light as later in the day.

The guidelines are mostly so people get a general idea of what they may need, but everyone has slightly different needs based on their diet, activity level, etc.

I fail to understand how people can not recognise thirst, thirst and hunger are some of out most primitive instincts. Like how can you eat a sandwich if you are thirsty? People who didn't get a clue when to drink died off already probably. Caffeinated drinks are still hydrating, the dehydrating effect of caffeine is small relative to amount of water you consume along the way, so sodas are still net hydrating (they not the healthiest drinks mostly because of sugar).

everyone has slightly different needs based on their diet, activity level, etc.

Sure and a healthy body is adapting accordingly, I am significantly more thirsty for longer periods of time after I run long distances and sweat a lot. Or during a hot day. I have looked into this and I have not found any research that suggests that you need more than what your body naturally asks for via thirst. Unless you have some severe health issues or you stay in an extreme environment like desert.

Any sources for this? Last I heard is that water intake is over rated. Yeah, you need to hydrate, but only when you are thirsty.

Adam ruins everything did a segment in this: https://youtu.be/OWASUMMQjj8

Water burns calories, helps you with your liver, cleans the body from the inside and so on... Every Medical and every fitness worker recommends water or tea without sugar.

Right, but do you have sources for that? "Every medical and fitness worker" doesn't quite cut it.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/290814.php

And Adam basically says its wrong to drink when you are not thirsty. Its basically the same as "eating when you are not hungry". He is not saying that water is bad.

How much calories drinking water burns?

I drank two gallons in one day and literally shit myself.

Eh. You're probably just experiencing the effects of less caffeine (and sugar if you drank sugary drinks).

No, but some people really go through their day without drinking water, except for their lunch. Then in the afternoon, without fail, they "get tired and work is giving them headaches" that go away as soon as they get home (and drink something).

I'm not saying this is you. I'm not saying all headaches are cured by drinking water. But I'm pretty sure some are.

I see what you're saying. If someone goes for long stretches without drinking, then sure.

But for those people who have coffee throughout the morning, and a diet soda or something between lunch and leaving, they are getting the amount of water they need, just also getting some other unnecessary crap with it, especially caffeine (I am guilty of this).

I started drinking a lot more water and now I just feel dehydrated all the time.

Water more important than the gold

A million times more important.

damn no one got that reference

Ik bruh, someone else made a reference and got 1000s of upvotes tho smh

[deleted]

You were never ready for the flow

Gotta get those Sparkle Points!

Gotta collect those Aqua Badges to get into the Platinum Club.

r/unexpectedparksandrec

r/unexpectedpawnee

u/waterguy12 would like this

u/waterguy11 would too

I'm trying to get 2.5 litres a day. Basically 6-or-so of my thermos water bottle.

The amount of "oop, pee time" breaks is crazy, to the point of making we want to stop after a few days.

Don't set a specific amount of water you want to drink. Just drink when you are thristy, and when you do drink something for thirst make sure it's water. The human body is super good at regulating how much water you need via thirst, but if you drink some sugary shit when you are thirsty it doesn't really work.

It might be a tad much. My urologist told me 2 litres is plenty for most.

​

Probably. Unfortunately, Keto recommends more so you flush the water weight carbs hold on to, and replaces the ketones you produce so you lose more and more weight.

I...remain unconvinced though. I don't particularly feel any better on a lot of water, or sleep better, have better memory etc, and the weight loss is so slow compared to others.

This sounds like some hippie science.

don't try to get to 2.5l or 4l. just drink when you feel thirsty and you'll be fine. another thing to consider though is that caffeine makes you pee more to the point of dehydration (depending on how much you take). it basically stops the hormone that makes your kidneys retain water from working temporarily until it is metabolised = tricks your kidneys into thinking you have too much water in your body. unless you are a tiny person, 2.5l of water should not make you pee so much.

Thank you Mick Jenkins

Water is crucial.

Also important, but less obvious, is Vitamin D. Have dandruff? Check your Vitamin D intake. Vitamin D is essential for your immune system and skin health. Some foods come fortified with it. Cereal, milk, and some orange juices have about 10% of your daily requirement added to them. Eggs and tuna also have about 10% per serving. Store-bought mushrooms are grown in the dark, so don't have Vitamin D. But leave them under the sun for an hour or two and they will make Vitamin D, even if they've been cut and dried.

But the two biggest tips are to get 15-20 minutes of direct sunlight daily, and eat anchovies or sardines. Small fatty fish can provide 50-70% of your daily recommended intake per serving. Your skin will thank you.

TLDR: Psoriasis? Sardines.

Time for more caesar salads, extra anchovies

I have psoriasis from my dad and don't take a lot of vitamin D. I'm 22, it hasn't developed outside of the back of my head, but I'm afraid it will.

My new rule is that if it doesn’t have caffeine or alcohol in it, then I should just drink water instead.

I didn’t even realize I have this rule. I haven’t drank anything but water, black coffee, and alcohol in months

How to become an alcoholic 101

[deleted]

I see that you mentioned alcohol.

Sounds like you're an alcoholic guy.

To add, if you're on your computer a lot, just put a water bottle next to it and you'll accidently drink water all the time.

The water will become a dusty, forgotten monument lost in a wasteland of spent red bull cans

Just stop buying that garbage

I live in a dorm so I have a recycling box right behind me. Box within throw distance= no cans= water++

Definitely this. I play a "drinking game" with myself while I Reddit. Any time someone says water, wet, liquid, or drinking... I take a drink.

I don't go that far, I just find myself drinking water a lot if its right there; glad that works for you though.

You'll drown if you visit /r/waterniggas

You must be swimming in this thread

...

Water.

Thanks for helping me hydrate, kind stranger. This one's for you.

Even better, I have one with a straw - 0,5 liters goes by awfully quickly

I keep a pitcher and just use it as a huge cup. I refill it like once a day while at my computer, the convenience is great.

I read this and got myself a glass of water.

  • Mick Jenkins

I never understood this. I drink water when I’m thirsty and if I drink more I have to pee a lot, which does not improve my life.

A good chunk of people have been convinced that drinking X amount of water is important for their health. It's not.

Drink when you are thirsty. Only use water to quench your thirst, don't use some sugary drink. That's it. It's super easy.

Turns out the body is really good at regulating how much water you need.

Seriously. There are so many benefits:

  • Increases brain power
  • Promotes weight loss
  • Flushes toxins
  • Improves complexion
  • Maintains regularity
  • Boosts immune system
  • Prevents headaches
  • Prevents death by dehydration

flushes toxins

Yes your liver and kidneys can’t do their job if you’re dehydrated. No, drinking excess water doesn’t help.

[deleted]

I'm fully convinced that the reason headache medications direct you to take them with a full glass of water is because it will help with the headache as well... not just to get the medication down to your stomach.

Any sources for this? Last I heard is that water intake is over rated. Yeah, you need to hydrate, but only when you are thirsty.

Adam ruins everything did a segment in this: https://youtu.be/OWASUMMQjj8

It's a common misconception that it needs to be water. You just need fluids. Mayo has a good article on it.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256

"Most healthy people can stay hydrated by drinking water and other fluids whenever they feel thirsty. "

This is the thing people should take away from this. Stop trying to drink some arbitrary amount of water. Drink when you are thirsty and you will be fine.

Reduces flatulence too

I work at a campground and every time I enter the office through the backdoor I always drink at least a shot of water. It’s to the point where if someone hears the door open then the faucet running they know it’s me.

Every time someone brings it up I tell them it’s the easiest healthy thing you can do.

It's really a habit that you need to get into as early as possible. I drink a lot less pop these days because I got myself to drink water frequently.

I drink nearly a gallon a day. Especially now it's coming up on summer and I have a labor-intensive job in the south (hot af)

This is such an underrated one especially in terms of being tired throughout the day. Keep a water bottle or big cup filled with water on your nightstand, something bigger than a small 16oz glass. make drinking that the first thing you do when you wake up every morning.

I drink about liter of water a day and i don't feel different since i started. What am i doing wrong?

You should be drinking a bit more. 2 liters is the suggested amount usually

Is there something wrong with me if I drink 4 or 5? I'm not really active, so it's not that.

Everyone's body is different, so it's hard to say.

​

If you don't feel bloated or full from drinking that much water & your urine is not completely clear, you should be fine. (But I'm not a doctor, so don't take my words as the whole truth) :)

Try drinking 6

Suggested by whom? You get water not only drinking water (hint most drinks are 90+% water).

1 liter I basically nothing

For the last 5 days i drank nothing but water (~2,5l/day) and still feel the same.

Fact: everyone who drinks water in their life will die

What’s that water drinking addicts sub again?

/r/waterniggas

If drinking water is an addiction, I don't wanna be sober.

/r/waterniggas

Plug for /r/waterniggas

You are now a mod of r/waterniggas

/r/waterniggas

r/waterniggas

r/waterniggas checking in.

r/waterniggas approves of this.

r/waterniggas

/r/waterniggas

Drink water by Young Scrolls. Look it up, you won't be dissapointed.

NO LOVE LOST OR FOUND!!!

I've seen this mentioned so many times, but how much is enough? How do I know if I'm drinking enough?

Straw-colored pee = good.

CUESTAR INTENSIFIES

It took me getting kidney stones to truly understand this one. I am not a smart person.

Or you might die.

But fish fuck in it!

Or you might die.

I know I should but that Bang Rainbow Unicorn is something else.

Hydrate or diedrate

Nice try Sparklers CEO

This is the most important one.

​

Source: A person who have constant problems with kidney stones.

I feel like I do this TOO much though. Sometimes, I've downed 3 liters by the time lunch is done and I'm not sure that's good for me.

Be careful of Dihydrogen Monoxide though. Big killer.

Unless your like me and can only drink 1.5-2 liters a day....

I hate it. Stupid heart failure.

Does tea count?

r/waterniggas

And stop drinking sugared drinks

/r/waterniggas

Also, buy a darn water bottle people! A lot of people say they just can't form this habit and I think that's because they view it as a task which requires action. Most people have to go get a glass of water and they just forget or don't feel like it. Find a water bottle you like, name it, keep it near you at all times and you'll just start sipping all day. I hang out with Nathan all day and I never have to worry about hydrating.

Shoutout to www.nathansports.com!

DMW5 or DMW4 tho?

My primary Dr had yelled at me that I drink too much.. and he’s not the only MD that has. Anyone have advice for cutting back? I don’t even notice how much I drink

Since i started living by the mindset "it's better to look back and laugh at what you did than look back and wonder what could've been" I've been more confident, happy, outgoing, and caring.

Basically; talk to that cute girl, ask for help when you need it, work out, diet, help those in need, offer help, learn new things, the list goes on

Im trying to push myself into diet... I just cant.. Fuck Im lazy and I have no will.. :D

Try just not eating :) it's easy really. Check out the intermittent fasting subreddit. I have found that waking uo and waiting for dinner is much easier than sticking to a hardcore meal plan. My basic diet: don't eat till dinner, cut out junk food and alcohol. Hardest part is weekends when I don't have work to distract me from all the snacks in the house. Easier just to not buy that garbage but alas I do not live alone.

Yeah my younger brother is doing IF and lost like 20 kilos already. It sounds more interesting than diet + I have history with fasting (used to do 4 day water fast every month to "clean" myself) so Im used to not eating. Thanks for tip.

I'm curious, what do you mean by "Clean" yourself and does that actually work as in does that make you feel better?

​

Hell yea.. for 4 days I drink only water (shitload of water).. Clean? The stuff that I piss could be considered chemical weapon my dude... Water fasting is great for detox but after you end you have to eat smart, no junk food etc. And I feel great during the water fasting, third day is best. Clear mind and lot of energy

Ah that sounds cool. I might give it a try sometime. Thanks:)

Study it first and start slowly. My record is 7 days on water and I shit you not last day I had visions. I did it during my holidays... first 5 days were awesome, clear mind, pissing all the shit that was stored in my body, but those two last days? oof..

Dieting is so much easier than led to believe! Basically take your bodyweight and multiply it by 10-12. So if you're 180 lbs eat between 1800-2160 calories a day. Download MyFitnessPal and track what you eat. Also eat .8-1 gram of protein per pound you weigh. It's super easy! I hope this helps

Well Im little overweight, not that Im visibly superfat but manboobs are starting to form and my belly need some work lol .. I am 6.2 and I weight around 231 pounds.. I started being SUPER lazy and Im driving to work. I used to walk home everyday. I need to get into that habit again cause I lose weight pretty easily but I gain it back almost instantly when I stop walking.

Track your calories and try to be a bit more active. Make it routine and not optional

Evening walks from work incoming.. I need to find a way to skip the public transportation in the morning. I drive to work because of my anxieties (plus Im fucking lazy lately). Thanks for the MyFitnessPal tip, looks super easy to use

You gotta change your mindset about dieting. Instead of “I shouldn’t eat this, it’ll make me fat” switch to “I should eat this because it will nourish my body”. Your perception can change everything. And whatever you do don’t get stuck in a fixed mindset! You can change and you can grow but first you must believe that you can.

don't look at it as a diet, its a lifestyle change. Can be as simple as: eat 10% less every day.

Thats a good tip, thanks! :-)

Honestly I have always been the latter, I really think this helped me today, thank you

Yeah yeah, never be afraid of making mistakes, cause mistakes you learn from are victories to come.

Doesn’t help if the mistakes give me crippling anxiety no matter how many times I repeat that sentence to myself.

"A lot of people think that failure is a step backward. No no no no.. Failure is a step forward, a step forward in the right direction. Every time you fail you learn something. You gain something from it. You feel less anxiety when you are doing it again. You want to think that's a step backward?"

Hope this helps a bit

The anxiety part helps yeah, thanks

"Talk to that cute girl"

...how do?

Well my motivator was that i liked a girl but was too scared to talk to her. She eventually got a BF. I found out from one of her friends that she also kinda liked me. But because i was too nervous i blew what could've been a relationship. I regretted it so much. Now i talk to girls all the time so that never happens again. Basically just start talking to them about a class you have together. Say she looks good today. Girls shit in the morning just like the rest of us. They are just humans. I treat girls like i treat guys. I don't change who I am. No filter I'm just me. It really removes nervousness when you are yourself. I know that sounds cliche. But try to Do the same

Holy shit my first gold! Thanks kind stranger. I hope what i said helps you in life

Delete Facebook

Hit the lawyer

and gym up!

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Trainers and lawyers hate Him! Subscribe today to learn this one simple trick.

Underrated comment.

While I have not deleted my facebook (I've kept it to keep in touch with old friends and my mom) I have unfriended and blocked all the toxic characters on it.

I'm only using the messenger app. Life's so much brighter.

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What tytttttt

tytttttt

today you taughttttt?

Absolutely. This has made an unbelievable improvement in my mental health.

This! No one notices my page is vacant and I only have messenger for my family chat since my parents and brothers are in different states.

It's funny how people use this to justify not deleting it completely.

"Yeah, Facebook is toxic, I think deleting it would be very beneficial."

"Have you deleted yours?"

"No, I only use it for messenger to keep in touch with friends and family."

You don't have their phone numbers? Just delete it if you're going to commentate on how righteous you are for only using messenger.

They didn't say Facebook was toxic, they said they blocked toxic people. There was nothing righteous about their comment. Cool your jets.

Facebook is toxic tho.

I'm not really disagreeing with you, I know the whole thing is designed to make people addicted to using it, but I think it all comes down to how each individual chooses to use it. For a lot of people its not a problem and don't feel like they have to ever check it. Or they don't keep toxic people in their list. Aside from that it's not much different from Reddit or any other online community.

Yeah, you right. I just feel like it's easier to let it go completely. But then again, I'm still on Insta and Reddit...

Haha I'm in the same boat, something gets us all eventually

Facebook IS only toxic if you let it. In my case, i only follow meme pages (the best part of facebook and gives me a good time) and band pages (to be always updated about anything related from tours to releases and etc).

In that case, my wall is always full of memes and band related stuff, no time for stupid dramas nor toxic shit from online friends. I've also reduced the friend number to a really low level

THIS. Delete it. 100% of the way.

The thing is...it would be crazy expensive for me to text Finland. I also use Snapchat to message my other two friends who apparently don't have phone numbers. So, yeah...messenger is no where near as toxic as actual Facebook.

You’re using it the only way it’s useful. Ten points to you!

Why is facebook so toxic? I have it on my phone but i barely open it because it's boring and full of stuff i dont enjoy anyways. Its basically the same if i have it or not but with the added benefit of being able to being able to look up market groups when i need to

Do you mean people or like political pages that just piss you off when you open it up?

Both

I just don't open my page anymore too. Stopped caring about all that drama

I got rid of basically all my social media over the summer, and it's a godsend. I don't need to worry about some kind of popularity contest, and if someone needs to contact me, they have my phone number.

Damn right lol that’s what I’m getting at

I did that and was completely forgotten :(

Find better friends. I have worried about this happening to me too, but I am at the point where I figure if no one remembers me on their own, they aren't someone I need in my life. They can move over and make room for people who will actually authentically care about me.

The issue is that I've traveled a lot and have lived in a lot of different places and worked a lot of different jobs. I really want to get rid of Facebook but if I do, all those contacts will be lost forever. Secondly it's increasingly becoming more and more of a necessity, unfortinately. Soon not having Facebook will be like not having an email account or phone number.

I totally get your perspective, and I still have LinkedIn to keep up on the business side. I just felt so artificial whenever I logged on to anything, so I said "screw it" and deleted everything.

I agree. I've not had a facebook feed in about 8 years, though I do still use messenger. If deleting facebook isn't something you want to do, you can use a chrome plugin that removes your own feed from the homepage of facebook. It's called "Kill News Feed" and will still allow you to spy on friends, use messenger, part-take in discussion, just without the feed which makes your life seem terrible when everyone else is having parties, on holiday, getting married, or just generally showboating while you're in your pants on a wednesday afternoon.

I really would like to, but that's how 90% of my clients find me. It's a money machine for me.

I mean, if it’s making you money, and you aren’t letting toxic people stay friended with you, then it sounds like you’re doing Facebook right.

More important than completely quitting social media (imo) is having the self-control to not spend countless hours scrolling aimlessly but to only log in when you actually have something to do there.

On that note, it's time to log off reddit and do some things. Thanks!

I agree. Shit's just a waste of time

What's Reddit then?

A quality waste of time.

This guy gets it

A means of obtaining information relevant to my interests.

Couldn’t have said it better.

A waste of time

an alternative to working at work?

Alright I have just downloaded and deleted Facebook, and I must say I already feel that my life has improved. Thanks for the tip!

This is what I did and honestly it made a huge difference! I found myself loving myself a little more because I wasn’t comparing myself and my life to everyone else’s. I’ll never go back!

And Snapchat

Why? It’s like how I talk to my friends at least half the time. If you’re seeing negative stuff you’re following shit people. Just unfollow

Kind of like Facebook???

I mean yea. If you’re following shit people on FB it’s your own fault. There’s a reason I only follow roughly 80 people on there. It’s people I actually like

If one of them starts posting bullshit I’ll unfollow or unfriend them too. That’s why the feature is there

That being said, I hardly use FB

If you're friends can't you text them?

Why can’t I just Snapchat them lol

It’s a lot easier to send something to 10 people than send them all individual texts. And the group function is nice. Works the same no matter what phone someone has. Doesn’t change the whole chat because one person out of 12 has an Android instead of an iPhone or anything like that.

Plus it’s nice seeing what people are up to with stories

Yeah I guess I just never jumped on the bandwagon when it comes to SC. I initially avoided it because I’d get frustrated about the chats disappearing and I’d forget wtf we were talking about. Then I had to “save” every single message to be able to refer back to our past conversations. That got annoying. They recently added the save for 24 hrs thing, I just don’t see the point.

The thing that I hate most is that I have to be glued to my phone to chat. If I text I can do it from my Mac, and I can do so for iMessage contacts or SMS people on Android.

All of my friends have iPhones though, so it makes it easy.

If im doing something I tend to share that with a specific person or a group.

If I want it to be public I post it on IG.

I’m 29 years old, maybe I’m getting old and starting to resist change lol.

Filters are getting outta hand

Keep a facebook and don't use it for anything except as a modern phonebook. I hate it too but my social contacts would be severely limited without it.

So this might be good for some people but FB is actually really useful for me. I only use it for chatting with people who I am not that close with to have their number and for local events. The events that I am talking about are parties in my city and they are full of info from other people & the organizers... super useful.

I dont really check my newsfeed, maybe once or twice a day I will scroll through it but in general its just messaging and events.

My better half apparently spent too much time on it just scrolling through random stuff and she decided to delete it because it was just a waste of time.

Alternatively, unfriend everyone who you haven't actually spoken to/seen in the last year, and unfollow anyone who posts a lot of clickbait or politics. My stress levels improved a lot after this. Now, I mostly use Facebook for groups dedicated to my hobbies.

Top comment right here.

10000 upvotes for this. Nothing so simple has improved my life more.

& delete Instagram

I was in 300+ groups and spent hours every day mindlessly scrolling. I deactivated in Feb, I have a blank account with 5 friends so I can be part of my works secret group to get my Rota. So I really only use messenger. Life has been so stress free since.

Hit a lawyer as well.

Wait...

I did this about 6 weeks ago and my mind space is so much more my own now. Tbh I don't miss Facebook one bit. The only drawback is that it does have tools which make connecting with a widely dispersed subculture quite easy compared to without it, and it would help my professional life to have a presence there.

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Well, of course, now I need to know...what was the BEST decision you ever made?

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Ha! My number one best decision was going to therapy. 😊 Best of luck on your journey towards contentment!

Can confirm. Deleted Facebook nearly 3 years ago, happier as a result. Deleted Twitter last month, not happier but not unhappy

Two years with no wall and feed searching on Facebook. It has helped a lot.

And practice on farting?

This is so underrated. The amount of time this platform consumes is unbelivable. Not to forget all the fake lives you get to see all the time.

I would do this but I’m too nosy.

Recently did this. Kept the messenger app out ultimately I'm not mindless scrolling anymore.

Did this 3 years ago. Drama and stress went down and I've never looked back.

I know some people who refuse to get on the facebook bandwagon. This may be a case of small sample size, but these are the least happy people I know. Sometimes it's better for your mental health to be a part of society and what society is doing--even if that thing may be objectively bad in some ways.

Any specific reasons why? I use it all the time to keep up to date with family members and friends. I don't post anything and can easily ignore the negative shit, but there's a lot of positives with social media for me.

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I mean if you don't really use it I suppose you don't have to delete it.

I personally am to the point where I post things like once a month, if that. My wall is essentially people tagging me in articles and such. I really only still keep facebook for messenger so I can group message people. (I know there are other apps for that, but my other friends aren't all magically going to switch to a different app too).

You can delete your Facebook and still use messenger.

Why delete it? Cause the guy behind behaves unethically. That's a big reason for me.

You will be downvoted, and you will like it.

Thanks /u/the-fart-master

Wear sunscreen

Obligatory wear sunscreen linky https://youtu.be/MQlJ3vOp6nI

1997 commencement speech turned to song. Covers most of the things in this thread.

I cry every time I hear this song. I've had an incredibly hard past 4 years. Like homelessness and almost dieing hard...I wish I was young again. My life wasnt supposed to be like this.

I will never be able to explain to my children how much this song does for me and by extension has done for them, and that just breaks my heart. A lot of standing on the edge ready to jump put into this work

Absolutely. I just wish I'd practiced following more of this song's advice. Share it with them when they're old enough. I have a feeling, being kids you raised, it may have a similar effect on them :)

Does the song have a particular connection to an earlier point in your life?

Yeah, it takes me back to middle school and then high school. Which is painful for me. It's right when things started going wrong but not wrong enough to not be fixable.

Everything is fixable friend. You're stronger than you think you are. It sounds trite, but you have to believe it if you want to get through.

"If you're going through hell, keep going"

Thanks man. I'm trying. Everyday is excruciating but I'm hoping it'll start getting better eventually...if I can just wait it out. I'm even too broke and uninsured to be institutionalized, lol. So the only thing that's left for me if it doesnt get better is death or jail. I've lost everything else. They say your bottom is whenever you stop digging and I've hit fucking magma. Think I'd better stop before I die...again.

Is it drugs or booze?

IV Heroin and Coke. Probably the most dangerous, addictive, and looked down upon I could've ever possibly chosen. I have a habit of going big. I'm dumb. It's always been something though, since I was 13 I've been high. Apparently, I had a host of undiagnosed mental illnesses I've been self medicating. I was just a very highly functioning addict until IV and heroin came into my life. I got through my bachelors with weed and booze, masters on coke, meth and adderall and then my career on pills and coke until that became too expensive and my tolerance was so high I switched. Within 6 months I was IVing, 6 months after I was homeless. Happens fucking quick with Heroin. I fully expected to be dead in another 6 months. Technically..I did die..a few times but I don't stay that way...so..I guess I've gotta figure this shit out another way because I don't die and heroin's not working....

You still have family left that you haven't totally burned the bridge with?

Barely, my mom hasn't completely given up hope but doesn't trust me and only tolerates me if I'm doing the right thing. This is it though. She told me I only have one more chance. I fuck this up and it's back on the streets. No car, no job, no insurance. Nothing this time. No pressure or anything...I just hope my mood doesn't dip into suicidal again and I get a case of the "fuck-its". That happens every time and I go on a run trying to kill myself. Doesn't happen, end up worse than before, and the cycle starts over. I'm on proper meds now though for my mental health stuff so I'm hoping it's enough to break the cycle. One day at a time. One thing's for sure. This time..if I go back out..I'm making it quick and I'm not coming back in. That's it. I'm done.

You got a sponsor?

Not yet. I'm only 8 days clean. And most of that was being deathly ill. I'm only very recently feeling like I'm not about to die so..I'm going to start working on that. It's really hard finding a female sponsor. The good ones are rare and I've been torpedoed a few times by shitty sponsors...I'm nervous about it. I'll find one though...

Didn't realize you were a lady. I've heard some bad stuff about male predators in recovery. Depending on the size of the town you're in, they might have woman only programs available. And even if there aren't there are almost certainly resources in your area available.

You have to figure out a reason to live. That's the most important thing.

I've been searching for womens only programs to no avail yet but haven't given up. The search and database options for finding meetings and groups in general really sucks. I was a software engineer before I was a junkie so it's been in the back of mind to build a website or app that is better for finding groups that they can register with but..again I'm so freshly clean I havent started something like that yet. Still may though soon....after I find a sponsor.

Yeah finding meetings can be like finding a needle in a haystack, and it's always so dicey, because you never know who's going to be there. Some groups just suck.

That's a pretty decent concept for an app -- you might be able to get it funded through gov't grants even. I'm a web designer so hmu when you're feeling stronger and maybe we could collab :).

I wish I could help you more. While I've never been a heroin addict, I have done some pretty hardcore opiates when in the hospital, and now I totally understand. (also, I'm an alcoholic who really needs to get back on the wagon). Stuff that feels that good can never be a positive thing.

Oh shit, that's funny you happen to be a web designer :) cool. I feel for alcoholics man. If I play my cards right, I'll never have to be around opiates again. Alcoholics though...its everywhere. I cant imagine staying clean if everytime I walk into a gas station they were selling dope and rigs in a fridge right next to me. Its crazy. Thats a nightmare. If you're still alive, then it's never too late to get back on the wagon. You sound like you have it together and for me, it was hard to actually quit when things weren't a complete disaster. It's only when everything fell apart that I really said..ok..it's time. Hopefully you wont have to go through that in order to quit again. If you ever wanna talk about shit or need some sober support hmu too. Helping others helps me stay clean but as selfish as it is I genuinely have enjoyed talking with you and hope you can get back on track :)

Yeah, a female male sponsor sponsee or vice versa is a big no no. Beyond that, I've had dealers chill in front of meetings and hit people up going inside asking if they need to cop. Lowest scumbags on earth but it's pretty common, at least in my city.

I have a hard time with the whole reason for being. I've never seen much purpose to my life. We're all just working until we die. The joy that people feel in the between times has always alluded me so..its all still seems a little pointless. I'm going through the motions right now though. I'm trying new things, trying to find something that gives me a reason to get out of bed. No luck yet but..its something to do I guess.

Like I said, I've heard stories. Those are some low ass scumbags camping out at meetings. Good lord.

It can be really hard to find something to keep you waking up every day, I know. But at the end of the day, you have to find it. And it can be tiny little moments of joy and togetherness that just randomly happens at a park, or on the bus, or just randomly on the street.

But you have to stay off the H. If you don't it'll kill you, and you have too kind a soul to let the darkness take you over.

Thanks man, I have been kind of a scumbag these last few years and forget that I used to care about people. Other than how to get money out of them to buy dope. It's insane how much it'll change you. I appreciate the fact that you see some good and not just a junkie.

You're not a junkie, you're /u/Wiffle_Snuff. Junkie is just a word used to describe an aspect of your personality that you've left behind.

You're kind and there are people out there that care for you and want you to succeed. And one of those people is somewhere inside of you still, if you can find them.

You're really sweet :) I dont think I've ever cared for myself, which is the problem, but it can also be kind of an adventure if I look at the right way. Discovering who I am and what life is about should be a good thing and that's my task. I used to look at it like work. And it is but that's not all it is. Thanks for your support. You're extremely kind <3

I just like to help people when I have the opportunity. You seemed like you needed a bit of help. But thank you :).

Ditto on the reaching out thing. If you are hitting a hard spot and need to talk I can try my damnest to be there. If you're interested, send me a PM and i'll send you my email address.

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Thanks, more often than not I wish I weren't. I'm like cockroach though. In the great words of Wayne Campbell, [she] "cant be killed by conventional weapons..."

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I hope things get better for you too then man. Life is fucking wild :/

If it helps, no one's life was supposed to be like this. If i told 15 year old me that at 40 i'd be overweight, still in my home town working an office job and having as little sex as i'm having, i'd probably have killed older me.

Yeah, I guess that's life right? But if I told 15 year old me, you'll have a great career, freedom and success then at 26 you're in for a nervous breakdown, will become a heroin addict, homeless and have nothing at almost 30, I'd have done things much differently. Honestly, I'd kill to be in your position. I'm deathly unhealthily skinny, no car, no job. You're a lot better off than you think. I'm not trying to minimize your situation at all. I'm just trying to help you see the good you have in your life :) I wish you the very best. Change the things you want to change now because if you dont, it only gets worse and will be harder to change later.

wow, I have never heard of this before, thanks for sharing!

My age is showing.

many bad newses have happened re sunscreen since 1997, might need an update -- see coral reefs + Vitamin D deficiency + melanoma true origins....

😂 My gf worships the sun so much she gets burnt like every summer. Am a bit afraid of August when she's taking my nordic ass to France to visit a beach in Nice. I'm as pale as they come - been called captain of a chalkship half my life. I'm probably just gna paintroll the sunscreen all over me.

It’s not good to get sunburnt a lot.

I'm aware... dno how to stop her though. She just loves getting a tan. I've tried to tell her every single time to wear enough potent enough sunscreen. 🙃

If you're sitting on a popular beach, there will likely be somewhere nearby to rent beach umbrellas. Whatever it costs (won't be much), it's totally worth it to have your own spot of shade all day long to hide in.

Don't forget to refresh it. Putting it on is good, but on a hot day it will wear off. Going in the sea may also wash it off.

Should say on the bottle how often to put more on.

Even on muggy days. I wear sunscreen everyday and I am pale, but I know I’ll age so much better than if I tanned throughout the year.

Personally i think it’s better to be pale with nice smooth skin now than tan but have wrinkly wrecked skin in a few years. It’s really just not worth it.

Piggybacking off this. Many sunscreens offer adequate UVB protection (indicated by SPF), but not adequate UVA protection. UVA rays are heavily responsible for photo-aging.

I use Asian sunscreen that has great UVA protection (indicates by PA++++). I didn’t start until my late 20’s, but I apply often now, and hope it will make a big difference in how I age.

Do most common american sunscreens not protect against UVA rays? Or are you talking about crappy generics? Is it obvious to find out on the bottle?

There is no standard in the US, unlike in Asia and the EU. So it’s not easy to tell how much UVA protection their is, and many ingredients that offer great protection against UVA rays there, are not approved in the US. I use Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence PA++++

We don't have the whole PA++++ thing here, but "broad spectrum" is the closest indicator

Cannot recommend Korean/Japanese sunscreen enough! They're also better formulated so you don't feel greasy or have a white cast.

This. Early 30s here but consistently get mistaken for mid-20s...and I love it! Definitely sunscreen to thank.

Damn it. You beat me to the punch

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Even if you're basically immune to sunburn (I'm white, and I never seem to sunburn anymore for whatever reason), it doesn't follow that you're immune to skin cancer.

I dunno man, is it not bad for your skin to have that stuff on your face all day with the stuff they put into it? granted I have no idea what goes into sunscreen.

As long as you wash it off at the end of the day, there is no harm to your skin. Just please use a proper face wash and not your shampoo/body wash for your face!

not on my coral reefs you don't!

And, turns out vitamin D deficiency is actually a bigger killer numbers-wise than melanoma which is most often genetic anyway -- go figure

I don't know why you've been downvoted - There's been many studies showing the direct link between coral mortality and ingredients found in SOME sunscreens. We need to protect ourselves from the sun but also be aware of our impact on the environment so we don't make things worse.

luckily I care a lot more about speaking my mind/the truth than karma points ;D thank you, I agree w you. and yes, there's a difference re mineral vs 'high tech' sunscreens but you understood my point, thx

If I have been feeling unproductive I like to make a when I'm bored list. It has a mixture of fun and practical things I could be doing. Things like put a wash on, message a friend, etc

This is one of my favorites. I’ve had a to-do list for years, and i’m pretty decent at working through it weekly/daily.

But i’m bored all the time, and I don’t really have any hobbies. I never write down simple stuff, or ‘to-do while bored’ stuff. I like it!

Then proceed to not do anything on the list, and instead add more things to it :D

I read "massage a friend"

Same here. Glad I re-read it

yo I got your message, too busy, sorry

Browse reddit...

What does putting a wash on mean?

Putting clothes in the washer I'm pretty sure?

This is actually a great idea I haven't heard of! And so simple! Thank you internet stranger!

After you finish using a dish or cup, wash it right away.

This is such great advice!

It's also a good way of equalizing the chores in a shared household. Back when I had roommates, they would constantly try to say that all the dishes were mine, thus making me clean the entire sink of disgusting grime.

I got it into my head to start washing and drying every single item of mine as soon as I used it. When they tried to pin the gross chore on me, I would gladly show that I had not contributed even one dish to the mountain in the sink.

They were NOT happy campers to have to do their own chores.

Sounds like you had some asshole roommates.

Make a mess? Clean it your own damned self.

I once had a roommate who was absolutley disgusting to the point where if I didn't regularly clean up her mess in the kitchen not only would it reek but we would practically have a fruit fly infestation.

Hope things are better now. :)

Oh yeah! To make things worse, they were my fiance's brother and SIL, so I had to play nice to a degree. They had the exact same behavior with other household chores, so I had to get creative when proving, "You guys are the problem.

We need to hook your roommate up with my ex! He was the same exact way with the dishes, down to the insect problem.

I do not envy you your previois situation. Also ex roommate and thank fuck for that.

I'm sure she found other people to trick into a hellish landscape of unwashed dishes and a litterbox overflowing with cat shit and piss.

Why don't people understand common spaces? Why don't they just get that it's about respect and responsibility.

So lazy.

I once lived with a guy who lectured me on his meaning of responsibility, instead of cleaning up after himself, haha

Holy hell I woulda socked him.

I live by myself. Still some arsehole doesn't do the dishes.

You must have a ghost.

Same. I used to have roommates who would almost never do their dishes and then try to say they were all mine because I cook more than they do. They weren’t happy when I started cleaning up my own mess the moment I made it so I could say with confidence that none of the dishes in the sink were mine.

They’d also just squish the trash down in the can instead of changing the bag. And then when there was too much to squish down, they’d just keep piling garbage on top.

And they wondered why that apartment was almost always infested with fruit flies.

THIS IS SO GOOD OMG.

Leaving it till later or the next morning just makes it so much worse.

Also, I'd like to add; Clean as you go when you are cooking. Done with the cutting board? Wash it. Finished using a pan and something else is still cooking? Wash it. Done with the eggs? Put them away. Finished with the spices? Put them away.

Nothing feels better than coming back into the kitchen and all you have to do after your meal is clean a few pots/the plates and stuff you ate with.

I wish I could get this into peoples minds. Makes cooking a lot easier also. Plus I hate leaving another mess for someone else to clean up. I hate when someone says, "I cooked, so you can clean!" and proceed to leave a hurricane of a mess.

I cooked so you clean only works if the cooker cleaned as they went. That way it's not this terrible mess that is a massive undertaking. Clean up enough so the person you just cooked for doesn't resent you ffs.

It drives me nuts when my boyfriend cooks at his place because he repeatedly does not clean as he goes and the mess after dinner is insane.

I am re-training him though. It's a long process.

Lol let me know how that goes.

So far he has illustrated himself as educable. I have moderate hopes. Sucks that I love him so damned much. Lol

But what about the four week soak it needs?

nervously glances at pile of dishes by the sink

I live with some roommates and it annoys me to see that while they use the dishes I wash right away and keep aside they can't seem to return the favor and just use and keep the dirty dishes on the stove.

I had this problem for a while. It was frustrating to know that I was being a responsible person and cleaning the dishes and silverware that I used, only to have to clean someone else's dirty dishes in order to make another meal for myself, because someone else was using the dishes I had washed and then leaving them to fester in the sink.

I solved the problem by keeping a set of dishes and silverware hidden in my room. Eat, clean, put them back in my hiding spot for next time.

I have been with them for just 3 months and this is what I have to deal with. Keeping separate utensils seems like a drastic step and I have yet to reach that stage but it could be worth considering if things stay the way they are. If I had enough money I’d stay solo. That would be my first priority.

Why do I find you EVERYWHERE? And I only notice ur name.

Or buy a dish washer

Can you help me convince my wife?!

Can you call my roommate and tell him this?

Man ever since I tagged you with "Headbutts Women", even though you're not tagged anymore I still notice you all over the place.

I started doing this a couple years ago, seeing an empty sink and clean kitchen all the time did wonders for my stress levels.

It's hard to stick to at first if you've been a lifelong slob like me, but make a commitment, force yourself to do it for a month or 2 and it'll become ingrained as habit, you won't fight yourself anymore. That works for a lot of things, actually.

'Don't just put things down, put them away.' This makes a surprisingly massive difference to keeping a house tidy and manageable.

This is a massively wasteful use of soap and hot water if each item is individually washed. Perhaps start with half a sink-full at minimum?

Also, own less dishes. Its easy to grab a new one when there's 16 plates.

Alternative for those of us who live in 2019... ;)

"After you finish using a dish or cup, put it in the dishwasher"

or just get a dishwasher and put the dish or cup in it atleast...

To do this u need to not be a procrastinator at heart. So yeah already know not help.

I wish my housemates listened to this advice.

What a waste of time. Dish washer my dude.

You need to throw out all the garbage from your head, understand what makes you unhappy and try to change it.

Yeah, but it's my head making me unhappy.

Fucking head.

I said this to another poster but maybe this will help you as well:

Here's an awesome thing my therapist told me that solved this problem for me.

Give the negative voice a name in your head and any time you think something negative, tell that name to stop it.

When you associate a name with it, it's no longer you saying it, it's them. We don't typically have a defense mechanism for ourselves against ourselves but we do against external comments.

"But what if external comments are right?" That's the negative voice. You are doing the best you can with what you are dealing with. Every person has their own experience and story.

When you feel like you have to prove yourself, ask yourself: Who are you trying to prove yourself to and why?

Are you actually trying to prove yourself to them... Or to you? Why?

When you get rid of that nasty negative voice in your head and stop trying to prove yourself and instead focus on bettering yourself or doing what gives you drive (for me, it's game development!), You go from trying to keep what you have from leaving and go to appreciating what you have. When you can appreciate what you have, it's easy to find something to smile about.

Also, I have GAD and now take anxiety medicine (Lexapro) and it's been a world of difference because it keeps me out of my head and the constant worry is gone.

Another thing I do is clean slate every day and give compliments when I see things.

For compliments: See something that makes you say in your head: Cool!/nice!/pretty!/etc

Say it out loud to whoever it's related to. The more you do it, the more you realize it's super easy to give compliments and people love them. When they smile, you smile. It makes you both feel better.

As for clean slate every day, basically, I stopped caring what happened the day before and moved on. Did someone upset you yesterday? Maybe they had a really shitty day. Move on, it takes so much energy to hold onto that.

Did something bad happen yesterday to you? There's nothing you can do to undo what happened. Think about the next steps for how to address it instead of lingering on it.

The more you let go of the negative, the more you will see the positives in the day and life.

Sure, repeated incidents from the same person subconsciously get inbedded in you but that means you are judging them based on a one time thing, you are basing them on their actions over time and makes it easier to see people as people living a life and not as people out to get you.

Let me know if you want to talk or want any other advice!

If you're not calling your negative voice Gollum, you're doing it wrong.

Personally, I've been calling my inner voice "Other Barry" for quite a while now.

Et me buddy

I called mine Stupid cause it was stupid to down on myself and I hate being stupid.

Wont that work against you? Unless you can actually Split with MPS, you know deep down that's still you and you're calling yourself stupid, and the stupid persona will retaliate and call you a bitch?

I had someone else say this to me as well but I see it as a bit of a feedback loop.

I don't want to do stupid things. I don't want to be associated with stupid. Calling it stupid (despite it technically being me) allows me to view it as something outside of myself. Because I don't like being stupid, I don't let myself do those actions because they are stupid and I move away from the thing causing me to do those things: Stupid.

So because the voice is negative and is associated with a negative instead of being associated with me directly, it allows me to distance myself from it.

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Oh my god thank you, this is perfect.

I'm calling mine Gary because Pokemon is life.

You mean Dicknose?

I named my negative voice gollum, now everything he speaks comes in the gollum voice. I'm going mad, plz halp

My first thought was "Karen."

If you’re not calling your negative voice GOLB, you’re doing it wrong.

I had Voldemort in mind. :)

I made my username based on the name i give my negative voice.

It usually works. I start giggling to myself, and can't remember what i was worried about.

My negative voice in the head never called me precious, :(, otherwise I would’ve thought of my negative voice differently.

I was just auditioning "Cunty McCuntface", but I'm open to other options.

Crusty cunt wipe

I named mine 4lteredBeast.

​

prnounced fouralteredbeast.

I was thinking Screwtape or Wormwood. Fun fact, Andy Serkis actually played Screwtape in a radio drama of the Screwtape Letters.

Kevin. His name is fucking Kevin.

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Not sure if the other stuff got deleted...

But basically I have a card game that combines Uno and Dungeons and Dragons and a video game that's way out in development that features switching characters on the fly and is designed similar to Zelda style but with evolving AI for enemies and bosses, npcs with their own lives, and your actions will change how the world sees you and changes.

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Shadow Tails

If you Google Shadow Tails Ost, it's the first thing, under my composer: ModalModule

He's awesome.

I'll link it via PM.

I'm naming my negative voice "Karen"!

Becareful of naming it someone you know (if you do) because subconsciously you might start associating negative feelings with them.

I named mine Stupid cause the act was stupid and I hate being called stupid.

But what if I name it after someone I already associate negative feelings with?

​

Looking at you, Karen.

I have no control over that haha.

Please, Stupid, bring back the kids; I miss them.

Hello my discord friend

~~You have discovered me. From here on out, we commute in PMs!~~

I'll call mine Babidi.

I call mine the Asshole. My stupid Asshole head treats me way worse than anyone I know.

Trump would be nice

"You shouldn't be driving drunk"

"Shut the fuck up Karen"

Classic Karen.

​

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That bitch in my head is a total Karen!

I think ragingwaffles is a much better name to use

I gave my negative voice the name Karen because that is the name of my step mom and shes the one that instilled that negative voice so solidly. It really is the echoes of her voice.

You know it's funny, I did the "name the bad voice inside" thing a while back, and I went with a name that kinda was like a super villain. I think I liked the idea of this epic battle. But I think in some ways it's slightly backfired - it feels like I'm fighting against this super intelligent, relentless super villain. So I think I'm gonna rename him to something annoying and simple. Cause that's all he is.

Thanks so much for sharing this. It was very helpful to me.

I just called mine Stupid because the negative comments are stupid things to say about someone and I hate being called stupid as I pride myself on knowing things.

Not to get too political, but the idea of "Donald" popped into my head and that's speaking to me right now for a voice I don't give a lot of credence and I generally think is wrong a lot...

This seems unhealthy

As someone with anxiety, thank you for this comment! Somehow it made me feel better!

Glad I could give some help. Let me know if you want to talk. :)

my guy is called geoff and he's an arse.

fuck off geoff.

I should most likely do this, because honestly that negative voice in my head is WAY meaner than I figured I was capable of.

I never have negative thoughts about myself anymore except for a very brief moment after I do something dumb. I take about 10 minutes to think about what went wrong and figure out how to fix it or deal with it.

Now my confidence is up and my positive feelings are too!

replying to this so I;'ll see it forever - love it all.

Let me know if you ever need advice or help. :)

And now I'm schizophrenic. Thanks!

There is medicine for that but I am not a medical professional or a therapist. If you feel that you actually may have schizophrenia, please consult a doctor if you feel it is interfering in your life.

I think they mean multiple personalities not schizophrenic. Multiple personalities from always talking with the other guy in your head. Also I think they're joking, but it was my first thought as well.

I’m saving your comment. My sister deals with a lot of very negative self-talk and has been struggling to find things that help her. Meds are helping and she does see someone every two weeks, but things are still a struggle for her. I think some stuff that you said may be stuff she hasn’t tried yet, and maybe they could help. I’ll pass this along to her. Thank you so much. :)

Let me know if you want anything else. I still have plenty of advice from my experienced growth!

Edit: As in, I have grown a lot since then and many things make more sense now that I have a clear mind to see them.

I definitely will. Thank you so much :)

Every time I’ve tried this, the negative voice in my head just says “you’re only trying to name me because you think it’ll make you feel better. It wont. You’re still a miserable piece of shit.” So what then?

Well, I called mine Stupid. And when he says stuff like that, I say back: You're stupid.

Here is something that might help: Do you try to make others smile because you struggle to smile yourself? Or do you try to help others because you feel they can be happy while you can't?

Hmm... I think I try to make people smile because I just enjoy making people happy? And the positive reinforcement makes me feel good. I’ve found that my coping mechanism to “Stupid” is to get pissed off at it and show it that it’s wrong. For example, if I’m out on a run and Stupid starts telling me that I should just give up, I say “fuck you, I’m better than you. watch this” and pick up the pace a bit. But it’s not always the healthiest coping mechanism, I’m sure.

Competitive! I do that too! Mine is less: You should give up and more.. Just take a break/stop.

Then I'm like: Nah, bro, I can go harder.

I see the giving up part of my brain as something to overcome. I didn't want to do things due to risk of failure. I didn't want to exercise due to risk of teasing. Etc.

When it comes down to it, it's a reaction in the brain. I'm smart enough, being a human, to go: You know what chemicals? No. You're a reaction and I do what I want.

I found that most of the time, channeled anger at the voice would get me out of a depression loop because it was the only thing I could actually feel. That doesn't sound too unhealthy honestly, it's not saying you're useless or you're bad, it's just like: I don't want to..... And you're like: Bitch, I'm the driver here. Take your hand off the radio cause we are listening to Eye of the Tiger.

Hell yeah man, that’s a great outlook on it! Thanks for being so patient and understanding with me and all the other people you’ve been replying to. You seem like a genuinely amazing person. Sucks that we’re burdened with such dark thoughts, but it’s great that we can come to a place like this and talk it through. Best wishes!

Negative voice name = Blurryface.

This is fantastic advice, and relatively simple.

You seem more like a u/ReasonableWaffles

Well, I made this account back when I was still dealing with anger, depression, and other things. It was also my Xbox live name. I've actually had people tell me if it was anyone else asking them to do or try something, they wouldn't even consider it but because I take the time to understand and work with them, they feel they can give it a chance.

Interesting advice that I will never follow, saved tho.

Because you don't need it?

Another way: imagine that you are your own best friend, what advice would you give?

We often treat others better than ourselves

Past Me has been a huge help to Future Me when I try to help him out.

I need to get away from Past Me.

Me From A Parallel Universe Who Has No Baggage is who is my best helper friend.

I had a therapist call this voice the “Inner Critic.” Once I learned to recognize my inner critic is was truly able to focus on the positive around me instead of the negative inside my head. Great advice!

I offhandedly refereed to mine as "the gestapo" with my last therapist and it stuck throughout all our sessions.

But what if the negative voice is right? If I do this what's stopping me from entering a state of constant gratification no matter how bad of a person I'm actually being, no matter how I'm affecting others and myself?

I get that a lot of times it's just self-loathing which results in nothing good but I don't see how indefinitely shutting off a voice that tells me how much of a piece of shit and lazy-ass I'm being, and rightfully so, can lead to much good either.

The problem is that with that constant negative voice pushing you down, you have no other context to see the world except via flat on the ground.

Once you have been able to stand up and dust yourself off, you can better see where you stand. Sure, you might sometimes be a dick but you've taught yourself how to see who you are now. As for going overboard and being an absolute terrible person, sometimes you have to take a moment and think about where you stand. Where are the people you trust? The people who will help you if you fall down? The people who want to hang out with you?

If you find that these people are missing, distant, or hard to find... Look at yourself. Are you being someone who people want to be around? Are you always making jokes? If you're making jokes, what kind? Are you joking about others? Maybe you're being offensive. Are you always stressed or negative about work? Maybe people can't handle the negative energy coming from you.

When I'm at work or around friends, I look for ways I can make people happy or smile.

Compliment them. Do a small favor just because it's easy. Ask them how they are doing and actually listen.

No matter how hard you try, you will still have a small negative part in you. I wipe my days clean everyday, focus on positive and rarely ever talk bad to myself ever but there are still times where I go: Hey, you're being super lazy, we need to do something. Come on.

Even though I basically can't remember most negative things that happened because I've trained myself to forget bad things each day, I still have those moments to keep me in check. However, I don't see that as a negative voice but as more of an inner critic. Someone who makes you see places you can improve or go the distance. It helps you recognize what needs to get done.

I appreciate the response. I'll think about what I can do about this.

Well, let me know if you want me to help or anything. I hope that comment made sense. Everyone is their own person with their own experience so somethings don't always work for both people.

i have anxiety, and i do this. i imagine all the mean things as said by donald drumpf, and it's so, SO easy to laugh at him and tell him to fuck off. it's been a total game changer for my self-esteem and productivity.

I'm glad that you're having a better time! :)

That's a really clever way to break out of a negative feedback loop. I like it.

As for clean slate every day, basically, I stopped caring what happened the day before and moved on. Did someone upset you yesterday? Maybe they had a really shitty day. Move on, it takes so much energy to hold onto that.

This is probably the biggest thing that helped me. Learning how to let go and move on is incredibly useful.

Let go petty shit dont let people walk all over you. Some people have a hard time separating the two.

Thanks for typing all this out! I am currently struggling with a pretty deep depression that I've had off and on for years - to the point where I self identify with it. I love the idea about giving the negative voice a name other than my own. Will definitely try this. <3

Please let me or someone know if you need help or want to talk about it. I know the feeling of existing to exist and being so down that you try to make others feel better because you feel like you can't be happy yourself.

I needed this comment. I swear all the advice on reddit for self improvement is so nice. I've gained a few great habits like working out on weekdays and eating less junk food just because it gets repeated so much I thought there must be something to it.

I am going to try this but I am dubious, what if bartholmew becomes his own separate self??

That's mostly a joke BTW but thats what popped into my never silent mind upon reading this.

Then you should consult a doctor for help.

I am not a medical professional or a therapist and I am only providing insight into what my therapist said to me as it worked amazingly.

I know, sorry the semi flippant nature of the comment didn't come across correctly. Thanks for. Responding.

Nah, I got it, I was mostly posting that for people if they were concerned. I should have added a piece on there saying that. :)

How are you doing these days?

Pretty good. I was answering comments for 3 hours straight cause this post got so big haha.

I'm terrified of launching my card game and I need money to keep things going but I'm low on money. I could launch the Kickstarter now but I want a mobile demo before I do that so people can try before they buy.

I want it to do well and I've gotten lots of positive feedback (almost 0 negative) and yet I'm still scared it will fail horribly. It's the first time I've ever invested money in a project Ive wanted to do. I will still try even if it fails but if it succeeds, it would be a great help to me on so many fronts. Bills, debt, development... Etc.

Well it is good advice.

Wouldn't mind hearing about ur game but have never played a card game like that so maybe wasted on me...

Wow. Not only can I use this, but I know someone that really needs to read this comment right now. Very nicely put!

I hope it helps!

Also a game dev, also with GAD, thanks for this post! Helps me feel less alone in this. Now I need to find a good name for my inner negative!

I called mine Stupid so I could say: that's just Stupid. Whenever I heard negative because being downing on yourself is a stupid action and I don't want to be stupid. Haha.

If you want to talk about anything, let me know!

Medicine was a huge help for my GAD.

This only works if you have anything redeemable about yourself. Otherwise its just bullshit like all self help crap.

Everyone has their own experiences.

Everyone has something.

There are so many things in the world you can do or support that there's literally no way you have nothing.

Everything is perspective, my man.

Hundred and fifty years ago, being fat and pale was a sign of wealth. Now it's a sign of a poor diet (typically because bad food is cheap).

You have experiences that I don't and that makes you valuable to me because not only do you have a story to tell, you give me a perspective that I don't have myself.

As a game developer, that's fantastic for me! I want to create NPCs that feel alive and unique. How can I do that if I'm only one person? I need perspective from others.

Even if you go on the darkest edges of 'nothing redeemable'.. you can still serve as a bad example. (you know, that one quote... Whatever)

Or you know, it could be a chemical inbalance causing your negative thoughts and things that needs to be corrected with medicine.

My medicine helps me. :)

There absolutely is a way to have nothing. Some people are just worthless in the grand scheme of things. And we really dont have a way out, and overly cheery people on an anonymous forum cant do anything about that.

Technically, we are all worthless in the grand scheme. We arent even a blip on the radar. The most I can offer is advice from my point of view and try to help people reach a goal if I can.

What if whenever I try to come up with a name the voice tells me it’s a stupid name

What does it know? It's a voice in your head. Until that bitch of a voice gets out and deals with all the shit you have to deal with, including a voice that gives it shit... It has no idea how hard life is.

Just wanted to say, I already do some of these things and don't really struggle with negative self-talk too much, but wanted you to know I think this is great advice. It falls into the category of complimenting things that are cool. This cool. Thanks for adding one more tool in my arsenal to help my friends who aren't always as fortunate as I am.

To a degree, it reminds me of this TED talk.

https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius?language=en

I've seen that TED talk! It's awesome.

I love giving people a leg to stand on. Growing up, I had some depressive episodes and after my dad talked me out of suicide, we decided to pick a goal for me to focus on when things go tough. I decided to be the smartest person I know. Someone who can always have an answer or get you an answer. Someone who can help others.

So now I love to learn things and share the things I've learned. It really made a difference in my life because it became an excuse to not do suicide.

You're not allowed to die until you've learned everything you can.

You're what's right in the world. I don't know how old you are but you're incredibly wise. When I talk to my friends about that leg to stand on, we talk about compartmentalization and scale and that everyone has problems and they are all the "worst" because they have no point of reference to compare them to. Belittling the scale of them isn't productive and provides no real contrast for them to feel. Intellectually, they know their problems aren't as bad as many others, but, if we're honest, other peoples' problems aren't exactly our priority when we have our own- regardless of how big they are in the grand scheme of things.

Thank you. I'm 28 and I've been working on becoming a better person and getting my life under control since I was 23.

Something that people might not understand unless you tell them directly... If a problem is bad enough that someone else is concerned, maybe it's actually a problem.

As for scale or anything, the brain itself hasn't really evolved in a way to determine the difference of being hunted by an animal or worried about losing your job.

They are both looming threats. They both generate high stress. It's not about who has worse problems. So because someone lost a family member, are you not allowed to be happy?

If you lost $20 and someone has a run away dog, depending on if you are living paycheck to paycheck or if that dog is a trained attack dog by your mortal enemy.. your response will be completely different.

Just because someone else has a problem, doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have one too. If you have the means to address your problem, you can solve yours which makes you better equipped to help others with their problems.

I wanted to be in a relationship but I felt it would not be fair to them if I have problems that could impact them.

If I am dealing with mental health issues, I can't help them or devote my time to them.. because my problems will get in the way.

It's not fair to others to allow your problems to influence them.

Getting angry at someone because you are frustrated with something? How is that fair? Sometimes all that person wants to do is bring a smile to you and you respond with "What do you want?" In a negative tone, it immediately puts them on defense and makes them want to leave.

Are you causing your roommates stress because you are struggling with bills because you impulsively bought something? That's not fair to them.

As I said before, if their problem is noticable enough to bother someone else, it may not be the biggest problem in the world, but maybe it's time to look at it in a new light.

My roommate is a game yeller. When he is losing or struggling, he will yell at the screen. If we are playing co-op, he would sometimes try to throw the blame or yell at me. I told him that this bothers me and I feel that it's unfair to me as it ruins my fun.

Since he is an amazing friend, he said he was sorry and he has been working on not yelling/getting as upset as much and if he does, he tries to be mad at the game, not at the people.

The big thing isn't to come at it as accusing, it's to explain your feelings.

I feel like this is not fair to me.

This action upsets me.

I want to talk about X but I want you to know it is not meant to be negative/angry

I don't know how to say this without getting X response, do you want me to say it?

I need you to explain to me X because I don't understand/I don't think we are on the same page.

Giving the negative voice in my head a name? Isn't that how you get DID?

Not really?

I called the negative voice in my head Stupid, because I hate being called stupid and the negative self hate is stupid to do.

After a few weeks of doing this, I found I don't even need to really do it anymore because I don't down on myself anymore. When something bad happens, my response is normally: That sucks, what can I do to fix this? Instead of dwelling on it for days.

When I tell Stupid to shut the fuck up for being stupid he and I both know who I am talking about.

Yeah, you're talking about that asshole stupid.

He's just a tiny voice in your head put there by either a chemical Inbalance or a negative interaction with life. He's a bad habit. You're bigger than him, you could probably mentally bitch slap him and all he can do is say bullshit. Who the fuck says you can't be happy? Some little asshole who hasn't even been outside your head? Do you know how much shit you've had to put up with?

Until that bitch can do anything except talk shit, he's weak. Stupid isn't smart enough to do anything else. You on the other hand have to deal with life and it's constant changing. You have to adapt to things on the fly. You have to deal with a stupid little voice on top of all the other shit. He has no idea how strong you are.

I separate myself out as my active mind and my brain.

My active mind is the one I am in control of, my brain is the one that generates base level stuff. When I want to do something that's bad for me, I remember that it's my brain telling me this as a chemical reaction. It's not my active mind choosing it.

I see the voice as a tiny lump on the brain process. I am not controlling it, it is a reaction. I am a human, I am intelligent enough to recognize this reaction and act with or against it, similar to when I crave food that's bad for me and I still choose the healthier food because in the long run, the crappy food will make me feel bad and the healthy food makes me feel better.

You're smart! Most people with depression are actually some of the most intelligent people ever. Depression is typically seen primarily in highly intelligent people!

Thanks for compliments in the infinitive form but I cannot separate me from me; I won't blame the flying spaghetti monster for all my problems.

But what if the flying spaghetti monster is your problem?

Maybe it's more important to you to recognize the behaviour than it is to name it. Naming it worked for me but everyone is different. There are other ways to deal with the negativity such as every time a negative springs to mind, think of a positive to counter it.

I'm not a therapist. One thing that helped me was doing a great job at work and my boss came out and told me I was doing an amazing job. It gave me a push to do the best I could.

What if no matter how hard you try at work it's never good enough? That seems to be my case...

I felt that way and found I was in the wrong line of work.

I was working in a call center and no matter how many people I helped and how great my quality or surveys were, they straight up told me I wouldn't go anywhere because I wasn't the fastest call taker.

I got a new job. I am also working on developing my own business now because I love game development.

It was study a while back, I don't have the source. Basically it said: Ignorance is bliss. People who are intelligent are more prone to depression and anxiety because their ability to comprehend the extent of the problems.

that's exactly what caused the prevalence of DID to increase and the average number of alters per patient to increase in the 1970s lol. people seeking therapy were encouraged to give a name to the unfavorable parts of themselves.

instead of working on fixing the negative things, they were told to separate themselves from the negative action and shift the responsibility to the name that they gave to that action. seems like the person you replied to is doing the same shit

Right? I remember hearing something about that.

disassociative ID disorder is a completely different beast. i don't have it, but i watched the docu series on a&e this past season. incredible the hold it has on the brain!

Looks very good. Thanks

Let me know if I can help any.

Great advice! Thanks for sharing.

I feel like this may really help me on my bad days.

Let me know if you want to talk. :)

I... I've never understood this 'internal voice/voice in your head' thing. I just don't have some part of my mind that asks questions like "But what if external comments are right?" or anything like that...

Does that make me a psychopath? o.O

No, it doesn't. There are many different ways that people think. For example, there are people who can't picture things mentally. Yet, some are artists. Do you feel well adjusted or do you have negative feelings as well?

Is there something you are struggling with?

Do you feel well adjusted

I'm don't know what this actually means either.

do you have negative feelings as well?

I feel envious towards others? I did have what I think was hatred when I turned down for a job in favour of someone benfitting from nepotism, but aside from that, I don't have negative feelings towards myself.

Is there something you are struggling with?

I regularly get nightmares >.<

Maybe you are sleep deprived. Something like 75% of Americans have sleep apnea. I found I would have a week off nightmares once a month every month because I would be so sleep deprived that my brain was full of gunk (sleep helps you clean it out). Turns out I was having nightmares because I was waking up 39 times per hour on average due to blocked airway.

What would happen is I would stop breathing which would put my body into panic mode so I would have a nightmare then I would wake up (not conscious, just enough for my body to move, take a breathe, and go back to sleep.

I found I was waking up with a racing heart and I wore a heart monitor to bed on my wrist (one of the Garmin things) and it was showing my heart rate would go do to 40bpm then spike to 90bpm then slowly go back down the spike up again.

As for 'well adjusted' I simply meant, do you feel unsatisfied with your current life in a way that impacts your mental state or do you feel like you are on the right path to move forward?

I literally just screenshotted the hole fucking post. Should be printing that out.

I have one like 1 comment up without the 'other poster' part at the top if you want a cleaner version.

Found it! Thanks, friend :)

Karen

Make sure to avoid names of people you know as you may associate negative feelings with the name.

I don't know any Karen's but I feel like I know oh so many

This is great advice. Thank you so much for sharing!

Thank you for sharing that!

Reading your comment made me feel light inside.

Thank you so much. I have been having a terrible few months with my anxiety/depression and I have been losing my ability to keep the nasty thoughts about myself away. I’m also a working artist/creative and it makes me feel even worse when I can’t create.

How did you go about finding a therapist right for you?

Honestly, I just picked one that was covered and went.

I just needed to talk to someone who was trained to deal with issues like this because I lacked the knowledge to fix it myself.

The biggest thing is going. Just go! Find one and go!

There is so much wisdom in this comment, it should be it’s own post. Thank u for sharing :)

Name it Steve. For some reason, it just feels good to tell Steve to fuck right off.

Fuck me this was an awesome comment.

God dammit Brenda will you please shut up?? That’s how mine goes.

Also I wanted to say thanks for this comment. I’ve been in bad headspace since Friday and this is true food for thought.

Sounds a bit like CBT

Yeah fuck off Chad

That’s a good way to develop the Beast and freaking Patricia

This is a pretty cool comment.

My first thought was to wonder about the consequences of meeting a person whose parents gave them the same name you gave your negative voice.

Fuck you negative Steve voice in my head

I always say my name to stop my negative voice speaking in my head. It works. Atleast until my negative voice comes back, which could be as little as 3 seconds (mainly when I'm alone and not listening to music or any other thing I like to do) or as much as 8 hours (that rare time when I actually sleep for 8 hours straight)

My therapist told me to argue with the voice. We called it the "nuh uh" voice; whenever someone complimented me that shitty ass voice in the back of my head went "nuh uh, I'm stupid" or whatever. At first I couldn't argue with it, so she suggested I just ignore it. So whenever the nuh uh voice would start up I would think "you know, this isn't relevant right now, I don't have time to engage you." And then gradually I started arguing back. Made a big difference

I know that feeling so well.

The more people complimented me, the worse I felt because every time they said a positive, my brain would try to one-up it with a negative.

I don't have that anymore but man that sucked.

I'm afraid this would lead me to some sort of multiple personality disorder.

"But what if external comments are right?" That's the negative voice. You are doing the best you can with what you are dealing with. Every person has their own experience and story.

When you feel like you have to prove yourself, ask yourself: Who are you trying to prove yourself to and why?

Are you actually trying to prove yourself to them... Or to you? Why?

Well, you can call that voice mom and dad. That can reveal some things about your past, so try that at home.

Awesome gateway to split personality disorder

Now I have a tulpa thanks for nothing.

... and that's how you get multiple personalities.

I just hum in my head

Dude I have been super depressed the past week due to miscellaneous bad things happening in my life and this comment cheered me up. I will try to think about this more. Thank you!

I'm gonna give this a shot today. I'll shall name my bad thoughts Frank. Though I pretty much only think bad about myself so this will be hard

My first instinct was to call the voice the n word lmao what is my brain

I see this advice all the time but I just don’t get it.

The negative voice is me. That’s all I know. It’s not like I have some tiny parasite living inside my brain that’s telling me bad thoughts. I am the one who is thinking it. If I try to separate is from myself, then what am I left with? If I try to pretend I don’t actually feel any of those negative feelings, then what do I feel? Which feelings are real?

If someone did something bad to me, why should I just forget about it? Why should I continue to let them walk all over me? It’s super frustrating to see other people find success with some simple trick when it doesn’t work at all for me.

Hey, I'm sorry I missed your comment when you originally posted it.

The negative voice is part of you but it's not the You that you want to be.

Everyone has an ideal image of themselves in their head and I doubt anyone sees that negative voice in their ideal image. Who honestly wants something that constantly puts them down or pushes them towards failure?

I suppose it worked better for me because I used to roleplay a lot and this allowed me to have 'characters' in my head for each person I made.

The important part of the exercise is recognizing the problem and looking for a solution.

When it tells you a negative, think of a positive. You are basically stuck in a loop. You feel bad so you make yourself feel bad.

If you are the one thinking the negative thoughts, why are you thinking them? If it is you, then you should be in control enough to kill it if you want... Or it could be a trained habit at this point. Bad thing happens, you have to say a bad thing about yourself.

How do you know it's not a chemical inbalance?

Which feelings are real? All of them. They are all real.

You can have mixed feelings. You know how when a day starts out bad, it seems to get worse? It's basically confirmation bias. You see something bad happened so you expect more bad to happen. You say you are having a bad day, your brain looks for more things to add to the log of the bad day so you can prove you had a bad day.

If someone did something bad to you, how much does it matter? How much does it honestly impact you?

Did they punch you on purpose? That's understandable to be upset for a day or so and be wary of them.

Did they spill coffee on you on accident? It was an accident and they will probably think about it every time they see you for the next few days or week. Most people will feel bad enough that they will punish themselves over it.

It's not worth the energy to hold onto that negative feeling towards them, it was an accident.

It's not about letting people walk over you, it's about knowing if something is worth making an issue out of.

If it's something that happens on accident or if they are having a bad day, maybe let it slide.

If they do it on purpose or repeatedly do something and refuse to change if you ask, then it may be time to try and remove that person from your circle as they may be toxic.

For you, I think it might work best with the negativity if when you start to have negative thoughts, ask yourself why you feel this way. Trace it back to the source of where the expectation comes from.

Most frustrations in life are when assumptions or expectations don't match the end result.

You didn't expect someone to spill coffee on accident.

You assume someone won't punch you.

So, when you start saying you did something stupid... Where is that expectation coming from? What makes that action stupid and why should it matter if it was an accident? The best you can do is recognize that it happened and start working towards a way to fix it.

If you want to talk more or anything, I'd be happy to listen.

Waffle clan, checking in! I do the clean slate thing in the evening, as I tend to ascribe negativity to me and positivity to external factors. I try to forgive and be grateful. Doesn't always work, but the longer I do it, something starts to shift, kind of.

Another thing to understand about negativity is that it's a basic survival mechanism. You focus on it because it's those things that make a situation unsafe/undesirable/etc, so you can change them next time. The good stuff tends to get forgotten, because those didn't pose a threat.

So that's cool, but your system can be inclined to overdo the safety dance. To balance that, my therapist told me to write down 3 positive things a day. Can be extremely small, like the cat blinked and I felt recognized, anything that made you pause and feel something good for a moment. As you know you'll have to produce them in the evening, you slowly start shifting your focus a bit during the day. Plus you build a string of positive history, which makes it surprisingly more difficult to claim your life is all shit and misery. It's not, focus is everything.

Edit: typo

This really helped turn around my day! Turned around my week, even. Commenting and saving so I can look back to it! Thanks!!

I'm gonna call my negative voice duckface.....

Edit: fcking autocorrect. Well, I guess it either duckface or fecker now.

I just tried naming the negative voice in my head and ended up having a 10 minute long argument with my new friend Rick.

This is great advice! I'd like to add my own perspective:

Personally I've had times where sadness and lethargy begat more sadness and lethargy because I was only focused on my own perspective in my head. To counter this, it's helpful to get some extrinsic motivation. However, encouragement from friends and family is not helpful for everyone, or you may not have much support. It may ring hollow, or sound patronizing, or result in self-pity. For some, it works well to do the opposite: embrace the negative voice and pretend it's someone you hate (or think is an idiot, something along those lines). I use a certain political figure that I won't name, but it can be literally anyone.

As someone who is very competitive, this works better for me than encouragement (whether intrinsic or extrinsic). When I'm in those dark places the issue is having enough energy, spark, vitality to get up and move/work/be productive. Anger and frustration are much more effective at getting me over that hump of lethargy, at which point I can redirect that energy to more positive emotions. Especially if exercise (ideally outside) is part of the process, those endorphins are fantastic at reshaping your mood and it's another accomplishment for the day to be proud of.

This kind of turned into a stream of consciousness rant, so I hope it makes sense and helps somebody out there make sense of what they're feeling. It won't be easy or pretty, but it is possible.

Hey! I've done that before. Anger is one of the only emotions that could get me out of sadness because it was basically the only thing I could still kind of feel.

Thank you for adding your perspective too!

I always call my negative voice "Bitch Penis Head Dumb Fuck Idiot"

This is wonderful, saved to read later!

Isn't that basically creating a tulpa?

Your therapist is amazing. This is great advise.

While a good idea in theory, I can't help but think this would lead to DID in more fragile minds.

It's like deliberate compartmentalization of your brain would lead to a full compartmentalization of your brain/ life.

Ooh, I already have that. Never had a therapist suggest it, but that's an interesting approach. I just did it to try to apply humor to it. I have two. One is the typical negative crap, and her name is Myrtle. The other one is way worse, and I call her anti-[my name]. I don't see her often, but she's fucking awful. It isn't even like sad thoughts or hurt thoughts. It's this aggressive self-hate, and she's VERY good at finding things to loathe about me. Obviously these are actually just weird parts of my personality, a result of mental illness, but embodying them into people does make it a little less abstract.

​

It's not as easy as just kicking them out, but sometimes it does help to separate the thoughts so that you don't just accept them as who you are.

You don't sound very happy with your head. How could your head feel happy with you, in this state?

No it's not. It's only some things in your head that are. There's other things in there too that can make you happy and that'll let you realise you're awesome if you can just get in control of the shit stuff

I've been unhappy with myself for a long time and still am. Last year I started to set myself goals to better myself in various ways and when you actually follow through with it it's super rewarding.

I started with one thing (being more conscious about what I eat) and once I felt like that was part of my routine I went to the next thing.

Half a year later and I'm much more aware of the things I eat and buy, cut down on my candy consumption and hit the gym for the first time this weekend. Next goal is to learn cooking.

Getting started is always the hardest part, but when you do it it just feels great. You can feel like a winner, even if you made up the competition

Cut your head.

"I've got good news and bad news. The good news is it's all in your head. The bad news is it's malignant."

Then stop thinking

It has to be simple

Right? I've been trying to clear out garbage in my head for years, but some jerk keeps dragging it back in and supergluing it to the floor again.

Entire sects of religion and philosophy are dedicated to clearing your head, there's nothing simple about it.

Not exactly “simple” but still a good way to live.

is it though? I find happiness a super transient state of being.. there's better ways to orient yourself though where happiness and contentment are a frequent byproduct.. like having goals you work towards.. helping others... learning things.. being responsible for other people..

​

better to accept that shittiness and pain and unhappiness is part of life, but to cherish the warmth when it's there

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The issue with that is it's the head creating those shitty thoughts and also the head trying to get rid of them. It's easy enough to say "You choose how this works" but in reality that's not true. Suggesting otherwise is ignoring the reality that is mental illness and reeks of r/wowthanksimcured

Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard. I'd say it's still sound advice but some people may need help doing it.

The thing is that this advice isn't for people diagnosed with mental illness. Some people just have plain old low self-esteem/motivation who would benefit from a changeup in how they think.

I think such people probably have been tunnel-brained by their lack of range of experience in whatever domain they are insecure about, and they would benefit from new and broader experiences shaking up their neural soup.

Also, as someone with a history of catastrophic mental illness, there was a point in my recovery where I finally encountered "plain old low self-esteem/motivation" and that was progress for me, it was finally just me and not worse stuff intruding.

Yes but just saying "oh fix that" doesn't work. Do you think people would continue to have low self esteem or low motivation if they could. It simply isn't feasible. Either you ha e the mentality to fix it, or you dont, and if you dont you have to find other ways of fixing it.

I'm not sure how to help people then. Would you say it's okay to force people to do things that make them happy?

It depends. You can help them help themselves but you can't really force them to do anything. Encourage then to do things, encourage them to change their way of thinking, but if it doesn't seem to be working, encourage them to seek professional help.

Fixing these things takes a lot of time and effort and there is no simple solution. Helping them understand that is the first step though.

Actually the crux of cognitive behavioral therapy is to find what is afflicting your thoughts negatively and determine if it's baseless, or if there is something you can do to fix it and legitimize better thoughts. It's not a surefire method, but the idea is that a lot of negative thoughts can build up subconsciously and without intervention they just fester and alter your mood. The hope is that, if you focus on why you have those thoughts, you can overcome them and realize they're baseless.

It's a relatively common technique in therapy from what I understand, and is a bit different than saying "just think more positively lol".

Though the comment you're replying to doesn't seem to acknowledge the potential failing of this strategy.

Oh I'm fully aware that is a viable solution. I just felt the comments above were very simplified. They essentially suggested that the person experiencing those thoughts is solely to blame, and they can fix it by just not having those thoughts, which is a very harmful stance to take.

Yeah I can definitely see what you mean there. Bit of a misunderstanding on my part then, but no big deal.

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Like I said cognitive behavioral therapy isn't surefire, but it's a way to organize your thoughts between baseless and meaningful. For those meaningful thoughts/problems, it's really up to the therapist as to what next steps you would take. I have limited experience in this topic area so that's all I can really say confidently.

Cognitive therapy is just extremely useful sorting out thoughts like "I feel worthless". Okay well why do you feel worthless... etc.. hopefully ending in being able to find reasons your life is meaningful and thus disproving your thought to yourself. Perhaps you had a child or met some great friends or have a lot of fun with certain hobbies, and so forth. But again, it's not infallible.

What about when you realize your main issues aren't baseless but deeply rooted psychological problems

That’s pretty much true of all serious issues. If they weren’t being reinforced from a deep place, you could discard them like a used wad of gum, no problem.

that can't ever truly be overcome,

That’s never the case. They may not be able to be erased, but they can certainly be overcome.

and sociatal issues with you that you have no control over?

Societal disapproval can be tough, but its not insurmountable. If you can learn to be happy with yourself, then the opinions of others will not seem as big of a problem as they do now.

The exception is if someone has the power to exert force against you or control you. In that case, you have to first escape from that situation—which can be very hard, but is doable and oh so worth it in the end.

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Others have overcome things like that. Find people who’ve faced something similar and talk to them.

The second issue might be helped by changing location, or looking in a field that is traditionally more tolerant of differences. Again, talk to people who’ve faced similar issues and find out what may have worked for them.

It’s not fair for you at all, and I wish I could change it for you. But these these things can and have been done, and finding out how it has for others is your first step.

Here's an awesome thing my therapist told me that solved this problem for me.

Give the negative voice a name in your head and any time you think something negative, tell that name to stop it.

When you associate a name with it, it's no longer you saying it, it's them. We don't typically have a defense mechanism for ourselves against ourselves but we do against external comments.

"But what if external comments are right?" That's the negative voice. You are doing the best you can with what you are dealing with. Every person has their own experience and story.

When you feel like you have to prove yourself, ask yourself: Who are you trying to prove yourself to and why?

Are you actually trying to prove yourself to them... Or to you? Why?

When you get rid of that nasty negative voice in your head and stop trying to prove yourself and instead focus on bettering yourself or doing what gives you drive (for me, it's game development!), You go from trying to keep what you have from leaving and go to appreciating what you have. When you can appreciate what you have, it's easy to find something to smile about.

Also, I have GAD and now take anxiety medicine (Lexapro) and it's been a world of difference because it keeps me out of my head and the constant worry is gone.

Another thing I do is clean slate every day and give compliments when I see things.

For compliments: See something that makes you say in your head: Cool!/nice!/pretty!/etc

Say it out loud to whoever it's related to. The more you do it, the more you realize it's super easy to give compliments and people love them. When they smile, you smile. It makes you both feel better.

As for clean slate every day, basically, I stopped caring what happened the day before and moved on. Did someone upset you yesterday? Maybe they had a really shitty day. Move on, it takes so much energy to hold onto that.

Did something bad happen yesterday to you? There's nothing you can do to undo what happened. Think about the next steps for how to address it instead of lingering on it.

The more you let go of the negative, the more you will see the positives in the day and life.

Sure, repeated incidents from the same person subconsciously get inbedded in you but that means you are judging them based on a one time thing, you are basing them on their actions over time and makes it easier to see people as people living a life and not as people out to get you.

Let me know if you want to talk or want any other advice!

instead of

THIS right here, this is what disrupts the flow state people need to get out of these feedback loops. Caterpillars don't struggle to become butterflies "instead", they literally turn to liquid and metamorphose. You are not trying to replace you with a "better" you. You are not the obstacle to your growth, you are growth.

Thanks for sharing and inspiring me to that insight just now.

No problem. :)

The smallest thing, giving that voice a name was huge for me.

Exactly. I'm sure it works to an extent for some situations, but it is definitely far from a cure-all. I would love to simply choose to be happy, but my brain prevents that. And I'm so thankful to live in an age where drugs to help with that exists.

Mental issues are very serious without a doubt and should be dealt with professionally. I feel like what OP's getting at in his example is that if you have the means to fix your issues and you don't, you're only gonna be more upset. If you're sad because you're fat and you know that you can hit the gym but for whatever reason you choose not to, you'll begin hating yourself.

The whole basis of cognitive behavioral therapy is to recognize thoughts and thought patterns that trigger anxiety/depression/etc and to consciously eliminate those thoughts so that you feel better. It teaches you to realize that your feelings are directly caused by your thoughts, negative and positive.

It takes practice and guidance, but it can help a lot.

As I said to someone else, I'm full aware that is a viable solution, but OPs statement is incredibly simplified and can be easily misconstrued as "Just fix those thoughts, if you dont it's your fault" which is an incredibly dangerous suggestion. The general idea is fine, but this is a list of simple things that can make your life easier, and for many people, fixing those though processes is very much not simple.

That is true, it's not an easy or simple process and I struggle with it myself.

I understand that. Looking back, it does seem like I simplified it too much. What I ultimately meant, is that you have the power to turn around aspects of yourself you don’t like and nothing is really going to change unless you do something about it.

If it means having to take little steps at a time by yourself or with the help of someone like a therapist, the point is, any progress is better than none. I greatly apologize if I came across as ignorant or potentially harmful.

I agree with you, but to an extent. Personally, when I'm feeling down or have some negative thoughts about myself I often tend to challenge my own beliefs by writing down why I think this way until I get to some sort of a root cause. Once I get there I write it down, bring it to my therapist, we talk about it, and then come up with an action plan on how to manage my thoughts when the bad ones pop up.

But you have to realize that mental illness is a combination of imbalance in regard to physical makeup of your brain, and the thoughts that result. You can literally change the makeup of your brain by adjusting the way you think. The “fake it til you make it” mantra is very real in regard to mental illness.

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for going on ten years and the one thing that never fails to help is literally halting my thought process when I’m spiraling and forcing my thoughts in the opposite direction. In an episode, I by no means want to do this, and in no way is it a cure, but it severely decreases the longer-lasting effects of an episode.

But that's oversymplifying the issue. Fake it till you make it works for some. For other it doesn't. Suggesting it simply down to the person experiencing those thoughts is harmful to those that struggle with it more. Its suggesting that they are the sole problem which isn't the case.

I’m not oversimplifying anything. It’s a coping mechanism that has provided a lot of help for me and I’m sharing that. It isn’t a cure, but it is something that makes the situation more manageable. Also, approaching a mental illness as if the person is controlled by it is also as harmful as assuming that you can just “think the illness away”. It also isn’t suggesting that the struggling person is a sole problem, because it’s clearly their brain that is.

Also, don’t be so quick to imply that I struggle any less. That’s just as harmful, to minimize the struggle of someone who suffers. I found a way to cope that doesn’t make me want to kill myself. I cannot afford treatment or medication, so I had to find a solution that helped or it was literally my life. Me sharing my methods of coping isn’t harmful, it’s constructive and helpful.

Think of your mental health and recurring emotions as a riverbed. The "bad" path is probably pretty deep and established, and it's definitely the way the water is going to go on its own. You're built that way and most of your life is established around the existing riverbed.

But if you can put a rock in the river, that current is going to change, just a little bit. The rock might be medicine, or a choice to do something positive instead of negative (shower instead of a nap; a walk instead of scrolling reddit; visiting a friend when you really feel like hibernation). It won't change the entire river immediately, but it will make it a little bit different. Lots of different things can be rocks, and you have to find your best ones, but anything you try is part of that.

Enough rocks, and the river will start to divert to another path. It's not easy and the rocks are heavy and the water will always want to follow that old deep channel, but keep piling rocks and it's going to keep being a little bit different. Whenever you can stand it, put in a rock. It can even be a little rock! Everything counts. Keep building it up.

It's not easy and it's not fair that it takes more effort to get your river going the right way. But if you want to feel better, you've gotta get that dam built.

That's exactly my point. It's not easy, it's not simple, and as such it doesn't belong on a thread about simple things to make life easier. Suggesting it is simple is harmful as for so many people it isn't. Over never suggested changing the way you think isn't the solution, I've only said that saying "just change the way you think" isn't enough for too many people.

It's all relative. Most of the things in the thread aren't genuinely simple to put into place, in the sense that they all take making fairly sizeable changes to your routine and that's never all that easy. Some people will find it harder than others. But relative to continuing to live with mental illness, anything that helps you cope is going to make your life easier. Personally, I find making those small choices to be relatively easy, compared to the monumental task of "getting better." It's very, very hard to get better, to build that whole entire dam of rocks that it's going to take to change my entire way of dealing with existence. It's relatively simple to make tiny choices every day that make each day a little better than it could've been.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a real thing, don't be an ass just because you read a comment that makes you think you can get away with it.

The very first step for a LOT of people suffering is to examine the thought processes and recognize the destructive patterns and behavior so you can intervene instead of submit. As somebody with a long family history of anxiety disorders, I can literally feel when my brain is gearing up for a panic attack, and I can defuse that feeling by altering my behaviors so I don't have to suffer through the panic attack itself. Many people have literally never even recognized that there's a train of thought going on in their head! I taught my brother when he was almost twenty years old that there's actually a voice in his head talking all the time and that's his mind and he's doing that.

Some people have the ideas in their head and do not realize that they are the ones who put them there in the first place, and that they can change the ideas with a little work and effort. Kinda like the difference between taking somebody who knows how to drive a car and use roads to go where they want, and showing them the entire industry that builds the roads, and giving them the keys to that instead of their car. They still drive where they want, but they know the road and how to get there, and they know the road won't have a dead end or a gaping chasm halfway there. They can recognize road signs ahead warning them that that road isn't suitable, and they can choose another path instead.

This is the third time version of this comment I've replied to. I'm not saying it's not a solution, I'm fully aware it is, but OPs comment suggested it is as simple as "just don't think those things" when for many people it isn't. They may need guidance and assistance in fixing the way they think, and suggesting "if you dont it's on you" is harmful. This is a thread for simple things that make life easier, and for many people, fixing that way of thinking is very much not simple, suggesting otherwise is harmful.

If multiple people are correcting you on the same subject you should probably recognize that for what it really is - you are incorrect in your assertions. You read a thing and responded to it and many people are calling you out on that.

It's easy enough to say "You choose how this works" but in reality that's not true.

This IS true, for a huge amount of people. You're making untrue statements and acting like other people are the idiots for making you respond. At the very base comprehension of the discussion, literally everybody that ever had any mental illness was personally responsible for seeking treatment to improve themselves! A depressed person that doesn't want to be depressed can change that situation, but it's not going to be a magical thing that happens spontaneously, they have to want to do it and they have to take specific action to do it. They have to decide to change. They may not be able to completely change themselves through simple willpower, but it doesn't change the fact that the very first thing that has to change is the mind itself. Nor does it change the fact that there are significant numbers of people out there that don't even realize that they can make that kind of change for themselves.

No I'm acting like despite having my opinions on that exact argument already available, multiple people are stating the same thing. I was suggesting you see the other replies before replying the exact same thing. And again, you've missed my point. The suggestion that "you choose how this works" is true is harmful because for many people it's not enough. They need help and guidance in changing that method of thinking, they can't 'just do it'. Rememebrr this isn't a thread about "What major life changes can you do to improve your life?" Its a thread about "what simple things can you do to improve your life?"

You even admitted yourself that it's not easy, and they might not be able to do it by simple willpower. For many people this is one of the toughest things to do, OPs comment never acknowledged that. Their comment suggested, that it solely the person experiencing those thoughts that is to blame, and while they do have to take a level of responsibility in changing their own way of thinking, suggesting it is solely down to them is harmful.

Are you just acting stupid today, or are you legitimately this stupid all the time?

"you choose how this works" IS the help and guidance that can start somebody down the path to self-repair. If you don't have any understanding of mental illness, depression, mania, bipolar disorder, etc you have no comprehension that something is wrong with you and something can be done to fix it. You literally need somebody else to tell you that there is a problem and you have options to address it, because without that people simply suffer in silence and potentially hurt themselves and others because of it.

It is a very simple thing to be able to recognize bad thoughts in one's own head, and discard them. Just like you don't listen to the voice that says "jump down there" while you're at a cliff edge, and you don't listen to the voice that says "slap that asshole" when your boss tells you something stupid, you don't have to listen to the self-destructive thoughts. But a lot of people aren't aware of that. They need somebody to actually tell them so and teach them how. You have to have second thoughts as well as first thoughts, and you have to be aware of your thoughts as thoughts to be able to examine them the way you need to do to be able to dissect the important thoughts from the unimportant.

OPs comment was that anybody can do this. Anybody CAN do this. The comment you replied to reinforced this concept, and you came in just being a fool and showing it off to all who would see. Now you're down to acting like OP was actively trying to hurt people by giving poor information - but the truth is, you were just wrong from the start, and you still are. Even when multiple people are trying to give you new information to allow you to help yourself, you choose to continue on your path of whatever you're trying to accomplish here. Did you know that being a belligerent ass on the internet is a choice you're making, and not something that you have to do? You can not do that, too, and that's a perfectly valid option for you. I'm telling you this because you may not even be aware of the concept that Reddit comments aren't always automatically an argument or an insult. Just like many people aren't aware that they control the voice in their head, until somebody tells them that they are.

Are you always this aggressive? Maybe you think its simple but others dont think it's simple. I never acted like OP was trying to cause damage to anyone, but I believe his comment could be misconstrued the wrong way and that can cause damage, intentional or not. Identifying that you have damaging thoughts is simple, I agree. Knowing how to change those damaging thoughts is very much not simple. If it were simple, we wouldn't ever need therapists because we could have people like you just post online "All you have to do is know that you have bad thoughts and then just not have them."

I also find it ironic that you're accusing me of being belligerent when youre the one who's been insulting me right from the get go. Ive not attacked or insulted anyone for their opinion, just suggested that these comments can be harmful. You're attacking me for believing suggesting that fixing mental health issues is simple is dangerous. I've never suggested that changing the way you think isn't the solution, just that achieving that isnt simple.

but I believe his comment could be misconstrued the wrong way and that can cause damage, intentional or not

You're about the only one that has managed to misconstrue the comment thus far. You might want to take a step back and look at the thought processes you're employing here - what are you actually attempting to accomplish? What goal are you serving with these replies? Who is benefiting when you ignore multiple other people all telling you the same thing?

In other words, do you have some kind of unaddressed mental illness here, and have you heard of cognitive behavioral therapy? Because you don't have to be like this. You choose how this works. If you want to change, you can. If you need help, it's there. But it is always entirely and totally up to you. You have to make that change. Everybody has to make their own change. And the very first step to doing that is knowing that you can.

Acting like it's a disservice for people to be told exactly this is disingenuous on your part at best, and I personally cannot see any motivation for you to have replied to anybody in this chain at all except to try and put somebody down online to make yourself feel better. As you mentioned, multiple people have all said the same thing in response to you - the concept that many people agreeing on a thing and one person telling them that they're wrong is textbook belligerence.

Oh you're right, I guess the 120+ upvotes and comments saying they agreed with me are because they disagreed with me!

I'm not putting anyone else down, and the others who replied to me, understood my POV when I explained it clearer.

You're the only person who has doubled down on the idea that I must be wrong, and you're the only one who has insulted me on multiple occasions for having a different opinion to you. So maybe ask yourself who is trying to out other people down.

r/wowthanksimcured

You cant fix the first one tho

Talking to people is a skill, just like throwing a football or playing the piano. It might not be easy to change, but it’s definitely possible.

Lol no, i can go take some piano lessons or go train my football throwing skills just fine, after some time and practice i will get better at it at a constant pace.

With people not only practicing is a nerve wracking extreme anxiety inducing experience, the practice is also the test and screwing up has consequences even if its your first time. With football i can screw up a lot to get good but not with people.

First off, there are a ton of resources out there to help you learn. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Second, I understand your fear about trying it out. It is scary to talk to someone new. But as far as “consequences” go, there are a few work arounds. Go to a new bar away from your neighborhood. Talk to new people. If it goes so bad you want to never come back, then never come back. Go to meetup events for hobbies outside your comfort zone. Practice talking to people and then never come back if you feel you completely screwed up.

I’m not saying it would be easy. It’s going to be tough and you will be stressed out. But it is a skill that can be improved if you approach it with a mindful practice mindset. And if you get good at it, it might not be so stressful.

This sounds like my worst nightmare, i think ill pass

Talking to people is a skill that you can learn cheat codes for.

The best one requires no effort: be a listener instead of a talker. People love that.

Otherwise, you can memorize useful phrases and have them “on hand” when you need them.

“That sounds interesting, how did you get started in that?”

(When someone is venting) “That sounds like it would be really frustrating/painful/frightening.”

Look up things on “what to say when x,” then practice with someone you know pretending to be a stranger, or in the mirror or something.

It can be done more easily than you think.

How does one throw out said garbage from their head tho?

It's like drawing an owl.

First you draw the circle.. then you draw the owl.

Lol thats your answer?? Here's something simple for you guys, just become an enlightened being!

Straight outta /r/thanksimcured lmao

I'll just grow some money in my garden, that will throw out my garbage!

You make it sound simple than it actually is. You can't simply throw away the said garbage. You'd have to deal with it somehow and reframe it as something good. Bad thoughts don't go away.

College makes me unhappy, i love my career but the concept of college makes me miserable. Yet if i quit i cant get a degree so im kinda stuck.

Situational depression

Currently working on this. My low self esteem is now medium, and I’m looking forward to continuing the trajectory!

understand what makes you unhappy and try to change it.

Having to work, other people in general, commuting, politicians, people getting promotions and bonuses who clearly don't deserve it, getting fat in days yet it takes months to lose it.

All stuff you can't control really.

You need to throw out all the garbage from your head

Seeing as my head is currently filled to the brim with stuff for my medschool exams (next 3 days) thats mostly garbage because its not relevant for my chosen speciality...I'll refrain from doing that at least for a couple of days.

Easier said than done when each day I exist on this wretched planet only shows more and more that reckless ignorance and egoism is the one thing that seems to bring people ahead in life.

...I guess I'll go look at some kitten gifs.

Figure out what matters to you, and let the rest go.

Name all your friends and family, right now. Write it down. Make a list. That's the people you give a fuck about. No one else. That girl in the laundry mat gave you a funny look? Doesn't matter, not on the list. Coworker thinks you're an asshole? Doesn't matter, not on the list.

Do the same thing with activities. What do you care about? What do you want to be good at? Make a list.

No good at painting? Is it on the list? Nope, good, fuck it then. Friends pick on you for sucking at a video game you don't even give a shit about? Play worse, just to piss them off for a while. Doesn't matter that you suck, if it's not on the list.

You need two lists, and whenever anyone makes you feel shitty, check them to make sure you care.

Source

What part of SIMPLE THING you don't understand?

throw out all your garbage in your house too, I just cleaned my desk off and it made me feel great

And realize -- this includes people! If there are toxic people in your life that contribute to your overall unhappiness, try to start distancing yourself from them. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost, which means not sacrificing your own mental health for the sake of a "friendship". This was a hard lesson to learn, but it has made a world of difference for me.

Best way to do this is to start recording the garbage from your head (journal/diary) which will then let you identify positive/negative patterns and then know most effective way to encourage/discourage them

On that note, throw out all the garbage from your home too. Cluttered living spaces lead to cluttered minds.

This is a hard one, especially with mental illness but me and my therapist figured out a phrase that's been working pretty good for me. Ask yourself "is this useful?" ok you had the negative thought, is it useful? Probably not. Just thinking that I've been able to change my perspective a little and little by little those negative thoughts are having less power.

This! So much this!

It’s a process that I’m still going through and probably will be forever. But I realise now how much agency I had over that unhappiness. And it’s an active choice every minute of every day to not slip back there.

It doesn’t mean I’m a happy robot 247, I have my good times and bad but overwhelmingly I’m happier and more confident. I now have faith that I can cope (or have the ability to learn to cope) with the things that life throws at me. That most things in life are a process rather than a destination and just because I’m not there yet it doesn’t mean I won’t be in the future. Mostly it’s knowing that I shouldn’t normalise or be comfortable with that drowning numbness that I had before.

When I relapsed into a low point recently, I realised that I use to feel that bad all the time and I haven’t in a long while. It weirdly helped lift me out of that bad place because I realised that I should be proud of all the work I’ve done to not be that unhappy person anymore.

"simple" even determined resourceful people will spend their entire life trying to do that. Going to the moon is most likely more achievable for most people in their life time. Doesn't mean you should not try. Just don't think it is simple or even 100% achievable

How exactly do you throw your ex away thought? Especially when she keeps messaging you how she "want's to be friends"?

Time to block her on everything.

Doesn't help, she lives two floors above me

"Sometimes you have to chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and move on."

I respectfully disagree with this advice. I’m convinced that life is not about happiness. The longer you devote your life to chasing that, the longer you will consistently be disappointed, and ironically, unhappy.

Shit now all I know is fine dining...

"Find your favorite illusion, and destroy it."

Is one of my life mottos.

What if it's your significant other with whom you have a son with that makes you unhappy? I mean I love her but I just feel so constrained by her. But then there is our son whom I want to give a better parenting experience than my parents gave me. Life fucking sucks yo. It doesn't help shes not financially solvent at the moment despite having a pretty decent job so she relies on me for financial support. But this is why I'm struggling because I'm the type of person that will sacrifice for others.

Jesus fuck this thread is depressing. But hey at least its sunny out.

Well then, get your shit together. Get it all together. And put it in a backpack. All your shit. So it’s together.

And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it… Or put it in a shit museum, I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.

Get your shit together!

Or burn the garbage with drugs

This thread is about simple things to do. Don't underestimate the difficulty of what you've proposed.

People make me unhappy and really pissed off but I can’t get rid of them

Piggy backing in this, but get rid of all the garbage in your home too.

Get all that clutter and junk out. Donate all those clothes you don't wear anymore. You'll notice a difference but just in how clean your home looks, but it gives a satisfying feeling once you're finished.

presuming you have garbage... perhaps an "if" fits there

I've recently stopped speaking in a 'bojack stupid piece of shit' voice to myself and replaced it with a more determined voice. It works.

Throwing all in your room helps a lot too.

this is the stupidest thing I've read in the whole thread so far. Oh wow so all it takes is taking garbage outta my head and understand what makes me unhappy? Thanks I'm gonna grab a cig and go fix my whole fucking life.

r/wowthanksimcured

I am unhappy with my self cause I procrastinate and I am unhappy that I can’t change it, and I can’t change my unhappiness cause of that.

SO WHAT NOW? Checkmate.

Yeah. Thats a real walk in the park. Such a casual thing to do. Lemme get right on that.

Some people simply do not have enough good things to balance or negate the bad. Its not for lack of trying, the hands they are dealt each round just suck. And sure, there are a handful who have the natural ability to persevere, but the majority are not able to walk away from negative things.

Think of it like this. You're always getting poked. On your left, good things poking you. Their pokes feel good. On your right, are bad pokes. If you have soneone limp wristed good pokes, and some angry, agressive bad ones in quadruple the number, how can you possibly focus on the good ones?

This bullshit og "Just Be Happy" needs to stop. It's just that; pure bullshit. Its a myth. A fantasy. A lucid excuse to walk around with your head in the clouds using "get what you give" as a rally cry.

From someone who is struggling to find even a single good poke, happiness is something some of us just simply do not have in our lives.

Save your money

I was paying off a loan $100 a month, and once I finished paying it I just got that same amount to go straight to savings now

You should up that total depending on your income. 15 to 20 percent is best

I also have a 401k but I just wanted something I wouldn't feel bad spending if I need

🤔

Those penalties

I think you misunderstood, I have a 401k for long term savings that I don't mess with and also have this savings account that has no penalties

Yes, I see now

What penalties?

10% early withdrawal penalty

The point is not to withdrawal early.

​

That's what she said.

15-20% of what remains after rent and stuff, I assume?

15-20% of your total income. Check out r/personalfinance

That sub is very helpful, but it can't really help someone who is already saving everything they can and don't have 15-20% left over, which is the reality for a lot of people.

That sub can also come off as elitist at times

I don’t disagree - just reaffirming what the goal savings target is.

Why stop at 20%? Anything that isn't going into bills should be put straight into your retirement account.

Hmmm. I really hope that's sarcasm, but having browsed r/personalfinance once or twice, I can't be sure.

It was, but that seems to be the general in that subreddit, if you're not saving most of your pay check for your retirement you're not doing it right.

"if you eat instant noodles for the next 40 years, and don't have a holiday or weekend away more than once a decade, you'll be finacially secure by the age of 70. You can look back on a wasted life from the comfort of your private suite at the retirement home, while wearing diamond studded diapers".

Set a goal for a safety margin emergency fund. Say $3000. Reach that goal, set that money aside and forget it exists.

Now roll that payment in to another debt. Once that is paid off, set a new goal. Say $5000. Put both of those payments in to that. Reach that goal.
Do it again. And again. Each subsiquent debt is paid off faster, and the savings grows even faster. Soon you have a generous emergency fund that can see you through 3 to 6 months all on its own, and very little debt.

Once you reach your comfort level (usually house, or house and car payment) you save for luxuries. And you get those luxuries fast and without new debt. Maintaining this level is extremely freeing, and stress free.

Oh boy, what a world that would be. *cries in student loans

If you can afford putting more towards it that would be better. But that's a solid plan.

If I didn't have student loans to pay each month I'd have an extra 600+ to put into savings.

Fuck you student loans.

woof that is a shit ton

Agreed, but if I liked it enough to keep going, I'd gladly invest in my own gear and a membership. But it's getting to that point first that I have to do.

I'd like to be all "ha Americans and their student loans", but while it took care of itself and wasn't a problem, I once let myself get into a similar situation with a credit card. Then I binge cleared it and now have a much lower limit with automatic payment just after I get paid. So much easier. If I need to spend more than the limit on the card (say, flights), I put the extra money on it a day in advance.

Yeah I got enough debt to last me until I'm a middle aged adult. Legit won't get my loans paid off for the next 20 years unless I come into money or somehow can manage to live on nothing for 6 years.

That's more than a car payment lol. Almost as much as my rent...

Yeah but it is 700/ year vs 70 per month, so you save 140 ish per year on just the membership. So I guess that's a thing..

my man - thats the way to do it

My plan when my credit card is paid off

Congrats on paying it off!

It's truly amazing, I know.

It took me way too long to pay off a loan and I really regret not prioritizing it. I ended up spending YEARS paying off a $5,000 loan and it never really went down ever. When I dipped into my savings and finally adulted a substantial weight was lifted off my shoulders. Feels good man.

Did something similar with parking. My company doesn't cover it, and it cost me $20 per day in downtown LA. Now that I no longer work there, I put that $20 per day into a savings account. :)

Invest your money

I'm going off the assumption that many people don't know how. So while it's easier to just save it, it is much wiser to invest it.

Usually when people say to invest their money the response is met with many people complaining about not being able to afford such and such. So whenever this question gets asked (damn near bi-monthly) I just say to save it. Figuring that when people start to see a nest egg grow they'll hopefully look into how to invest it and have their money make them money.

What resources can I read to learn about investing money? I’m saving for something and am at 8k but if this money can make me more money then I think that’s wiser.

If you are looking to buy something within the next few years, just open a high-yield savings account like Ally which grows at 2.2%

/r/personalfinance has a FAQ that may be of some help. But it depends what you're saving for with that money

Open a Vanguard IRA and put it in a Target retirement fund. Contribute every month.

Cool if you explain a Vanguard IRA like I’m 5? I’m good at saving but I’m honestly not knowledgeable about investing

I actually have about a 5 year olds understand of investing so I think I can help.

Vanguard is a company/website for investing. They have the lowest fees available & are client owned. An IRA is a low tax way of saving for investment. You can put your money away until retirement age but you have to pay taxes if you take it out early.

Vanguard promotes buying low cost ETFs. Which is like buying lots of stocks (like 500) rolled into one stock. It means your investment is at less risk because it follows the market rather than going up & down with one individual company.

The nice thing about ETF's is they are taxed more leniently than mutual funds. So, that money is always liquid. Whereas there is a penalty for pulling out of a mutual fund early. Same with bonds and shtuff.

I didn't know much of anything when I went to my bank's financial advisor and got shafted with a ton of unnecessary fee's and less than optimal investments (bank's push specific investments that help them without necessarily showing all options). When I finally met someone who knew a thing or two he straightened out my portfolio and it profits a couple percent more with a few percent less in fees. Plus, it's completely liquid so I can access it at no extra cost if I ever need to.

That’s awesome. I’m still trying to figure out my investment plan. My current advisor is folowing a very high risk plan and he never listens to my concerns. Doing research sucks because i don’t understand so much of the language

If your adviser isn't listening to you, you need to find a new adviser.

I know, I'm working on it

Why do you have an advisor? I hope you aren't paying him.

The poster above explained Vanguard IRAs really well. Its best not to try and time the market and follow it to closely. You should just set it and forget till your older.

Because I didn't know about investing when I got money. Yes I do pay him. The tone of your comment appears judge-y and I'm feeling defensive. Having money to invest does not instantly make you understand how to invest. I'm trying to find another solution but I don't want to rush in after last time.

Read "Millionaire Teacher" it's written by a math teacher who recognized wealth management isn't taught much (or at all) in schools, the book aims to fill that gap in an accessible way. Ie. Chapter 1 is about compound interest.

Edit: It's been a while since i read it and I've read other similar books. If my memory recalls this goes into detail regarding Canadian wealth management programs, but there are similar versions if you're not from Canada and a lot of the lessons apply regardless of location.

r/investing is a good start.

Mr Money Mustache

This, but only after building an emergency fund

I am sorry to see this so far down the list. Living below ones means is such a stress releaver. I love that I no longer have to worry about small things bankrupting me.

Found the guy from the ING Direct commercials.

Ha, I wish...dudes loaded. I just grew up on the poorer side and have been doing whatever I can to never go back.

To improve on this one for beginners-- create a budget.

Saving is only one part of a larger picture which encompasses income, debts, student loans, transportation, housing, bills, food, retirement, insurance, etc.

Take a step back and look at your entire financial picture, even if it is ugly as hell and is painful to look at. A budget is how you will slowly take control!

r/ynab r/personalfinance r/frugal

YNAB changed my financial life.

~~Save~~ Manage your money

FIFY

Rap game god it all wrong...

I know a few people who constantly complain about not having money. "Hey, wanna go grab a bite?" " Nah, I need to save money." Then they go and blow money on needless things like fake tans or expensive movies, going on vacations to Vegas. All while turning down really good paying jobs. Because... Reasons? It's beneath them? I dunno. It's so obnoxiously frustrating. However, the most frustrating part is their credit debt. How do people think it's ok to continually open and max out credit cards while having seemingly endless school debt? "But I live an expensive lifestyle" well, you're 'expensive lifestyle' is going to put you on the street if you're spending more than you're earning, dumb dumb.

Not my pig, not my farm. Just leave me out of it please.

You can't be left out of it. When they cant handle paying those debts they'll say it's because they don't make enough. Then, when they dont have the sense or skills to get better paying jobs, theyll demand the national wage is risen. Thereby devaluing you instead of properly valuing themselves.

you can save TOO much money though, find a balance, make sure you're doing things you want to do

For sure. It alleiviates so much stress and you also have the added benefit of having less shit you won't need weighing you down.

Can't spend money when you're dead, spend within reason and have fun.

*Invest your money

No. Guillotine the rich and abolish capitalism before it abolishes you.

Fuck that(If your young, 20s-mid 30s), Spend that shit, have fun. You'll have your whole lives to make money.

Wrong, when you're young 20's-mid 30's it's the best time to start saving. If you start investing in an IRA in your 20's and are able to max it out, you'll retire a millionaire. You can have fun without being irresponsible about your money.

Right, retiring at the ripe age of 65 with a million dollars, or being young with $10k to go explore the world with.

I'm not saying blow it all, but dont be a penny pinching loser. Have some fucking fun.

You can do both m8

Agreed, cant lack disciprine tho, I'd rather have fun than save. I'm sure older me would agree.

Every dollar you spend today is 4 fewer dollars that older you gets to spend. If you're already old and don't expect to live much longer, then that makes sense. If you're currently young, then it doesn't make sense to blow all your money, because if you saved and invested it, you could spend way more money when you're ~40 and still more than capable of enjoying yourself

The body is deteriorating at 40s, while your young and have your health, you can make mistakes and learn.

I get save and invest is the safe thing to do. I've invested already, but fuck that if I'm going to have boring 20s because I gotta save for older me.

Getting up earlier than needed before work, so one has about an hour of “Me” time to do whatever you wanna do before the rest of the world wakes up.

[deleted]

I constantly use that extra hour for sleep - I just trade it for an extra hour awake in the evening!

This is the real simple thing. I want to go to sleep earlier and then suddenly it's about the same time I went to sleep last night. Dammit me.

Every single night, I tell myself to go to bed earlier, I even tell my SO "We should go to bed earlier tonight". I've been forced to get up earlier because my puppy has to go outside and after I walk him, I'm awake so I might as well stay up. I figured that would be enough to get me in bed by 11. Nope, still doesn't work.

These are the douchy, laugh out loud comments I come here for

To each their own. It’s just what worked for me. Everyone is different.

Lol

I too, laughed out loud.

Got to bed earlier, and you will wake up naturally. It's not about the waking up time, it's all about the going to sleep time.

So, instead of 8hrs of sleep I'll get 12hrs, less evening, and be late for work!

People have different sleep cycles. Personally, it doesn't matter how early I go to sleep; I will always naturally wake up around 10am.

This is so true. Last night, after getting home from work and watching TV on the couch for literally 5 hours, I had a second wind rush of energy. Not a rush, but just a "I feel good and active and energetic!" type of feeling.

But... It was 12:30am at that point. Gym is closed, can't go for a hike, don't really want to walk or bike around town at this hour...

So I did a bunch of stretches, pushups, and deadlifted the couch for about an hour. Let myself wind back down and fell asleep tired but not exhausted at about 3am.

...Then my alarm woke me up at 8 and I'm fucking dead. Last night when I was feeling good I told myself I'd bike to work today. Now I can hardly stand up in the shower.

you will wake up naturally.

Hahaha no I won't.

I mean, you literally can't sleep 24 hours a day, for 85 years straight. If nothing else, you will die of hunger and thirst. I know that you might answer jokingly, but you have to get up at some point in the day. Even if you need 12 hours of sleep, if you go to bed at 5pm, hypothetically, you will have to get up at 5 am. But I bet anything that you go to bed at 1am or 2am every night.

I didn't mean that as a joke, I meant that even if I go to sleep earlier, I'll still naturally wake up around 11am instead of at 8 like I need to to get to work on time.

It doesn't matter how many hours of sleep I get - if I need to wake up before 10 or 11, I'll be horribly sleepy.

I've tried that many times before. "I'll go to bed now so I'll wake up earlier and get stuff done!" Then I wake up at 11:30am and wonder how the fuck I slept for 13 hours.

So, if you go to bed at 8:30 am, you will get up at 10am the next day, is that what you are telling me? You will sleep for 26 hour straight?

He would probably just wake up an hour later. Happens to me all the time.

Okay you know damn well that's not what I'm implying.

What I am saying is there has to be some point that you go to bed and sleep then cannot sleep longer. Whatever that time period is.

The reality is that people try to go to sleep early one time, and when it doesn't work that one time, they conclude it doesn't work for them. But a habit like this, like any other habit, takes 6 weeks for it to sink in.

You can't just go off of one time or even a week's worth of trying. You have to be disciplined. If you go to sleep one night at 8pm, the next night at 2am, the next night at 11pm, the next night at 9pm, the next night at 3am, the whole thing just doesn't work that way.

Yeah I know it's a habit you have to build up. I know that because I have lived in a 9-5 society for my entire life, as I assume you do as well and pretty much everyone commenting in here.

During middle and high school my mom would tell me to suck it up and get used to it. For years. Then I took early classes in college and could never stay awake during class, for years. Then I got some morning jobs and could barely wake up and make it on time, for years.

Now I have a job where I work in the evenings until 1 or 2am. I go to sleep around 3ish and naturally wake up at 11am or 12pm. I feel normal.

Well, I say this because I've been where you are.

I've stayed up until 2am a lot, and cannot get up until 11 am, because need the sleep.

But, I started going to bed at 9am, I popped out of bed at 4:30 - 5 am, cannot get back to sleep, because that is it, that's all I could sleep, so I woke up very naturally, very naturally, and rested up.

But, I had to go to sleep at 9pm.

The thing is, you just don't want to go to bed that early. That's all there is to it. You would for sure feel normal if you went to bed every night at 9pm and woke up at 5pm. Going to sleep at 2am and waking up at 11 am is 9 hours, but I bet a lot of times, you don't even get to sleep until 3 am, I'd bet.

What part of "I tried living that way for years" did you not get though?

My brain just isn't wired to sleep at wake up at certain times.

The part where you didn't say what kind of actual sleep schedule you kept. But if you don't want to, you don't want to. There's no reason to justify it with "your brain isn't wired that way." Just say you don't want to. Or, say anything you want, it's a free world. Sort of.

why? Why would one go to bed earlier just to get up earlier in the morning? Mornings are awful, I don't care if I have 1 hour or 3 to get ready, mornings suck. Iv always suspected there is something wrong with morning people. No one should enjoy being awake early.

I hate waking up early, but I found that I feel a lot better when I have time to get ready slowly. Have some breakfast, catch up with news or whatever, get to work a few minutes early so I can make some coffee and poop, all at a leisurely pace. By the time I actually start working I'm pretty awake.

i was like you, but then i started going to bed at 9 and waking up at 5. made me way more productive because i had to have everything done before 7:30 so that i would have free time after. i leave at 8:00 am, and having an extra 15-30 minutes to eat allows me to be fully awake and ready before i leave. i also have a whole hour where i can do whatever i want (or as backup time incase something goes wrong lmao)

once you do it for about a week the morning stops sucking. (at least in my case)

edit: also it’s really nice to not be rushed by anything

I think people also just do this naturally as they age. Our circadian rhythms shift as we age. It's quite common to start waking up earlier as you move further into adulthood.

i’m 14 tho lol

I don't believe you, but if true, you are a total anomaly.

The fact that this got more upvotes than the comment responded to says something.

This is something I've been trying to get into. I tend to wake up at the exact time that leaves me with enough time to get ready and get to work

I'm the same. So i leave my me time to the end of the day when everyone is in bed.

That's usually what I do. I'll stay up late so I can have that time. My system is pretty backwards lol

an hour of “Me” time to do whatever you wanna do before the rest of the world wakes up.

Me wants to sleep, like every other sane person at that ungodly hour.

Second this. Made a commitment to doing this 20 years ago and I firmly believe it has had a significantly positive effect on my life.

The older I (36F) get, the less of an option this is, and now just happens on its own. I haven't slept past 7am in ages. This morning I was up at 5:30, alarm set for 6am. Oh, and yesterday was also 5:30 with no alarm set on a SUNDAY!!

Yes, yes, yes. Work as the first real thing in a day really grinds me down. Having an hour for other stuff, even if it's just a cup of coffee and some news, in the morning makes me far less stressed overall.

Assuming I'm also getting enough sleep, that is.

Long walk with the dog and a full breakfast before work is amazing. I’m usually up 2.5hrs before I have to leave which totally fits my stoner lifestyle. I can slowly go about my day before work.

Yeah I started doing this and honestly it's amazing. I feel less tired when I get to work even though I wake up earlier.

sipping coffee on the balcony in the morning before work with a cigarette and reddit/YouTube on my tablet have done a lot for my mental state the past few months

Hate to break it to you, but coffee and cigarettes are going to cause you anxiety. They also will relieve your anxiety and get you high when you consume them, but make no mistake that a lot of the anxiety that they are relieving is being caused by your consumption of them. They are chemically addictive substances that create a dependency loop. I understand how enjoyable they are, but they are going to make your life worse. You should stop consuming them.

Lol coffee is fine.

That would depend on what you mean by "fine." Will it kill you? No, but it does have undesirable impacts on sleep, energy, and mood.

I love that. I also love that at the end of the day. I wish I had time for both.

I have always had a problem with getting up in the morning. Sleepy-Me does not have my best interests in mind, only wants one thing, and for some reason is given responsibility of the body first thing in the morning. So what I did was download a simple strategy game and tell myself that I'm only going to play one round, which usually takes about 10-15 minutes. This gives me just enough time to turn on the higher brain functions and listen to arguments involving more complexity than "warm and soft". Its been working well for about 2 weeks now, even on the weekend!

People say I get up way too early when I'm on earlys but I start to feel really sick if I don't get any breakfast in. I have to eat a first breakfast and then a second one a couple hours later at work.

Plus I am more organized and feel properly ready for the day.

Recently been waking up about 1.5 hours before i have to leave. Use a half hour to get ready but then sit down and play video games or reddit until I leave. Its nice to hear birds chirp once in awhile

I started doing this six months ago. Got in trouble at work for being late too often. I've never ever been a morning person. Ever! I started getting up at the same time as my wife. She helped me on days I just couldn't do it. I could get up at 7 and be at work by 7:30 am before. But I've slowly moved that back until I get up at 5 am.

I sit with my dog sleeping in my lap checking social media, then playing CoD. At 6, I take my pills and eat something. I never used to eat breakfast. Then play CoD until about 6:50. Work 7:30 am to 4:30 pm every weekday instead of the 9:00 to 6:00. I can't believe I've become a morning person. I even get up at 5 on the weekends.

I work at 7am every weekday and wake up at 5am. Starting your day with work is a surefire way to have a bad day

I get up about an hour and a half earlier than the time I need to leave for work. I only take about 30mins to get ready so the other hour I can spend reading, chilling, making my lunch fresh. It's nice to have a bit of quiet time in the mornings before heading off for the day.

These are supped to be easy, ya know.

I have to be at work at 7am. I try to wake up at 530, but that shit sucks.

I do notice on days where I wake up before 6am I do feel much better throughout the day.

My work day currently starts late enough for me to easily be able to wake up early enough that I don't need to worry about doing things fast.

Hour of masturbating seems a lot

i did this today and instead of frantically running for the bus, i took time to eat breakfast, watch Will & Grace and just relax before the rest of the world woke up. very nice experience.

I do this when I work in the morning. Having time alone with my coffee and thoughts is very nice.

I wake up at 5:30 EST unless I need to earlier no matter where I am or when I have to be awake. I never need alarms and I never sleep in. I feel well-rested every night. It's amazing.

how'm I gonna get intoxicated and then go to work.... you mean AFTER right? ;D

aka go to bed an hour earlier aka no

Nope. Asleep by 10pm. Up at 0430.

I used to be the guy that would hit snooze until the last minute to piss/shit/shower/shave and out the door to be at work right on time.

Now, I promptly will roll outta bed at 0430, go downstairs, have a cup of coffee, and either read or watch the LOCAL News for about an hour or even make breakfast while listening to music. Then I’ll start to get ready for work from there.

Mind you, Im 25, and have only been forcing myself to do this for almost a year now, and it has drastically improved my day. Im in a better mood, and have more energy to do things. That’s just me.

Also, everything takes time to adjust. I just like to: “Earn the sunrise” so to speak.

Why not just fall asleep at 11 p.m, like most people our age?

I feel like that would be too late, and usually I have accomplished all I’ve wanted to do for the day by then. If I haven’t, well, then there is always tomorrow.

Is that all you do every day? Accomplish things? Sorry, that sounds too pointed, I don't mean to be rude or accusing, but for me personally when I'm done "accomplishing" for the day I kinda want to just not accomplish for a few hours. Like watch TV or play video games or browse the internet. I feel like if all I did was accomplish accomplish accomplish and go to sleep after, I wouldn't have a life.

How do you feel?

Well, watching TV and playing Division 2 or Red Dead Redemption is accomplishing something. Everything one does is accomplishing something. Its kind of a motivational thing for me. Ive had sleep issues, and depression. Ive seen a Doctor, and did some self reflection. It all comes down to my outlook on things. So, “accomplishing”, No matter what, to me, is that Im getting shit done, and making more time for myself.

Like “I knocked out meal prep” or “Relaxed on the couch and watched Cheers” or something along those lines. If Im breathing and doing things I want to do, and am not forced to do, then I can say I am still Alive and living the life I want to live.

Sorry if this is winded.

Interesting approach, thanks for sharing

How do you "accomplish" Division 2?

I struggle with this so bad lol, I try to get the maximum amount of time in bed that I can before I have to kick myself out

I assume you do not have young kid(s) as this results in me just having a kid asking me "Why?" 100x in a row. A few years back though I started waking 1h before I had to start getting ready(so 2h before work) and it made my work day far more productive as I had already "Goofed off"

Correct, no kids yet, and Im sure my world would be 1,000 times different. Time will tell.

This, but actually staying an hour late at night. Mornings are the worst.

Doing this makes me feel so much more productive and motivated throughout the whole day. I love it.

I have weeks where I can wake up at 6am and avoid hitting snooze on my alarm and get ready and make breakfast and feel great. Then I have weeks where I sleep through 5 alarms and hit snooze every ten minutes just to finally roll out of bed feeling more tired than before. I find that it helps to sleep with the blinds open on my windows so I wake up with natural light.

Another solution that seems to be effective is to get a dog or cat. They will make sure you are up at 6am every day whether you like it or not :)

20 minutes of chilling time in the morning is a lot more satisfying than 20 extra minutes of sleep.

This has honestly changed my whole day. It's amazing! I feel like I'm choosing to go to work now and not in a rush and having to. The day just seems different it's fantastic! Also watching the sunrise and it become bright just makes you feel incredible and more up for anything. Your energy is also higher when you go to work because you've been up for a while too. Such great advice few will ever take on or even try, such a shame.

I will say tho you need to go to bed and sleep a little earlier than I think most would to get that hour in and that's honestly the hard part for most. It was for me initially. Once you overcome it though its worth the effort and you sleep better and there are just more knock on effects.

Yes! I love being able to laze away the morning only to still have a morning once I get going.

I do this. Can make the difference between a shit day and a "I want a fucking asteroid to end all fucking life on this miserable fucking planet" day.

Yea im Not going to get up at 4 am thanks...

Getting up earlier than needed b

Have tried that for years. but most days i wake up not wanting to be awake at all and I'm not even tired, so it's easier that it sounds.

Exercise. It really helps if you're dedicated and consistent with it

Edit: thanks for my first silver, stranger!

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I tell myself I am going to go and use the massage table. Then I get there and figure I should probably just work out. Why is it so hard to actually get to the gym even when you enjoy working out?

I wonder if it's some kind of "brainwashing" that was done to us by education and parents.

I can't quite pinpoint the reason but the cognitive dissonance in these cases (if it feels good why don't i want to do it) has to be cause of some crappy conditioning from when we were kids.

Out of the countless times i have worked out in my life there's only maybe a 0.1% that i really regretted it, the rest felt pretty great.

So cant help but wonder why as well.

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Millions of years of evolution designed us to conserve energy for when we really need it. Trying to short-circuit this and exercise even when we know it's not absolutely necessary for survival requires overcoming the natural aversion to save our energy and preference for instant gratification.

You're probably right on both accounts. Instant gratification especially seems to mess up our reward systems.

I've been trying to hijack that reflex

I have my sports bag always ready by the door, and whenever I "feel like not going to the gym" I just get up, grab the bag and go.

If it works in the end, my lazy reflex might transfer to wanting to go to the gym. If it doesn't, well, I've been to the gym 😂

Mmmm, I don't know about this. There's so many benefits to exercise built into our biology that I don't think it's 'working around or overcoming' our evolution rather than working perfectly into it, and our modern society has created the instant gratification preference and wanting to save energy, ie be lazy. Millions of years of evolution designed us to be able to put out sudden bursts of energy, not to purely conserve energy as often as possible.

Exercise was so ingrained into the daily lives of our ancestors that there was no need to set aside a time to consciously make yourself exercise for no other reason than fitness. If you look at all modern hunter gatherers you will notice that they're all sleek, fit and healthy with athletic body types. Exactly because of the need for the sudden bursts of energy is the reason why ancient hominids would need to conserve energy - if you have to exercise on a regular basis to escape predators, chase down food, fight off rivals and seek out new food sources then wasting your finite daily energy by running around for the sake of it would be really unwise. Exercise has so many benefits and works perfectly into our evolution because for our ancestors there was no equivalent to the sedentary lifestyle - being alive meant being physically fit. It's probably more accurate to say being sedentary has a huge list of drawbacks rather than exercise provides a bunch of benefits, since our "default" state would be to be constantly physically fit.

Fair enough. Sounds like two sides of the same coin, but I see what you are saying. It is probably more accurate to phrase it in terms of being sedentary. I didn't get that you didn't meant 'exercise' as any form, but exercise for the sake of exercise.

it probably has something to do with equating "working out" to "work".

I've started calling workout time "getting sexy." Don't feel like getting off my ass to run? It's time to get sexy. Just want to drive home after work instead of lift at the gym? Gotta get sexy though. Bonus points if you say "Sex-ay!"

You're amazing. and probably very sexy. I like it

I love this. Gonna have to start using it.

Good catch!

This also makes me think that people may be putting themselves through a work out that is not adjusted to their current level (be it fatigue, how long they work out, trying to do too much etc)

Uh, no. As a non native English speaker, I don't have this assimilation in my head, but it's still difficult as crap to workout.

To be fair, if you're doing it right, it is hard work.

And not finding the right work out for them. That's usually my struggle - if you hate the exercises you're doing, you're going to hate the gym.

I haven't found something I like yet. Thinking of trying kickboxing after I recover from my surgery this Friday though.

It's right in the name!

suprisedhandonchin.gif

There’s a bit of research on how our minds and bodies protect homeostasis or “the current state of things” and because starting to work out is a literal change to the system, we are wired to resist it as a habit. Similar with trying to build other habits. So coupling the new habit with something we are already motivated to do - like listen to a favorite podcast - can help get over the hump. As can just going to the gym and not even working out. Just get over the hump of getting to the gym. Anything to change how our minds are wired against starting new habits. This is also why baby steps are so much more sustainable that overhauling our lives all at once!

Baby steps is such a hard pill to swallow but if you want to succeed at anything, it's the most practical way to do it.

No it has nothing to do with that.

It’s simply inertia. It’s much easier to stay home and not go to the gym. People forsake things they know will be fun/good for them all the time in favour of taking the easy path. This applies to all domains of life.

The people who are most happy and successful are the ones who fight through the voice in their brain telling them to be lazy and comfortable and do what they know is best on a daily basis

Possibly school. I remember phys Ed being pretty chill and being good at it in elementary. By high school, the gym teachers actually started pushing hard and competition got ridiculous.

Running lines, or taking laps for doing something wrong, to push ups as punishment. It instills a fuck this attitude to working out.

The worst is when everyone does push ups cause some kid didn't want to wear his shorts, so the group does the punishment until he changes and is pissed at this kid for something they otherwise wouldn't give a fuck about.

What kind of Full Metal Jacket bullshit is that?

What in the...

Man, this really is what they did to us in the army, lol.

We'd always do pushups waiting for people.

Or stand the guy up that did something wrong and made him watch us do push ups for a looong time. Supposedly making him feel bad (as if anyone would feel bad for not doing something tiring)

​

Your FMJ comment isn't at all far from the truth.

Pretty much everyone I grew up with myself included would much rather run or do push-ups themselves rather than watching others do it especially if it was their fault

Well in the army's case it wasn't really anyone's fault. Just the guys with higher rank want to find a reason to make you suffer. :P

This makes a lot of sense, to me. In Elementary School, gym class was fun. We'd get to play some awesome sports, it was okay if you sucked at it, the important part is you tried.

By Junior High and High School, the mentality changed, and you'd get the bullies that mocked you for not being good, the gym teacher that was bitter about not becoming a pro football player expecting everyone to be athletes, and workouts used as punishments. I'm no psychologist, so I can't say for sure that's why I have such a negative mindset about the gym (despite enjoying weight training), but that would make some sense.

That, and I think a lot of people focus on things they hate about the gym. I hate the treadmill, but I always thought that was an essential part of my workout. Then I signed up for the gym when my job offered a wellness plan, and got a personal trainer for a bit. He completely changed my mindset with working out and showed me that I can get a good workout without having to do cardio that I find boring.

What is this, the military?

At least military being rough has a purpose...

Gym class wasn't like that at my highschool at all. But track practice was

I think schools, and sometimes parents, don't do enough to show kids the wide variety of ways one can get exercise. They don't always help kids find the thing that works for them.

I don't know if it's this way now, but when I was growing up, PE classes were almost exclusively oriented toward team sports. And even in cases where they might shift gears for a couple weeks and herd everyone out to the track, the coaches did nothing to discourage competitiveness. Therefore, we learned nothing about exercising for the joy of it. We were never told that it's okay to be a slow runner or a bad dancer.

For lifelong fitness, you have to see exercise as something fun you do for its own sake, not something you do to impress other people and win awards. If you can impress others, that's great, but if that's one's primary motivation, it won't last long.

I agree, also noone teaches you that failing is ok and that almost noone is good at something from the get go.

If you fail they just let you feel bad or try to make you feel good in the wrong way (aka not explaining how it really works)

Some sports are also difficult to find teams that will take elementary school kids.

My kid has always loved to run. As a two year old, he would run laps around the outside of the playground instead of playing on the equipment or eating sand in the sandbox. At four, he discovered that he could climb on the equipment, and that almost equalled his love of running.

Last year we found a track and field team that took little kids (youngest was four, oldest was 12), and my kiddo loved it. Went all the way to Nationals, had coaches that really pushed the kids in an age appropriate way instead of it just being a running club, and focused on the fundamental movements and form of each track and field sport to teach the kids proper form so that they're less likely to injure themselves later.

We moved, and in the new place the local track and field teams don't start accepting kids until middle school. No, my kid doesn't want to play soccer, or lacrosse, or basketball, or baseball, he wants to do track and field.

For the rock climbing, there are climbing gyms that allow little kids to climb, but no teams or coaches or classes or anyone to help him learn the proper technique of rock climbing.

As a parent, it's super frustrating.

Right?? I don’t know why it’s so difficult to remember the activity is enjoyable enough, prior to starting it.. I need a life hack!

So what happened during the 0.1?

Felt pretty sick / dizzy, plus mild fever or headache. But it's something that I was already gonna get or I was exhausted.

I was picturing something way different lol

Well once i had to run to the bathroom pretty quick, somehow putting too much stress on my body pushed the panic evacuation button, lol.

I'm pretty sure it's just cuz it sucks doing it. Afterwards yeah it's amazing, and I actually do enjoy most parts of my workouts. For example, I love squats. I think about squats throughout the day. But some days, like today, I had to through some high volume sets and I just did not want to. I had to talk myself into each set lol. I'm definitely glad I did it though.

I feel like working out or going to a gym isn’t actually ACCOMPLISHING anything. Like let’s say our ancestors would “workout” to get food, build fire, build shelter, etc. Lifting a machine or weights that literally is doing nothing except build your muscle doesn’t feel satisfying. Chopping and lifting wood to build a fire or a home or something probably feels very satisfying and it’s working out

I think it would be great if people did more practical workouts that benefited more than their muscles

I've tried both but I feel the same either way lol.

Like that other person said, that voice in your head just keeps you from upsetting the inertia.

I've started working out several times throughout the last few years and never once have I have ever said that working out feels good. I don't know why anyone says this or maybe I'm just broken or something, but working out makes me feel terrible. I start shaking uncontrollably when I'm lifting weights and it doesn't stop for hours. The longest I've worked out is about 4 months though, maybe it takes longer for it to feel okay?

I could never say for sure without knowing you and what you do in the gym.

But I would bet a lot of money you're doing smth wrong, now i know this isnt helpful but its a start.

I suggest you take it WAY easier and increase the challenge surely BUT as slowly as possible.

If you're shaking then the weights are either too heavy (for you, which is the only thing that matters, not what other ppl lift). Or your form might be suffering , in which case you need to educate yourself a bit or ask for help from an expert in the gym.

"self conditioning" is the word, I think.

The best thing I've heard and what I try remind myself is, "I've never regretted going to the gym."

It's because it doesn't feel good until a few minutes in. It IS physical labor, and we are evolutionarily predisposed to save energy by not exerting ourselves when we don't have to as adults (developing children is a different story).

I think a big part of it is that exercise is often associated with punishment. If I forgot a piece of uniform at TKD, then 20 push ups per piece. If you're late to soccer practice, 3 laps round the field, etc. Now laps and exercise and gym stuff are linked with being a negative thing because you did something wrong

Yea thats pretty bad reinforcing. People need to be more aware of how their "teachings" are perceived.

Give yourself something to work towards. Going to the gym felt like a chore until I found a sport I wanted to get better at and eventually compete in. Now the feelings are reversed, instead of “it feels good why don’t I want to do it?”, now it’s, “I feel bad, why didn’t I go do it?”

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It's awesome that you found what works for you, and 23 is super young so you got all that time ahead too.

School "education" can be horrible in so many ways.

It's because your body is a lazy fuck face who doesn't like doing anything. And yes, I'm being serious. Your body will look to do things in an easy and efficient way.

It's why, at the gym, you can't just do the second thing for the amount of time, or lift the same amount of weight without reaching a plateau. Once your body gets used to benching 150lbs. It will only grow as much as it needs to lift that 150 pounds. So you brain has to do all the hard work to convince your body to try for more, eat differently or get off the couch.

Your body is a lazy sum bitch. You just can't let your mind get dragged down by that asshole

It's "efficient" in that it doesn't needlessly waste energy, it's an evolutionary adaptation that's one of the reasons we are a species that's colonised the whole planet. For example, why bother growing all over body hair again when we moved into colder climates, we already have clothing so no point wasting the energy. Why build more muscle than is needed to lift 150lbs until we try to lift more than 150lbs? It may never happen and that's now wasted energy.

Your body can't think and argue though. It's all in your head.

Hydromassage? God I love that thing. There's a good possibility that it doesn't actually provide any benefits but holy crap it feels good.

Probably because we evolved under conditions where getting enough food was our main concern, and periodic starvation was pretty common. Our brains want us to conserve energy when possible, running is a waste of calories if you're not running to catch a wounded gazelle.

mental inertia is a bitch

Because it's the instant gratification vs delayed gratification. Why would you do something that doesn't make you feel good right away over something you can do right now to feel good?

It's because we have a hard time delaying gratification. Impulsively, we prefer the smaller, but instant, dopamine release we get by doing what we're already going. Getting to the gym requires actively stopping what youre doing that is bringing you pleasure, and switching to something where the dopamine release is further out.

It's the same idea behind procrastination and why it's so easy to fall into that trap.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_gratification

I read a long time ago that Terry Crews treats going to the gym as if it's like going to the spa. If he doesn't feel like working out he can just sit in the hot tub or get a massage or have a swim but the important thing is to show up.

When I was working out, I always gave myself props just for showing up. Even if all you do is a mile on the treadmill, it's a mile further than you would have gone on the couch.

because you know its gonna be heavy so you have to mentally get your shit together to want to get that sweat on! I love the gym too but somedays it takes so much will power.

Because it's boring as fuck.

Make it not boring.

  • bring an audio book for cardio.
  • track your weights like you're an RPG character.

  • find a friend who does gym and try going together

  • Other things I'm forgetting.

I go three days a week and have since I was 17. I've tried it all and I'm generally still bored while I slug it out at the gym.

I really like going to the gym. I watch a TV show while I am on the elliptical, treadmill or bike. Then I really try to push myself with the weights to maintain good form.

I just have a hard time getting my ass off of the couch.

I do this. I tell myself that I will just drive to the gym and then drive back without working out. Sounds crazy but it works. Once I get there I work out.

I wish I could find similar stuff that works for me. I love working out, but having to get ready, go there, change, change back and go back takes 45 min. If I could I'd work out 4 hours a day, but having to get everything ready is just a ton of hassle that doesn't directly work towards anything.

Mmmm, not how my anxiety works. I want to stop immediately. Doesn't matter what public or private. If I say "oh I'll ride this stationary bike for 30 mins then I'll go home" I'm in the locker room 32 mins later.

This follows a book I heard about, The Atomic Habit, pretty much his plan exactly!

And if there's no motivation for even just 5 minutes?

Similarly with work and procrastination. Tell yourself you will only work for 5 minutes. You will find you will be working for much longer.

I do the opposite. I tell myself I will only procrastinate for 5 minutes. I find myself procrastinating for much longer.

Podcasts and music help a lot for this. Or TV/iPad if you're at a gym with treadmill/bike etc. I'm super lazy but I'll often keep going to listen to the end of an episode or song. Or sometimes the music has motivated me to do more than the time I originally intended.

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My lazy self knows all my tricks.

I did exactly this on Friday when I went for my first run in 6 months. "I'll do a mile" and after half a mile I was going home after the mile. I did the mile and decided to do 2.

I ended up doing 4 miles which beats my all time record by 1 mile.

I'll be going again on Friday, but I'm only doing a mile.

I actually paid for a year round gym membership with the intention that spending money on it would motivate me to go..... just ended up wasting 180$

Working doesn't make my lungs catch fire, make me sweat and feel painful the next day.

Working out sounds exhausting and it's just easier to eat healthier, weight will come off. Fix the diet first - aka the problem almost every overweight person has.

This is so true. Plus unless you have particular goals like getting big or shredded or whatever, literally just going on walks is sufficient for most people.

Exactly, I've been working out a lot more consistently ever since I've done it "real quick" right before I shower.

I have some weights at home and only plan on doing a few reps. As soon as I start sweating I think "might as well do a few more since I've already gone through all the effort"

Yes this is a great method to motivate yourself. The dislike of getting started is always much worse than the reality of exercising. Whenever I fall out of my gym habit I start back very small. I tell myself I only need to do 20 minutes of the laziest cardio possible. It gets me into the building and from there it's always much easier

When I'm getting back in to working out I really do start with 5 or 10 minutes. It's so much easier to go back to it the next day if you didn't try to do a full 45 minute or hour workout and you're dreading doing it the next day. And it's easy to work up to the full workout if you didn't burn yourself out the first day.

I used to tell myself in college, “The more you do now the less you’ll have to do later.” That would normally convince me to at least get started on something (project, paper, whatever) early on.

The hardest step is absolutely the first one. I play ice hockey, and we have games that start at 1015 pm, and that's if everything at the rink is running smoothly (never does). Getting out the door to go to the games can sometimes be daunting, especially because I have a baby and a job and mornings are downright depressing. But once you're out the door and underway, it's fine.

Until you wake up hating yourself. But that's whatever.

I have found what made this most successful is to do something that makes working out/running fun - even if what you are doing isn't fun. For me, its one of the only times I can listen to whatever music I want to listen to. Or I have some podcasts that I specifically save for the gym - so I have something to look forward to and gives me that extra push.

Yup. "Just go and do 10 minutes on the treadmill, then you can leave." Well, I'm already here and now I feel pretty good so I may as well do my whole routine.

I had a sore back last week and was debating skipping the gym until it felt better. I decided to go and see how I did. My back actually felt better afterward. It's funny how our brains can play tricks on us for good or worse.

starting is much harder than continuing. especially if you have anxiety issues.

I’ve discovered my inner self is basically a toddler, so I tell myself things like, “If you get up early you’ll have time for more coffee.” Or my personal favorite, “If you work for an hour you can have a mini Snickers.” Mini Snickers have recently changed to apple slices and Tajin seasoning because I’m trying to be healthy, but the basic formula is always work=snack.

When I started running I would do it first thing in the morning so I was too sleepy to realize how much it sucked.

I think this works so well because anything past the goal you’ve set for yourself is a plus. You don’t feel like you’ve failed yourself and it makes it easier the next time you need to get yourself in your running shoes or whatever the workout may be.

I noticed that setting unrealistic/stretch goals wasn’t motivating but exhausting

Especially when you have nothing with the time on it you will just keep going

I do the same thing. Honestly, GETTING to the gym is the hard part. Once you're there, you usually get shit done.

Start the fire with a little bit of kindle, but just make sure you dont let that fire go out.

Honestly, my line of thinking is more like, "I want to be in better shape, but I'm never gonna get there if I don't start."

I guess it's a bit of a strange line of thinking, but that, "Problems don't solve themselves" mentality is keeping me going fairly well.

I'm also going in knowing it's gonna take a lot of time overall and be a pain in my fat ass, but I have no idea how that's affecting (effecting?) my motivation.

The problem isn't to keep going, it's to start in the first place.

Once you start, you've already invested something so you might want to use it anyway and decide that if you don't finish it now, you need to finish later.

For example, you have to do the dishes. Takes 10-20 minutes. But it can take a few hours or even days to actually start... But once you do it, you just want to finish so you don't need to start again.

My advice, which doesn't always work, but helps me, is this: don't say "I'll do it in 5 minutes" unless you have something more important or more productive thing to do. Say "I am doing this now". You promise yourself that you're doing this right now. And then you can't make excuses. You won't have time to come up with "after this video" or "eh, it's now 13:01, I'll wait until 14:00".

I procrastinate and it sucks... And one of the biggest problems for me is to come up with more things to do after I begin on something.

HAHA! I’ll do the same thing, but since I know that about myself now I’ll still avoid work because I know “five minutes” will turn into like two hours

I find myself doing that with dishes and cleaning all the time, course I also want to get it done now and not have to deal with it later.

Can't tell you the amount of times I've thought "ehh.. I'm kinda hung over/tired, I'm gonna skip the gym today" but made myself go for "just a light workout" instead and ended up doing a full sesh.

Once you get going, it's hard to stop :)

This is the greatest motivation I have ever heard of. The fuck it method: fuck it, I'm already at the gym.

My old job I worked 2nd shift and we had an on-site gym. I was never able to go before work, so I worked out after work, which meant start of the workout was 11:30 pm.

There were a fair number of nights I just wanted to go home like everyone else, but I would force myself into the gym. Almost every time I went within 10 minutes of being there I would get into it and would finish the full hour. I can't recall a time when I was done and had wished I would have skipped going.

I used to do that with running! I'd just go for 2km, come back and have a nice shower, but towards the end I'd think, 'hey, that was 2k, why not double it?' Then repeat and end up running 10-14km, feel insanely proud of myself for the rest of the day, even week sometimes!

Exercise is the best remedy to depression, slouchiness and laziness; once you start, you don't want to stop and it makes you feel so much better about yourself!

Tell yourself you will only work for 5 minutes. You will find you will be working for much longer.

Can confirm. Get home from work, tell myself I will only work for 5 minutes. Finally get to bed at 11:30.

I do this with brushing my teeth...

For the other lazy degen stoners like me, get a vaporizer, and vape a lil bud before the workout. Assuming you've got more of a sativa mind high going, it'll amplify the not wanting to stop once you've started. I'd get high and get so zoned into my run or lifting session. However if you've got a strain that gives you quite the body high, it has the opposite effect....hit or miss I suppose.

I wish I loved running. I cycle a lot when the weather's good, but I could be running all year long if I just enjoyed it.

Yep - I just was like, with myself, "just show up and do something for as long as you want, quit when you want to." I do about 30 mins a few times a week. I went from literally not even taking a walk to reliably working out. It's nothing crazy, I don't do weights, I just jump on the elliptical and watch some youtube. I can now walk up a flight of stairs without getting embarrassingly winded, and that's basically what I wanted. Sometimes I do a little more. I generally don't do less.

What if you're not a good liar?

I do this all the time.

I will make a deal with myself on days I don't feel like working out: "Okay, GreenGlowingMonkey. You ARE going to lift today. But, if you get off your ass and get going, you only have to do the big lift. You can slide on the accessory work today." 95% of the time, when I'm done with the big lift, I keep going and the accessories get done. And, on those few days that they don't, I don't sweat it. I mark down in my log that I just wasn't feeling it that day. If I start to see these happen too often, I try to figure out what is going wrong.

I do the same with cardio. "Okay, I'm running one mile today, no more" and then I end up finishing 5K before I stop.

Our brains are weird. It seems getting started is the hard part. At least for me it is.

Discipline trumps motivation every time. I know that I'm probably never going to feel motivated to go to the gym/for a run. But I tell myself it's something I have to do, even though I don't want to, and make it part of my daily routine, and now if I don't do it I feel strange.

The way I got myself to start working out is that I’d find some time in my schedule each day and think to myself, I can either work out, or I can try to get some schoolwork done. Knowing myself to be the terrible procrastinator that I am, I figured that I’d make better use of that time if I worked out.

I still got my work done, but time that used to be wasted became time used for working out.

This works for me too. I tell myself that I won't have to work out long if I don't want to. And a few times, I did only spend a few minutes at the gym. But working out makes you feel better. You'll probably want to keep it up once you start.

I also have a note on my fridge that says: "Feel like shit? Go work out!" I tend to forget how much better it makes me feel.

I had a similar experience. I walked to the gym having an internal fight about wanting to just sleep. Then did a bunch of pilates, while mumbling "this is the last set.. ok this is really the last set, goddammit I hate this I hate myself". Afterwards, dragged myself to the treadmill queue, was going to leave but it was my turn. Stepped up the treadmill, really didn't want to run and proceed to step off, but there was this one girl waiting behind me and I felt embarrassed for just leaving, so I told myself to run for five minutes, and it became 30 mins. It really do be like that sometimes.

I write down my work outs on a calendar after I've finished. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and I can see my progress.

this is why i like orange theory

I've been working out for about 5 years and at this point if I miss a day in my schedule I get extremely restless.

How does one become dedicated

Momentum. Just look at it as the same thing as taking a shower or brushing your teeth. It’s something that’s not an option. Before long it just becomes a simple part of your routine.

Lets try to get a routine first, but yeah that sounds like something i could do

Worked for me and I'm a lazy fucker. I just saw it as something I had to do after I got off work.

I don't get that high after exercising, I just feel tired. But feeling better every day because your body is actually being taken care of is reward enough.

Also, gainz.

The changes are gradual, but consistent. Slowly you're just able to do more.

And when you stop, the changes are gradual but consistent. slowly you're just able to do less.

The trick is, to never stop...

I haven't learnt that trick yet unfortunately.

Having a workout buddy helps, atleast it was what i needed to keep me motivated to go.

I find having one hurts. Because then my dedication gets lowered to their level of dedication, if they don’t go that day for whatever reason, suddenly that’s a good enough excuse for me to skip that day. That drive and consistency has to be on me, not someone else.

Definitely. I’ve been consistent with the gym for over a year now and it was only the other day I noticed, the weights I could only dream of lifting a year ago, are the same weights I’m using to warm up with now.

Plus anyone who I bump into that I haven’t seen in a while all comment how much bigger I’ve gotten where I haven’t really noticed. Feels good and the reason I keep on going to the gym even when I don’t fancy it.

That is always a great feeling. My “dream” weight for benching is now my warmup weight. Keep up the good work

Glad I'm not the only one to get tired after working out. So many people and sources online talk about how energizing it is and if it isn't for you you're not doing something right or haven't done it long enough. I did it without fail for 6 months, lost 40 lbs (220-180) and wasn't any more energized after working out at the end than I was at the beginning. Crazy concept that after I expend a great deal of energy I end up with less, not more.

I've been a consistent lifter for 3 years now and cardio advocate for 5...still waiting for that high lmao.

For me that high usually comes during the second lift rather than after the workout which leads me to believe the people who say that just aren't doing enough.

Exactly what I do. I get home, I change, I run or lift in the basement. 5 days a week; I allow myself 1 skip day a week if work was longer or shittier than usual, which I usually dont take. I rarely go more than 30-40 minutes of medium intensity, but I've already seen 10lbs lost and better physique after 6 weeks.

It's not nearly as hard as everyone thinks once you get going.

This. Just treat it like an inevitable action.

I don't get that high after exercising

You should try it, it's way more rewarding than if you get high without exercising.

I find that I feel jittery if I haven't exercised recently. Exercise makes my body calm.

What's wrong with flamingos?

Also, gainz.

Nothing better than feeling your body get "harder..."

If you're not getting that high after your work out, perhaps you should look at changing it up a bit. I work out twice a day and every time I go I get that high. But I constantly have to up weights and change my work out to get it.

Routine was everything for me.

I had to have a set time I'd work out every day, so I did it on my lunch break. If it was some ambiguous time every day, like "after work" which could have been any time between 3:00 and 7:00 PM, I'd find reasons to not do it. It's far too easy to justify it.

Doing it on my lunch forced me to do it within a time constraint.

When I say "work out", I mean.. I knew nothing of working out and was afraid to hit my gym, so I started out doing push ups, sit ups, planks, pull ups (bought a pull up bar) and that's it. I'd just do three sets of those until I couldn't do them anymore.

That was a couple years ago. I've since gained courage to go to the gym and talk to someone about an actual routine (like 6-7 exercises) to run through. I also started reading about diet and how foods affect your body, protein and carbs and fats. Started making sure I was eating enough of each and what not.

At this point I have a dedicated routine I work five days a week for an hour after work. I feel great, get compliments on my arms/shoulders (something I never could have imagined in my life), sleep better and my anxiety has dropped significantly.

The routine though.. I think back and think man, if I didn't force myself to do it at 12:00 PM every day, I never would have kept up with it.

Edit: let me know if you want any tips or anything for getting started! there are loads of other workouts you can do in your living room with nothing but a chair and a wall!

literally just do small exercises, no need to push yourself to the point of dreading a return. once you make it a routine it will get easier then you can start broadening what you do. at 90 days of exersizes youve made it a habit, and youve succeeded.

I mean you already have a routine. It's just a matter of what that routing consists of.

Honestly, if you end up having problems, you may just need a change in your frame of mind. Just thinking about it differently can change how motivated you are by a massive degree.

Not to say you're thinking about it wrong, just that if you can't find the motivation, a different perspective may help.

that was the correct answer. on day one you treat it like you've been doing it for years and this is just something you do (now).

Pick 2-3 days a week where you're going to exercise. For me I go to the gym after work (before sitting down at home) on a tuesday (mondays are always mad busy), thursdays I play 5aside (you could go for a walk/run/other sport or gym again), then I'll go to the gym one of the days of the weekend. Anything extra you do is great but set out those days where you'll go unless something important comes up.

Also, get some dumbbells at home of a challenging weight, I suggest between 10-15kg if you're a reasonably built man, so you can just do 15-30 mins at home if you fancy it.

What if showering and brushing your teeth is a struggle too?

Some exercise is better than no exercise, just as showering every 3 days is better than not at all.

I have long spells of social anxiety and can't bring myself to go to a gym regularly. Because of that, I decided to get cheap home exercise equipment. I keep them in plain sight so that I'm more frequently reminded to exercise. Even though I'm dejected and won't do full sessions as often as I should, a few sets of weights here and there can only serve to help me.

I'm thinking of picking up VR so I can have fun while exercising. Basically I will setup a time to play it like going to the gym. I don't have the money right now, but one can dream~

get a used Wii and Wii Sports.

I actually have a WiiU as well. I am not really drawn in as it's just a hand for the most part. VR on the other hand I got drawn in for hours playing Super Hot last I played.

it's been a few years, but I think Wii Sports Boxing uses two hands, as well as leaning to dodge/aim.

Best Saber

I assume you meant Beat Saber, and yes, I agree.

Saber is best Saber

/r/Saber

This may not work for you but, for me, I absolutely hate running. But I fucking love playing racquetball. And you wind up running a hell of a lot playing it.

Maybe racquetball isn't for you, but perhaps there is a sport that's fun enough that you forget you're exercising?

Yup! That's why I'm looking at VR! Haha.

Beat Saber works wonders on the arms. Similar to Wii Sports but more intense.

I did this and did 30mins of BeastSaber every day - I’ve not been doing it recently due to computer issues but I always ended up playing for 45mins to an hour just because it’s so fun. My Apple Watch loved me for that!

This is why I brush, shit, and do curls in the shower. Knock it all out at once.

I actually keep a squat rack in my shower to save time. I’m the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and need to shave even seconds off my m-f schedule.

Mfin' schedule? AROOO, mfer! It's always great to see fellow members of /r/THE_PACK succeeding!

What the fuck did you just open my eyes to?

Welcome to the rest of your life m'fer! AROOOO

Have you tried locating it above the toilet instead?

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Not sure how it works for you, but IME the mental battle that goes on when the depression is this severe? It’s insane.

I know objectively that the TV remote is only 20 feet away, or less. Very little energy would need to be expended to get it. And I will spend all day hating myself for spending all day not getting it. And then hating myself for hating myself. Then hating myself for causing myself so much unnecessary pain. And so on, until I cry myself to sleep or something. Much more energy is required to do this, not to mention emotional pain/strife.

Definitely seems to have to do with personal momentum or a lack thereof.

Hey man, I'm just a stranger on the internet, but that sounds really tough. I do it myself sometimes; I see something three feet away and I just can't get myself up to get it no matter how much I want it.

Something that I'm working on actually stemmed from a post I saw on Reddit, and I'll be damned if I can find it now or remember the author's name. But the basic takeaway for me was to think of myself as three separate people: Past Me, Present Me, and Future Me.

Past me didn't shower yesterday. But that's okay. Past me is dealing with a lot right now, and a shower just wasn't on the table. Present me can't shower today either, but I know how bad Future Me is going to feel about it, so Present Me is going to put on some clean clothes and brush my hair so that Future Me can think about something else instead.

Past Me left the remote on the other side of the room which, right now, feels a very long way away for Present Me. That sucks. I also know that Future Me is probably going to want to watch TV later. So I'm going to get that remote so that Future Me doesn't have to deal with this. I might not grab it right now, but next time I have to get up to pee I'll get it then.

Sometimes I find it hard to do things for myself. But when I think about my future self as a different person, I'm not doing it for me I'm doing it for them. The original poster did a much better job at explaining the concept, but it's slowly helping me. I hope this can help you too.

Best of luck.

Thanks for this. Really needed to read that. brofist

You’re most welcome. Best of luck with everything on your plate right now. brofist

Hey is this the line for getting fisted?

Sure thing, bud. offers fist

Wow mind blown

I find if I don't take my medicine for ADHD and Anxiety, I basically just exist. I don't do anything.

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I'm on 40mg XR Adderall and 15mg Lexapro.

With their powers combined, I am a functioning human!

Im gonna hopefully get some anxiety medication soon, how big was the difference when you first started?

I realized that my hyperactivity wasn't ADHD, it was anxious energy. The constant planning in my head for every single possible negative event that could happen, anxiety. The self doubt and fear of failure, anxiety. Panic attacks? Gone.

It's so big of a difference, I don't want to be off of it because it feels like the racing thoughts and distractions are gone and I am in control (comboed with my Adderall of course. I go into lala land without my Adderall but the anxiety is gone! Haha)

yup, that's depression. things like showering and brushing actually help with that if you can force yourself to do that. One step at a time. Hope you get better fam

Do it whenever you can manage, and forgive yourself whenever you can't.

If you perpetually feel 'behind' and ashamed at interrupting your routine, you'll naturally think of it less and less to avoid the negativity. So if you miss a day, put it behind you and don't try to make up for it, just try to keep the regular routine going.

Thank you for the positive message. I'm going to try and do better. :)

This is great advice. I often have to go even further beyond just forgiving my failures and actually celebrate the times I do manage. I try to take time to JUST focus on the accomplishment, no thinking about previous or future instances. No matter how many times I've failed in the past and regardless of what I'll do in the future, nothing can change that fact that this time, right now, I did the thing. That's something to be insanely proud of. Clearly it's something hard for me (or I'd be doing it all the time), so it's an accomplishment that deserves to be celebrated! The harder it felt to do, the better I deserve to feel for doing it.

And I try not to let any other circumstances throw a wet blanket over my accomplishment. I'm salaried at my job so while it's technically flexible as long as someone else is there and my work is done, there's a general expectation that 9-5 I should be in the office. Last week I was having a horrible, procrastinating time, and I just kept sitting at home, browsing Reddit, avoiding showering and getting ready for work. Finally, at like 2:30 IN THE AFTERNOON, I managed to plunk myself into the shower and finish getting ready for work. I did my whole damn morning routine (still trying to do anything to delay/avoid actually going to work), but I carried through and went in. And I decided that, for that day, that was a 100% success. I worked the 2 hours left in the day and congratulated myself on successfully defeating that day's procrastination because I DID. I got ready and went into work.

Yeah, I could have done it earlier if I had just gotten off my butt and started, but I also could have run an ultramarathon this morning if I'd been training for the last ten years and I can't do anything now to go back and change a single moment of the past to make either of those things different. What I can (and did) do is congratulate the fuck out of myself for how awesome I was for doing the thing. That stubborn positivity and refusal to let myself rain on my own parade actually left me feeling super accomplished and motivated, and I did pretty great the rest of the week going in on time and basically getting shit done. I even stopped to congratulate myself for making sure to fully enjoy my first tiny victory and starting that train of motivation.

Now obviously this is just my experience in my own circumstances. I'm lucky enough at this point in my life to be able to do things like the above without medication, so if you (or anyone reading this) uses medication, or therapy, or any other methods please do not drop those just because they aren't something I said I need! I'm only sharing my experience so that if you find something useful in it you can take it with you. Each and every one of you deserve to be able to celebrate any and every healthy choice you make, regardless of how "small" it may seem. 💜

Every 2 days, shower and brush your teeth while you are in there. It worked for me, and I feel so much better.

I keep bringing my toothbrush into the shower then it just sits there while I shower. Maybe I need to brush while I just sit there.

This is going to sound weird... My depression and anxiety cause me to have to work super hard to keep up my personal hygiene. I got the bathing somewhat regularly (shower a couple times a week with hoe baths at the sink in between) but the teeth brushing was the worst. It just felt like too many steps: lift the toothpaste, unscrew the cap, squeeze out the toothpaste, put the cap back on, etc. Somedays, i would just look at my toothbrush and be like, fuuuuuuck. Like, why can’t they put toothpaste in a bottle with a pump, like liquid hand soap? One day, because I’m ADHD/depressed/sleep-deprived/late for work/just fucking couldn’t, I just grabbed my toothbrush and pumped some hand soap on my toothbrush and brushed with that. It didn’t taste like anything and I even brushed my tongue with it. My meds give me dry mouth, which in turn gave me chronic bad breath. After brushing with soap, my mouth felt so clean. My breath was fresh for most of the day! So now, I brush with liquid hand soap. Also cleared up the recurrent thrush I was getting due to dry mouth. My dentist was like, “Meh. Whatever keeps you brushing more regularly.”

So...yeah. Bonus effect for me is I feel like my toothbrush is cleaner. Toothbrushes kind gross me out and I used to just toss them even after just a couple of weeks or use antibacterial soap on the bristles (yay, compulsive behavior!!). Now, I feel like I’m killing two birds with one stone. It’s crazy, I know. Probably not cleaner but I feel like it is.

I don’t know why I wrote this long ass comment.

Hey man I don't mean to put you down or anything but I'm sure regularly putting soap in your mouth and on your teeth is not good..

Nah. It’s fine.

Are you sure there's no negative impact from brushing with hand soap? Such as chemicals? Also, the hand soap could be killing the bacteria in your mouth, both healthy and unhealthy.

It may not be an issue now but it could compromise your immunity system like hand sanitizer does with excessive use.

I have a plan to start brushing and showering better but I want to make sure you've considered the health impact of your change.

Anything you’re rubbing into your skin all over your body* on a regular basis is generally fine to put into your mouth. I’m not swallowing it. Soap is non-toxic. I’m sure it’d make me feel sick if I swallowed a spoonful but that’s not what I’m doing. I mean, who hasn’t gotten a bit of shampoo in their mouth on occasion when washing their hair?

Excessive use of anything is bad for you. A bean-sized ball of soap foam on my toothbrush is not gonna hurt me. Using alcohol-based mouthwash actually made my mouth dry and my breath worse. Even non-alcohol mouthwash didn’t help.

Also, everything is made out of chemicals.

Don't put it down until you're done brushing. Do it first thing when you enter the shower.

I'll try my best! For you. I'll try to say your name. :)

What helps me:

  1. Recognize struggle to yourself.
  2. Shout and yell at yourself like you're trying to cast a fireball and focusing your inner power.
  3. Do it a few times, gain momentum, repeat with less resistance.
  4. Make it a habit.

I find that while unmedicated, I can scream, yell, and threaten myself mentally and nothing will budge.

Medicine is important. I simply sometimes forget to take it on the weekends.

Yes, I agree. I've been highly motivated by a short term meds course (about a month; my condition is not too dire, though). It gave me a good start to reinforce basic self-maintenance habits like proper hydration and exercise, so I can keep myself on the plus side.

​

That said, if I lose momentum, I'll need another boost.

Talk to someone.

I am, I think I just need to setup a routine even if I need to use alarms to do it.

Then start there instead.

get checked for adhd?

I have ADHD and Anxiety. I am medicated for both and have to take my medicine to even shower. I think I just need to force myself to do it consistently even if I need to set up alarms.

Or put meds and a glass of water right next to the bed. Wake up, reach over, take meds before you even get out of bed.

I've been making an effort to take my medicine before I leave the house compared to taking it -at- work and it's been great so far.

Hey man, that's cool. Can't shower? Try just putting on some clean clothes and put on some deoderant. Can't brush your teeth? Swill your mouth with water (or mouthwash if you can) and grab some gum. In everything you do, no matter how small, something is better than nothing. Can't go to the gym? Throw your headphones in, put your hood up, and just go walk around the block. Can't make a sandwich? That's cool, just grab the meat out of the fridge and eat that. Something is better than nothing.

Changing things up a big can help too. A friend of mine really struggled to shower, and after a bit of soul-searching discovered that it was because they hated walking past the mirror in the bathroom. So now they shower with the light off and they just have a little bit of light coming in from the hall. Same with brushing their teeth - they hated staring at their own reflection while brushing, so now they do it in the kitchen sink so they can look out of the window. Look at ways you can break things down into more manageable chunks and you might be able to throw out the parts you don't need.

I know these tips won't work for everyone, but I hope that they can help you in some way. :)

Thank you for this. This is a great bit of advice. I do look in the mirror every time I go to shower and get disappointed in myself.

I have been trying to eat better but I need to start tracking things. I feel like I have so much going on I could use a secretary to get myself on track then I'll be good.

I hope it can help. Apparently showering with the lights off was the best thing my friend did - it really helped them, so I hope it can help you too.

Tracking things is great! Sounds like you've got quite a lot on your plate there, so make sure you give yourself reasonable things to track and try not to overwhelm yourself. I try to track calories in an app, but sometimes the thought of putting in every single thing I ate today really sucks, and looking back over the "bad days" makes it harder for me to forgive myself.

So when I can't track all my calories, I just ask myself "Am I happy with my food decisions today?" Not "Did I eat well?" or "Was I healthy today?" because these questions are so heavily weighted. Sometimes I need chocolate. I crave it. If I can eat a reasonable amount of chocolate then I am happy with that decision. If I ate too much, then I am not happy with that decision, but that's okay. I forgive myself, and I will try harder tomorrow.

If you do think of the Three Yous, then break your eating down further and ask yourself: Will this make Future Me happy? IME that huge chocolate bar makes Present Me very happy, but I know that Future Me is probably going to look back and be a little bit disappointed. On the other hand, if I just eat half of the chocolate, then Future Me is going to be really proud of Past Me for thinking ahead (plus Future Me will probably be reeeeeally happy that she still has a bit of chocolate lying around...)

A lack of motivation can be really draining and just flat-out exhausting. You're pushing yourself uphill and that's not easy, no matter how big or small the hill. You're constantly at war with yourself. I'm just a stranger on the internet, but as someone who frequently struggles with motivation I truly hope that you can find something that works for you.

I use the 3 yous all the time! Haha.

I am working on it all. I've just been stressed lately because I'm terrified of launching my game.

You're launching a game? That sounds awesome! And thanks for trading comments with me, kind stranger. Remembering the Three Yous prompted me to finally clear my desk, which has been a cause of some major procrastination today. :)

Best of luck with launching your game! Where is it launching and what kind of game is it?

I'm launching a physical card game soon, hopefully with a mobile demo for people to try before they buy.

You can play it with an Uno deck and 2 six sided dice if you have the rules from my NinjaPuppyGaming page (for some reason my posts keep getting deleted if I put a link).

I have changed the Summoner to the Sorcerer

I have buffed the scout and cleaned up the instructions

I have tweak the warlock for more curses

I can provide those updated changes if you want. I need to send the changes to my website guy and I haven't done it.

I wish card games were my forte but I'm more of a "hack and mash" gamer. Give me a controller and some buttons to mash and I'm happy as larry - give me cards and things to remember and my brain turns to mush!

This sounds awesome, and I love the name. I wish you the best of luck with the launch! Sounds like a lot of time and love has gone in to this project. :)

Ive had everyone from little kids to old ladies to a blind guy (with help) play it and got lots of positive feedback.

It's basically Uno with dice rolling for damage and sometimes big abilities to really mess with things.

It's designed to be super simple to pick up and run. (I've gotten lots of compliments along that line too!)

Usually when I talk about my game/games, I get the response: This seems really well thought out.

To which I say: It is. I want my name to be associated with quality. :)

Try starting even smaller. Like just mouthwash and change your undies every day with an aim to shower and brush teeth on certain days. Like, "oh it's Monday, then it's shower day" and keep your tooth brush/paste in the shower too. This at least helped me stay tethered to world just ticking away instead of losing whole months at a time.

Be as dedicated to yourself as you would be taking care of your favorite person in the whole world.

One small thing that kept me accountable to myself was starting a bullet journal. Instead of reddit/fb at work, I filled out my journal while listening to speeches and lectures online. It was a little daunting to start but I just did it anyway and as a result I gained a real sense of agency again and it kickstarted my dormant creativity.

And those speeches I listened to? The one that really stuck with me and made an impact was by Mel Robbins called Motivation is Garbage. She figured out some really useful tools and perspectives for crawling out of her own dark, depressive hole.

Hopefully some of this can help you too.

Yup! I need to create a schedule. I'm a person who struggles without lists. I have plans in place.

Then real talk you should probably talk to your doctor about getting on an antidepressant.

Psychiatric meds give so many hurting people a fighting chance. But they don’t work for everyone.

I spent about 5 years (all of my young adult life so far) trying to find a medication cocktail that worked for me. Getting off of everything now after I lost hope in anything ever working. I’ve gone through more different trial treatments for my depression than I could hope to recall. Pristiq withdrawal is hell.

This is a long read but I think it might have changed my life: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/04/08/the-challenge-of-going-off-psychiatric-drugs

Totally true, meds are almost never the end-all be-all solution, but they are often helpful as part of the solution, especially in giving a tool to overcome the apathy that often comes with depression. They can be what gives someone a fighting chance of making positive changes in their life.

Though, of course, not always. Everyone is unique and should do what works for them.

I know the feeling. I've spent literal decades trying to find meds that work. Only a couple have ever made a dent in my depression/insomnia/etc., and those stopped working after a short while. I may as well have been taking sugar pills.

I shelled out for a really good psychiatrist a few years ago, and he sent me for a genetic test. Turns out, I'm a mutant who doesn't process drugs or make neurotransmitters correctly. It's called the MTHFR mutation. There is a supplement I have to take (L-methylfolate), which will hopefully help my medications work better.

Might be something to look into if you're treatment-resistant.

I have medicine, I just forget to take it on the weekends. I also know how to fix the problem but I make up excuses. I'm going to try better today.

Tie it to something you always do. I take my meds with my first sip of coffee. On non-work days that means I take it a whole lot later than work days. But, I take it.

Probably is, Adderall has like a 10-12 hour life for me, so if I take it at 1pm, I won't even begin to slow down until 1am or later. I have to be at work by 8:30am so it's a bit rough if I sleep in.

Perhaps you can get a small quantity of short acting formulation for days you forget until late-ish. If your doc is okay with that.

She would be fine with that probably. She knows I'm very good about watching myself with medication and she said it was okay if I want to skip on the weekend or if I want to take it.

Treat any underlying depression, have someone help make you accountable for improving yourself.

I'll ask my roommate if he can help me.

Do them at the gym?

Eh, way outside my comfort zone. Plus, I'm not going to the gym right now. I will work this out though.

Then just treat them like going to the gym - something you do as part of your routine without thinking about.

Eh... Sadly, I'm an over thinker. The only thing I do without thinking is sleep. Even playing games, I have to constantly be thinking ahead or I have to distract myself with videos. Even taking my medicine, waking up, and driving is all active thinking.

That struggle becomes much easier to deal with when your teeth fall out and there aren’t any left to brush.

Teeth nightmares are the worst for me. I am going to do better starting today.

I don’t know how old you are but i promise that you will thank yourself when you get older. Periodontal disease is no joke. There is nothing more horrifying than the day you notice an incisor is suddenly loose. Unless you have a spare $50,000 to get implants.

I'm 28. I am scared and when I had my teeth deep cleaned like 3 years ago, she said I could save my teeth with no lingering problems if I start to brush and floss now.

I started brushing and flossing for about 6 months then fell out of it.

I am trying to setup another deep clean soon and start cleaning up again. I will start brushing today and keep working on it.

One step at a time - make sure you sincerely congratulate yourself for any positive steps you make, even if it's just brushing your teeth.

I've found going to exercise classes helps me stay on track - it feels like an appointment I need to keep

Thank you for the positive message. :)

Then you need therapy.

Difficulty in basic grooming, whether mental or physical is a sign of serious problems.

Embrace the struggle. Life sucks, and getting good at it is hard. Knowing deep down that when push comes to shove you can struggle through something you don't like is almost a super power. Once you know you can do that, you know you can do anything, because you can and have put in the work. After that, life sucks a little less, and you can start to enjoy the things that don't suck even more, because you know that the approaching shitstorm (whatever it is) can be weathered.

When you feel like you can't, it's time to get angry, not sad. Say fuck you to the laziness in you and stir a fire to prove that dark lonely side of yourself wrong. When you conquer that feeling of being held back by yourself, you'll not only feel better for it, but you'll know that you can do it. Once you know that, then it will be just a little bit easier the next time.

Set a moment where you always shower, before bed is nice, then you'll start missing it when you don't do it. Don't wash your hair too often though, even if you shower daily, that's bad for it

I like a nice shower before bed but at the same time, I find I get so caught up in games that I just let the time pass me by. I also hate waking up with my bed head. Yet, taking one in the morning is nice and wakes me up but I struggle to get out of bed to actually take the shower.

I just need more commitment.

Woah woah you want me to brush my teeth too? This sounds like a big commitment here maybe I can take some baby steps in that direction but exercise and teeth brushing is months away.

This 100%. I got some weights a while ago and started doing just 20 minute exercises every day M-F, and then I try to spend an hour at the gym every Saturday and Sunday. A big excuse people use is that they don't have the time, and some try at first to exercise 3 times per week. I've found it easiest to do a short work out every day to establish the routine quicker.

Yes, and the great thing about buying your own weights, is that you can do curls while watching TV. Nearly everyone has a little bit of down time when all they're doing is looking at a screen.

Sadly I don't even have enough momentum to not lie down and sleep immediately after school, being too lazy to get up brush my teeth. Lol. I always wake up in the middle of the night and thEn i brush my teeth

Go for a walk in the middle of the night, it’s what I do.

Maybe use other examples because those 2 are totally an option for some peolpe :v

Its funny you should say shower and brushing teeth because this is my new strategy that I literally just started. I got up half an hour earlier ran, showered and brushed my teeth and plan on doing it every day, I'm making it my morning routine. I have tried countless times to get into a routine but they always fall through which is what so many people have an issue with. I always found it a little silly that people put this in these kind of things because everyone knows that exercise is good its just the commitment part. So I'm hoping the daily morning run will finally make me consistent.

And it actually make us feel good afterwards thanks to endorphins. It's very rewarding. I always make sure to include at least 10 minutes of high-intensity exercise daily. It may not seem like much but it's easier to keep the daily habit this way.

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Brush your teeth at bedtime, if it's the taste of food and drink is the problem. Or just use water and baking soda - it's not very pleasant while brushing, but there's no significant alteration to the taste of food.

Sometimes it helps to reward oneself for developing a good habit. For example, if you have a lawn and you hate to mow it, you can only have your favorite beer if you mow the lawn. You can have other brands of beer, if beer is your thing, but you can only have your favorite if you mow the lawn. In short order, you'll be looking forward to lawn mowing day.

Or maybe you don't typically eat or drink anything after 10 pm but you're usually awake until midnight, texting friends. You could then implement a rule: no texting after 10 pm unless you've brushed your teeth.

It does take a little bit of discipline at first to build a new habit, but once the habit is established, one can drop the rewards and just enjoy the satisfaction of having done the right thing.

Not only does it become part of your routine but personally I began to look forward to my workouts and be kinda sad on my rest days.

I got the mass, but where does the velocity come from?

I have enough of an issue doing both those things.

I shower probably once every three days, brush my teeth maybe once or twice a week, because I never remember to do those things. By the time i remember, I'm in a position where I can't do them

Instead of going to the gym and not pushing myself or just not going at all I started OTF . Point is I sign up before hand and have an instructor to motivate and keep me accountable. It may be more expensive than a straight gym membership but I think of it as an investment in my health and my future.

Also, I work out first thing in the morning and am to the point where I feel sluggish all day if I don't do something active in the morning.

That’s a good analogy except taking a shower or brushing my teeth feels at best amazing and at worst boring. Exercising, on the other hand is hard and sometimes painful.

This didn't work for me, I worked out 6 days a week for 6 months and by day 180 I still hated every minute of it. Not once in the last 5 months since then have I had any desire to work out again. I also tracked my progress, taking pictures each month, taking measurements of various body parts, and tracking the increasing weights I was using. None of that motivated me and it never became routine. I don't know what more I could do.

This is literally it. The first few weeks will be the hardest to keep doing it, you have to just hammer and chisel it into your routine. After about 4-6 weeks it becomes to come second nature and you feel bad when you don’t do it.

It’s something that’s not an option.

Everything's an option with severe depression...

I have to fight myself to shower or brush my teeth I hate how my brain is wired

LMAOOOOOO brushing not an option? LMAOOOOOO you haven't met my depression XD XD XD

What? No. That's the opposite of what you want to do. If you make exercise just a chore for you it will get super boring super fast. Do you enjoy doing dishes or brushing your teeth? I don't think so.

Progress is key, put a big goal to reach first, and put other smaller goals before that. For example let's say you want to bench 315 lbs., you have to first bench 135, then improve up to 225 and then finally you would get to 315, of course it is much easier to write this then actually do it, in reality, there are many more small goals, and it's a long process but know that it can be done. Here's the thing though, if you achieve these small goals most of the time (some days you won't and that's okay), it doesn't even matter to reach the big goal, as the saying goes, it's not about how much you can lift, it's how good you look (unless you are a professional athlete ofc). If everytime you look at a mirror you see an improved version of yourself, then you will actually be enthusiastic about going to gym and it won't be hard for you, hell, it will be hard for you to leave.

Just keep going to the gym. Doesn't matter if you just walk a mile or do a few sets and decide to go home you're still lapping everyone who didn't go and are building the habit of going. Eventually you get a twisted joy from going.

You start to love the pain lol

Too true! Two years ago I decided I wanted bigger shoulders so I did lots of overhead presses. At a certain point they'd hurt and I'd think it must be a good work out.

Six months later I'd find that I couldn't move my arms after a work out, must've been really intense. Second time it was concerning. Third time a problem. Turns out I have funny shoulder design and was impinging my nerves and veins in my shoulders with each rep 😂 Rehabbed them and slowly working them in a safer manner now.

Sorry about that! OHP can be rough on the shoulders for sure

It happens. I won the lottery and have a shoulder design only found in ~1.5% of the general population. Ended up pivoting to focus on deadlifts and managed to hit like a 430 which I feel is my biggest gym accomplishment so far. One door closes and another opens.

Damn dude! Nice deadlift. That rocks

Thanks! Ended up taking 2018 off to help take care of family, kinda rough year. Anyway still chasing my way back to it. Currently sitting around a 300, hoping to beat it within a year.

Heck yeah man you got it

r/SuddenlyMasochism

Nah. I wrestled for six years and I fucking hated the pain every single day. These days I disdain even working up a breath.

The Rock has a good quote like this I read on Instagram a few years back that stuck with me. He said something like, “just go. It doesn’t matter if you only go in sit on the bench and read for 5 minute then go home. Just make sure you’re going to keep that habit up”. I’ve been consistently going to the gym for about 11 years now and I’ve definitely had days where I show up, walk for 10 minutes and go home because that’s all I can handle that day. But it’s so worth it, as someone said above, it’s just something I do each day, like showering. It’s non-negotiable.

I may have paraphrased from a few different people. People wiser than myself. My favorite motivational line is from Ronnie Coleman, everyone want to be big and strong like me but nobody want to lift this heavy ass weight. Helps me push myself on harder sets

This right here. You need to give your self permission to just go and do next to nothing - maybe sit and fiddle with a weight machine for a minute or two and maybe walk a few laps. You just want to create a habit of going . After a while a routine will form by itself (almost) and you'll feel good about doing certain motions and routines. Even then, you have bad days and you still need to give yourself permission to have what I call "half throttle" days. You don't feel well, you have shit on your mind and what not else so you just show up and go through some simple motions.

I've found that this has been, hands down, the key for me to maintain a commitment to go to the rec center. It has now become my little sanctuary where I go to escape for a little while and enjoy some alone time. When I think of "going to the gym" it now induces good feelings instead of dread.

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My best tip. Go find the biggest strongest dudes (or people in the kind of shape you want to be in) and ask (when they are obviously between sets) what they wish they knew when they started, usually it ends up boiling down to a few things, may make life easier. My favorite I got was not to be angry for not doing X or Y, just stop before you hurt yourself, bump it down and push a bit harder than usual, you'll get there. They may even help you on your form if you ask. Usually they are some of the nicest guys more than willing to help get someone into something they love.

Hey I did stronglifts when I first started going to the gym! I’d definitely recommend it, I got nice n strong :)

SL is a great program. Stop having anxiety about having bad form... bottom line is it's going to suck in the beginning. Now that we have that out of the way, just commit to being a student and trying to continually improve it. Tons of great instructional content on YouTube. For example, Alan Thrall has an awesome video on deadlifting form that makes it very hard to fuck up. Mark Rippetoe has loads of content out there. Record yourself and ask for a form check on the SL subreddit. You've got this!

Sweat is your fat crying. You can do this!

Doesn't matter if you just walk a mile or do a few sets and decide to go home you're still lapping everyone who didn't go and are building the habit of going.

I remind myself of this every time I see guys at the gym who look way better than me. I look pretty average for a consistent gym goer, but when I leave I'm quickly reminded that that means I look better than at least 95% of the general population.

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Or if you can, get a job where excersise is a component. I recently stepped down from a stressful position (retail supervisor) to (mainly) pushing shopping carts at least for a portion of my shift...the pay drop was minimal but my stress has decreased tenfold, I'm increasing my strength and working on a nice summer tan (and can listen to music on my phone all day).

Yup! Just keep going is really the best answer. I decided to do a home gym in my basement. When I go downstairs, I pick from the theatre room or gym. After you pick the gym once, you always pick it.

Edit: except during a play through of Breath of the Wild. That was a journey.

This is how I got my schedule together when I started working from home. I sit at my desk for an hour every day, no matter what's on my agenda. Things get done now.

I think it's easier to work out at a gym. Once you're inside and working out, you might as well get it over with. Not too many distractions to stop you.

I tried jogging/running at home. I plotted where the one-quarter of a mile point would be from my drive way. Makes it easy to track your distance in your head, but also made it easy for me to say "hey I'm back at my house, I can quit now" after half a mile.

I now have a gym membership, and whenever I go, I start my workout with a .25 mile walk at 1.0 elevation(for "realism") and 2.0 speed(?) for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, I jump to 5.0 speed for 5 minutes. Progress to 6.0 for 5 minutes. Then finish off at 7.0 to hit my 1.25 mile mark.

I then do whatever workout for that day. The cool-down is a slow jog to half a mile.

I'm trying to progress to 2 miles, so that's just where I'm at.

This just isn't true for everyone.... Some people just genuinely hate working out. I am one of those people. I force myself to do it because I know it's healthy. But after going 3 times per week for a year, I enjoyed it less and less as time went on.

Try a different work out! There's tons of different ways to exercise. I used to be into BJJ (core and abductors/adductors every day lol) and there's other things like biking, rock climbing, (kick)boxing, parkour, and many more. They all require different types of strength.

Or maybe change your motivations to exercise. I started because I wanted to lose weight to find greater success in dating (lost 50 lbs) but ended up loving powerlifting and never quite got to 6 pack abs like I initially wanted because I was busy eating tons to get energy to lift more weight. Priorities changed I guess.

Omg thank you for telling this. I’ve tried everything for years. I absolutely hate it. I only do exercise because I work from home, all day sitting down and I don’t move at all. I starting exercising regularly about 5 years ago when I had a motorbike accident and damaged my ribs. Now if I don’t keep my back muscles in shape I really have a lot of pain. So that is my only motivation to do it. But every day is an internal fight with myself to avoid doing it. And I don’t feel good after exercise. I don’t know if my body is broken but I never felt joy about it. In fact I feel tired and regret doing it because the next day may be painful and I’m more tired in the evening than if I didn’t do it. I tried the gym and what works better for me right now is Fitbit coach. Because at least I don’t need to go to the gym which is not very close with bad weather and such. I had people telling me when it’s a habit you enjoy it but 5 years have passed and I don’t see it happening xD

By trying a little bit more every time.

I'l try

What I did was keep in my head that the time's gonna pass anyway no matter if I worked out or not, so I should just spend it working out and feel good about myself 3 months later. It worked like a charm. Moist boy penguinz0 on YouTube gave this idea to me.

You don't even need to try (to an extent). Just show up.

first tell yourself it's what you really want

second forgive yourself whenever you slip

if you give yourself a hard time every time you slip, you will give up. if you overeat or miss a few days at the gym, dont believe you already failed. lifestyle changes dont happen instantly. forgive yourself and keep believing it's what you want to do. every time you make it into the gym, its easier to go the next time. every day you go without a soda or sugary drink makes the next day easier.

eventually getting to the gym every day is so easy, and you start seeing the results in the mirror, and people in your life will comment positively on your appearance, and you feel lighter and stronger, and you need to change your wardrobe because clothes no longer fit

Any time I find myself unmotivated to do something I know will help me in the long run, I just use the phrase "fuck you, do it." I don't know what it is, but it works every single time.

Make a routine and stick to it. I was pushing 280 about 5 months back. I really had no motivation until I was sitting at work and my heart started hurting. I'm 27; that shouldn't have been happening. My doctor was less than enthused, but very supportive when I told him I am committed to getting healthy.

 

I found a workout "buddy" in my roommate. We don't work out together but we make sure each other are up in the morning. I'm up at 4:30 AM and in the gym by 5:00 AM. It's become such routine that, now, if I'm not up and in the gym in the morning, I don't feel good about it throughout the day. Down to about 240 now and can't see myself slowing down. For me, it took a "rock bottom" kind of moment and health scare to find that dedication and momentum. But I also know I can do it. I ran a half marathon when I was in college, so I know I can get healthy.

Look man, I'm a huge procrastinator. I'm also really lazy. I just decided "screw it" and started hitting the gym at 5am every morning M-F. I told myself I was going to do it for a year. No excuses. So far, I'm 4.5 months in and I've only missed one single day and it was the day after I went to Disney because I was rekt after that. Even when I vacationed to Florida, I was up and at the gym every day. No matter how cold or snowy it was outside - I went. No matter how tired I was - it didn't matter.

You just have to convince yourself. Stop making emotional decisions and use your brain. You need exercise and you need to lose weight. Stop relying on feelings and sugar to make you fat, lazy, and "happy". You don't know what happy is until you see 15 pounds of added muscle to your frame and 30 pounds of fat lost. That's true happiness right there.

Make it easy for yourself. Get a basic home gym setup, or sign up for a gym somewhere convenient like between your home and work. Look up a basic beginner routine. Set up a regular schedule to go eg. monday wednesday friday after work. If someone asks you to do something else during this time, you can't do it, you're busy, sorry. Actually work out every time regardless of whether you feel like it, much like you might go to work or school even when you don't feel like it. After a month or so of forcing yourself to go when you don't feel like it will come a lot more naturally to you. You are now dedicated.

I was talking to my friend about this and how I over came that difficulty.

My way was to make it short and compound work outs. I did it for 1 year before I changed to a more complex workout.

No need to rush that. Habits are what's important.

So yeah. 3 sets with as many reps as you can do (6-10 or whatever) of push ups, pull ups and squats. YouTube the correct form or look on the bodyweight fitness subreddit.

It takes so little time and I rewarded myself with a smoothie afterwards because I was trying to get muscle.

I'm still working out today and it's been 4 years. I miss it when I am sick. I am much happier now with myself.

Honestly, for the last 3 months I have been addicted since I got an Apple Watch for Christmas. Constant competition has driven me to run and exercise a lot more based solely on the fact that I hate losing.

Honest answer, it needs to become part of your daily routine. Tried everything I could think of to make it stick but nothing worked. Started working out in the morning where it fit into my schedule WAY better and its sticking no problem (7 months and counting... wouldn't dream of quitting at this point not even a chore anymore).

Group exercise (crossfit, kickboxing, yoga, etc...) really helps... having a specific time to be somewhere is mentally a completely different thing then I have to go to the gym tonight at unspecified time. When I worked out in afternoons recognizing demotivators was huge (sitting on the couch after work, turning on the TV, or video games) if any of these things happened I wasn't going to workout. Schedule had to be I come home, change to gym clothes and go workout.

Don't think of it as a one off thing, its daily, its like showering... wouldn't skip showering would you? Have to find something that works for you.

Find an avenue of exercise you enjoy (or hate the least) and do that. What you’ll find is that most avenues of exercise receive benefits from other disciplines.

My example: I tried cardio/HIIT stuff on and off for years because I was told it was “best for you.” I never stayed consistent because I hated every minute of it. I realized I love picking up/moving heavy things. Flash forward a year and a half and I’m doing more conditioning than I ever have because I need it to be better at picking up heavy things.

As a gamer i found Habitica to be helpful for that

If you have trouble starting get a trainer. That helped me get started and now I can't stop.

How do you find a good one? I got the first session free with the gym membership, and the trainer was relentlessly marketing to get me sign up for a package, and now I'm wary of trusting them because if I sign up, I feel they will try to keep me from ending it. I just want someone to help me set up a plan and show me how to use the equipment.

I used one that a friend recommended. He's an independent trainer and we just work out at his apartment gym. It works surprisingly well and I like that money goes straight to the trainer.

At first you just force yourself to go. Every time you say "I have to do this" and even if you hate every second of it you just go. Before you know it you won't be forcing yourself. Once it's a habit it's not something you make yourself do, it's just something you do.

You start by being a flake, then do the opposite

Find an exercise YOU actually enjoy. Something that makes you enjoy being with your body for an hour a day. For me it was swimming. For some people it's just yoga or pilates. For some people it's something more hardcore like powerlifting.

I recommend not "going to the gym" especially alone, as that is vague and nonspecific, and it is hard to really be as motivated alone.

Seeing the preliminary results and getting motivated to achieve more, of course.

If you can make it routine it helps. It's very easy to stagnate and end up unable to even exercise effectively; adding just a bit to your routine really, really helps. My approach was to just do sit-ups, curls with a cheap set of dumbbells, push-ups etc before I'd shower, so it was basically a daily thing. Started out with really small numbers, just a set or two; my back ached like hell after sit-ups if I pushed too hard. Within a few weeks it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Now I can barely find enough time to reach that limit, I'm so used to it.

Start small, do it every day, work up. Even if it's really, really small.

It also helps to find something you like.

Also, try and set yourself up for success. Make it REALLY hard to say no.

For example:

I don't really like to start exercising, and I'm not very consistent with it. Sports and physicality never really spoke to me in general. As can be imagined, I was a fat fucking blob.

But I am competitive. When I play video games, I tend to grind my characters to a higher level. I fill out skill trees. I want the best combos for my poke'mon teams. Shit like that.

And I found an aspect of that in going to the gym. I would try to run farther and faster on the treadmill. I would try to lift weights (following regimens) and incorporate new exercises in to them.

Before long, I wasn't going to the gym to lose weight or gain muscle. I was going to level up. I wanted to play the game.

To make it easier for myself, I would pack a duffle bag and all my stuff with my work stuff for the day. That way, when I left work, I was more likely to go to the gym. I mean, I already had all my stuff.

I also stopped by a donut shop and had a snack before I went. Again, the weight loss was just a benefit. I was (and still am) a fatso at heart. I just happen to burn more calories than I put in now.

Making the exercise something that you like to do helps. I bought a VR headset (which I realize is not within everyones budget), specifically intending to play high-activity games that would burn some calories. Then set myself the goal of playing at least 45 minutes a day.

It also helps if it is something that you need to do anyway. I ride my bike to and from work. Since I'm already on my bike, it is easy to take a longer route on the way home. Though I don't have a dog myself, dog-walking might fall under the same heading; simply decide that sometimes you are going to take a longer route.

Team sports might fall under both headings. Both something that you want to do, and something where you have to show up not to let the rest of the team down.

Look at the big picture rather than the small steps. Won't really go through a forest by focusing on every tree on your way.

Turn up. Seriously that’s the hardest part. Once you get going and then inevitably something breaks your routine despite that internal monologue that tells you to give it up for whatever shitty reason turning up again is the easiest counter argument. Once you do, the rest follows. Feel intimidated or that something is beyond you? Turn up again and again and the rest follows.

Have a goal.

Have a plan (Do your research like you would if you were going to buy a car or a house)

Pick your passion - cardio? weights? both?

Be smart - you need recovery time, stretch before and after -every time!

Drink more water -its lubricant for your bones/joints/muscles

Also dont spend 3 months researching just pick a valid program and adjust small amounts as necessary as long as you can do X or Y just a little bit better than last time.

Analysis paralysis is real! Don't do it!

Do it every day for a month. Its basically impossible but if you pull it off you're pretty much sorted

I've seen some of the responses to this and most of them wouldn't have worked when I was in your shoes a few years ago.

What worked for me? A friend of mine to quite literally ANNOYED me into going to the gym with him every day nearly. It was annoying as fuck and I resented him a little but after a few weeks I realised that he was training my body into its new routine - gym after work.

What we did there was irrelevant. The first few weeks were super easy (I was quite large) and sook I naturally ramoe dup the intensity. The key is to make it your new normal. Make going to the gym or working out at home part of your daily routine. It will suck for a few weeks but I'm here about 45kg lighter and I'm so glad

My greatest tip to newcomers: pick a good compound movement and a couple isolation exercises if you want to lift weights. Go hard for three exercises. It takes you 30-45 minutes, often 30 if your rests are short, to do about 10-12 sets of good lifts on three exercises. That’s really all you need. Diet is 80% of it. If you enjoy running, start small and gradually build up. Exercising became a great stabilizer for mental health to me. Encourage everyone to get into it! Nobody at the gym will make fun of you. It’s all about taking care of yourself so fuck them anyway if they do

I found that finding a gym super close to work or along my commute made actually deciding to go work out way easier because it was already on my way home/to work.

I'm overweight and I woke up with a stupid strained neck because my toddler slept on my arm. But I went to the gym every day last week and i refuse to let today be the day I didn't make it. Every day I've told myself I can take a day off just not today.

Personally, just showing up the first few times to a gym is a thing I didn't enjoy at all, knowing I would spend a good time making myself tired. However, after a few sessions with a routine, you start to become accustomed to it and go at it without a thought about the tiring stuff. Also you feel more rewarded once you're done and relax.

Spend minimal time reading or looking up workouts and efficiency blogs and whatever apps. Just start working out.

I have a do-able monthly goal. I just want to walk 30 miles a month and I track with Endomondo. Feels good to see when I hit the goal.

Summary:

- find a gym that's easy to get to for you (enroute to work, etc).

- sign up for a group class.

- Go to the class 3 times a week.

- Just do that for 3 months.

Background:

The big issues with getting dedicated especially for physical exercise is just getting to the place, knowing what to do safely, and just general interest.

The other issue is social pressure to perform and belong. If you're really overweight you will stand out and feel pressure - but trust me anyone in that place respects you a TON if you're there and trying.

Mitigate both by finding a place that's enroute to where you need to go anyway and start with something very low pressure such as a group class (any class).

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Get some friends to join, I got into a running group recently and it's harder to feel lazy when other people are hoping that you can join

I commute by bicycle. It's great exercise and faster than the public transport. Do it, if you can!

If you take up running or cycling, grab an App like Strava that track your progress. Gives you nice feedback on runs, like how fast you were per mile/km, and ranks your effort on segments if you run the same routes. I scoffed at Gamification for years, but god damn it works.

Find a workout buddy it helps allot specially in the beginning when motivation/discipline may be low. It have taken me a long time but now I have no problem to workout alone, and get my ass to the gym/swimming place (same building) even times I feel like "I want to stay home QQQQQ"

Also helps to find a form of exercise you really enjoy. Example: I practice yoga, typically power vinyasa yoga, for an hour every day. I didn't start out thinking I was going to practice every day. Just a class here and there. But it eventually became something my body and my mind craved more and more. Now it's a daily practice for me. I still run and have a HITT routine, but yoga keeps me from falling away from those other routines by keeping me practicing regularly.

Force yourself to do it until it feels weird not to do it. The habit building usually only takes about a month or two. Those months suck, but once something is habit it's a lot easier to stick to it.

I was told of this quote by a friend “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable”. So much truth lies in that and you’ll only be able to truly understand it after the hard work is done.

Force yourself to do it for a few weeks (it really is the hardest part,) maybe get a friend or two to commit with you, or set up an easy goal to achieve. After you start seeing results, like weight loss or simply feeling better, you're more likely to become dedicated to improving yourself.

Start by taking small steps. Begin by doing 3 sets of10 pushups (or how many you can do), 3 sets of squats and stomach crunches.

That will take about 5 minutes but will make a big difference. In a few weeks you'll be able to do more, and you can add an exercise.

Small habits over time that build into complex routine. "Small" is relative to the individual. For some people that small step is actually jogging. For others the small step is getting out of bed first.

But small habits over time can and will build into complex routines. The goal is to hate change slightly less than stasis.

It's not a story a Jedi would tell you.

Some days motivation finds you, and other days, you have to find motivation.

Get a bicycle. It’s like crack to me, but in a good way

It takes 6 weeks of hard work before anything becomes an automatic habit.

You are pretty dedicated to doing some things every day. Eating. Brushing your teeth. Taking a shit.

I have a workout plan that is 5 days a week of exercises. If I miss one day it throws my entire week off, and really the next 6 weeks off because that's how long each round is. It makes me want to get up at 6am to go in before work

Get you a good preworkout

When I first started exercising, I always told myself I never regretted going to the gym, I’ve always regretted not going. After a few weeks of going 3or 4 times a week, it becomes a habit.

Start with low expectations. Seriously.

Don't dedicate to too much all up front. You can tell yourself all you're going to do is a 5 minute walk, and if that's all you do, great! But once you're out there, you may feel like going for longer, or even jogging a bit, excellent!

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. 5 mins in the gym is better than none.

Motivation is given to children who don't understand why something needs to be done, discipline is for grown ass people to get shit done. You can always find excuses when motivation is your driving force, whereas with discipline, there are no excuses.

Make a decision and stick to it, don't try to just stay motivated!

Get a dog who'll get hyper and destroy everything if you don't run him daily.

You're not dedicated to the workout, you become dedicated to the dog. It's easier.

Just take a small step. Getting into the gym and on the equipment, or out into the world, is like 3/4ths the battle. Working out isn't hard, its the stress, anxiety, and pain that surround it that deter people. But that anxiety and stress leaves once you show up, and that pain will end up subsiding the more you do it.

3 months. After the first month, you feel better. After the second, your clothes fit differently. After the third, people start noticing.

Work on determination not motivation.

Every day it gets a little bit easier, but that's the hard part, showing up every day.

Once you have a”streak” going you want to keep doing it to see how far you can go. My record is 50 days without blowing off a workout.

I got a dog. I’m a college student so I used to make excuses about being too busy to exercise, but now I’m forced to go for a walk every day because my dog needs it. Plus, now I have an exercise buddy!

Take it easy. Don't push yourself to "feel the burn" or any of that 80s Jazzercize BS. Go slow, go easy and make sure you're enjoying whatever you're doing. If you enjoy it you don't need to be "dedicated" because you'll simply want to do it.

Push yourself, make it painful drudgery and you'll keep up with it for a month, maybe more if you're super disciplined. Then you'll quit and never get back to it.

As others have said - by making it habitual, meaning that you should hit the gym even if you don't want to work out. Even if that means simply getting there, sitting around, and deciding to go home 10 minutes later. Reinforcing the habit is key, and in addition, once you start to see even the most minor results (this happens rather quickly if you're new to it), you very much feel a tangible reward / huge sense of accomplishment. It's a good feeling and a pretty solid motivator.

As a poster on another thread described it, make a commitment to "no zero days." In other words, require it of yourself that you do at least one positive thing each day. It doesn't have to be huge. If all you do is walk or jog to the end of the block and back, or if all you do is five bicep curls for each arm, that's a non-zero day.

Over time, instead of doing just one thing, you'll want to do two. Or you'll keep doing that one thing, for a longer period of time. That jog to the end of the block will become two blocks, then half a mile. Or you'll find some other positive thing to do.

But to begin, just do one. Any improvement, no matter small, is a great place to start.

Motivation gets you started, discipline keeps you going.

Tackle one thing at a time, and take it in small steps. Tackling too big a thing at once, or tackling too many things at once, will cause burnout. Always remember to have patience, and be kind to yourself. Habits are hard to learn, and they're even harder to break. Setting yourself small, repeated tasks will help, especially if you have some way to track your progress.

This could be tangible results, like tracking lbs on a scale or inches on a tape measure for losing weight, or it could just be as simple as marking a calendar whenever you achieve your task. This is the method that lots of habit-forming apps use, as they try to almost gamify habit forming through the formation of a streak or chain.

I quit smoking by marking each day in my journal when I didn't have a cigarette. I vividly remember my first night out some months after quitting when I was drunk and craving a cigarette, and the little voice in the back of my head reminded me just how big my non-stroking chain was. To me it feels good to cross off another day that I haven't smoked, and even 18 months later I'm still marking it off despite now finding the smell of cigarettes stomach-churning.

I saw a great analogy somewhere on Reddit (I wish I could remember the author's name!) of thinking of yourself as three people - Past You, Present You, and Future You.

What Past You did (breaking your streak, falling off the wagon, that Undesirable Behaviour You Want To Get Rid Off) was a great learning curve. Don't punish yourself for what Past You did, instead thank Past You for helping Present You learn from the experience.

What Present You is doing should always be an effort to help Future You. Working out tonight? Help Future You by drinking an extra bottle of water, and choosing a banana instead of a chocolate bar. Deadline next week? Help Future You by sitting down and outlining the bare bones of your project. Future You has friends or family coming over next week? Help Future You by doing a few dishes or tidying up the coffee table. It's one less thing for Future You to worry about when tomorrow comes.

Future You isn't here yet, and you don't know what'll happen when they arrive, but you can certainly do your best to give them a helping hand. Because when Future You becomes Present You, you'll be so grateful to Past You for all the things you did for yourself.

Small steps make a plan and keep to it. If you have a goal of 20 push ups, 20 sit ups and 20 squats per day its very easy to achieve and you will notice results in after a couple weeks that they get easier to do.

Even if you break them up in to smaller groups its still starting something. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

/r/theXeffect is a good method of building a habit.

Make dedication a hobby.

find some exercise you love doing, I can't stand going to the gym and lifting, running is literally the worst thing you can do with you time (opinion), but put me on a bike and I'll ride all day with a smile on my face.

It’s mostly progress. As long as you keep track and keep improving you’ll want to do more. But you have to remember that you don’t build a muscular form in one day.

Find something you love doing. Like I hated exercising until I found climbing and now I go as often as I can and I’ll hit the gym just to get better at it. Also finding people to do it with will help keep you accountable

at first it is just a routine. You do it because you want to make a good habit. You don't care about results, you just want to participate every day, or three days a week.

Then after a while you start to notice the results of your work. Your clothing is looser, you feel excited. Don't get excited just stick to the routine

Then after another while, other people start to notice. Your closes are definitely looser, and you are starting to look more muscular. Now you can start to get excited, now you look forward to your routine.

Now you plateau -> time to improve your routine or do something different, or just do maintenance on what you already achieved.

This is how you dedicate yourself.

Exercise is a really good addiction after awhile. Its difficult to get started but besides the physical stuff it also helps regulate your mood.

Honestly? Just build showing up into your routine. Doesn't matter if you just show up and do basically nothing, building the habit of going at all is the real goal. Once you're there, you'll do something.

Habituation, and wanting it badly enough. That is all

Das Username though... XD

Because I feel like garbage if I don’t go. I actively look forward to going

I like to do this thing at while I'm at work to keep me active throughout the day, that has also helped me maintain dedication & motivation.

Whenever I use the bathroom at work, I'll do 10-20 squats, jumping jacks, or lunges. Which works out for me because I go to the bathroom fairly often since I drink a lot of coffee and water, and sometimes I just need to be alone lol. Doing these quick workouts also helps me reset or destress a bit from work things.

Even though it's a small amount, by the end of the work day, I've already done anywhere between 40-60 reps and I get excited that I did some sort of exercise that I end up going to the gym or working out some more at home to continue the momentum.

I'm only dedicated when I have a tangible reason to be. I was a tennis player years ago and I would run 10 miles a day so I would stop gassing out in 3rd sets.

Then I stopped playing tennis and didn't work out for like 5 years.

Now I am obsessed with brazillian jiujitsu so I train 7-12 hours a week and look forward to it.

Find a thing you like and do it. Doesn't even matter if it's some shit like disc golf which doesn't take much energy. If you get super into it, then lifting will be a way to help you throw farther rather than that annoying thing you keep trying to force yourself to do.

When you start, you definitely aren’t. At least I wasn’t.

But I forced myself to do it everyday for a few weeks, and after a while I started to see gains, and a bit felt better so that became addictive.

Once it becomes something you like to do, you just kinda work it in whenever convenient and it tends to work itself out.

Find a goal. My goal when I wanted to start exercising was to be able to run a 5k. I started the couch to 5k program and completed my goal. Then I wanted to go further. I saw a half marathon I wanted to do so I trained for it and did it. Now running is essential to my daily routine. I’ve run 13 marathons and still have goals to accomplish (Boston qualifier - need to cut 2.5 minutes off my marathon time) and 100 mile ultra.

Start small and spend more energy on making it a habit than doing the exercise. Once you have the habit formed you can increase the workout. I started with 10 squats a day before my shower (mind you, it took me a month to get up to 10). Once I got to 10 I stayed there until I found it too easy, then I aded in increments of 5. its been 6 months now and I have been doing 50 a day for 3 months and I have just started to add calf raises to the workout. I am going very slowly but its really easy to keep the habit that way. As an added bonus all my back pain is totally gone and most of my leg pain is too.

By properly punctuating one's sentences.

surround yourself with it, follow fitness accounts on instagram of people who are educational and it helps if you find them attractive! talk to your friends about the gym and try and make a friend who is into fitness and text them about it!

It sounds simple but just immersing yourself in the social aspect it will go a long way to making it a larger part of your life

edit: also!!! huge thing that helped me get consistent!! don't get yourself down if you fuck up!! haven't gone to the gym in a week? who cares all that matters is that you go today! ate like shit this weekend! no worries don't beat yourself up just eat healthier today! its a marathon not a sprint and if you keep a positive progress minded mentality it WILL work

It really helps to set yourself a goal and make a plan to get there. It could be a goal of wanting to run x mile(s), doing x amounts of pushups or lifting x amount of weights within a certain time frame. Next year you'll be one year older, but how would you like to have changed in that time?

Have a plan and know what you're gonna do for the day when you arrive at the gym and you're already ahead of the mind games with your brain.

I've heard it takes 21 days to get into a routine. Then it's simply a part of your routine

Hang up a calendar. Mark it up with activities. Seeing a calendar up on the wall helped me.

making it easier accessible makes a difference. like theres a gym beside my work so I always pack my gym stuff and take it with me. that way no matter how tired I am I just go otherwise I know I wont get a chance.

Find a reason to workout and a way to workout that you enjoy and let it become an addiction.

Thank you, im gonna work on it

For me (and I still struggle) but when I don’t want to go the gym, I will just drop and do 5-10 push ups whenever I think of it, and I go to the gym about 2 times a week, not a lot but I normally do around 100 push-ups a day but I see the most gains from the gym

Find exercise that is fun.

For example, I found climbing. I enjoy climbing so much that when I exercise it doesn't even register as exercise.. It's just fun time. Exercise is now the highlight of my day.

So true. Even a 30-60 minute walk during the day can make you feel great. Put on your favorite music and just go.

That's what I do for my lunch hour at work. It's amazing. I get out of the office, get to work out, and also listen to a book for an hour.

May I ask where you get your audiobooks?

I have an Audible membership. It’s literally one of the best things I spend money on.

I've been wanting an audible membership for a while, but I just can't justify spending the money. Maybe now I can justify it as helping me lose weight by listening while walking. Do you have any book recommendations for it?

Do you have a library card account? You can check out your local public library to use the Libby app. It's a free resource of e-books and audiobooks!

Oh wow, I never heard of this. I haven't gone to my local library since I was a kid. I'll definitely check this out.

Definitely! Libraries are a great hub - depending on the library branch and area you're in, they also offer other various things for free such as digital magazines, video games, in-house 3D printer, hardware equipment, musical instruments, recording studio rooms you can book (you can finally record that podcast or new song you've been practicing!), etc. On top of that, programs available for kids, teens, adults and seniors like coding workshops, film nights, language learning groups, financial literacy workshops, and more!

Who knew libraries were so cool.

Stranger, you just significantly improved my daily life. Thank you.

Aww, this made my day! It's my pleasure and thank you for your kind comment :) Hoopla is another popular app that most libraries have where you can stream music, movies and TV shows on your phone, tablet or computer for free. And with PressReader, you can access over 3,000 newspapers and magazines from more than 97 countries. I can't stress enough about how awesome libraries are!

Your enthusiasm is delightful

Getting a dog was one of the best decisions I ever made: gets me out walking at least twice a day, and good for your mental health as well.

I'm going to start doing this. It's getting warmer where I live so that gives me more incentive to go out and enjoy the sun.

My mom likes to go out on walks every once in a while. Sometimes I join her. I find that even if we set our goal to just 20 minutes, once we get in the groove of walking to exercise, we'll stay out for nearly double that time.

I think having that "even a few minutes is better than nothing," mindset is important. Because once you start, you'll often do more than what you set out to do.

Yes! It's amazing how refreshed you feel afterwards. I love listening to podcasts while doing this.

For real.

For best results, find a sport you actually enjoy.

'Aw, I hate sports!'

Oh yeah, tried them all have you? No? Well then...

As a "I hate gyms" person, I agree! I found that bouldering is my thing. I like to go to bouldering gyms, but despised the regular gyms. However I haven't been in a while, they're a little pricey. :/

Ha, climbing is my thing too and what I had in mind when I wrote that comment.

Mine is only about £45 a month, and I get way more enjoyment out of it than I could spending £45 on anything else.

Just a shame the roped and the bouldering places in my city are separate. £100 if I want to be a member of both. Ouch.

Man I really wanted to check out a climbing gym until someone posted a video to reddit not long ago that showed a really fit girl falling and snapping her leg at one.

You should check it out! Think of all the times you went out to do something that other people have hurt themselves doing. That never stopped you! You probably drive, or are involved in someway with other people driving around you. Driving is one of the most dangerous activities in the world.

Just make sure you know yourself and take it easy at first. You most likely won't be doing the crazy climbs that more experienced climbers do anyway, so there is inherently less risk right there.

You most likely won't be doing the crazy climbs that more experienced climbers do anyway, so there is inherently less risk right there.

That's really not how it works. More experienced climbers know how to fall to make injury unlikely, even if they're doing hard climbs.

I'd say most bouldering injuries indoors are by newbie climbers falling off easy routes, but falling wrong.

Actually true. But u/Sierra419 should still check it out! Just take it easy.

Important thing is to learn to fall before you need to fall.

https://youtu.be/Q7gPe34WUR8?t=165

That was very informative! Also entertaining as the guy demonstrating would just fall.

There's different types of climbing. Roped climbing (AKA, sport climbing) is much less dangerous than bouldering (the climbing with just crash pads)..

But honestly, if you learn to fall then bouldering indoors really isn't all that dangerous.

Have seen some newbies have some bad falls though. Guy the other week slipped, fell on his knee, and it got seriously fucked up. Was screaming for 30 minutes non stop until the paramedics arrived.

Never seen an injury at my roped gym.

Ive seen a lady fall from 10m up, because she forgot to tie her knot.

Ive seen a guy get such a shitty belay he shattered his ankle when he hit the wall.

Ive seen a lady be so inattentive while belaying, she dislocated her ankle when the climber fell. Puddle of rope on the ground and i dunno how but she managed to get a foot caught.

And thats just inside.

Common theme? Lack of care. Climbing is fun and exciting, but you cannot be as mentally lazy as a lot of other sports. The safety mechanisms are simple, but critical. Dont do dumb shit. Save that for the sharp end lol.

Oof. I just moved near this one that I really like, and it's within walking distance. Unfortunately, it's the priciest one in the area at $65ish a month. I was thinking of paying up front for 12 months, I think you save a little since it's $650 that way. That comes with bouldering, a traditional (small) gym, and daily yoga classes (which I probably won't do).

There's another gym near my old work (now about 25 minutes away), and I actually have a 10 punch visit pass there. They offer both bouldering and a few auto-belay walls. But it's not as cool, or convenient as the one nearby. I should use the visits up, it's just difficult to go all the way out there. Plus it's one of those places with kids all the time, which can be annoying as an adult, versus the new one nearby that has a one kid to one adult policy, which is really just to discourage bringing kids.

Lengthy post, but it's a Monday and I felt like typing!

Just buy a boulder.

How did I miss this solution?

I'm not a gym person either, so I do studio fitness - SoulCycle, PureBarre, that sorta thing. If I sign up for a class, I'll honor that commitment and go.

I found that bouldering is my thing

ok, I'm really interested in what this is but I'm too scared to google it at work...

Lol it's rock climbing, but without the harness. Basically the indoor gyms for it have walls that don't go as high as the ones for normal rock climbing, and there are cushy mats to jump down on once you climb up. I still climb back down a ways, as that still works out your muscles and I don't want to jump from the top usually.

oooh, I had no idea that this was different than a rock climbing gym. I saw a girl snap her leg in half at one of these places and it's freaked me out ever since.

People die driving literally all the time. Or choking on food. Or on the toilet or in the bathroom.

I just read this same comment from... you. Huh.

Indoor rock climbing essentially

Fishing is a sport I enjoy and requires minimal physical energy

Don't cheat the system!

My thing was finding sports that didn't involve toxic dudes fighting over a ball. I ended up super into swimming.

Tennis is chill af though, I dig tennis.

Yeah, team sports really aren't for everyone. I'm not a fan of them either.

Swimming, climbing, kayaking, cycling, etc. Plenty of solitary sports!

I loved the team aspect of swimming actually but it was way more intelligent and healthy.

Climbing is the only thing I've found that'll get me into a gym lol. The great thing is it also motivates me to do other exercises and be active in other ways so I can become a better climber, and I'm starting to enjoy all of it.

The strength to weight ratio of climbing is crazy, I'm like how do I lose 2.5lbs for climbing season, it probably won't matter when I throw 20lbs worth of gear on my harness.

Losing weight is aid.

I totally agree. I can enjoy ball sports at a recreational level, but I can't take them seriously.

Individual sports like running, lifting, and cycling, those are sports that I can really throw myself into and take 100% seriously.

Either works fine for me although I don't enjoy team sports as much. Anything I can do solo is simply easier to do for 1-1.5h a day 4-6 times a week. Team sports aren't too flexible time wise.

Surfing is fun! You really get great upper body strength from paddling out and popping up on the board.

I hate getting sweaty from exercise.

So I swim.

For real! I've been struggling to get into an exercise routine for years until I took up boxing, it's the only thing I didn't give up on within a week and I love it.

I didn't find ANYTHING and I tried a lot.

As soon as it becomes physically demanding or exhausting, the fun factor is zero and I just wanna stop it. There is no fun in sweating and breathing hardly. Or it's just outright boring

How about just walking? Depending on where you live, there may be a lot of nice places to walk when the weather is good. And most gyms have TVs with the caption enabled, and/or treadmills that are internet-enabled so you can check your favorite websites or watch YouTube videos.

I once stayed at a hotel where the gym had treadmills and elliptical machines where you could select from a lot of different hiking videos. You could virtually stroll through a town in Germany, or a forest, or along the shore of a California lake. From time to time, a little pop-up would tell you a little about the place where you were. It was so awesome that I stayed an extra hour every evening, after my "real" workout was done, just to go for walks in New Zealand and other places I had never been.

There is no rule that one has to suffer to improve one's fitness. Suffering a little may be the quicker way to go about it, but suiting up and showing up is the most important thing. You just have to get a little bit creative sometimes.

I do a little walk from time to time but I need someone to go with me, I can't really go on my own.
The gym I went to had all those features (TVs and so on), but can you really concentrate on what you see while doing your exercise? I can't. I can't even listen to music or an audiobook because I'm busy trying not to die. And I'm going on the lowest level lmao. I was jealous for people who could have a talk or enjoy their music/TV while doing their exercises ... while it was just me and the rattling sound of my hard breath lol. I hate exercise SO MUCH you have no idea.

The cool thing is, the more you work out, the more muscle and stamina you build. It's definitely tough in the beginning, you're not wrong, but every time you walk, it'll get easier and easier. Every walk will be more fun, since you're going to be able to focus on your audiobook or your music more. Think about it as a big slide - tough to climb the stairs the first time but riding down to the bottom is easy. And once you get into a rhythm and get some endorphins it's even EASIER. You've got this!

Never had that effect, not even after 6 months of consequence. Maybe low level is already the most I can achieve, idk. Actually, I'm fine with almost not moving lol. It took a lot of stress and pressure out of my life when I just accepted that exercise just sucks for me and that's okay.

Exercise extends your life, improves your health and aids your sleep. I honestly feel it's possible you weren't sticking with it in a consistent way that set you up for success for six straight months if that was your experience. I'm sorry to say that "almost not moving" might be easier in the moment, but it's not easier or healthier for you in the long run. I hope you change your mind!

My sleep and health are actually fine.

Which ones did you try, out of interest?

Classical Gym (Cardio, Weight Lifting), Yoga, Walking, Nordic Walking, Jogging, Inline-Skating (too clumsy for this kind of sports, plus I'm mildly paralysed), Volleyball, Aquafitness, Swimming, Cycling, HIIT, Pilates.

There are some sports I can't do due to physical restrictions.

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I second disc golf. Even beyond the exercise aspect, just a general thing that made my life better. Throw in a dog, some friends, and a six pack, and while you might be consuming as many calories as you burn, you’re spending the day in nature, playing a very relaxing game with your friends and watching your and/or your friends pet(s) have the time of their life.

I live in nyc now and probably miss that activity more than anything.

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I would love to see someone try to play in the middle of Times Square.. 1st bucket, iron man’s head. 2nd bucket, Goofy’s hat. 9th? Lady libertys crown.

Aquajogging is truly mind-numbing unless you have a pond or lake you can do it in. At least outdoors you can come up with more interesting objectives than either aquajogging in place or trying to get from one end of the pool to the other.

I do hate sports, and I have tried them all, fight me.

But I can jog on a treadmill (Craigslist for $75) and watch garbage Netflix for 30 minutes. Feels like a treat.

As one of the most uncoordinated people ever, I’m with you: I hate sports. I hate anything that I can screw up and let my team down. I also can’t sprint for shit. I can however trundle along on a treadmill or stair-stepper at a moderate pace for quite a long time while binge-watching Netflix.

Tried all of em available to me and as a 30 year old fat dude im not going to try ballet or gymnastics.

I thought this. Then I found rock climbing, and it's the most fun thing ever.

Same, man.

It's the tits. Ventured outdoors yet? It's even more fun.

A few times! Take a nice hike, explore some beautiful nature, even build a muscle or two! I'm hoping to get out more this summer.

I want to try indoor rock climbing, but even for some trial runs around here it'd be 100+ for rental stuff alone along with time at the courses. If I had disposable income like that then I'd try it, but sadly that's the only thing that really interests me at the time being.

You could try bouldering? Much lower cost to entry. You can pick up all the basics via youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5L3NS5v_hU&list=PLV0HDPVBqsyPGPGKTSqOoUGQBV-A9_fff

There's only 1 location in my city that does bouldering or climbing in general. Base entry to the gym itself is 50, shoes and chalk are 40. Granted this gets you all day, assuming you don't leave for lunch and spend money there buying snacks to tide you over.

50 a day? What currency is that?

My climbing gym is £45 a month...

It was/ is USD, and I just went back to their site, and it's 30/day without gear rental with their promo going on or 125 for a 10 visit pass. Gear is 20 for a package or individually priced, 80 for the 10 day (some things excluded are rope and lockers in the deals but those are less than $5). So in theory, it's dropped down significantly for their promo right now which I might try since it's half the price total.

Monthly is 70 without gear, 700 annually. Last time I looked at things it was around Christmas time, so possible they bumped prices for the season, but no idea.

I'm also curious, what currency? Dollars euros or pound would all be ludicrous, even Canadian or Australian dollars.

Just replied a minute ago with prices, it's USD, they got promos going right now so I might do it.

Even if you're not dedicated/consistent it's still good though! Don't not do it because you can't devote regular time or enough time to it. Any exercise > no exercise

When I exercise: I tend to drink more water, I tend to eat better, I tend to get better sleep, and I tend to feel better about myself. The only downside is that it takes some time out of my day.

I have found that I am more efficient throughout the day when I exercise, so it might not be so much time "lost" with exercise.

Reddit generally loves this as an answer to every other problem. Good call.

Well it does help like every other problem

If every other problem is being overweight, sure.

Depression, chronic pain, (sometimes) athsma, mobility issues, weak or low density bones, and that's from regular exercise alone, coupled with the fact that people tend to drink more water and eat healthier it can also solve chronic dehydration, prevent heart problems, increase metabolism which has a myriad of benefits, diabetes (prevented or treated), and lowers heart rate.

It is the closest thing to a miracle cure that works more than it doesn't.

It also helps in social issues. You gain confidence, sex appeal, you might have that translate to career success or find someone to love, etc.

It's a hell of a lot easier to pick up somebody at a dance/yoga/fitness class than a rando at the bar.

What if you hate exercising though?Like reeeeeally hate it. Like, makes you feel seriously emotionally frustrated and miserable when you do it.

Everyone says "just do it anyway you'll like it" but i have serious issues with even getting myself to so shit I actually NEED to do, let alone something that makes me feel bad, and then when I try to find somebody to vent to about how much i dont enjoy it it, I just get told "nah you actually secretly like it because it generates happy chemicals, so shut up your emotions aren't valid."

I already feel bad all the time and I dont wanna feel even worse.

You just depressed, man. It makes you not do anything. Hmu, if you wanna let it out

Seconding this, have you considered therapy or possibly medication? You don't deserve to be miserable all the time!

Finding a theralist has been a massive mess, but im trying I guess.

I haven't been putting enough effort into getting myself out of this, so it really feels like I do deserve it.

You're being too hard on yourself, dear internet stranger. Finding a therapist is hard, finding the right one for you is harder and all of this is even harder when your neurotransmitters are conspiring against you.

Take the little success as they come and be gentle with yourself. You typed out your OP and this reply- put that in the win column! Maybe tomorrow you think about what kind of therapy would jive with you, maybe next week you're googling to see who accepts your insurance. I believe in you and YOU DO DESERVE HAPPINESS! <3

I used to feel the same way, just the thought of going to the gym would ruin my day and I refused to do it. I just started focusing on how it made me feel, not on the actual exercises, or how hard it was or how tired it would make me. I don't stick to a certain routine or regimen, I just go to the gym and do whatever I feel like doing. If I REALLY don't want to go that day, then I don't go. But afterwards I always feel great, and when I work out consistently, I feel great consistently. I keep that in my head as my goal and it helps me re-conceptualize what going to the gym is for me. Now, whenever I'm irritated or sad, I crave the gym because I can let out all my frustration on the stairmaster or something. Also, you don't have to have a giant routine right away. For the first week or two just go walk on the treadmill for like 20 minutes and then go home. It gets your body used to going without hating it.

Try to let go of those feelings. I find myself to be frustrated too sometimes when exercising (which is usually just walking for 20-30 min at a good pace). Usually I'll be walking too fast and trying to rush to get it over with. Then when I am aware of it I try to take a step back, realize it doesn't need to be rushed, calm down, enter a more relaxed state, and finish the walk. Works most of the time.

Also,it helps a lot when you have something to think about so you can zone out.

How exactly does one just "enter" a relaxed state? I havent been relaxed for at least 4 years, i fucking WISH i could just chill out on command.

I have ADHD, so I always have something to think about. When im doing something i hate doing I usually think about how much i hate it, how bad my life is, any number of the other 20 things I should be doing at any given moment, etc etc.

Eventually i get overwhelemed and stop, then i lie in bed angry at myself for fucking something up again.

I have ADHD, so I always have something to think about. When im doing something i hate doing I usually think about how much i hate it, how bad my life is, any number of the other 20 things I should be doing at any given moment, etc etc.

Not what I mean. I have ADHD too. Think about a tv show you're watching or a book you're reading, game you're playing, etc.

How exactly does one just "enter" a relaxed state? I havent been relaxed for at least 4 years, i fucking WISH i could just chill out on command.

Focus on your breathing until it works. Don't control it, just listen to it.

I have wicked ADD (not ADHD). Lift with someone experienced (not just someone who happens to go to the gym, I mean someone who really knows lifting). Have them teach you correct lifting. Focusing on the actual technique means you're less likely to focus on other things.

I'm at the gym almost daily and typically for 2 hours each time. I just listen to music, zone out, and focus on the lifts. If you actually put in work it gets the blood and endorphines going and might help you clear your head a little. If you're exercising then you'll be making a positive step in life and that'd be something to keep in mind so you can say "life might not be perfect but at least I'm doing something to improve it".

But either way, you should look at talking to a doctor because likely something is off and you shouldn't just let it go (unless you absolutely can't afford it).

I uh, don't have any friends. So I don't have anyone to teach me how to lift.

Tbh if I had somebody to go to the gym with I'd probably be much more willing to do it since I'd have somebody to talk to.

Not sure where you live but if you're in or near enough to a bigger sized city you should be able to find more of a bodybuilder type gym. Most decent sized gyms will have personal trainers but a bodybuilder type gym will typically have trainers who really know how to push people hard to get the most benefit. That and contrary to what many people think, lots of guys who are built are genuinely happy to help those who aren't as experienced. A gym like that would have guys around all the time who could answer questions even if your trainer isn't there.

Im out in the middle of nowhere.

My Uni's small town is like an island surrounded by corn. We have a gym on campus, but my social anxiety has gotten the best of me every time I've tried going and I've just ended up turning around at the front door.

That being the case, I'd say just watch videos on Youtube. Jeff Nippard and Athlean-X approach lifting from a scientific perspective so those are the channels I'd suggest. I never had a personal trainer and I got pretty big on my own, just through studying on my own. It's definitely possible.

Study up, watch videos, and hit the gym. Just put on some music and ignore everyone around you. Nobody is there to pay attention to what you're doing, most other people are too focused on working out or chatting to someone.

I played videogames a lot growing up. Like, 8 hrs a day on average since the age of 10 (until 21). It was an obsession. Now I average maybe one hour every few months (I'm 23). What I do do now is work out a good 8-12 hours a week.

I kind of justified it as a character building experience. All those hours grinding and making those fucking iron daggers and enchanting them with banish daedra? Turned into hours at the gym instead. Transmute that bitch. Increase my deadlift level. Get my squat stats up. Bench XP. The shorter I can hit a 5k run, the better. Gamer mentality is grinding and consistency. That is literally what the gym is. Except instead of that dopamine release I get from unlocking a new gun in BF1, or whatever, I get to look at my physique change and my fitness level only increase!

If you can find a balance, do both. If you're shit with time and kind of sink everything into one, cut the games and pick-up barbells.

Thank you for reading my blogpost.

Yeah. I can relate to that, I also did something similar when I was younger.

Gamers benefit so much from proper workouts. We've been bent over looking at screens for so long and we're addicted to leveling up.

Well, workouts take care of your posture, make you look and feel better and you're constantly making progress in different "stats".

My wife is addicted to the gym but I hate it. So I run around my pool. purchased a thread-mill and exercise bike for the bedroom, and some weights. I do sit ups and push ups at home. I'm not muscular but at least I do something. I especially like watching series while on the walker. I time my sessions in consequences (half episode, full episode etc)

You should start by going once a week for 2 months or so, then make it twice a week and eventually move to 3 times a week. 3 times per week is enough to make some good gains if you follow a good routine and watch your food intake.

I’m starting today! Age 34, and my body has been through a LOT (Guillain Barre Syndrome 2 years ago and I’ve had 4 babies). I’ve got my first pair of running shoes since high school! :)

/r/bodyweightfitness is a good place to go for your not-so-strenuous muscle building routines. My wife has had core stability issues since our kids came. Bodyweight fitness often focuses on strong core stability. Think "how do I keep my core from flexing" rather than things like crunches.

You're training your body to keep your spine healthy, not training it to just flex forward.

Good luck!

Went to a fitness studio for the first time on Saturday. I can't stress enough how good it feels both physically and mentally. Having finally beaten my laziness is a big deal to me and even though parts of my body still hurt I can't wait to go again.

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

Actually you don't even need to be dedicated or consistent either! Every little bit really does contribute to better health, even random exercise.

What about wanking, tho

Some researchers believe that helps health, though probably not as exercise.

Came here to say this

Thank God you still found a way to have a meaningful contribution!

The comment shows that I agree with it and that in fact, it was my first thought as well. I appreciate when someone agrees with me to a level they want to point it out.

Why be so sarcastic? Like was it really necessary?

Why be so defensive for someone elses comment? I'd say that's a just healthy dose of sarcasm right there, seeing how utterly useless the parent comment was 👌

Why do you think it's sarcasm? There's no /s, maybe u/easypeaseee is just a positive person

Thank you for letting us know, this thread wouldn’t be what it is without your input!

Came here to say this

There’s a little button you can push with an upward facing arrow instead of typing out a response.

It helps to find an exercise you really enjoy. Weightlifting, (snatches and cleans/jerks), is so much more fun than running on a treadmill. Kettlebells were more fun than using weight machines at a gym. Enjoying an exercise helps tremendously.

Even better when it becomes a hobby. Fencing can be an exercise and a hobby.

I was never consistent with it because I would set too high of expectations on myself and feel bad for not doing an Instagram worthy workout. A simple hour long walk around my neighborhood is sufficient for me and makes me happy.

Especially if you do it in a group.

Joining a Kung Fu class really helped make exercise fun. Before that, I was more like "Yes, I would love to have exercised, but I don't want to actually do it" but when you're in a group learning cool stuff that's physical, it becomes "Yes, I want to actually learn Kung Fu."

This. When you really get in the groove it will make you think consciously about getting good sleep and drinking more water. Which are two of the other top answers.

Not to mention how feeling good about how you look drastically improves your mental wellbeing.

90 days will make it a habit! stay focused and just go

And even if you're not that dedicated, doing it casually but over time will still yield gains. Most people tend to feel the "high" afterwards, or notice positive physical changes that motivate them to keep doing it. It's also a great motivator in terms of dietary improvements (e.g. more fruit and veg, less alcohol), and plants the seed of interest for physical activity.

Exercise is like a psychological catalyst for a lot of ways to improve a life.

I’ve been trying to rewatch a favorite show and the only time I can watch it is while I’m on the treadmill or elliptical

Reading this Oatmeal comic really helped me understand it. I'm still struggling but I'm not giving up.

It also helps to have an some kind of a program made by someone other than yourself. Especially if you don’t know very much about working out, it can be tough to continue going to the gym if you’re just showing up and doing random stuff every time. Find a program that has some kind of progression, it will give you structure so you just have to show up and do what’s on the program for the day and get out. Less mental stress when all you have to do is carry out what’s written instead of the constant self doubt of “am I even doing this right?”

The easiest way to make it a habit is to find a type of exercise you enjoy. For me it's just walking around in my neighborhood, because I live in a city and I love walking around in cities. For someone else it might be hiking or cycling or rock climbing or playing a competitive sport.

Point is, don't just go hop on a treadmill like it's a dreaded duty, instead make it the most-anticipated part of your day, and it will be vastly easy to make it part of your routine and keep it going long term.

Also, if you say you don’t have time, I have to go Saturday and Sunday pretty early in the morning or I can’t go. It fucking sucks but it also keeps me from fucking up my sleep schedule on the weekends so I guess it’s a good thing? Ugh.

Even better if you do it outside.

Not just exercise, but eatting healthy. If you're trying to lose weight, your food intake can also affect it. If you're trying to be healthy, eatting food that's healthy will help. So exercise and eatting healthy go hand in hand.

I can attest to this, I recently injured my knee (making it hard to exercise) and the lack of exercise has had a very negative impact on my mood. Even just being able to walk around at work makes a big difference.

/r/getdisciplined (edited)

Weird that all my life I keep thinking I struggle with motivation. Turns out it was never about motivation at all. Needed that sub to teach me that. Wish I reddit more when I was young lol

Isn’t it r/getdisciplined ? r/getdiscipled sounds like a sub for people trying to start a religion.

i find it helps to remember that even a little bit of exercise is better than none at all so even if it's just a few push ups and sit ups it's better than just sitting there

Any advice on how to keep it up? I can usually make myself start to exercise but keeping it consistent and often is something I can never seem to manage for long.

From someone who hadn’t exercised in 10+ years. I started doing 30 minutes on the elliptical machine 3 times a week. It’s not much but holy shit you can feel the benefits. Physically the body just gets so much more relaxed, it’s like there was this tension there you didn’t realize but was building up in the form of anxiety. Just a little exercise elevated that significantly. Mentally it’s even better, your body gets that chemical high and it seriously alleviates depression.

Growing up I was always in shape and exercising so didn’t realize that benefit. After a 10 yr hiatus I was shocked at how much even a little bit of exercise can make you feel happy. With this pc sit at the desk work culture we have going on it’s no wonder anxiety and depression is skyrocketing.

Cardio increases blood flow to the brain and helps with mental health too.

This should be number one. Improves your quality of life so much.

I've been addicted to exercise since my late teens. It feels so damn good to run or bike after being cooped up somewhere all day.

I remember hating exercise when I was a lazy kid, but now that kind of thinking seems so alien.

It does feel good. I've started going to the gym 3 times a week. Mostly cardio since IDK wtf I am doing with the weight machines lol.

I agree with this, but also, find a sort of exercise that you enjoy. I used to go for runs for well over a year and hated them so god damn much. All I would think of is the end and how long they took out of my day. I got into rock climbing a few months ago and I love it. The time flies and I have no sense of lost time because I enjoy it and feel productive. Exercise is good, but there's a lot of different ways to achieve it. Make sure you find your niche of exercise that you find the most joy in.

Yeah, running really helps me not just physically, but mentally. It’s a godsend for me.

Very true about consistency. I just came back from a weeklong business trip where I had very little time to work out. Getting up this morning and getting back into the routine was so hard but I’m already so glad I did.

Seriously. Just a half hour of doing SOMETHING every morning will have you looking and feeling so much better.

and consistent with it

Exactly. I exercise with the same willingness and consistency that I go to work with. Meaning, no willingness but utmost consistency.

That's not as simple as it sounds. If it was, more people would do it.

A good way to start doing this is by doing something that you can easily do. Cycle for 20 minutes, then lift some easy weights for another 20, and then do something you'd like to do in the gym for another 20 minutes.

You might feel like you're cheating, because you can easily do it, but if you can do it, you can easily do it again. You're still exercising and creating the habit of exercising because much easier if you don't challenge yourself to the maximum. You're already challenging yourself by going.

After a while you'll notice you want to increase the weights, cycle at a quicker speed or more resistance, or whatever.

I always like this in theory and working out usually makes me feel better but a little too hyperactive at night later, even when done early in the morning. Nearly every time I do anything (mostly do cardio like the treadmill) I'm completely wired and get absolutely no sleep that night. Which leaves me exhausted for the next few days.

I think the top message above was "get sleep regularly" above. And while that sounds so easy, it's been incredibly difficult for me to do consistently over time and I'm at my actual wit's end. (While sleep's importance isn't fully understood, (what is?) pretty sure lack of it kills brain cells.)

Yes this is a great idea. I have recently tried to get to doing 100 push ups everyday and it not only boosted my self esteem but I also feel more refreshed.

Key is to start small, then doing more and more. I sued to not give a shit about my health and I felt like shit everyday (woah no way lmao). I started with doing 20 pushups a day now do ~200. I also spend more time walking my dog than just making sure he gets his business done. I feel like I have so much more energy and I can just think clearer.

Similarly, take the stairs whenever possible. It may not seem like much, but every little bit helps. I work on the 4th floor of my building and I take the stairs 99% of the time. At a minimum I do the stairs up and down twice a day.

OP said a simple thing

I cannot go two days without walking at least a few km.

Yep. Make an hour long home workout. Pushups, pull-ups, planks, squats, lunges, etc.

Then find an hour long show you want to binge watch. Only watch it when you work out. Worked for my TV addicted spouse and I.

I am shocked to find that I actually enjoy yoga after doing a beginner set of videos on Youtube. All the stuff about it being stress-relieving and how it will make you feel better, which I always blew off, is actually true.

Make exercise fun! Go play basket ball or chase pidgins so it doesn’t feel like exercise

Exercise is not a "simple" thing. It's a huge thing.

May as well ask this here, I go to the gym M-F for at least an hour a week. Has honestly had minimal effect on my mood/energy level. Am I doing something wrong? I typically eat clean those days too.

If you play video games and you can afford an elliptical, buy one and play while you are on there. Ideally something like Dark Souls where you have to stay really dialed in and time flies by. Plus, I wake up easier since I always look forward to my heaps of deaths to kick off my day on a positive note!

While I do have my own motivations to work out and do workout every now and then I just need the discipline to keep it up consistently

OP said simple. So do simple exercises. Like walking or everyday tasks like cleaning the room or house etc

I'm a 17 year old who weights around 95kg (1.75m tall) and I want to start working towards my "ideal weight" of around 75-80kg. I've never done any "real" workout or exercise before, but recently I have started walking ~1h a day for transportation and I'm little by little eating better. What are some "proper" exercise that I could do, provided that space at home is super limited and don't have any equipment there? Thanks!

Can confirm.

Started going to the gym last week. Thar be dopamine in those lifts.

Not a simple thing though.

I mean, yes, moving your body is simple, but being regular and efficient about it is something I can just never seem to achieve. I try and I try and I try, I run, I get workout apps, I do 30 day Yoga challenges, and it goes great for 2 weeks, sometimes 3, then I completely stop. Time and time again.

So I wouldn't call it simple personally.

Also, if you have a tendency to overeat, try eating less. Exercise is great for you, but if you're depressed or fatigued or just don't have any time, it's not always a realistic thing just to jump into. Eating less takes literally less time than eating more, and it can actually make you feel a lot more energetic.

(Note: I say this as a fat dude myself, so I'm not trying to dis fat people. This isn't always as easy as it sounds, but the result is nice.)

"It's gets easier, but you gotta do it every day, that's the hard part. But it does get easier."

This has worked for me. I fucking adore food, and loathe exercise, but I do enjoy riding my mountain bike. So I forced myself to cycle to work. It wasn’t terribly hard to force myself, what with the cost of petrol, but I stuck with it even when the weather was shit. Two years later, I’m faster than ever and 25kg lighter.

In fact, I’ve removed the two smaller chainrings on my bike so I can blast everywhere in the harder gears with a decent chain line. Two years ago I could barely get the damn thing moving beyond walking pace, let alone go everywhere in the hardest gears.

It’s starting to pay dividends, especially now it’s spring and it’s starting to warm up.

Why do people like exercising? It's always a hastle for me, I'm not heavy or anything either, perfectly capable. Just any time I work out or run I just don't get joy from it and then when I'm sore later I dislike it even more. Am I missing something?

If you need something simple and effective to start with, try doing three sets of hamstring stretches first thing when you wake up in the morning. Just sit on your ass and try to reach past your toes; left, right, left, right, left, right, done.

I know, it seems so basic that it sounds kinda asinine, but your hamstrings are incredibly important. They're an integral part of the muscle, ligament and nerve structure that runs from the top-back of your neck, down your spine, around your ass, all the way down to the tips of your toes. A simple problem in one spot, like a tight muscle in your leg, can cause a major issue elsewhere, like a pinched nerve in your neck.

I myself started having severe, debilitating back and leg pain (sciatica) awhile ago that turned out to be directly related to overworked leg muscles and a really tight piriformis. The only thing that helped reduce and eventually eliminate the constant pain (other than huge doses of ibuprofen) was to regularly stretch out my legs and try to loosen them up for the first time since high-school track. Saved my life. Two years later and I'm at 100%. Still doing the stretches.

It can, I personally got no emotional or mental benefit from it, but know many who do

I just got into climbing and now go to my local climbing gym 3 times a week minimum. It doesn’t even feel like exercise. Yes you get tired but it’s really fun and not repetitive like weight lifting. Feel fine leaving the gym then next day you feel how intense of a workout it was

Also can help to not look at it as exercise. I decided I'd go for a leisurely stroll everyday for as long as I like, to get some sunshine and explore my neighborhood. Still counts as exercise, but suddenly I don't dread it anymore.

what does silver do? i've only heard of gold.

It's just like gold, it shows someone's appreciation, silver's just cheaper than gold

Ah OK. But gold gives you some special perks on the site. Does silver as well?

Nah, it's pretty useless

Consciously try to make someone else's day better. It will almost always make you feel better too.

[deleted]

That's so nice. It's great when you finally find out what someone values about themselves and then when you occasionally compliment it you can see them receive it well.

You're a saint!

I do this too. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

That's awesome! Comparatively, this is nothing, but I always like to give away my "freebies." Like when I get 10 stamps on my stamp card at a coffee shop, I'll just use my stamp card to pay for the person behind me in line. It's not much, but a little bit can go a long way. Someone did it for me once and it made my whole day.

Same. Friday’s are usually my drive thru coffee day and I always pay for the car behind me.

Compliments are major now?

If you don’t normally receive them, they are!

even something small like complimenting someone

This is so written in “reddit”

My old scout leader used to say, "it is really hard to be mad at a man while you shine his shoes."

Charity goes the distance.

What does it mean -

"it is really hard to be mad at a man while you shine his shoes."

Birthday fighter hit the nail on the head however to elaborate, if you do something for someone out of genuine kindness and expect nothing in return how could you possibly feel contempt for that person whilst performing that act of charity.

I wish this were true. I had a shitty day and thought, let's get donuts for the office. Nobody gave a fuck. Just made me resent them all and regret being nice at all.

Kindness is not a panacea without gratitude.

You are a good person. I would like to have a donut with you.

Your coworkers suck

Yeah unfortunately you have to run with a halfway decent crowd for this to work and legit most people are so absorbed in themselves they dont even notice

That's just bad luck then. The coworkers at my last two jobs were all very friendly and nice. I bring donuts about once a month and everyone is always appreciative.

Expectations of other people reactions are the seed of resentment. Your not responsible for how the other person responds. If you can do a kindness and have that have meaning for you without gratitude or praise, that is a good place to start. It’s always nice when people respond positively. This is really tough to do and something I’m continually working on.

All you can do is keep trying. Kindness only pays consistent rewards when you do it expecting nothing. In other words, the above advice is incomplete in that you need to get to the point where the act of kindness isn't for your chance at happiness but someone else's.

I learned a new word because of you. Thank you.

We shouldn't expect gratitude from people for the kindness that is done. Yeah it would be nice but if I do something nice I'm not doing it to hear how nice I am from people.

That's great that you feel that way, but if your reward for charitable acts is -no measurable difference-, then what motivates you to do good with no feedback?

Smile of a child, life saved: feedback MATTERS.

Tricky advice imo, delves dangerously close to people pleaser territory.

It's fine to do this, but watch that you don't focus too much on others

I think it heavily depends on the types of favors as well as the attitude of those being helped. Some people are too abusive and will always take advantage of the kindness of others.

Always excellent advice for sure. Often this requires leaving the house though. Hope my dog counts I guess

This is an awesome thing to do but be careful that you don't kill yourself trying to make others happy. I know this first hand and sometimes when you drag yourself trying to make every person you know happy it starts wearing on you. So make sure while doing this u still focus your health at the same time. Cause u cant be helping others if u cant help yourself.

I see what you are saying but making someone’s day better doesn’t have to mean taking away from yourself. Sometimes it just means letting a car in front when merging or telling someone they have nice shoes. Little to no effort on your part but meaningful for the other person. I used to get caught in the people pleaser trap too but now I look hard at my motivations for doing things. If it’s so someone will like me then that is the wrong reason. If it’s to make someone smile for a moment or to return a favor or because I see someone needs real help and it isn’t inconvenient for me or shows my kids how to be a good neighbor then it is a good reason.

I like the mindset of giver/taker over giver/giver. If you only ever give and never take something for yourself once in a while you’ll never find happiness. But when you give to others and remember to reward yourself every now and then I personally find myself to be in a much better place.

My favourite is buying the next guy in the drive through line's coffee. It's just a dollar or two,but the one time someone did that for me (coffee and a bagel, actually) it make me unreasonably happy for the rest of the day.

Consistently give people silver and gold on reddit.

That's all fun and games until your job as a teacher is to do this every waking moment of your working life. Then that part of your life starts to drain you.

I'm an elementary school teacher!

Here’s my contribution: be concerned that a stranger giving you silver triggered your dopamine.

My favorite one!

That's why I often follow my favorite stripper to her house so I can leave an extra dollar in her mail. Bet it makes her day!

100% this. I always feel better doing stuff for others. Im very quick you volunteer to help people

I love this one. My goal every day is to get a laugh out of someone unsuspecting. Usually it's someone running a till. I get a lot of enjoyment from saying something odd (and hopefully humorous) and watching them snap out of their routine for a second or two.

don't get lost in the sauce tho!

It will! This is actual brain science, helping others releases dopamine the feel good chemical. Helping others lengthens lifespan, lowers blood pressure and heart rate, and a whole bunch of other good things.

Serious question, I think about this a lot.

I never actively look to help others and when I think about doing it it doesn’t feel genuine, You know? I really want to be a better person, but be honest about it too. Is actively trying to do this okay?

This has been part of my transition from being a very angry person. If I'm feeling angry about something, I try to think, ok, what's something I can do to help someone? Or what's something really nice I can think about right now? It really works - sometimes it's a struggle, but, worth it, and all.

Bonus, I usually think of the "myself of tomorrow" as a different person anyway. It's odd, but for me it's easier to help a different person than myself.

I tried this but then realised that not only do some people not appreciate it, others threw it back in my face because they assumed I was only being nice to them because I had "other intentions". This is why I have so few friends now

Edit: First Silver!? Neat! Thanks!

Someone took your advice!

I had a colleague many years ago who would ask, daily, "What can I do to make you more successful today?", and he would help if he could.

He was a genuinely great guy.

also don't be taken back if they are not appreciative because the whole point is giving kindness, and that's it whether they react or not should not be a big deal. For example you give a homeless guy some coffee and he looks mad and walks away. The whole point was to genuinely want to help in any way and you did just that so don't get deterred and think "man I'm never helping again".

Don't forget your gold you son of a nice lady!

I live for this. xx

"Be kind whenever possible, it is always possible"-Dali Lama

WHOLE-HEARTEDLY AGREE! Visit your friends / family in the hospital. Send birthday cards. Bring someone coffee or tea. Tiny things that make a HUGE difference in people's lives, and these things radiate back into your own life, shine your spirit, and make you stand a little taller.

Summary of comments:

Being polite and small gestures go a long way, but don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

Too true. Spent a considerable amount on dinner tonight as a present for my dads birthday, more than I’d usually spend, even on a nice night for myself and girlfriend (unless a birthday present.) He was so grateful, we have a memory for life and the food was incredible.

Try at least one new thing every week.

It's all fun and games until week 362 when you get pegged.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but I already get pegged.

In that case you'll be spending week 362 making Queen memorabilia to sell on Etsy.

What if you get pegged by the Queen memrobealia?

Top 10 Mysteries Science Still Cant Explain.

Then you have achieved nirvana.

What if the Queen pegs your memorabilia?

As a citizen of the commonwealth, I just came

Then you write a Chuck Tingle book

Pounded in the Butt by my Own Handmade Queen Memorabilia, a new hit romance from Chuck Tingle.

Week 363 the cure for aids

I don’t know how to feel about this being a die hard Queen fan lmao (practically I get pegged everyday by the thought of em so I think I’m getting PTSD)

[deleted]

I’m totally Jeremy and you should ask me about this IRL.

But....wut...

I googled this and OH SWEET JESUS

^^^but ^^^now ^^^I ^^^kinda ^^^want ^^^to ^^^have ^^^a ^^^lil ^^^chat ^^^with ^^^the ^^^wifey

honey if you're that shocked by finding out what pegging is, maybe the internet's not the place for you

but honey now he wants to find out more

AWAKEN, AWAKEN!

TAKE THE LAND THAT MUST BE TAKEN!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awT8FFHKikc

I want this to be sung in the background of the Cribbage porn that could be made. Two women with a deck of cards and strap-ons and a bunch of dudes in a half circle with their butts in the air....

Don't worry, he'll fit right in like a square peg in a round hole.

a little r/gatekeeping vibe here

just a friendly warning, shit gets dark out here

You know superscript but not what pegging is? That just doesn’t add up to me.

I'm much more of a person who needs to click "formatting help" than one who had internet before I was married.

Prostate massage is a wonderful thing.

Now remember, nobody tell this kid about sounding.

Sounds like fun and games to me. Maybe you are doing it wrong.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

what the fuck is with reddit and pearl clutching over pegging. the joke doesn’t even work because it’s not taboo or shocking unless you’re some kinda puritan

bc reddit is full of fragile straight boys who think getting pegged is gayyyy

Gay or straight, getting your g-spot played with should be something you can enjoy

you're preaching to the choir; try telling the rest of this site that though

Correct, then it's a party.

Jesus, I'm not waiting 7 years for a good pegging!

s/until/including/

/r/suspiciouslyspecific

They said try something NEW

Spoken like someone who's never had a prostate orgasm

That was week 1

Don’t knock it til you try it.

Deadpool? Is that you?

I'm on week 2,463. Things got weird. Then boring again.

Feel like a solipsist motherfucker but I wonder if this has something to do with a recent post of mine. In which case I know there are other things to do on a Monday on the internet, if this is your cue to get me to stop commenting on this thread. And I know it was probably a dumb post but again for whatever reason way too many people casually talked about pegging for a while there. Bye now people.

I actually saw your original comment, and it's the first time I'd ever seen pegging talked about so openly and freely, so you might be right... As long as we ignore the bit where pegging was mentioned in the Bible as a fun family activity

Just do that first. Always get the hard stuff over with first

Week 362 is almost year 7. I think you can work you've way down by then.

Pegged ha, 363 is worse it's time for sounding

Thank you! I was having a shitty day and this made me smile after everything.

I support this.

​

It doesnt have to be weekly, but doing new things makes your life feel long and memorable among other benefits.

It's also worth mentioning that the earlier you do this the less regrets you'll have once you get older, by then you'll just feel fullfilled, the more you learned the better you'll feel.

And the small things learned can already be a lot. I usually never watch Speed runs because they often use bugs and stuff, but last week I accidentally watched a record speed run of a strategy game campaign that I have played & completed countless times in my life before.

He did almost NOTHING the way I ever did it, I often enough found out why and it made me seriously happy.

I only get to see my best friend once a week, we’ve made it a point we have to do something new every time. We’ve tried a new tattoo shop, loved it. We go to new restaurants, order new drinks at bars, listen to new songs, etc. But it’s a good way to broaden your choices and experiences.

I think that having new experiences regularly helps to combat the accelerating of time that everyone feels as they age. Weeks, months, and years can fly by when you do the same routine through all of it. Everyone’s got routine, but punctuate it with new things as much as possible!

I came to say the same thing but you beat me to it. I saw a post on reddit not long ago about this same thing. I've tried to change things up and add new things in my routine for the days I work. Just that little extra bit goes a long way. Also on my days off I'll try something I never wanted to or don't actively want to do. Social anxiety is a bitch but forcing myself into uncomfortable situations, to me, has been the bulk of my "new things."

I just started a brand new career after working in a completely different field for 8 years. After doing the same thing day after day and having the years fly by, the last month felt like a year in itself because it was full of brand new experiences.

how do you come up with shit to try?

Just try find classes for things near you. Yoga, meditation... All that jazz, gym classes, new films at the cinema, art class and then rinse and repeat in a nearby town/city.

At least that's my plan, it's just much harder without finance and companionship. Yet not impossible. And you'll probably have a ball anyway.

It could be as simple as getting something different when you go out to eat. Or trying the new coffee special.

I feel like I'd run out of money very quickly, finding and picking up new hobbies for anything I slightly enjoy

I make myself monthly goals for X number of new books, movies, music albums, restaurants, making recipes, and various other goals related to my hobbies. I track them through spreadsheets. Its really rewarding to get to the end of the month and see how many cool new things i pushed myself to complete or try out.

What rows and columns do you have on your spreadsheet?

Separate tabs to keep track of each hobby (like the title of a book i read, the author, and when i finished it), and one main tab with my goal for each month and how far along i am. Nothing too complicated.

At the start of the month i set my goals to be realistic but still push me to accomplish a lot, and it really forces me to budget my free time better to do the things i want to do.

Is there a sub that recommends these?

I do this, I call it something new Saturday. Every Saturday my girlfriend and I try something new. Sometimes it’s as small as trying a new place to eat. Sometimes it’s as adventurous as hang gliding. But always something!

You know I tried this, but I think I realized a better version for myself.

Just do something every week. Your definition of something might change from mine, but one week I tried Snowboarding and had a lot of fun. So I did that as my thing for the last 6 weeks of this season, now I gotta find a new thing. But just keep doing something different than you normally do, it can be the same thing for a while and there's nothing wrong with that.

Hm, Cocaine or Meth first?

I know it’s cliche, but you get what you pay for. Always go with the most expensive in it’s class.

Dance, sing, jump in front of a moving car.

This is what I try to do with my kid. We're going through a lot right now (I left her abusive father and am trying to get a job and place of my own) and I'm trying my best to make sure she has new and fun experiences (along with validating her feelings and whatnot). I figure it helps her brain out and mine.

How do you come up with things to do?

Let's just say I should probably have stock in Target solely for their bullseye section lol.

Sometimes it's use a new cooking technique, recipe, or ingredient. Sometimes it's going to a different library or playground (also libraries in my state have amazing events for kids and adults). My child's age helps. Home Depot and Michaels both have events for kids for free or low cost. Park systems have cool programs and events for both kids and adults too. Sometimes it's just, this craft technique or item looks cool, let's try that. Sometimes it's going to the Dollar Store and coming up with activities or ideas there. Last time I went, they even had kites!

Are there things that interest you? Things you want to learn how to do? Have you checked out what your local library or park systems offer?

There should be a separate thread about all the new things you could try every week

There is an app called Level Up Life which gives you incentives to work on your life. It's a pretty cool app!

I’ve heard about that! It sounds interesting, I might have to try it!

Try it out! It's a really good concept

Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.

That sounds good in theory, but I have only one anus/rectum, so I'll be running out of ideas pretty quick.

Instructions unclear. Now addicted to heroin.

Stop drinking soda.

r/waterniggas

This netflix avatar remake is taking some liberties.

I hate soda

Its been 3 years since I had my last soda

Agreed. Soda has no redeeming attributes.

Edit: old study, many others, but makes the point. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1829363/

It's tasty

Matter of opinion, and it’s incredibly unhealthy.

I actually saw a study funded by The Coca-Cola Company and it said soda can make you more sexually potent

Amazing! I’m sure that study is 100% unbiased and completely reliable!

You're very perceptive.

personally i like the carbonation. drinks like perrier and tonic water never really cut it for me, unless mixed with juice.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1829363/

i’m not saying i drink it all the time, i don’t. I’m just sharing my appeal with you, as you mentioned you didn’t understand why anyone would like it. Things like candy are bad for our bodies too — but many people eat it without thinking just as they do with pop/soda.

I think you’re trying to say that, in moderation, nothing is a big deal, even stuff that is just pleasurable with no redeeming qualities. And I agree with you, but that doesn’t give the thing in question redeeming qualities, it just means that in small quantities nothing can do that much damage so the pleasure outweighs the damage,

You’re right that I have a particular distaste for soda because I don’t like it, but I’d say the same thing about things I do like. I guess I don’t think the fact that I like something makes a difference in its overall value; unfortunately I like all sort of things that aren’t good for me.

[deleted]

Never have I read such an unnecessary paragraph in my life. Just say you don’t drink soda and get over with it ffs

now I want to know what it said... you scared them away :(

Eat more vegetables.

Also eat more legumes. They are cheap, healthy, good for the environment and versatile.

Eh… aren't légumes vegetables?

Actually you might be right. : ) But legumes are extra neglected, at least in germany for example.

Legumes are vegetables, but they stand in their own space as kind of super foods, since they are nutritionally dense, especially with certain proteins we would typically need to get from meat.

Légume, with the accent, is French for vegetable, if that's what you mean.

Roasted veggies #1

underrated comment here

I eat only vegetables, grains, and fruits!

WHAT ABOUT NUTS? YOU CAN'T FORGO THE NUTS YOU FOOL

Ah yes! Nuts, legumes, and roots! My bad

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

So you’re vegan? Opinion discarded

Best thing I seem to be doing for myself is transitioning to full carnivore. Can’t seem to give up the onions yet though, sautéed onions are one of the universe’s greatest gifts.

Life without onions might not be worth living.

Actually, it's the best thing ever!

I've had to give up onions recently upon discovering I have a pretty bad intolerance to them. I'd been living with low-key intestinal pain for more than two years before I worked out what it was.

Given their near-omnipresence in almost all processed savory foods, this isn't easy. I have to make all my own food most of the time, or at least only buy prepared food that has no sauces, and it does feel slightly anti-social at times. At work, we get these great catered lunches on Fridays that I can no longer participate in.

But - whatever! Giving up onions/garlic has been an absolute revelation for me. My pain is gone. My shit is solid, and it no longer smells 'foul'. I barely fart at all now. And, I don't know whether it's for those reasons or something else, but I have way more energy, I'm far less irritable, I feel kinder all round. Even my performance at sports has improved.

Even better, because I can no longer rely on pre-prepared foods, I have to be a bit more creative in making my own stuff, but I'm finding I'm eating a wider variety of things on account. Also, it's a lot cheaper. Instead of going to a café and buying a $10 sandwich, I go to the supermarket, buy a bread roll and ingredients and so forth and I make what would be a super-gourmet baguette if bought complete for like $3.50.

Then, there's the weird effect that I can really smell onions and garlic far more strongly now, and it smells kinda gross. It's such a pungent food – I bet that to people from cultures that don't eat onions, we're all really smelly here in the west.

Anyhow, I encourage it. I'm also trying to increase how much meat I eat, and I'm finding that meat without sauce is actually a flavor explosion once your tongue regains its sensitivity to taste after years of battering it with oniony evilness.

This was a rollercoaster, onions would literally be the last thing I could give up. After that I’ll be pure carnivore. I’m not ready but I think it’s close. Also, as to the flavor explosion. Once so started dating a grill master my life CHANGED. Meat is so independently delicious.

Week one on carnivore done, feeling better but still having some digestive issues, any tips for a full transition?

I have no tips. My “transition” is being met with much internal resistance. I have yet to be successful. I ate some sweet peas yesterday and felt like my guts were trying to crawl out of me but it was a good experiment. I suspect I will have an easier time if I just commit fully, allow my guts to heal fully before I go trying things but...things are so delicious:/

You should use your left hand to eat more vegetables.

Yep, pile that stuff on your plate. Learn to love a big plate of tasty veg. Your quality of life will improve.

Don't ignore their mental health. It is everything.

EDIT Holy shit. I have been on Reddit for almost10 years and this is my highest rated comment ever. It was more like "I wish I told myself that earlier in life." Thanks for the gold kind strangers. :-) Edit2: thanks for the platinum. Wow!

Totally agree, took me way too long to deal with some of my anxiety issues. Now I look back on all that time I was putting off dealing with it and see it as such a waste.

How’d you deal with them? Lately I’ve been having some issues.

I said this to another poster but maybe this will help you as well:

Here's an awesome thing my therapist told me that solved this problem for me.

Give the negative voice a name in your head and any time you think something negative, tell that name to stop it.

When you associate a name with it, it's no longer you saying it, it's them. We don't typically have a defense mechanism for ourselves against ourselves but we do against external comments.

"But what if external comments are right?" That's the negative voice. You are doing the best you can with what you are dealing with. Every person has their own experience and story.

When you feel like you have to prove yourself, ask yourself: Who are you trying to prove yourself to and why?

Are you actually trying to prove yourself to them... Or to you? Why?

When you get rid of that nasty negative voice in your head and stop trying to prove yourself and instead focus on bettering yourself or doing what gives you drive (for me, it's game development!), You go from trying to keep what you have from leaving and go to appreciating what you have. When you can appreciate what you have, it's easy to find something to smile about.

Also, I have GAD and now take anxiety medicine (Lexapro) and it's been a world of difference because it keeps me out of my head and the constant worry is gone.

Another thing I do is clean slate every day and give compliments when I see things.

For compliments: See something that makes you say in your head: Cool!/nice!/pretty!/etc

Say it out loud to whoever it's related to. The more you do it, the more you realize it's super easy to give compliments and people love them. When they smile, you smile. It makes you both feel better.

As for clean slate every day, basically, I stopped caring what happened the day before and moved on. Did someone upset you yesterday? Maybe they had a really shitty day. Move on, it takes so much energy to hold onto that.

Did something bad happen yesterday to you? There's nothing you can do to undo what happened. Think about the next steps for how to address it instead of lingering on it.

The more you let go of the negative, the more you will see the positives in the day and life.

Sure, repeated incidents from the same person subconsciously get inbedded in you but that means you are judging them based on a one time thing, you are basing them on their actions over time and makes it easier to see people as people living a life and not as people out to get you.

Let me know if you want to talk or want any other advice!

I have some pretty bad depression, and will be incorporating this into my therapy. I wish I could gild you, this is really fucking good advice for self-destructive behavior

When I went to my therapist, she said I was steps ahead of her normal patients because I constantly analyze myself and try to recreate the same events even down to the minute I slept/woke and what/when I ate food in order to make the most consistent records for myself.

Because of this, most of my mental health was understood pretty well but I couldn't get passed the constant self destructive mentality of: I don't deserve anything. I am a failure. I don't want to be alone.

Once I talked with her and worked out the negatives of the voice and started to stop trying to prove myself, I found a trigger word for me: Deserve.

If I said, I deserve- the second I did deserve, my brain would go: No you don't.

When she said: You Deserve- "No you don't"

After talking about it with her, about what I do and don't deserve, I realized it was me trying to earn everything. I never deserved anything, I had to earn everything. Constantly. Every day.

That's not how friendship works. That's not how many things work. If you put in the effort and work.. you -do- deserve it. Your efforts are no less than anyone else.

People try to one-up each other all the time or down play frustration or sadness but honestly, it's all relative. Losing $50 to me is horrible. To someone who makes 5x as me, it's nothing comparatively. What if their son is sick for the day? It's still a frustration or obstacle they have to overcome. It impacts the brain in the same way.

Once I took that in and started to take the day in stride, I realized that life doesn't care if you win or lose. People do.

If you want to talk more, either via comment or private message, I would love to see how I can help.

Thank you, for taking the time to write all of this. Kudos.

I love posting this because lots of people give me positive comments on how helpful it is. :)

It is. Thx a lot

Your comment made me realize this. My therapist did wonders for me but didn't notice this in me or didn't express it. I believe constantly analyzing myself was critical in my progress. Now that I think back, I knew I had this mental health investigation in my mind for a long time and I had a lot of good leads but no real conclusion. I knew I had this spaghetti of misconceptions in my head, and that it was affecting my life. Got my shit together now but damn it's such a weight off my shoulders. I don't even know how I called that living.

Thank you for taking the time to write that. I needed to read that and can relate a lot to what you and your therapist have spoken about.

Let me know if I can help any more than that. I love to talk and help.

Thanks man - I'll shoot you a PM.

I'm feeling so bad about myself today and playing the ol' comparison game. Your insight has helped me a little thanks :)

Let me know if you want to talk!

[deleted]

I'm glad you're giving it a go. Side note, that sounds like a panic attack. Have you ever been told you have panic attacks?

I had a job that was great when I started but after 3 years and them taking away breaks, I started to have up to 5 panic attacks a day and it exhausted me.

After I talked to my mental health doctor, they put me on Lexapro and it was a huge difference. While I don't say just give up and dive into medicine, maybe ask your doctor if that's an option. Most doctors (or psychologists) have a good idea of where you sit if you are open with them and they will help guide you in the way that is most comfortable to you.

[deleted]

Glad I can help! My last job wasn't even hard, it was the constant push, push, push style work with no time to think. I had to use my breaks and lunch to calm down but after they took away the breaks, I couldnt handle it anymore.

I got a new job that I love, my boss tells me I'm doing a great job and he appreciates me. I have managers around the building saying I'm doing awesome.

I do Deskside Support now instead of Helpdesk call center work.

Call Centers are terrible places for people with ADHD/Anxiety.

inbedded

FYI: it's imbedded or embedded (with an m, not n).

Also, TIL that imbedded is correct, I thought embedded was the only correct way to spell it.

Oh, thank you. I am usually good at that but I kind of just rolled with the spelling cause it was a huge wall of text. I'll keep it in mind for the future.

Wait you take lexapro for gad? Not a benzodiazepine (like say Xanax)?

What do you think about SSRIs over all? Do they make you more productive? Do they help or hurt your sleep?

My issue is I never really know what I should be taking. It's a trip and it makes me feel like I'm losing it. And when I go out around town people I don't really know will say things to indicate I'm on certain meds and that they disapprove and it leaves me feeling mindfucked. Like how'd they know that?

And should I be taking this thing or that thing or not? I'm not sure it's not my indecisiveness there that's the real culprit though

SSRIs are a very common treatment for GAD. Benzos are good at treating the “in the moment” panic attacks, but they can be addictive and cause bad side effects if used long-term.

I have GAD as well and take Celexa for it. I was also given Ativan to treat my panic attacks, but once the SSRIs has built up in my system I went from having an average anxiety of 8/10 every day, to 2/10 and I don’t get the panic attacks nearly as often, so I rarely take the benzos anymore.

The Celexa helps my sleep, but some SSRIs like Lexapro can perk you up. It all depends on your individual response, and sometimes changing the dose and time of day you take it can help manage those effects. You shouldn’t be deciding what you should take on your own, but talk with your doctor and be open and honest about your side effects, fears, and goals so he/she can choose a medication that is most likely to get you there. It took me 4 weeks to feel the full effects of my meds and then it was like night and day. It can take some trial and error, but it is worth it in the end.

Also, what you take is no one’s business but you and your doctor (and possibly a SO.) If people are going to judge you for taking care of your mental health, they have no right to know or have an opinion on it, and you have no obligation to tell them about it if that makes you uncomfortable.

Well, my mom has an anxiety disorder as well and she takes Lexapro so they gave me what she takes because they said hereditary medicine usually works.

She said something like Xanax made things worse and made her feel suicidal.

I also have Ativan in case of panic attacks but I haven't had to use it in months.

When I started taking it, I felt sick to my stomach for a week or two then the noise in my head went away. No issues sleeping except with Adderall which is a normal thing. The only issue I have really had at all is mild (and I mean super mild) hallucinating. As in.. I think I see something out of the corner of my eye like a tiny spider, I look and it's just a black speck or nothing.

This happens maybe like...once or twice a week and as soon as I look, it's over.

Keep a journal of how you feel when you do and don't take your medicine and ask friends to watch for any changes in your attitude or actions.

I found I was much calmer when I take my medicine as it gets rid of anxious energy and allows me to react properly to issues instead of not noticing I'm stressed until I'm about to lose it and have a panic attack.

Your doctor would be the best person to talk to about medicine but there is something you can take called Genesight. They take a swab and test medicine against it then they provide you a list of your compatibly with medicines.

I'm 92% compatible with Adderall so I only experience very mild issues like it lasts 10 hours instead of 12.

The test checks for medication for: Depression, anxiety. Ptsd, acute/chronic pain, ADHD, and Folate deficiency then tells you what your compatibly is with each medicine type. Your doctor can find out more and some insurances will actually cover it for free. The most I've seen is $330 but they have coupons I've seen that make it $20 if you make less than $100,000 a year.

It’s crazy how many of these tricks are embedded in the lifestyle of christians. They think it’s god, but in truth they are just having a healthy mindset and believe god is behind the results.

Believing in a god, heaven gives hope and helps focus on the positives. Clearing yourself from sin and saying it is the devil that gave you all those bad thoughts makes you aware of your thoughts, and you banish them with the help of god.

I didn't even think about that til you said that and I was raised Christian.

Interesting.

Yeah.

There are many of these psychological techniques involved in the routine of a christian like these, like repeating that they love god in songs and praying to him enforces his existance.

Knowing the brain is in the dark, in our heads, interpreting what the eyes are seeing, if we are thoroughly convinced something exists and in reality it doesn’t, it still exists in the mind, and I’m not surprised if it can make you experience things that aren’t there. Like random happiness.

Smiling makes you happy. Real hypnotists exist, and the reason they still exist is cause they actually work. But the essential part of hypnotising someone is that the people being hypnotised need to be completely submissive, they need to say all the things the hypnotist says, and truly submit to the words they say, letting them take over.

So yeah. I want to be a christian, but I will only be convinced with my rules, which are that I won’t submit to any phsychological tricks just cause I really want to be in heaven.

This sounds like a recipe for schizophrenia

If you find the voices won't go away or begin to develop further, please consult a doctor for help. I am not a medical professional or a therapist. In my case, this helped me and within about a month (the time it takes to break a habit) I was no longer even hearing/having negative thoughts anymore.

Awful advice. Therapy is best.

Well, I did say my therapist said it and it helped me.

Therapy is great.

My first step was actually admitting to myself that it’s ok to go for help and take medication, basically I kind of always denied it and just played it off with humour.

Ended up getting quite bad at one stage with panic attacks and what not. Was putting strain on my relationship by trying to look to my partner to solve my issues and emotions.

It all got a little much so I finally took my first step of going for CBT therapy. At this point I still didn’t want medication, but after weeks of therapy I took that step as well.

Currently not having any therapy and take one tablet a day which is an anti depressant/anxiety and I’m much better for it.

What is CBT?

Cognitive behavioral therapy

One thing that's helped me recently is to try and reframe how I consider my internal monologue. No one else knows what goes on in your head, especially when you're alone, so there's no productive reason to beat yourself up. If anything, there are productive reasons for expressing compassion to yourself instead. Life is going to beat you up enough already, you don't need to be your own enemy. I know that sounds a little /r/thanksimcured but I think of myself as a logical person so being able to out-reason my anxiety helps me mitigate it.

I've also found that visualizing my feelings externally helps me to address them in a healthy way. I picture sitting at a campfire next to someone who is going through whatever I'm going through, and what they must be feeling. Then I express/feel compassion for that person and think about how strong they must be in order to endure and overcome. Instead of feeling bad that something is hard for you that seems easy for others, give yourself credit for enduring despite the difficulty.

Maybe one or both of those strategies will help, maybe they won't, but it's important to confront what you're feeling in a compassionate and understanding way, and the way you do that can be very different from person to person. Many people live their entire lives without ever doing that sort of introspection, so you can go ahead and give yourself credit already just for identifying your feelings and working towards contentedness.

If you're looking for resources to help you, I recommend Insight Timer as a tool for helping you sit quietly with yourself. I had bounced off meditation multiple times, and still don't do it regularly, but their introduction series was helpful for me in a time of need. Good luck on your journey

I’m curious how you cook your spaghetti?

Well, I hardly know how to boil water. So that’s why it’s hazardous when I try to cook spaghetti.

Right there with you, friend. The answer was right under my nose and I never saw it.

Trying to deal with this. Meds were making me feel no emotion, like I had to go into my car and had to actually try and force myself before I could cry about my dog passing away. Slowly working with people to figure it all out but I just moved and haven't done anything about my anxiety since I got up here...

I found that it was not really productive for me to feel like I've wasted time. Got my shit together now and I'm glad I'm still youngish. I remember the time when I didn't even think I had mental issues, why would I even seek for help?

I know it can feel that way. When my psychosomatic symptoms were full-blown, untreated for 8 months, I was absolutely prepared to take my life. I accepted death, since I'd lost my most treasured faculties - I couldn't think straight, I couldn't speak well - it was a life I could not abide.

When my neighbor and partner both arranged an intervention, I got help and was reborn. Life had meaning again, and new meaning, because I no longer could live for myself. I felt I needed to re-enter society and use the gift of this second life to minister the needs of others. I went on to earn my MPA and now work with several nonprofits in a city with one of the worst mental health rates in the US.

While I was ready to take my own life, which was mine to take, my second life was a gift that I could only pay forward and never pay back. That pernicious beast that took your first life can be slain, and the act of suffering it was necessary for you to know it. You have my greatest sympathy, and what's more my appreciation for sharing your story. Stay healthy, watch your meds, and please enjoy this gift of a second life with all its hardships and blessings. If you can, pay that gift forward. You cannot pay it back.

This

If only mental health was seen as being as important as physical health and people got checkups yearly/saw a therapist at the first sign of distress.

Can I ask a stupid question? If a person were to want to get help with their mental health but wasn’t sure what steps to take... what would you recommend?

Do you have health insurance? First thing I did after struggling for YEARS was look through the website for my insurance and find in network counselors and therapists. Then look for ones that specialize in your needs to just general mental health and honestly, just pick one and start. Sometimes you have to try a few therapists to find the one that works best for you but once you find a great one, it’s worth it.

I was very lucky to find a therapist who was right for me on the first try. She’s compassionate and understanding and never makes me feel like I’m wrong in my thoughts. Even when I have had suicidal idealations, she’s told me to never be ashamed of them. It’s been wonderful to have her and it’s the first step that is the hardest when it comes to your mental health. Good luck.

It’s usually a good idea to first go see your GP (doctor). Tell them what you think you’re struggling with. If you don’t know, just give them the symptoms and they’ll give you the appropriate tests to take. Depending on your score, they’ll usually diagnose you with whatever disorder you have. Then you just follow their instructions from there.

Erm, what? My GP just looked at me and said "severe depression and anxiety" and sent me on my way with 20mg citalopram.

Never been back for it since. The depression has subsided but I'm so anxious I rarely leave the house without overthinking everything. Fuck that GP, did the exact opposite of help.

Just wanted to jump in to say I was also on citalopram/cipralex/escitalopram and found it didn't do shit for me. Changed to efforex and haven't looked back.

Amen! I grew up getting fed adderall so I know a thing or two about this.

Felt pretty fucked up, spend a lot of my life sorting things out. Found my brain to be like a muscle that needs to be worked every day. Meditation, diet, sleep, social life, discipline, challenges/struggle, and achieving goals all beneficial to creating good mental health.

It's crazy to think the chemical concoction in your brain can dictate how you go about problems you face and how you perceive life, take care of yourself! Unplug the phone! Breath!

TLDR;

Take note of what makes you happy, keep doing them. Find stuff that other people create routines in, try it, keep it if it makes you happy.

I spent so many years denying that I had a problem. Now that I have, Ive been much better at coping and recovering when experiencing an episode

Does anyone here know how to cut a persistent acquaintance out of your life? This guy thinks were BFFS but I barely tolerate him. I feel put on the spot big time because he went on this rant about how I'm his best friend and stuff, he has other friends, he even had a girlfriend, she just broke up with him the other day though. I am dealing with some serious mental health issues and some college coursework that's just hard as fuck and he keeps asking to hang out and I keep on deflecting. I don't want to be this guys friend but he seems impossible to avoid so I end up making small talk until I come up with an excuse to leave. I only have 4 weeks of school left and I want to ghost him but that's apparently an asshole thing to do. I'm too awkward to be impolite but also awkward enough to be an asshole. I want to straight up tell him I don't want to be friends but his gf just said she wants to see other guys and I don't want to kick the guy when he's down. He also seems to be looking at me in a romantic light and the answer is just a big ass NO. I have issues and I ain't doing that shit(romance) ever. He just keeps popping up because we have class in the same building. I want to do whats best for me but I don't want to hurt him too bad.

Dont light yourself on fire to keep others warm. If ghosting him is the right option then do it. Some people cant take a hint. Fuck some people wont accept the truth if you tell it to them straight. Do whats best for you.

I feel depressed a lot and have no motivation for anything. Don't want to tell anyone either since I'm an awkward fuck

Just talking to a counselor once a week can work wonders. You can also learn tips to use through your day to help live life again.

From someone who was chronically depressed and sought help. It made a huge difference in my life.

I'm too awkward to talk about it with friends, let alone strangers :/ I don't feel depressed all the time (a lot though I think), it's more that I just feel so bored and life seems so boring and pointless. I have a hobby but I'm shit at it so I don't get that much joy out of it

I was too. It took a few conversations to get past that but you can.

Not experiencing joy is a sign of depression. Everyone is different. Good luck

On one hand, I want to talk about it and possibly enjoy life, but on the other, I have no motivation and don't see the point; I'm not as low where I used to be where I would self harm but I'd still rather just be dead than alive tbh and I'm used to it now so I don't really care anymore.

Thanks for talking with me :)

ignores

Lol I'm in college idk what good mental health is.

I learned this the hard way. Recovering heroin addict now. Fuck, I wish I'd done what I should have before I destroyed my entire life. It's alot harder to get help now then when I was a respectable software engineer with unmedicated bipolar disorder. Before I was just "troubled" now..I'm a trouble junkie loser.

You are not a loser. You just said you were in recovery. That is awesome. I messed up my life too. My sister is a heroin addict so I never did heroin, just lots of other stuff in moderation. Then in my 30's I got a pain pill addiction. Totally my doctors fault, they over prescribed everything and I had no idea. I was young and dumb. I am paying for it now. I hate my life. My mental health is nuts.

I don't really honestly know what this means

I let my mental health go from bad to worse. At the beginning was only loneliness, then alcohol started, then total isolation. Then the psychosis came, panic attacks, cronic insomnia. Then I asked for help. I was an alcoholic, borderline, with PTSD and cronic depression. This was 2+ years ago. I am medicated now and feel good. Never ignore your mental health.

Do you mean the mental health of the gang of people living inside my head?

Just stop being sad. /a

/s

Struggled through seasonal depression for ten years before getting a new doc, mentioning the blahs, and her listening to me, running a blood test, and finding I was severely vitamin D deficient and that was causing the irregular depression. I have a scrip to get me through this season, and I'm noticing happy signs of spring like I never have before

False. It is a subset of everything.

Such a sad aspect in the military. I could use mental health days or have the need to talk to a counselor but it would jeopardize my clearance. Seen a lot of guys go get help only for it to get suspended from their jobs for months. It’s such a shame.

My demons and I are closer than ever.

Next year we're gonna visit every major league baseball park.

THIS, OMG THIS, SO MUCH THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

​

THIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Exercise has made me much less skinny and helps me mentally a lot

So I assume you're weight lifting?

Yeah. I'm doing some vertical leg raises and squats as well now.

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Hi dad

Hi Turbolag95!

Havent seen you in a while. How is the 24 year old boy of mine? Heard you got yourself a volks wagon! Great german cars! You know i love em too! Just like dogs! I'm so proud of you and what you are! You know i love you and think about you every day, might not say it so often, but you rock!

~Dad.

Keep at it. In time your mentality and body will advance in doing things more challenging.

I do 100 calf raises and 100 squats before bed. Not pretty good, cause most of the time I go a bit overboard and end up weak the next morning

Do you have anything to eat or maybe a protein shake or something after you exercise before bed? Because if not, that may be a reason you sometimes feel weak the next morning

If you're still weak when you wake up eat more protein and drink more water with some creatine mix

I'm in the same position as the commenter, I had always been incredibly skinny until I started taking weight lifting and eating seriously. It was a struggle, but I've gained about 20 lbs in the last year and a half. I could go into more specifics about diet and routines but the biggest thing if you want to put on muscle is eating a ton and working out consistently on an actual program.

Me now (NSFWish): https://i.imgur.com/RgdZCv8.jpg

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What are you wearing dude?

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Nice, thanks for sharing

A weightlifting routine

Hmu w what you ate etc been workin out but i think my awful diet may be an issue

whoa dude, chill. it’s not safe to bring your guns to the internet.

Light cardio and 4000 calories of protein supliments daily.

I'm going to assume it has made you muscular-not-skinny, and not fat?

Yeah I actually have biceps now instead of a thin strip of flesh.

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Tracking calories is the worst for me. While I do it too infrequently I don't have much problem with working out and actually started rowing again through my university sports club. But tracking calories... urgh. I don't know why I find it so incredibely annoying.

Honestly, I figure out all of my calories in general, and I just well, round them, and it’s good enough. I’ve been on a cut of 1500 calories/day, so I round my food up, and even if I’m not at 1500 calories, it’s been close enough to me that the numbers work out well. I’ll start tracking my macros a lot more closely once I get to the point of putting on muscle mass, but that comes after cutting weight.

I find I don't really need to track calories so much as just write down what I eat each day, I tend to undereat die to both anxiety problems and an unwanted side effect from a medication I am. Worrying it down helps me make sure I'm eating enough. I've been the best about it the last month, and I've actually managed to gain some weight finally (and because I work out regularly it's just all muscle which feels fantastic).

Link plz:) fellow skinny man tryna make it at the gym.

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Strong lifts is good for getting strong but not really getting big in my experience

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Thanks for that. The faq & budget search was 100% needed. I'll be making a start on this in the next 2 weeks. Maybe even swapping over to vegan, I'm unsure.

Just go. Look up workouts, isolate each body part per day and just start lifting weights. Start at low weight and just gradually work up to your strength

The gym i'm going to has this coaching service.

They gave me a workout plan with exercises to do with a goal to increase the weight of each exercise by 2 kilo each week for the first two months or so.

I go 3 times per week for a full body workout. The trainer went around the gym with me to teach me how to do each exercise

And a food plan I have to track everything I eat and make sure I hit my targets for Carbs, Protein and Fat.

It's not a real personal trainer thing because I have to do everything myself and decide when I can increase the weight on an exercise. But they track my progress and help when I need it.

I went in just over 1 month from benching 3x15x24 kilo to 34 kilo. Feeling pretty good about that.

It's not that hard to go from skinny to moderately muscular. Just workout 3-4 times a week and eat a lot more, it takes just 3-6 months. Getting more muscular than that is very hard though, at least for me.

Eat more. Not necessarily track calories bc that's a lot of work.

If you have it in your area, I also suggest trying rock climbing. I hate being in a weight gym and I get bored quickly between sets. With rock climbing it adds a mental challenge on top of physical. So after three years of 3-5 days/week of climbing and I'm no longer meek but stronger and more bulky. Still around the same weight but visually I look bigger.

Get on a meal plan that puts you in a surplus. A thing with skinny people is they say they eat all the time and never gain weight but in reality they have two bites of a bruger and are finished for a few hours

This was me. I figured I was eating maybe 3000 calories a day. Turns out I did, some days, but then I made up for it by eating 1500 the next day.

Need tips too.

Eat a little bit more than you think you should, make sure you’re getting enough protein, and follow a workout program. /r/fitness has some great programs in the sidebar.

I’m 5’11. I was 145 pounds for about 15 years until a few months ago I started exercising and eating more. Now I’m up to 159 pounds and I can already tell a big difference in how I look, even under a shirt.

For what it’s worth, I haven’t been counting calories or doing a program. I just do lots of pull-ups (I’m up to 3 sets of 5 reps, will add weight soon), push-ups, band pull-aparts (for scapular retraction), squats, hip thrusts, planks, and side planks. I could probably make better progress with an actual program, but I like my current exercises and I can do everything in my apartment.

The very basic things, though: if you eat more than you burn, you’ll gain weight. If you lift things, you’ll get stronger.

As another fellow skinny person, an easy way to get into it is with a simple free-weight routine. Start out with something like this:

5 sets of 10 push-ups 5 sets of 10 chair dips 4 sets of 20 sit-ups/crunches

If that’s too much, ease back a bit. As you progress, increase the number of reps per set. Make sure you’re really pushing to your limit, because that’s how mass will get added. Maxing out is your friend.

Also: remember to breathe.

Lift heavy stuff and put it back down. Eat a lot.

eat lots of peanuts. they have tons of calories

No. He ate all the dumbbells and now weighs a ton

So if I exercise I'll get fatter? Good enough for me. I'm gonna not exercise today.

no wait that's-

TOO LATE! My mind is made up!

And exercise making me much more skinny, so we all get what we want!

Oh.. Since I want to be skinny, I guess I am doing it right then.

Yeah, I was talking myself through some stuff a week ago and realized I was a LOT happier back when I was doing distance running. Happier, easier to be around, and had a much more positive outlook. I can't do distance running right now due to an injury, but that doesn't stop me from doing weights and the elliptical. 👍👍

changed your diet too?

I've cut down on eating between meals. It's good to let your last meal fully digest before you have your next.

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How much do you weigh now and what's your routine? I'm 182 and 60kg, contemplating whether to hit the gym.

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Wow that's impressive, do you do body weight fitness or actual weights?

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I'm having the same dilemma right now about going to the gym, thx for the advice though.

Dude, all that’s relevant about a skinny kid in the gym is that he’s trying to better himself! It’s the same as someone who’s a bit overweight going to the gym - you’re just coming from different directions.

Most of my friends tell me to put some weight, before going to the gym, is that a healthy option?

Gym secret: almost everyone there is feeling some embarrassment or anguish over how they look - they're there to work on it! It's counter-intuitive, but workout rooms are really amazing places to connect with people. There's a common mutual respect because people understand that everyone else has drummed up the same internal motivation to get themselves in there and put some effort into their fitness and physical health.

Gym secret #2: put your earbuds in, pump some Rage Against The Machine, and ignore everything in the world that isn't you kicking ass!

Dude, thx a lot. I've looked up few local gyms, planning to go after Easter, really nervous about it.

It makes you less skinny? Well I'm out.

The only thing preventing me from properly working out is money. I walk a ton and try to do pushups and ab exercises at home every day.

I borrowed my friends weights and he gave me tips on how to exercise.

Not a bad idea, honestly. Might be difficult living in an apartment though.

That’s a great start! Continually increase your reps and/or sets to be sure you’re always pushing yourself. You can also work different muscles by simply altering your hand placement (ex. wide vs narrow). Chair dips is another easy one to do at home. Try getting your hands on an affordable pull-up bar too, if possible.

Exercise has made me much less skinny

Oxymoron much?

muscles

yeah i know. the way you worded it was funny.

Yeah that's a mistake on my part but you get the point

It’s not even a mistake dude lol

Respect everyone equally. A janitor and a CEO of a company are both people and deserve equal treatment. It gets you far.

Definitely this. Talk to everyone and respect everyone. Do it because it's the right thing to do.

As a bonus it can pay off. Example: ages ago I applied for a job in the middle of a recession with hundreds of other applicants. I arrived early and got talking to the office admin assistant. Later on I learned that the manager who interviewed me asked their opinion and I was the only qualified candidate who talked sensibly to them. It probably swung it for me.

YES. Practice. Learn the housekeepers' names at work. For real.

my vote is the janitor deserves more respect

Disagree. CEO's are scumbags. Janitors actually make the world a better place.

I took forever to graduate with my BS. I befriended the janitorial staff in the buildings I frequented and the lunch ladies in the cafeteria. By year 7 I was coasting. They would help me out so so much. Especially if I needed something super close to close or if I was short on cash for lunch.

Be a spectator of your thoughts. Be a watcher. Detach and look inward.

Be the atmosphere, not the cloud

It’s cloudy outside today (might rain)

I looked outside after reading this and...it actually makes sense

Be the screen, not the movie.

This just immediately made me feel better, cheers mate

Instructions unclear, got high on acid.

This can go a little too far. I agree with you in principle, but I've actually had to spend the last two years or so actually being me, not just observing. Mine was a response to depression and anxiety, but being a detached watcher can be incredibly isolating.

This resonates with me too much. Any advice on how to ease out of this?

My therapist helped me with this a lot, by making me speak without thinking first. If you don't have a therapist, you can maybe try this yourself with a diary or just speaking to yourself. Speak about what you're feeling without trying to think why - it doesn't matter why you're happy, or sad, or angry, or frustrated, or excited, just feel those things and name them.

I don't know if this is the same for you, but for me a lot of my detachment came from rationalising - I had to understand why I was acting in a particular way or feeling something. If you can practice just knowing how you're sfeeling without rationalising, it might help.

Once you get into the habit of knowing how you're feeling without worrying too much about why, it might help you actually feel those things. I could never be properly happy before, because I was always a layer of separation from myself. I was happy, but the me observing wasn't because I was just observing someone else be happy. I think it was a defence against being a scared, vulnerable, miserable little kid. It was easier to be scared if I acted like I was watching someone else be scared.

By recognising where it started, why I did it, I could start addressing some of the things that started it. That really strengthened the other things I was doing, and let me live. Yes, I feel sad and scared and vulnerable now, but I feel them. Sometimes it's scary to face the fact that there isn't that separation to keep me from feeling sad, but it also means when I get excited there's nothing in the way.

I've lived feeling dissociated for the last year or so as I detached myself a lot - feels somewhat like I'm seeing life from inside of my head instead of through my eyes - and something that's helped a lot in making me feel like me again is nostalgia and revisiting old memories (you can try a reverse timeline) no matter how good or bad. It helps if you can talk to the people you share those memories with.

I've found that whilst meditation and mindfulness can work wonders for mental distress, constant dissociation and viewing life as a spectator can do more harm than good, you somewhat feel like you're no longer truly living life to the fullest - you're combatting a lot of things that make us human, like emotions. But this is something I learnt through further practice.

Instead now, I leave my guard down and the moment I sense I'm getting into a mental 'trap' I then choose to dissociate for a moment and view it as a more objective 'spectator'. So try talking to friends and family about old memories, maybe watch an old film from your childhood or listen to an old band, and it may help bring back that sense of me.

Warning this may or may not cause occasional depressive feelings and existential crisis. But totally worth doing.

Tell your innards that you are worthy and that even though caring for others is caring for yourself, just care for yourself sometimes.

I have found often when I have time for my mind to wander that I think utterly inconsequential things. I find listening to podcasts or audiobooks to help me focus on things outside whatever weird/unhealthy/or just plain pointless spiral my thoughts are taking.

Talking out loud or writing down your thoughts in third person helps with this perspective.

Instead of, "This traffic is making me mad." think, "This traffic is making /u/juguman mad."

That's an arbitrary example, but any type of thought discussing your thoughts and/or opinions can be reworded in third person to help you potentially see it differently.

Instructions unclear, fully depersonalized

Same here brother. Fully depersonalized for 5 years and counting :(

You made is sound easier than it actually is

That is actually how you meditate. :)

uhhhhhhh.... i get where you're trying to go Gautama but I think IMHO it's not general advice for everyone, and instructions incomplete ;D . just my opinion

You know, I tried meditating but could never understand what this means or how to do this. Could someone more experienced explain?

One popular exercise is called "leaves on the stream." Imagine standing on the bank, watching the stream go by. When you notice a thought, imagine placing the thought on a leaf, and watch it get taken by the current. Any thought. "This is stupid, I'm not doing this right, what's for dinner, etc." Keep practicing. Keep placing the thoughts on the leaves. You'll notice your mind wander, that's ok because that's what minds do. Just notice it and bring your attention back to the stream. "Feel" the warmth on your skin. "Smell" the dirt and grass. You can find lots of guided exercises online, keep trying and find the ones you like. Headspace is a pretty cool app too

Brain's a muscle, gotta keep exercising it.

I like the one with the bus (probably because my thoughts more often resemble noisy crowded busses than leaves). It comes, and you can get on the bus, but you choose not to and you wait there and let it drive away.

Very Jocko Willink.

What does this mean?

ELLABORATING MY POINT FOLLOWING REQUESTS:

The internal chatter inside is non stop, the internal dialogue. This is the mind, which is not our real essence or true self.

We have the ability if we pay attention, to watch the mind objectively, in a way that makes us feel separate from it.

This means that we can quieten the chatter and at some point reach a peaceful state; after all it’s the constant chatter about our past and future which causes all worry, all anxiety.

Thank you for explaining I really feel like this can help me, thanks.

Not good for me since I have DID...

What the hell does that even mean lol?

Sounds like something someone at a self help seminar in a Radison banquet room would say.

Try some guided mindfulness meditation, it can be pretty surprising once you work at it for a little while.

It's also the central idea behind cognitive behavioural therapy, stoic philosophy, and mindfulness meditation.

Moisturize.

Your skin will love you and it's an easy act of self care.

Okay, how? What even is moisturising?

It's like a kind of cream that keeps your skin from drying out and keeps it looking good and feeling soft

Ok. Where do I get some, and what separates good ones from bad ones?

Run to your local drug store and buy some CeraVe or Cetaphil

Don’t just get any old lotion. Those can be comedogenic (cause blackheads/clog pores). Get a moisturizer/facial lotion. I’ve had a good experience with Neutrogena’s moisturizer.

At a store that sells skincare products, so a regular grocery story would probably suffice. In the aisle with toothpaste and stuff probably. Just pick a bottle that says lotion, the most basic is probably best initially. I honestly don't know enough about it to give any advice exceeding "use it daily and consistently and results will take a couple weeks" so if you're interested in more check out /r/SkincareAddiction

I get the same results by taking cold should showers and not using soap every day when I shower. People use soap every day which is absolutely unnecessary.

addicted to masturbating and believes using soap in the shower is absolutely unnecessary, name a more iconic duo

Learn to read I never said that you shouldn't be using soap at all I'm just saying that you shouldn't use it every day.

Or you can just use a nice mild glycerin soap which won't cause any problems for your skin whatsoever, during nice warm but not hot showers, and not smell like a funky ballsack.

Skin food. It's skin food.

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OKAY, HOW? WHAT EVEN IS MOISTURISING?

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Got any particular recommendations? Does suntan lotion work?

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And the thing people need to understand is that skincare can be cheap

I spend probably $60 a year on moisturizer, cleanser and SPF. I get constant compliments on how nice my skin looks

For those with face problems this is a must.

No amount of moisturizer can fix this thing.

I didn't say it was a fix. Of course it's not a fix. Its a step to a fix. It helps.

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I’m a noob to the game but Cerave facial moisturizer is tuff bc it’s fragrance free and is like one of the staple budget moisturizers you can get. You can use it all over your body too, not just ur face

I have sensitive skin and I've had problems with basically every moisturizer, especially cerave.

​

I had to settle for Suave Body Lotion advanced therapy with rich hydrators. It's about $4 for a few months supply, and there's even an equate brand for $3 at Walmart. This stuff absorbs quickly and I've found that helps.

​

I also use Dove face/body wash and Paula's Choice exfoliants.

dang really? what kind of problems did u have

I’ve been using Cetaphil cleanser and Cerave moisturizer every night and my acne and acne scars are going down but i’m noticing some redness in my nose area and my blackheads there are still chillin

Cerave/Cetaphil, most moisturizers I've tried make my skin more oily, and breaks me out.

​

Neutrogena Oil Free Sensitive Skin helped with the breaking out, but still made my skin oily.

​

I eventually found the Equate/Suave moisturizer, and even though it does have a scent and is not oil free, I believe because it absorbs quickly it works quite well and doesn't cause breakouts/oilyness.

CeraVe or Cetaphil both make gentle fragrance free moisturizers that you can pick up at any drugstore or Target. Neutrogena’s gentle line also is a fave for me, I like the sensitive skin moisturizer because it’s got SPF 15 as well, but doesn’t smell like sunscreen.

Head on over to r/SkincareAddiction . There's a team of reddit users eager to help you out

If you want a good, scent free body moisturizer, get the Cetaphil moisturizing cream. I got a large tub, plus a smaller one at Costco for like $13 but you can get it basically anywhere that sells this stuff.

For your face, I really like the Neutrogena hydroboost line, but I have very dry skin. Also using an spf daily is really good for you.

I have sensitive skin and I don’t like fragrances. Neutrogena moisturizer has worked really well for me. I use the one for combination skin because my nose/chin/forehead get oily and my cheeks are dry.

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important note: using the lotion is only one half of not getting the hose. if you don't put the lotion back in the basket afterwards you're still going to get it.

That's true. Can't believe I forgot that part.

Yes! And may I add, spf!! Future you will be thankful. Try to get into the habit of using spf rain or shine.

Additional tip...

Shop at TJ Maxx/Marshalls for those sorts of products, especially as a guy.

The prices are much lower, especially for "mens" branded stuff, which are normally the exact same products with some manlier fragrance, and marked up compared to the womens version.

I just this past weekend found 2 different retinol serums and a night moisturizer for a total of like $12

Yes.

I'm a guy and I moisturise my face and hands, so many other men are confused why I moisturise and try to make fun of me.

I just smile, wait for them to finish, and then tell them to go home and ask their partner (if they have one, if not just simply say "ask a girl") if they prefer their rough, scratchy hands/fingers OR nice soft smooth hands like mine.

I like to sand some planks with my bare hands every once in a while.

Until you come across the girls who prefer rough hands.

rough hands are basically made from manual labor. nobody should be having rough hands if they are sitting at a computer 12 hours a day. i don't get callouses from talking shit on reddit all day

  1. That's not relevant to what I said.

  2. Rough hands can also be from other active hobbies that have nothing to do with work/manual labor.

  3. Stop sitting at a computer talking shit on reddit for 12 hours a day?

Yes! What a simple thing to do, and my skin has gone from very average, to very soft, just using it after my shower most days (when I remember!) :D

AND use sunscreen

As a chemist, I must stress to do this with care. There are increadible amounts of chemicals in most such products, and many are dangerous over the long run!

👽

I didn't see your comment until after I replied to him asking for the same.

The sheer volume of people using lotions of various kinds suggests if any of this stuff was legitimately dangerous, it would not be a mystery to anyone.

There are increadible amounts of chemicals in most such products, and many are dangerous over the long run!

Can you provide any kind of evidence of a claim that lotion is dangerous in the long run?

I'll defer to your personal expertise that a specific chemical might be unhealthy, but I really can not recall for a moment anyone stating that good old fashioned lotion is actually a health risk.

Try and google ‘parabens health’. Some flagrants also activities mimicing hormones. Many compounds are more soluble in fat relative to water, and these will be stored in the fat tissue, and will not easily be dissolved back in your aqueous blood, and as a result might be accumulated in the body over long periods. Accumulation results in increasing concentrations over time, which cause new effects, which might or might not be harmful. But I personally dont want to take the risk (of cancer), and strive towards products without perfumes and parabens :-)

Try and google ‘parabens health’.

https://www.fda.gov/cosmetics/productsingredients/ingredients/ucm128042.htm

So...no danger to human health. Gotcha.

You will also be able to find studies stating otherwise. I do not trust the FDA or any other lobbyist controlled us government agency. Plenty of companies would loose too much if such chemicals were deemed dangerous, and there would be many lawsuits agains them from cancer stricken americans. I would rather be on the safe side and avoid unnecessary chemical additives still. It might not be a problem at all, I can admit that. I just dont want the risk :-)

Edit: Just to be clear. I do use lotion, I just pay the extra price for something with less additives.

You will also be able to find studies stating otherwise.

Can you provide one?

I do not trust the FDA or any other lobbyist controlled us government agency.

Well, why should I take your word over theirs? Their official statement is basically that there's no human risk. Your statement is that there's no provable or direct human risk, but you'd rather be safe than sorry.

I can certainly appreciate that perspective, but if there's no actual risk then making a claim of danger is speaking out of turn.

One example: https://drbeckycampbell.com/hidden-endocrine-disruptors-everyday-cosmetics/

I'm sorry but that is not an example of a scientific study or even a reputable source.

The word "toxin/toxins" is used 7 times on that page, used in the pseudo-science context.

They also list Livestrong as a fucking source.

Come on, man. Step up your game.

Is this one good enough? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/21155623/

Not really a compelling source for the original.

You are one of those people who never loose an argument, because you never let it end. That article states my exact argument for being careful. But good luck, I’m out :-)

No, I simply demand that people who make claims have at least something reputable to back it up.

Thank you for this addition!

checks ingredients of every skincare product

I don’t expect you to. In denmark there are government stamps on products with no added flagrants or other simular chemicals, enabling non chemist people to choose the more healthy products. There might be similar stuff in the US?

If people wouldn't fucking drown themselves in soap it wouldn't be as necessary to moisturise every time.

Our skin fats are very important, and are not equally replaced by cosmetic products.

Chris from Mr. Beast:

*heavy breathing*

Leave the house 10- 20 minute earlier than originally planned.

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This only works if you plan your trips appropriately, are obscenely lucky with transit, or don’t give a shit if you’re late.

Ideally it’s the first one, which is what I aim for.

I have a 4 minute walk to work. It's glorious.

Ten minute 3 block walk. With a 53 cent 7-11 coffee mug refill on the way.

i have a 9km ( 10 minutes ) Drive too work. i meet 2 cars and one buss on my way to work everyday.

Always the same lads so we always flick lights at eachother. its morning rutine to the point that its always the same corner you meet the same car.

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had such a moment today, i went out 5 - 6 minutes late wich resulted in that one of the lads met me just outside the house. He honked and pulled a middle finger and luaghed. Dunno how to take that one,

Sounds like a great group of lads. I love little routines like that can make tough days a little more bearable

buss

Why is this spelling so prevalent recently? It's one s. Bus.

Maybe people think of the plural busses and only chop off the -es?

Its scandinavian im sorry, "Buss" in Swedish. Noted thanks.

It's buss in some other languages...

Not in english so fucking stick to it.

do you know clue why it costs 53 cent?

Edit: what a sentence.

Taxes

I see, thanks you!

Fucking alladin.. Always bragging about carpets and shit..

I have a 20 minute walk, 8 minute bike ride, or 5 minute drive to work every morning. I like to walk in the morning and back home at lunch then ride my bike back from lunch. Unless the weather is shitty.

So yeah you can probably just leave on time

I can’t afford to live four minutes from my work.

I live in a shoebox in the worst neighborhood and spend over 2/3 of my take home on rent.

Do you like your work enough to do this? It sounds misserable.

I like San Francisco enough to do this. My work is alright, lol.

Distance from your job has nothing to do with wealth

How so? A studio apartment near my job would be roughly $2k a month. With student loans and a desire to grow my savings account, that’s not feasible based on my income.

But that’s just YOUR job. My job is in a dirt poor/ghetto neighborhood where you can rent out a 2 bedroom apartment in the complex behind it for around 600. Utilities included. My job before this one was a 10-15 min walk away and the complex I live at is around 1000 for a 3 bedroom 2 bath. Just because you are dealing with a certain situation and live in an expensive area doesn’t mean every area is the same and everyone’s situation is going to be the same.

Well hows about you leave 20 minutes early so you eliminate the benefit of having a short walk to work?

I miss that. You can spend weeks without touching your car, in the right community.

I haven't had a car since 2014. Best thing ever.

Username does not check out

Lucky. I used to walk 2 hours there and two hours back everyday.

Imo leaving on time already means having buffer for bad transit, though.

Where I live you don't have to be obscenely lucky. You just think and plan sensibly, and almost always arrive within a minute or two of the scheduled time.

Where's that if you don't mind me asking?

Any place that’s rural, suburban, or a small to moderately sized city.

That indeed was my first point.

I leave very early so I get where I'm going ahead of time. Takes the stress of wondering if I'll make it due to traffic or some other unforeseeable cause. Early is on time.

Or if you live in a smaller city. My variance for most trips is maybe five minutes, mostly due to stop lights unless something crazy happens. Even minor to moderate car accidents don’t do a whole lot to most routes I take. Our rush hour traffic is lighter than even off-hours traffic in a city like San Diego.

My old job took 45 minutes to get to on a perfect day. But I'd leave an hour before my start time because sometimes the bus could be late or the train would be held at a station for some reason or other.

Planning trips appropriately means taking into account any possible problems with transit.

Why does anyone assume that different people have comparable experiences with their commute? Reddit is an enormous pool and not everyone has a tech job with an hour commute in a city.

In have a 10 minute drive to work. Before that I lived on property where I worked. Someone else may benefit from leaving a little earlier, another knows exactly how much time they need.

That falls under planning your trips appropriately now doesn't it?

My commute consists of walking from my bed to my desk, so my plan really only needs to be waking up on time. Doesn't really change the facts though.

I seem unable to do the first one so I try to live the house 15-30 min earlier...I had a really bad habbit of being late because I couldn't apreciate the times right

I must live in a place with extremely consistent traffic patterns.

If I leave 25 mins before work, I will be at my desk between 2 and 5 minutes "early" every single day with no exceptions so far in 6 years.

I'm a student, couldn't care less about being late

Sure, why show up on time for stuff you pay thousands of dollars to attend.

Because they film all the lectures and put it online anyway

Or live in a city that has decent public transport you can depend on?

That would certainly be nice.

I need 2 minutes to my trainstation. There is no other I could use. With this tip I’ll sit 20 min on the train tracks looking on my phone.

Maybe you’ve already internalized all the steps necessary to arrive somewhere on time. This advice is intended for people struggling with punctuality. Most of the advice in life isn’t going to be one-size-fits-all

I'm not saying you learn to do it naturally overnight. I'm saying too many people don't bother trying. Once you try, you learn. And once you learn, it becomes a habit.

Good on you, then.

I’ve met a lot more people that arrive late to things or miss their metros because of poor time-management.

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That’s true. Maybe we could change all of their clocks and somehow fix the “universal” time on their electronics to run ahead so that when they think they’re late, they are actually early//on time.

And those people would still find a way to be late, baffling the rest of us who are now 30 minutes early to everything.

My mom sets her car clock 5 minutes ahead for this reason. I don't know how much it really helps once you're already in the car though.

Let's her know how many red lights she should run.

Gotta start somewhere.

That's why I wake up over an hour before I have to be at work. It only takes thirty minutes to get ready and leave, the rest is "I don't feel like it" time.

Though being able to dictate my own schedule also helps me to not be late.

My roommate has severe adhd and has serious time-blindness. If he doesn’t set alarms for non-routine things or if I don’t tell him, he’s 100% going to be late. Thankfully, he’s aware of it and so tries to take measures to combat it... until he gets distracted.

Yes, it's not that difficult if you actually make an effort. The problem is so many people don't care about inconveniencing others.

You need time to say hello to everyone in the morning!

I've never had a problem with punctuality but I feel that leaving 10 to 20 minutes early gives me a huge sense of relaxation. If I get stuck behind a big truck I know I don't need to stress about that possible minute or two of time that I lost. If I want a drink or a snack I have the luxury of time to stop and grab something. If I have somewhere to be where I'm trying to make a good impression and I leave 10 minutes early I get to walk in with some ease and confidence after taking my time to find the best parking spot and maybe playing on my phone before I walk in.

Even if you have great punctuality I think it's really nice to leave early sometimes.

Depends on the thing.

Like sometimes the bus is late or there's a wreck you get stuck behind or whatever. So if it's something you definitely don't want to be late for like a job interview, then pad it by at least 10 minutes.

There’s no such thing as “on time” just early or late.

Rubbish. Most people recognise punctuality (without being nit-picking pedants).

I get what you mean and you’re right. It’s what I mean to an extent. Sure, people recognise and respect punctuality. With regards to the original question being “early” as a rule is something that allows you to avoid rushing and the anxiety or whatever that may accompany it. This principle ultimately insures punctuality. If you approach things this way it helps in the long term.

A lot of it comes down to common sense. For longer journeys where the arrival time is essential, I'd certainly build in a cushion. And there are occasions where being actually punctual is really anti-social. I'm just advocating more personal responsibility rather than the awful cop-out of claiming to be 'unable' to be on time, when people are really just saying they're selfish and don't care.

“Early is on time On time is late Late is never acceptable”

It's advice for people who consistently find that "the right time" results in them being late. It's something that I know I ought to do, and don't.

And set the morning alarm 10-20 minutes earlier than you need, too.

There's such a calming feeling when you can go about your morning routine at your own pace.

This is what I have to do to prevent being late.

And keep repeating this until you’ve turned up a full day early, and then two days early, and then eventually a year early. Boom, time travel invented.

this is better than the "show up on time" comment

I shouldn’t do that, or I’d end up leaving 20-40 minutes earlier than necessary. 😂😂

Leave the house 10- 20 minute earlier than originally planned.

Laughs in toddler shoe/coat tantrums.

Seriously, our kid seems really amazing for his age, but trying to get anywhere early has proven difficult.

I'm right there with you man

I already leave at 5:30 to work, I don't want to go at 5AM dude...

But that's when I'm pooing

Buy adult diapers/nappies with that spare 10-20 mins

I originally plan to leave 20 minutes early as it is this is getting ridiculous

My biological father taught me very little outside of how to not be a husband or father. One of them was one day he was leaving for work and I was like "wait, you aren't supposed to be there until 8am. it's 6:30 and it's like 30 minutes away". "Yes, but If I have car trouble or anything else comes up, I can still be on time".

That stuck with me in a severe way that I try my hardest to be an hour early. It really allows me time to get in the headspace to work. When I run late, I have a horrible feeling all day.

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Either slowly adjust your times to get you closer to the time you need, or find a way to get more use or joy out of that extra time. Bring a book or a sketch pad with you, or a really fun game on your phone.

Orrrrrr just leave on time. It's really quite easy. You just calculate the travel time and add 5 mins. If that doesn't work, adjust accordingly. You're probably just wasting time if you're constantly 30 minutes early.

This tip is for people who suck with time. If they say in their head they’ll leave at 4:45, they probably won’t leave until 4:50-5:00, but if they say they’ll leave at 4:30, then maybe they’ll be out the door by 4:35-4:45. I do it myself occasionally, especially when it’s something I could be a few minutes late for. That’s not a good habit to get into.

Sure, but what am I gonna do in the 15 minutes between my usual leaving time and your suggested one? If I get there too early, I can just relax/read a book in the car until it's time to go in. If I spend the time at home, instead, I'm just stressed/constantly looking at the clock and can't get into anything

Guess it depends on the person. I would be more stressed for example waiting outside of an interview for 40 mins waiting to be called in rather than just arriving on time (or 10 mins early) and waiting. If I leave on time, that means I can fit in a shower, a snack, quick cleaning, dishes, making the bed, folding laundry, etc etc before I go which means less for me to do after I get back and takes your mind off the waiting to leave.

Some have more anxiety about the opportunity cost of wasted time associated with arriving places early.

Well I’d counter with:

How much time do you waste in other places that you can’t reallocate to ten minutes before your meeting/class/work/etc?

Well supposing I’m typing on reddit about this banal topic, guess I already tipped my hand.

I leave the house earlier than I need to every morning for work. I get to the train station early, and have some time to sit down and relax without the distractions of my house. I also intentionally ride one train earlier than the one I would need to get to work right on time. When little things happen like the train being a few minutes late this morning, it's no big deal. I missed the bus I would normally get onto from the train, but the next one still gets me to work on time. If I aimed for the last train that would get me to work on time I would have no room for little errors like that, and I would be setting myself up for suffering.

Getting to work early is lovely as well. I've got time to make some coffee, then read a little at my desk before I actually start working. I love not feeling rushed at the start of my day

But people don't like it when I arrive pantsless and in my slippers..

This! My friend who served in the military once told me “if you’re not early you’re late”.

Since having kids I try my best to leave 20 minutes earlier than planned. It’s life changing.

What if I already plan an extra 10-20 minutes? I haven't been late to anything in years...

Seems inefficient. Then I wait at the destination and wait again at the next one. Every day I would lose a couple of hours just waiting.

This coupled with the "get up half an hour early for work" advice seems like it'll ruin me

What if I originally planned to leave the house 10 minute earlier?

you don't depend on DeutscheBahn, do you?

Drink water, sleep 8 hours or as much as they personally need (not everyone needs 8hours of sleep to be okay*?) give themselves mini pep talks to get them ready for the day and hype themselves up to do things they see as hard or not easy for them to personally do

Very true, I need about 15 hours if sleep a day

I haven't slept 8 hours straight in years, but 6 hours seems to be the sweet spot for me as far as having the right amount of sleep.

I've been sleeping like 4 hours a night for years. I'd love 8 lol

You must go to sleep between 20:00 (8pm) and 23:00 (11pm). You must stay asleep between 2:00 (2am) and 4:00 (4am), the strongest sleep drive time. Only that way you'll get fully restored. It doesn't matter if you sleep 8 hours if you do it other time period. You'll most likely feel tired after you get up.

care to give a citation?

Looks like it's just making sure you're asleep when you get into your deeper cycles

That is not a citation of any sort. REM sleep generally speaking occurs about 90 minutes into constant sleep, as far as I've been told.

(blazetronic et al, 2019)

Some people are night owls though.

I'm a night owl. My sleep habits are shit and it hurts me.

Never knew that anybody could benefit from sleeping during daytime. I knew that some animals do.

For all those ignorant people here. You're welcome. Take care, stay healthy. https://health.spectator.co.uk/is-being-a-night-owl-bad-for-your-health/

Interesting. Do you know why is that?

I'm amazed with ignorance of some people on Reddit. If you need some source or proof - go Google and educate yourself. If you're not capable of using Google, there you go: https://www.mattressclarity.com/blog/ideal-time-bed/

this article mentions neither of your points and in fact suggests that it's less important what time range you go to bed within at night and more so that it's \~7.5 hrs before your desired wake up time.

This does. https://health.spectator.co.uk/is-being-a-night-owl-bad-for-your-health/ I kinda thought this knowledge is common sense that you get to know by living and gathering your own experience. Unless you completely miss your body signals about how fucked up it feels when you systematically go to sleep later than normally, even if you sleep enough amount of time.

Personally I've noticed a long time ago that my productivity peak comes at about 1am to 3am. In that period of time I my brain works better and I do a lot more than, for example, in the morning or evening. I feel awful the whole next day, even tho I go to sleep at 4 am and get up at about 1pm. If I sleep like normal people do, I get up early at 6 or 7 in the morning and I just feel great the whole day. Coincidence?

I'm part of a discord server and we kind of collect people by playing a game we all like (when we encounter someone online who's chill we shoot them an invite).

Multiple times we've had people say (after someone logs off for the night) that it's odd (in a good way) that we don't shit-talk about people when they sign off.

To me, that's just normal, how you'd treat your friends, but apparnetly that's not how a lot of other people think.

In my expierence if I have a problem with someone that I can't ignore or that I can't come to a resolution to about myself then it warrants talking directly to that person.

My advice, if something is bothering you and it's directly related to someone else's behavior towards you, then say something to them.

That's not to say fielding the situation to someone you trust isn't good. I often use another friend to gauge if I'm overreacting or if there is something about the scenario I'm not privvy to that would change my outlook.

That said, wherever possible I try to talk to the one I have an issue with because in the end most of these kinds of problems are often just misunderstandings or someone's ignorant insensitivity (as in they don't know they are being insensitive).

TL;DR; If you have a problem with someone talk to them about it. No good comes from beating around the bush when a simple conversation could easily, cleanly, and quickly clear things up.

Edit: a few apelling mistakes.

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Makes me warm and fuzzy that this made you happy. Good luck finding your own secret clan.

^ This

What games do u play I might join...

Mainly For Honor and Terraria at the current moment. 😊

Ahh I play dbd, r6, and rl recently you should definitely HMU if u play one of these!

I've been thinking about getting into all of those games at one point or another, lol. But others in the server deffo play r6! Dm me for more info. 😁

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I’ve thought about that but am afraid of toxicity

Also, Terraria is one of the games a group of us play! waggels eyebrows

you got my attention, now you got my interest. sign me and the rest of america up!

just can't bring myself to ask, i'd feel uncomfortable, like if a friend failed to pay me back for the money i lent her on time, i'd just wait forever for her to talk to me first

I have dealt with this exact situation before, with a friend who was very touchy about money. I finally bit the bullet and talked to her about it and after a very tense conversation we got everuthing out in the open, she paid me back and we moved on from it. It isn't easy, but it makes your life better.

Your edit makes me laugh

I noticed it and realized I needed to stop lol

Get organized!! I cannot tell you how much this has helped me during the past few months alone!

Start with writing things down, every thing that you need to do, that you want to do, all the things, write em’ down!! If you do it right it will probably take a while.

Then once you’ve got that far start cleaning and organizing your physical spaces (room, apartment, house, wherever). Don’t skimp- take a fresh look at everything you own and ask yourself “do I need this in my life?”. You might have acquired things a while ago that have little to no relevance to your life now, or going into the future and unloading those things feels incredible!!

Once you have cleaned and re-evaluated everything it’s time to put it all back how you like it best. You’ve probably been so busy living life that you neglected the things you have and where they even go and believe me that does matter! Think about how you live your life and what arrangement of your things facilitates that best then get to re-arranging! You will notice a difference after you’ve been living with the thoughtful way you’ve organized your things I guarantee it!

Now remember that list of things you wrote down? Do em’!! I bet you have at very least a few things that you’ve been wanting to do for a long time and just haven’t gotten around to for one reason or another. Maybe you’ve been too busy, or had other things to do, or you just forgot. Organizing your life like this actually frees up time by allowing you to manage your schedule to the fullest so you can do those things and lead a happier, more fulfilled life! It’s like it opens up more time in the day but instead of adding time it just clears away the clutter that took it up before!!

Now all of this, every step, is a process. It all takes time, and the amount depends on the person. Also you might want to treat this as a sort of job, because as unattractive as that sounds you are actually working on (for) yourself and doing things like browsing Reddit (lol) should come after you’ve spent an hour or more a day working on these things so you get all of it done in a reasonable amount of time. And if you truly work at it it will pay off so well and you will be happier! I hope this helps :)

Greatest things that have helped me.

  • Quit drinking so much. I wasn't an alcoholic but I drank a few times a week and got drunk. Now i'm drinking maybe a 6 pack of beer a weekend.
  • Hobbies: picked up rock climbing and I mountain bike. Being outside in general has helped my mental state so much. I quit playing video games so much to be outside more.
  • Working out. Just 3 days a week. I've never felt better than when i'm lifting heavy. I've found high intensity workouts drain my energy but lifting heavy has greatly increased it as well as my testosterone.
  • Meal prepping. Don't worry about lunch. Save money and planning your meals to eat healthier. Win win.
  • If you find yourself worrying about something you can't control try to take a step back and realize it's just something you cannot control. Focus on the good or what you can do to make yourself feel better about the anxiety you're having.
  • My dog. Get a pet if you're an animal person or if you're lonely. Nothing will ever love you as much as a dog will and it just feels good man. Also the responsibility and schedule they keep you on helps.

Meal prepping was one of the biggest things for me. Saves money, saves time, and I'm healthier because of it? Wish I started WAY earlier

Me too. On top of that an Instant Pot is a huge time saver. Super easy to clean too.

Or a cat. Cats won’t give you as much attention as dogs but just enough not to spoil you

Cats work too. Or any companion animal. A bird, lizard, whatever. I have two cats too. They just cause me more stress than comfort. One loves to piss all over his litter box (against the sides and half pissing outside of it) and then on soft blankets or rugs laying around.

Simple things everyone can do?

Take the stairs instead of an elevator or escalator.

Park in the furthest spot in a parking lot to walk a little more.

Pack a lunch instead of buying one. Most people eat sandwiches or salads at lunch anyway and you’d be amazed how much you save and how controlling the ingredients will effect your mood and health. Plus it’s pretty easy once you get in a routine.

Swap your second or third cups of coffee for green tea. It’ll still give you caffeine, just not as much, and help rehydrate you more so than coffee.

Unplug for an hour before bed. You’ll get to sleep faster and have deeper sleep if you turn off the screen earlier before you go to bed.

I've always wanted to go for that last one and test its effectiveness....just all my hobbies and my job involve screens so I'd literally be sitting aimless for an hour.

I mean it takes me about an hour to go to sleep every night anyways, so I guess that hour spent staring at the ceiling counts?

If you (or anyone else reading this) want to start that habit and don't know what to do in that last hour you could pick up reading or as someone else pointed out, an audio book.

Other things could be yoga, meditation, working out, listening to music (if you wanna listen to the stuff on your phone you can get a cheap alexa + spotify premium so you don't have to look at your screen, alternatively the "old school" cd's or somethin), drawing or whatever else you could pick up as a "small hobby" you could do.

I used to read a lot but fell off some years ago. I do throw on a podcast around bedtime, so I guess that qualifies.

​

I like to hit the gym first thing in the morning. If I could wait, I'm sure I'd get some good sleep if I just passed out right after going at night though!

Ah that's a bummer, but I had that too. I Started quiet recently to read a lot more again though. Makes me feel productive because I'm doing something instead of being on my phone, even if it's "just" one book a week.

Well, I wish I had your dedication. Can't drag myself out of bed for nearly anything anymore. Only really urgent things that I can't miss (exams, work, meet ups with friends)

Working out right before bed won't help you fall asleep, your body has to cool down and lower your heart rate before it can rest effectively

I mean, I'd figure you'd go for a shower after working out anyways so your body has a cool down anyways, right?^^

Same problem, I started meditating before bed. I dont do it as much anymore but i can get to sleep so much faster these days after practising meditation for a while.

Audiobooks can be really helpful as well. Audible has a nice sleep timer that will automatically turn off after a certain amount of time/end of chapter.

If you have the space and money, a projector/screen setup is far easier on the eyes. I've slept better since switching setups, and I don't think I could ever put a TV in my bedroom again.

A tip because English is a mess of a language: In this case, it should be "affect" a ffect is when it is an a ction, e ffect is when it is an e vent

The effects of the drug affected his ability to drive.

Thanks, I always find myself fucking that up.

You know, I've tried the pack lunch thing, and I've found I'm really not saving enough money to justify my time preference. Buying all the ingredients that go into a healthy, quality sandwich that I can have someone else make for me (and taste even better), saves me about $1-1.50 per sandwich, but on both a daily and annual basis, I would prefer to pay that cost than lose the time required to shop for the ingredients and prep the sandwich every day.

You're either making absurdly complicated sandwiches or did the math wrong my dude.

I'm not sure about "absurdly complicated," but, no, I don't just make a PB&J or plain turkey sandwich for lunch. Indeed, that would save me money, but it also wouldn't be very healthy or enjoyable, and eating a well-rounded diet is important to me, so I try to make my sandwiches reflect that, and that means more than just cheap meat, lettuce and tomato on white or wheat slices. The cost adds up quickly when you are using higher quality proteins (meat, dairy, or veggie), higher quality and healthier breads, and an assortment of vegetables on your sandwich, and enough to be properly satiated and carry you until the end of the work day or dinner. The bottom line is... I've found you basically have to sacrifice quality, time, health, or some combination of the three, in order to actually save money by making your own sandwiches, and the savings usually do not outweigh the costs.

How much do you spend on a sandwich and I’ll see if I can make you a sandwich that costs less

$8-13, depending on size and quality. If it's a $13 sandwich, it is usually rather large, and I can save a half for another meal, so it's kind of like 2 sandwiches, so in that sense I'd be spending $6.50/per sandwich, even better deal.

Park in the furthest spot in a parking lot to walk a little more.

Not only is this good for walking more, but you'll usually find a parking spot quicker and get out quicker.

When I go to the grocery store, I always park at least a few spaces away from the other cars. I get into the store a lot faster than the people who sit for five minutes waiting for someone to vacate a spot close in, and when I'm ready to leave, there isn't anyone blocking me from leaving while they walk behind me with their shopping carts or sit right behind me with their blinker on, waiting for the guy two cars up to leave.

I can play the most adrenalin rush giving games for hours on end and still fall asleep 5mins after turning of the pc

Yay to my genes

sorry if it's a dumb question, but what the hell do you do for that hour before bed? Reading gets me alert and makes me sleepier next time I read and anything physical such as cleaning also gets my heart rate up.

I'll make lunch for tomorrow, do chores like unload the dishwasher or wash dishes, play with my cats for a bit, or talk on the phone for a bit with a friend. Honestly if you get into a routine you'll start to look forward to that hour where you unplug as an opportunity to do things you wouldn't normally.

I tried getting into green tea, but I always gravitate back to Lady Grey. Oh well.

Slightly related, one time i was at Disney World coming off of Space Mountain and there’s a little conveyor belt machine that moves you along after the ride and it like malfunctioned and stopped and everyone was just standing there like “OMG WHAT DO WE DO” and somebody yelled “JUST WALK” and it was hilarious like nobody thought to walk.

I also just wanted to say I hate when people stand on escalators and block the way for people to get through, like they’re still meant to walk up, it’s supposed to make it a quicker alternative than stairs. But if you wanna stand there that’s fine, just don’t block the path.

Yes, stand on the right, walk on the left, it's great when people adhere to that.

Depending on the green tea it may actually have more caffeine than the coffee.

Examples, please

Ok, so, there is a special green tea you can get online that has as much or a little more caffeine than coffee, but, tbh, I was thinking about black tea.

[A non-sponsored example based solely off of their website: but don't quote me on this, just did a quick search. I actually might buy some just to see what it's like. I typiclly drink exclusively black tea but herbals with more of a kick would be cool]

And on average black tea can have the same amount of caffeine as a moderately strong cup of coffee.

Depending on how well you research this, it may actually not have more than coffee ever at all.

I replied to another comment on the specifics, there are some specialty teas that do have more caffeine than coffee.

But! what I was thinking of was black tea, that generally has as much caffeine as a weak to medium strength coffee.

👍

Yeah and I'm not sure how it's more hydrating, either.

I mean it is kinda the opposite of hydrating as tea is a diuretic. On the plus side though green tea is less acidic and is known to have a host of other benefits.

The major issue for the body with regard to coffee is (arguably) that it is incredibly acidic.

So swapping a cup out here and there is still a good idea but if you're looking to cut out or limit caffeine then water is the better option.

I guess cause caffiene's a diuretic?

How do you drink so much coffee, I drink like 5 espresso in a week lol

Bringing lunch every day has been awesome. Everyone here buys $12 lunches every day, but me and the bring your lunch crew just have leftovers from dinner. Super easy

Jokes on you. I read a 369 page novel all in one night last night and havent slept at all!

Yay for insomnia!...fml

Meditate. Do not except to levitate and be able to resist fire after it. It really helps you to calm down.

Your not really selling it, levitating and resisting fire are sure fire ways to get people to meditate

Hey there is one guy that uses it to resist extreme cold.

I think they made a movie about him, called Doctor Strange or something

Pretty sure it was called Captain America but it doesn't get to the cold point until the end

Wim Hoff is his name

as a Canadian you have peaked my interest

His name's Wim Hof, they call him The Iceman.

Nah mate that's Kimi Raikkonen

Can confirm, I work outside in the winter (-40 C on the worst of days), and just meditating on a mantra or deep breathing really helps to take the mind off the cold

He can also control his body and it’s internal actions consciously. It’s incredible, and anyone can do his method at any time.

I use it to fight cold feet. That's surely quite the same.

Wim Hof! Dude is a badass.

Don't expect it for a few decades

Start by building up a resistance to negative emotional stimuli by examining the feeling as you're meditating rather than trying to suppress or avoid it

When you've mastered that should you move on to physical discomfort, then, eventually, pain.

When pain is only an indication that something is not good for your body rather than something you're hurt by, you can begin to build up a resistance to thermal fluctuations, and, finally, gravity.

This is said in jest, but those first two steps are real and can have a huge positive impact.

and controlling your bodies temperature is true, pretty well documented too

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2002/04/meditation-changes-temperatures/

Learning to accept your thoughts without judgement as you meditate helps so much in the rest of your life. In the past if I dropped a spoon while emptying the dishwasher, I would swear at myself and be annoyed. As I have become better at accepting things, I drop a spoon and laugh at the fact that I'm clumsy and continue with my business without those negative thoughts running through my head

I was under the impression meditating actually is about "avoiding" it. That you just want to let thoughts pass you by and try to separate yourself from your thinking so to speak.

It depends on the type

Mindfulness, and even the more traditional "empty your mind" is basically about stepping back from ypurself and observing. With the "empty your mind" you're supposed to let the thoughts go without judgement as a way to stop your mind from racing all over the place.

Legit meditation is not about "emptying your mind." Observe without judgement. There is always something in the mind. It will never be empty, and so many people who try meditation quit because they aren't achieving the impossible and think they're doing it wrong.

Don't be silly. That's not how you fly. Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

You're talking about flying, I was talking about levitating.

The two are very similar, and once you're in the air, there's virtually no difference, but the paths to getting there are wildly different

But that's what they said: "do not [meditate] *except* to levitate and be able to resist fire"

Having those abilities really helps you calm down.

Personally I find it easier to calm down while I'm levitating and resisting fire.

Smh you normies can’t shoot fireballs, don’t even meditate with me then

I thought those are some of the power ups you get from no fap

You must be American

This. It's basically allowing yourself to sit quietly for a few minutes a day. just 10-15 minutes of not having to do anything, not having to respond to every impulsive thought and trust me, there are far, far more of those than most of us even realize. First time you meditate, it feels like you're stepping into a mental equivalent of a hurricane.

I’ve always told myself that there’s no possible way I have so much to do in one day, that I can’t even dedicate 10-20 minutes for meditation (even on super busy days). Like, no one’s schedule is that jam-packed.

This is the main reason I like video games. I get immersed and it clears mind of all the crap from the day.

You can do anything meditatively, so why not video games? I'm glad you have your way to deal with all the crap of the day. I do the same, honestly, gaming and reading. But I must say the three activities are on very different levels. For me, gaming is mostly a distraction/break; reading is a break but it also helps me work through problems; meditating is a real investigation of your mind and your self. It is hard and sometimes even intimidating work.

I once got really angry while meditating; a particularly traumatic memory came up and instead of keeping the anger under control, I just let it happen to see how it would play out. That was an interesting experience, I must say, having all the physical reactions to being angry - shaking, clenched fists, clenches teeth, etc - and just allowing it to happen without the need to jump up and squash it back down.

Facing your negative thoughts head on is such a weird experience. You always fight/avoid them because its easier, then once you face it and think about it its like "this isnt so bad, theyre literally just thoughts."

It is weird. I was meditating fairly regularly for a while and at one point I just caught a glimpse of a painful memory and it being immediately, instantaneously squashed. It felt like that cartoon where someone is being yanked off stage by a big hook. It's only because I had been able to slow everything down that I noticed it at all. Made me wonder how often this happens when I don't even notice at all. Minds are weird!

I expect you expected to type 'expect', except it came out 'except'.

Expect expect, except except.

/r/WordAvalanches

No, you should only meditate when you need to levitate or resist fire.

This just made me realize that except and expect are the same word but with the c and p switched

Meditate daily. Meditating here and there can help short term stress, sure. But continued daily practice is where you begin to see it have a real impact on your life.

Why?

I don't know the science behind it but I was recommended meditation by specialists for my tinnitus and TMJ and during the group session where they told us the basics of mindfulness/meditation, they said that meditation can lead to changes in the brain. And these changes are more pronounced after 8 weeks of continuous (daily) meditations.

I'm currently on my 100th day in a row of meditating and I think it's had a huge impact on my life.

How has meditating impacted your life? And more specifically with your tmd? im currently at a point where when im not busy doing things, im constantly thinking about the pain in my jaw and the sensitivity of my ears. Ive been meditating for about 10 minutes every day for the last few weeks, and its difficult to see any progress..

Stoked to hear you have made progress though, gives me a small glimmer of hope

I feel you as that is how I felt most days, especially when the pain was bad. I used to dread finishing work because it meant my mind wouldn't be occupied and I'd just think about the pain, which would just make it worse. Meditation has helped in reframing the way I think about - I used to get anxious and think about how the pain is never going to get any better, and how much it hurts, etc. But with meditation, I'm able to be more aware of when I'm feeling that way and the mental as well as physical sensations that come with it. And I think that helps, in the sense of just knowing that the pain is present but I'm going to do my best to not let it bother me and to know that it will, eventually, pass. I find that focusing on my breathing helps me to not get so angry over it either - whether that's the TMJ or the tinnitus or the sensitive hearing. Saying all that though, there are days when the pain is so bad that no amount of meditating is going to make it better (which isn't the point of meditation anyway) so that's when I resort to more aggressive solutions such as medication.

Can I ask what you're using to meditate? Are you doing it on your own by just closing your eyes? Or Youtube or an app? When I was using Youtube, I found it very hard to feel like it was making a difference because I disliked using the same video too often and it was hard to find good quality ones. I switched to using Headspace and that has helped a lot because it slowly guides you through the very basics of meditation, which I think Youtube lacks.

Hmm its an answer i expected but didn't really want haha! I hope to get to the bottom of this, im in my mid 20s and the thought of dealing with this problem for the rest of my life is so overwhelming.. May i ask what medication you might resort to?

Yeah sure! I dont use any apps, or YouTube, since i find it quite distracting.. My routine at the moment is lying down, with my feet touching sole to sole, and will breath deeply for a minute, and then return ti normal breathing for 5. Then Ill do tmd exercises, like jaw and neck stretches, and then Ill sit in lotus pose for another 10. First half of that 10 is focusing on relaxing, and clearing my mind, then for the next 5 minutes or so i focus on a particular thing, may it be acknowledging thoughts, creating positive thoughts, and sometimes negative thoughts to put it all in perspective.. I also sometimes listen to a mindfullness speech specifically related to tmd. Ill link it below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTTyJWVujwc&index=54&t=58s&list=UU-ZcIcXtEpg8ko3NcuUHcyw

I'm in my mid 20s too so I understand as I don't want to have to deal with it the rest of my life either, but I'm finding I've been able to cope with it better with the meditation and with the support of the TMJ specialists. I don't know which country you're from so the drug names might be different, but I found that ibuprofen tablets are the best at relieving the pain - unfortunately, my doctor said I can't take those anymore as I'm at risk of stomach bleeds, so now I resort to different medications/treatments depending on the pain (outlined below):

  • In a specific area: heat pack pressed against the area + pain gel (ibuprofen gel or voltarel gel)
  • When the pain feels like it's in my gums/teeth: a small bit of Orajel in the affected area
  • Pain all over: Co-codamol (paracetamol + codeine) or, if it's really bad, Co-dydramol (paracetamol + dihydrocodeine)
  • For sensitive hearing or the tinnitus: rain/fire sounds with either Noisli or Rainymood

​

In regards to your routine, that's very interesting as mine is a little different. I don't lay down because I end up feeling sleepy haha. But I do start with deep breathing, then close my eyes and settle in to the space around me before focusing on my breathing. The difference between yours and mine is that if my mind wanders, as it usually does, the aim is to acknowledge that and then go back to focusing on the breathing. I do this for about 10 minutes every day.

Also, for the jaw and neck stretches, was that recommended by a specialist? I was told to do the same and then about a year later the doctor told me not to as it was no longer nationally recommended by the NHS in the UK, so I've stopped. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss some more.

And thanks for the link - I'm at work at the moment but will check it out later!

It allows you to slowly change the habit behaviour of your mind. Normally your the mind is constantly active - bouncing quickly between ideas, reacting to them all automatically, and identifying very strongly with the mind. This is a very strong, well-established, long-term behaviour pattern. It feels normal, but its not very good for peace of mind.

When you practice meditation, you're slowly teaching your mind to work in a different way. When meditating your mind is more focussed, more settled, not so hungry. You try not to identify so strongly with your thoughts. This way of thinking is in stark contrast to normal thought behaviour - this is why meditation is challenging, it has a lot of momentum built up against it!

If you spend 20 minutes meditating, thats only like 2% of your waking hours on that day. After a meditation session, you'll often feel a sense of glowing calmness - however this fades alarmingly quickly when you dive back into your daily life.

Daily practice allows this altered state of mind to develop into a habit. It allows you to slowly build the momentum of a more healthy habit of thought behaviour, one that is not so attached and not so reactive. With time and continued practice, the "normal" erratic, attached behaviour of the mind begins to give way to that calmer, more mindful thought behaviour.

Then you begin to see changes for the better throughout all aspects of your life.

I've never been good at meditating or clearing my mind, but recently I've started doing yoga, and even just the 10 minutes at the end of class where we just lie there has really been helping me. I still have random thoughts racing through my head, but I try my best to clear them away and focus on the instructors voice. I go on Friday nights after work, and it really helps me decompress after a long, stressful week, and puts me in a better mood for the weekend. I want to work my way up to being able to meditate on my own, tough!

Your goal when meditating shouldn't be to clear your mind. Just observe it. Observe it racing, observe it obsessing, observe it being quiet, whatever.

Like the other guy said, I feel it is a misconception that you should focus on becoming of a silent mind. Rather, a quieter mind is a byproduct of meditation.

If you have thoughts that is okay. Just watch them, observe them, and then return to your breathe.

Oh that makes sense. I feel like I try to clear my mind and it turns into me just narrating "my mind is clear... I'm not thinking about anything... don't think about the grocery list... you can respond to that email later... just breathe in and out..." etc, but that in itself is still thinking.

How long do you typically meditate for? Or is it just until you feel like you're done?

Try 5 min, then try 10, etc. it all helps

Youre always going to be thinking. Just let your thoughts happen without judgement.

Lol tbh I do not practice what I preach. This is just information that I've come to learn through others. I can count the times I've meditated on one hand. Once I did it with a countdown from 20 minutes but found myself to just be waiting for the clock to run out.

Maybe 20 minutes is too much for me currently or maybe the idea of a timer made me anticipate the ending. The other couple times I tried it without a timer felt more natural and I did it until I felt I should stop

I really should get back into the swing of things tho

Your breathe is your ally.

Its pretty much the same thing, then. Instead of your instructor's voice, you focus on breathing.

Nobody tried teaching me how to do it, i just kinda do it my own way.

Sit as comfortably as you can. I go criss cross. Relax everything in your body, but I like to keep by back straight to breath better.

Then, breath deeply. I go through the nose.

And like I said, its important to focus on your breathing. I have ADD, so its hard for me to focus and my mind gets a little wild like yours, but after a couple minutes trying to just relax, i can do it ez pz.

Tl dr; how I meditate: sit comfortably, on a floor, couch, bed, doesn't matter, criss cross legs is how I sit, relax your whole body, i put my qrms in my lap and relax them as well, keep back straight to breath better, focus on breathing. None of that "ohm" shit is necessary, or that generic monk OK hand sign like you see in some cartoon or show/movie.

Oh that sounds doable. I'll have to try that!

Headspace app has (some) free guided meditations with videos explaining the concepts quite simply. Really good.

It's not about clearing your mind. It's about bringing your awareness to the present moment. Simply observe your thoughts and let them pass by...like leaves floating in stream. Here's a beginner's guide to mindfulness meditation.

Yoga is the shit.

All these years wasted meditating. Then how the hell do I levitate?

Contact Dal-sim.

This should be further up. Also meditation doesn't mean sitting on the floor and chanting mantras and shit. It could just be 10 minutes out of your day to take some time for yourself and think about what's gone on that day, observe those feelings and clear your mind for a good nights rest.

I meditate daily and get sick of people making out like I'm doing some new age hippy thing. I honestly believe most if not all people would be in a far better place mentally if they took more time to check in with themselves.

https://youtu.be/8reCpb_39A8

Honestly, whenever I try that I just end up falling asleep. Yes, even sitting upright. I guess it's a good thing that it can calm me down so much but y'know. Not that helpful if I'm falling asleep.

I vendored all my fire resist gear after we stopped farming BWL.

People always say that, but like... how do you even start? What is a “good meditation”?

The concept seems like you’re supposed to step back from any work or stress and empty your mind. Personally if I’m doing a project at night and I get stuck or lose focus I’ll take a break, relax and meditate by taking a shower. I guess a bad mediation would be if you can’t stop thinking about the cause of stress. A successful mediation for me is if I can reset my mind and get back to being productive. A good way to achieve this is actually stepping away from the computer or location of the stress.

The "Waking Up" app is a really great course for beginners. Changed the game for me from thinking about it to doing it.

what about that monk who set himself on fire and just kept sitting tho

Stop drinking.

I stopped my weekend binge-drinking back in October. Down from 20-60 drinks a week to 0-2.

Physically, I feel a lot better in almost every regard.

Mentally, the shit I was suppressing with alcohol has floated back to the surface and I kinda hate it.

Got to deal with it to get through it

Go see a therapist

If they are American, it's not likely that they can.

What kind of bullshit statement is that?

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If they were buying 60 drinks a week at a bar they were spending a lot more than $400/mo

Bottom shelf whiskey/vodka and the occasional six pack of beer, I probably spent $80-120 a month on it.

you can go to therapy one to two times a month for that

You're assuming these were all at bar. It's much much more likely they were drinking at home. A handle of liquor is 1.75 liters, approximately 59 ounces, or 40 shots worth, so depending on the quality of liquor, that's maybe $150 a month or less.

They never said they want to bars. Buying cheap liquor would cost $100 at most per month for that amount of alcohol.

They never said they bought cheap liquor

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Glad we got somewhere with this chain of comments. Jfc

My insurance has a $4000 deductible, so it's basically worthless. I have a referral for a therapist and for a psychiatrist but what it will actually cost me is a mystery so I will probably never go.

And yeah, I almost never drank at bars. It was almost 100% alone in my own dingy apartment. Usually it was bottom shelf whiskey or vodka, but I'd spring for "craft" beers that ran $10-12 a six pack a couple times a month.

Almost every Saturday afternoon, and most Sundays, I'd wake up face down on the floor. Makes me sick just thinking about it.

I hope you will consider calling the therapist and asking about sliding scale. A phone call won't cost anything, and you can decide whether you can afford it.

This isn't true either though. I paid $120/ month while I was seeing mine. $30 per session is affordable for many even if the budget is tight like mine was. Once you find a therapist you'd like to try all you need to do is ask if they offer a 'sliding scale' for payment. It's literally that easy. They ask how much you make a month and give you a price based off that. You can always try to negotiate down too. If that price is still too high ask if they can do therapy pro bono or say no thanks and call another clinic. Therapist are mental health professionals first and foremost, they understand that therapy costs a ton. They want to make you mentally healthy before making money. At least the good therapists. Please, if you want to see a therapist go see one.

Hell, even if you have insurance, even if you have low deductible insurance, mental health is incredibly expensive because it's difficult to bill without a diagnosis. I have good insurance but it would cost me 150/session. A lot of my anxieties are literally based around money, so I'm not sure how going to the therapist is going to help that. It also does not help that to really get good help you need to find a therapist that you click with and if you don't, you may spend thousands of dollars finding a good one.

You got quoted $150 a session? Ask for a lower rate. Ask if they do a sliding scale. Seek a different therapist.

I live in a high cost of living area, 150 is cheap for my area. Sliding scales do not apply to me, because the assumption is higher income = high disposable income, which is absolutely not true.

Who are you seeing for therapy? I pay like $60 a visit

Wow, really? The prices I see in my area (Canada) are like $210 CAD per hour.

You're assuming if you're American you have no or poor insurance, or can't afford to see a therapist. Sounds like you're projecting. Just about everyone I know would be able to see a therapist no problem.

Also many work with a sliding scale for fees, and charge what you can afford.

Replied to the person above just this. Seriously people, sliding scale makes therapy affordable. That's the whole point. Find a therapist and call to ask about sliding scale payment.

Your experience is known as privilege.

So the guy has a job and can afford health care, why do you feel the need to attack him? "Privilege" is bullshit.

Basically he is ignoring the experience of people in need due to the fact that his nice life has hidden him from those in need, and assuming that everyone’s experience is the same as his own.

No, he is responding to the idiotic comment that just said because you are American you likely can't afford it. So who is it that is assuming that everyone's experience is the same?

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I call bullshit on that statement. I know many uninsured Americans such as myself who lied about being insured to avoid tax penalties.

[deleted]

Doesn't justify "not likely".

[deleted]

You're correct.

Weird, just about everyone I know can't afford a therapist, particularly the process of shopping around for one that is actually a good fit, which is prohibitively expensive on top of being demoralizing.

Being American =/= Lacking insurance

lol this guy over here assuming that a full 50%+ of Americans can afford mental health care.

My insurance covers counseling with a $25 copay AFTER I hit my $4400 deductible.

So essentially I have no mental health coverage.

I love how you haven't stopped completely, just greatly reduced the amount. I stand at around 1-2 drinks a month (but I've never gone beyond that)

That shit was always still there you just were never sober enough to recognize it. You cant heal until you face it. You got this friend :)

20-60?? You might have not just have improved your life, but added decades to it.

sobriety has brought me constant analysis of previous poor decisions and it's making me want to drink heavily again. but I'm not going to

How long have you been sober? I'm six years sober, and I have definitely gone through more than one period like that. But I've found that everyone I get through those times, I feel better and more open than ever. If you can find someone you can talk to about it, or if you're not comfortable with that wiring it out in a journal can be a big help.

Personally I don't do AA, but I think having people to talk to who understand what you're going through and won't judge you for the shit you've done is there greatest strength. Or even just going to the meetings and heading other people tell their stories if you don't want to talk, and realizing you're not the only one.

One day at a time. You got this.

Edit: forgot to mention r/sober, there is a very welcoming and supportive community over there.

Switch to another coping mechanism. Yoga was always super helpful for my mind. Others recommend gym, but so far my third day ever and its not working (its 3 days why am i not ripped yet?)

Its in the fire you’re strengthened

Getting clean's the easy part. next comes life.

Mentally, the shit I was suppressing with alcohol has floated back to the surface and I kinda hate it.

Would have been easier to deal with without drinking it under wraps for awhile though.

Tomorrow is my 4 month sober date and my life has been on an upward trajectory since then.

I'm only two weeks in from breaking free of my addictions and yeah, it's been really nice so far. I used to fear a sober life, like nothing would be interesting without smoking or drinking, but it's been really good to finally let go of that which has been holding me back for too many years.

Hey, I’m almost at 2 years and some days are still hard but it’s worth it - everything started getting better when I got sober. Best of luck - see you over at r/stopdrinking ?

Well done! I appreciate the sentiment, but truthfully alcohol was my secondary vice. I drank because it was convenient to get when I didn't have any marijuana to smoke, which was always my first choice. "Hey hey hey, smoke weed every day" isn't good, especially when you smoke almost every single day for seven years. Getting high was all I would ever think about, and getting fucked up mattered more than anything else, so I drank alcohol when the weed wasn't available. And the drinking was getting worse, where I got to the point of slamming down up to a half liter of bourbon and not feeling hungover.

Good for you! Keep it up! I was forced sober because of an unrelated issue with my liver, but I have to say that I feel great, and I'm sure you'll feel better and better every day! It's hard, but never be afraid to reach out to talk to someone if you need it.

I was definitely headed that way if I didn't stop. Good for you for stopping, even then. My mom was given a warning by a doctor about her liver and when she refused to quit, it cost her her life. Stay strong and never stop making yourself the best possible version of yourself that you can be.

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Oh haha, I was referring to marijuana, but I actually did quit cigarettes three years ago. I've been vaping since January 2016, so I guess you can say I haven't fully quit, but everything's been a huge improvement over cigs.

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You know it buddy. Eventually I'll go down to 0 mg nicotine juice and then quit altogether!

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That's very good to hear. Right now the vape is a huge crutch and it almost never leaves my hand when I'm not busy.

Well done you! Hope you can keep at it and see those horizons expand.

Thanks. I have absolutely zero desire to go back to my old lifestyle.

What do you drink in the evening, after work? I can’t bear the idea of quitting drinking because I don’t see what can replace beer or wine as my evening drinks.

Well, I was slamming a third to a half of a liter of bourbon every night that I didn't have any bud to smoke. Since I've gone completely sober I've only been drinking water and ginger ale. I think quitting completely was easier for me because it contributed to my girlfriend of five years breaking up with me. I had to take a very hard look in the mirror at myself and the decisions I was making that made me lose the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I see. Thanks for the reply. I am not sure I’d be able to settle for water after a day of work. I suppose it has become something of a ritual for me to have a beer or two in the evening. I want to cut down on it, but something must take its place — and nothing tastes as good as a cold one in the evening.

I think a beer or two is okay, as long as that's all you're having. Just be careful those two beers don't turn into a six pack a night or more, or you start drinking hard liquor instead. If you really want to stop though, try to only drink a couple of beers every other night, and then eventually only a couple of times a week. Never be afraid to ask for help, either. It can feel embarrassing to admit a substance is taking control of you, but you're not the only one who has had troubles. The support of others goes a very long way to adding inner strength.

Thanks. Actually, I’ve almost never had more than two beers a night — trying to condition myself not to have more than one beer a night now. As for hard liquor, I have over twenty bottles of it in my home bar at any given time, but I seldom touch it. Like I said, I drink beer because I want to drink something, not because I want to get drunk. I could never understand the appeal of that.

Good, and I hope you never get to that point. It started out innocent enough for me: since I love video games, I figured they'd be even better if I played them stoned or drunk. It certainly is more fun, and before long, I wed to two activities together, and would get quickly bored with video games if I didn't have anything to smoke or drink. Over time, daily use of these substances leads to an addiction.

Just be careful, that's how my addiction started. Few months clean now. It took 4 years to go from two to a six pack a night, very slow, but it happened. I recommend drinking something like flavored sparkling water instead, that's how I stopped.

Not to mention, you don't realize how much even two beers can fuck with your sleep until you stop. I'm loving my sleep again.

That's not too excessive honestly...

I know what you mean. I moved to Germany 5 years ago and wherever I've lived there's been a supermarket next to my apartment or now, literally opposite my work. So easy just to grab a couple of beers on the way home. Trying to cut down though because I've had stomach problems for the past few years, I've gained weight (85kg, 23% BF currently) and quite unfit despite playing soccer for the past 2 years.

I don't know how insensitive you can be to come to a chain of messages related to recovering alcoholics and repeatedly insist on things like"nothing tastes as good as a cold one". drink your beer and gtfo.

I’m saying that I want to cut down on alcohol, giving my reasons for drinking, and asking for advice. Are you always so resentful?

Try non alcoholic beer or start with 1 non alcoholic and 1 normal beer since it's the flavour you are after until you get used to it.

Thanks for the advice! I think a combination of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beer may be a good idea.

Kombucha or tea! It's not hard after the first week or so... the urge is totally gone (at least it was for me) after 2 months, even at parties. I drank every night for a decade.

Soda water. It usually helps quench my desire for a beer. Tea works too.

It’s all about breaking the habit and replacing the ritual with something else. After a couple weeks it feels normal again to not drink.

Thanks for the advice. I’ll try soda water. Tea is great too — I drink it almost daily — but it takes time to brew it and to wait for it to cool, while beer is ready for consumption instantly. This is an issue for me: when I come home from work, I want something to drink right now, not in twenty minutes. I’ve been trying coke while waiting for tea to be ready, but I don’t always succeed...

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Thank you! There have been periods in my life when I didn’t drink (say, when on some serious medication), and I did feel better then. I don’t want to quit entirely, but I’ll make use of your suggestions about where to get bubbles.

Theres always non-alcoholic beer and wine. I have no idea how they actually tastes though.

Non alcoholic Busch is surprisingly drinkable, tastes almost identical to Busch Light. Perfect for times you can't drink (pregnancy, cutting back/quitting alcohol, being the DD, whatevs) and really want a beer. O'Douls was never up my alley, but there's a few people I've known who've liked it.

Never tried non alcoholic wine, though

Right! I’ve almost forgotten it exists. I tried a couple of brands a few years ago, and I even liked one of them. Could give it another try.

I found after the second month it got a lot easier, as in going back to drinking felt like more effort than not drinking (two years now.)

For the money I save alone it was worth it. I've been able to indulge in so many hobbies etc that I never could before.

That's something I'm really looking forward to. I'm putting the money that I was spending on weed and alcohol and putting it into a savings account.

2 weeks is awesome work! Shit man, sometimes going 5 minutes is rough. Keep it up!

Way to go. Congrats.

Gongrats!

Keep it up!

First day, hoping to be able to say the same in 4 months!

Well done on making that decision. Reddit believes in you!

Thank you! I've been pretty self destructive of late and I realized it was because I was drunk and making myself a bad place and then getting drunk to deal with it. So gotta man up and change it.

I don't mean any disrespect or offense by this, but when I hear of people who've gone X months or years sober, I have to ask: Why? I understand in most cases, people have had a huge drinking problem in the past, but why do you have to cut yourself off entirely? Why not moderate it instead?

Are you just incapable of moderation? Like, if you get even a single drop of alcohol in your system, do you just go nuts? Again, I mean no disrespect. It's your body, and I'm not at all implying that you have to drink at all, much less ruin your recovery. I'm just trying to understand the whole picture.

Not OP, but am someone who’s sober. Almost anyone dropping a sober date is a recovering alcoholic/addict. Almost all of them tried moderation at some point and found they couldn’t control their drinking, or that when they could they didn’t enjoy moderated drinking, it’s not usually that they just up and decided they need to full stop. And on the whole, it’s much easier to avoid falling into your shit by avoiding the first drink than trying to keep it to “reasonable” levels. For alcoholics having a drink or two will just trigger a craving for more.

Some people are able to take it from heavy drinking to moderation, but the ones that need to get sober are the ones that can’t.

That's fair enough. I figured that was the case, but just couldn't be sure without confirmation, so thanks for the insight. I appreciate it.

just hit 4 years here! keep going! it only gets better! <3

Congrats, bud!

I just cleared one month the other day and I'm so grateful that I did.

I look forward to getting to four months.

congratutions. Having been sober for sometime i thought i would share this with you. i found the first 3-4 months kind of a honeymoon meaning it all seemed quite straight forward. at about 4 months my brain seem to start housecleaning. alot of old issues got dealt with emotionally, physiologically? anyways for me this " housecleaning" went on for about 2 yrs. quite a ride i might add. and of course for about 2 yrs you have no friends because all your "friends "are drunks. stick with it because i must say in all my years of sobriety not a day has gone bye where i regreated getting sober.

I just poured out all my alcohol and decided to commit to quitting 2 days ago. I love finding those few proud sober people out there. My life is pretty much like the wreckage after the storm right now so I’m really looking forward to it getting better.

Stay strong! You can do it!

Congratulations!

3months for me, although I still get the "but, why?" questions from friends

Awesome work man! Keep it up!

Congratulations on your clean time, that's incredible man. I'm 8 days clean from heroin. It's fucking rough. I hope I can say I'm where you are in 4 months though. If I can get that far.

Today is 6 months for me! 😁

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Personally I like W̧̮̯͚̰̳a͖̟͖̟̥̺t҉̼̜͓̪̜ér̛̥̝̣̻͇

How about we do... ♫♪ 𝓐𝓝𝓨𝓦𝓐𝓨 ♫♪.

r/waterniggas

Do you ever think how little sense your comment makes and how deprived of humour that is... yet 100 people find it funny because of that one single picture?

I thought it was funny because of the font, not a picture... What picture have you seen?

https://pics.onsizzle.com/Facebook-4f7f14.png

I was sure the guy was referring to this lmao

It makes people read that as WAATUUURRR

I always read it as a whisper with an inhalation sound in the background lmao

Do you ever think about how much of a stick in the mud you're being

Now I'm confused - this is in direct conflict with "drink more water"

Eat Ice. Duh.

Harvard wants to know your location

Even better, eat frozen alcohol. No drinking!

Make sure it's not made of soap first.

Whiskey on the rocks.

eat more water

ice's good

Not for your teeth. Inject water directly into your veins.

Also eat more vodka

Finding a balance sucks. I hate how ingrained into society it is. Quitting drinking would be a lot easier if I didn't have coworkers, friends, and even family wanting to drink on the weekends/even during the week. "Wanna get a beer after work?" "Want to go to that brewery this weekend?" "Want to just hang out and have a few drinks?". I'm always down to...

So I decided to give up drinking for lent. It's the first time I have stopped drinking and when hanging out with friends, we generally drink. I really thought it would be hard to do all of the same things with friends while they were drinking but it hasn't been too bad. I still go out to breweries, stay out for friends birthdays, etc. While part of me still wants a beer, I really do feel so much better. My face looks like its lost 10 pounds alone, I have more energy and I crave it less each day. My friends laugh a bit about it now but no one seems to mind anymore.

I didn't think I would ever do this but decided to in the moment and have been happy to try it.

It's perfectly acceptable to say no to a drink or just order something non-alcoholic. You have to want to quit.

If your friend shame you for ordering non-alcoholic, you need new friends.

They don't. I just fold under peer pressure, but idk if you can even call it that because it takes 0 convincing for me to order a beer.

Oh, I get it. It’s tough, especially if you’re not used to saying no. But I think if you really want to quit, or at least cut back, it’s 100% on you. So if you can’t say no when you’re at the bar, then maybe head home a few times instead, until you’ve got it down.

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Oookay you talked me into it!

Im on day two and a half and I barely found the keyboard. I'm beginning to think this whole dehydration thing is real. Are we sure this is a good idea?

Didn't expect to see this here scrolling through, why you gotta do me like that

I expected it to be higher

Just didn't want to hear it

Yeah stop that too :)

cos it’s for the best. I had the same thought as you, and it hit me doubly. so long, the bottle helped me, and I’m realizing now all the setback and pain it’s brought too.

And stop smoking.

(I put this here for me, I’m at the point where I hate smoking yet I still go out for a cigarette or buy another pack after I give away my last cigarette)

Like... completely? But I really enjoy that glass of brandy on my game night...

That's a hard question to answer, since everyone is different.

For my part, I know that if I start drinking, I'm not really gonna stop for the night, so I have to make sure not to start. If you can stop before it goes too far, more power to you and a part of me will always wish I could be in your shoes.

That said, ever since I quit about a month ago, I've felt worlds better. Before, it felt like my mind was shackled to the bottle and constantly waiting for the chance to get another drink.

That's not the case anymore.

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Thanks, man.

And, like I said, everyone is different. I'm not gonna be the guy getting in the way of someone else's enjoyment, by any means, and, at this point, I'm having way more fun sticking to water, the occasional soda, and some mocktails.

The only real issue is that it's a fairly recent thing and, in my family, only really my immediate family knows, and I kinda don't want to bring it up to anyone else, because of how it can be seen by them (which is childish, I know, but every family has its drama), but that's just the anxiety you get before ripping off a band-aid.

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I'm having a similar experience, and my reasons for stopping match what you said above exactly. I'm on day 53 now, I feel like a completely different person already.

Drinking isn't just socially acceptable. Its almost expected

Hit the nail on the head, there.

One of my cousins is getting married later this year and his fiance said that everybody in their bridal party (which includes me) had better have strong livers, or something that probably sounds cute if you don't have a problem with alcohol.

Guess I'll break the ice on that this weekend when I see them...

Drinking is weird for me. Ever since I can remember, it's always been a 50/50 of either "this will be fun" or "I now have a headache and feel horrible". I'm a big guy, like over 100kg. I make sure to stay hydrated and not drink on an empty stomach. And yet I've had hangovers from a single beer on movie night. Or on the flip side, I've woken up still drunk and then the drunkedness just goes away over the next few hours, no hangover at all.

All in all, since it's been so unpredictable for me it never became anything close to a habit or problem. It gets really annoying on holidays or parties or whatever, like you clear your schedule and want to have some fun with family/friends and a few sips in you realize, yeah, you're not drinking tonight. My body takes away that option lmao.

Honestly, most of the time when I drink, it's not even enough to get me any kind of buzz. I've just developed a liking for the taste.

I'm sorry you have to put in so much effort when I don't even need to think about it. Sometimes I wish I could drink anytime and be sure I'll have a good time. I hope you do well in the future :)

I'm sorry you have to put in so much effort when I don't even need to think about it.

I appreciate the sentiment, but there's no need to feel sorry about it, honestly. There was a lot of effort required at first, but it gets easier as time goes on, and I'm pretty sure it's because I quit before I did anything I would regret. There are some horror stories on /r/stopdrinking that could've easily been me if I kept going.

Plus, the benefits way outweigh the costs to me. I never worry about waking up with a hangover or still drunk from the night before, I'm way more relaxed, I generally have my wits about me, I'm losing weight, it's great.

If that’s litterally all you drink then that’s completely fine imo

well, I mix it with coke...

ike... completely?

nope, that's bullsihit

Men should drink in moderation. All the studies show this. Heart disease kills. Moderate alcohol consumption in men is protective of the heart. The liver is regenerative, the heart is not. Cancer risk from alcohol consumption is very small from moderate consumption.

Studied from Russia, where men are literally drinking themselves to an early grave by the millions has shown it takes a metric fuck tonne of alcohol to actually increase all cause mortality in men. Something like 1875mL of vodka a week, every week, for years.

If you have 10-30 drinks a month, and keep it to no more than 5 or 6 drinks in one sitting, you are significantly improving your life expectancy as a male vs men who have 0 drinks a month.

Care to link any of those studies? :)

https://www.sevencountriesstudy.com/alcohol-all-cause-mortality-and-long-term-survival/#prettyPhoto

Among regular consumers of alcoholic beverages in the Zutphen Study, average alcohol intake increased from 8 g/d in 1960 to 18 g/d in 1985 and then decreased to 13 g/d in 2000. All-cause mortality during 40 years of follow-up was 25% lower in men who drank less than 20 g alcohol per day and on average 6 g/d compared to non-drinkers. Men average aged 50 with a long-term regular alcohol intake of 20 g/d or less, had a 2.3 years longer life expectancy than those who did not use alcohol.

http://www.onlinejacc.org/content/70/8/913

This Chart is awesome from this study. Shows the significant improvement in all cause mortality for those who drink 3 to 10 drinks a week compared to those who drink 0, but also show's just how damaging heavy drinking can be at >30 drinks a week.

a metric fuck tonne of alcohol to actually increase all cause mortality in men. Something like 1875mL of vodka a week

This doesn't seem like a metric fuck tonne.. I have a bit of a problem and I sometimes go through a half gallon (1.75L) in a week. That's about 3 nights of somewhat heavy drinking.

That’s not somewhat heavy drinking. That’s 13 shots of vodka 3 days a week. That’s heavy drinking.

That's definitely a drinking problem mate.

workin on it

As someone with over two years of sobriety, this. It completely changed my life for the better in all areas.

I only drink about 1-2 times per month and it's perfect.

My brother-in-law kicked smoking and started jogging. He now averages 40mi a week, running. He ran his first marathon a few years ago and didn't do as well as he expected. He started retracing his steps and arrived at his drinking. He cut his drinking down to weekends only and it's been much better.

The unexpected plus side of this is that drinking becomes a much better experience after you stop. (All of this assumes you don't have an addiction problem with alcohol)

I used to drink a ton in college and honestly it became a chore to get drunk. It was expensive, it was making me fat, and it would usually make me sick. Now that I drink like once a month, I can get drunk off a few drinks and it doesn't make me vomit because I shoved 100 oz of sugar and carbonation into my stomach.

I quit two years ago despite being early twenties and living in a big city. Best decision I ever made.

If you want to achieve everything you want in life, stop drinking poison daily. Life becomes easier.

Yep. Quitting made me lose weight and I stopped waking up feeling like shit every day. It didn't fix all my problems, of course, but it fixed more than I expected.

I've been sober a year and a half and I've accomplished more in that time than in the 12 year bender I was on

Stop bad habits. Start good habits

Day 2 of not drinking... I’m going to die tomorrow

Hey you got this!

Drinking is fine, just don't do it everyday.

I don't do it everyday, my problem is if I have 2 drinks I can't stop myself from having 15 more, and this happens at least every Friday and Saturday.

When I wake up on Sunday I must still have alcohol in my system because it takes a lot of effort not to pour a new one.

For some, it's not that easy.

Of course not, but for some it is.

The “stop drinking” advice is like someone who spends 8 hours a day on reddit and lost jobs and relationships because they can’t stop scrolling giving the general advice of “quit reddit”. Nah, I’m doing fine spending some downtime on reddit before I go to work while I wait for laundry to dry. It’s not hindering my life.

If alcohol is hindering your life, and you can’t cut down to a moderate amount, then sure, quit drinking. But don’t think that everyone who has 2 drinks after work on a Friday would have a better life if they quit drinking.

I don't think it was implied that 2 beers after work is identified as a problem, but at the same time you don't have to be passed out in puke in the gutter to be a good candidate to drink less. The people who were being addressed by the original comment know who they are, trust me.

This explained it better than I did while reddit-ing at the office. Lol. Never Reddit and drive.

Start drinking.

I’ve never had a substance/alcohol problem, but I would come home and have a beer or two maybe 2 nights a week. I tapered off and stopped drinking because I forgot to buy it during a grocery trip one time, and there is actually a big difference in my mood.

I feel so much better after quitting drinking. I don't have to be sick all the time and hate myself anymore. It really just makes you even more depressed but you don't realize at the time.

As of this week I'm not drinking during the work week and cutting back on weekends. Here's to being healthier.

I've already decided my last drink will be on my 30th birthday, if not before that.

This one has been difficult for me. For New Years I cut out liquor and have only been sticking with beer. And even then I typically don’t have more than one or two beers where before I would have 1 or 2 rum and cokes. Baby steps. But I’ll get there eventually.

Not to put a damper on progress, but 5% ABV of a 12 ounce beer equals 0.6 ounces of alcohol and 40% ABV (80 proof) of 1.5 ounces of liquor (a standard shot) equals 0.6 ounces of alcohol.

No worries, I'm aware it's about the same. The mixed drinks I typically ordered were doubles. But the biggest difference between the beer and the liquor is just how I act. The last couple of years liquor has been turning me into a sarcastic dickhead and oftentimes overly emotional and hyper aggressive for no real reason. Even just a couple drinks. But a couple of beers just mellows me out and eases any anxiety I may have and helps me fall asleep a little easier.

Not sure why liquor has that effect on me, even if it's the same alcohol content by volume to the beer. It may be completely placebo. But placebo or not, it definitely has a different effect. I'm currently on the path to paying off my bills, just became a homeowner, got a significant raise at work, things are getting better. Even when I went from liquor to beer it was almost a daily thing. Now 4 months later and I'm only having a couple beers maybe every 3 days. I'm thinking by the end of the year my new resolution will be to cut it all off completely.

Oh yeah, it's definitely easy to throw down a few mixed drinks in the amount of time that it might take to drink a single beer. When I have a mixed drink, I tend to make it a single shot in a much larger drink to slow down the rate of consumption. Like I'll put a shot of whiskey in the glass with a half ounce of triple sec and a dash of bitters and then top it off with a Coke Zero (tastes pretty much like the new Orange Vanilla Cokes). I'll then continue to top off the drink with the Coke Zero until that's all gone. At that point, i've had as much as I want to have for the evening and it's taken me a while to drink the whole thing.

For me, wine is what mellows me out, but it's tough not to finish a bottle if we open one, so that's a rare treat that we allow ourselves.

18 months and haven’t looked back once!

Okay I will stopp drinking water

Well, I’m sober 17 and a quarter years so far, so I’d say I’m doing well!

“It isn’t the drug that causes the harmful behavior—it’s the environment. An isolated rat will almost always become a junkie. A rat with a good life almost never will, no matter how many drugs you make available to him. As Bruce put it: he was realizing that addiction isn’t a disease. Addiction is an adaptation. It’s not you—it’s the cage you live in.”

9 days in.

Best decision I've ever made.

At this point I don't even know what to believe anymore.

My doctor tells me that drinking a lot is healthy but every time I drink a lot my wife gets angry at me for making scrambled eggs at 2 am...

I still make scrambled eggs at 2am and I haven't drank in 2 months.

Who gets upset about people eating eggs?

He said making, not eating. Doing pretty much anything in the kitchen at 2am is loud as fuck and wakes up everyone. Especially when you're drunk and not trying to be quiet.

Didn't think about noise, as I'm a generally quiet person. Good point.

Your mistake is not lightly frying fish fillets.

I used to drink when I was younger. Then I toned it down a bunch. Then my father got really into this thing called alcoholism and started pestering me for alcohol from time to time, when he ran out. So I told him that I don't have any alcohol at home and won't go and buy any for him. I also completely stopped drinking around this time. The mere thought of alcohol gives me anxiety now...

I have a small glass of whiskey maybe once a week, and every once in a while I'll have more. It's a nice relaxing reward to myself for a hard working week, similar to someone's glass of wine. Why should I stop doing that?

You shouldn't, sounds healthy. Some people just dont have a healthy relationship with alcohol.

That's fair. Sometimes "stop drinking" gets old for us folks who can handle this sort of thing in moderation.

Bad idea. Day 3 of not drinking anything and my mouth is sandpaper.

But i need water to survive

I wish I could enjoy alcohol as much as some people seem to.

Just a little bit

bro my lips are dry

use chapstick?

Would you suggest not drinking to a guy like me that just drinks socially?

I thought I was a social drinker until I got 2 DUIs. We can really convince ourselves that we don't have a problem. Not saying you do, but I would have told you with a gun to my head that I was fine.

I hope everything is alright with you.

I think I’ve definitely had times where I didn’t reach out for help but had to stop because I realized I was drinking to cope, or a as a social lubricant instead of for fun. I think this may be a mini-wake up call to be careful and try to stay away from drinking for a while.

Or if you don’t drink, start drinking.

Like i usually say, drinking is the coping mechanism for life.

Sure you can quit for health benefits or something no one cares, but if life is shitty now it will remain shitty after quitting except you have to endure it without anything to numb it down. Kinda like having surgery without anesthesy.

My life got so much better after I stopped drinking. It was rough for a while, but it was worth it. Did the work to get to the point where life isn't shitty.

I don't need to numb anything anymore

So life improved because something else, not because you stopped

Actually both. I stopped drinking and using other drugs. Which was miserable. Then I went to AA and dealt with my shit. Met hundreds of addicts and heard from thousands of them over the past five years. Made the deepest friendships of my life. Worked the program as best I could and continue to do so.

I go to Buddhism based recovery meetings and a spiritual teacher's meditation meeting now as well.

Life still happens. I've gone through hell in sobriety. The difference is my perspective and internal state has changed.

I go to therapy too, which helped me dig up the self-esteem and anger issues that were weighing me down and address them.

You do you. I was hesitant to open up about my experience. Don't want to preach or try to control you or anyone reading this.

Well your life story sounds cool enough to drink in your honor, so cheers.

And...

life still happens

Best reason to drink right here, at least that way its less awful! Alcohol is to life like A1 sauce to a bad steak

Surgery for your narrah urethy?

Yeah as it turns out, alcohol is really bad for you. Who knew?

I'm a recovering alcoholic and my life is so much better now! I'm healthier both mentally and physically, and I'm able to save money a hell of a lot better. My sleep is better, and I don't get acid reflux nearly as badly. In the two months after I quit drinking I lost 35 pounds! A "normal" drinker may not see quite as pronounced of a change, but it still makes a big difference. Now I just gotta work on cutting out soda

That's funny, I'm omw to a place to go drinking with friends as I'm reading this

Never have been drunk. I'm worried of what might happen if I do (I'm 20)

Find an hour 3-4 times a week to walk in the woods.

​

No woods where I live. The vikings cut them all down to make ships to kidnap sexy irish people 😯

Guess you'll have to kidnap a sexy Irish person...

He can’t, there are no woods to build ships anymore, keep up.

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No the dwarves mined it all to make hammers and fancy hats for them and the Vikings.

Just switch to creative mode, no biggie

Or ride sexy Irish people in order to find wood

Then find some sexy Irish people to be in for an hour, 3-4 times a week

Beaches work too. Fields as well, if they don't contain messy or excitable livestock.

Find an hour 3-4 times a week to talk to a sexy Irish person

Brian Boru would like a word

You live in Iceland, you get a pass. The whole country is a painting of gods

[deleted]

There are still trees in Ireland, his comment wouldn’t make sense. Vikings cut down all the trees in Iceland to make ships — there are still no forests there today.

https://adventures.is/blog/why-are-there-no-trees-in-iceland/

Shitty blog post source but it’s the first I found and it checks out. This is fairly common knowledge if you spend time studying medieval Icelandic history.

Ah, I understand. Although Ireland does have very few forests due to middle age deforestation which is a shame

You are correct but Icelanders are (mostly) decentant from irish slaves and norwegian vikings.

So that's what happened to all the sexy Irish? I was always wondering why there were none here

Well I'm decentant of both so I assume there was some fucking. That's why we are so sexy 😏

Nah, the Brits cut them down to sink the Spanish armada

Educate yourself about tick protection! It can save your life! Especially if you’re out in the woods. Thanks!

Ah now I get it, Vikings took all the sexy people from the land until nothing was left to breed with.

That’s a lot of hours to find.. but maybe once a week I can do

Don't. They guy is surely a serial killer and wants more people to wander off alone into the woods where he'll wait with axe and encourage even more people on reddit to join.

"If we walk in the woods, we must feed mosquitoes."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Start off with once a week and if you ever get the urge, increase it.

Gotta start somewhere, eh?

This has been scientifically proven to relieve stress and make people happier, with the effects lasting as long as 10 days. Japan is heavy into this research and urges people to go for walks in the woods as much as they can.

Walking in nature in general. Whether it’s in the woods, a park, a beach... just get out in nature. We’re animals. We’re not meant to be cooped up indoors. Getting outside has helped my depression. It could very well help yours too.

chief I live in the city

That's one thing I miss about where I grew up. Woods everywhere, and I loved finding my own trail. But now I live in a city, and woods are a bit more distant.

But I live in Manhattan?

I too enjoy a walk in the woods at 4AM when I cannot see murder hobos from a DnD campaign...

This is how serial killers are born.

This is how sanity is retained, not lost.

Or is it merely a trick of the light?

By becoming a serial killer?

It worked for Dexter

It worked great for Dexter, so much so that he ended up just destroying forests altogether.

TIL i'm going to become a serial killer.

If it takes you a fucking hour to dispose of a corpse in the woods, you'll get caught long before you become a serial killer.

How long does it normally take you?

Try 14 times a week.

Source: has dog.

I work in the woods and it sucks that it’s basically my office now. My alternative is to walk around downtown and reconnect with civilization

Are you a ranger? Have the woods lost their magic completely for you? I would hate to put myself off something I love so much.

I’m a land surveyor, and yeah, after six years of being outside year round, -30 in the winter and bugs in the summer is no longer exciting hahaha

Or sit in a park and just take in the sunshine for 20-30mins a couple times a week. If I get into town early I do this before I head into work.

Don't do that in Brazil though or you might end up being part of the ecosystem yourself

That's so much time dude wtf. I'd rather use that on the gym.

But on a sunny weekend or something? For sure.

Since my area has warmed up I'm having vivid fantasies of camping and climbing a tree

....I have no woods to walk through...

Walking that much in my area will almost certainly get me mugged.

[deleted]

Takes me an hour to drive to woods for me.

Honestly one of my biggest regrets about moving from a wooded area to a desert area is that I no longer have any woods to walk in :(

I would love to do this, I used to this all the time as a kid and it was so much fun.

Murder optional?

I think I’d walk an hour just to find the next woods.

It's gonna take a lot longer than 3-4 hours just to drive to the nearest woods, let alone walk in it.

I do this with my dog. I've even started taking note of the useful plants and trees around me that are edible or good for starting fires or making cord. Before you know it, a whole new obsession is born.

Literally the only reason I walk in the woods is because of the slim chance I find a snake.

Fuck I miss hiking :( there are no mountains in my area.

Struggling to find the time to walk up the driveway each day, but somehow the woods seems more achievable, perhaps because I can't see the forest from the trees

There’s no woods near me but Telegraph Pass which is a sandy & steep trail on a hill is a 20 min bike ride away

check for ticks after too! dont wanna get sick for life from it

You're not gonna get me with this again witch, I just got turned back in to a human.

reading a book

incidentally, reading to your kids.

One of the best things my mom did for me.

Unfortunately as an adult I rarely read books. The upside is that when I do I get giddy about it because it's like a treat.

im not a big reader myself but i do get into it when i read to my son. i can be creative and make voices for the characters. i love explaining things for him. teaches me patience and those kids books have deeper lessons than when we first read them as kids ourselves.

im not a big reader myself but i do get into it when i read to my son. i can be creative and make voices for the characters. i love explaining things for him. teaches me patience and those kids books have deeper lessons than when we first read them as kods ourselves.

God I can’t fucking wait to read to my kids. I read my fiancée to sleep currently — can’t wait to read everyone to sleep. Jigglypuffing all those motherfuckers so I can go raid the fridge in peace.

My son had difficulty reading at a young age. Every night for years I sat with him at bedtime and we finished a book. Was an awesome routine and got him to sleep. Now he's 13 and an avid reader. His imagination is off the charts.

I put it all down to those times.

Never underestimate those efforts...

thanks for sharing this. extra motivation on my part.

CJ major here. Apparently reading to your kids and teaching them to read drastically reduces criminality for them. Two reasons are: they feel loved and don’t grow up angry or bitter because of that, and it also provides a hobby for em to spend time on instead of their idle hands doing the devil’s work.

Adding onto this... It doesn't matter what you read! Comics, audio books, romance novels, YA, whatever... Just read! Engage your brain with a creative world (or expand with some knowledge). Reading is so valuable and it seems a lot of people have some "standard." If you enjoy it, nothing else matters!

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. So sick of people demeaning other people for reading "stupid" books, like romance novels, or YA novels or some such, because reading is awesome! We should never berate others for having different tastes in books.

I actually really enjoy YA books by good authors. Harry Potter (Rowling, although not technically YA ALL the way through), Percy Jackson et al. (Riordan), etc. Good writing is good writing.

Red Rising is amazing, I hope the rest of the series is as good as the first book. I have to pick up Golden Son soon.

If you liked The first book you gonna love The rest

If you're looking for a new YA-esque series I recommend The Ranger's Apprentice.

Very cool! I'll look it up :)

I still find YA novels to be more interesting than most books written for my age group. Seems like a lot of the stuff aimed at adults falls into three categories and gets rehashed over and over: romance, drama/mystery or military.

Give me some good fantasy or science fiction! Lol.

All of Terry Pratchett, all of Brandon Sanderson, all of Philip K. Dick, and also I agree with you, a lot of YA is actually really really good.

Yeah, I've read all of Mistborn and Stormlight by Sanderson.. He's one of my favorite authors now, and I've got the rest of his stuff on my reading list.

For "YA"... Currently reading The Devil's Thief (Last Magician Book 2) by Lisa Maxwell. Slower and harder to get into than the first novel (The Last Magician) but still good. Next up after that is Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare (Dark Artifices Series). After that will probably be Kingsbane (Book 2, Empirium Trilogy) by Claire Legrand as it releases May 21st.

YA is often underrated (I mean, I’m sure plenty is also overrated, but I’m not referring to those, now :p)

There is nothing wrong with reading whatever kind of book you want. I don't think dislike of certain genres is aimed at the reader. I think it is just aimed at the book/author. For instance, YA. I don't blame anybody for reading them, but the authors just try to imitate what is popular. On the surface, they can be entertaining though, and I think when it comes to books and movies, too many people try to seem all high and mighty when they scoff at movies that are just "entertaining" despite the fact that pure entertainment books and movies are just as valid as any other type. Sure we might be watching Vin Diesel blow a bunch of stuff up with plot holes galore, but we are having fun while doing that, and one of the key reasons we read and watch are to escape, meanwhile we have all these books that are made to mirror what is happening in real life, and we are supposed to appreciate this more? Don't get me wrong, these are important movies and books, but sometimes I want to forget that we have a president that supports Nazis for a few hours.

Absolutely. If watching Fast&Furious makes you happy, then by all means, please watch those movies. And if reading YA books makes you happy, then read them! Reading is great, and people shouldn't be discouraged.

exactly. I save my criticism for the creators. not the experiencers.

but sometimes I want to forget that we have a president that supports Nazis for a few hours.

Why did you feel the need to add this? Why bring up politics in a thread of good feelings? Politics go hand in hand with negativity.

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No one should put you down for liking Imagine Dragons, if their music makes you happy, and go you! And screw those people.

Yes but there is more than just hedonistically reading for pleasure. People should sometimes read books because they’re getting something out of it and truly expanding their minds.

Reading Harry Potter for the tenth time is fine for fun, but it’s not the same activity as making a deep study of Plato.

I agree, it's not the same thing, but I personally disagree with people putting themselves into a "superior position" because they feel more important for reading something "more important". I think people should just read what they enjoy and be happy, and not ruin it for others.

I have eaten chocolate ice-cream hundreds of times, and I still enjoy it all the same. Books are similar to me, I just read what makes me happy.

No. People can read for whatever reason they choose. It doesn’t need to ‘expand’ or ‘enlighten’. Your attitude is what keeps people from reading because they don’t want to be looked down on for something they enjoy.

I explicitly said that reading whatever you like for fun is fine. But it is a distinctly different activity to reading challenging, potentially less enjoyable things for other benefits.

Well you did use the word hedonistically to describe reading for fun. That's condescending.

I mean, hedonism is literally indulging in something purely for pleasure. It has a negative connotation attached to it, but it does describe the difference well. I'm slowly working my way through Shakespeare and enjoying it, but I'm also doing it to better understand English literary history so that I can better understand the books I read. I also read purely for fun, like how I just enjoy Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash so I buy all the books, but it's not really the same activity. Both are fine, and I'd argue better than being here on reddit, but they are different.

Im not saying they aren't different. I agree, and also believe in challenging myself. But reading for fun is still a quality hobby and too enriching to be considered "hedonistic". I understand that if you were to look up that word it would probably literally state "enjoying things for pleasure" like you said. But the negativity is really closer to a denotation than a connotation in the case of this word. I wouldn't use the word as a straight line to "this is fun". "This is fun" and "This is hedonism" aren't the same thing.

It doesn’t need to ‘expand’ or ‘enlighten’.

But isn't this a thread about how to improve yourself?

TBF reading children's version abridged stories (like Ivanhoe in 50 pages - might as well read a plot summary on Wikipedia) probably does have no benefits whatsoever if you're a literate adult. I read them as a kid and liked them well enough, but reading them today would feel stupid.

But what if I enjoy reading something like, for example, an abridged story? Does that make me stupid? Or does it make others better than me? I believe it does not. People should just read what makes them happy. (Of course, I am not trying to disrespect your opinion, I just have a different opinion. As long as people read, all is well.)

Ok, sure, if enjoyment is the only goal, nobody's taking that away from you. BUT - I always thought that books enjoy higher status (as opposed to movies/TV/videogames/comics) because whatever the subject matter, a book will always improve your vocabulary and/or appreciation for the language, things you need and use every day. That's not quite true for books aimed at young children (as an adult you should master all that such books want to teach), so I think it loses the benefits that make books stand out among other forms of consumer entertainment. No different form watching a bland TV show that also does not improve you in any way.

Fair point. In the end it really just boils down to how you view art and entertainment; what's important is that people do what makes them happy.

I believe books are actually marginally better for creativity than TV/movies and a step down from video games.

I disagree. It does matter what you read, especially if you view books not only as a form of entertainment but also as a means of gaining knowledge, expanding your worldview and consuming somewhat valuable information in general. There is a difference between reading, say, a Cosmo magazine and reading a classical novel. Goes without saying that you shouldn't be rude about it, but I don't see why we should encourage bad taste (which, although subjective, does exist to some degree).

Fair point. I agree with the fact the there is a huge difference between reading a Cosmopolitan magazine, and reading Tolstoy, with the latter possibly being a better choice. I just wanted to argue that people shouldn't be berated for reading something that the other person would consider "stupid". No one should be discouraged from reading.

Does Reddit count?

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have you tried graphic novels?

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Sandman by Neil Gaiman

Anything that Neil Gaiman was involved in!

What kind of TV and movies do you like?

Comedies like Curb your Enthusiasm, fast moving thrillers like Gone Girl. I like documentaries if it is fast paced I have ADHD , OCD and bipolar.

Try reading The Shallows by Nicholas Carr. What you're describing is very common, and the Internet is largely to blame for shortening attention spans.

Thank you, I needed to read this right now.

I'm sitting in jury duty waiting and I brought a couple YA books because they're easy to follow when I'm stressed and distracted. But I felt a little embarrassed to pull those out in front of a room where everyone is over 18.

F that! I'm gonna read one of my favorite books from middle and high school.

I hope you enjoyed reading those YA books. :) Fuck em!

See, this is why I read reddit.🙂

whats the difference from a good show or movie? Which happen to be a hobby of mine. I watch several movies a week and love it.

I really appreciate this one! I used to be an avid reader, and then stopped... Those cheesy romance novels, however, is what's getting me back into it.

reading

audio books

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Go away, book snob.

Books are awesome

How can I enjoy reading books?

Edit: So many great tips, thanks Reddit!

It's not lazyness, not lack of time or anything else. And to answer both questions - the point is finding the best book for your taste. From then on it becomes a normal activity.

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Try listening to an audio book while you're doing something with your hands, like folding laundry or doing dishes or working on a hobby.

This is how I got my husband into reading. He NEVER read before and now this last year he read 27 books.

Also I don't know if it's the same for you, but I also get very bored when I read, even if I love the book. I didn't use to, and I think I do now because of years and years of training my brain to enjoy instant gratification from entertainment. Scroll through Reddit, watch YouTube, everything is instantly accessible.

I've started setting a timer on my phone for how long I want to read (I try and do 30-60 minutes before bed to wind down) and until that timer goes off I don't let myself have any screen time. If I start getting bored with the book, I can put it down, but I still can't pickup my phone. So I pick the book back up. I've noticed that I'm slowly regaining my reading-attention span, so something must be working!

If everyone just let themselves do what they'd rather do then nothing would ever get done.

Bring a book to the crapper and read a few pages instead of bringing your phone, then after a while of doing that maybe sit down for 10 minutes and read away from the computer. Things like that will build it up but you're never going to be able to just go from never reading to instantly making it one of your largest hobbies or anything even close.

A page here and there is all it takes to make it to 2 pages here and there, and so on. You just gotta start by making the decision on whether or not it is something you think would improve your life and then act on that decision.

Instead of stopping reading, don’t. You gotta retrain your brain to be able to get into that focused mode (the groove, the zone, etc). It’s hard because the brain wants a faster reward, and books require more investment for that reward than YouTube or games. Gets easier each time though

Good news is that books leave your mind refreshed, your imagination stoked, improve vocabulary and communication and are a good way to wind down once you’re able to sit and focus

Ok but I listen to an enormous amount of audiobooks, so I know exactly what I enjoy. However, whenever I sit down with a hard copy of the book I almost immediately lose interest. Is there anything I'm doing wrong?

I can't speak for you, but for me, it was a matter of consistently setting aside 10-30 minutes to read and only focusing on that. I went from never reading to reading a book or two a week.

I have to get into a focus state to read. If there are any distractions around it derails my tempo and it's hard to get back into it.

I don't think it's something you need to force yourself to enjoy, though, some people just don't like it or have the time. There are plenty of other ways to enrich your life if that's the goal.

Honestly, no, no you're not.

Some people just don't enjoy reading. If there's audiobooks that you enjoy, listen to those and don't let it worry you.

My boyfriend is the same and for him he just can't turn the words on the page into images in his head, so he loses interest really quick. Even when i tried him with his favourite story. I think some people's minds don't work that way, and that's okay. We listen to audio books whilst playing Minecraft or whatever

My boyfriend is the same and for him he just can't turn the words on the page into images in his head, so he loses interest really quick.

Yep, that's me. My "mind's eye" doesn't really work well, so trying to visualize whats on the page often fails and leads to me putting a book down after 5-10 minutes as I end up getting very bored and unable to focus. It also prevents me from being able to really paint/draw without a direct reference, I just can't really see what I want to make. Just ends up a weird wispy blob of general shapes in my head.

Reading is just one way of getting a story in your mind, so I personally don't see it as a flaw or issue if someone can't/doesn't. If audio books do the trick for you, I wouldn't worry too much about the act of reading. I'm just glad they're more popular now as I can share my favourites with my boyfriend and we can nerd out together. That's the important bit.

I'm curious, were you encouraged to read as a child? My working theory is that book-story-world creation part of your mind is something developed and nurtured in childhood. I'm basing this on anecdotal evidence as my boyfriend and mum can only read non-fiction: stuff to learn and for a purpose. Both never read as children and were encouraged not to, both can't turn the words into worlds. The opposite is true with all the readers I know.

Not into audiobooks much, but I read a decent amount of comics simply because they already have the imagery. It is something I've been looking at though.

To be honest on the second part, I don't know. I've had a lot of concussions and my memory of anything in childhood is extremely foggy and minimal (not saying those are related, but it feels like it). Up until the age of 13 or so I can probably count my clear, 100% for-sure-happened memories on my fingers.

I feel like I was though, I know I had a lot of books growing up and my mom has told me she always got me a bunch when book fairs and such came along. I do feel that sentiment now though like your boyfriend and mum, as I can read non-fiction well enough if I'm keeping notes.

I agree with this. I am a guy and I couldn't get into Jane Austin books because they were mostly for women. I got into Crime and Punishment because the main character was very relatable and it had the tough cruel world I like to focus on. Get books based on your taste.

Find books about topics you enjoy, or things you want to know more about. Gaming, cooking, post apocalyptic, history... Fiction or non fiction. Comedian autobiographies are usually easy reads. There are multiple book suggestion subreddits to help you narrow it down. Try audiobooks if you have a hard time sticking with print books.

Can I get a link to these book suggestion subreddits?

/r/booksuggestions /r/suggestmeabook /r/bookclub

Or the wiki from /r/books will help narrow down genres or areas of interest. Hope that helps get you started!

**Also check out /r/audiobooks or /r/Audible

One other thing is that if you’re someone who finds themselves on their phones a lot and doesn’t read books much, putting your phone in a different room from the one you’re reading in can be a good way to reduce distractions. Smartphones and social media have conditioned us into getting instant gratification/entertainment, and books require a lot more patience and time to get the same effect. Whenever I read something I like to put my phone somewhere else. Just a tip that might help you out!

Something I've done is downloaded the Libby/Overdrive app to borrow ebooks from my library. Then I hide all my social media apps on a second page and have the reading app front and center. Whenever I'm bored and scrolling mindlessly on my phone, it's easier for me to open the reading app and start up a book. Increased my reading time exponentially!

I have read very few books, but the once i did hooked me so much i read them multiple times. So its not really if you like books or not. Its if you found the book that you like. Also if you dont like reading, Try audiobooks. I listen to them during workout, in car, before sleeping.

find one that grabs you. What kind of interests do you have?

r/suggestmeabook is a fun place to check out, I think that’s the sub

It takes a certain genre that grabs you - I'm into games and nerd stuff but for some reason I only like reading thriller books and I have no idea why lol but I would rather read something that doesn't have anything to do with games or fantasy.

Ask a librarian. They are experts at this. You can do it via chat or email, or in person, if you dare.

Librarians aren't old ladies anymore (although old ladies kick ass). They're punk rockers and gamers, and with a few questions they can figure out what the best book is for you. And it will be free!

The problem isn't not enjoying books. The problem is that you need to find what kind of books you like and then you need to put in the time to read said books.

1) Reading a book should be fun. If you're not enjoying a book don't be afraid to stop reading it and try a different book.

2) Reading snobs will tell you comic books aren't books but they're idiots. It's got book right there in the name. Try some graphic novels, they can be a great gateway to full on novels.

3) Your local librarians would (probably) love to help you. Seriously, go to your local library (or call first and find the best time to come in) and tell them you need "Reader Advisory for a Reluctant Reader". In most cases the librarian will be delighted to help inculcate a love of reading in you by making recommendations that be enjoyable for you and easy to get started with. And if you do develop a friendly relationship w/ your librarian they'll be able to help you grow your literacy.

Goodreads has user voted awards every year for the best books in every genre! Scroll through some of those and pick a book that sounds interesting! Here are the 2018 awards.

Try listening to audiobooks while you're folding laundry or doing dishes or working on a hobby if you have a hard time staying focused while reading.

And don't be afraid to just read what you want.

If you're in the US there is an app called Libby that you can download and attach your library card to and checkout ebooks and audiobooks on your phone. I don't know if the app works outside of the US, just because that's the only place I've ever used it, haha.

I remember someone saying that it's your (the reader's) responsibly to power through the first few pages. It's the author's responsibility to get you hooked and take you through the rest of the book.

Take your responsibility seriously and any good author will do the rest for you.

Audiobooks...

(and obviously finding some books you find good/interesting)

What kind of things are you into? Find books on those things and enjoy!

Fimd a subject you enjoy

Get a Kindle or similar. Pick a genre or topic you feel naturally interested in. Research the tent pole books of that genre/topic and start reading. Don't read for speed. Read and try to visualize. The version you imagine is never going to be quite the same as anyone else's, regardless of what is described on the page.

I'd also suggest not trying to force through a book you're not enjoying. That was my big mistake and it would turn reading into a chore I didn't enjoy.

I find it really hard to find books I like, personally, so there's a lot of picking up and putting down part way through for me sometimes.

You may just need to find out the type of book that you actually like. When I was a kid we'd be assigned books to read and I hated all of them. I took 20 years off of reading until I discovered that I really enjoy well written history books and science-y books. The type of thing that were never assigned in school and nobody around me reads, so I didn't even know they existed.

Anyway, whatever you're into there are books that you'd like.

Neil Gaiman is a fantastic storyteller. I highly recommend checking out his Sandman comic. The main character is the king of dreams which also makes him the king of stories. It's a great read.

For something shorter, the movie Big Fish also pokes at why stories matter.

But the lazyness tho :'(

Lazyness? Man this is an activity that requires almost no movement and you even can do it while you are in your bed. It's almost the same effort as watching tv.

The brain has its own sort of laziness

But i always tought that if you are tired, i get that you don't want to read. But can this laziness you are talking about, is just that the person doesn't like reading? I'm not too lazy to learn to play guitar, i have no interestbin doing so

Audible saved me ngl

Read a book while sitting

Start with audiobooks and work your way up if it helps

Graphic novels! Short stories! Essay collections!

Laziness is awesome too

Laziness*

You’d know that if you read more 😉

/s

Sorry, it's a problem I have for speaking fluently 4 languages

Indeed! On book 24 of the year, currently. I listen to audiobooks I grab from my local library's app in the car while going to and from work and such.

Fun fact: Most major libraries (NYC, Boston, etc.) allow digital memberships if you're a state resident, and it opens up a huge amount of ebooks and audiobooks for you.

holy shit that’s awesome! i moved to NYC at the end of January and i’ve been meaning to get down to the library. thanks for the tip :)

I used to basically drink books as a child, Now I struggle to make myself read them, but I read online daily heavier material than I read as a kid. I still think books are better though, the experience is different. Sometimes when reading a book, I realize I don't subconsciously feel watched, as I do anytime I read on a tablet or phone.

The words move around on the page. It makes it hard for me to read big chunks of text :/

R-E-A-D A B-O OKAAAAY

Buy some land.

You don't need no spinnin' rims!

I can never focus when I read, I'll have to reread the same thing over 2-3 times before I finally get it.

I think it was George RR Martin who said something like, "A person who reads has lived 1000 lives. A person who doesn't has only lived 1"

This reminds me, I've got a book to finish. Thank you!

/r/LightNovels/ is a good place to get something on the shorter side and a lot of fun.

https://youtu.be/9ozbSx7PCKE

After getting to the age where YA books stopped appealing to me, I just never found any books that appealed to me anymore.

Adult books all seem really boring tbh, i know there's probably some crazy wacky obsure german novel that you're typing out right now to prove me wrong, but the real issue is that when i get stuff like that described to me, my first thought is that id like to SEE that, not read it. It's hard to get invested in purely written media anymore unless it'a like, a fanfiction about something I already enjoy or something.

Give House of Leaves a try. It's a really inventive type of fiction called Ergodic Fiction, where the layout of the page and text is just as important as the text itself. It's gotten a TON of people into the ergodic fiction, which is both a visual and textual genre.

​

The best I can do as far as a synopsis goes, is that it's the notes and annotations on a film called The Navidson Record, written by a man named Zampano, THEN annotated by our main character Johnny Truant. It's mindbending science fiction about a house that's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Science fiction, academic satire, post-modern masterpiece. Also gorgeously written.

Read a manga that was of a show I was enjoying to get ahead and all it did was give me existential dread and sadness, along with enough mental anguish that I barely ate for 4 days. It affected me way way WAY more than I had thought.

That's the downside to having depression and using anime/ games/ manga to escape into a different reality. I got heavily invested in it and it only compounded the shit show in my head into even worse things.

But man was it a good read up until that point.

You’re not the first one I’ve heard this happening to. It’s always anime as well. I don’t understand why it’s mainly that genre that gets people so extremely.

For me it was realizing how alone I was and how much I longed for a relationship and connection like the characters were having. They did everything they could to make things work and make each other happy, something I haven't experienced in 8+ years. Realizing that crushed me, then everything went sideways in the manga and it just ruined me even more.

Having nowhere to escape to anymore because things changed so much for day to day. Couldn't enjoy games, watching other shows, talking to the limited amount of people I have in my life, couldn't sleep right, and couldn't fix it.

Thankfully I'm eating again, and slept the first full night in a week, so things are improving in that aspect. But I'm honestly terrified that once the next chapter comes out that I'll remember it all and get torn apart. But on that note, a lovely redditor is on the side that I can chat with about it, so I can hopefully decompress better.

https://youtu.be/GlKL_EpnSp8

Good advice. I don't know though, I keep trying them only to be turned away quickly.

You have any good recommendations?

Have a few things on audible. Nonfiction like "sapiens," about early hominids (edit: obviously it's about humans more generally); mostly informative but nearly everything I've heard before. (Similarly with "monkey planet" on Netflix which was still really cool though. I really like primates. Plus it sounded like someone found my lost iPod for the soundtrack, don't even mean that figuratively. Really pissed me off that they claimed ring tailed lemurs are more matriarchal than bonobos though. I mean they completely omitted all lesbian stuff, for example, which was really conspicuous)

Thought about dune with that upcoming move but opted out because again matriarchy stuff I could do without right now.

I used to read when I was younger and it was perfectly fine, but now it's just a struggle. I swap words around while reading, miss important details, and letters just sometimes don't exist for me, if that makes sense.

I'd still love to read (specifically A Song of Ice and Fire) but I just can't get past the headache it gives me.

Been reading anything cool lately?

Look around every once in a while. Be it for the surroundings you pass by every day. Or to be aware of someone trying to get past you.

Also flex your stomach muscles while brushing your teeth, to "pass the time". This will become a habit pretty quickly and bam, free easy workout.

+1 for creativity Dentists hate this man. Learn how he got a sixpack in only 5 years by JUST BRUSHING HIS TEETH.

Reddit: where flexing for roughly 30 seconds is considered a workout

It's better than nothing though. The idea is to make it a habit so you don't even think about it and make it casually on other occasions as well.

Kegels ftw

Kegel exercises for men

To get started:

Find the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. These maneuvers use your pelvic floor muscles. Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles, you can do the exercises in any position, although you might find it easiest to do them lying down at first.
Perfect your technique. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for three seconds, and then relax for three seconds. Try it a few times in a row. When your muscles get stronger, try doing Kegel exercises while sitting, standing or walking.
Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
Repeat 3 times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

👽

Sure yes you're welcome, it's only due to my lack of reddit usability knowledge that I couldn't link it, so...

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/mens-health/in-depth/kegel-exercises-for-men/art-20045074

I'm confused, is this the same as clenching my butt?

Maybe, I'm not a muscle-ologist* but I would think it forms a part of the same muscle group. I guess the only way to prove it is go at it fulltime olympic-style training and if, in time, you're able to crack a walnut with your sphincter whilst ejaculating three metres or more, then much respect for your determination.

*try saying THAT with a plum in your mouth, Donald.

I’m confused, does this exercise just make you able to stop pissing faster or? Lol

makes you last longer in bed i believe

Huh, interesting, thanks

Lol flexing your abs is not even remotely close to a workout dude...

👽

I’m not going to say it does nothing but I will say it does a minimal amount. No way to properly progressively overload them.

I am pretty sure you didn’t magically grow a sixpack without working out and proper nutrition, last being the most essential for abs.

You probably just got more muscle control from contracting them giving the illusion of better abs.

I work my abs just like any other muscle and have amazing abs when lean enough.

👽

Yeah fair enough, I’m a little cranky today sorry !

Anything is better than nothing obviously, I guess I took offense to comparing it to an actual workout.

I didn't mean an actual workout, just something you can do. But I guess it could be easily misunderstood and I'm sorry for that.

I do agree that he might have said it tongue in cheek though.

Isometric exercices are just as good as other exercice

I do tushie squeezes and/or calf presses while I brush my teeth/mouthwash.

(For calf press: stand legs hip width apart, feet flat on floor toes facing forward, raise heels to tippy toes, hold a few seconds using the wall or counter for balance if needed, lower heels back to floor, repeat. Btw, I believe this is called a calf press, might be called something else.)

I'm doing hummingbirds right now dude

Smile and be honest.

Seriously, two of the easiest things ever. No one likes people who dont smile and no one likes people who lie.

😀 I feel like fucking dying 😀

Hey, I like this guy!

Yeah, we should kill him

Dibs on the butt

I say we burn him.. then we kill him!!

That's because he's not a flamingo

😀 I feel like fucking and dying 😀

😁 that’s the spirit! 😁

That's the spirit.

At the very minimum you are working out facial muscles that will help keep wrinkles at bay.

So long as you are still alive you can still look fabulous while struggling with inner turmoil.

But If you're smiling even If you are sad, it's not honest

That's a bit like saying it's not honest to go for a run when you feel like sitting on the sofa with a tub of ice cream.

Yes and thats a problem.

Insert that speech from South Park about being happy and sad at same time.

What if your smile isn't honest and genuine?

There are some studies that indicate that expressions can affect body chemistry: that smiling, whether we mean it or not can cause a positive change in mood by affecting neurotransmitters. I suppose a rigid frozen smile slapped on top of some extreme negative emotion sounds horrible, but perhaps a mildly grumpy state can be positively affected by smiling

Its not a proper smile then.

Is mayonnaise a smile?

No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not a smile.

Horseradish is not a smile either.

You won’t find true happiness if your only reasonings are based on other people’s perception of you.

Luckily we’re not talking TRUE HAPPINESS here, but more about how to improve life quality with some simple things

Yeah aha true happiness won’t do that

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You have love yourself first, next post: r/happy "I was a drug addict for 10 years until this person changed my life around"

I didn’t say have no one like you. I’m saying be yourself, you’ll find your dream job and partner if your yourself. Pretending to be “likeable” will get you the life suited to who you pretended to be. That will not make anyone’s life better.

You also won't find true happiness if everyone hates you. You have to find the balance, other people liking you influences a great deal of your life.

Not a lot of people like me aha. It gets to me sometimes yeah but I prefer it than being fake nice all the time. I’d go fucking insane.

That would be something to reduce.

The question was not how to find true happiness. It was for a simple thing one can do to make their life better. And generally, having people like and respect you -- which is often the result when one is perceived as friendly and honest -- is much better than the alternative.

I know people who are “friendly and honest” and they’re miserable because they’re not friendly and honest.

I know people who are sullen and dishonest, and they're miserable because no one wants to deal with them or give them the benefit of the doubt.

but having manners, smiling more, and being honest is a great place to start. It doesn't have to be about other people's perceptions.

You should smile more. But seriously this is legit bad advice.

no one likes people who lie.

Well that's a lie

I dont like you. Stop being a liar.

I can either smile or be honest but not both. That explains a lot.

You can. Everyone can do that.

I don't smile because I hate my teeth I can't get my teeth fixed because no money

I do smile without showing teeth a lot though, but people tell me it looks like I'm always grinning lol

You can't imagine how hard it can be to actually smile, can you?

I can.

Listen, no one has to take my input for granted. My 2019 has been fucked up but I am still very happy because I have a positive attitude about life and I smile to make other people smile. And when I see other people smiling and being happy, I am happy as well.

It's alright. It's actually great advice, but I just can't do it. Whenever I force myself to smile, I actually make myself feel worse because I can feel the difference between how I would like to feel and how I actually feel. It sucks.

No one should force themselves to do things. When you are not comfortable with it, dont force yourself into doing it. Appreciate the small things and progress step by step by step. No one says you have to run around and celebrate like a mad man. Start working out, do something that makes you feel good and tell yourself "Good job" if there is no one that can tell you that. I used to sit in front of my mirror before school and say "I am great" over and over and over again.

In the end, its worth it. Trust me. :)

Why do we keep electing miserable looking liars then?

Because people make mistakes.

What if being honest is not wanting to smile? What a conundrum.

As far as lying goes, everyone lies, about big things and small. I just take it as part of the landscape and don't get too upset about it. I think it is just the "catching others" part of lying is the part people don't like.

I don't smile. Not my thing. I have resting sad face, apparently. I hate fake smiling.

i cant smile because i have no mouth

Just DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES - *TELL* anyone to smile because whether they tell you or not EVERYONE hates 'that person'.

Seriously, i smile all the time, but it's no one's business to tell another to smile, it's intrusive/judmental/offensive, seriously .... obviously posting about it on Reddit is fine... but i know (mostly men, as am I) who annoyingly tell (usually) women "smile! Why aren't you smiling!" or make the little finger gesture on face... stop it! Don't you know everyone hates that!?
And re: honesty, i totally agree -- honesty is one of the highest virtues, especially when people will tell other people they respect, something they may not want to hear -- it's difficult, but can be very helpful, and if someone is spiritual it's almost a religious duty -- just be tactful.

There, I just gave an example of the second point, being honest, in how I tried to share my disagreement about your first point. Have a great day, thanks for bearing with me

Yeah, its difference telling that to someone. I never do that... dont want a slap in the face.

OK good, as long as you know that :) . Because some people have no idea that (some) others HATE HATE being told to smile ;D Also, here may be some useful information -- https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/05/why-americans-smile-so-much/524967/ Americans smile a lot -- but e.g. in Russia, someone who smiles a lot is assumed to be either drunk or an idiot -- that's why i love the USA

I can think of multiple people I’ve liked that didn’t smile. It was just a part of their personalities.

I'm going through this with my teenage stepdaughters right now. They live with their mother who lies and treats people badly unless she can get something from them.

In our house we practice truthful communication and kindness. If they lie, we're going to react badly. It's easier to deal with the stupid things teens do if we are told the truth in advance. I'd rather get them birth control before they start having sex rather than deal with the fallout after they start and really need our help. They're 15 and 16 and their mother doesn't think they should be told about sex when they ask.

Some people who lie are loved by many.

Preach!!! 👏🏼🙌🏼 Honesty is the best policy!

I do hate people who lie about smiling

I agree, I was always told smile at people. It costs you nothing, and it might be the only smile they see all day. I smile at people I pass in the street, even if I feel sad. Usually they smile back, before I realise it I'm not so sad.

Although on the honesty score mum always told me "fake it 'til you make it" when it comes to happiness and confidence. Surprisingly it does work.

Edit for grammar

You’d be surprised how little some people like you being honest though. (Not defending lying by any means, but as a very honest and direct person, most folks can’t handle it)

I don’t know you, I don’t know your story, but $20 says you have a neckbeard

THREAD SUMMARY:

Drink Water

Exercise/Stretch

Read

Save Money

Set Goals

Sleep

Eat Better

Try New Things

Less Social Media/TV

Meditate Be early Be great full Floss/dental hygiene Have time to yourself

Create an environment suitable to your personality. Even if this is one room in your house. This is YOUR place in the world to feel safe.

I know you said one thing but, additionally:

Get out of the comfort zone and find a community. Writing club, music, martial arts etc. Communicate with them and over time allow yourself to become vulnerable in front of them.

Go through struggle. Physical or mental. Have a problem that needs a genuine struggle to figure out and take note of the incremental improvements you're making.

Meditate - read into this... Its really fucking good for you.

Much love.

Ive never understood how people "create a space". Decorating is just a waste of money and time.

I didn't mention decorating, nor spending any money.

Then how are you supposed to create a space? I just dont get the core concept I guess

get rid of social media

You heard him boys, delete your Reddit account

But reddit is an antisocial media! (Anonymous posting, posts are usually not about personal life, don’t have to post things to please followers, etc.)

Yet it’s got the upvote system that seems to cause all kinds of interesting psychological effects.

Ah, yes. And unlike YouTube comments, the downvote button actually does something, so you have to be careful what you post.

One of the best things i did was delete my facebook. I still have instagram but I only go on it a few times a week. I dont even care about what I post / number of likes etc anymore. But seeing a constant supply of people trying to show how perfect their life is wasnt good for my mental health. I literally unfollowed everyone that I'm not good friends with irl / a few people that post real things. I was honestly really sick of seeing 'influencer' posts.

I've started to notice reddit doing the same thing tbh. I never cared about anything and it was a cool novelty when i first came here. But it's beginning to become more negative nowadays. I've started to use it way too often, and waste so much time on it, and find myself actually getting annoyed at some things on here. The anonymity can be nice, but the same 'dopamine-driven feedback loops' on other social media are here too.

I think i'm going to delete it off my phone right now. I hate the desktop version, so if I want to visit the communities i actually care about i'll use it a few times a week. It's time to make a change!

I have a Facebook that I only use for other Internet accounts that let you use your Facebook account to sign in. Other than that, it’s more than useless.

sounds fake but okay

Deleted Facebook a month ago, got a mail yesterday saying it is now permanently gone. Have not missed it a bit.

Deleted Facebook too and while I feel happier I do think Reddit and Youtube just replaced Facebook in terms of addiction.

I cannot find anything funny on Youtube anymore. I just watch Funhaus for comedy and some Crash Course for learning these days.

Got any channel recommendations?

Callmekevin is good for gaming stuff, other than that I just watch old mst3k episodes on youtube

Do you have any other learning recommendations?

Not really.

Unless you wanna learn guitar: JustinGuitar is actually really good. I have come a long way just by following his beginner course and practicing every other day or so.

PhillipSoloTv

Really genuine guy. No bs in his videos. Some surprises. Some laughs.

Scott the Woz: funny guy, talks about games in general. Definitely worth watching. Posts with some frequency

Internet Historian: do what his name says. He is an internet historian. Famous internet events like pools are closed and /pol/ against Shia LaBeouf. Rarely posts tho

They actually permanently delete it? Huh! Didn't think that was a thing. How long does it need to be deactivated before that happens?

They say they do, but who knows really lol. I cannot access it anymore at least.

You have to mark it for deletion, then it has to be deactivated for a month. Then you get the email saying it is gone.

Dont forget to save your pictures before!

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What the hell? Man I would find that irritating. When I was in High School we had to use “Moodle” for homework but that was about it.

Haven't been on Facebook in almost a year. My life is infinitely better. It's annoying when my inlaws act like I know what they're talking about though because they live their lives on Facebook and assume everyone they come in contact with follow them. Besides that, it's done a lot for my mental health.

I want to get rid off Facebook but all the events gets posted there. So by deleting FB I would not hear about events so often and especially about updates of events I'm planning to go.

So no. Not yet.

Download the Facebook Local app. It's only events.

This is awesome and I had no idea! The only thing I would miss about facebook would be the events.

This. I don’t think I’ve looked at Facebook at all in 2019, and about once a week in 2018. And who knows, there may be “self-esteem” improvements and definitely have been attention span improvements BUT...I feel so out of touch. Concerts, events, friend’s lives, etc. It reminds me of what it took away from our lives but it’s also reminded me how much I socially relied on the information it would provide me. Double edged sword here.

Local events are usually also advertised in the city website - under list of city events. That’s been my experience anyways. It usually includes all sorts of events through the year as they are planned - especially since most of thise events require permits.

Smaller events - like specials at a movie theater and so forth would be harder to come by.

Sure locals events actually could be easy to find. Ads and magazines for example. But the events I attend are whole lot smaller. ~500 people and usually not publically adversited. So that's why I can't delete Facebook yet.

Hmm I guess I’m speaking from someone living in smaller cities - no magazines or paid ads for the most part have anything for the events here. Where I lived just two months ago we had about 9000 people living in the “city”, so an attendance of 500 people was considered “all-out” lol.

I know that even when I lived in Houston - there were still smaller events being held, and it was noted on the township website (i.e. like Katy or The Woodlands rather than Houston): music in the park, art displays, german festivals, local plays, and so on. They usually had pretty small turnouts. There were also those larger events, like the iron-man competition of course (which is what I imagine when you refer to when talking about magazine ads).

That being said, events for certain local bands, or fun drinking events, or events among small rings of people (like in college - the arts and science department) I only ever saw advertised on Facebook. I have cut Facebook since then and I’m still trying to figure out how to get in the know on them, other than word of mouth.

Email lists aren’t bad if you know where to look for the events but it can get rather spammy. I think I’m going to try filtering them into an events sleeve to browse later in the day from time to time.

And I want to add that I see posters put up sometimes at the campus but 90% it is a party which our student association is having. In my city its very common to go to others parties too. And for those parties I rarely see any posters as they're at another campus. So here's where FB is great. As long as you know one person from whatever campus you will get the notification "This person is interested in this event" and most likely I'm interested as well. And when you have dozens of different SA's FB events just excel in it.

But in all honestly I don't use FB for the mindless scrolling too much. Maybe twice or thrice a month. So I like to think I'm reasonable user of Facebook.

Yes it takes up way too much time but I can't completly get rid of IG and Snap since i use them everyday to increase my social status, make new friends and find potential relationship partners. But yeah limit your time on them.

To increase your social status?

More likes more status

But not Reddit yeah?

Such an underrated comment. So many studies have proven that it's awful for you.

This must not affect everyone, I'm guessing some people have more issues with addiction than others.

​

I've had Facebook installed for many years, I dont feel any anxiety or whatever. I uninstalled it yesterday and I feel the same. I dont care what other people are doing, as in I'm curious but it doesn't stress me out that they went on a vacation and I didnt or something like that. I use it to post photos, check into places, see what my friends are up to, etc. It's not something addictive to me.

Well hopefully that's true. It would also make you immune to basic human risk reward system that social media tends to play towards. Either way, congrats?

I deleted Snapchat and I'm feeling just fine without it. Probably the most unnecessary app ever

I think balance is good, having social media is fine to stay connected to people and share your own life but when it becomes your life, that’s when it’s a problem. In this day and age, social media just disconnects you from everyone around you

Yeah most social media users are on the app for 5 hours a day. Thats wayyyy too much

yeah so that to wouldn’t be balanced! In which i would suggest time limit apps or something to limit their time. I think you can just do that on an iphone now without an app.

Yeah you can

Does reddit and YouTube count?

Turn on dark mode on your apps. It'll be weird at first, but trust me it'll make things so much better for you.

Wait, people don’t always use dark mode?

They don't even dark mode their desktop apps either shudders

Disgusting.

Uses less power to have a light mode. https://www.quora.com/Does-a-white-background-use-more-energy-on-an-LCD-than-if-it-was-set-to-black

Lots of new phones are OLED, so if that's what you have, then dark mode will significantly save power.

I don't darkmode anything.

Darkmode doesn't blend in very well. It's pretty obvious when you ninja minimize a darkmode reddit tab compared to a white window full of text.

I use discord light theme

People don't always know there's another option. Light mode is the default for a lot of things. It's possibly a holdover from when everything was done on paper.

Black on white is also not as useful in programs where shades of gray are used to differentiate items. Light mode is also a lot easier to see in a well-lit environment, like an office.

A lot of people don’t know that Facebook Messenger has a “secret” dark mode.

Is this secret dark mode available on android?

I believe so.

https://smartphones.gadgethacks.com/how-to/activate-hidden-dark-mode-facebook-messenger-0192439/

For the didn't-click crowd: send a moon emoji to a friend, and it will activate

Does the Facebook app have a dark mode as well?

I don't. My eyes strain much faster that way.

A friend the other day was trying to tell me that a glaring white screen was better for the eyes. Can you believe it! Fake news has confused so many people of nonsense

I don’t think me and your friend would be friends.

Does anyone know how to turn dark mode on in gmail? Is that even possible?

How?

[deleted]

I mean how will it make things better for me lol

Instead of a blinding white light with small portions of non-light, you have mostly non-light with the white text added on top. Doesn't kill yours eyes as much with extra unnecessary light.

The light from my phone is killing my eyes now??

I get the blue light messing with your sleep thing, but I’m not sure about it actually harming your eyes.

It's not. It's just more pleasing to look at for most people.

If you look at your phone before going to bed like a lot of people, it will certainly help with sleep

If you don't think it makes a difference, give it a try for a little bit.

If you do it you can find out

[deleted]

If your phone has an OLED display (which most do these days) then dark mode apps can help reduce battery usage. It being easier on the eyes is different for everyone, but it definitely does have some purpose other than just personal choice.

Most flagships*

Honestly, It used to help me during night time. I used it so often at night, now I got used to it. Now I use it all hours and prefer it.

Cuz its the lastest stupid bandwagon for kids to jump on

Also download a night filter app for your screen. You'll fall asleep so much faster and you'll sleep better.

Any suggestions for iPhone that are free/cheap?

That's built into the iPhone. It's called Night Shift, and can be found in your settings, or even your control centre.

I use night shift at the lowest light setting but I still find it to be too bright at night. So in order to make the screen even darker, there’s a setting on the iPhone in accessibility mode where you can click “zoom” and change it to a low light filter. As long as you play around with it correctly, it only affects the brightness of the screen.

Night shift, it’s built in

It actually makes it harder to see for me unless it’s dark around me. I have astigmatism and it is very difficult to see Spotify during the day as I’m looking for a song, so I basically give up unless I can shade my screen. This is on a current gen iPhone too.

Basically the only time I can use a dark mode is late at night. I just wish all apps had an easy way to toggle it instead of digging deep in settings. Alien Blue used to let you double tap the banner bar in the app to toggle and I really miss that subtle and easy design.

I would disagree with that advice. At least during the day because white writing on black has been proven to make you less efficient at reading and personally white on black burns my eyes... however do make use of the blue light filter. It is so much easier on the eyes.

It actually causes much more strain on the eyes -- the dark mode. It's interesting how much people circle-jerk it.

yeah i understood that dark night makes the pupils dilate and the writing becomes less sharp and thus less easily processable but more light comes in while light mode makes your pupil close so you take in just enough light to read.

Do you have a scientific source to back this up? I’m honestly curious what the correct answer is.

Black text on a white background is so much easier to read

No, it does not.

Windows 10 left shift + left ALT + PrtScn.

Started using high contrast mode. my eyes are now repulsed by everyone else's bright white screens.

Nah, dark mode SUCKS in the day time. We gotta delete the sub

Night mode reddit gang rise up

My eyes are so grateful that I have dark mode enabled on reddit and youtube. 100% reccommend.

Had to go through 40 of the top posts to find one that is actually simple like this.

If you have an AMOLED screen it'll help improve your battery life as well.

On Reddit, I have it set to change between light and dark mode depending on the time of day. So, at night, it’s in dark mode, but during the day, it’s light mode.

In light mode, it’s easier to discern where posts, buttons, etc start or end, due to the high contrast between white and gray, vs the black vs very dark gray in dark mode.

But on YouTube, dark mode all the way.

Absolutely! Never going back!

I've tried dark mode and I hate it. How long do I have to persevere before it pays dividends?

I feel like dark mode should be a go to for everyone. I started using it on reddit and now I can browse reddit at 2am and not be blinded by my phone.

Why isnt instagram on dark mode damn it..

Completely agree. I’ve been doing this for sometime and it not only saves my eyes but is very helpful for a person spends time on their phone before bed.

Is it really possible to adapt? lol I'm gonna try this again.

What is dark mode

My eyes are so grateful I realized this a few weeks ago.

Still fuckin waiting for iOS to have system wide dark mode. It’s so annoying at night when I open iMessage and it basically blinds me. And smart invert is annoying because it doesn’t work that well since pictures sometimes are still inverted or things like Snapchat are. Ugh! It makes me miss my Jailbreak.

I wanted to switch to dark mode couple of month ago but was weirded out. Gave it another try couple of weeks ago and can confirm your statement.

Not for me. I have astigmatism and it strains my eyes and gives me headaches.

I wish more stuff had a dark mode.

People use dark mode?

What's next, printing all books with white text on black paper? Lol you kids....

charge your phone/devices in a different one to your bedroom.

buy an alarm clock.

charge your phone/devices in a different one to your bedroom.

~~buy an alarm clock.~~

set it on your phone so you have to get up to turn it off

[deleted]

I've semi-broken this by only using youtube in bed to set up my pre-sleep noise (recently it's vinesauce's mario sunshine stream). Any casual or engaging videos i stream on the tv in the living room.

It's come to the point where I put my phone across the room from my bed and put a QR code far from that. That way I have to get up, walk across my room once to get my phone, and walk across again to scan it to turn my alarm off. By then I'm fully awake.

Which app are you using for that?

I use Sleep as Android which gives you a bunch of options like that.

'Alarmy' on Android.

I use Alarmy on iOS. You can set a “mission” that you need to complete to turn off the alarm (shaking your phone, solving math problems, taking a picture of something, scanning a barcode or QR-code, or playing a memory game).

I have it set to the barcode on the back of my Nintendo DS, So, I have to get out of bed, walk across the room to turn on the lights, find my DS, and scan the barcode on the back... After the alarm sounds, which is loud enough to wake the dead, even on an iPhone SE.

I did that once and feared for the safety of the people around me.

In college I knew a guy who couldn’t wake up. He’d manage to turn off an alarm and go back to bed without waking. Eventually he put the clock in a locked box that required a code to open. It worked.

He has to be careful, if he develops his sleep walking-alarm-disabling skill, he will have to bury the alarm in a concrete block, behind metal bars so he wakes up to his sleep sawing noise

I was doing that too haha

shameful but I'm much worse, I would be wide awake, and yet would still walk across the room, turn my alarm off, and get back in bed

shameful but I'm much worse, I would be wide awake, and yet would still walk across the room, turn my alarm off, and get back in bed

I can, and do sleep through my phone alarm when it's right next to my head

Wow, just the click from the relay of my sound system was enough to wake me up.... But then I was able to turn I off faster than it would need to spin the CD and play and go straight back to sleep.

So many panic morning rush back then I was in high school.

I was always sure other people had figured this hack out, but I have never heard anyone say it. Awesome.

And set an air raid ring tone as your alarm and use "Alarm Clock Extreme" it has a do math to dismiss alarm setting.

WANT ME TO SHUT UP? OK WHATS 183×17-42?

use a shitty old smartphone as an alarm clock. works great

...or you could put your alarm clock earlier so that you don't have to rush to get up? you can scroll reddit or watch youtube or do any activity you want that will help you wake up

... well, it doesn't matter if you wake up, mute it and fall back asleep at 7:00 or 6:15, some fall asleep after it as if they set the alarm in the middle of the night

I did too...the trick is to switch to the activity imediately after you mute the alarm...if you want to make sure, snooze it instead of mutting it

Honestly, this is a very good thing, but I always had the problem that my alarm didn’t go off when I used an alarm clock, so I switched too using my phone, but after I’ve read this I’ll start using an alarm clock again. Thanks person of reddit :)

My home office is in my bedroom...

why? just curious.... because they beep at night?

I just recently bought one of those wake up lamps and waking has been so much easier. Waking up still sucks, but I guess the lamp in my face makes it a little harder to sleep in, so I just get up.

My wife and I started doing this a couple of months ago, now we talk and snuggle before going to sleep. We also have an Alexa in the bedroom and play games on that together (also serves as the alarm clock). Either way, it's definitely helped us to be closer.

it's definitely helped us to be closer

Closer to Amazon’s data farms, for sure.

That explains my Amazon recommendations lately...

Is this your first time learning about the privacy hazards of Amazon’s Echo/Alexa devices?

Read a book instead of social media

I have been trying to reduce my social media since December and I have not been very successful so far. My fiance said to me yesterday to read a book in the garden and it was great. I feel that was a much better use of my time than scrolling Facebook.

Just delete Facebook. They have an option to permanently delete it, instead of in the past where you could recover your account. I also deleted my snapchat. Working on deleting instagram but that's harder to get rid of for me

The comment section on FB, especially on news sources, is the very worst humanity has to offer.

Reddit,although useful, is no different when it comes to social media and you probably shouldn't hold it in a higher regard than Facebook. It's just as detrimental.

If you're quitting Facebook, insta, snapchat and Twitter, you should do the same with Reddit.

Yeah i feel like i'm on reddit 3/4 of the time i'm awake, probably that's an exaggeration but its a reflex to open it on my phone between things.

I'm with you. I gave it up for 3ish months maybe longer and I had a fantastic time. Been back nearly a month now and feel shit lol.

afaik on FB you can delete the account but not the messenger which imo makes more sense to do. Also there's an official app just for Instagram DMing which is a similar thing.

I also sometimes try to not use social media but the strictly messenger apps like Whatsapp and Telegram are a must imo.

Go to /r/LightNovels/ and pick something from there. Lots of series on the shorter side that are quite enjoyable.

Is it all manga?

Different mediums. Where manga is words over images (a comic), light novels are words with an occasional full page image.

But the range of subject matter is generally pretty similar and many recent manga and anime started as light novels.

One thing that has worked for me is to put the kindle app on my phone. I always have a strong urge to just scroll through instagram and twitter on my phone, but I've recently replaced that with instead opening a book on my phone instead. It's been a huge help and I've basically replaced the urge to scroll through social media with reading.

this is a great idea, thank you.

Even sitting in quiet, doing nothing, in a state of mindfulness is better than scrolling through the social media, and also a very simple but important skill to learn. Ive labeled social media as an official and serious time waster. Its incredibly mindless and it robs you of the present moment and any joy that could be attained. Learning to sit and just be made a huge difference on how i view social media. I now have a much heightened awareness on when im scrolling on my phone, and sometimes i choose to do so, mindfully. I find books, podcasts, and audibles are much better ways to occupy the mind when need be.

commented while browsing reddit

Ok, last reddit thread for today

Kthxbye

Does reading on Reddit count?

I'm sitting in the library with an open book on my lap, and yet I somehow got sucked back into Reddit.

Thanks for reminding me to finish reading this story!

I find myself refreshing reddit way too often to find new things. Are you saying I should reddit less?

Dune fuckin rules

Yes Theory released a very interesting video Yesterday on that topic: https://youtube.com/watch?v=TA5Ilzauebo

I am giving it a try and uninstalled every social media on my phone

I've recently downloaded a bunch of e-books to my phone...now its just a matter of opening one of those instead of the Reddit is Fun app...

Hmmm maybe delete the Reddit app?

For those struggling, keeping ebooks on your phone is a great way to get into this habit. Books become just as accessible as social media, much easier than finding the time to sit down quietly with a physical book.

This is what i am trying to do. But it is so hard

Press Ctrl+P then bind the paper together.

Listen to understand, not to respond.

I can do just that but then I'm a dead weight in the conversation and add nothing but correcting misinformation or if I disagree with someone's opinion or something.

Actually listening is good advice. Most people are just waiting to say what they want and not interpreting what the other person is saying. Listen, process, then respond.

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I always thought the idea behind that quote was to listen to understand first and then respond after you’ve understood where the person is coming from.

I never thought it meant you shouldn’t respond or disagree with someone

Your interpretation is correct. Far too many people don’t truly ‘listen’ when talking to people, they’re just waiting for their turn to talk. The intention is to listen to the person, understand what they’re saying, and then respond.

I have a friend who is notorious for this. We’ll be having a conversation and he’ll give me an odd response to something I said, and so I ask him to repeat back to me what he thinks I said. He’ll have no idea. He wasn’t really listening.

Clean your room.

This post was brought to you by the lobster gang.

It's amazing how a simple thing like making your bed every morning can improve your general outlook on life.

Jordan Peterson checking in... just wanted to let you know you a fucking feminist

I don't get the joke

A while you're at it you might try rescuing your father from the underworld, roughly speaking.

Cut out extra sugar and eat a bunch of veggies. Just a couple dietary changes can have a vast improvement on your health, mental well being and appearance.

Mom was right folks.

Spend some real alone time. Sitting by yourself, doing absolutely nothing, just you and your mind. Alternatively but similar, start a journal to document your thoughts and feelings.

Edit, since it was being mentioned a lot in the comments

Don't take my advice if you're diagnosed or think you have any sort of mental disorder,

Most people with depression are from a result of bad psychology, genetic cases of depression are rare, and you can learn self help to get rid of your depression. Best of luck to everybody:)

This is like the worst possible thing for me. Instant depression and anxiety

Way too extroverted for this

Are you diagnosed with depression and anxiety?

I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I never really talked about my depression with a therapist because it was always the anxiety that drove me to go to one. And it’s also more on and off. But times where it’s bad being alone makes it 10x worse

[deleted]

There is nothing more beneficial to your personal growth than to stop actively distracting yourself from your own mind. Start watching actualized.org on YouTube, priceless content.

Please be careful telling people to do this. I lost a friend when a mutual friend told him that he needed to hike and think things out. He hung himself in the woods on said hike. Sometimes self reflection is better done with someone. I myself have a very dark mind and venturing into it alone becomes very bad for my health and keeping my blood inside, it has been years for myself since any such thing occurred but when I have those feelings I call my friends for support. Mental health isn't a constant medium, some people may do better with a walk, others with a talk. Point is unless your the person's mental therapist, don't tell them what they should/need to do. You could suggesting the very thing that ends their life.

With all respect, what you suggested your friend to do, didn't consequently ended your life, he did, not you. The only thing I can say if that it's a proven genetic mental disorder, then yes maybe they should do stuff with other people there to keep them okay and to talk them through stuff. I'm sorry what happened to your friend, but it wasn't your fault, it's someone's free will to end their own life (unless genetic really). Hope you're okay

I wasn't the one to suggest the hike to him. I personally asked him to come and hang out at my place to talk. Sadly my otherfriend was very much one of those "outside and sunshine fixes everything" who genuinely doesn't understand depression as they don't experience it. Its been years now and I think of him often when hiking. My friend who suggested it stopped handing out advice and instead offers a ear to listen,which I understand isn't everyone's ailment. For myself I just need to verbalize or make my thoughts a physical object, remove them from my head and then if it's a physical manifestation I destroy it as people don't understand that it's not a manifesto, just healing(had a journal in college get me in trouble for the violence towards myself it took).

Thank you for your time and words, they do t fall in deaf ears. I take my days one moment at a time and try to stay as positive as I can. I just get very irked by the "just do this" response as if depression has this cure that's so easy and depressed people's are choosing to not(trust me no truly depressed person wants to feel like this, I wouldn't even wish this on my worst of enemies.)

You know, you can forget what I said about it being genetic, if anyone's diagnosed with any condition don't solicit advice unless you're some sort of therapist like you said. Sometimes being alone isn't always the best advice.

Agreed, for myself being alone isn't the best. My mind is not a kind place and it's occupants do not like me. I only venture there with therapists and very close friends.

That's like treating a stab wound with a band aid my dude.

Yo, a diagnosis of depression doesn’t always ‘go away’ with self help. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain and for some people medication IS necessary. Depression is not just ‘bad psychology’. It is a medical mental disorder that needs to be diagnosed and treated by a medical professional.

https://youtu.be/sem-8FpR10U

it's a minority of people that have chemical imbalances, most people simply don't know either so it's good to get professional help, but you can still further improve your mental health through self help

That’s why I love to fish. So much of the time is just your mind wandering.

I heavily agree on this one. You can actually delve deep in your mind and fix / solve at least some of your problems by finding the source of the problem, following with a "how can I fix this?", and then doing what's necessary. It has heavily improved my state of mind recent months, and I've never done it before in my 20 years of life!

When I start to journal it makes me feel like I turn mountains into mole hills with pretty much every minor problem going on in my life and I have to stop because it's embarrassing

I already do this every day and can attest to its results.

Opposite problem here, too much alone time.

You find yourself being bored a lot? Im in a similar position, I'm 18, unemployed rn and just chill with my dog and tidy the house whilst my parents are gone. I try resist the urge to watch TV and what not but it's very hard not to

Careful.. It's addictive.

I'd like to chime in and say that you should always keep two journals. One for anything and everything that comes to mind, even the dark thoughts. And the other one is strictly for good things; everything from "I showered today even though I didn't want to", to "all of my bills are caught up and the house is clean!"

Whenever you feel a little down or just want to look back on good memories, you can flip open your 'good journal' as a reminder of just how capable and awesome you are!

That's a pretty good idea. My idea tends to be a context on what happened that made me write in my journal so I can read it back in the future and be like "oh yeah". And then I'll delve into something on a tangent. I've also decided to do yearly interviews to myself and see how my answers change over time.

As H.L. Mencken said, "Forgive a sinner, and wink at a homely girl."

Careful now, those homely girls have leather in their bedroom despite their librarian look.

I don't know what a homely girl is, but I personally don't like being winked at. I won't be outraged, but I will think the winker is creepy. A smile and good morning/afternoon/evening is a nice way to acknowledge fellow humans as you pass. A wink makes me uncomfortable.

[deleted]

I don't think that has never been a "kind" word, seeing as how it's a synonym for 'butt-ugly' (sidenote: just reminded me of when I was in school and we used to call it 'Xactly Disease', which is when your face looks 'xactly like a butt). The only "kind" word I can think of for an ugly person is 'plain'.

This phrase can definitely be translated better for modern times. I get the gist of it, tho. Forgive someone for their mistake and compliment someone for the sole purpose of boosting their self esteem (no ulterior motive). I try to adopt this in the least creepy way possible at my job after I noticed certain guys only talking to the attractive girls and ignoring everyone else. If I notice someone is being ignored I'll try to find something to have a quick chat about or think of something to make them laugh.

Totally agree with the more modern translation.

It doesn't literally mean "forgive" or "wink".

The usage of both the verbs is mentally. So "forgive someone mentally" and "wink at a homely girl mentally".

He is asking you to pay attention to women who are better suited to your needs.

Yes, best advice is not to acknowledge sexuality in a woman at all. It's only trouble to do that.

This one thinks winking is creepy and uncomfortable, another one thinks asking them out on a date is creepy and uncomfortable, yet another one things slapping their ass is creepy and uncomfortable - you just never know where the line is, so best practices is to not to acknowledge women, just ghost them all in real time.

It sounds bad written down, but works great in real life - never have been hit with any type of sexual harassment claim, and I credit my technique.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, and that makes me worried.

If so, you should use /s because it's hard to tell these days.

If not, I highly suggest treating women like human beings instead of acting like they're some sort of adversarial "other" that's out to get you. Perhaps you could have simply rephrased your comment to something along the lines of "don't harass people"?

Oh, there is nothing adversarial. I'm just not taking any chances. One accusation, and boom, no more jobs for your life. Look at everyone going down.

The problem with "don't harass people" is that there is no definition of harass.

It is not about being adversarial, it is about minimizing risk. I also never drive faster than the speed limit, ever. And I always come to a complete stop at stop signs.

The problem is also that men are supposed to be the "initiator" of contacts with women for dating, women rarely do this, they just "give hints." Do you flirt back if you think a woman is "giving hints"?

It's just too difficult so I just never engage, except as a last resort. It's just too dangerous, because non-verbals, or misunderstandings of verbals is too much of a mind field. For me. Maybe not anyone else, but I have to do me.

You need to get out more man. These problems you're talking about are mostly in your head, and blown out of proportion in male-dominated online spaces. Women are just regular human beings like you. If you think you pick up on a 'hint' and act in an appropriate way, they only thing that can go wrong is mild embarrassment.

Also, I forgot to mention in my other post, that what is extremely sad, is that men *supposedly* need to share what they think, be more expressive.

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However, when a man does this, like I just did, they are automatically discounted and directly or indirectly (as you just did) called an incel.

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So, fuck expressing myself, I'll just go back to not saying anything at all, so people don't say, " You need to get out more man. These problems you're talking about are mostly in your head, and blown out of proportion in male-dominated online spaces."

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Fine. I get it. Don't say anything, don't express myself. I get what you're saying, I need to just shut up and not share. Message received.

Here is a story of someone being jailed for 2 years and a 50,000 euro fine for calling a woman a "horse face." Also lost her job at a homeless shelter, could lose the apartment shared with her daughter

True, it is a woman that called another woman this, and it is in Dubai, but still, it is indicative of the way things are going in general.

Women are not human beings like me. They are women, They are completely phsysiologically and psychologically different. I really think that the way out of this is if women ask out men, and pay the first date, 50% of the time, but that is NEVER going to happen, ever, because men and women are different. I have talked to many women about this and they just will not do this. And I'm not talking about the one exception who may, or if a woman has done this once in her life. I'm talking about 50% of her dates. Then women can actually see what men have to deal with. Trying to pick up "hints" and then trying to deal with them appropriately is great in theory, but in actuality, it sucks, especially if someone is not all that great socially.

Also, I have been subjected to tons of harassment, so much by women, except I would never report it. I cannot begin to tell you the times that women have told me about their periods, menopause, blowjobs they gave the night before, porn watching habits - shit that would get me bounced in a hot second. But no way am I going to ever complain about a woman doing this, just now way in hell, because that is how it is. I'd probably get labeled as an incel trying to "get back" at women, or something like that, which would be a strike against me. When women start talking like that, I just leave so fast, just like in those cartoons when someone leaves fast you see their legs spinning around, then all of a sudden they disappear with a cloud of dust remaining - yeah, that's me.

The real danger is that if a woman starts talking like that and you decide to respond in kind in a humorous way, talking exactly like she is talking, then all of a sudden you are a sexual harasser. I know how the program works. I just keep my head down, because I don't want to take the risk of any sort of shit like that coming down on me.

Women are not human beings like me.

Ah, I see I grossly overestimated your capacity for empathy. I am sorry for the mistake, but not as sorry as I am for your victim complex.

Have you tried asking the women to stop talking about subjects that make you uncomfortable? Usually all it takes is speaking up to them, perhaps with a colleague present to verify that you did so if/when you eventually file a complaint to HR.

For the record, the example you shared has absolutely nothing to do with the complaints you're voicing in any of your comments. You try to claim that there is gender prejudice against men in cases of harassment, and you linked an article about a woman in another culture who was in a verbal confrontation. I fail to see the connection. You vex me, sir.

Well, you see, supposedly men are supposed to express themselves, instead of holding it in and being a traditional male. But, here is the evidence - if you do, you get told you have no empathy and told you have a victim complex. All the more reason for men not to share their feelings, unless it fits with the narrative.

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I have asked women to stop talking like they do, but to no avail. And, there is no way in hell I'm going to go to HR and complain. First, I don't want the person to lose their job, I just don't. I just don't care what you say on this or how you respond, I don't want someone to lose their job. Also, I think it would be a mark against me as a complainer, and as a male, would be seen as my provoking it somehow, even though I never said a word to her.

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As to your last paragraph, I was showing you how people can get offended and there are consequences by just calling someone a horse-face, it was not gender-based comment. I'm just saying that it is the world we live in today, that if you accidentally say anything wrong, if you are tired, or grumpy, you can catch bit trouble, and I am extremely low risk person, I just do not want to risk losing a job, and maybe not be able to get job again.

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Actually, the way I approach the whole thing is by an article I read about 15 or 20 years ago, by a woman. She wrote that at work, all comments should only be about work, nothing else. And, I agree with that. I don't want to hear about your personal life, I don't give a fuck if it is your birthday and I don't want to celebrate it, or your kids, or anything personal. Just STFU and do the work. This is not saying that I don't pleasantly say "Good morning" (I make it a point to go to everyone every morning and say "good morning," or "Nice weather today." But I don't want to sit around for 30-45 minutes every Monday and hear about your fucking dates on Friday and Saturday night, either, which happens a lot. And you can't really say not to, because then it could ruin social fabric.

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Anyways, I get your point, I'll go back to saying nothing, keep my thoughts to myself and never express myself in public, I got it, I get what you're saying. And, I know what you are saying. I just don't think you get what *I* am saying.

That article is a) from Persia, b) she didn't just call her a horse, she said "I hope you go under the ground", as well as harassing the new wife, her ex-husband, and her husband's boss for over a year, but sure, let's cherry-pick the one insult in the title so that you can pretend that you don't understand the difference between harassment and a one-off insult.

Then again, your first comment boils down to "I don't know where the line for appropriate behavior lies between slapping a woman's ass and literally never making eye contact or polite conversation with a female human", so maybe you are as socially inept as you claim to be.

Women are not human beings like me... I'd probably get labeled as an incel trying to "get back" at women, or something like that

Yeah, no way those could possibly be related, eh? 'I think women are literally sub-human creatures because a few people I know are shitty and I don't understand why anyone would think I don't like women and it's all just so unfair!' Grow the fuck up.

Right. I don't know where the line can be for whether a man offends a woman or not. And, I say nothing at work, to make sure that I don't get in trouble for it. I think that is a great strategy, don't you? Should I say something and risk getting fired? So what if I'm socially inept? Do you want to stab me in the face because of that? Do you think that I, and the rest of us socially inept people are undeserving of life and should kill ourselves? Is that what you are saying? Or, do you just want to harass me and talk down to me and others like me, because you understand and we don't?

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> 'I think women are literally sub-human creatures because a few people I know are shitty and I don't understand why anyone would think I don't like women and it's all just so unfair!'

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What???

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> Grow the fuck up.

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I already admitted I am socially awkward. What is your solution for all of us who are this way, kill ourselves? Would that make you happy? I'm ready, just say the world and I will get a knife from my kitchen and slit my wrists. You have my life in your hands - one word and you will relieve the world of one more person that doesn't fit into your mold of what all humans should be like.

The definition of "harass" is in the dictionary, my friend. "Don't harass people" is a good rule to follow regardless of gender.

Men are taught that they're supposed to be the initiator in dating, but that's definitely a mindset that's starting to go by the wayside. Gender equality is getting closer and closer to becoming a reality.

I can understand if you have difficulty picking up on signals and flirting. Some people (often on the autism spectrum) have difficulty with social cues. That's nothing to be ashamed of there. Just don't be scared to ask for clarification if you need it. If you phrase it right, it can even seem cute to ask someone if they are flirting. If they're not, apologize and say you were just checking, which is the truth. If they are, then ask about their current boundary expectations, and act appropriately according to their response. (Try to word it in a way that fits the situation, of course.) I've been on both sides of the "Are you flirting?" question, and I have to say that it makes the whole process much easier to manage, especially for anyone who doesn't pick up on hints.

Or, do what I did and experiment with men. Guys are trained to be more direct with their intentions. I'm bisexual, and I have to say, the whole flirting thing so much easier with men. (If you're not interested in guys, then disregard this bit of advice. I'm mostly joking here. Mostly.)

Long story short, don't be afraid of women. Just act respectfully and reasonably, and you're not going to be sued for harassment.

Well that's great if people all carried dictionaries around or consulted them. However, the *reality* is that everyone has their own definition of harassment. And, courts and others have determined legally that if a woman "feels" she has been harassed, then she has been harassed, based on her feelings, not o the dictionary definition.

> Men are taught that they're supposed to be the initiator in dating, but that's definitely a mindset that's starting to go by the wayside. Gender equality is getting closer and closer to becoming a reality.

OK, you are in a total state of denial here. I have talked to so many women about this, and they just will not do this. Men get called cheap and other kinds of slurs. I have heard this over and over again from both men and women.

And the thing is, you are talking about what *should* happen, *idealistically*. Hints - you are not realistic. I hear from men all the time, missing these "hints" that women supposedly give out. Just no clue whatsoever. If you disagree, you are just in denial.

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And, even if a man is socially aware, it is not an "always" kind of thing. Most everyone goes through cycles, when they are awkward and when they are not awkward, when they are smooth and when they are not. Everyone is like this. There's the Rolling Stones song *Bitch*, where the lyrics go:

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Sometimes I'm sexy, move like a stud

Like kicking the stall all night

Sometimes I'm so shy, got to be worked on

Don't have no bark or bite.

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.

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Anyways, I'm just saying that it is safer to not interact with women too much, they are much more emotional then men and you never know what will make them go off. Women are NOT the same as men.

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I think maybe there should be some kind of legislation to make women ask out men 50% of the time, right now, not some kind of *idealistic* think where supposedly they are doing this more and more, which is just a *completely* false narrative. But, yes, I think that women should be required to ask out men 50% of the time, *and pay* for the first date. I think that men and women *say* this is how it should be, but in reality, it is different, and men ask 95% of the time.

You've done it. You've lowered my expectations even further for conversation on Reddit. I didn't think it was possible, but you managed it nonetheless.

You're using a Rolling Stones song lyric as a source to back up your radical claim that sometimes, people have off days? I genuinely don't know how to take that. It's so far out of left field that it's actually made me reconsider my decision to use Reddit at all today. I was in an argument with an actual incel earlier today, and that seemed practically sane compared to your almost alien thought process here.

I think I could have looked past your curious choice of reference if you'd stopped your comment there, but it somehow got even more bizarre. Calling for legislation to divvy up the check for people going on dates? That's a bit of overkill, don't you think? Wouldn't it make more sense to simply establish before the date that you'll be going Dutch whenever possible, for the sake of equality? That would be a tad less drastic than an authoritarian legislative overstep, and it might actually make for a decent power balance in the relationship. It's worked for me in the past, and not just for women.

Again, sir, you vex me. I don't know how to take this conversation as a whole. At least it's served as a reminder that such socially awkward and paranoid people still exist in the world. Thanks for that much, I guess.

At least it's served as a reminder that such socially awkward and paranoid people still exist in the world.

Like, you didn't know this? It's a surprise to you? What is your final solution? Do you want to put us in a chamber and drop some Zyclon B in it? Round us all up and kill us off?

I mean, jeez, my whole conversation started off by saying that I never say anything, I just talk work at work, and you gave me shit for that. I thought that would be a great solution. But here you lure a totally socially inept person like myself into a conversation, then make fun of me. Was that your whole point? That you are a socially great and you just lure people into conversations to make fun of them, even when they specifically say that they don't converse with anyone for this exact reason? You should be ashamed of yourself for your behavior.

Didn't you say before that you don't have a victim complex? And now you're comparing yourself to the Jews in a concentration camp?

You can stop the conversation at any time, sir. I'm not forcing you to type anything. In fact, I think I'm done with this after typing this. Good luck getting over your insecurities about people who have vaginas.

What I am saying is that you seem to hate socially awkward and paranoid people. What is your Final Solution to ridding the world of us.

I'm not comparing myself to jews in concentration camps, I'm asking if you want to kill all socially awkward and paranoid people. Do you?

Why are you so prejudiced against people like me? You are dehumanizing me, just like all people do to people they don't like. Make us less than human.

I'm sorry that you are so discriminatory and hateful towards people that were born this way. So sad that you are a hater and hate people that are born this way. I suppose you probably hate all handicapped people, too.

I don't hate all awkward people. Just you in particular.

If you're asking about a "final solution" (what Hitler called his plan to kill the Jews and others) and talking about Zyklon-B (the chemical used in the gas chambers at concentration camps in Nazi Germany), then it's pretty obvious what you're talking about. I don't even understand your reason for denying that comparison when you just made it.

I didn't at any point advocate violence or killing whatsoever. You pulled that out of your ass and you know it. This entire conversation, you've been making more straw men than a goddamn scarecrow factory.

Most of my friends are awkward messes. I love them for it. And believe it or not, they're able to respect boundaries regardless of their level of social awareness. You're very much wrong about me being discriminatory against awkward people. The only awkward person toward whom I currently hold any enmity is you.

You're clearly either delusional or trolling. If the former, you have my pity, at least to a certain degree. If the latter, you have my respect for leading me on for so long. First time in years that I've lost sleep over an anonymous internet troll. Props for that much.

I don't hate all awkward people. Just you in particular.

Well, guess I'm glad I stirred up such deep emotions of hate. Just shows you the power of words. The pen is mightier than the sword.

I'm not making a comparison of me to jews, I'm making a comparison of you to Nazis.

I know you didn't say that, I am extrapolating from your comments that you made.

Oh, I see, you like people that are awkward, but hate people that don't have the ability to see boundries, you hate me and people like me that don't respect boundries - I guess you see socially awkward vs. not understanding boundries as two completely separate things, I get it. You hate all people who cannot distinguish between boundries, I get it. So what is your solution other than stating it? Do you want something for me to do, like kill myself. This is not a strawman, I'm just following the line of thought and offering to kill myself as one option that is a final solution for you.

As far as you losing sleep, man, you need to calibrate your emotions.

Imagine advocating the use of an unironic /s

slapping their ass is creepy and uncomfortable - you just never know where the line is, so best practices is to not to acknowledge women

Man, it must be so hard to go through life being this aggressively stupid, not knowing how to act around fellow human beings if you can't slap them on the ass. My condolences.

Three years from now: "I personally don't like being smiled at."

Six years from now: "I personally don't like being looked at."

Twelve years from now: "I personally don't like to feel air currents that I know darn well were altered by the presence of another person."

Twenty years from now: "I personally don't like feeling other people's gravitational pull."

This is what we're one generation away from.

Wow, nailed it. No one has ever disliked anything ever before and now suddenly everyone hates everyone because everyone's an antisocial misanthrope and it's only getting worse by the minute. I think you're really on to something here.

None of that is implied by what I wrote. I'd say "nice try", but it really wasn't.

Why are people quoting Mencken like he was some sort of intellectual? He is THE incel.

Forgive my self and fuck house, got it!!

As a former homely girl we know we're ugly, and we know it's out of pity. It's not going to land very well after we've been asked out as a joke.

This is assault in 2019.

Winking to a homely girl isn't sexual assault?

Only if you're also homely.

Tucker Carlson told me it's only rape if you get kidnapped from a bus stop.

Clean and maintain your living space. Cleaning and organizing helps put anxiety and depression to rest in the short term. It also keeps the anxiety and depression away long term when I come home and see a living space that’s worthy of living in. Additionally, everyone has been saying it but make your bed everyday. It’s such an easy thing to do everyday and makes the bedroom look 10x better.

*Edit: This is just my personal testimony; everyone experiences mental illness differently.

meh. neat freaks are uptight

Stop comparing your looks, life, finances, etc to everyone else's. Everyone is special, everyone is on their own path and chances are the person that seems way happier than you probably isn't. They just make it seem that way to hide the truth.

Stop comparing your looks, life, finances, etc to everyone else's

easier said than done, do you have some advice for that?

Fake it until you make it.

Seriously, my boss used to doubt my ability to do anything but I kept asking for a chance at said role I wanted. When x person quit they finally put me into the role thinking I would fail.

So for example I went into work and decided today I'm going to be Gordon Ramsay and I'm going to run this place like kitchen nightmares. Sure enough I just did it. Lol

Edit: Meant in terms of confidence boost. To people getting hot headed in comments...

I dont mean lie about x career. I meant like confidence boost.. people are thinking too closed minded.

Like if you trained to be an actor for years and then went into the job finally first day and were like oh shit how am I going to do this - I cant I'm just a wanker! So you say let me act like x actor would. Somehow you pulled it off and then later it clicks that well maybe it wasnt that x actor that got the job, it was you all along.

This can seriously backfire though.

I'm not saying not to take risks or not to be confident in your decisions, but faking it when it comes to some industries or managing certain employees can lose you respect and credibility at best, and endanger people's lives at worst.

"Fake it till you make it" doesn't mean lie about your technical capabilities. It's more along the lines of "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"; i.e. act in a manner congruent with being successful. Following the patterns of successful people ("faking it") will set you up for future success.

and how!

It's less fake it until you make, and more push for harder stuff that challanges you, but not at the expense of others.

I've worked with some A+ bullshitters and nearly always it ends in tears for everyone.

Hmmmm.... not sure what you're talking about.

-music major who was promoted to head of security at Equifax

Yeah obviously this is bad advice for a surgeon or a lawyer or whatever but it can work in many situations.

I dont mean like fake it like lie about the position your in to get in. More like confidence boost. Some people dont believe in themselves to do x job when they walk into work.

I'm more saying it as some one whose trained for it then gets the feels they cant and then says well okay let me not be myself and be like how x person in the same field would be.

Imposter syndrome im short

This worked for me!! I designed the software in the Boeing 737 Max 8

What do you do exactly?

Though for me, it would be quite a feat in creativity, demanding any improvement with packaged items. It's hard to pack a metal piece so poorly it could actually get damaged during shipping...

She's the prime minister for the UK.

That's how my dad got his job. He applied, said he had done the same work before although he never had, and when he was set to work he said "listen. I know how to work my old job's machines, not these. Could you show me please? "

Worked there for years without any suspicion. 😂

To be fair, a lot of machines in factories are super simple to run just by taking a minute to read all the button labels and figure out what does what as long as things are working normally, and in most cases there’s a maintenance guy/engineer in charge of fixing things when they aren’t working normally.

I didn't know this. I've never actually done a job working with machinery, so this was great to learn. Thanks! c:

The flip side is that, when you make it,you look back and realize you probably weren't faking it at all.

Eh, you have to be somewhat there already.

For example, in weightlifing, you probably don't want to try to go from benchpressing 135 pounds to 400 pounds and fake it til you make it, because you will die.

You have to work up gradually.

That is also why we go to school for 12 years, because we don't come popping out of the womb talking about calculus.

Meant in terms of confidence boost not like lying from the get go. Like said guy already trained for years but went into a tournament or something sports related. Thought well I'm still not good enough. Well u wont know till u try so why not say I'm x person and get in there. Some people need that extra kick and when it works out as it works out. Down the line they are going to make it out and say oh man it's not me pretending x y z but just me whose practiced as hard as I can.

Well, yes, I agree. We all need someone to push us, even if that person is ourselves, to get to the next level. I've been a coach before, so I know about pushing people to get over mental blocks. But still, a white belt can't fake being a black belt, for example. But I know what you're saying. But one still has to practice.

Unless you want to be a Brain Surgeon

They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.

Like 99% of the workplace. Most shit can be learned with some Google and confidence. Seriously.

Hate this advice.

Worst advice I ever received.

But you didn't actually fake it though. You just did it.

Freakin look at you, that’s awesome! I always use the “fake it til you make it”. I often find myself confused about reality and so when I live by this mantra I’m much more able at finding out what’s real and what isn’t the more I practice it. The false will weed itself out.

This is how I do it too. I always walk into work acting like a character and not myself. I found that some of the best days at work were days where I was being Gordon Ramsay and not me. I'm cool with friends and at home but that wasn't translating well at work. It's just hard to do that every day.

This is bad advice. Read/study in your field of choice to increase competency in said field. Although education doesn't substitute for experience, if you are already in the field you will find expanding yourself through education to be greatly beneficial. I actually think they do schooling backwards. You should go into a career and after 3-5 years of experience, take a few year break to then delve into the education side of things and really expand your competency there.

I dont mean lie about x career. I meant like confidence boost.. people are thinking too closed minded.

Like if you trained to be an actor for years and then went into the job finally first day and were like oh shit how am I going to do this - I cant I'm just a wanker! So you say let me act like x actor would. Somehow you pulled it off and then later it clicks that well maybe it wasnt that x actor that got the job, it was you all along.

Aye. Understood. And I totally agree with that!

Sorry for the initial misunderstanding sir!

Honestly every time i speak to someone looking for career advice, i tell them this.

As long as you aren't completely incompetent, you can Google shit and get away with most stuff you lied about on your cv. (obviously role dependant, maybe don't lie about having a medical degree or experience in disarming armed attackers?)

This is absolute trash advice for just about every professional job I can think of.

Wow! That's awesome! Good for you

Get a consistent sleep schedule, it makes all the difference in the world.

Just spend more time outside. Nothing calms me down or makes my day better as much as just sitting outside in the sun.

This right here is why I like to golf. I've already accepted that I'm not a pro, although I do strive to play better each time. The bigger aspect is being able to sit outside on a nice day for 4-5 hours.

Welcome to Germany I haven't seen the sun in 2 weeks at my area

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dont try changing your voice or accent when you talk to strangers

How to be a sociopath 101

In defense of this, they change their voice/accent because they're trying to make it easier for others to understand and it sometims it can be an unconscious change.

I'm absolutely shit at controlling my voice, and cannot do accents or changes consciously. Yet I'll sometimes find myself talking in a different mannerism to make it easier for people to understand.

Well sure, if it's subconscious. I'm thinking about the creeps who pick up chicks with fake English accents to sound more "exotic" at the bar

Yeah, that I agree with 100%

That’s just smart

How do you feel about make-up?

No dumbass it's called code switching and it's a very common subconscious linguistic phenomenon

Well there's a relevant username

Who changes their accent when talking to someone? Is this a thing? 🤔

Yeah but it’s generally an accident and the people doing it don’t realize they’re doing it

Ive been told I do this, I'm not trying to do it and now I'm all self conscious of my voice

I talk kind of southern when I'm talking to a southerner on the phone, but I don't normally. But in my defense, my dad's a bit of a redneck.

It's subtle, but definitely a thing. It's called code switching. My girlfriend complains I'm too hard to understand around my family because my accent gets so heavy.

I noticed my tone of voice tends to rise, it makes it easier for me to speak faster.

I have a friend who speaks fairly normally around me, but as soon as we are around anyone else he begins talking in a "surfer bro" kind of slang, and I have no idea why.

This might not be what you mean, but my voice is involuntarily different depending on how comfortable I am with the person I'm talking to. Social anxiety is a bitch!

If your "true" side is so wonderful then why not display that to the public rather than some shitty shallow persona? Nobody is expecting you to be a shitty person for sake of public image.

No one said it’s wonderful. It’s vulnerable

Get to really know someone who's had a traumatic childhood and maybe you'll begin to understand.

Shallow doesn't mean shitty, it just means something lacks depth or meaning. I pretty much never post deep things on social media or have super meaningful conversations with people (outside of literally like 2 people). Doesn't mean I'm shitty to others or talk shit, just means I'm more comfortable talking about a cute thing my cat did or a goofy thing that happened.

I believe that something else should be included when interacting with others. And that is not to view everything as a transaction or you doing a favor. I recently helped two friends on different occasions that were both moving from old apartments to a new apartment/house.

I helped a great deal, since I am one of the only guys in our circle of friends that has a car, and they being the kind people they are say they now own me a favor, the typical thing that happens when you go out of your way to help someone for a whole day. I don't plan on ever calling in the favor, because I helped them out of kindness and because that is what I believe good friends will do for each other. And also it's lovely spending time together with friends and joking around while moving.

Be aware of someone else's feelings.

Stay away from toxic people, remove them from your life and social media. Even if it's family.

Meditate

Meditation changed my life. I have taken medication for anxiety previously and meditation helped me control my obsessive/ruminating thoughts more than any medication has. Meditating on a regular basis helps me be my best self.

Could you describe how you meditate please ? Do you do something special ?

My suggestion would be don’t get caught up on “how to” meditate. When you meditate you enter a certain state of mind and everyone has different ways of doing that. For some people it’s a very active thing (think of the best athletes in the world, their sport is their meditation), for some people it’s painting or walking, for some journaling or chanting a mantra. Focusing on breathing and releasing expectation of what the experience should be tends to be fruitful in most meditation experiences though.

Also, if certain scents or light music help you relax, use them when you decide to meditate. Just my two cent.

Best advice I ever heard on how to meditate is not to worry if you are doing it good enough, just focus on your breath.

Do a YouTube search for “guided meditation 10 minutes” or 8 minutes or 15 minutes or whatever. Pick anything that sounds good and give it a try. :)

Thanks. Tbh I've got tons of such videos. I was interested in other, non YT approaches.

Oh ok! I like to sit and close my eyes and picture a narrow rainbow waterfall of energy coming from space. It flows down to the top of my head and in front if my face.

As I breathe in, I take in this pure radiant energy. I try to feel it go into every part of my body. It’s cleaning my insides.

As I exhale, I picture anything bad that was in me escaping in a cloud of black smoke or steam. So I breathe in goodness and breathe out the badness.

I dunno, it makes me feel nice. :)

Sorry, but I don't think you have to undermine medication prescription. Any psychiatrist would tell you what medication is and is not for. It also depends on the severity of the anxiety (i.e. being so anxious you can't be meditating even though you try). Medication will change the way you think to some degree, but people often benefit from psychotherapy (cognitive-behavioral, mindfulness) or meditation, and often these people have the best results.

I didn't say others would have the same results, I spoke specifically to my experience. Some people need it, I needed to learn how to control my thought patterns. Everyone should let a medical professional advise them.

can anyone recommend maybe some youtube channels to get started? i use headspace sometimes and love it but can’t afford to pay for it if it comes to that. TIA ♥️

I read a book that was called, I think, "8 minute meditation". It was a weekly plan outlined in the book. You'd read one chapter per week and you'd do one "exercise" each week. It's for beginners.

Insight timer

R/meditation my friend, plenty of great suggestions over there.

Not YouTube, but the 10% Happier podcast has some free guided meditations to get you started. They charge for the app after a week, so be sure to do the podcast route.

Look up meditationSHIFT. I think their program is only $14 or $28 where you play half up front and only pay the last half if you feel you gained something from it. I follow their method and i am a much happier human being.

Waking Up app by Sam Harris

Sitting down and simply doing deep breathing exercises can help. If you have an android wear watch or an apple watch, they have built in apps that guide you. Otherwise just look up a deep breathing video, play it, and focus on only that.

Two that I like are The Honest Guys (short guided meditations) and The Power of Knowledge (more spiritual of a focus but interesting and effective).

Headspace do a discount every now and then for the yearly subscription (I got it for 40% off) so keep an eye out for that. You can also use the free Basics sessions and repeat them. There are also daily meditation on the app that are sometimes free.

I'm not an expert, but the first 10 free headspace app guides lessons were pretty good

Mate it's literally doing nothing. Why do you need a youtube video for this?

Don't forget to like & subscribe & find inner peace.

Helps keep you on track with the meditation. Some people just need a guiding voice.

...and don't forget to click the notification bell and leave a comment. I'm on Patreon and take paypal.

Probably the best thing I ever did tbh. I'm less angry, my confidence went up, anxiety is more controlled and I even sleep better now because I actually relax before going to bed.

I meditate through lunch time. Two birds, one stone.

Can someone ELI5 how to meditate for the first time?

Download an app like headspace or follow one of the many guided meditations on YouTube. It’s quite easy to get started with simple techniques, just be patient as it takes practice.

Exercise. Not that I do it, but If I did, my life would definetely be better!

Consistently get to work 10 minutes early. It gives you a couple extra minutes to check emails, use the bathroom or just start your day. Not only that but people will notice that you’re always early so they’ll think you have initiative and then when you need to be late nobody says shit because they know you’re always early.

I'm regularly early for work so that I can have my breakfast before I start my shift. Trouble is the folk that bother me for work related things often get told to come back at 9am when i actually start. They get a little bit upset at being told to fuck off.

Do a ten minute circuit exercise program daily such as the following. Even just one circuit makes a big difference, no need to necessarily do more than 1.

15 push-ups, 20 second rest

15 burpees, 20 second rest

1 minute plank, 20 second rest

20 jump lunges, 20 second rest

15 dolphin push-ups, 20 second rest

20 frog squats, 20 second rest

15 triceps dips (use a chair or coffee table), 20 second rest

1 minute wall sit, 1 minute rest

Beginner: Go through once. Intermediate: Go through twice. Advanced: Go through three times.

Fun fact: the act of giving is the only act where the dopamine release doesn't diminish over time

Be honest... then you don't have to remember all the lies you've told :D

Lie, and it will improve your memory.

I just make all the lies my truth.

I'm 64 and I've made a life's effort of being the best version of myself. The one thing I tell young people is extend more grace and mercy to others. We're so quick to think people are jerks or stupid. My beloved wife of 29 years, the light of my life, died from cancer and I did not sleep well for a long time, probably over a year, despite taking several kinds of medications. I'm generally a nice guy and treat everyone as kindly as I can. But that lack of good, recuperative sleep made me a raging asshole. Was I a jerk? Yes, absolutely. Did I act stupid? Yep, quite a bit. But I was suffering literally the worst thing you can go through, losing the love of my life. Well, maybe losing a child is worse but I bet they are close. So when someone cuts you off in traffic or acts completely inappropriate or irrational, don't automatically label them with some pejorative. Instead, think, what are they going through to make them act this way? Because they too may be suffering greatly. Yes they may actually be a stupid jerk all the time but you've still kept your blood pressure normal and your own stress level at homeostatic levels by simply being empathetic.

Beautifully written - such wisdom. Thank you so much for taking the time to pen this.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is carrying a heavy burden ." - Ian Maclaren \~ 1898

Thanks. That quote is not just a platitude. You never know what someone is going through.

I’m sorry for your great loss.

Thanks. I cannot properly quantify how much this affected me. Many years ago I read about a successful businessman who lived in a city I lived in at the time. He'd married and his young wife died in child birth. He became completely dissolute, losing his business and becoming basically the town drunk. This was in the 1830's. I always thought that was such a stupid reaction. Yeah, it's awful to have your wife die but to completely destroy your own life because of it? Dumb. Till it happened to me. Then, then I understood. He did become famous for burying the dead in a cholera epidemic, many times sleeping at the cemetery. Contemporary accounts felt he didn't care if he lived or died so he volunteered to earn money while still being able to drink. No one cared if he buried these highly contagious corpses sober. Afterwards he was honored by the town but he never did recover and died a penniless homeless alcoholic. I have to say, I haven't taken that road but I can see it from mine. http://lexhistory.org/wikilex/solomon-william-king

Yes, one can only see clearly from the same vantage point. I’m glad you didn’t take that self destructive road. To honor the memory of a beloved spouse, gratitude for the years of a great marriage is a comfort. So many don’t have one good year. I chose to rejoice in the love I had, and the wonderful experiences we had together. Of course this took time and faith. Gratitude is a healing blessing.

I'm eternally grateful for our wonderful union. It wasn't automatic. We struggled but refused to give up and eventually with time and help we achieved a trusting and affectionate marriage. Even when she was alive we'd have survivor guilt discussions. So many marriages fail and many that survive are clearly unhappy ones. Why should we be so lucky? But we knew why. We'd done the work and not given up. I miss her every day and the sadness and loneliness, while diminished, never really go away. But one either curls up in the fetal position or one goes on. I choose to go on. My family, friends and children get a large part of the credit. They supported me unconditionally and I'll never forget that or be able to repay it.

Awww, that is just beautiful! You are repaying their support each day that you keep moving forward. Remember always, that love never dies. Love is always with you. It’s the one thing that can be taken and also left behind. The best thing to do with love is to keep spreading it. Through children, community, nature, animals ... it’s endless. The more you give, the more you receive. A wonderful testament to a lasting bond. Thanks for sharing this. I’m certain your words will be a light to others. ✨

This is so true. After my dad died, I was shocked to find that watching my mom break down was actually more difficult than just dealing with his loss. I watched her do things that were totally out of character while she fought with grief, and thought to myself that people who didn't know what she was going through probably thought she was crazy. Learned that lesson a few times over since then, but yeah. Long story short, you never really have a clue what someone else is going through, so have some freaking empathy. Be a kind human. It costs you nothing.

PS, I hope your grief is easier to bear now.

Yes and no. I'm 11 1/2 years out and have fully entered what grief groups call the 'new normal'. But I hasten to say you do not get over this sort of loss, you get used to it. My sadness and loneliness have never really gone away but I find joy where I can, mostly with our children and the grandchildren she never got to meet. Thanks for your kind words.

practice mindfulness and start meditating regularly! next time you are waiting in line at the store or are just bored, focus on your breath for a few minutes. focus on different parts of your body while you breath, try to direct your breath into the part of your body you are focusing on. pretend that the breath is flowing in and out of that body part. it can be difficult to start and your mind may become very active, but your thoughts are not who you are. listen to them, don't try to push them away. accept them and learn to love them. there are no real problems in the moment, problems only seem real when you are thinking of the past or the future. :)

Clean parts of their homes slowly. Maybe 2 hours a day. In a few days the house is clean and kempt and there will be this sense of achievement and pride and cleanliness you've never imagined

Stretch

Exercise.

Even if it's 10 pull ups or push ups or sit-ups a day or walking up 3 flights of stairs.

Just do some.

Read more often

*reads r/AskReddit*

especially hard copy e.x. newspaper

& non-fiction books

Brush your teeth. Teeth problems seriously degrade your life.

Don’t wait on certain people or situation to happen to improve your life. You are the one person who can make a change.

Refuse to be lazy.

A few years ago I realized most of the stuff I needed to do to make my life better takes just a slight bit more effort at first, right now, but makes my life so much easier in the end.

I vowed to never stop myself from doing something just because I'm tired or dont want to spend energy. That would NEVER be the reason I would not do something.

Sometimes I fail. But this strategy has made my life 10x better.

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Change your diet. If you eat like shit you’ll feel like shit.

This. I'm struggling so bad with a shit diet. Zero motivation to cook or shop for ingredients.

Brush your gums and floss twice a day

Flossing twice a day is a lot don't you think

Yeah. Brush twice, floss once at night.

Does anyone remember that thread about flossing then masturbating?

Flossing once day potentially leaves bits of food in your teeth for 23 hours. Gross.

If you floss right before going to sleep as another comment suggested and you sleep just 6 hours that would still not be 23h. Still gross, but only 18h gross at most. And thats just if you eat right after waking up and flossing right before you fall asleep.

​

Also: Keep in mind that there's people who don't floss at all, like I never did until recently, because literally no one ever said I should. My dentist recommended that to me a few weeks ago for the first time. Flossing isn't as common over here than it is in the US and other countries I guess.

because literally no one ever said I should.

Parents getting roasted

😂😂 I mean, yeah pretty much. How else would little turbogreenbean have known about flossing?:( I heard about it for the first time when I was in like what? 7th or 8th grade maybe? And even then they said it was optional and I didn't have to, so me being lazy I never really thought it would have a big impact.

Yeah you should definitely be eating an hour after you floss.

Floss at night after you eat for the last time and you're food-free for like 10 hours depending on when you eat breakfast.

Drink. More. Water.

I stack 13 poker chips. Every time I drink a cup of water, I remove a chip. I drink 13 cups this way.

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I bawled my eyes out watching wall-e last night when I couldnt sleep.

Though to be fair I am 20 weeks pregnant and that may have had something to do with it.

The worst part is when he gets the plant but then he almost self destructs the escape pod hes in. HE JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING NICE BUT INSTEAD HE ALMOST RUINED EVERYTHING BEYOND REPAIR AND NEARLY OBLITERATED HIS OWN EXISTENCE and I relate too much to that.

And then he goes and gets himself squished and almost dies and doesnt remember eve :(. Thank God for happy endings though ahahaha

Keep you car clean. get gas otw home, don't try to squeeze it in the morning.

Make your bed your sanctuary of sleep and nothing else, no phone, no tv.

Have a sex on the floor, got it!

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It is absolutely necessary for perpetually late people, yet rarely happens because perpetually late people tell themselves, “I’ll just leave earlier in the morning.”

Source: Me, a perpetually late person

Everybody read the comment...

Make goals and live with more intent, maybe something like that? Don't just piss away your life watching Netflix.

Going to the gym is also a great place to start, sometimes when I'm working out I come up with good ideas for my life because the gym gives me a place to be without distractions.

This is so true! Im currently trying to transition from wasting my time on youtube to doing something productive after work hours. Dont know exactly how I will get there, i need some motivation.

Delete Facebook.

Put your phone down.

Spend more time outside.

When you take off your socks and other clothes, make sure they are not inside out when you put them in the laundry basket. Makes doing laundry so much easier when you don't have to invert everything all at once.

Although always wash your jeans inside out, it prevents any dye from bleeding onto your other clothes, and keeps dark jeans dark.

Any t-shirts with some sort of design/pattern should also be washed inside out.

In fact, I'd recommend washing basically everything inside out if you care about the longevity of your clothes.

Just need to test out what Works for them personally, I've been doing that for a while to see how my body reacts to different amount of sleep/food/exercise.

2 hours sleep, 8 big Macs, no exercise.

Volunteer and be in service to others. It's such a humbling experience to help those who are less fortunate. Even better, sit down and ask these people about their experiences. You will never see the world in the same way again.

Make your bed everyday

Be kind to others

Get rid of toxic people and friends

Especially those who actually ENJOY drama! They tend to create it wherever they go.

Quit smoking

Quit nicotine. I’ve had friend who quit smoking but we’re dipping... I get nausea thinking about those dip cups... or bottles ... or egh. Excuse me I need to puke....

Place your alarm across the room from you. I have trouble waking up in the mornings, so the act of having to get out of bed to turn the alarm off really helps to get rid of that sleepiness

I do that, but now I find myself constantly grabbing my phone, and getting back in bed, or just laying there until it's too late. Any suggestions?

-yells across room “Alexa, shut up!”

Surround yourself with good/supportive people. I used to have these in high school but ever since I’ve moved to college their has been a shortage of this in my life. It takes a toll.

Stop apologizing unless you actually made a big mistake and can't rectify it yourself quickly.

Can't answer your phone before it stops ringing? You're not sorry. "Hey, I couldn't make it to the phone on time, thanks for understanding" when you call back.

It's a difficult part of faking confidence, but everyone will give you a lot of respect and know you really mean it when you do need to apologize.

No. This comes up in LPT a lot. Thanking people for understanding when you fucked up instead of taking responsibility for your actions is patronizing.

This is hard as a Canadian

Stop eating sugar! or at least cut back. Soda is poison, stop drinking it. Yes even the diet crap.

Honestly, you haven't lived till you try cutting sugar AND carbs (not including fiber) for a week. I use the blanket term "carbs" because the moment you put them in your mouth they convert to sugar. If you quit sugar but still eat bread, you are still sugaring up.

And broccoli. What happens to that in your gut. lol.

broccoli/cauliflower rice is a perfect alternative to normal rice or pasta is you want to cut back on carbs.

My somewhat rhetorical question still stands. Unless you are eating fat, and in ketosis, then you are burning glucose.

Edit: downvotes for the truth

What about juice? Some juices have the same amount of sugar as sodas...

Reading quality literature.

Play a sport

If you don't like being in a team you can play solo sport too like I did. Being alone isn't a weird thing to do.

Golf is a great sport, gets you outside in nature - can play on your own or with other people.

Wii sports>>>

just walk instead of renting a cart

This is why I like tennis. It's a solo and a team sport depending on your mood. Hell, you can just play against a wall if you're feeling really anti-social that day.

I did athetics for 8 years and now I go to the gym. I only play soccer with friends because we are play in a non-competitive way.

This is why I love squash! Literally playing against a wall, and then sometimes there is somebody else on courtto manuever round.

I’ve come to terms with being lonely. I love playing basketball on my own. I practice drills and shooting some free throws.

Which one?

I really like mixed gender slowpitch softball - you can have a few drinks while you play and you meet all kinds of great people, the game is fun, I always end the season in better shape than I start :)

That sounds so fun!

Any sport will do I guess as long as you enjoy doing it

Underrated comment.

There is so much fun to be had, that people are missing out on. You are NEVER to old to learn sports, even if you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s go join a sports club that interests you.

Swap coffee for green tea and soda/vitamin "water" for actual water.

Vaccinate your children

Stop giving your phone more attention than you give yourself. Enjoy your surroundings instead of always having to take pictures. You will remember more because of the attention you put into it and later in life you will be happier from having the memories.

And if you have a shit memory?

You have no idea how much that applies to me. Left temporal lobotomy 6/1/11. I only have a 3-6 month memory. However, I'm so much happier enjoying my time instead of looking at a screen. I actually get depressed seeing things that I don't remember. I like to concentrate on the present instead of the past. I may time some at important times but not all the time. Just enjoy yourself and let yourself live.

I only take pictures of pretty landscapes and stuff, I don't like selfies, etc and I look at all of it with my own eyes anyway.

Be more silent.

I wish I could tell this to my extrovert friends... well mainly my extrovert roommate. This person always has to be socializing and I think it gets to the point where I’ll try to socialize and this person will keep talking and talk over me. Part of being social is listening to others. Listen and silent.

You mean like talk less?

Smile more?

Aaron Burr, Sir

No, stop farting. Be deadly.

Exercise !!!! I can’t believe no one said this. Just 10 minutes a day can change your daily mindset.

Consistency is key.

They did! Dude, loads of people said this already

Well they have now, this person said that the same hour the post was made 11 hours ago.

Meditation

Keep your bedroom clean and neat. Imagine it in the perfect state and just make it that way. Including your clothes being folded/hung and unwrinkled.

You'll feel better about yourself and won't even realize why.

Practice mindfulness. It'll change your life.

Learn to forgive and forget, it will make you super peaceful and happy.

Don't dwell on the past and what could have been, I spent 10 years doing it and recently stopped and I couldn't be happier.

When I find myself starting down a spiral of negative thoughts, I found that the best thing to do is to focus on not thinking (like clearing your mind for meditation). It works even better than trying to think positive thoughts.

Going to talk to a psychiatrist is probably one of the biggest things someone can do to better their life. Mental health is important yet we don't always give it the attention that it needs. We all have problems in our lives and we're not always equipped to deal with them or process the emotions. It's had a phenomenal impact on my life and I highly recommend it to everyone.

Make an effort to be early, for everything.

So much less stress...

Stretch every day.

Do something productive consistently

I'd say the opposite is true. It's not good for your mental health to think you need to be doing something important all the time. Resist the pressure to be constantly productive and enjoy doing something for what it is, without any expectation or worry about what the outcome may be.

It goes without saying that both should be done in moderation though.

Yeah that's probably ehy my mental state is shit

yes, we all need to rest. Then we can be more productive and creative afterwards. It's all about balance.

I think you're conflating consistency with constancy. I go to the gym 3 times a week, that is consistency. If I spent every minute doing workouts at my desk, that would be constancy. Of course you take breaks, but you should always be improving yourself at regular intervals, even if in small ways.

Too bad I have no motivation

Motivation can easily be replaced by routine. I don't need motivation to brush my teeth, it's just part of the routine. Anything you make part of the routine will require motivation to NOT do.

You need motivation to start a routine though

Use a reusable cup, simple way to be a bit more green.

Also a reusable water bottle. I have an glass one now and it's great. No micro plastics.

Avoid the comments section in social media platforms.

OK wtf

I was trying to be funny, but I failed.

I'll take my down votes with shame!

drink at least 2 glasses of water a day

exercise, even if its only for 10 minuets a day and your form is terrible, do some push ups or crunches

have a clean room

make your bed every morning, as soon as you get up

floss, it is essential for good dental health

eat a decent breakfast, a single piece of toast is not a breakfast people!

and get a good night sleep! no late night reddit browsing, 10pm , go to sleep!

oh, and see a therapist if you need one, they really do help. and don't hesitate to switch therapists if they are mentally harming you

even if its only for 10 minuets a day and your form is terrible

No no no no and no.

Exercising with poor form, even lightly, is not ideal. Over time you will cause endless issues that are a pain to deal with. Proper form is not any more difficult, just look it up online.

100% this, you dont want to be dealing with back problems a year down the line, while it could have been avoided easily by just looking up how to do them properly and paying attention to it while doing the exercise

interesting, thanks

edit: now that I think about it I think your misunderstanding my a bit, or maybe I just didn't communicate this well. what I meant is a short workout and bad form, to start off. you can barely do a single pushup (with good form) when starting off. so im saying you should improve form and workout length as you improve.

Totally got this. Seemed pretty obvious. But the reddit police are always at the ready! 🙄

The “reddit police” in this case have dealt with these issues thanks to injuries and other problems and are just trying to help others avoid dealing with the same. They really suck.

No need for the reddit police here. Her meaning seemed clear: you don’t have to do it perfectly or look perfect doing it, just do it (exercise), that’s the important part. Yes, if you’re talking heavy weight lifting (more than dumbbells) or parachuting, then you can jump in and tell her she’s wrong and correct her with your superior knowledge. And yes I agree that proper technical form is important in those cases, but reddit so often jumps on people and corrects them when they’re just trying to make a point. Seemed obvious to me and did not make me think for an instant that I could run out and deadlift 300lbs without any regard for instruction or proper form.

Give people a little credit, that’s all I’m sayin.

Except you’re still not getting it - doing even basic exercises incorrectly can absolutely cause you damage. A lot faster than you realise.

Go for a run with hunched shoulders a few times a week and you’ll have back pain in a couple weeks for example. Incorrect pushups can put enormous strain on your joints and cause issues. “Just doing it” isn’t of any use if you’re hurting yourself, which you 100% can do.

It takes very little effort to learn how to do a push-up properly, there’s no reason to not do so.

Are you fucking serious?????! Hahaahahahah One thing you’re right about: there’s someone here not getting it! Good lord, your life must be fun.

Chronic pain from injuries isn’t particularly fun no. But laugh away, with your attitude I’m guessing you’ll enjoy your own soon enough.

It only hurts when I laugh.

I mean maybe, alternatively you can just do a different exercise such as a half pushup or a wall pushup with the correct form. You'll get better results if you build yourself up properly.

interesting, have heard of those, ill check em out

Agree. If I have bad form I could end up disabled. I’m building up strength in parts of my body that were paralyzed twice, and still are weaker than I’d like. Form is everything to being successful. I also don’t want to drop weight on my neck or head.

I shudder to think how bad your form must be if you can drop weight on your head doing push-ups or crunches.

I did enough pushups with the army I don’t really want to do more. I really enjoy weightlifting though. I’m a stroke survivor so for a long time I was afraid to do much overhead weight work in case my right arm decided to give up. I would drop things from the right hand for a while.

As for pushups and crunches, I have seen people with bad form, it looked awful, and I don’t know if they even got any benefit from doing the exercise like that.

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Yes it absolutely will. Sitting at a desk incorrectly can hurt you... just use proper form.

Breakfast is overrated, and you should drink a lot more than 2 glasses of water a day. Especially if you’re exercising.

Breakfast is definitely the most important meal of the day. I just choose to have breakfast around 2pm. Seriously though, eating multiple meals throughout the day is vastly overrated and actually a detriment to many people's health. If people started fasting throughout portions of the day, we'd see a lot more healthy people walking around.

I try to fast by not eating bfast, but with the beetus I have, well really the meds for it, can't always manage it : / which sucks because I actively dislike eating in the morning lol.

As someone who was heavily into fitness dieting etc in the past. This is 100% true.

It is overrated and noone ever tells you any alternative , there are tons of people that can't eat in the morning for various reasons and other people that eating in the morning makes them more hungry during the rest of the day (myself included)

So just eat whenever you feel like its best for you and the best way to find out is experiment.

No amount of book/article/reddit reading or videos will help you more than actually experimenting and trying things for yourself.

You can spend years of speculating and studying instead of doing and finding out for real, trust me I have learned this the hard way.

I know I'm late to this but it's so funny how scared I was of intermittent fasting. I'm losing weight and it got suggested to me and I never did it because I have always eaten breakfast and couldn't imagine life without it. Day one was shit but literally, on day 2 I was already fine with not eating until 11AM (I do 11AM-7PM)

No idea if it's helping or if it's actually good for you but I don't think I'll ever eat breakfast for sustenance ever again. Maybe just once a month or 2 if I fancy a nice fry-up or something to treat myself.

Yes! I was at the same place.

The first week i got those fake hunger pangs, but if i drank water it was all ok.

That's when i realized how much of that feeling is just a habit. After a week i could wake up in the morning and eat as late as 6pm without any problems. (with the exception that i did need a snack if i was going to do a heavy gym session that day)

Yeah breakfast is horrible if you want to lose weight, you have to work out more cause you have all those new calories you need to burn before you get to the fat.

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Not really, if you skip breakfast, you’ll probably eat a bigger lunch without realising.

There is no good research (not sponsored by cereal companies) that substantiates this statement. Skipping breakfast for dropping weight is perfectly fine.

I find I eat more throughout the when I have breakfast. I fast from 8pm until 12pm the next day and that has been working for me for years. Everyone’s different.

Na fuck that fat acceptance talking point. Skipping breakfast doesn’t mean you have to binge at lunch. Self-control is the key. Your lack of it isn’t an excuse.

What? I skip lunch all the time but personally, breakfast is a must, even if it is later in the day.

drink at least 2 glasses of water a day

By the time I leave my house in the morning for work I've already had at least 2 glasses of water. I don't get how people need to be told to drink water. I probably have like 10 glasses of water a day and I still feel like I could drink more.

I don't know what's considered a glass, but I'm pretty sure I'm averaging at least 3 liters a day

A glass is like 12-16oz. Just another name for a cup.

Wait, what?

2 glasses of water a day is WAY too little; you’d dry up into a prune. Exercising with bad form for even 10 minutes can still cause SERIOUS damage!

no no no. this isn’t the right thread for you, buddy.

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Since I have upped my water intake i feel way better.

​

Even though there's nothing wrong with your water statement I would suggest that SOME people try and "force" themselves to drink a bit more. Just a thought.

Drink when you're thirsty, setting a fixed number of glasses to drink is mostly nonsense.

sigh

Anyone who has a B.S. in Nutrition has heard the following phrase hundreds of times:

"[xyz] is associated with the most positive health outcomes"

Nutrition science is no longer the practice of prescribing foods to treat acute ailments, as it once was. That era ended roughly a hundred years ago. That brand of nutrition science was far more measurable and direct. For example:

  • 100 subjects diagnosed with scurvy

  • 100 patients treated with daily citrus intake

  • 0 patients with scurvy after x days.

Nutrition science no longer looks like this. The studies are much more complex and difficult to measure these days. The questions being asked are not "what can I eat to cure my illness?" but rather "What are the best dietary practices to achieve the best health outcomes throughout the lifespan"

When dealing with a large sample size, The practice of encouraging water intake beyond the minimum that is compelled by thirst, is associated with the most positive health outcomes.

This does not explicitly contradict whichever youtube personality explained to you that you can survive by drinking only when you're thirsty, but it does put things in terms of "the best possible health outcomes" which has been the proper way to discuss these issues for about 100 years.

I just get irked by how many people think they're ahead of the pack because they know the truth, that you can actually survive on less than 8 glasses of water a day...

Yeah.. No shit Sherlock.

I read "make your bed" as "pull back the covers to air the bed" which is definitely a good idea. Actually making it all tidy and pretty is for later on - lunchtime if you're at home, or when you get in from work. Or like ten minutes before you plan to get in it. Whatever.

And when you change the sheets, hoover the mattress. Steam it perhaps. Don't question why because the answer is gross and will spoil your day.

yea thanks iv seen Adam ruins everything too. I set this rule because my mother, father, and sister all just don't feel thirst, so i set this rule mostly because of them, they can go weeks without water before feeling thirsty, oddly enough, they've all had kidney stones. very bad kidney stones. so I drill them about drinking water.

Some say that if one is feeling thirst they are already mildly dehydrated.

I don't see the benefit in making my bed can you pls enlighten me

Pulling back the covers allows the sheets to dry off properly (you sweat nearly half a pint overnight) and airs the mattress. This means bacteria and parasites aren't made welcome. You should really do this as a minimum. It takes like three seconds for the last person out of bed to drag the covers over, and can prevent bedbugs and other skin issues, and stops your sheets from stinking.

Actually straightening out the covers so it looks freshly made is more about state of mind. You know how nice it is to get into a bed that somebody else made? Well, it works even if that somebody else was Past You. Depending on your exact bedclothes setup, this can also take under a minute. We have just fitted sheet, 2 pillows each and a duvet, so it takes me like twenty seconds to "make" the bed by shaking the duvet out and getting it straight, and the bed looks so much more inviting than when the covers are rumpled everywhere.

It's just mood booster, small undone tasks pile up and subsconciously burden you throughout your day/life.

Making a habit of taking care of them will make you more mentally prepared and unburdened to take on more important things.

That being said, i'd say brushing your teeth is way more important than making your bed cause you actually do in fact benefit yourself not only mentally but also physically.

sure, there is a book titled "make your bed" by Admiral William H McRaven. it's a great book and I highly recommend it. in the first bit, he goes on about his time in basic training in the army (could have been the marines I forget). he states that making your bed is good because it gives you one small task in the morning to have accomplished. just to start your day off with having already done something is nice, give it a try, also it keeps things neat. so I guess it would be a subsection of keeping your room neat.

2 glasses of water is way too little. You're supposed to drink eight 8-ounce glasses for proper hydration.

people say "8 cups of water" if you go to google and search "how many cups are in a glass" it should say that 8 cups is equal to 1 glass of water, so 2 glasses is more than enough

Uh what? A glass is not a unit of measurement. Drink at least 64 oz of water a day, doesn’t matter what size vessel.

except, a glass is a unit of measurement, defined at 8 cups.

No. It’s not. And that would be absurd.

I think you are thinking that a “glass” is 8 ounces, not cups. 8 cups would be a huge glass. 2 glasses would be 16oz. Nowhere near enough.

nooo you’re full of good intentions but TERRIBLE advice

I just googled that exact thing and got this:

Most people need about 8 glasses of water or water equivalents a day (one glass = 8 ounces or 1 cup).

I agree with the other guy, 2 glasses of water definitely doesn't seem like enough. Unless OP is saying substitute 2 of your normal glasses of juice, soda, coffee, with 2 glasses in addition to your regular water consumption.

yea thats reasonable, if you drink a cup of coffee than drink an extra cup of water.

Well, it was just supposed to be one thing. Can you pick just one? 😂

“Switch if they aren’t mentally harming you”

This! Not every therapist is a good one, and not every therapist is going to be a good fit. I am a Christian but love the f word. That didn’t go over well with my Christian therapist. Now my therapist lets me scream it if I need to. Find the right fit. Try a few out in your area and pick the one you like.

lol, catholic here, yea i dont use swear words alot but unless your using the lords name in vain, or cursing someone to hell, I dont really have a problem with em.

Yeah sometimes you just need to swear! I’m not constantly using them but if I’m really having a hard time I feel like I should be allowed to use it

Genuine question, what if you can’t afford therapy? What are some good alternatives? I’ve been trying to find some therapists that take my health insurance but I couldn’t find the ones that do that might be a good fit for me. Some sessions are really out of my budget.

You could Google "7 cups" (completely SFW) for a supportive MH community and trained listeners. Also cheap online therapy.

Good luck.

then get a financial advisor, im not sure how most work but i can tell you how my fathers operate at least. they put your money in the stock market and they make about 1% of what you make. so they're completely free and they make you money. do that till you can afford a therapist, however, they are best for the long term so it might be a while.

dude stop. 😂😂 giving (good) advice is not your thing but your heart is in the right place.

you do not know how the world works. Hiring a financial advisor for investing in stocks is the dumbest “solution” for unaffordable mental health care I’ve ever heard. Tone deaf at best.

What helped you find a good therapist? If anything. I’m just doing this thing where I get extremely indecisive and can’t pick a therapist to call or set something up with

oh, I don't have a therapist, iv never needed one. this is all just what iv heard over the years, I recommend just trying one, and if ya don't like him/her, go to another.

Ok np. Thanks

make your bed every morning, as soon as you get up

But leave the sheets open - let your bedding and mattres air.

Fuck breakfast. I'm not hungry in the morning, and I'm tired of people saying that it is important. I feel fine. I eat later in the morning/early afternoon.

all im saying is

you looked on this life improvement thread

they tell ya to do something that your not doing

and you refuse to do it

Sorry I'm a little grouchy. I didn't eat any breakfast.

floss, it is essential for good dental health

my dentist & hygienist have both advised the opposite, they both say good brushing eliminates the need to floss

iv been wondering that too, so i decided to test it, i got an electric toothbrush and everything, after i brushed i also flossed and there was still some gunk left

might just be based on the individual tbh

I don't ever have plaque in my teeth when I go to checkups but I've also had mine straightened by braces so they're probably easier to brush

yea i have pretty crooked teeth, and my family has always had bad dental health

Tell the truth

Always look on the bright side of life.

Cut out unnecessary spending (we're all wasting money on something if not many somethings)

We all think buying a coffee a day or the new iPhone, or even the shiny new car will improve our lives, but in practice it does nothing but chain us to our jobs and add stress to our lives.

Cutting spending is more powerful than a raise. It allows you to save money and accumulate enough wealth to feel comfortable when "something bad" happens, to not worry about losing a job or fretting about a broken appliance or car maintenance.

Also cutting spending requires less production of material things which is better for the environment. Try riding your bike to the store (save money on fuel, car wear and tear etc.) Walk to your friends house.

Drink more water.

Make your bed in the morning. It's an accomplishment to start your day and just might give you that confidence boost you need.

Eat less sugar. After only a few days of cutting down on my sugar intake, I already started feeling more energized.

Spend 15 minutes a day just sitting and watching nature. Preferably while in a natural environment like a park, but do what you can do.

Spend an hour a week trying something entirely new. Even if you decide at the end of that 'wtf.'

Spend a day a month without access to your phone / internet / ...

Stop reading the news.

Society seems to have this obsession with knowing what’s happening in the world.

Someone being an asshat almost always makes zero difference to my day to day existence. News just makes you angry/upset/intolerant.

News makes me anxious as fuck. The reality is there are less terrible things happening now then there ever has been. Those assholes are intentionally picking the worst things they can find to air so people will watch. I wish one news outlet just focused on what improvements have been made to society.

Yup. News is a business, like any other. They play off people's fears to keep them coming back for more. It's a way of addicting you to consuming their product. I think the above poster goes too far saying stop watching, but definitely limit your exposure. I have a friend who's entire life is watching news and political think pieces on youtube. He's too busy worrying to actually change any of the things he's worrying about.

We are really not meant to witness/read about tragedies every day, it makes you fearful of life and depressed.

This isn't upvoted enough IMO.

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People generally overemphasize the impact laws and who is elected have on their day-to-day life. It’s good to be informed, but obsessing over it definitely leads to unhappiness.

I usually say that if something is on the news it's rare enough that we don't need to worry about it.

The only news I ever see is anything that is on the front page of reddit while I'm browsing it.

People will read news about an injustice countries away from them and become more hateful and jaded. It's just ruining people. It's not that we should stay ignorant but we should focus on the lives around us rather than treat every single tragic incident in this world as if it is our own. We're not meant for that kind of stress and we're pretty good at ignoring things like the suffering of the poor.

I'd say this is good advice.

Just skip the articles with topics you don't enjoy?

Stick your head in the sand. Top notch advice.

I dont think he means stay uninformed, i think he means it as, dont read the news constantly

Give more up votes

Gib moar Gold plz

No, it puts unnecessary strain on reddits servers.

Don't listen to this fool! The real road to happiness is giving imaginary internet points to me!

Ho ho ho...

Live in the present moment. Accept that there will always be things outside your control. Stop the endless worrying about said things. Most of our suffering is created by our own minds.

"Dont be anxious lol"

Read something written by Aldous Huxly.

Don't watch TV.

It's not really that different to watching YouTube though

No worries, I've got NetflIx and HBO!

Are Reddit gifs okay?

TFW you are going to school for cinematography :P

TV is just for displaying video games, what would I watch it for?

You have to watch it to see the displayed video games

Can I watch Netflix?

No! and you can't Chill either ;).

Yeahhhh, that's going to be a no for me, Dog.

stop drinking / sleep properly / hydrate / exercise - in six months you'll feel like a new person

Try to look at things in a positive light and try not to dwell on the negatives. Surround yourself with positive people and try to reduce exposure to negative people. Works wonders especially if you’re not getting dragged into needless drama.

Love themself

Self compassion is key!

Go for a 15 minute walk each morning and evening. Even if it's just around the block once or twice.

I dont work out nearly enough, but I do feel better on days where I take my dog on 2 or 3 long walks vs days where it's cold or raining (you would think Kafka was made of cotton candy how scared he is of rain lol) and we might only walk 15 minutes total.

And for the record he always gets enough walks as if I'm not taking him out my roommate is lol

Take an early morning walk. Just 10 minutes will do the trick. There’s something about the early morning air that can just charge you up for the rest of the day

Meditation, taking a moment to decompress without any distractions is really helpful IMO

Use wet wipes on their ass.

A bidet is more eco friendly and doesn't help fat burgs build up in the sewers.

Happy cake day!

Wet wipes are terrible. They don’t break down in drains and clog sewer systems. There’s an Adam Ruins Everything episode about this.

Then don't flush them.

Hi I never said to put them down the toilet. I didn't need Adam to tell me that it is a long known fact lol.

Stop smoking!

intermittent fasting

And prolonged fasting once in a while.

Stop being afraid to say no to the things you don’t want to do, and yes to the things you do!

Have a self-care day over the weekend. Eat well, relax, spend time with people you love, do things you enjoy, take that bubble bath and put on that facial mask. etc.

Ain't no one is gonna love yourself more than you, and even then it starts with little baby steps. Treat Yoself.

Keep yourself busy, you’ll spend less time overthinking and worrying about trivial things, this really helped with my anxiety

Meditate. All it takes is 10 minutes a day.

Stop drinking alcohol

Start meditating. It's free, interesting, and if practiced with diligence and correct technique, it will probably be one of the most important things you do. For a free app I recommend Insight Timer, and for a paid app I recommend Waking Up (although there are plenty of other great apps). Or just search for guided meditations on YouTube. r/meditation is a great place to start. I also highly recommend their discord server.

Take a little time at the end of each day to prepare yourself for tomorrow. That extra 10 or 15 minutes can really help start the next day off on a good path

Put down the phone. Sit in silence. Think about life. Enjoy being alive.

Start meditating!

Get enough sleep every night.

Get a pet.

Even if it's just a fish you have someone waiting for you to come home and take care of them and it gives you a reason to get up in the morning.

Listen.

Make your bed each morning. Gives you a slight boost to accomplish something else, and if you end up having a terrible day, then at least you'll come home to a bed that is made.

I was on this spin loooong before most others, glad the concept has spread thus far!

Stop buying shit to impress people you don't know.

Stop buying shit to impress people you don't know.

Take responsibility for your life, 99% of YOUR problems are because of YOUR decisions no one else.

Take a 20 minute walk.

Don't buy a brand new car. Don't look at a car as a status symbol. Depreciation makes it a terrible investment. I'm not saying drive a sh*t box, I drive a 2013 BMW because I'm a car guy and it has a turbo V6 BUT I just bought it in 2019. Even if I cared about status, it would still be a better financial decision. 90% of the population can't tell the difference between my car and a brand new one. Now don't reply with "But what about repairs? Parts are so expensive!" It's a mechanical object, when one part wears out you put a new one on. Then guess what? That part of the car is NEW! IF you just love that new car smell, then lease it, treat it like a phone. So in a nutshell, buying a car is the biggest financial mistake most people make.

Stop drinking soda/juice. You can cut a massive amounts of calories and sugar from your diet. You’ll likely lose a decent amount of water weight.

Never neglect people because you feel more educated than them. Everyone you meet knows something you don't

Go to therapy. You've got little to lose by trying it. You don't have to be in a crap place in your life to go and going doesn't mean your weak or crazy or disturbed or broken. And there are often community resources for cheaper options if you think therapy is too expensive. It's worthwhile to talk to someone about things going on in your life to help you recognize patterns and more helpful ways of dealing with others and dealing with yourself. Also, just merely talking about things, with someone who is no judgemental and who can listen empathically, is cathartic. It's self empowering.

Any kind words

Stop talking shit about yourself. To yourself.

Limit their smartphone usage to 2 hours a day or less. Improves sleep, lessens distractions, makes you feel like an actual part of the world.

If you are fat, lose weight. It really is not that hard, if you are motivated enough there are plenty of ways to go about it

I disagree. Yeah, it’s very simple, but It IS hard. It’s just a calorie deficit but staying disciplined is not easy.

You have to be really motivated. You cant be half way there, you have to decide you want a change and stick to it. That What i did atleast

You're literally describing a thing that is very difficult. I'm an ex-fat dude. Lost over 50 pounds. It was, and is, hard every day. Nobody wakes up and says, "I think I'm going to start developing a shitty relationship with food today," and yet it happens to massive numbers of people worldwide. It's a brutal cycle to break out of, even if you're privileged and have easy access to healthy options and the time to prepare them.

My wife lost 115 pounds, 240-135. Took two years of changing lots of bad habits, lots of walks and self control. It’s doable but it’s definitely challenging and there are endlessly people saying they have the answer on how to do it.

I lost 22 kgs in 5 months, worked out for an hour everyday and kept myself in a calorie deficit. No diets or anything, just lots of protein and veggies and i could eat whatever i wanted as long as i was under like 2.5 k calories

I hate the word diet because so many people have a negative connotation of it based on misunderstanding. So many people think diet means calorie restrictions. It doesn't. Diet is just whatever you eat. You had a diet before. Your diet now consists of more protein and veggies. Every person in the world is on a diet, so no one goes on a diet, they just change their diet.

See and I’m very happy for you, but she had to overcome food addiction. If you are fat, temporarily running a calorie deficit with some special plan will of course lose weight. But if you go back to doing the same shit after you hit your weight, it will come back. She made life style changes. I’m glad it was easy for you, but don’t assume everyone has the same path or complications.

Yeah its true its a lifestyle change. I still hit the gym everyday, just with new goals.

I’m guessing by your username that your wife keeps an eye on your account

Nope! I was just lazy. I have a complete other account with more creative names. Lol.

I imagine it's hard of people suffer from depression

Eat healthy, exercise, read and drink more water

Another life changing thing you can do is use an Oxford comma.

Meditation. Sometimes life just moves too fast and there are so many things that give us anxiety, stress, etc. which puts a strain on our mind and mentality at times. Even just 15 minutes a day in the morning or before you go to bed would help tremendously. You don't need to be some expert to meditate, anyone can do it and there are so many apps and resources online that help. Imagine meditation as brain food, or even imagine your brain as a muscle that needs to be exercised. From my experience, it's reduced anxiety, stress and I cultivate more positive thoughts versus focusing on the negativity. Hope this helps anyone.

Not repost questions as often

Not sure if this fits here but please make the most of high school and overall just being young and having time. You'll miss it when its gone.

Stop watching porn

Or better yet, watch porn. Masturbation is cheap and helps relieve stress. Just don't let it consume you.

Not sure why you’re getting downvoted for this

[deleted]

No fap =/= no porn.

If you started getting turned on by “deviant” shit, guess what? That’s just your broad and flexible sexuality and it’s nothing to be obsessively worried about.

No porn isn’t about developing weird fetishes (although that is one of their worries), it is also about the objective dangers of porn.

I won't give up the thicc raccoon girls you fucking Hologram

Ok donald

Prepare to be destroyed by facts:

1 - Your opinion gäy

2 - Thicc raccoon tiddy

You need to watch this youtube video (the FULL video) to really understand my points, you cannot criticize my objective opinions if you missed even one second of footage.

EDIT: Another day, another SJW owned... puts on top hat and monocle ...FREAKIN SWEET!!!

But But......

Travel by yourself.

Clean your room.

This. No better way to start straightening out your life.

Start living in the present. We are not tormented by our past or future but we are only tormented by our memories and imagination. If we accept the present moment and start living in it we can effectively have a better quality of living.

Yep! The past no longer exists, and the future hasnt happened. The only time we have is now. This moment is all that truly exists.

Really well said bro.

Be nice

Shower each day, change clothes on the regular (like each day for t-shirts and underwear, every second day for pants and sweaters), brush your teeth at least once a day. You'd be surprised what good hygiene could do to both your self-esteem and your psychological well being.

Be nice to people.

​

It's amazing what doors will be opened by just not being a jerk.

this is so simple, but so true.

do some basic strength work like squats and deadlifts twice a week.

​

this message is a distillation of two degrees and 12 years working as a msk physio

Whenever possible, jump on an opportunity to do something nice for a stranger, but don't tell anyone about it afterwards. Do it just to be nice because you're nice.

Keep your living space clean.

Every morning, make a short list of what you want to achieve today. Doesn’t need to be extravagant, just write them down. Keep the list in your mind as you go through your day.

You won’t achieve them all the first time. But keep doing this.

loving yourself

Use aloe vera. And sunscreen. And travel.

I’m not sure how much this helps, but when having an interaction with someone - a coworker, a cashier, etc. - I’ve recently switched from saying “I appreciate it” to “I appreciate you.” I think it puts me in a more grateful state of mind, plus you never know what that little recognition can mean to someone. Just saying “I appreciate you,” instead of the impersonal “I appreciate it,” can lift someone’s spirits.

Look in the mirror, pat yourself on the shoulder and say ''I'm proud of you''

​

Stop drinking alcohol.

Do your own things. One major thing I think my parents fucked up back then that I'm starting to feel now at 26 was doing everything for me. Raising up a kid so he will take of care himself one day doesn't mean you shouldn't help him, but you shouldn't do the things him that he can do for himself. Teach, sure, help, sure, but god damn it let go the fucking things he screams in your face about the 245th time to let go. When I did not know better and I was lazy, this was part of the reason why I remained lazy. Why do my own chores if it gets done anyway? And when I want to get my own stuff done and either parent is there like "nah I'll do it" you fucking stand up for yourself and deny it. YOU DO IT. I started this way too late, when I was about 22 (moving out is about 26-28 average here because the country is the way it is). And yes there were arguments and I still have these fights today, but it is so worth it. I feel so much more... capable now, less unsure and indecisive, more productive.

Example: your mom wants to buy you a new shirt, because the ones you have are old, out of fashion, can't really look nice in these days anyway, color is washed out etc.

Here is the thing. She knows these. You don't neccessarily notice the color is washed out or whatever. You just get a new shirt out of the blue, and that's it. What you need isn't a new shirt, it's developing a sense of realization that you need a new one, and while you got a shirt, you lost that sense, and that's something way more valuable. Forbid that shit, say no, you won't ever buy clothes for me again unless it's some special event gift or something.

And it will fucking hurt her bad but you must explain why. You must stand on your own legs and it start with little stuff like that. And if either of your parents wants to talk you out of it, you shut that shit down right there, because you don't need anyone to tell you what you can do. You may surprise yourself what you can do, and if you found your limit in something, well, you are richer with the experience instead of never knowing what could have been. And now you live a much fuller life.

Realizing this and seeing that the best intentions of help were doing the damage and holing me back, it was one of the major steps in curing my own decade long depression (which was largely fueled by the feeling of uselessness and helplessness which is why I skipped pretty much everything you should live through your teen years to be able to say you really LIVED), without outside help. I mean, of course bullies in highschool didn't help but the point is if I had the kind of confidence in myself I have now, back then, I wouldn't have been bullied in the first place.

Look at me and what I am doing now, spending 10 minutes of my life writing this up and editing it to get my throughts through precisely. Why you ask? Because if it helps ONE person I did something productive today out of my own will, not duty.

Make your bed first thing in the morning it's a smal but easily achieveable goal and honestly it makes my start to the day better

Drink enough water

eat oatmeal

Drink more water.

Drink more tea.

Stop smoking weed. ~coming from a daily user

Don’t smoke weed everyday. Take it from somebody who has for years until recently. I’m not saying don’t smoke weed, just don’t do it so often that you’re high 24/7. You will enjoy it much more when you do decide to smoke and you will be much more productive.

Good for a damn walk, do some stretches, just get mobile!

Watch less porn tbh.

And floss your mf teeth that feeling is unparalleled

Always assume the best in people. Someone said something that you think is trollish or attacking you? Stop and assume they are coming from a good place and that statement isn’t how you are taking it.

Obviously if they come out and say something awful with no two ways about it that is different. Really helps me. Someone will be joking and say something to me that could be a passive aggressive jab and I always clarify asking what is wrong. A lot of times they won’t even realise and it is harmless. A handful of times they realised they were still holding something and you can talk.

Don’t assume everything is done with mean intentions. Helps you rethink comments and makes reddit easier too since text has no tone.

Absolutely do not care what people think of you having fun. Are you a 30 y/o who wants to do cannon balls and hand stands at the pool, do it. Want to dance like a crazy person to your favorite song, do it. Want to wear geeky outfits or wild make up, do it. Do not let the fear of judgement keep you from enjoying the best things in life. The silliness and weirdness makes everything worth it.

Eat more oatmeal.

DRINK SOME GODDAMN WATER. I swear whenever I have any health problem or headache/stress related issue I drink some ice cold goodness and instantly feel better. We as humans understand the power of H2O.

Sever ties with all of the negative people in your life. You will soon discover that their horseshit outlooks on life drag you down more than you could ever realize.

Have a notepad where you list all the tasks you need to get done. Do this in the morning for tasks of that day. Make sure to keep the sentences short, simple and clear. And do not put too many tasks start small. I find this very helpful especially when you are a procrastinator. It gets you back on track when you deviate.

remove the flow restrictor from inside their showerheads

Organize and clean up shit even if you don’t feel like it...future you will thank you. I don’t know how many years I went with just putting bills and documents wherever I could through-out the house. Finally organized everything and now my life doesn’t seem so much in shambles.

Clean your room.

Be friendlier

Understand that you don’t have to please everyone. Just be genuine and honest

Drink one more glass of water a day. Once it is something you do not think about, add another. Its how I cut a soda addiction and felt generally lighter on my feet.

Stop drinking soda, and start drinking water.

Leave Religion

I always say this but, make your bed in the morning. Your day may be no good but at least you can go to bed comfortably in the hopes of waking up and starting the new one right.

Drink water. Just trust me on this.

Exercise. This doesn't necessarily mean stocking up on protein powder and getting a $200/mo gym membership. Simple squats, take a walk for 30 minutes, etc.

Drinking water

If you don’t already get daily exercise, go for at least a 30 minute walk a day. If you feel you can’t get that in at once, go for 15 minutes. There’s a really good video on this called 23 and 1/2 hours on YouTube

Honestly, my life has improved 400% since I started regularly exercising. I kid you not.

I know it sucks at first, but it doesn’t take long for it to become a part of your routine and when it does you may actually miss it on days when you don’t do it.

I went from being a lazy fat teenager to a gym addict once I started exercising. I couldn’t believe how crappy I had felt 24/7 till I started feeling better from exercising. I know what you mean!

I've started playing just dance each day and it's helped a lot.

Think before you speak. For Gods sake people THINK IN GENERAL.

Plan your outfit for tomorrow out before you go to bed each night. Usually Saves 20+ minutes in my morning routine, and you aren't looking for that stray sock/shoe.

Also, take the stairs when possible.

Exercise regularly.

Ask one of the most asked question in here.

It's good for your karma.

So therefore, good for you.

I read only 10 pages every day before going to bed, and now I have finished 6 books since I started this habit، This habit really changed my life

Stop caring about what other people think about you.

Floss everyday. You’ll prolong your teeth’s health by a great margin in the longevity of time.

Honestly, taking the time to tidy up each day is a simple way to better your life. You will be surprised how fulfilling it is to come home to a made bed. Also, it is a more pleasant experience in your home when the floors are clean and everything is in its place.

Never stop looking for a better job, you may be currently happy but always look. You never know when your dream job will appear.

Clean your room

Sleep Hygiene

  1. Buy some post it notes.
  2. Write everything you need to do.
  3. Stick it somewhere you will see it EVERYDAY.
  4. Profit

Practice your assertiveness - not being a “nice person” can be a good and rewarding experience. I suggest you listen to Not Nice podcast by The Art of Manliness.

Buy dog. They make every day a bit brighter

Drink more water

Exercise. Simply getting up and moving around. Whether you go for a 10 minute walk or you hit the gym for an hour. Get your blood flowing. Too many people are tired and sluggish Bc they just don’t move enough. An object in motion will stay in motion. So move your ass lmao

I’ve recently started a walking program for myself. I walk three miles one day and do some weights. The next day I walk five miles and I don’t do weights. I’m able to actually fall asleep at night and then get a solid 8 hours of sleep.

Always push yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone.

Adopt a animal

Have a self improvement mindset, if you are always willing and looking for ways to improve. Chances are you will.

Delete your social media apps (except WhatsApp because that makes texting free of charge) for a month and you will see a lot of improvement in your life (less anxiety, more social interactions, more time in your hands hence more stuff you can do like read books and practice a new skill). Then decide if you want to have the apps back or not.

Pay attention to what is HERE right NOW instead of re-playing old memories and preparing for future calamities that will never be.

Water. 8 hours sleep. Have a specific day a week to clean and do laundry.

An orderly life doesn’t mean a dull one, it just means making the time to clean yourself up.

Get off social media completely

Brush your teeth.

I bet most people do it wrong. Same with flossing.

Go for a walk at least 3 times a week, doesn't need to be a long walk, just 10 or 15 minutes is ok.

When people talk to you, instead of thinking of the thing to say after their done talking, just listen to them as their talking. Be present.

Drink water daily.

Look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment. Just one a day makes a difference.

delete reddit

Get a dog.

Always think for yourself and always question your beliefs.

Get off reddit you weirdos. That’s one thing.

keep your home tidy and uncluttered.

obviously you do a deep clean when needed, but just putting shit back where it goes is HUGE and takes literally seconds of your day. a dirty house is a cheer-killer.

Simplify answers to "yes" or "no".

Language does a lot to dictate our reality. I was able to cut out a lot of anxiety and disorganization from my life by taking out the wishy washy, non-committal language from my life.

Will I attend? Yes or no Did I understand? Yes or no Can I do this favor? Yes or no

And really, make it a HARD yes or no. Not "yeah", "sure", etc.

Commit to and make good on the "Yes". If you aren't sure if you can, the answer is clearly "no".

You can always adjust a "no" later to a "yes" if conditions change. Adjusting "yes" to "no", barring extreme circumstances, means I am flaking (and all the shitty feelings of being a flake).

I became more dependable, certain of my capacity, and honest when I made my answers yes or no.

There are a lot of binaries being rightfully smashed, but I think we should sharpen the binary of YES or NO.

Drink water. Helps loads

Delete reddit

He said simple.

Running

knowing how to treat others. if you can figure out how to treat others it makes your social life much better

Stop voting for republicans.

Stop voting for politicians

Swear I saw this same question before lol!

I’d say to drink more water! & wash your hair!

Don't consume pornography

What else am I supposed to put in my soup?

I use lingerie magazines.

I find the paper to be too chewy and sometimes it has this weird sauce on it so yeah that won't be an issue

Floss your teeth!

Then masturbate.

One of the easiest and arguably most effective way to better your life is to improve your diet.

Vote Red

Stay off of Reddit.

You can fart on a kitten.

I just woke up, and didn't realize that my cat was sleeping on me and woke up and blasted one.

r/startledcats would have been proud.

But it started my day with a smile.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FART ON A KITTEN

Read his comment lol

Is this a fetish?

Thank you. Subscribed now.

I did not fuck my cat. I did not fart on my cat.

Subscribe to Pewdiepie

Clean their diet, ensure they get 8-9 hours of sleep, practice some form of exercise and meditate 10min a day.

Floss.

Put your phone down and enjoy life around you. Talk to the people you're at dinner with, enjoy the concert instead of trying to record, stop posting to Facebook and keep your eyes on the road...and so on.

Learn to be patient.

Live within your means

I've booked too many concerts and stuff and kept dipping in to my savings to do so. Now I'm basically skint and it's no fun. Sometimes you just gotta say "maybe next year" and save special things like that as a treat

Quit soda. It's so bad for you - it's full of sugar and it messes with your mood, your sleep schedule, and your normal food cravings.

Be kind

Take a look at how you're spending, pick a wasteful spending habit, and eliminate it.

Figure out addictions and try to steer away from them, good sleep is important. Eat good food and drink lots of water. Workout and stretch and then your days will feel longer and have meaning. Maybe even read a book and have lots of intercourse. Easy

Drinking water instead of soda.

Why is this in controversial? Sugary drinks are a big factor in the obesity crisis.

Spend a morning doing a deep clean of your house. I’m not talking your routine weekly clean, I’m talking deodorise the carpets with baking soda and then vacuum, don’t just dust the shelves -dust those skirting boards as well, get rid of your eternal laundry pile so that there are no clothes, get your bathroom and kitchen spotless. It’s a great anxiety/stress reliever and you will literally breathe easier in a clean home (not to mention it feels like there is less to do the next time you clean!)

Unsubscribe from r/funny

Eat healthy

Drink more water.

Get a Good nights sleep.

Care less about what other people think.

Work out

Delete social media.

Therapy. You don't know a lot about the world, especially yourself. If you want to grow as a person, do it.

Quit social media

Read books

Delete Facebook. Anyone who is only willing to socialize with you if you are on Facebook is not worth your time.

Its improved my mental stability and social life a lot since I deleted mine. It’s toxic af.

As I was going down through the comments this song came to mind. Sunscreen -- Baz Luhrman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OojsLDYr7RY

Keep the shit talk reserved for your mother or your s/o, not your friends. Shit talk will always come back around to bite you in the ass, so save it for the people who you know won’t tell anybody. On the same token, compliment people behind their backs. This makes it hard for people to get dirt on you, if so they decide to take advantage of you.

Be kind!!!

Wake up earlier. Seriously. Get out of bed by 9am, go to bed earlier (if you can of course I know 3rd shift and such can make that impossible)

Drink more water.

Shout out to /r/waterniggas

Go for a walk at least once a day

Drink water like 2L a day. Thats what I do and man, it really help. I stop drinking coca-cola, pepsi, etc.

Don’t look at your phone for the first 30min of the day.

[deleted]

Also instagram

Meditation practice.

Realize you are not your thoughts. Mindfulness - you have immense light and power and it’s covered by constant thinking, seeking happiness and running from pain. Relax into what you are, all the happiness and love in the world are already in you.

For example. When you see a beautiful rainbow, or waterfall, etc. That ‘wow’ moment is always available to you (notice, your mind pauses when you see pure beauty in nature, or in someone)

Be kind.

Assume positive intent.

lurking here for advice.

Keep your phone away while studying/working

Exercise, sleep, read.

Take a walk.

Slap cheese on somebody

Can confirm, I enjoy cheese.

Exercise daily. Your mentality shifts from it within days. You feel better, you think clearer.

Be honest. About what you want, about what you think, with your friends, with your partner and most importantly with yourself. I kept myself from being honest my entire life and at 30 years in it is coming back to bite me in the ass in a big way.

Drink water with every meal. It’s easy to drink 600 unnecessary calories during a meal.

A solid morning routine.

Eat healthier. I don’t mean becoming a vegetarian or vegan but just eating cleaner. Less fast food/processed more home cooked. That’s a giant key especially if you’re trying to lose weight. After a few weeks you’ll notice the difference. Double to triple the results by switching from soda and sugary drinks to water and coffee to tea.

Be nice. Just be nice, everything is not about politics, every discussion does not need to become a discussion on what the issue of the day is. I'm really sick and tired of politics invading every conversation that is happening and devolving into a sophomoric bout of name calling and one up man ship. If you can't say something nice...

Masterbate.

Make your bed every morning

Find little opportunities to play. Whatever form play comes in for you - games, sports, trivia, with kids - and dont forget that any activity can be a game if you want it to!

Stop thinking you need that material "thing" to make your life better

Going to the gym, you’ll love it if you keep on it

Listen

Just be kind

Value themselves, the biggest problems I've faced in my life was due to me not valuing myself enough. In most cases, people consider me as a guy who can solve their problems, and that's what I do. this has created plenty of opportunities for me during my life but every "yes" we say means we are saying no to other people.

If I valued myself enough I wouldn't say yes to every opportunity and be able to focus on the ones that mattered.

​

So just value yourselves

You are sitting at your work station, you have to fart, but you are worried that the aroma will spread to your co-workers...

Solution : fart and then quickly bend down to the level of your ass, pretend to itch your leg or tie your shoe maybe, And inhale as much of your fart as you can!!!

As I mentioned yesterday and someone else did in a comment with 6k upvotes, drinking water really fits here. I didn‘t realize how much healthier I lived since I replaced Coke-only with Water-only, and r/waterniggas made me conscious of it. I also think that subreddit is a great motivation to achieve that habit.

Stare directly into the sun and build up your eyeball muscles.

Take a long break from social media so you can realize how little it matters to you and how much better your life will be without it. I've been away from it for years now, and I don't miss a thing. My life is far better for it, I'm happier, healthier, have more free time, and I have things to talk to my friends about in person when I see them. It's really great!

Stop wasting your time by reading the same stupid "ask Reddit" threads every week.

Drink one less sweet or sugary item per day such as soda. Accumulated over a period of time this will begin to male a difference.

Stop drinking sodas!! I've been off sodas for over a year now and I've lost over thirty pounds and don't feel like crap. It will be hard the first week and you might get some bad headaches (I did for the first two days) but it's worth it.

Clean. It's a time to think and meditate, you'll impress your dates/SO and you won't lose your shit as much.

Drink less soda. Switch to juice or water

Make their bed

Meditate daily, even if it’s only for 5-10 minutes. The difference it makes is astounding and there’s tons of books and apps to guide beginners

Spend less time on your phone and social media and more time being present in the real world. :)

Make your bed in the morning.

As soon as you get up if you make it that's one job done and it makes any other jobs seem that little bit easier to start and move on to.

And if you've had a bad day at work you get to come home to a bed ready for you to get in without having to go to the effort of making it.

Realise that it doesn't matter what people say about you... you're better than them. Just ignore them.

Even if you do not like your job, show up with a positive attitude ready to take on the day. Go in each day trying to do a better job than the last one.

Daily stretching and exercise ( could be walking, body weight exercises, weight lifting etc.

Getting enough sleep

Drinking more water

​

Exercise, sleep and read 15-20 minutes a day!

Don’t say something because you feel the need to, say something because it’s worth saying.

Buy a tongue scraper! I didn't even know these existed a month ago, but they seriously increase your quality of life. Every morning I use it and it feels like I just left the dentist with a freshly cleansed mouth.

be real and nice,dont care about others opinion

Eat healthy, exercise, sleep enough, limit screen time, read a book, take care of a pet, plant a garden, tell someone you love them.

Each of these things is simple and nearly free and will greatly enhance your physical and mental well being

Skip the soda

If you're able to , switch up your work / life balance. I had a pretty decent job with amazing hours and I swapped it for a better paying job with slightly more hours on paper. After a couple of weeks the new job started adding more and more responsibilities and calling and emailing when I was at home. After a few months of being miserable but earning really good money I was lucky enough to hear of a position at my old company.

I went back and although I'm earning a fairly large amount less than I was I get to see my son every night, I get to go to the gym or just chill out at home without being harassed. If you're able to take a step back to be a little bit happier then do it.

Stop making excuses. Maybe there is a pattern in your life where you fail and make an excuse everytime. Pick one, then take that excuse and turn it into a reality that you have to plan around. Now, it is not an excuse, but something that has made your approach more effective, because it has been planned against. Sometimes excuses are valid. Sometimes we plan around them to find that they were just excuses. Doesn't matter because you're past it now.

Don't be toxic toward or around your kids. They pick up off of bad behavior. Being toxic toward them will lower their self esteem and make them depressed. Instead of yelling at your child for being stupid, guide them to a place of knowledge.

I'm an addictions counselor, and there's kind of a running trend that I see with most of my clients. These in turn can be triggers for drug use, but I think anyone can benefit from working on these areas.

Boredom, we all need hobbies.

Loneliness, we all need human connection.

I would also add the need to be selfish sometimes and focus on yourself over anyone else.

Drink water instead of soda or alcohol. It's not that hard for soda, i don't know how hard it would be to get off alcohol, though

Before you get out of bed in the morning take a few moments to say thank you for all the things you appreciate.

Example: thank you for a nice warm bed. Thank you for my soft pillow. Thank you for a roof over my head. Thank you for the day that I’m about to have.

This alone will improve your life. But if you want to take it a little further....

Do the exact same thing as you are falling asleep.

Thank you for the day I had. Thank you for a full belly. Thank you for the clothes I am wearing. Etc.

See the positives in everything and learn and build off that

Drink water.

5-10 minute meditation first thing in the morning. Game changer.

If the task takes just a few minutes to do just do it. I always had the bad habit of putting it off until later and then forgetting or always having to remind myself to do it. It was just taking up space in my head and is one less thing to worry about.

Wear sunscreen.

(I may have stolen that lyric)

Honestly everytime (yes everytime) I look in a mirror I think " look that snack" even if I look bad and this stupid thing makes me feel so confident. Also turn off unimportant notifications, please

Forgiveness is a big one. You can forgive people simply in your mind, if you don't want to talk to them again. But free yourself from angry thoughts.

Get rid of toxic people. Start to cook. Buy good headphones.

Smile more. :)

See the good in others.

Wake up early everyday. (For me it's 5AM)

Stop doing coke.

Naw im good

  • cough cough

(Me too)

Acknowledge positive things about yourself. Whether it be your hair, your style of clothing or something you accomplished when you were younger.

It sounds cheesy, but for those of us who focus more on the negative aspects of life, it does help to remind yourself that there are hidden gems in there too and its important to take notice of them.

Get a cat

Cut back on sugary foods. You really don't need any extra sugar. Just look at the ingredients when you grocery shop and pick foods that have little to no extra sugar. Your body will thank you later on.

Edit: check out r/sugarfree

Don’t beat yourself up, learn and grow :)

prioritize getting the required 7+ hours of sleep each night. There are few things that are more important for your health.

It took me years and years to learn that the basics - nutrition, hydration, sleep and exercise - are the gateway to a better life. I no longer skimp on any of these and my life is dramatically better.

Exercise! It doesn’t have to be complicated either. Somthing as simple as a walk can help get you moving, and clear your mind. After exercising you not only feel physically better and refreshed, but mentally as well.

Stop drinking soda, it makes a huge difference in your energy levels.

Show compassion

Make that appointment. Treat yourself every once in awhile. I suffer from manic depression and you really just got to make life sunny sometimes, take care of your mind and body. Smile even when no one is around, make jokes to yourself and laugh at them like a sociopath. Just have fun.

Black out your room at night. It should be dark enough that you can’t see your hand in front of your face.

Blue light inhibits melatonin, which hurts your sleep quality and makes it harder to fall asleep. That’s why night mode on your phone turns your screen amber — it removes blue spectrum light.

Try blacking out your room tonight. Cover up alarm clocks, WiFi routers — all the little light sources. If you don’t have blackout curtains, jerryrig blankets over your windows. Your sleep quality will go way up and you’ll feel much more restored tomorrow morning.

Live by the motto “if it takes less than 5 minutes, just do it now.”

It’s really helped me get out of sitting around and doing nothing the whole day

Get 8 hours of sleep. Seriously.

Read “why we sleep” if you’re not convinced. I’ve become an evangelist.

Drink water, and just water.

Laugh

Make a good hearted effort to understand a perspective you disagree with.

Go to sleep on time.

Learning to say sorry and accepting your mistake. Then working on it so as to not repeat the mistake.

Don't pick fights with people on the internet/real life.

If you're going to correct or argue with somebody, first rank the issue on a scale of 1-10. Only if something is an 8 or higher should you engage.

I have huge issues with this in my life and a friend suggested I start doing this.

It works very well when I remember to do it. I have a terrible memory though.

Just be a kind person. Do kind things even if you get nothing in return.

​

But also, don't put up with people's bullshit.

Be curious about stuff. Try to learn something new everyday! It helps in the long run! You might just come upon an idea that changes your life!

Make your bed every day.

I began this about 3 years ago and it seems subtle, but putting this one kernel of routine into my otherwise adaptable life helped me to be more methodical and deliberate in other areas.

Added bonus is when you go to bed in a freshly made bed, you get to Tuck yourself in and feel accomplished.

Learn to be able to disagree with someone and argue your point without getting angry or annoyed that they don't share your belief or opinion. Arguments don't have to be an emotional thing, but the two are so interwoven by people. On the topic of emotions: control them. For example if someone cuts you off in traffic or your food service is slow, some are quick to anger. However, if they had just been told that they are cancer free, or had just won the mega millions moments before, they probably wouldnt care at all about traffic or whatever just happened. This can be applied to many things that people get angry about every day. This should show how fickle and small emotion really is, yet some people walk around all day and are completely controlled by their emotions and believe it to be justified because it's how they are feeling.

Exercise... This sounds like some basic shit. After two years of basically no physical activity, I've started jogging just twice a week. It's been about a month and a have and it has already improved my mood, body image, sleep cycle and I no longer lose my breath just from climbing the stairs.

Not procrastinate with homework

Get out of bed and start the day.

If something makes you angry often, just get rid of it and never look back.

Doesn't matter if it's an app, game, certain exercise, job. Being unhappy will only make you go deeper into dark thoughts and then you'd need to spend significant money for the therapist to get you out of that state.

Also don't compare yourself to the others. You are not living their life and surely you don't know their problems.

Hitler followed your first advice.

Lmao. Not exactly. He made other people do what he felt was wrong in the society. The advice does not refer to people as well.

Potato potato.

Drink water, walk more, learn something new by spending 15 minutes reading something. Eat smaller portions of the same meal.

Make your bed

I'm a bit late to the party, but this is my all time greatest simple change that can make a tremendous improvement to your life. CONTROL YOUR CAFFEINE INTAKE! For anyone with anxiety, insomnia, depression, etc. the amount and timing of your caffeine intake can have a huge impact on your situation. For those wanting to hack into their focus, motivation and alertness, this can give you a big advantage. Figure your what you can handle and when, and get into a steady rythym. Maybe consider keeping a generally low daily intake. I get about 60mg per day through green and black tea.

Don't make casual suicide jokes. It's not worth the laugh. It can normalise it or make those thoughts more prevalent

Ask your boss/supervisor if there's anything else you can do when you finish a task at work. If they don't really have anything for you, they'll still remember that you asked. If they do have something for you, you'll get way more credit for doing it now than you would if they had to come find you to assign it to you. It's a simple tip that will get you a reputation as a "hard worker". That's how promotions are made. People want to see you doing more than what is asked of you in the role you're in before they are willing to promote you to a higher paying role that will ask more of you.

These changed my life:

Follow minimalism. Disconnect from social media. Meditate. Eat healthy, excercise often and sleep well.

stop caring about what others say!

Bite your tongue, said my grandma. Hold that negative thought in. Don’t speak it or type it on the internet.

The one little thing that made a huge difference thought is turning off all notifications except txts.

Excercise and sweat on a regular basis. Increased blood flow always helps my mood and helps me think, so I assume it works for others as well.

Sufficient sleep, 6-8 hours for most people

nutrient-dense diet, consisting of at least 80% fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains and starches (these two may differ for you)

moderate to intense physical activity 1 hour, 3 times a week,

Hobbies and a mission

I recently cut caffeine and and can say that I perform much better without it.

Don’t cancel plans on people or be wishy-washy. People will do the same to you.

Get off of reddit right now and do what you're supposed to be doing.

Take responsibility for yourself.

Don't get defensive. Don't make excuses. When you make a mistake, own up to it and work to make it better. Learn from it so you don't do it again.

You will get further in life. People respect integrity. And they do not respect the eternal excuses, 'somebody else's fault' people.

Anectdoteal: I have been promoted on a mistake. Not because I made the mistake, but because as soon as I could see it was my error, I owned up to it. I thought it would be a firing scenario, really. It was a dumb mistake that I should have caught before it happened. But taking responsibility and identifying the problem saved everyone a lot of forensic work. After the smoke cleared, the CIO pulled me aside and made me the head of my department because he needed someone he could trust to he honest in that position.

Sleep... Wake up early, go to bed early, 8hrs of good old sleep

Clean your house a little bit everyday, so you don't have to do it all at once every week.

I feel much more comfortable in a clean house anyway. Dirt and clutter is really distracting.

get rid of everything. the more you lose, the lighter you become.

r/stopsmoking . Seriously,after a 30'year nicotine habit the book Easyway by Allen Carr and that sub helped make one of the biggest improvements in my life to date. It may seem like a small thing to non-smokers or those who smoke 'moderately' and believe it has no significant detrimental effect on their everyday life with the exception of a possible future disease. However, the knock-on effects of curing yourself of nicotine addiction can't be overstated-my respiration, skin, teeth, temper, taste, smell, vision & mood have increased so dramatically it's hard to fathom sometimes.

Some things that helped me are, Get good sleep

Keep your promises

Be on time to stuff or try your best

Look decent and have good manners/have a good heart

HAVE PATIENCE!!!

Have a hobby

Exercise

Have a good group of friends who want only the best for you Keep good relationships

Optimism

Be a good listener

Avoid temptation. Most people think people with great self control are super-human, the truth is they are just pros at avoiding situations/places/people that present the temptation (e.g. the sweets isle or texting their dirty bitch of an ex gf.)

Stop taking jokes so seriously.

Stay out or get out of debt.

Be honest with themselves and the people around them

Git gud

Understand you cant control other people, but you can control your reactions to them. You can't control how people react to your choices.

In short: do you.

These might sound dumb but they work

  • When your alarm goes off immediately get out of bed. Like JUMP out of bed. You will wake up faster.

  • Also, have a glass of water next to your bed and chug it right away. You've been asleep for hours, you need water.

  • Make your bed right away also...

  • Designate a spot for your shoes, once you get in your house/apt/etc. and take off your shoes put them where they go and don't leave them on the floor.

I have depression...this shit literally makes my day easier.

Remove toxic people from it.

eat more fruit and veggies.

Drink water, stay hydrated my friends!

Learn.

​

Learn as much as you can. It doesn't have to be about school.

If you like space learn about space ,its vastness etc.

If you like rap music learn how rap works try it out.

If you exited about how our brain works,then F*cking learn about it.

Don't play fortnite ,pubg all day.I don't say not to play ,play for just 1 hr.

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Fill your house with plants, they're relaxing to have around and don't require much care. I like to think of mine as really slow pets.

sit up straight. have posture

Spare yourself all the lies, even the small ones. The truth is often so much simpler.

Drink water on the regular.

Stay hydrated.

Walk 15 minutes a day. Go no-tech for 1hr a day Learn a new recipe and cook it

I like to take a few minutes in the morning to just look out my window and enjoy the sun. After, I go to the bathroom, take in a few deep breaths, look in the mirror and give myself a smile. Then I move on with my day happily.

Get sober. Or at the very least, don't make alcohol a hobby.

Getting up early. I thought it was overrated. But started getting up early to hit the gym. Started enjoying breakfast again. And that allowed me to have more relaxing evenings after I’m done with work. Now I even wake up earlier on weekends with no alarms and find I have more time to do things even if it’s just chilling.

Stay off google and web md for medical advice before a diagnosis!

Morning poops. Literally rid yourself of a shitty day.

Donate or volunteer.

What is a life worth living if you never contribute

Never respond emotionally. Count to ten, or fifty, or a million - however long you need. Stop making emotional decisions.

Don't let yourself spiral into a negative thought loop?

Practice gratitude.

Drink less. Alcohol is expensive, a depressant, and has a lot of calories. You will feel happier and healthier if you cut your consumption in half or more, and the effects are quick and accumulate in many areas.

Dont believe everything your mind tells you. Thoughts are not you. Sometimes your inner narrator is a dick and needs to be ignored.

Drink more water

Live debt free.

Become a 'morning' person

Don't lie and speak the truth always!🤩

Buying a duvet. They are so comfortable and you only have to wash the cover when it gets dirty.

Be grateful. Day to day, for the smallest thing in your life. We're always striving for better, so we forget to be grateful for what we've got right now. That can be anything from a good relationship to having a roof over your head. From a really good coffee to having an education. It's really changed my mindset and has made me much more present. Added a lot of positivity to my life.

Regular exercise and read books.

Use turn signal

Do something nice for someone else

When you wake up in the morning, make your bed! You're starting your day off on a positive note!

Not look for 'simple' things to better their life and just tackle to big ones you are aware of.

Get out of toxic relationships.

Stop OVER eating sugar

Think positive about every little thing.

Pay your bills on time

Cutting out shitty vestigial people from their lives.

Social media makes it WAY too easy to accidentally accumulate social trash that has no purpose other than inflating your number of "friends" even though you will never speak again in all honesty.

Just stop stringing people along to stroke your ego and focus on the people around you that actually matter.

Drink plenty of water

Spend a few minutes a day cleaning up after yourself or tidying up your place. It does wonders for your mental health.

Being there!

Drink more water than you think you need.

One day I was really depressed, and randomly drank a bunch of water, and my bad feeling disappeared.

That moment changed my life. I was confusing a physical problem with a mental one. The body doesn't know how to ask for what it wants.

Smile, it makes you feel happier

Drink water

Drink a glass of water! Starting the day hydrated makes one feel lubricated.

If you're having an anxiety attack, are sad, angry, dont fight it. Let yourself feel it, ask what is this feeling? How am I dealing with it? Ok. Cool. Then it's over and you feel better again

Make your bed every morning.

Quit drinking.

Drink water instead of soda and don't put sugar in your coffee. You'd bee shocked how much better you'll feel in a month.

Go to the gym for no less than 20 minutes every day.

Get yourself some therapy, even if it's just one session a month. This is even better advice if you feel fine and everything is going well--that's the perfect time to focus on skills so you can be more prepared and aware when trying times come your way.

A lot of the responses here amount to skills and insights you can get from therapy (i.e. meditation, recognizing your own negative biases, confronting thoughts and behaviors that you would like to modify, gaining insights into thoughts and emotions, etc.). These can be hard skills to pick up on your own, but a therapist can facilitate and guide you.

I'm 38 and didn't visit a therapist until my life starting coming apart at the seams last year. My first thought after my first session: why didn't I do this years ago?

Stop eating animals

Stop drinking any other drink except water, and maybe black coffee or plain tea. Your waistline will thank you... as well as your wallet since beverages can be expensive when eating out.

Drink some water for fucks sake.

^I have to tell myself this every time I catch myself being a cranky bitch. Headache? Water. Depressed? Water. Hungry? Water. Tina's chewing gum with her fucking mouth open and you want to put a soldering iron through her eye? Two water.

Stop smoking

Drink enough water. You'd be surprised how much better you'll feel.

Going vegan, to get better health while saving animals and reducing carbon impact to the environment.

Try a 90-Day No Fap on hard mode. Then keep it up (but not IT up) if you recognize results. What do you have to lose?

Drink a large glass of water in the morning and stretch

Don't eat because you're bored.

Drink water.

Cut excessive added sugar out of your diet! I’ve been doing this for the past few weeks and I definitely haven’t been perfect with it but I feel a lot better!

TL;DR: If you're trying to break a bad habit, be preoccupied with the things that make a good life worth living. Don't let the habit be front and center in your mind.

If you're ruminating about the cravings or looking at it as self deprivation, your resistance will inevitably crumble - especially during the withdrawal/separation phase. After that, a strong trigger breaks your will. If you save your willpower for the triggers you will beat them. It's not really quitting, or breaking a habit - it's being something else, and the old habit has nothing to do with you.

People who appear to have self control are actually just being tempted less frequently. They've discovered a rewarding lifestyle that calls to them. Willpower in itself is not a muscle - exerting it doesn't build it up. It's more like a fuel tank. If you're dwelling on what you're missing it will draw you back in, kicking and screaming.

Currently using this mentality for smoking cessation and some other bad habits. After reflecting on my cycles of quitting and relapsing, the time before any of this was part of my life, and the people I respect and admire that followed a different path, I came to this conclusion. I'm letting the prospect of breathing properly draw me in - just having my energy, strength, and health back. I'm not quitting cigarettes, I'm embracing something that has nothing to do with them.

Start cleaning your room. I can't understate the effect that has had on me.

*drink less alcohol - drink more water

*floss at least once per day

*go for a walk every day. you'll experience things you'd never experience indoors. turn your walks into adventures. i've never regretted a walk.

Drink a large glass of water at every meal. Stay hydrated fam.

Why is this the top post every other week

Wake up earlier than you do.

Exercise! It’s not all that bad especially while stoned.

Drink more water!

Brush your fucking teeth

I work in retail and the amount of smelly ass mouth breatherd with rotten turd teeth I see a day is way above my fucking paygrade. BRUSH YOU FUCKERS!!!

Recycle, repair, reuse

Put your phone away during a meal and try to have a conversation with the person you're eating with.

Stop procrastinating. If it's going to take you less than 5 minutes to do something, do it now. Has really changed my life

Stop procastinating

Eat better and drink more water. You'd be amazed how much better you'll feel. Cascade effect.

Don’t have kids

Practice forgiveness.

  1. Finish High school
  2. get a full time job
  3. don’t have children outside of marriage

The best way to not be in poverty in the western world according to the Brookings Institution. stay out of poverty

Stop doing Drugs ! Quit drinking Alcohol and smoking Cigaretts/Weed a month ago feel better than ever

Get off Reddit, delete Facebook, stop drinking, stop smoking, do something for another person out of kindness, eliminate sugars as much as possible, floss....

Wear sunscreen.

Sufficient amounts of orgasms

Delete reddit

Workout hard to whatever ability you can. Push yourself into an uncomfortable place and keep pushing the uncomfortable further and further away.

Drink more water.

Save money.

Quit social media

Travel as often as possible.

I have been in a fortunate position in my life where I have been able to travel to many countries. I always find I come home feeling more grateful than ever for what I do have in my life and it makes me more aware of the plights of others. (And as a teacher, I can then impart this information onto students, to encourage them to feel appreciative of the things they have).

Stop what you’re doing and Read a book

Stop drinking alcohol. Completely. It’s literally poison, and most situations in life are not actually improved by being drunk. Clarity of thought and emotional resilience are underrated.

Read.

Make yourself one promise every time you wake up and make it a habit of fulfilling it, no matter how simple it is. My parents taught me this, and though I'm not perfect, it's really helping me not skip class as often at univ, as sad as that sounds.

Make your bed.

Well, you can stop reposting the same question over and over again

Learn a few recipes and cook yourself some good food. Life is so much better when you eat well.

Follow the old adage;

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

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You'll find people will like you better, you'll stop focusing on the negative and will enjoy life better - once you learn to let go of things you can't control or aren't crucial to your life and the lives of the ones you love.

Adopt a doggy

This will probably get buried, but I try to keep in mind when I’m going somewhere or doing something with others that my appearance and actions aren’t about my ego. Making myself presentable for the occasion and being 5 minutes early is about respect for the other person(s) and showing that you care about them. Framing it this way in my mind makes it much easier for me to find that motivation.

Mind thier own business

Accept death.

Worrying about dying is a waste of time and hampers your ability to enjoy life.

Be considerate of others, it’s not that difficult. Also, have empathy, put yourself in someone else’s shoes 👟 and try to see things from another persons perspective.

Get off of Reddit.

Don’t forget to bring a towel

Meditate daily.

Make your bed in the morning.

Decide to be pleasant to other people. Whatever you are doing, the time is going to pass anyway, so why not be pleasant instead of miserable to other people? Not surprisingly, other people are more likely to respond by being pleasant back. It can turn a whole day around, which over time becomes a better life.

Have coffee ;)

Exercise.

If it was simple, everybody would be doing it. Alas...

Stay Positive!! Negative thoughts and a Negative Attitude will affect every aspect, goal, and sinerio in your life.

Stop reacting to problems/criticism with emotion. Really think about if/how you can fix it before you get angry. Maybe they're right, maybe you really are talking a lot more than you need to.

Workout - makes you feel better physically and emotionally.

Clean your room, seriously, go clean your room.

Have a positive attitude

Do some silly, spontanious fun stuff from time to time to make your "inner child" happy.

Dont bring work home. I leave my work bag in my car so I cant

Pay it forward. Think about others after you have thought about yourself.

Start your day by making your bed, it keeps you up, gets the first task of the day done, and gets you in a mood to smash all your goals for the day

Clean your room. It seems stupid but once it's spotless you feel so much better

Eat well and go outside

Find the things in life worth appreciating. I like to walk outside and just feel the air fill my lungs. It’s a good grounder and it helps me realize that, sure there might be shit in the world, but there’s also a lot of good.

be honest.

Make your bed in the morning!

Keep a journal!

cut out refined sugar (and products containing refined sugar) out of their diet completely

Sleep more.

Drink more water, if you think you've drank enough drink more.

As others have said. Exercise, I work on the 3rd floor of a 3 story building. Every hour I commit to going down to the 1st floor and back up. It takes no time and gives me something to achieve every hour. Every little bit helps.

If you are a teenager - USE contraception!!!!!!

Once you get your first real job, contribute to your 401k or open an IRA immediately!!!!

Don’t neglect your teeth!

Go to the gym

Cut yourself some slack.

We are usually too hard on ourselves, from our perception of our looks, to our perception of our aptitudes. Give yourself a break, take a deep breath and remember that you are trying your best, and that's what matters. Also, laugh more :)

I was really concerned at first because at a glance I only saw “Cut yourself”

This applied to laugh more already! 😁

Drink water

Go to bed earlier, drink more water

Smoke a bowl, then another.

Smoke weed

Drink water.

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Can I updoot this a few thousand more times.

Drink more water.

smile. even if you’re in a bad mood the act of smiling releases happy hormones!

talk less (this applies to me)

Cleaning up your living space! Just simply having a clean room or house instantly makes you feel better and feels spacious.

Superhero pose 5 minutes twice a day.

Thanks Amelia !

A Greys Anatomy fan. Watched that episode last night

Stop using plastic straws

Eat less sugar. It's amazing how much better I feel without it.

Read, educate, volunteer, excercise, gardening,

Take a walk outside

Stop drinking.

Realize that hating serves no one. Live and let live.

Cut out toxic family and friends We are raised to think since someone is family we should always forgive them and love them no matter what. Screw that. Aunt Debbie is an alcoholic who only calls when she's drunk and needs a place to stay? Cut her out. Uncle Herb calls you Satan and is verbally abusive to other family members? Bye! Your friend from grade school is dating a meth head? Tell them both bye. You do what's best for you, screw anyone who brings drama and stress into your life.

I feel like this question get asked every week...

Getting more sleep is something someone can do to better their life.

Not sure if this counts as simple but have multiple 2 checking accounts and 2 savings accounts. 1 checking is strictly for bills 1 savings is an emergency savings the other savings is for bigger purchases and the last checking is anything left over for you to spend how ever you want. Do this and it keeps your money separated appropriately and you never have to worry about spending to much on a night out and it dips into your rent money because your rent money isn’t in the same pool as your club money

Stop before speaking. Avoid saying something negative.

Quit smoking

Stop pretending $2 at a time doesn’t add up to exorbitant expenses over the course of a year or two.

find a good psychotherapist and visit them often

Get the fuck of reddit!

Yoga

Not looking on reddit for life advice. Seriously, stop wasting your time asking us, there's no point in our advice if you aren't going to act on it. Imma be harsh for a sec , toughen up little bitch, we ,in the end can't help you, only you can all this stuff about don't be scared take risks etc, ask yourself are you reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaalllllllllly going to do any of this or do you just want to make your self feel better, lemme say it again, reddit isn't going to help you and we cannot help you.

Meditate

Drink more water. Makes your brain way more alert.

Write about your day for 5 minutes before going to bed. Really helps me reflect and act upon my mistakes rather than forgetting them

Drink more water

Mushrooms

Stop blaming others and take responsibility.

Listen and pause to think, many people would do well to do this

Drink more water

Beat it

Meditation

Add exercise. Whatever you are doing now, add more. Walk. Walk your dog. Walk another persons dog for money if you don’t have a dog. Care.com after that add some weight training maybe 5x5 keep it simple.

Add oats and granola and fruits and yogurts. Stop eating so much pizza. Take one step towards good nutrition each month until it becomes habit and then add another step. Do not make a million big steps at once you will fail and go eat a large cheeseburger.

Do not let your job be your only source of income. Find one or two other ways to make some money. It’s a peace of mind thing you won’t worry about losing your job so much.

Learn to be open minded and take criticism without getting upset.

Don’t be in sleep debt your whole life go to sleep stop playing so many video games.

That’s all I got, worked for me. I feel a lot better than I used to.

Eat a higher proportion of vegetables.

Help save bees

Practice self awareness.

drink water

Eat less meat

Or eat no meat!

So true. I feel healthy, and I feel much better about the impact I am having on animals and the environment as a result of making this choice. Over a decade in now and I couldn't be more glad I did it!

Kill animals so theres no meat to eat!

Delete all social media

Drink 1-2 glass of water daily in the morning after waking up

Dont take yourself so seriously

Drink more water

Just sexualize all your problems. Works for me.

Don't compare yourself to people further along than you. Just aim for your goals instead and break down your main goal into smaller milestones to reach.

Drink water. You have no idea how much good a glass of water does for the body.

Spend a few minutes to streamlinr your digital life. Unsub from those spam emails. Seek out reddits that make you happier and smarter instead of more outraged, sub and unsubs appropriately . Take Facebook off your phone , etc

Make a budget.

Be nice to people. You'd be amazed how good you feel after a simple good deed. Like for instance offering to carry in an elderly persons groceries. May not even get a thank you, but you've done something positive in a world full of negative.

Cleaning my place for ten minutes after I get home from work everday. Set a timer; clean for ten minutes. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.

It's awesome because I absolutely hate cleaning, but there isn't much to clean because I do a little bit everyday. I just pick up where I left off the next day.

That's a really great idea!

Walking. I'm on maternity leave and if we don't have somewhere to go I make sure I and the baby take a big long walk - a couple of houra - during the day. He gets a good nap (he won't nap in the house) and I get some fresh air, exercise and don't feel so trapped. I've grown to love my walks.

Stop eating sugar

Drink water

Realize the climate is fucked and if you don't do anything about it, so will you be.

Get a good nights sleep

I just wanna snuggle you

Drink more water, if your pee isn’t clear drink more

Read stuff you like. Just read!

Make your bed before you leave in the morning

stop drinking and doing drugs

Cut down on sugar

Make your bed. First. Thing. In. The. Morning.

Chug 1-2 glasses of water shortly after getting out of bed each morning. You feel better almost instantly.

Floss their teeth.

Stop watching pornography…

Be nice to people? Don't give waiters/waitresses a hard time, be nice to the people trying to help you out and in turn you will be met with the same kindness.

Showering everyday

Use your smartphone to stay organized. I was suprised how many people doesn't even use calendar on their phones. I started using calendar, notes and to-do list. I have to say it really helped me and I'm only teen student so I don't have that busy life I guess. I wish my mum started to use a digital calendar, because I see that she can't remember all the dates but she still uses only a small paper calendar at home.

I love technologies and the whole point is - take an advantage of something you have in your pocket almost anytime.

Stop drinking alcohol

Go to sleep at the same time each night and strive to get more than 7 hours. I can not stress how important this is as it determines how much energy you have the following day. I was miserable in high school because I always got 4 hours of sleep and I never understood why I always had no energy. Now I’m in university and I’m working a part-time job and I still have enough energy to hang out with friends after school + a shift. Get your sleep guys! You’ll be surprised how great you’ll feel after just a week of consistent sleep.

Pee your pants every once and a while, to remind yourself who’s boss.

Someone get this man gold

Use Deodorant.

Drink more water

Stop using 666 in your userid

Light a stove in an airtight room and wait.

Cancel your negative self talk. Start by noting every time you say something negative about yourself, even in jest. Then every time you are aware of it, pause, tell yourself that isn't true, and replace it by a statement of how you are feeling, and what you might need to feel wonderful.

Shoot your shot, no matter what. If you’re interested in something but nervous about not getting it (such as a job or internship or spot on a team) you’re better off just going for it. Once you realize that the worst thing that can happen is that you don’t achieve your goal or get the position you wanted, you realize that you’re exactly where you started. No harm, no fowl. You can only gain more experience!

  1. Read
  2. Exercise
  3. Meditate
  4. Focus on the positivity in your moments instead of the negativity.

Quit drinking.

Smile.

It's so easy. It's so simple. Yet we don't do it. Smile at the barista when they give you your coffee. Smile at someone when you hold the door open. Smile while you make dinner.

Just the act of smiling will make you feel happier. And it's amazing how well people respond to it.

Learn to say “no”. It took a while, but I learned that much of my stress was due to continually taking on new tasks at work. It’s ok to say no sometimes!

Live simply, ditch material lifestyle, stay away from unnecessary debt, you will be much happier.

Just be a nice person. Let someone with fewer items than you go before you in the checkout line, open the door for someone, make someone smile. I always try to tell people when they look nice or when they're doing a good job. You never know when someone needs that random compliment and it makes you feel good knowing that you made someone else feel good. Just being friendly makes your life better because there is a lot less drama.

"Be excellent to each other."

It may be a quote from Bill and Ted but it's some true ass shit to live by.

Be understanding. If people could take a moment and think about how other people feel/consider another person’s perspective... It would not only better your life, but the world too.

Be organized. I find that the more cluttered my space, the more cluttered my mind.

Brush your teeth.

Realize that it’s OKAY to cry and it can improve your mood sometimes.

Sleep. It doesn't matter if you need 3hrs or 10hrs, everybody needs sleep. You could be the most badass dude on Earth but you still need sleep. There's no shame in it. Despite what movies and shitty co-workers tell you, you need sleep.

My partner is big on yoga and has been trying to get me into it for our entire 2.5 year relationship. I've been doing 15 minutes pretty much daily for a few weeks and its improved my back pain and my general well-being.

Don’t look at your phone that often

Switch out some Netflix time for reading a good novel,

Meditate. Seriously. Even 5 minutes a day.

Journaling, meditation, reading self help books, running, use a weekly schedule like back in college, picking up a hobby you work at to get better.

Honestly stop saying self deprecating jokes/statements. The more you repeat these things, the more real it feels and it will be harder for you to break that habit. Stop making depressing jokes about yourself. Maybe not entirely since it can just be a joke and can be funny, but if you are doing it constantly then you really are drilling it in your head. Swapping out “I’m gonna kms” for “I’m gonna scream” (or whatever) when something you don’t like happens can help break that habit. Essentially learn to stop being a dick to yourself. Even breaking the smallest of habits will help in the long run. It has for me.

Take 10-15 minutes to clean your room/house everyday. Nothing big, just pick up some stuff and do the dishes

Exercise

There are a couple simple things i do to try and improve my life. Meditating, even if it's only a couple minutes a day. I try to write at least a paragraph or two in my journal daily. Those two things help me tremendously

Go to the gym and have an ideal state at where you want to feel and be and drive for it

Quit all refined sugar

Put away the electronic devices when spending time with family and friends. You will regret not paying more attention to them once they're gone.

Introspection.....Getting to know yourself better can help you feel more anchored

Take a walk every day.

Take a couple minutes in your day to do a breathing exercise. It can recalibrate you when you’re feeling super stressed!

Get you a bottle of face mask for your skin. I got a bottle for like a dollar at family dollar and I swear whenever I need to relax I just do that for like 15 minutes and I feel great. This works for all genders btw skin care should be universal.

Invest in backpack gum

Cash only as much as possible, and wear sunscreen

Read a subs post history since this gets asked like once a week

Take a walk in the morning. It doesn't even have to be long. Just 10 or 20 minutes. you'll feel way better the rest of the day.

Figure out what they want and what they need. When I interned at the bogus check dept there were so many people write hot check for stuff they don’t need ( wigs, cigarettes, $200 haircut , car stereo system & etc)

Read and talk to your kids a lot. Answer all questions they have or help them find the answers. Save on tutors and college tuition later when they qualify for scholarships.

always have a clean room and a made bed, this will change so much in you

Take time for yourself, to be alone and disconnect from the outside world, and to do something nice just for you.

ex: Cook yourself a nice meal, get into a warm bath, take care of your skin, read a book or just enjoy being bored.

Self-care is so important, really! Do yourself some good, you'll never regret it

MAKE. THEIR. BED.

Ex 👏 er 👏 cise 👏

See and be grateful for the little things. Oh, and compliment people, but only if you mean it. Both these things will make you more open and observational, make you feel good and the latter will make other people's days better too. So win-win!

Cut out caffeine from your life gradually. The health benefits can't be overstated and will make it so you're not dependent on it to function normally.

Stop drinking energy drinks. You have no idea how much better you'll feel if you stop putting all that garbage in your body

Drink more water!

Be polite!

Delete social media. More time, less comparing.

Help someone everyday

Consume more fiber, duh.

tell your friends you love em, or check in with them. its always nice to hear a “hey, we havent talked in a while, lets catch up on how we’re doing’”. you never know what will happen to the ones you love, so trust me, always keep in touch. :)

Switch to a plant based diet.

One spray maximum of cologne or perfume. Not the entire bottle please

Self love is so important . We tend to get so distracted by everything around us with work , school , daily chores etc that we forget the most import part of making our life’s simpler is working on ourselves . Spend sometime with yourself , treat yourself. Tackle your day as it goes , breathe . You got this !

Drink more water. Hell, drink ONLY water.

A good deed every day if possible.

Reading

Keep up Vitamin D levels. A lot of low energy or depression issues seem to recede (for me) when I add Vitamin D to my supplements.

Meditate! Eat healthy! Take multivitamins! Go to sleep and wake up around the same time! Just a few things that come to mind.

Use blinkers while driving

Shave your ass bois.

Floss

Houseplants.

Being kind to others can create a very healthy sense of wellbeing. Those who feel good about themselves and their actions tend to be healthier people.

Sit with correct posture. Even if it isn’t all the time, just getting in the habit of sitting for a few minutes with proper posture helps a lot.

Never lie. You’ll never have to remember about what’s true and not true. Bonus: People will always know you’re telling the truth.

learn to knit. it’s fun, improves focus, releases tension, gives you a nice distraction for when you’re feeling anxious, sad or angry, AND you’re making something cool in the process. it’s extremely satisfying to watch your projects coming to life, you’ll never have to buy a scarf or a beanie again and people love getting knitted gifts. it’s also very easy to learn (it might seem a bit complicated at first, but in a couple of days you get the hang of it and it becomes second nature) and doesn’t have to be expensive.

Depending on their age, there are a few things that can be done to drastically reduce the likeliness of living in poverty.

  1. Finish high school
  2. Get a job
  3. Wait until marriage to have kids

(Source:Brookings Institute)

Starts by making your bed each morning.

Cut out toxic people.

honestly just clean your room - it can be time consuming but after you always feel so accomplished and whole

Die

Stretching. Some people have enough time and energy for exercise while others just don’t. I’ve realized that stretching in the morning wakes me up enough to enjoy my morning coffee and gets me ready for my day. Doing it before my bedtime shower helped me sleep better as well. I’ve been doing it consistently for two months now. Start and end of day stretching.

Get outside more and eat good food

Not live in North Korea

Get a houseplant. Brightens up your room and teaches you not to forget about the smaller responsibilities.

Learn your basic rights and the law so you don't screw yourself legally when you're in a shit situation.

For instance, I can't tell you how many people I've seen decline a blood test when they're driving drunk thinking it will help them get away with it. All it does is make it impossible for you to get provisional (bread and butter license) and get you an automatic extra year without your license. You'll still get convicted.

Being able to say no to a police search of your car if they have nothing to support their request to search. And no, being a dirty old hippy or a young thug with a fitted hat isn't enough.

NOT quitting your job after you get hurt at work. So many people end up stuck with the medical bills and don't get any workers comp because they tell their boss "my knee is fucked up" and the boss says "well you can't really do (x job) with a busted knee" and they quit. Totally fucked themselves.

Half the shit your landlord puts in the lease is there to scare you, isn't legally enforceable, and will never hold up in court.

Just simple shit like this. Unfortunately most people find out when it's too late. (also note, majority of laws that govern your day to day life are state specific, which is one of the reasons why there's so much misinformation flying around about what's legal and what isn't)

stop talking bad about people. it makes you more negative, makes others more negative, and it’s hard to be a nice person if you’re mean behind their backs.

also drink more water because most people are constantly at least slightly dehydrated and it affects more than you’re aware of

Breath really long during any dispute or any anger because we breath long whenever we are happy, so this will always make you feel relaxed, comfortable and you'll be in your control.

Go to church

Create a morning routine. (I.e. mine is: brush teeth, drink water, meditate, exercise, "game plan" aka create a schedule for my day based on priorities). I do all this in the first 30 min of every day and it has changed my life. Also, create a nightly routine - mine is simply to read for 20 min before bed.

Taking deep conscious breaths throughout the day and whenever one might be stressed.

Take care of your posture. Work out the muscles that need it and stretch the tight ones.

Find something positive in everything you do.

Give genuine compliments to random people. Even a simple "Love your shirt" can make a difference.

Honestly, when you start giving compliments, it becomes easy to find positives in every situation.

drink more water

Make your bed/clean your room. You actually sleep better when your room is clean and it's accomplishing one simple process that can cascade into better decisions or smaller processes. Another thing is go for a walk. That kind of stuff. Small changes make the biggest impact.

HONESTY! Like seriously it changes everything.

Self improve, pick up a hobby or sport, help people when you can, give positivity to the world and the world will give it back

Get off Reddit

quit reddit

Take vitamin D. One pill in the morning while I make my coffee turns into a full day of feeling happy.

Learn to let go

Write everything down. Get a notebook for paying bills. Get a notebook for to do's. Get one for inspiring thoughts/ideas/instructions/whatever. Keep a calendar of events. Need something? Write it down in the same spot every time. Take a picture with your phone. Bam! Shopping list. This is how I'm getting my life in order.

finish high school, get a full-time job and wait until age 21 to get married and have children

Our research shows that of American adults who followed these three simple rules, only about 2 percent are in poverty and nearly 75 percent have joined the middle class (defined as earning around $55,000 or more per year).

​

According to the Brookings Institute

​

https://www.brookings.edu/opinions/three-simple-rules-poor-teens-should-follow-to-join-the-middle-class/

If it takes less than 2 minutes to do, do it now.

I heard this on a podcast and it helped a lot, as I tend to always tell myself, "It won't take long, I'll just do it later."

Things like putting away the toaster, throwing my laundry in the washing machine or dryer, calling to make an appointment for something, etc. are getting done much more often, which has helped my anxiety because I'm not leaving it all until it piles up.

Get moving. Seriously, just a little bit of exercise like taking a walk can do so much to improve your health - both mental and physical.

Write everyday. Don't try to analyze or sound like a "proper writer". Just commit to paper whatever comes inside your head. Think Dumbledore's pensive. It'll help you clear your thoughts and feel lighter.

Not sure if all of these are considered simple for everyone but anyway:

  1. Make your bed when you wake up. It’s a good start of the day and installs a little bit of discipline, and you’ll come home to a made bed.

  2. Brush your teeth! I was (read am) very bad at doing this but trust me, you really don’t want holes in your teeth, you’ll regret it later in life.

  3. Move a little bit each day. Doesn’t matter if you do 100 push-ups or 5, as long as you do them your body will start feeling better. You could also take a 30min walk outside if you’re feeling like it, you don’t need to run, just take it at your pace and look at the scenery.

  4. Accept help. If you’re depressed please accept the help even though it feels useless. Believe me, I know it’s irritating as fuck with people that care about you coming and trying to help you, but try. I jumped off medication because all of them gave me bad sideffects and I felt much worse off them, I also don’t go to a therapist (not sure if that’s the right name in English) but I really should, if you find one who actually listens to you and tries to help you hold on to that therapist! They do help!

Do 30 push-ups for every time you wank

Haha ,Doubt I'll have the energy after

Start running

Its not mainly about the physical consequences e.g. stamina which are not bad either. Its more about the mental side. It reliefs you from stress, helps to sort out things in your head and gives you time with your own thoughts.

Delete Facebook.

Try their best to think optimistically instead of being pessimistic about things. Really can change who you are

Walk across town and back. Or across the village and back. Or to the other end of the small island you live on and back.

Keep your head up when you walk. Keep it up. And say "good [appropriate time]" to whomever you come across, even if they can't hear you because they've got earphones in. Also, don't wear earphones - listen to the ambiance.

You don't even have to like it at first. You'll get used to it and you'll feel the benefits. If you don't normally see many people apart from colleagues and a limited group of friends or family, this'll do you no end of good.

Always have something to look forward to. Without it, everything feels useless.

Let the past be the past, if you keep bringing it up it will just keep you down! I saw a quote also somewhere where it said "whatever you're worrying about now won't mean shit in a year" that usually applies to most things.. If not.. Just focus on yourself in the present.

Buy Bitcoin ten years ago.

Charge your smartphone outside of your bedroom. You won't be tempted to use it before you go to bed, which means you fall asleep sooner, and you're less tempted to waste time on it when you first wake up.

Spend less time on reddit!

Stop drinking soda, just drink water

Drink water instead of soda. Try to get in at least 64 oz. a day.

Exercise.

I went from 220 to 165 just working out 20 mins a day 5 days a week a couple years ago. Never felt better. It kickstarted my life in a great direction. Been so much happier, healthier, productive, feel more energized, quit smoking, drinking redbull, boosted my confidence, which all directly contributed to meeting the woman of my dreams and marrying her. If I was still eating pizza and drowning in soda playing video games I'd be a miserable fuck right now.

Avoid nicotine and alcohol

Catch your negative thought loops and redirect that energy into positive thoughts

Reduce processed food consumption

Exercise

Do things you love EVERY day

Reach out to old friends

stop asking this question, thats how

Getting rid of social media such as Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. Plenty of research exists that shows that people are happier without it.

Do you mind sharing some of the sources? I'm not trying to be condescending or cynical I'm genuinely curious

Remember to find time for yourself. Whatever it may be you enjoy doing, it's so easy to forget to be a bit of an egoist sometimes and take the time to simply wind-down and relax.

Smile

In everyday life, in normal situations, assume that everybody around you has the best of intentions in mind. It's perfectly okay if you're wrong, that's not what's important. What's important is to stop blaming everybody for their screw-ups and/or seeing people as against you.

In return, start living your own life with the best of intentions. Someone steal your slice of cake from the office fridge? Instead of thinking about poisoning the next thing you place in that fridge in an attempt at making that person miserable for slighting you, bring in donuts or cookies or something and share them with the entire office. Take pleasure in brightening everybody's day rather than taking revenge on the one who made your day a little worse.

It wont stop bad things from happening to you, it will simply change how you perceive bad things, and your life will be better for it!

Note: Before people start pointing out all of the places that this mindset doesn't work...

This is not to be applied to people who have a pattern of making your life worse. If someone regularly makes you feel terrible about yourself, then obviously you should not just give them a pass and allow it to continue. Just, solve it with the best of intentions. Solve it without hating the other person, but by respecting your own needs enough to distance yourself from the situation.

This also doesn't excuse truly evil actions. There is no way to assume a murderer/etc is operating under "best intentions".

You can, however, uphold yourself to the best of intentions. Nothing can stop you from doing that, and even if it's difficult at times, you'll still feel better about yourself for it.

Say no to things you don’t want to do.

Don’t give other people power of definition over you.

Learn to play an instrument.

(Also, get therapy, but that is not always simple.)

Get rid of toxic people.

Have a psychedelic drug experience. It can really help you see your life and problems from a different perspective and help you work them out.

Be kind. 🌻

If people aren't feeding you, fucking you, or helping you in anyway, fuck them and their opinions. Even those who are doing the former take their opinions with a grain of salt.

SLEEP BETTER! Given that humans spend an average of 8 hours sleeping, if you improve your sleep quality that’s a possible 229,961 hours of your life you could better.

Last year I invested in new bed sheets, mattress, linen, pillows and duvet - really good quality (it’s expensive) stuff.

This had a direct impact on the quality of my sleep, increasing it from usually 6:30 hours to 7:30 hours now, and generally deeper sleeps.

Needless to say how much good sleep can then better lots of other aspects of your life.

But I have sleep apnea 😭 still months away from getting a cpap machine

Pay off all your debts as quickly as you can. You'll be amazed how much money you actually make when all your debtors hands are out of your pocket.

Roll the windows down and don't use the A/C

Stop drinking. There is no safe level of alcohol consumption. Yah I’m boring, but it’s true

Getting the right pair of underware

Start running or doing physical excersice. Its extremely therapeutic and its great for the mind body and soul. You will find that if you routinely run a lot of other parts of your life will improve.

Buy a detachable showerhead. Good lord, the immediate improvement to your day...

Sleep More

Cut down on your drinking

15 minute walk

Stop consuming any food with added sugar.

Use their signal, shoulder check and overall be a BETTER driver. Way too many bad drivers out there.

Work out. Even just a little bit releases endorphins that make you feel good all day.

Every morning when you wake up, set a realistic goal for the day. Whether it's something as simple as putting away your laundry after work or taking the garbage out, always set a goal for the day and whatever you do on top of your goal is a bonus. You'll realize that a sense of accomplishment for even something simple helps keep a positive attitude.

An example of it in my life is with all of the home projects I have. I do construction work for a living so I do all the work at my house by myself. If I'm renovating a bathroom which could take several weeks based on my free time after work, not setting a goal and just getting as much work done as possible still leaves me with a feeling of not doing enough. When I set a goal for the day such as getting sheetrock hung or painting all the trim or installing the new toilet, getting it done feels great even though theres more to do and I can use my bonus free time to get a head start on the next task.

I know a lot of people that do this and will agree that it's a great thing to do everyday

Floss. It will save your teeth.

If someone asks you to do something you don't want or have to do, say no. Don't give an excuse for why you're saying no. Just say no.

Don’t be to prideful, learn when to say sorry and admit when you are wrong

As soon as you think, "I should probably do that," do it. Whatever it is.

Don't put it off, whether it's something small like cleaning up after dinner or something bigger like booking a dental appointment or calling your Grandma.

That way, you won't forget about it, you won't get that constant feeling of dread about stuff you don't want to do (as you won't have time to think about it), and you'll stay on top of everything much easier.

Get a bidet. You will feel so much better with a clean arse

Be nice to people, they'll be nice to you.

May be late to this, but drinking enough water throughout the day helps you feel a lot better.

Clean your room.

Exercise!!!

It clears your mind, reduces stress and anger, and it’s a way to set goals and achieve things. Helps with motivation too. Like a package deal lol

working out more/less/harder

Volunteer. Helping others heal helps you heal.

Workout in some fashion, it makes you feel and look better and will overall give you a more positive attitude when done recreationally. Plus the many many health benefits

Get a job... Simple enough

Adopt a more optimistic outlook on life. Every time you start feeling down, stop yourself and think of the things that you have to look forward to. Eventually you'll rewire yourself to think be a more positive person.

Don't gossip. In the end you'll only get more and more insecure by judging others

not ask this question every day

Eat ass

With kindness!

Nope straight on fucking nose in the ass kinda eating ass

be more kind.

Not pay attention to politics

Not be an asshole.

Brush twice a day!

Not start smoking

Getting out of bed when your alarm clock goes off. Instantly makes me more productive in the morning.

Cut sugar out of your diet. Itll improve your mental health and your physical health more than one might think. Highly recommend looking into the effects of processed sugar and its effects

Talk to old people; they know a shitload more than you, and they don't mind talking about it.

Be still.

Seriously, the next time you're outside where you have a moment that you can do absolutely nothing, take a few deep breaths and focus on the trees, wind, etc. Something you're not directly connected to. Just spend a minute not thinking of anything but what you're looking at. Call it "micro-meditation" (unless someone else already has used the term). Doesn't completely focus me, but does calm my nerves to some extent.

drink more water. y’all some dehydrated mother fuckers out here.

/r/waterniggas

Take some time to get to know really know the people you’re forced to be around. People really appreciate even the smallest recognition, and you may find a gem of a person just hidden away.

Don’t take things so hard. Don’t let yourself get bummed out so easily. I know this sounds cliche but think positively.

Live for yourself not for others.

Not procrastinating

Exercise

Stop texting and pick up the phone or meet people to handle problems or disputes. Texting I swear 9/10 blows thing out of proportion and are miss-read.

Give compliments to people. And pet dogs!

Meditate! Even just 5 minutes a day or an hour a day whatever you can manage, sit and allow the thoughts to drift off. It will help you at so many stages and points of your life

Take a little time at the end or start of each day to think about a few things you’re grateful for.

My mom told me to do this for years and I ignored her and blew off the idea until recently, my SO was having a bad day and as we stood outside at dusk, I talked about gratitude for tiny things like the warmth of the sun and being able to stand and breathe on our own. I felt filled with this buoyancy and light that I hadn’t felt since I was a kid.

Even if it’s the smallest, most simple thing; something nice happened at your work or school, someone paid you a compliment, you accomplished a short or long term goal or are just happy you’re still alive and fighting, acknowledging even to yourself that you’re grateful every day can make a big difference.

Stop taking shit that other people do/say personally. All of that is about them and their drama, not you. Just let it roll off and go along your way. Choose the people whose opinions and actions actually matter to you very, very carefully, and don’t give anyone a default pass just because they’re blood-related. Life is so much more peaceful this way.

Jump rope once a day. Doesn't matter how long, just do it every day and you will notice a difference in a lot of things.

Die

Stop being so attractive

Play video games

Cut out sugar as much as you can. Best thing i ever did

I recently cut out most sugar and oddly enough I have so much more energy. I used to drink Dr Pepper all day, pretty much the only thing I ever drank, so I think I was on a constant sugar crash.

You can't really avoid sugar all together, but I went cold turkey on pop a few months ago, and stopped eating candy and junk food and it's been pretty awesome. I took a drink of my fiances Dr Pepper and almost gagged, it tasted like I stuck a straw in a bag of sugar. I mostly drink water with flavor enhancers, and sometimes Diet Pop, which I used to think was disgusting, but you get used to it.

Exactly, it's almost gross to have real sugar in my coffee.

Don't be an asshole. Watch how everyone will be a lot nicer to you when you give off a more positive vibe

Stop thinking about the negatives in life or lose the mindset that things always go wrong for you. Instead look for the silver linings in everything.

Helps with taking on any challenge without the fear of failing.

I may be vision impaired and color blind, but one thing I’ve learned to see clearly are the silver linings in life.

Consider what do you have and not what you do not have.

Smile more

To be nicer if someone is missing a pencil and you have one GIVE THEM A STUPID PENCIL if you have gum and you best friend asks for some GIVE THEM SOME hold the door pick up a pencil say good job or good game that is what the whole world needs to do more often

-and that’s coming from a 12 year old

Exercise

Make an effort to think more positive thoughts when you find your thoughts trailing down the wrong path.

Learn a language or how to play an instrument. It enriches your life immensely.

Avoid bad self-destructive thoughts. If you don't you may end up traped it happend to me and its kind of difficult to stay away.

Stop smoking

Smile and compliment others as much as possible. I know they say that "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" but if you take the complement to be true as well "if you have something nice to say, say it" it really pays off. Trust me, no matter how many mistakes you've made or how much you've fucked up in a day, it really helps your sense of self worth to know you made someone smile. It feels good to make others smile.

Develop a consistent and healthy sleep habit

Getting your sleep schedule right

Drink more water

Be nice to people.

Floss your teeth. It makes a difference.

Get up early. You have more time to do stuff in the day and I find I'm just naturally more productive.

Learn to say no to your friends.

Don’t do drugs

Sleep. Sleep a healthy amount.

Make your bed in the morning, and if you think of a task/chore you need to do while you have the time to do it, just do it. Sounds simple/silly, but it will better your daily life and make you feel better about yourself.

Its okay to tell people "no".

Delete Facebook

Be content

Drink more water and less of everything basically

Honestly it sounds so stupid but get up a bit earlier.

I find when I have time in the morning to just think about what’s coming or what I need to do it get processed and by the time it happens it just gets done.

If I get up later I feel like I just buzz through the day as if I am looking at the world from a rollercoaster. That little time in the morning to have a cup of tea and just think makes all the difference.

As a secondary answer, sit down and think about the people who are in your life and if you can’t think of a way that they benefit you, or at the very least do not hinder your goals than reevaluate them.

I found that a "do it now" philosophy has really improved my life as a procrastinator

Learn to say no in a gracious way. It will save you time, money, stress, sleep, and countless other things.

Show up on time and not a minute late

Turn off the beep noise on your microwave.

Find a creative outlet, a lot of problems I’ve had in the past were caused because I had no positive way to express the emotions I was experiencing everyday. You might not be good a something right now but when you start you become a closer to being good at something.

Never get married.

Aesthetically, comb your hair, wear nice (nice doesn't have to mean expensive) clothes, and get a good pair of comfortable boots. You'll look better, feel better, and thanks to the added confidence, do better.

Source: I weight about 320 pounds. I was a step and a half away from becoming an incel in my 20s. These three changes (and notice I didn't put weight loss on the list) turned a lot around for me, and I realized that maybe it had been my fault that women didn't like me.

Save and invest some money while you are young. I saved 12,000 when I was in my 20's, took 6 years. Invested in the stock market(mutual funds), I'm projecting $2,000 /month income when I turn 65. I wish I had saved double that!

I just noticed that $2,000/year in my 20's translated to $2,000 per month in my 60's- I wonder if this is a workable formula. If so, it could be very motivational!

Have some 'me' time for yourself. So that you can relax and do things you like, like walking outdoor, watching tv,playing games or reading a book. Something simple, not something hard to do! People forget those things alot!

Don't have kids. FFS use protection, just don't have kids.

Go for a walk. Pick up trash on the way as well if you'd like to.

Just remember, life is a book and you need to read between the lines to enjoy little things 😊

Explore yourself, learn new things, find your calling ...

For more , ping me

Fasten their seatbelt and remind everyone

Walk for an hour - counting calories is complicated, following a diet is tedious.....all you got to do is walk for an hour.

Stop drinking. I cannot stress enough how much my life changed for the better and I suddenly had more money.

Make your bed!

Get some low maintenance plants, like succulents. They brighten the home and give you something to care for less so than a pet. Watching the growth can be very rewarding :)

Think of your self more highly, surround yourself with decent minded people and have atleast a but of positive outlook

Smile when you walk past people no matter what

Get consistant sleep. Doesn't matter what time, consistency is more important.

Floss

Give up alcohol and tobacco.

Meditation.

Brush their teeth.

Learn to be alone comfortably

Stop lying.

Make your bed in the morning. I used to never do it until I met my boyfriend who does it routinely. Coming home to a made bed somehow makes you life feel a little more put together!

Go to the gym or start any type of workout. There’s all kinds of at home workouts you can do that isn’t too expensive or find a good gym. After a couple of weeks you can feel/see the improvements on your body.

Also eating healthier helps. After about a week of eating healthy/not eating out, your body feels so much better. When you eat junk after getting used to the healthier lifestyle, you end up just feeling all gross

Be kind to others.

When you're at work, do your best. Time will fly by and your boss will love you.

wash your ass properly.

Get a huge ass “whatever” button and push it repeatetly!

Not be a dick

I am a fat guy. I work my ass off at Gym. The one thing i do is give thumbs up to all the people there. It really brings out the positivity and they feel like their hard work is seen which gives them tremendous happiness.

Take responsibility for your own actions and how they affect your life and everyone else's. Stop blaming others people and things for everything.

Not be an asshole.

Go somewhere new once a year. Even if it's close to home or miles away. See new places, meet people, experience the local food and traditions, make wonderful memories. Enjoy every second of it. You deserve it. M

Don't let others take your kindness for weakness, if you are kind - that is.

This is a tip I learned from my therapist for when something is bothering you but not serving you.

I was becoming obsessed with something that is rightfully bothersome but something that I couldnt do anything about. It didn't deserve to take up the time and mind space I was giving it.

So I do allow it some time. If it's bothering me, I say okay I'm going to dedicate 15 minutes to this. Write down my thoughts, allow my mind to think only about that for a set amount of time.

After that time has elapsed, I dont give it any more time that day. If it re-enters my mind, I tell myself "no, I already gave that subject more attention than it deserves today." If it continues to bother me, I'll give it another 15 minutes tomorrow.

For me, its worked to not let my mind obsess over something that isn't productive to think about.

just dont be a fucking idiot

Surround yourself with good people

Honoring parents

Delete facebook, spend less time on social media and just figure yourself out. Seeing other people constantly making themselves look like they were having a better life then me made me so depressed. So i just kept a couple accounts on like twitter and and reddit. Where i couldn't see faces or people and I've been doing so much better

Wear condoms

Drink water. Lots of it.

Write down your recipes on note cards then write down all the ingredients for that recipe on the back of the note card then laminate that note card and put all of those note cards in one place. When you're deciding your meals for the week pull out the corresponding card and you have a grocery list based on the back of all of the cards.

Floss, it’s essential for good dental hygiene

Stop talking so negatively all the time such as saying you want to die, even if its moreso in a joking or attention seeking manner. Typing out or saying intrusive thoughts like that constantly starts to add up on your conscious.

Listen to self-help audiobooks on your commute. Could be YouTube, Audible or Hoopla app (free audiobook and other stuff from your public library) or whatever. When you find something that resonates with you, study it. Listen to it several times and then actually follow up and implement the suggestions. So much is available, much of it for free. 🙂

Never keep your best television in the same room as your bed.

Staying consistent

Let others be

Stand outside in the sun for 10 minutes a day and get your vitamin D. Vitamin D deficiency can be easily fixed.

Read books

Drink water. Legit it's better then coffee, energy drinks.

Make their bed every morning instead of once a year

Don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t know something. This is especially important for work places

If you have a problem with reddit, stop. A few months without it will do wonders to your productivity. Once you've got your shit together, use it in moderation.

Go out more

Organize their schedule

Sleep early

Cut out all the negative people dragging them down, no one needs that kind of energy. Trust me.

Hit up the gym. If you think you look good, you’ll also feel good. The gym is good for body and soul.

water, stay hydrated.

Buy a Fleshlight of course.

Do stuff you don't like and or are afraid of doing. Try new stuff. Do some reading and learn about random subjects. Hang out with people who are different from you. Learn some basic psychology and evaluate yourself so you can reason about your behaviors and choices and are not functioning automatically.

Buy a wallet and key tracker...Saves so much pointless time trying to scramble around and find your lost items. Trust me it’s a solid purchase!

Just put your shit in the same spot, always.

Do homework

Plan out your whole tomorrow and stick to that plan.

Don't "one up" people. If someone tells you a cool story that happened just acknowledge and move on. Don't tell them about when you did something that was more fun for you.

Listen more than you talk.

Try to spend less time on your phone/computer/tv watching. Constantly distracting yourself with tv binges, YouTube black holes and mindless social media scrolling is useless and detrimental. Read a book, go on a walk, sit there with your thoughts free of distraction and try to work out some of the whirlwind of mental clutter bouncing around in your head that you would otherwise ignore by having your eyes glued to a screen.

Shorten commute to work.

Start your day by making your bed.

Put your dirty dishes in the dish washer instead of letting them pile up in the sink.

Have positive thoughts, your thoughts define you

Don't dwell on anything negative.

Be aware of your habits. Everyone has habits, but a lot of them are unconcious and unhealthy. Once I became aware of how much some of the stupid things i did was really holding me back it gave me the motivation to improve.

Floss your teeth every day. It takes 2 minutes and you don’t have to lie to your dentist when you clearly have gingivitis

Drink more water.

I posted this on another thread about mental health/depression but it would apply here too;

Make your bed every day. It doesn't have to be when you get up if you're not a morning person, even a little while before bed will do but it's effects are varied.

  • if you have a crappy day you've still accomplished something, even as mundane as making your bed. 'Well I did something right at least'

  • it's more comfortable made than having the duvet scrunched up and you'll thank yourself for it

  • it's like the concept of a house with a broken window will invite more vandalism, with a neat and tidy bed it improves the feel of the room and will likely make you want to put away clean clothes etc.

Simple task with small but useful results

Meditate

Clean something. Every single day, clean something.

I have, over the years, had a terrible habit of putting off cleaning entirely, because when there's not much to clean, it's not bad so I can worry about it later; but when it adds up over time, it's a monumental task that I just don't have the time to tackle all at once.

Been doing spring cleaning for about a week now. Last Sunday, back porch. Monday, trash (including throwing out things I never really use, Marie Kondo style). Tuesday, vacuuming. Wednesday, main kitchen counter. Thursday, laundry. Friday, laundry (there's a lot of it). Saturday, dishes. Sunday, vacuum again. Tonight, trash. Tomorrow, the rest of the kitchen. Wednesday, laundry (seriously a fuckload, I had piles).

Just doing more cleaning than mess making every day is getting me there. And the cleaner it gets, the more motivated I am to keep going. It's had a notable positive impact on my mood when I'm at home. Used to be pushing aside anxiety about how messy it was, now I'm channeling that anxiety into action and it's great.

Uninstall fortnite

Sleep!

Replace soda with carbonated flavor water. All of the taste and fizz of real soda, none of the bad stuff.

Drink more water and make more art

Get in shape.

Stop being so possessive and controlling about stuff, when you manhandle relationships it hurts both people. Letting go can be the best move of your life.

Appreciate, appreciate that your alive, appreciate that their well, and appreciate people that have some time to talk or do small things, that may not mean much but can have an impact on their day.

Use their blinkers when driving...

Be nice

Eat well

Move your body/exercise regularly in some manner

Smile more often.

Call your parents/family more often, video chat with them if possible

Listen to metal. Start off easy then start exploring all the sub genres. Find your musical passion.

Put on relaxing music and maybe an incense during shower/bath. It's a simple way to treat yourself after a tiring day. It gets me really relaxed before bed when I'm too wound up to sleep.

Make your bed every morning

Actively thank the people providing you a service, regardless of what it is

Drink more water.

Practice some form of fasting on a daily/weekly basis. You can start by eating what you normally eat during a typical day, but within an 8hr period, giving your body 16 hrs of fasting time which is mostly done while you're sleeping anyway.

Try to put something in your savings account at least once a month and then just leave it. Doesn't matter whether it's $1000, $10, or just that penny you found on the sidewalk. It adds up over time and can eventually give you a good emergency fund if and when things go seriously south on you.

Pee while sitting down as a guy. Trust me.

Take cold showers. Life changing.

[deleted]

This needs more upvotes

Commit to being totally honest & authentic. Take up meditation. 5-minute journal. Gratitude centered. Eat a plant based, whole foods centered diet. Be kind to everyone, especially those who don't immediately provoke it. Be especially kind and forgiving of yourself, as you're human, complete with mistakes. Be humble, but confident. When making decisions, communicate your ideals with those who matter, attempt to analytically disprove your ideals; if you can't, they really are ideal & worth experiencing. Come to an understanding that happiness is yours to tap into right now, as a choice, but it's fleeting... life is waves of happiness & other emotions, some less pleasant... the ultimate understanding is that it doesn't matter how you are doing right now, because its going to change; up & down, up & down... so instead focus on moving your "centerline" of the wave toward that of joy & gratitude. They are not fleeting, they require only acceptance, choice, active cultivation, & usually, selfless service to a greater cause.

I like all of this. Thanks

My pleasure :)

Wake up earlier

Don't eat when you aren't Hungry

I have gotten into the habit of just eating stuff when I feel like it and have gained 10+ pounds. It is a very hard habit to break but I have started to eat very low calorie snacks that won't make me gain as much wheight as I have been gaining.

Make a point of being kind and empathetic to everyone you come across. Remember peoples names.

I didn’t know it until I finally did it at the beginning of 2019... but set your alarm on your phone and place it across the room so you’re force to get up. I no longer have to rush to get where I’m going because I hit snooze too many times. And now reputation for being late all the time is going away.

Drink more water

Drink a healthy amount of water*

More people were admitted into hospital for drinking too much water than not enough water last year (I was one of them).

Drink more water

Just don’t be a jerk. Be honest yes, (I saw a comment about it) but don’t just “YOU SUCK, SUCK AN EGG!” Just calm yourself for a sec. constructive criticism is also a way to improve, you know be more accepting to it so you can improve your ways

Admit when you fuck up and just move on. If it hurt somebody, apologize to that person, even via text if you're too proud to do it face to face, and that's it. Don't bury yourself in excuses, deep down you know you're wrong + nobody buy it

Get up early, avoid staying up late. More natural balance for your body.

Make a daily planner. Write down things that you need to do that day and do them throught the day.

Excersise.

Win the lottery

While simple, it requires an initial purchase of a ticket, and luck.

I wish you the best.

Spend less time on Reddit.

Clean your damn room.

Drink water.

Try to be as empathetic as you can for a little while. It's easy to get bogged down by how shitty the general public can be.Lots of advice will basically say "let go of anger" but when we're talking about the little things that pile up from strangers throughout the day that's a lot easier said than done.

So when we're talking about being generally irritated with the strangers we encounter day to day I find it's relaxing to sort of 'make up excuses' for why someone might do something annoying and hope that's why. There's a lot of entitled crappy people out there who are just jerks for no reason but just try to imagine a reason why a decent person (ya know like yourself ;] ) might do something and it can keep your day from being ruined by something small.

That girl who cut you off? She's running late just like you were 2 days ago. Or she just didn't see you like that time you pulled out of McDonald's and almost wrecked. Barista got your order wrong or made you repeat it too many times to not be annoying? He is just a little frazzled after being yelled at, like anyone might be, for a few minutes for something he didn't know about. Old lady won't stop talking to cashier in front of the line? It's probably the first she's been able to have some human interaction in a while so you'd probably do the same in her shoes.

Maybe that girl is just a bitch or a bad driver. Maybe that barista really just shouldn't be working this particular job. Maybe that old lady isn't lonely she just doesn't care if she's holding up the line and she's not in a hurry so fuck everybody else. But we'll never know if they deserve your forgiveness or not so it can be better to excuse them in your own head since they'll never suffer any consequences/revenge for cutting you off but you'll be bothered by it all day.

You should read the manuscript "This is Water" by David Foster Wallace. It was a commencement speech, but it is very similar to this. It completely changed my life and the way I look at the world.

I will definitely check it out thank you!

Drink more water. Or so I’ve been told, as I drink my 8th cup of coffee.

Eat less chips 😭

Understanding that you need to be quiet. Shutting up sometimes is a great way to make people like you and make a great first impression on people.

Mind your own business. Focus on yourself rather than obsessing, stressing, and gossiping about the lives of others, or how they perceive yours. Spend some time alone to reflect and rejuvenate. Work on inner joy and inner peace rather than seeking validation from an external source. Happiness comes from within. Success is personal. A better life starts by minding your own.

Every night when you go to bed listen 40 Hz for 20 minutes and experience the ultimate bliss.

"The noises, the TV, the rusty old pipes
The cat always teasin' my dog
The neighbors, the quarrels, the screaming of kids
For the first time in years I'll sleep like a log" L.A.

Take vitamins and increase water intake. Take 5 minutes a day to give thanks and gratitude to your higher power. Throw out clutter....for real! Get sunshine whenever you have the opportunity . Do something creative, whether it be painting a piece of furniture, writing a poem, or decorating a cake. Make a budget so you know what you're working with. Connect with a friend a week. Make a list of what makes you content...include all 5 senses and incorporate them into your living space. Make daily and weekly to-do lists. Set out your clothes the night before. Pick one day a week to plan your meals, grocery shop (or use a grocery delivery service), gas up your car, laundry, ect. Then you will be free as a bird the rest of the week!

Hello!

Don’t attend every argument you’re invited to.

Admit it when you are proven wrong.

Practicing humility

Be less sedentary. Look for ways to add in walking or standing in places where you ordinarily opt for sitting or taking a cab/train etc

E.g. used to take 3 trains to work so I could walk the least amount. Switched to one train with a 10 min walk. Get to enjoy the sun now that spring is coming

Drink water, and save the bees

How will drinking water save the bees?

The next time you find yourself just having to tell someone what someone else said about them....STOP.

1) That person won't have to wonder who else you have been talking about them to behind their back. 2) What purpose does it serve to tell them? Will it hurt their feelings? Will it cause hard feelings? What do you hope to gain by telling them? 3) Improve yourself by having more integrity and not spreading rumors.

Make your bed

Self care. It has honestly helped a lot with my depression. Taking care of my skin and hair has given me something to do that is good for me and I feel a lot better

Monitoring calories. You don’t have to compromise everything you like to eat but it also helps you understand how you work. After I started actually monitoring calories I stopped having stomach problems and generally felt better. It’s easy cause there are a bunch of free apps to help.

Save money. Every little bit helps.

Read a book.

Stop saying negative sentiments about yourself.. No "I'm trash/my interests are trash", no "man I wish I was dead", no "I'm a horrible person".

No, seriously.

Cutting negative self talk out of my vocabulary inproved my self esteem by about 1000%. I feel happier, my deppression is being managed more easily, my general mood has increased.

I no longer feel ashamed or the need to irrationally defend even minor criticisms about things I like. Enjoying things is easier without the need to constantly be downplaying my interest in it.

Chronic negative sentiments towards yourself and the things you like is poison, plain and simple. It poisons your brain, your attitude, you life.

What a great question. Keep trying to better yourself on your own time. Read books. Challenge yourself. Embrace learning. That's where I'm at right now.

Look for people that can use your love and help

Go to a therapist.

Drink more water

Bathe regularly

To stop watching porn and jacking off. It’s a giant waste of time and it really messes with your brain and the way you interact with the opposite sex.

Delete REDIT

Go to sleep earlier, not saying 8 pm like give yourself an extra half an hour or an hour. More sleep = less problems

Seriously that shit is good for ya

Stoicism

Get up early and move physically for 30-60 minutes every morning, no matter what. Think of it as a no-questions-asked appointment with yourself, each day. You slowly start training your brain to tackle the hard things in life, first, which builds self confidence and a stronger mindset.

Never read r/politics comments. It’s where brain cells go to die.

Paying attention to your language. Saying "I'm bad at X" is programming yourself to believe such. saying "I'm not good at X yet, but I'm going to be/I'm working on it" can make a huge difference. If you make a mistake, instead of saying something self deprecating, saying something like "I'm a functional adult" even while you're laughing at yourself, joking really, is better. (Honestly, I've noticed an improvement in my own self confidence since I started doing this.)

Your subconscious doesn't pick up on the self deprecation being a joke, even if your conscious mind does. Be kind to yourself with what you say <3

Stop trying to change people who clearly don't want to. Toxic friends are parasitic. Get rid of them.

When working towards a goal that seems so far away youll never reach it, break it down into little goals.

For example, say you want to be your goal weight in 1 year. A year is a daunting time frame sometimes. After all, its a long time to stay committed to an excersice routine and a calorie deficit. But if instead you say "this month Im going to lose 6 pounds" then it becomes much easier to stay focused. Its a much smaller chunk of time, and when you stay busy a month practically flies by. Before you know it the year has passed and youre where you wanted to be.

Stop smoking, saves a shit ton of money and means you get to live healthier

I don't smoke because I'm cheap, and health care from the effects of smoking costs too much compared to oxygen.

Facts

Not surprisingly, it's part of the reason I rarely drink as well.

A regular workout routine

Each day try to do one nice thing for someone (even a stranger) but dont tell anyone about it.

Read a book, then read another

Don't worry too much about your personality and appearance, be yourself. You'll get friends better and faster by being yourself and not being fake. Well, atleast you'll get genuine people as your companion in life. Unless you're a total douchebag, THEN you should start making your personality better. :)

Get off of reddit. This site doesn’t give real advice. It’s a safe space for insecure people to pat each other on the back

Constantly drink water throughout the day!

Drink less soda/pop. It may seem like such a stupid and insignificant thing but soda can actually change a diet completely. I stopped drinking soda cold turkey after being concerned with high blood pressure and heavy weight and it made such a massive difference. Not to mention soda increases the chance of heart disease and the glucose can turn to fat in the liver if it is not used. That doesn't mean you have to cut it out completely, but do try to drink soda and energy drinks with moderation to cut down on blood pressure and chances of life endangering diseases.

Try to be nice/calm/respectful to people even when you would rather shove rusty nails to some VERY inappropriate places.

It's super easy to just be toxic/angry/dickface, so you are going to need all the training possible to behave yourself when shit gets heated.

Stop watching the news.

drink more water.

Get up and go to work

Using a mint or gum or something. Bad breath is so easy to fix but so many people still have it

Get more sleep.

Drink more water.

Exercise moderately throughout the week. At least a half hour with elevated pulse rate per session, twice a week.

Eat more fruits and vegetables, less processed foods and carbohydrate-rich foods.

Quit smoking.

Try to speak with love and understanding more than you discuss negative things or complain.

Read more nonfiction. Read fiction too.

Do things for you. Things that you dont share any interest in with anyone else. Things you'll never discuss with anyone else. Things you dont do for attention or pride, but things that you get satisfaction or a feeling of completeness from.

These arent the things I see other people talking about, but these are VERY basic things many ppl underestimate. Things you can go out tomorrow and start doing.

Make a list. And whenever you've gone 21 days of consistently doing one item, mark it off (keep doing it!), and move to the next one.

No pressure, no real issue. And after you've gone a year doing all of them, I guarantee you you will feel better about life.

Let It Go.......

All of it.

Just breathe.

Live.

**note to self: move on, breathe, let it all go.....

One of the things that changed my life.

Stop worrying about what other people are doing. Where they are, how successful they are, how lucky they are, how happy they are, how "if I were them, I'd be happy"

Focus on yourself. One small thing at a time. and before you know it, you will have created a life that someone else wishes they had.

and then you can share with them the same thing :)

Cluttered desk, cluttered mind.

Empty desk, empty mind.

This might get buried, but stay off social media as much as possible (Facebook, and Instagram mostly) I deleted my Facebook page almost a week ago and I already feel so much better

WATER

Even when your not thirsty drink water

take out the trash

Be active. Don’t sit down at work all day and then come home to do the same. Move around.

Travel and volunteer. Sometimes together if you are able.

For me, these two activities force me to feel small in the world - And that feeling has let me step aside from all the bullshit around me. It makes me appreciate the good things in my life and it makes me shrug off the inconveniences and insults.

To stop procrastinating

Late to the party but, keep learning!

Get into something you like and learn more about it. It's history, how it works, interesting applications, etc.

My passion is language every day I set at least an hour aside to do just that. I'm now working on my fifth language.

Hablo español con fluencia. 日本語も喋ります。 我现在学习汉语。 한국어 공부해요 .

One of my buddies has done a similarly insane thing with hand carving, and another with traveling.

You'll feel better with one hour per day, especially if you take that time away from Netflix or Internet browsing.

If you're a language nerd like me, I highly encourage choosing languages in the same family... Saves you from learning a new alphabet every time...

Anything that takes less than 2 minutes, just do it. No I'll do it later or I'll do it tomorrow. If it takes less than 2 minutes just knock it out right then.

When you go to sleep at night right before bed forgive everyone who has wronged you EVERYONE and never mention it again.

I know this comment will get lost, but BATHE/SHOWER REGULARLY! Make it part of your daily routine to clean yourself up and take care of your hygiene. Use products you love, splurge on the good stuff once in a while, make it a treat. As someone who deals with depression I know that it can sometimes be nearly impossible to drag yourself into the shower, but I find it makes a world of difference to my mental wellbeing to be clean.

Drink more water

Wait three days (if possible) before making a decision that could have potentially huge consequences....whether it’s sending an angry email, ending a friendship, quitting a job. I spent most of my twenties reacting, instead of responding and, I think, if I had observed this three day rule, it would have saved me a ton of heartache. Taking some time to process and evaluate has, no joke, changed my life.

Wake up every morning and name three things you are grateful for in your life.

RTFM.

To expand on that, don't rush things because you think you know what you are doing. Take the time to understand what you about to delve into.

"Measure twice, cut once."

GET GRATEFUL! We milk 5 bad minutes into a bad day, and if you THINK of something that makes you happy that you're truly grateful for, the bad mood will start to dissipate.

Stand in front of a minute for 5 minutes a day, put a big HUGE grin on your face, even if you force it, and list all the things you're grateful for, OUT LOUD, with enthusiasm, you'll be vibrating.

I'll do this 2-3 times a day if it's a long one.

Meditation

Wake up an hour earlier than you normally would on a work/school day. Don't lose sleep though, go to bed an hour earlier as well and use the extra time in the morning to do what you think should be done.

Regular exercise

Figure out your purpose. Do things with intention and realize that you can love people without liking people and vice versa. You love people because you know they will go outside their comfort zone to do things you value and you like people that enjoy the pleasures of life.

Edit: it’s not simple, but you should try to do it

Regular exercise

Adopt a cat

Ignore your inner voice and work outside your comfort zone

Travel. No matter how far you go, it's incredibly eye opening to see the world from a different view. I've been around the globe and I will tell you I am a different person today than I was before I began traveling.

Stop caring what other people think about you.

Responsibility and organization I would say are important things to always improve on.

Put the phone down and go outdoors

I read this, probably in another reddit thread before but I live by the 5 minute rule. If something takes me five minutes or less to complete, I have to do it. It has pulled me out of anxious and depressive episodes because I have forced myself to do minor tasks that eventually led to my overall feeling better.

Realize that it's ok to be uncomfortable and get used to being uncomfortable. I started to see fitness, dietary changes and the career grind in a different light.

Stop drinking sugary beverages and switch to water. More energy, clear thinking.

The bed is sacred, no extended loitering or watching youtube for two hours before going to sleep.

Much better quality of sleep.

If you don't understand something...don't be afraid to ask.

Put acid in your coffee, it gives you a whole new perspective on the day ahead 🤣

Test the temp of the shower with your hand first instead of blasting yourself with ice water

Start dougting theirselves

[removed]

How many thousand comments did you read before finding mine?

Eat right. Your mind is an organ too and needs good nutrition

Be curious. Be teachable. Listen when other people talk. Every moment is an opportunity to learn something new.

This is not to say that you can't maintain your own opinions, or that you shouldn't think critically about anything you're told. But walking through the world like you already know everything robs you of so many chances to expand your knowledge.

Find ten things to be thankful for everyday.

Try going to bed early and waking up earlier much healthier for your body and can be productive throughout the day

Find balance... I have yet to achieve this

Eat only what you need, sleep only what you need, breath well, forget your ego, love every living being

Stop automatically judging people and try to look at situations in a different way.

Read books.

Not saying a cringey thing.

Write it down

Invest, just pick a huge company that's is solid and well known, and throw some beer money at it every paycheck. You learn volumes about saving and finance, the most effective ways to stretch your dollar, and if you stay in for the long haul you'll most likely grow your investment far better than a savings account.

be thankful for everything happy or sad sick or healthy poor or rich be thankful you are happy good make others happy too you are healthy perfect keep it that way you are rich live you're life and if there is some money that you will never use just hidden in a safe donate it there is nothing bad that can come from that you are sad try to learn or forget about what makes you sad you are sick be thankful that it can't be worst and if it is and you're are power or time is limited live the moment and make memories with the others so you can always be remembered for the good you are your poor it's not the end of the world there is always time to approve be better for you and for your family

Drink more water (2L~2,5L/day)! It’s literally the easiest thing you can do to improve your health and your looking. It really works and people don’t pay that much attention to it

Make your bed every morning when you wake up. I swear it’ll make you feel like your day is starting out a little better.

Drink water.

Go out and help better someone elses dipshit. J.C.

Smile...

Drink more water. It just rejuvenates you, helps get rid of toxins, and makes you feel really good!

Elliptical machine. It's low impact on your joints, burns a ton of calories, is good for your heart and lungs, and it honestly doesn't feel very taxing on your body. I smoke a little bit of weed and listen to music while I do it and zone out.

Drink more water

Make a list in the days/ week leading up to a doctor's appointment.

Can't believe how long it's taken me to find out basic shit concerning my health.

Cut out bad habbits like social media, fapping and reading negative news articles,
that + Enough Sleep and Exercise = Better life.

Save a few dollars wherever you can. Even a small amount that won't be missed, will improve your life later. But you'll feel good about it now.

Accept that you aren't going to be right always, and accept the truth from others. Accept that everybody has their own idea og what is right and wrong, and respect their opinion.

Unless it's immoral og course

Spend less time on social media’s (besides reddit of course 😉). It really gives you more time throughout the day to focus on your hobby’s and work.

Brush your teeth guys...seriously. Coming from someone who neglected that easy task.

Smile. It helps.

Help out others when you can! The other day I changed a tire for a lady who hit a nail. She was grateful and able to go on with her errands while I felt like a super hero.

Proper Communication!!

I am sure it has already been said .....but STOP consuming carbs / sugar!

I was a skeptic but after 2 years I have lost 70lbs.

No more CPAP - No longer Pre-Diabetic - No more BP Meds - Bigger Wang !

Ask people how their day is going. I’m talking about folks like the cashier at your store or the waiter for your table. They’re people too, and it not only makes them feel less like just machines, but it can actually help you make more friends. Even if it doesn’t, it makes every conversation you have much more organic and meaningful

Knock one out daily

Drop the toxic people. It sucks when you think your gonna hate yourself afterwards but trust me, you feel so much better after

I feel like the saying "less is more" holds true in many aspects of living. As another comment mentioned, clearing up your living space to only what you actually use goes a long way in not only making your place more aesthetically pleasing, but also more peaceful and enjoyable to live in. As another example, eating out less helps not only your budget and finances, but also your health and well-being.

“Clean your room” -Jordan Peterson

Buy a new pillow. I just recently bought two new pillows and I didn't realize how horrible and flat my old pillows were.

Start and end each day with a big glass of water. It's a simple routine to establish and your body will thank you for it

It sounds really lame but doing some stretches in the morning. If you have a tight morning schedule it might be a little more difficult to find the time but seriously, doing some light stretches right after you wake up makes you feel so ready and mentally aware for the day.

Eat right and exercise

Find community.

Help someone out. Even a small gesture can brighten both your days. Maybe a senior in your neighborhood needs some weeds pulled. Maybe help a kid with his/her homework. Feels good to know you've helped a fellow human.

Dump facebook.

Dress well. Its surprising how much it can change how people view and treat you

Care

Exercise daily

Chew your food thoroughly. Mastication (chewing) sends signals to your brain basically saying "I'm safe enough to be eating food, so things can't be that bad." Also the more you chew, the less work your stomach has to do to break down the food, which should mean less stress for your body

Call me out if I'm wrong.

Leave the house once a day for anything other than work. Go outside for just a few minutes & take a short walk. I’m bedridden these days & you don’t realize how important this is or how much of a difference it makes until it’s gone.

1 Get sober. 2 Make amends 3 Recognize your best qualities 4 Apply your abilities 5 Quit fast food 6 show the people you love how much they mean to you instead of just saying i love you 7 Realize you're not the only one that funks up a bathroom stall after tacos 8 Tell your mom you love her 9 Grandparents need love

Any of the above apply

H Y D R A T E. you’ll seriously feel better

Always help those who cannot help themselves.

Do something mentally stimulating every day. Read a book, do logic puzzles, complete a crossword/word search/etc, put together a regular photo puzzle, even something like Tetris or another similar game. It helps with mental acuity and has been shown to help retain that sharpness as you age.

Get off this site and work on whatever you've been putting off, even if its just starting it!

Exercise, even just going for a walk around the neighbourhood is better than sitting on the couch all evening.

Meditation

I know I'm late, but quite literally keep your chin up. If you're someone who suffers from depression, try to catch yourself if you're looking downward, and start looking forward. I don't mean that hypothetically; there's a psychological reason that it tends to improve your mood over time, and I've notice it helps me as well.

Quit social media. Choose life.

Waiting for the drink more water comments lol

If you are in pain for more than a couple of days - go and see a doctor.

Yes, this is for all the guys out there who haven’t seen a doctor in years.

Obviously this works best when you have universal healthcare.

Don't ever lie.

Make your bed. Start your day with a success

Remember that this applies to both your day-to-day world, as well as the internet...

You don't need to participate in every argument to which you are invited.

Sleep more

Make up your bed

Not take peoples' comments so fucking personally, but rather use it as a way to improve oneself.

Pay in cash.

It makes you consequence weight the purchase.

Be honest with yourself about your friends, don't ever keep a score card, and be wary of those who do.

I sadly live by "More friends in family, than family in friends" it's important to me I'm never an anchor for someone, and I never allow an anchor for myself.

Motivated me to get off my ass, thanks for posting this OP

Stop living in Barnsley

Floss. Multiple studies are now showing that bacteria in the mouth that gets into the bloodstream without regular flossing can lead to other health issues such as high blood pressure complications in pregnancy is diabetes

Drink more water

Drinking a lot of water everyday. You will be amazed how much of a difference it will make.

Uninstall social media apps from your phone.

Meditate.

Just smile and be chill

Simple quote from a book I can't recall...

​

"When in doubt, be thankful."

​

Thanks for reading.

Start paying more attention to the people around you, both friends and strangers. Make sure that you are genuinely listening. This can strengthen the relationships you already have and help you make new ones. It also makes it easier to notice if there are any needs/issues that that you could possibly be able to resolve.

Run every second day for 20-30 minutes

Put your phone/electronics/screens down 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime.

Not only does it eliminate most of the distractions keeping you up later than you should be - you’re avoiding blue lights which fuck with the QUALITY of your sleep.

This simple one’s been a game-changer for me!

Drink more water. Drink less soda.

Eliminate alcohol from your life.

READ! Whether online or in print... just read! Cheapest place to take a trip around the world 😁😎😉

drink more water, no fizzy drinks

Find faith in something greater than you.

Make eye contact and smile at strangers. Compliment a friend or coworker. Making others smile can absolutely make you feel better about yourself too.

Hydrate.

If you can, raise your 401(k) contribution.

Meditate for 2 mins every morning and then slowly increase that time

Sunscreen. Sorry, someone had to go there.

Show up.

Forgive your parents. It truly is the greatest way to relieve bottled up anger and move on with your life.

Debt cripples your future, so pay off credit cards, car loans and student loans as fast as possible. Forget about retirement savings until this is done. Then buy things with cash and live below your means.

Once they are all paid off, begin retirement savings heavily. At this point a mortgage should be your only debt and you should be aiming to pay that off early while saving as much as possible.

Yep. This is my plan as well

Don't drink. Control your anger. Don't be afraid to see a mental health professional id you need one.

Allow yourself to go through the pain that comes from doing what you have to do to get where you want to go.

Lighten the fuck up. It aint all that serious. You're doing just fine.

If you're a smoker, quit. Save a couple thousand a year, feel better, smell better, extend your life.

Stop blaming other people.

Clean your car if you have one. Reallllly clean your cars interior, remove the seats, vacuum the hell out of it, shampoo it, spray it down.. having a clean home is nice, but hoping into your car that smells and looks brand new does something to you.

Stop caring what other people think, and don’t worry about every little thing, you can’t control everything, so you might as well enjoy it

Work out. I’ve started lifting for the first time since by daughters were born and I feel so much better. You don’t even have to lift. Just go for a walk every day. Be more active. Your energy level increases almost immediately. Also, my pants fit much better now because I’ve lost weight as a result.

Its pretty dark, but its pretty simple: Realize you're going to die one day. Once you realize that, your mind hones in on the concept of Time X Value. Theres a reason people hit with incoming disease start the gym, spend more time with their children, or quit jobs they hate.

Charles Duggin's The Power of Habit goes deep into the power of having a crisis. Mortality forces you to seek value now instead of expecting it to happen "eventually." Don't put off your own life. Enjoy it while you have it.

this so much, sometimes I just stare at the wall and think about what the hell I'm doing with my life and why I'm still in this silly predicament I'm in, why am i not doing things I like instead? what the hell am I afraid of?

We all go through it I think. Your mind is wired for comfort and safety. It WILL strive for those things. It doesn't care about your need for fulfillment because it's trying to keep you and your body alive. It's one of the hardest things in the world to overcome that wiring and become the best self your survival instincts are incapable of imagining. Good luck yo

Sleep, get enough and get into a routine.

There is some American Admiral that says making your bed too because even if have a shitty day at least you accomplished something

Proper amount of sleep and not eating unhealthy foods.

Start a nice hobby you can always look forward to

Drink more water.

Watch david dobrik scotty sire and liza koshy. I was doing that like 2 minuets ago

Make your bed in the morning. Start your day off in a "get things done" mood.

Do a short excersize routine each day. I used to be a measly kid, skinnier and weaker than most of my classmates. I know this is kinda cheesy, but I started to do 10-15 minutes of working out every day (pushups, situps, etc) and now I’ve gotten a lot stronger and just generally more fit. I would also recommend cold showers (works wonders both in the morning and at night) and a consistent sleep schedule (go to bed and wake up at the exact same tine every day).

Wash yo ass

Live within your paycheck and don't compare yourself to others.

Sometimes people try to give their best / do their best for everything. Sometimes you have to realize that somethings don’t deserve it. Don’t over exert yourself. Pick a couple of things and give it your all.

Instead of just a to do list, I make a “done” list.

Seeing the accomplishments of the day written out helps me to keep going. No one reads my done list but me, but it’s makes me proud of myself.

Ex: Today’s done list includes- Paid utility bill Ate lunch outside and enjoyed the weather Finally finished X project Folded laundry

Simple but makes me feel accomplished and alive.

Put down the fork

Not eat in after 7 PM. It is great for weight loss.

Don't lie. And don't spread lies.

Just don't hit on women. 99% of the time they will see you as a creeper or not their type. So just smile, and move on.

Try to stay clean and organized. It’ll be really convenient in times, trust me.

Once a week, do something nice for yourself. It can be small like getting an ice cream, watching your favorite movie, anything. Just do something nice for yourself.

Learning skills, like a new language, how to work on your car, how to fix house hold electrical problems, locksmithing, how to best do finances . Just keep busy by learning something new all the time. I’m surprised by how many ppl around me don’t know how to fix a problem and instead just pays for someone else to do it. And you don’t have to go to college to learn stuff there’s the whole internet full of everything humanity knows .

Worry less

Laugh more. Watch something funny or go have a nice conversation with a friend or loved one and laugh about stupid shit you have done or might do. Its also a great ab workout.

Go outside and do nothing for 15min Which is breathing and looking or admiring the beauty of mother nature and be present.

Putting moisturizer or having a spa day or hour for yourself. Its always nice to take care of your self.

Sub to PewDiePie

Reduce their daily sugar intake.

Pray. I know there are people Here who don't believe, and I respect that . I never considered myself to be religious per se, But Definitely spiritual. I find that if I just take even one minute out of my day to pray, I feel calmer I don't feel so out of control, and even if I just say the words, " Help me, I don't understand", I feel like I have a little bit of help. To anyone who doesn't believe I respect that, and I hope that no one feels the need to try and discredit what I'm saying. It works for me.

Create a box like the money pig with achievements. You should add a note every day with what you achieved that day. It could be simply making someone smile or tell a good joke and made everybody laugh. Not only you will revise how your day was, but you will focus on the positive things that happened on each day.

After a quarter/year or whatever, open the box and read all the notes. It will bring smiles and a feeling of accomplishment.

Take a walk as often as you can. Enjoy nature while it's there. Recycle. Read.

My experience; get a pet. Different animals can help in different ways. From personal experience, my cat knew when I was sad and comforted me, greets me in the morning and when i return home with a meow that mimics a cheerful good morning (no idea how my cat became bilingual), and spends time with me when I'm on the couch. Animals are also known to help out people mentally. Animals can help reduce stress and help out when your sad or need a friend to lean on. It may be a little sad to see a loved one go, but then why not get another cat, dog, hamster, etc.? It'll help the animals in shelters find their forever home with you, and not be euthanized. Long story short; get a pet.

Stand in front f the mirror and say at least 5 good things about yourself every day.

Eat ass

Not violate the law

Be more aware while eating! People tend to just stuff food in their mouth and consume without thinking about it. Food is a wonderful thing and eating mindfully is a huge step towards eating healthy.

hygiene, its so simple and so effective

No-one receives enough affirmations or appreciation. Honestly affirm others wherever and whenever you can.

Be selectively ignorant.

Only allow information that is either relevant to your life or immediately actionable.

You don't have to finish reading that dull book. You don't have to force yourself to listen to that obscure news story.

Make their bed every morning.

Learn to stop giving a fuck about how people see you. You are you. Accept it and try your best to move on. If you need to tell a few people to fuck off on your way, do it. Better than you sitting on that negative comment for the rest of your life.

30-60 minutes of exercise everyday. From going out for a walk, to full-on benching in a gym. You'll feel amazing both physically and morally!

Stop existing. I’ve tried it and it works

Brewing beer.

If you struggle doing large tasks, break things into smaller parts. Writing out a list helps me to feel better about myself (and avoids the anxiety of not forgetting things)- when I complete the task I cross it off. Once I do a couple of things I usually start feeling energetic and do other smaller tasks. I recommend taking a short break inbetween (maybe 5 minutes, or a time of your choice but not too long). Feeling that sense of "hey I'm doing things" while not overwhelming yourself is a great idea for anything you do.

Waking up early in the morning.

Brush their teeth

Go outside, especially in areas with more nature. It’s amazingly restorative, and most of us don’t do it enough.

Help people. If you can volunteer, great. If not, then just basic stuff like helping a little old person carry groceries or being friendly while helping a coworker figure out a computer issue will still bring benefits. It helps them, but studies also show that people who help are happier.

Be basically nice. You don’t have to be fake, just be nice when you’re genuinely able to be and don’t be an asshole the rest of the time (unless you’re standing up for yourself, then be as much of an asshole as is needed). This is related to the previous point, but it also means reducing drama. Drama is draining and negatively distracting.

Take up a hobby that takes skill and/or talent, or that at least appears impressive to others. Music is probably one of the best to prove my point here, but my current hobby is crochet so I’ll use that as my example. I gave away a simple but pretty handmade baby blanket at a baby shower this past weekend and was overwhelmed by compliments, which felt good once I got past the blushing! It was great for my undersized ego, and it also felt good to be able give someone a thoughtful gift.

Edit: typos and autocorrects

I'm on the fence about having children one day (I'm 29) but if I ever had a kid and someone gifted me something like this, I would probably cry. That's a really nice, personal gesture.

Just try to be happy about something every day, even if it's something as small as having purchased a new bar of soap or hearing a good song on the way to work.

Wash their hands . Please wash your hands .

wash who's hands?

Be Batman

Do the best to keep the inside of your car clean and organized. Even if a car is old and crappy in some spots, taking care of the interior, vacuuming, cleaning up garbage, wiping stuff, shampoo the seats if you can. It can make the car just feel better, and it'll impress people. Just take it easy on the black ice air fresheners dear good.

Get a library card.

Help someone

Find Christ

Christ is taking this game of Hide and Seek a bit far don't you think? Considering "2 billion" of us have been trying to find him for 2000 years now. Best we've found is a stain on a wall. He's damn good at hiding I'll give him that. Wally wouldn't stand a chance against him. Big Foots old and complacent these days., gets sighted everywhere. Christ is without question the clear winner. ~ " Hide Master Champion" for 2019 consecutive years! It's gonna be a freakin HUGE Trophy!

{ that'll take some beating }

To answer your question, no, I don't think it's a game. More of a search for the Truth. Plato's allegory of the cave comes to mind. Once you've seen the light, and then attempt to explain to others that they've been looking at, and attempting to make sense of mere shadows for their whole lives people will think that you're crazy. People are much more content to rely on the "wisdom" they've gained from the appearance of things. But that wisdom in my opinion is based on a logical fallacy, the reasoning is circular.

That is the why I answered the OP the way that I did. Once you discover the Truth, you're free to drop all of the falsehoods that are force fed to us from birth and see things, life and people as they truly are. Which makes it a lot more tough for anything or anyone to steal your joy. Try as they might.

Ok. Wow. That was something. Shit... I haven't had a "full serving of truth" in a while, hmmmmmmm, I'm a bit lost for words to be honest....Ok, I reckon I'll stay with the "honest me" for this reply, as the (smart ass me) in my first reply to you , was conceited and arrogant. In the pursuit of ( trying) to be Clever&Funny I achieved the direct opposite in being dumb, and also bloody rude. I gotta hand it to you, you had every right to give me a (dressing down), but you instead chose to reply to me with a dignity and respect that,...sadly, I did not extend to you. I was a dick, and I'd like to apologise.

All that you wrote Is simply the truth. Its truth is evident in the fact that- it isn't trying to be something, nor is it proclaiming to be something, --- it just is. Freedom in truth. Available to anyone, anywhere, and at anytime, should they wish to be present to its power. It's consciousness. Thanks for taking the time that u did. ( I need to be straightened up from time to time😑) I myself do not believe in a God ( surprise surprise) however,... ( believe it or not) I know I am part of something that is light years beyond - anything as convenient as logic. My "knowing" is not based at all on what I have learned from teachings or culture or study. It comes from feeling. The gut. My place of 100% trust. It often takes ( guts) to trust the old gut feeling. It can be bloody scary at times, however, when ever I go with it, I learn a bit more about who I am. I grow. When ever I "don't" listen to it and instead surrender to the autocratic demands of the ( know it all) brain, I remain on the same stage,acting the same part, with the same people, in the same story.

Right, I best wind it up. Im guessing u are male?? If u are then you must be a bloody good dad to have, if youve got kids. Your mum and dad would be given themselves a bit of a pat on the back I would think!

All the best. J

Apology accepted, I appreciate you extending it, thank you. Your response gave me a chance to expound upon my initial comment....and practice patience. :)

Agreed, the Truth is inside each and everyone of us. Finding it, holding onto it, and moving ever closer to it is life. We all have our own way of going about that. I respect everyones journey.

Yes, male. And my dog appreciates my caregiving.

I have a question. When I say God, I am referring to the originator of all that is, was, or will ever be. When you say that you don't believe in "a God" are you saying that you don't believe that the power that all things originate from is conscience? Or is your meaning something else entirely?

I'll understand if you don't want to get down in the weeds on this topic, but I am curious to know.

No worries. Credit where credits due.👍🏼~~ I’m in the car right now heading to a job ( pulled over at the school dropping the kids off)- I will follow up your question when I get home later on, and “attempt” to explain my understanding of something I I’m only (really) just beginning to understand. To trust.

( I reckon we may be in very different time zones )

Adopt a black cat, especially from a kill shelter. They are the least To be adopted, and more likely to be euthanized. They black fur is actually a unique genetic mutation that makes them not have a pattern, rather, they are just black instead (if you are wondering what I mean, have you ever seen a black tabby cat?). This trait makes them special, and not many people know that. Also, black cats have a lot of personality. Although all cats are different, black cats are special and different in certain ways that make them amazing pets. I also have some personal experiences with my own cat, Shadow, who is my personal handsome fluff ball of darkness.

​

-They tend to be loyal, and tend to act differently when their favorite human is away. My parents are divorced and I switch the house I stay at every Friday. My cat is at may dads house, and my dad says that Shadow acts complacently different on the weeks I'm at my moms house. these cats tend to have the closest relationships with their owners.

-They are curios little fellas, and will want to get up high, explore, and stick their noses in everything. This trait can be troublesome, for they can get stuck in places, unintentionally destroy things, and be annoying. Trust me, it helps to have a spray bottle of "disciplinary water" nearby at all times. Once, Shadow found a hole in my dads mattress, and we had to spend about 20 minutes to get hi out. This was when he first got him a \~10 months ago, and hasn't done it since.

-They have amazing personalities! Each one is a wild card. Maybe you will get one who loves to snuggle up with you at night, or maybe one that loves to play, or maybe one that is annoying, yet you still love them. Shadow is a real gem, and I love him deeply. I got this two month old kitten in early June 2018, and I chose him B/C I wanted a black cat named Shadow, and the shelter I went to had a black cat named shadow! I'm so glad I got him, and we are perfect for each other. He plays fetch, goes absolutely crazy for feathers, likes catnip, and is very energetic. A small thing I love about him is that he tends to snore, and its adorable (look up cats snoring. It's one of the cutest sound you will ever hear). Every cat is going to be different, but black cats tend to stick out.

-Cats are usually portrayed as lazy, but black cats are shown to be the most playful and energetic! They love to explore, play, and run around the house randomly in a really cute way. They love to "hunt", and like to pounce on toys.

-They are actually considered to be good luck, to help love life, and be ideal wedding gifts in some parts of the world. It has also been found out that the gene that creates these living shadows give immunity to diseases, and the mutation that causes the dark coat effects the same gene that gives HIV immunity in humans!

-These cats tend to be shy, and will open themselves up slowly to strangers. When I first got shadow, he was mostly under the couch during the fist week. After then, he would follow me to whatever room I was in, showing he had a strong bond with me, and wanted to be around me, a human he felt extremely safe around. He doesn't really do it as much now (he i 1 year old), but he still loves me.

-They look good in any clothing for cats, as black truly does look good with everything.

​

Basically, you should adopt a black cat. They are greatly underappreciated, ad don't get the love they deserve.

When overcome with emotion or when something unexpected occurs, wait a day, or at least an hour to react.

Emotions can be intoxicating and acting without analysis is a bad thing

Declutter. Tidy up your house and remember, keeping order is easier and faster than restoring it. when your house is tidy, declutter your lifestyle, eliminate unproductive style and introduce more TRUE relax. Browsing internet and gaming ISN'T relax, it's mentally stressing, you just don't realize it. Only then you will be able to declutter your head and think more clearly.

Yeah, videogames are an active activity

So many people, past me included, don't realize it. I can't count the amount of times i said "i'll play a bit to relax myself". What you feel after playing isn't relax, it's just sense of achievement, since games are designed to give it to you.

How does a claptrap play videogames?

I can because i'm handsome, of course.

Pray.

Pray/Hope ones just more of a conscious effort to help align you thoughts this is underated.

Don’t spend all your free time behind a screen, go outside and live.

Stop playing video games and watching netflix

Nah I disagree, if I stop playing video games and watching Netflix I may as well give up listening to music and reading books since I can't "create" anything with them either.

I write quite a bit, and my writing has been influenced by many things: tv shows, movies, books, comics, video games etc etc. So by giving up video games I'd be giving up a source of inspiration. I mean I do get where you're coming from, like sure you can sink countless hours into mindless games such as fortnite or the like, but there's a vast array of great single player games out there with superb stories, both large and small, that rival even classic epics like LOTR in regards to size and scope (in my opinion).

I think video games are underappreciated as a story telling medium, and I wish the focus of new games would shift away from multiplayer dribble and back to the reason I started gaming in the first place. Coz in my eyes if something can be taken away from the experience and it sticks with you, then it wasn't a waste of time.

Exactly. I'm huge into reading books and I can't stand when fellow book people act like reading is somehow superior to tv, video games, or whatever else. Stories are stories.

What should I do then?

Idk. Go outside. Focus on your relationships. Pick up a hobby that you actually create something with.

I obviously hit a nerve with my post based on my score but this is coming from experience. I used to sink 2-6 hours on Xbox a day and since minimizing my play time I am actually much happier, in better shape, I’m getting married in ~50 days, and I’m learning to weld and play the guitar. I’m not passing a judgement on anyone, just offering my opinion on “what’s a simple thing someone can do to better their life”. Video games are addicting and as fun as it is to sink 1/3 of your time awake, possibly all of your free time into it, it will leave many unfulfilled in their real life.

I met my wife playing video games. We spend our free time playing. We're happy healthy people.

You hit a nerve because I'd assume most people don't have a video game addiction and don't have a problem playing in moderation, keeping fit and having healthy relationships. Of course your advice would be helpful to people who have that problem, but I would think to most people, especially women, it wouldn't. I think you're just in a subset or group of people that need whatever it is they do to look like it would have some actual meaning in a traditional sense or you feel like your life is going absolutely no where. I guess it's advice nonetheless and it shouldn't be getting downvoted.

The average “gamer” plays just over 2 hours per day. Women play about as much as men when you consider mobile games.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/07/11/its-not-just-young-men-everyones-playing-a-lot-more-video-games/?utm_term=.fb745374a1dd

That's more than a whole month out of someone's year spent playing video games, crazy

Even two hours a day of gaming ends up being an entire month at the end of the year.

Yeah, but the human body and mind need leisure time. You can't just spend every waking moment either exercising or being productive. Spending one month out of the year in leisure time sounds like shit, given that, in general, people spend roughly four months of that year working to make someone else more money than that person pays them.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding! Though, I would add a big fat caveat to your comment: everyone is different and any addictive behavior is problematic. Speaking for myself, I stopped playing video games years ago, and actually only started again on the advice of my therapist (helps me relax). I’ll agree that playing for hours on end is bad, but you could literally say the same thing for anything else.

Using the examples you cited, spending hours each day with your guitar could be a problem. Hell, even spending too much time with your spouse could be an issue (no one likes to feel smothered). I’m married, and me and my wife are very good about maintaining personal hobbies because not every waking moment needs to be spent playing kissy face and holding hands.

Now, if you’ll excuse me my PS4 hasn’t felt my warm embrace in a few weeks now...

Correct answer

Playing in moderation is very different than playing an average of 4 hours a day. It doesn't have to be a 1 or a 0.

Work will set you free

A man must have purpose

Arbeit macht frei

[deleted]

I’m not trying to criticize anyone

Yeah i agree. It think it happens with age though. I know very few people who still play video games into there late 20’s.

Eat healthy

Write down your goals baby

Clean your living space every day. Do you wanna spend ten minutes every day cleaning, or four hours every week or two and have to look at a disgusting mess that you've created?

Family First
Do not respond to negativity
Give without expecting a get
Be honest
Forgive first
Show gratitude
Stop complaining
More sleep
Eat healthier, hydrate
Spend time outdoors

Someone failed at formatting. I think double enter does it.

Call your parents and listen to how they are doing.

Add Tumeric to your diet.

You're going to have to justify that.

Google it or go on YouTube. A lot of the findings are that adding Tumeric to your diet has a ton of health benefits. You can add it to your meals or make a brew and add it to your drinks (like tea, ACV, etc) once or twice day.

All my Indians broz say yeeeeeeet

Put 666 at the end of their Reddit username

Disavow and actively resist any form of Marxism, Intersectionalism, or people who claim to be a victim of anything systemic (racism, sexism, etc.).

Without exception, such thinking lowers quality of life, happiness, and fulfillment.

What do you mean by "resist/ disavow people who claim to be vitims of sexism/ racism?" Why does that lead to happiness?

people who claim to be a victim of anything systemic (racism, sexism, etc.).

Context is everything.

CLEARLY I already understand the context. I'm not trying to argue, I'm genuinely curious as to why you think that this would promote happiness. Please explain.

This is reposted way too often

Please stop asking the same questions over and over again.

Or you could just keep scrolling, ignore it, and move on.

Do the things that scare you most first. Get out of your comfort zone. Learn new things, and others’ perspectives.

But also don't make an ideology out of this or be a dick about it.

Pray first thing in the morning, every morning.

I prefer my breakfast predator if I can help it.

May sound a bit cheesy but being nice to others and smiling more often. I've been trying to be a nicer person for a while and it does not only make the people around me happier but myself too!

Touch yourself every now and then definitely helps you calm down

Become a conservative

Genuine question. How would that make my life better?

Because it's built on a basis of things that have provably worked in the past... hence "conserve". It's fine to consider yourself a liberal, forward-thinking person, but if you find yourself stuck in a hard place then it's best to fall back on the fundamentals that are guaranteed to work.

The NHS here in the UK worked great until the conservatives came along though...

Real advice to improve your life: Stay out of retarded political arguments online and taking bait like that \^.

It says better

I am aware. That's why I said become a conservative

You spelled “idiot” wrong

Given that that's not the word I was spelling, I didn't.

Maybe a conservative in a liberal city. Conservative cities are 3rd world.

Never mind maps of San Francisco meant to help tourists avoid homeless people and human feces

Never mind that red states are all burdens on the treasury. Lowest education ranking, healthcare, happiness country wide. To top it off every red state their money makers are liberal cities. Truth hurts.

Burdens on the treasury

Like sanctuary cities and green energy? You do realize that the high taxes in blue states is deducted out of their citizens’ federal income taxes? How about the cost of living that results from those tax and welfare policies? Californians must be happy with their state if they’re moving to Texas, Arizona and Colorado in record numbers. Ever wonder why amazon was going to settle in NYC? Because of a tax break, but your darling socialist ruined it for everyone.

happiness

You’re saying that people who’ve been screaming about Russian cuh-loosh-un for the past two years are happier than anyone else? And let’s not forget about climate change, how we only have 12 years left and how American agriculture (#3 largest in the world) is destroying the planet.

green energy?

If green energy got as many subsidies as fossil fuels we would be getting paid to use electricity.

Yeah fleeing in masses that’s why the states population is growing. Moving to Texas? Ah yes the major liberal cities in Texas. Even Texas all the money is made in liberal cities.

The population is growing due to illegal immigration. In liberal cities? Maybe because state policy is conservative as opposed to leftist? If the Texas legislature wasn’t as red as it is there wouldn’t be anywhere near the economic growth as we have now

Oh bullshit Texas has oil and liberal cities making them money. Illegal immigrants in the country are at decade lows. If taxation were the issue Silicon Valley wouldn’t be a thing.

https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/middle-class-budget-San-Francisco-300-000-13741570.php

Oh fuck off 25k a year for food, 6k a year for kids toys, $800 a month car payment? Yeah real poverty there.

I'd rather keep my compassion thanks.

There is no compassion in being a liberal. You are correct

[deleted]

The political spectrum can be used to measure a lot of things, but I'm afraid intelligence isn't one of them. I'm afraid you'll need to find another way to assure yourself of how clever you are.

[deleted]

Is this a genuine question? Probably not. Understand I have no interest in an online pissing match over politics.

On the off chance it was a genuine inquiry, you may find this wiki entry enlightening: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_spectrum

Nah, conservatives are the shit

if you are rich and negligent to the well-being of other, perhaps

Bruh I'm in college I'm as far from rich as I could get rn. Market principles for life

Grow up kid

I am. We all are growing after all whether we want to or not, aren't we?

then how is your life any better by voting for trump?

Well I didn't vote for him since I was not 18 at the time, but the biggest reason a conservative would vote for Trump is to not have a full left wing majority in the Supreme Court. Having justices that rule on the law rather than create it is absolutely essential in my opinion. When they differ from their role, that's when we get rulings such as those in Roe v Wade, Obergefell, ect

You don't have a left wing in the US. You got center-right and right.

If passing bills which allow the killing of newborn children is center-right, I don't want to know what left looks like.

Sex education and easy access to birth control is what the left looks like. But less unwanted pregnancies and less STDs isn’t what conservatives want

But less unwanted pregnancies and less STDs isn’t what conservatives want

I'm conservative and this is definitely what I want. With what authority do you make the claim that this is not what conservatives want?

Who's passed a bill on killing newborns?

And left is that equality, liberty, fraternity, to each according to their needs folks.

Don't lie to the poor kids. Don't get me wrong: conservativism is absolutely the more honest and moral choice, but making the switch from liberalism will likely cost them most of their friends and leave them bitter with a deep hatred of the propagandists that had control over them.

Idk... I grew up in a liberal household and only became a conservative during my junior year. Haven't lost any friends from it. I mean of course if anyone is a jerk about politics and argues about it all the time people won't like them... But if you're cool about everything I don't think it costs anyone friends. And if it does, they honestly were never friends to begin with in my opinion

Start saving money, preferably in a high yield savings account

Stockbroker here, savings money yes but a savings account often isn’t going to grow nearly enough for people’s goals. I would say a better advice is to meet with a Financial. Consultant/Planner/Investment Advisor to actually think about what you want your money to do. Consultations are often free or low cost and can change the course of your life forever.

Advice for starting investing ? I bought the intelligent investor and its a great book, but 70% of the time I dont understand the numbers. Is there any book about the basics of this stuff ?

I can’t give advice but I’ll DM you with some resources. ^_^

Smile.

I don’t have depression so I don’t know how hard it is for those who suffer from it to do it, but whenever I’m feeling down, smiling really does help.

Wale up early. If your typical day starts at 8am then wake up at 5am. Get some small chores done, pay bills, exercise, etc.

Listen to the speech by Navy Seal, about the importance or waking of early and making your bed.

Keep. Your. Posture. In. Mind. When you’re standing up. Raise up those shoulders!

After a while, they’ll straighten up naturally and you’ll avoid pain as early as your late 10’s early 20’s. You’ll also look way better and confident.

Accept and apply the "it is what it is" statement to things that happen in life

Yoga, as a guy people will look at you like you're crazy for doing it, but it is awesome. You have to concentrate on doing to poses so your mind gets taken off everything else. Best way to end a stressful day.

Breathe

Stop smoking meth

Go for a walk on a nature trail or whatever floats your boat trail. Just go for a walk!

Stop watching porn

Not asking this question for thousandth time

dRiNK WaTeR

Don't have children before 25.

Get off Reddit

Stop watching porn.

This again?

Make your bed!

Eat ass

Start meditating

Deinstall Reddit

Close this app.

Plant a vegetable garden and some fruit trees

Give it to God.

His plan is always better than yours, and He has your best interest in mind. He knows you better than you know yourself. There is freedom in surrender.

Ignore pewdiepie

Go meatless. For the planet, for the animals, and for yourself! You won’t regret it.

Excellent idea! Good for every living thing on the planet

How can you feel bad about yourself when you’re doing something that decreases the bad in the world? Especially for creatures that don’t have a voice.

hush hush , stoooopid

There’s nothing I’ve regretted less in my life. I regret that I didn’t do it sooner. In general, that’s the consensus for those who stop consuming animal products.

Don’t be like Donald Trump

Subscribe to pewdiepie

Masturbate

Masturbation really isn’t good for you and addiction can ruin you mentally.

Make Jordan Peterson‘s bed

Best comment I've seen on this

Stop masturbating. I'm not joking. /r/nofap

People who downvote this can dm me if they need help. I'm happy to help them overcome their addiction.

Not everyone who masturbates is addicted

Although addicted people often say that they're not I have to agree with you and apologize. That statement of mine was exaggerated to make my point clearer.

Then stop for a month to prove it.

Give a reason?

It changed my life for the better. It's like getting freed from an addiction. Trust me. I cannot describe it, you have to experience it. I haven't fapped in over a year. And I feel perfect. Better than ever before. I felt more motivated to do everything. Finally started studying and working out. I am no more social weirdo. That is what i experienced. Maybe it's just the feeling of getting free from an addiction. Maybe it is the song straight of the hormones. You can ask other people that don't masturbate anymore. They can confirm what I just wrote. Why not give it a try? If you are really serious with your question and don't wanna just troll, then feel free to dm me. I will answer any further questions you might have.

Or just continue masturbating. I'm not gonna stop you.

But will you watch me?

i already have

God fucking damn it when will these "can do to better thair life"stop

Join the marines😉

10 minutes of meditation a day keeps bad thoughts at bay

wake up every morning and stretch, its such a satisfying sensation

Go to sleep at a reasonable time and don't under/oversleep

Add competition in your life. Even non-sporty people can do it: my way of doing is by playing World of Warcraft and climbing the rankings.

make someone happy.

​

Get in shape.

Get a good mattress. When you sleep better life changes in so many ways. More focus at work. Easier time waking up on time, more energy to exercise which in turns makes you sleep better and have more energy to do stuff. Also, science has proven even people who think they like soft beds sleep better on medium to firm.

do something everyday that will make you a better person the next. seriously.

Take epsom salt baths. Drink kale pineapple smoothies. Make appreciation lists.

A little exercise every day

Being nice to others, it's simple you get what you give.

Prepping everything the night before. This includes packing your lunch, setting out breakfast (in the fridge is okay), prepping your coffee pot (even if it’s just putting your mug near it), laying out your clothes (this one is key), packing your bag for work, and tidying up. This takes me about 10 minutes every night. I got these habits from my parents and they make the start of my day so much easier.

Maintain a healthy weight.

Take responsibility for yourself and what happens to you.

Eat oatmeal for breakfast every day

Tell those you love that you love them, before you lose them. ❤️

Washing their face, seriously, it's refreshing every morning

Attitude of Gratitude. Journal one thing each day you are grateful for. It can change your life.

Donate! Whether it be time, money, blood, secondhand clothes, a shoulder to lean on. Not only does it better someone else but the feeling you get when you know you have helped someone is second to none.

Spend less time with people who drain your energy, more time with people who charge it.

Make sitting and standing posture a life focus.

Meditate.

get off reddit and other things you wanna do. focus on work for a bit, my procrastinating/ADHD niBBas

Floss

less time on the phone

Shower

set aside around 10 minutes in the morning and run/walk for a mile before you go to work/school. Doesn’t seem like it would do much, but after it becomes a habit, it’s great for clearing your mind, waking up, or even just getting some cardio in.

Take naps. A lot of them. They help you forget about your problems for a while

Stop making excuses.

Exercise and stay active.

Spend 10 minutes on a foam roller and stretch real well while your coffee is brewing first thing in the morning. Your back will feel great and you’ll soon begin to anticipate the routine once you wake up.

Wash your sheets and make your bed.

mewing for sure ( tongue posture)

Think more positive

Save money

I hate when people ask for something and don't say please or afterwards thank you. When someone says that I always makes me feel better.

People can start off by making their bed in the morning.

Get a savings account at a credit union, somewhere separated from your regular bank. Transfer money in each paycheck and throw away the debit card when it arrives in the mail.

Self reflection

Go for a walk whilst listening to a podcast (and not looking at your phone).

You learn whilst you take care of your health!

Spend less than you make, consistently.

If you have room for some raised beds or even a set if small containers, start a garden. Lots of people like veggies, but I'd recommend flowers - they're really fun.

Use reddit, sub to pewds, upvote good posts

Honestly, not hold a grudge. This is said a lot but said a lot for a reason. Your life will be so much easier.

If an errand or lunch is < 1/4 mile away, walk there people. Don't drive.

Grow vegetables and pot, bake your own bread.

Give up an hour of TV or games per day and go take a walk. You can listen to podcasts for entertainment/learning, you'll get some exercise, and have less screen time. All good things.

Fart really hard. Just let one fucking rip like there’s no tomorrow.

Invite a friend to do an errand with you. Not anything big, just 'hey I was going to run to Target. Want to come?'

Try it sometime, it's fun!

Ask reddit what's a simple thing someone can do to better their life.

This is a FAQ. Karma bait.

Take responsibility for themselves.

Nut and shit

I know exactly what, but I ain’t telling you shit!

DONATE BLOOD.

you're really bettering someone else's life, but for me that makes me happy!

Take a breather before responding to anything you instantly want to rage over first.

Over time, you'll realize what's important when what's not.

Train your mind to see the good in people instead of the negative. My manager once said to me "You're only as good as the conversation I have about you in my head."

Stop paying for cable.

Go for a walk every day

Meditate for 15 min 2x a day.

Sleep at the right hours. Don't stay until 1AM to watch Netflix, you can do that tomorrow too. Just go to sleep at 10-11 and you'll see that you'll be happier and more productive.

Let shit go.

Others

I would say dress nice. Find a style you like and stick with it. It has actually made me happier and boosted my confidence

Be nice. When someone argues with you, don't yell and call names back at them, but act respectful.

Open up to others

How do you personally define what it means to have a better life than the one you have now? What makes you feel dissatisfied/ what makes you feel like it's not enough? Thought these few questions might be an excellent starting point to thinking about answering some additional questions that are relevant to your search for answers.

If you've got a desk job, get up and move every hour. Stop melting into the chair and move your body.

Don't argue with people on the internet

Floss.

And wear sunscreen.

learn self defence

Observe and respect their surroundings. Personal space is a thing and ignorance to spatial awareness is not cool. Furthermore, ignorance to the basic rights and needs of others fit in here as well.

Tell yourself "I love you, and I am here for you no matter what" every single day, even if you don't believe it.

Just take 10 mins to sit and be. Do nothing it's Okay

Quit Facebook. Doing so has been a revelation to me. It's so actively bad for mental health, as shown by multiple studies, and I really feel so much better without it

Adopt a pet. You'll change their life and they'll change yours.

Do things for others. Volunteer,be there as a friend, help a neighbor... Do a chore for someone else in your household,

Smiling more. Just slightly smile (lips closed) through out the entire day both in and out conversations will make you happier and everyone will treat you 100% better. On days I'm doing this, women will start flirting with me if I'm anywhere in their proximity. If I'm not smiling, I'm invisible. It takes almost zero effort with just a slight conscious reminder to do.

​

Put yourself into the opposing parties shoes

Try to be happy which is most of us fail to do

If someone says something to you that seems confusing or hurtful, ask for clarification before you assume the worst. Many friendships are unnecessarily damaged or lost over simple misunderstandings.

Exercise.

Eat well.

Sleep well.

Stay hydrated.

Drink lots of Water.. Keep hydrated

You can’t just steal a popular post from r/AskReddit and say it differently.

Take accountability for their life. When you fuck to, own it. If you have a goal, go for it. Just always remember it is your life and it is up to you to make your dreams your reality

Learn how to relax, all the stress gets accumulated in the shoulder area and jaws, learn how to relax and every day will feel lighter, your head won't hurt so much, days will feel like a breeze!

Stop worrying about what others might think about you. It doesn't matter.

Stop stressing over the things that are beyond your control.

Go on a bike ride. Makes me feel like a kid.

Drink water

Drawing idk

Eat better. Food is supposed to make you feel fueled up. It's not supposed to make you tired and feel like a food coma is coming on. Indulging and eating junk food a few times a month is no big deal. But don't make it a habit!

Trust one person more. Quality exceeds quantity

Open up a window and let in some sun and some HIGH QUALITY AIR... dont do this if it's in the winter tho... kinda self explanatory. Or just sit outside, your choice.

Less reddit.

I do all the things in this thread but really, sometimes also: therapy. Because water and sunlight sometimes isn't enough and that's okay.

Read the Bible. Or anything that is not a pop novel.

Jog

Start (extremely) small. Be consistent. This is how to start good habits and tackle goals that seem unachievable. It helped me change my way of thinking and get over the crushing feeling of “not being good enough”.

Big morning routine - would get dejected when I couldn’t, or wasn’t in the mood, to do them all. Now, I just do what I can to the degree I can. But I don’t do nothing.

Now, even on bad days, I can do more than I could on previous good days. Not where I want to be, but it’s helped me stay on my journey to improvement.

“Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, Life is hard.”

Just try to eat healthier and do set a small goal to do with exercise for the day such as x amount of sit-ups, another simple thing is to meditate or leave time for a hobby and in that time that is your should focus.

Being able to channel their emotions in a more peaceful way

Unfriend 90% of their Facebook and Instagram “friends”.

Stop Going To Church

Give yourself time to breathe from time to time. We constantly fill every gap of our day moving. Give yourself time to think about what's worth appreciating.

Eat healthier

Save more money. It’s a lot easier than it seems. Round up your purchases (if you spend $4.92, round it up to $5 and save that extra 8 cents. Apps like digit I think are great for it), set aside a percentage of your paycheck to go into savings (treat it like a bill) and/or save all of your spare change. I was a waitress for awhile and I didn’t get much change in tips, but I saved it anyway and then turned it in every 2-3 months. I had over $150 in change in total that I turned in, and that’s not including the 10 percent that the coin star machine took because I was too lazy to roll it and turn it into my bank lol. It adds up quick and is sooo important!

If you are in a relationship, have more sex.

Sleep, exercise and a healthy diet.

start today

Get up early and do yoga.

Improve your posture

I would honestly just say to drink ice cold water throughout the day. so simple but benefits are numerous for sure

Finding their goal, their purpose of their life

Edit : Goal and purpose being the same thing here

Join a local civic organization and volunteer time with them. You’ll make friends and help your community.

Moisturise. Ever since I started doing it, my skin has been amazing and it's made me so much more confident

Eat better. You know you can.

Also, OP said simple, not easy. Eating right consistently is hard af

Don’t assign a struggle as your identity

Sleep and eating healthy food. Drinking enough water. Walk a little bit. You do those things and I can guarantee you’ll feel at least a little better. Kind of bland and boring but it’s healthy.

Do good things for others. Doesn’t have to be big. If you see a post where the OP is feeling negative, send them a DM saying something along the lines of “hey, i hope you have a wonderful day and an even better year!” It’ll make you feel better about yourself and help cheer up other people.

You don’t get to choose what happens to you but you do get to choose how you feel about it

Don’t nickel and dime. You can justify yourself out of a fortune.

Get a sunrise alarm clock. It seems to have more or less fixed my sleep schedule, between using the sunset simulation to fall asleep almost instantly to using the sunrise simulation to wake super easily with no grogginess

Mediation. Focusing on your breath (or mantra) for 20 minutes will change your perspective and life more than you'd think.

Breathe deep and drink more water.

Meditate

Dedicated

Get good.

Just be nicer to strangers and people in general. You never know what kind of day someone is having and something like a simple smile or “hello” can really make a difference.

Do good deeds without expecting something in return; it might come back to thank you.

I try to do things selflessly when i can; the other day i went to buy a couple slices of pizza and the owner slipped me 2 extra slices for free without even mentioning it; best surprise i got all year.

Drink more water instead of sodas.

Try and find the people who help raise you up, instead of silently (or not so silently) putting you down

Isnt this question asked every hour

Meditate

Avoid toxic people

read, constantly. AB~~C~~L - always be learning! learn something new everyday. buy a couple books with concepts that you're unfamiliar with, talk to people who are experts on various subjects and ask them questions, and go down any other avenue of learning you can find.

Take some time to read. Fiction is always nice but some non-fiction can give you new perspectives and information. Audiobooks are a great option if you’re always on the move

Stop making excuses for yourself. Once you hold yourself accountable for your mistakes, you realize how much you can change to get yourself where you want to go

Journaling. It creates an outlet for the random thoughts in your head, improves writing ability, and promotes a healthy habit.

Spend less time watching TV and on social media and more time making real friends.

Walk more. It is good for the body, but specially for the mind.

Fix your posture

Start playing music, learn more traditions and travel on world

Get enough sleep and wake up at the same time every day. Believe me.

Quit reddit and other social media.

Note, I know it's true, but I can't do it myself. :-(

Drink plenty of water

Be as kind to other people as you want them to be to you.

Not comparing your life to others around you who you think have it better.

Read.

Laugh. Just find a got damn way to laugh daily.

Genuinely of course.

Learn to do things you like even if they seems to have no purpose.

Exercise. For me it greatly benefits my mental health more so than my physical health. Just doing something small every day helps.

DRINK MORE WATER!

Hold yourself accountable and don’t make excuses for yourself. I always liked the quote, “change your habits to meet your goals, don’t change your goals to fit your habits”.

For me, health and body image was always written off as “I’ll get to it later”. When I finally started really looking at my eating and fitness objectively I was blown away at how many bad habits I have developed.

Love your life

Exercise and meditation.

Shower every morning. It jump starts my day even if I’m not in too good of a mood.

Smoke a joint sometime.

Breathe

Pet a dog. ... or a cat. ... or a mouse.

Point is, pet something!

Get a tooth cleaning at the dentist.

parking a car

Meditate.

Keeping a clean living space.

Go for long walks

Stop going on Reddit.

Take a few minutes a day to deep breath. Closing your eyes and breathing helps release anxiety and helps you relax.

Think before talking

find some breathing meditations and use them to even yourself out in times of stress, and use them to build a more even life as often as you feel

Make active decisions about theyr food.

Buy a bike!

Be emotionally intelligent.

Make the effort to go out and talk to people. You never know who you're going to meet, the friends you'll make, or the opportunities you'll have. Plus you get to learn about things you never knew before, and possibly get new outlooks on life!

Meditation and be greatful to God all the things that happen every single day.

Learn how to improve your daily meals. It's amazing the automatic smile that comes for a delicious food you made.

Be grateful.

Drink the daily recommended amount of water, trust me it helps your brain

Log off Reddit

Masturbate. But not at work. Just at home in privacy.

Take the few minutes to actually floss and brush your teeth! Older you will greatly appreciate it, as will your wallet.

Make your bed in the morning. It makes you feel like you're off to a productive start and nothing beats coming home to organized space.

Keep your bedroom clean and make your bed in the morning. I've only recently been good about keeping up on this, but it tends to make me more organized in general. Also, getting into bed at night is much nicer when the bed has been made.

Eat three times a day and not snack. I've lost 15 lbs doing that this past month. Read Obesity code for more info.

Drink more water

Stretch. Like seriously, before every night you go to bed, just stretch for about two mins. Does wonders for your body.

Keep your hygiene up it really helps how people act towards you

Pick a hobby. Woodworking, sewing, drawing, something. Finishing a project is an awesome feeling and drives me to the next. They ain't always pretty, but I made that and I'm learning everytime.

Also, there are communities on reddit that are supportive and happy to advise newcomers

Vote Democrat.

just make one better choice a day. do you feel guilty for ordering out all the time? don’t add the crab rangoon. are you addicted to soda? promise yourself to drink a glass of water. need to clean your house? just tell yourself 10 minutes right when you get home from work. it’ll add up and eventually you might decide to do two or three different things a day!

Be mindful

Stop whining on r/2meirl4meirl and actually do something for once

Just smile, it will help. Trust me

If you’re feeling out of sorts and can’t get out of it on your own, reach out to a friend or anyone who is going through a hard time and be there for them. Not only will that get you out of your head but it will help to see that you aren’t alone and struggling and will help them.

Limit the fucks you give to things that are fuckworthy.

Thanking the Bus Driver

Take a step back and look at your friend-circle. Are they doing you good? Do they stand by your side when needed? If not, don't waste energy on them. Focus on those who give you something positive in return. A lot of people, that i know, seem to struggle with this, and this might be one of the reasons so many feel lonely/left out.

I even had the same issue, but after i started to notice these patterns of bad excuses and broken promises, i have finally found those who actually are important to me. And of course, give back. You never know if someone close to you struggle with the same issue. :)

Learn an instrument. You don't even have to be "good" at it. Many people start off on instruments like guitar, piano, and drums, since each note has a single key/ spot to hit, they are easier to learn.

It also helps to enroll yourself into a course or join a group. I'm 1st chair in the school band so I play daily.

Simple exercise and a better diet.

  • meditate daily

  • drink sufficient water, and make sure at least some of it is alkaline

  • master something

  • practice articulating your emotions, especially to people you love

  • listen to stuff like this

Stop procrastinating so much. I always say if it takes you less than 5 minutes to do, do it now. You’ll be surprised how much you get done in one day.

Go outside. Fresh air can make a huge difference.

One small chore around your house a day.

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Clear a surface

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Give your stove a wipe

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Wipe you bathroom counter

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Vacuum your floor

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Clean the expired food out of your fridge

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Anything small will add up fast, and make you feel better when you decide to relax.

not sabotage it

Treat everyone with respect

Go to sleep earlier.

meditate for just 10 minutes every day. it’s eliminated nearly all of my anxiety. I might still occasionally get overwhelmed in social situations, but I definitely learned how to live in the present moment and not let my fear of tomorrow cripple me

For all you college students out there. You’ll know what you actually like based off your grades. I thought I wanted to be an engineer and I had an A in all related courses. But was struggling and in some cases failed math and science. I switched to criminal justice and political science as a double major and have had straight A’s in every course. I love college now and have made a tone of friends. You may think you like something but don’t be afraid to branch out, you may find something you like even more.

Listen to some Willie Nelson.

Fuck your evil username.

Sleep. Hobbies. More water. Get a dashcam. Exercise.

Getting 8 hours of sleep and a daily vitamin. I cannot express how much more energy I have and how much my mood has improved simply by getting good sleep and making sure I am getting enough vitamin D every day.

Budget your expenses, start a savings account. Do anything to become more financially savvy.

Tidy up everyday. Put your clothes in the hamper, put the dishes in the dishwasher or wash them after you are done, throw out your trash, make your bed, if something is dusty or dirty; clean it when you see it.

Put away the phone at dinner...especially if your on a date or with family

Write a meal plan. It doesn’t have to be a fancy diet, just plan your week and do groceries based on that list and stick to the list.

Start asking "is this something I will be grateful to myself for doing?" Doing small things like that add up a lot. Clean your place, you might not like doing it but you future self will be very thankful. Eat well, exercise. Go to bed on time. Manage your money. Take care of your relationships. It won't make you a superstar but your stress levels will melt away.

Take responsibility for their actions, and stop blaming everything on everyone/everything else.

Realize that some things are out of our control, and that sometimes we just fuck up, and that’s ok.

Easy would have been a better word. Simple? Save money, work out, etc

Be incredibly wealthy.

Save money. Even if it's only $20.00 a paycheck, save it and don't touch it. Next step: Invest money. Once your savings is up to $1000, 5,000, 10,000, Even if you only put it into "safe" things like CDs and bonds, invest it. Future you will thank you.

Make their beds in the morning.

Meditate!

Be active. Since I've signed up to the gym, I enjoy my weekends are so much more because I don't just sit at home all day studying, "relaxing" and sleeping, but I also get out and actually "do something. Afterwards I always feel less stressed and sleep better. Oftentimes I dont want to leave the gym after my courses because I am so motivated, even though I didn't want to come at first. Plus being active adds to my confidence and, obviously, my health.

Stop reading reddit. Try it for a week.

Think about good things that you experienced everyday. Sometimes this can be incredibly hard, but ever since I started doing this, I’ve been significantly happier.

Listen to music

Read

Learn to love yourself and stop underestimating yourself.

Role models are overrated. Be your own.

Install the Forest app to motivate yourself to study.

Get outside more often, especially if you work indoors all day. Itll make you both happier and healthier

Drink more water

Learn to cook

Learn to say no without feeling the need to explain your decision.

Learn how to diagnose car problems. Don’t have to learn to fix them - just have a better understanding of cause and effect. This will also help you save money with mechanics.

Yoga

Don't watch porn ..simple but hard to do

Stop using animal products.

Travel.

Do more of what gives you spark. It keeps the balance in check.

Learn to cook.

Look at the horizon when you have to walk

Listen.

Meditation. If you have time to breathe, you have time to meditate.

Spend less time time on reddit and go out enjoy the real world.

Swap one snack per day for fruit.

Be the happy person in the room. If other people are complaining point out the positives.

Make better choices with nutrition. Try oatmeal and fruit in the morning rather than a breakfast sandwich.

Shower regularly, trim your nails, shave or clean up your facial hair.

Keep yourself feeling proud of how you present yourself.

Get a little green house and do some gardening. Love it.

Take out the garbage

Excercise, even if it's only for 10 minutes.

Imma lose Karma for this, but consider Christianity, or reconsider it, honestly from the heart, to me it isn't something I consider hard, I do think this may be off topic though

healthy eating

Learn from your mistakes.

Stop smoking.

Get up early everyday not the days you have to. I just started getting up at 7:00am everyday Monday to Sunday. It gives me so much more time to do things. I also like being up early before the hustle and bustle of it all.

Make your bed!

Stop worrying about and trying to control others’ opinions of you and enjoy your life.

chum is fum!

die

Go to the cinema at least once a month. Why? You'd be amazed how good you'll feel instead of just sitting at home watching Netflix.

Stretch for 5 minutes right after getting out of bed.

Stretch.

I like to wake up one hour before I need to get ready for the day. During that time, I just piddle around, do a bit of grooming, grab a notebook and write out my goals for the day (things I need to do, and things I want to do).

Wear sunscreen.

Spend a few hours every week or two listening to your thoughts and feelings, instead of acting on them.

Start writing.

If you have anxiety or have too many thoughts flooding your head, just take a moment to sit down and write all your thoughts out in a notebook.

Just carry a small notebook in your back pocket and a pen all the time.

Pro's tip: never tell anyone you have a pen on you.

Quit smoking.

Buy ALL of Comcast’s services

Clean their room.

Try and get outside for some fresh air at least every 4 hours during the day. Even if you work in an office, pretend you smoke so that you can take a "cigarette" break and go feel the sun on your face for a couple of minutes. It will make you feel so much better, and it's good for you to stretch your legs and rest your eyes a bit instead of staring at the computer screen non-stop.

Vote against net neutrality.

Repeat a successful question from not long ago on askreddit.

Start meditating.

Workout Get plenty of sleep Meditate Eat healthy foods

Get rid of your debts. Nothing better than no one owning you

Take five minutes in the morning to meditate and place yourself into a positive frame of mind

eat well.

If you have a task that needs done, do it now. Don't put it off till later.

Stop worrying about stuff

Take your dog for a walk. You get exercise , the dog gets exercise plus loves you more.

Get up early. Exercise. Eat right. Take care of yourself. Reduce screen time. Read. Get sufficient sleep.

Drink more water, and exercise for twenty minutes a day,

Accept that you are not entitled to anything and that no one owes you anything.

No fap

Go to sleep and wake up at a consistent time all seven days of the week. Doesn't matter too much the time as long as you get at least six hours of sleep (preferably eight hours).

Practice mindfulness.

Drink more water. Change your skin, your hair, and your over all health. Get that H2O my dudes!

Be kind.

Remember that everyone is just trying to be happy. They may not know how to go about it or may be trying to do it in ways that don't make sense to you or may be acting self-destructively out of despair of not succeeding in making themselves happy, but that is the underlying motivation for what we all are doing most of the time.

Even seemingly (and actual) malicious acts are done from this motivation, and while that doesn't mean they shouldn't have repercussions, it does provide a pathway for us to understand and create a little softness in our hearts.

Relax. Stress is a major cause of depression and just finding little activities to relax yourself can help a lot. The amount of people who have been depressed has risen. Why? Because humans weren’t meant to be under the stresses of modern day. If you just relax a little it can make you more stress free.

Stop smoking and do not use drugs

Win the lottery

Clean your room.

Be a little nicer to people.

We’re all going through some shit here - we could all use a little more kindness in this world.

Brush teeth and put on pajamas way before bedtime. Then when you get sleepy there's nothing left to do but lie down and doze off.

Step away from substance abuse

Eat ice cream

[deleted]

Easier said the done lol

Improve your posture; I’ll catch up with you.

Walk properly; done fall forward foot to foot, clench dat ass and push off foot to foot

Take care of your teeth hardcore; the mouth is the entry point for disease and I’ll catch up to you

Learn to be more mindful

Do something good for someone else. We are hardwired to get off of doing good. It makes us feel good. So even if you just gives a dollar to a stranger you feel better.

Clean. It's amazing what it can do for your state of mind.

Getting up early. I can't believe how nice it was when I started doing this. Productivity super increased. In the evening, I feel so much more relaxed and have more time to spend with people or doing something fun.

Be polite. Yes sir, to the kid bagging groceries, thank you ma'am to your waitress. Making good manners a habit reflects so well on you in so many situations.

yeah... i aint doing any of this. see you fuckboys later

Exercise & meditation.

A strong body leads to a relaxed mind, make your body better at being a body & your mind will follow.

A bit of yoga & meditation after waking up & before bed’s really helped me stay centered and generally feel better about everything. I feel like I feel more rested with the same amount of sleep, I can work for longer stretches of time and my back hurts multitudes less.

Try it everyday for a month and you’re pretty much guaranteed to feel better about generally everything.

Stop eating so much god damned sugar.

This. It’s as bad for your body as alcohol and way more addicting. Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease is no joke.

Best thing I ever did was significantly cut back on the amount of processed carbohydrates I consume.

Learn how to cook.

Filter your interactions. You are not obligated to fill your schedule and mind with everyone's business, god knows you already have much on your own plate, so try to adopt one simple, life-changing mindset: "Not my fucking problem"

Smoke dmt

Find a hobby or do something fun like save some money to go out and have a trip once in a while

Think whenever you do something:"What would my future self think." Usually your future self would be mad or stressed or tired if you don't do something now.

Stop eating bullshit that you KNOW is bad for you. Put down that bottle of empty calories and sugar. Stop filling your body with crap. Within a week you'll feel better. Im 6'2" and 400lbs. I spent my life eating shit that was horrible for me. Ive finally found a diet that I can stick with. Two weeks in and I feel fantastic.

Eat two squares of dark chocolate, the nutrients of cacao without as much sugar or dairy! I've always seem to feel better

Clean living, eat clean food, and have a clean living space and you will feel better.

Definitely get a hobby. Preferably one that doesn't involve money or food.

You'd be surprised how many hobbies you have that don't involve money

Flowers in your home. Letting light into your home in the morning. Make your bed. This gives you a better start, and most of the days that have a good start turn out to be an overall good day.

When I was 14 a guy friend of mine complimented my shirt. I immediately deflected the compliment by assuring him that it, "wasn't that expensive and was an old shirt." He looked right at me and said, "if you make giving you a compliment a chore, people will stop giving them. Just say thank you." From that moment on, when I get a compliment I look the person in the eyes and say, "thank you so much!"

I realized that people feel good giving compliments, and if you don't receive it well, it doesn't feel as good for them either and takes away from what they were trying to do.

Just say thank you!

5 minute rule. If it can be done in 5 minutes or less, do it now instead of later.

Meditate. It's not an act, it's a quality. It's not sitting there with your fingers touching going oooommmmmm, it is this here and now.

Join a beer league softball team. You can be the shittiest dumbest player but people will still make you feel great just by showing a bit of hussle to first base. It's a great confidence booster.

Make coffee at their house

I think if you have spare money laying around with nothing better to do, put it in a safe dividend paying stock, where you can just sit on it and it'll churn out some dividends every month or quarter. I like AGNC. You won't get rich but mentally it feels good to me to watch a little effortless money trickle into my stock account every month.

Make your bed.

I really only realised the value of this after I did some time in jail/prison. You HAVE to make your bed, by a certain time every day. The habbit continued after I got out (2 yrs in september!).

Even when your days been shit, coming home to a nicely made and inviting bed helps to make it a bit better and is like a re-set button for the next day.

Be grateful for everything, every little thing. Seriously.
Do you have home? Do you have food? Be grateful. Not because other people maybe don't have these things, no. Just being grateful makes you much more positive. Even if the first time you don't think it seriously "I'm mean, this is just food". But with time, when you always say "thank you" or "i'm grateful for this, this and this" actually, the feeling become real.

Roast vegetables

Stop eating fast food. and laying off the alcohol.

Stop asking the same 3 questions on this subreddit

Depends on the person, but I've found that consciously trying to remind myself that I can't always have control has been a generally positive thing in my life.

Also, breathing and reading. Some simple breathing exercises (Oak is a great app for starting) and a really great book do wonders for your wellbeing.

Use Facebook only for inquiries into local/small businesses.

Walk

Get something to care for. An animal or a plant. If you live alone it’s nice to be have something, however small it may be.

Be nice. Be compassionate.

Exercise. Ideally everyday for at least half an hour of running, weight lifting, even yoga or going for a walk. Just a bit of daily exercise can go so far.

eat an apple a day

Stop watching porn.

Make one small change a week. It can be as tiny as wearing different shoes or eating a new snack. Humans are such creatures of habit, that even a tiny change can lead to a chain reaction of positive changes. You’re basically teaching yourself that changes don’t have to be scary. At the very least, it’ll just break some of the monotony of your routine.

Try to love all of humanity. EZ PZ.

Go to sleep at 8.

Walk a mile a day.

Reading books and questioning everything

Wake up earlier, even if you already do, on weekends, wake up earlier. It feels like you have way more time in the day

Sleep more

Meditate daily.

Do 10 push-ups and 20 sit-ups every morning.

Do this every day you'll feel better & be ready for the day by the time you're done. It's good for your mental health, commute & physical health.

Simple (not necessarily easy) things that can be added to everyday life:

  1. Drink 3 litres of water everyday

  2. Walk for 30-60 mins at a brisk pace (5-6 km/hour) as against working out, while commuting to work/school

  3. Eat breakfast - even a banana or apple will do the trick. Avoid eating close to bed time.

  4. Cut down on added sugar - avoid soda, packaged goods etc

  5. Sleep 7+ hours

  6. Start reading - read just a few pages a day to begin with or use audiobooks etc

  7. Call a friend or family member every once in a while, weekly or so

  8. Use Thank you, Sorry, and Please in daily conversations as appropriate

  9. Start a savings account and add a small amount daily/weekly/monthly as per your income situation

  10. Always interview for new opportunities even if you are not looking for a new job

Will add more later.

Make your bed every morning no matter what. Sets the tone for the day and you have a nicely made bed to come home to.

Life financially within your means. Just because you "can" afford it, doesn't mean you should buy it. Avoid any kind of debt if possible, especially credit card debt / payment plans. This helps you stay ahead of your finances and not deadlocked in paying interest indefinitely. We live in such a culture (in the USA at least) that if we can afford it it's just the cultural norm that we should buy it. Obviously, home/auto/school loans are notable exceptions of debts you should try to avoid, but still relevant.

Reflective flossing

Wake up early and spend at least 30 minutes caffeinating/acclimating to the day.

It's like starting your day on offense instead of defense and I wish I had figured this out much earlier in my life.

Floss.

Cut out people who don't put in an effort in a friendship or relationship. Don't pull dead weight.

Either she friendzoned you or he got a girlfriend....

What? Just speaking generally here.... Many people accept way to much bullshit, and worry too much too long, and do the part of both people. If someone don't show appreciation of your effort by giving an effort, they are probably not worth your time and energy. I find it hard to understand why people bother to waste energy on friendships where they are the only one maintaining it, and then even complain about it afterwards.

Look for reasons to like things. It seems that our default setting is to look for what is wrong with things. Look for what is pleasurable, and you will find more pleasure.

Set goals, make plans, build systems to accomplish it.

For later

Don't be a fagy, whiny, pussy. People hate that

Say goodbye to TV

Do your laundry.

Shave or trim your beard.

Brush your teeth.

Tidy up your room.

Take out the trash.

Throw away any food that's gone bad in your fridge.

Make scrambled eggs, carrot sticks or beans on toast to remind yourself how easy and fast cooking at home can be so that you stop eating out all the time.

Make a list of things that need to be done or are bothering you, then sort out which ones you can do today. Don't think too much about tomorrow or you'll drown yourself in worry and get nothing at all done today. Give the power to get shit done back to yourself by concentrating on now.

Clean your house. I've been in a pretty deep depression for a month and a half after my girlfriend left me. I quit my jobs and had only left my house to check the mail box every week or so. The other day I had some random energy and cleaned my house, it was insane how much I had let it go. I was feeling a bit better and have finally overcome my anxiety and was able to get to the airport and on a plane to cross the country and see my family today. Here now, finally around other people and feeling a lot better. All because I woke up to a clean house.

Edit: throwaway because I don't want people in my life knowing how dark it's been for me.

All these good suggestions on here and I’m wondering how people fit the time in to go gym, walk in the woods, read books etc inbetween workif shifts, sleep, household chores and eating.

Can I really work a restaurant job, go to the gym, play video games (my fav hobby) and get adequate sleep?

I just donated/threw away a ton of clothes and shit I haven't used in years and feel like a million bucks.

Drink more water. Seriously. Your body and mood will thank you.

Just be nice to everyone. It really is that simple.

Drink plenty of water, if your not eating healthy begin the process of changing your diet. Cut out fast food, cut out a majority of the sugar in your life and cook in more.

Quit caring what random people who are not important think about you.

Sleep 8 hours a day. Your body needs time to repair too. You will be more attentive, need less coffee in the am, poop regularly and lose weight faster. All this by sleeping around 10-11 and waking up around 6-7 am. But make sure you get ATLEAST 6-8 hours.

Whenever you feel hungry at an odd time or have a craving for something, go drink a glass of water and walk for 2 minutes, if you are still hungry or have that craving, go ahead. But 99% of the times that was just thirst, masquerading.

Walk for 5 minutes every hour. Unless you are in a super long meeting or are operating elbow deep in a patients belly, take some time out to walk. It will F5 you faster than you think.

Look at the product info for a packaged food before you buy it. And this is a big one. DON'T JUST FOCUS ON THE CALORIES. Look at the amount of Sugars and ADDED SUGARS in the product. That's what makes it unhealthy, not the amount of fat. Look at the amount of SODIUM, that's salt, makes you retain water inside your system, eventually making you overweight and contributing to hypertension.

Wake up early

Have more empathy.

Drinking more water.

Smile just a little bit more. I’ve been doing it recently and it’s made a huge difference.

Work a bit harder

Excercise

Yoga. There is no downside, it's great for the body and it genuinely helped me mentally since I started doing it regularly.

Whatever you're doing, do it with 100% of your attention. Even unproductive things.

Don't listen to a podcast while you're working. It lowers your productivity and you forget everything they're talking about anyways. Listen when you're at the gym or running or walking the dog.

Don't watch TV or a movie with a phone in your hand.

If you're out with friends or family be totally present - ignore your phone and be 100% with them.

If you're studying something, put your entire attention into it, even if it's for short bursts. Take breaks and then you can actually enjoy your downtime.

Eat good food aka not being a cheap fuck.

Get good sleep!

Seriously changed my life. I don't mean like lots of sleep, but well managed sleep, and get better quality of sleep.

Stop drinking

Drink more water

Smile at people. Doesn’t even have to be a big one, just a simple one can validate their worth. We never know what others are going through.

Make your bed in the morning, doing things ~10 mins before planned, replace all soda with water. Get enough sleep!

If you’re young, invest a little bit of money from every paycheck. Compound interest is real and your future self will love you.

Even if it’s 5 bucks a week, it’s something, stop buying Starbucks coffee every day and do that instead, you’ll love yourself in thirty years.

Bonus points if your employer has a matching policy, it’s like giving yourself a tiny raise.

Cooking

Waking up early.

Breathing meditation

Only runecraft through tears of guthix.

Be healthy.

stop worrying about other people's life problems...

Stay off of Reddit.

Go vegan.

Be more positive see the good of things more and not take their life for granted be more appreciatative of what they have and the people that are with them especially friends

Stop smoking

Konmari! Seriously. Unless you're already living a super minimalist lifestyle you've likely filled your life and home with crap you do not need. When you pull everything out and only keep what brings you joy and serves a purpose and then you get rid of everything else, your entire home and life will feel so much lighter and more free. Cleaning becomes easier. Tidying becomes easier. Living becomes easier. Plus your home then is filled with only things that bring you joy and you end up a happier person for it.

Invest time and effort in all important relationships

Have a better attitude, and more positive self talk... it’s helped me a ton.

Get rid of your religious beliefs. Believe in yourself!

120 minutes of vigorous exercise a week. Cardiovascular and weights.

Even if you already exercise, walk a mile a day (uninterrupted, if at all possible). It lets you decompress and enjoy the world around you.

Volunteer your time somewhere. Help those less fortunate than you.

Be nice to people.

Admit to your failures and take responsibility for yourself.

Also, the government is always going to fuck you, so it's best not to depend on them for vital things such as your education and health.

Have a better attitude, and more positive self talk... it’s helped me a ton.

Gym

There's plenty of little things.

Stop drinking to much alkohol

Stop smoking

Eat healthy

Only drink water and fresh pressed juice

Sleep well around 7 - 9 hours a night

As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, open the blinds. It's amazing how much better I feel just but doing this one small thing. I know I don't do it as often as I should but when I do it's like a new world.

Keep your hands off other people’s stuff.

Pause 2-3 second everytime you feel that you are making a decision driven by emotion and try think rational.

Breathing is simple and nice

Stop smoking or don’t start. Exercise. Save money. Eat and drink in moderation. Do something sociable even if with one friend. Volunteer.

less phone time

Preparing your own healthy home-cooked meals instead of eating out always. It's amazing how much better you can eat and how good food can be without so much salt and grease. Of course, sometimes we cave to cravings but generally, life is better when you control what you eat

Good posture and good attitude.

It took me a long time in my life to do these, but they are so easy, and they make my life wonderful:

1) Get good sleep every night.

2) Each good, tasty, fulfilling, nutritious foods.

3) Exercise.

It's actually easy to do these things (but remember, it's easy not to do them too)

Don't judge people

Water. Try to only drink water. It does wonders.

Sleep well and pick up a dumb, ultimately useless hobby.

Stop revolving your life around politics. Your ability to talk about things happening over the world is impressive given your equal ability to do nothing about them. Its a waste of energy that could be spent more practically.

Stay organized

I thought of something today and was wondering what people think about it - today I decided that whenever the next thing goes wrong, like something on my car breaking, I'm just not gonna get upset about it and let it ruin my day. I know something will happen eventually, so I'm preparing now ahead of time to be chill whenever it actually happens

Find a hobby you enjoy and do that instead of reading Reddit.

Drink more water!

For me personally the Gym worked to better my life in a lot of aspects. Living healthier, eating better, discipline.

I have found that asking my SO every morning, "is there anything I can do to make your day easier" has greatly improved both of our lives and our relationship.

Have more sex

At your job, learn someone's name and use it whenever you say hi to them. If you're bad with names when you introduce yourself say "I'm working on getting better with names so if I ask you again don't be mad" instead of saying "I'm bad with names so I'll forget". If you say the second one it makes you sound like a dick, whereas the first makes you sound like someone that works on improvement

This question is so fucking repetitive....

Don't seek simple solutions to complex problems.

Honestly exercise, but im too lazy to do that

Get it together and stop procrastinating. Always have some sort of time commitment so you actually get it done.

Fully and wholeheartedly accept that life isn't fair, with no bitterness or resentment about it, will take you a long way.

When something bad or annoying happens, look for any positive side. And in general, just laugh at Murphy's law instead of being mad at it.

Create a daily schedule and stick with it. It eventually becomes a routine and you can become very productive.

Being kinder to themselves and not beating themselves up easily :)

Eat Raw food, meditate, physical activity.

Cook your own food / meal prep.

You'll save thousands per year instead of eating take-out or even fast-food.

[deleted]

I decided to start making some simple changes since I’m approaching 30. My simple changes have been drinking a gallon of water a day, eating breakfast (usually reduced sugar oatmeal or a banana), and taking the stairs to the 6th or 8th floor at work.

I’ve definitely noticed that I sleep better, I’m more energized, and my skin looks healthier. I haven’t lost a lot of weight (29M 5’8” 270 down from 277 in December FWIW) but my cholesterol is down to 145, BP is usually around 120/70, and all my other vitals are in the green.

Everytime this gets asked the top answers are almost always: eat well, sleep well, exercise. These things help you get in a good mood to do whatever you like. As it turns out, mood is a big factor on how you face day to day life.

Floss your teeth.

Make your bed every morning. This means you've already accomplished one thing in the first 5 minutes of your day and it kind of jumpstarts the rest of your plans. Plus, coming home to a bed that's made makes it easier to relax.

A good pair of shoes

Stop drinking pop and sweetened drinks. Takes no effort to drink water instead. You'll stop having cavities, your overall health will improve, and you'll have more money in your pocket.

Use less plastic. Even a bit less is a start.

Eat better; get your 5 a day at least. Put an apple on your desk and buy bananas and try not to throw any away. Add a carrot to your lunch.

Drink more water, walk in the sun at least once a day when it's high enough to boost vitamin D, and sleep enough. Those three cure a lot of ills.

Don't continue arguments. Recognize, avoid engaging, de-escalate.

Take the time to swap a few words with people you see regularly.

To sort by new.

Quit smoking

Clean their bedroom. Like, really clean it.

I have anxiety and hate going out but I try to plan things that I can’t back out of every month so I ha be something to look forward to/also dread. I dread it until I get to the concert or whatever and then I’m fine and it’s helped with anxiety and depression.

Also, hobbies. Reading, puzzles, knitting. You can knit scarves and hats for homeless people and put them in bags and leave them around the city. It’ll help when it’s cold or rainy outside.

Do something for someone else. This takes your mind off of your own problems.

Live simple. No seriously the less you ave to worry about and hold responsibility the less you’ll stress

try r/NoFap

small things like cleaning or texting a old friend just little things like that can make you feel better

Sleep well. Eat well.

I don't know if this has already been said, but waking up 10-20 minutes early everyday. The extra time takes a lot of stress out of my life and affords me time for unforeseen events that take time to complete.

Slaughter their enemies and the families of their enemies.

Set a goal on Monday, complete it by Friday, relax for the weekend. Rinse repeat.

to take care of themselves ofc

Drink water

Assume that everyone is acting in good faith.

You may allow yourself to be proven wrong, but give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You’ll usually be right.

Drink more water.

Make your own bed first thing in the morning.

Read some classic litterature everyday.

Don’t overthink.

Smiling. It makes you more approachable and helps cultivate relationships. Of course don’t go around grinning like the Joker.

Earn a professional designation.

ITT: nobody abiding to “simple”.

Running. No gym membership needed, lots of physical and mental benefits, plus it gives you a reason to get outside. I suffer from mental illness, (bipolar) it has been a huge grounding tool for me.

Watch tv sparingly and do what you can to reduce exposure to advertising.

  • Stop smoking weed

Be nice to yourself.

i feel bad for this but...

workout

if you take one hour a day its 4% of your week. what excuse do you have

Go to bed immediately.

Stop asking this same question every other day

Adopt a do-ahead. Any do-ahead. Choose the next day's clothes before going to bed. Count out your daily supplements into separate containers on the weekend. Buy half-and-half TWO days before you're likely to run out. It won't keep things from exploding when you're in a hurry, but it'll minimize the damage.

Just don’t give a crap about what others think of you or your actions.

Life would become much more delightful then!

People say exercise. This is good (and will build, ideally)

But even more simple? Walk. Thats its, 30 mins of walking a day - a lot less time than you think - you can reddit in that time - if you're doing it anyway, might as well wall!(walking your neighborhood)

It’s hard to do, but take ownership of hardship in your own life.

I don’t mean that if you’re below the poverty line you should be grateful to live without the basics—broken systems need an overhaul and no one deserves poverty.

I mean that if you find yourself blaming your general unhappiness or wellbeing on others, do something to distance yourself from the toxic relationship or consider maybe the toxicity is you.

Taking ownership of hardships is weirdly empowering. The idea that “yes this sucks but I don’t have to put up with this”

Clean your room!

Self-discipline

If you spend a lot of time indoors, take a walk for 30 minutes to an hour maybe even meet a friend to walk. It helps clear your mind and get some excercise.

When you're alarm goes off, get up.

I follow a good portion of these and my life is still shit.

Call your local congressmen and women and tell them why net neutrality is important to you and those around you. We can still avoid having it taken.

Meditate. It's neither easy nor simple at the start. But once you learn how to do it, it's pretty simple, and your life is forever changed. You no longer have to stay up all night overthinking things, stress out about stuff without control. You have the ability to shut off your mind for some peace and be in the moment and focus on what matters

Help others out, complement people and form a circle of close friends. It’s kind of program rather than a simple thing, but all these things can be so simple to do if you do them in order. The friends you make are the ones that, if you do get sad or frustrated, you can vent your anger to. I’m currently trying to undergo this process and I have to say it’s working for me so far, now to just expand my circle.

Drinking water and sleeping at consistent times is extremely underrated

Accept responsibility! Own mistakes and learn from them.

People GREATLY respect that!

Doing this also allows to greatly accept responsibility when it is positive.

Be honest when people ask if you are ok. If you're not doing so stellar, say so. It reduces the stress that comes with holding up a facade. Before you know it, you'll actually be dealing with your problems and have people backing you up.

This is ofc about honestly answering an honest question, not about proactively telling other people about how miserable you are. That would be counterproductive.

I love everyone’s suggestions but need some more things that are “simple”.

Clean your room!

Clean your room.

Join a union

Just be nice to everyone new you meet, no matter how bad the first impression is.

Relax.

Make your bed every morning. No matter what you'll have something you didnt fuck up that day that rewards you later on.

Exercise regularly. It doesn't have to be a gym. Even making the choice to walk instead of drive will have a big impact on your health and well being. Little choices, such as choosing a walkable neighborhood, or a neighborhood next to a park, can have a large effect on boosting your happiness and quality of life

Be kind. Turns out being nice to people makes you feel better.

Evidence suggests that improved mood is a common side-effect of being kind. Various studies attribute altruism with releasing endorphins in the ‘reward’ part of our brains. Experts at Oxford University carried out a meta-analysis of such research last year and lent their support to the idea that altruism gives us a mental boost.

“We found that helping does seem to have a causal effect on happiness,” says Dr Oliver Scott Curry, senior researcher at the Institute of Cognitive & Evolutionary Anthropology, who led the research.

from this article

Take your time to make your bed in the morning. It's a 2 minute job and even if you achieve nothing else that do you've done that.

Mewing

Realize that time spent engaging in your hobbies or otherwise having fun isn’t a waste.

Eat healthy, exercise daily, ENOUGH SLEEP

Learn to say no

drink water and walk everyday

Eat within a 12 hour window (at most) as often as you can. Everything from sleep quality to weight maintenance to disease prevention improve when you eat in sync with your digestive enzymes and circadian rhythm. Sounds bro-sciencey but look up Rhonda Patrick’s stuff about this, pretty compelling.

Doing something eco friendly. It just feels good to know you tried even something small to not contribute to the giant fuckage that is the human race.

Enjoy what you do. If you do things you don’t like you’re going to be miserable

Make your bed every morning.

Make your bed. It really gets the ball rolling for the rest of the day. Checking off a simple task in the morning really sets you up for a nice snowball effect.

Also, drink water.

Twinkle twinkle, Big Star classic Aziz camera look

Saw it here a few years back. Make your bed. Every morning. First thing. It's a great way to start the day. Accomplishing a small thing sets the tone for bigger things.

Take a cold shower.

Now, it sounds totally insane to do this in the dead of the winter (with the temperature going to -20 C where I live) but it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. You build up a reserve of mental strength that is seriously incredible.

Plus your skin stays soft.

Wake up earlier and do something like read, workout, go for a walk, meditate, just anything productive, you will feel so much better about yourself than if you slept in an extra hour

Stop masturbating and watching porn.

​

Also taking part in hobbies when thinking of negative thoughts.

Floss

Brushing your teeth, especially if you're a smoker; nothing worse than a rotting mouth.

Actively listen, instead of actively planning what to say next.

Stretch. Set a timer each day to take just a few minutes to do a few stretches. Do it during the work day if you can so no time is “wasted.” It’ll make you feel better immediately.

For me, an unexpected consequence is that I don’t experience night time heartburn as often anymore.

Meal prep. Might not be the simplest thing in the world but I've found that sitting down on a saturday, planning out my meals for the work week then spending some time buying groceries and cooking for an hour or two on Sunday has relieved a lot of stress in my life. I'm eating healthier, I'm saving money, and I don't have to worry about what garbage the cafeteria at my office is serving.

What was the top answer last time?

Be kind.

Self-Reflection everyday for 5-15 mins. Helps you get a grasp of things that's happening in your life, or not happening in your life.

Do things for other people, please

I hate most things and most people but the thing that gives me the warmest sense of joy is making others happy even just little things.

Smile and say hi to people in the hall way. Incredibly simple to do, but many can’t seem to do it. Friendliness will take you far!

Get outside for a little bit each day. Even if it's just finding somewhere nice to sit down. Theres a reason people go outside for fresh air when they feel sick/stressed.

Im sure it had already been mentioned, but setting long term and short term goals.

doing your best to fill those around you with happiness, will eventually start to take effect and you will feel more happy yourself.

Ask yourself why you want to improve it.

Meditation

Pick one dish that you really like - nothing too complex, perhaps some comfort food from your childhood - and learn how to cook it for yourself. Even if it's just brownies from a boxed mix.

Coke.

Don’t do a lot in short time.

Breathing properly

Manners. Simple please and thank you goes a long way.

Go on more long walks, please!

just let shit go.....walk the fuck away and let that shit go

Drink water.

Go for walks.

Meditate.

Mind their own business.

Stop watching porn.

How dare you

It's simple but it ain't easy.

Drink more water. It's amazing what an extra glass or two of water every day can do for you.

Worship & serving needy/poor people ❤

Get enough sleep! For years I survived on 4-5 hours a night. Now I get 8 hours and the difference is noticeable.

Get off Reddit. And on that note, I'm off to be productive!

Hobbies, eat healthier, quit smoking

Stop chasing women.

Try your best to be more optimistic in your life.

Stretch every day.

When you’re 50, you’ll know why.

Read

Make their beds in the morning

Take a B12 vitamin

Workout. My buddy used to be super big and now hes in good shape and he’s super happy. Physical activity has been proven to make the body and kind happy.

Have zero standards

Just DIE

Meditate for 10 minutes a day.

Wake up early. If you work normal work hours, getting up a few hours before work to take a shower, make a nice breakfast, and relax before starting your day, makes all the difference.

Buy one of those 32oz water bottles. Fill it and drink once or twice a day.

I find that setting realistic New Years resolutions has helped me a bit. I can reflect on the previous year and work on my biggest flaws in the coming year

I think there are a couple things you could do :-

  1. Nobody's business is your business unless you are called for or you are somehow directly connected to the matter...

  2. Never do anything blindly. Whether it be trusting someone or loving someone. Always keep some of your self-worth and respect with you at all times.

  3. Try to break every single one of your mistakes or problems into it's fundamental elements; some of them being - how did this problem arise ? Why am I in this mess ?? A mistake made once is a mistake, twice it's a choice...

  4. Don't get too attached to anything, especially to what others may say. Stay focused on what you love to do and how you love to do it. Push your boundaries everyday. Try new things.

That's it I think.

Get up and out of bed everyday at the same time. Yes even on the weekend. Its an easy habit to do and keeps your body and mind more productive. My body is so used to it that on the weekend I still wake up at 5am with no alarm.

1.Wake up on time. The voice inside you saying 5 more minutes is evil and wants you to rush and be late. 2 . Being organised. It's just easier when you know where everything is.

Drink water, seriously. And go outside for like atleast 5 minutes a day.

Don't settle for people that dont show you your true worth.

Make you bed in the morning

Exercise

Learn an instrument. Made my life better.

Not shoot up heroin.

Drink lots of water. Don't force it. Don't ignore thirst.

Meditation, 15 minutes a day.

Eat healthier and cook for yourself, it can be very simple and easy to learn

Make it a routine to get ready everyday, even on my worst depression days I do this. Sitting in bed with greasy hair and track pants will not help you feel better, it will do the opposite! Even it’s just splashing some water on your face and changing into a fresh pair of track pants! Also not eating processed foods is something I learned a lot about when I was in a mental hospital, I avoid them like crazy and it elevates my mood like crazy. I like wake up excited to eat my 12 grain toast and black coffee because I know it will fuel my body better then some fast food

Drink 2 liters of water a day. Eat healthy but indulge in moderation. Go to the gym and do a combination of lifting weights and cardio. Don’t drink alcohol or do drugs. Figure out what you want out of life do backwards math from there to figure out how to get that.

Find a hobby you enjoy that will also improve you as a person. What I mean by this is playing an instrument learning a language going for hikes. I know lots of people that are big gamers or drinkers by hobby and they really aren’t bettering themselves. I’m not knocking it just be self aware of it.

If you are younger don’t have kids until you can support yourself. One of the best ways to do this is either through college a trade school or some form of skilled labor. Look at how many people work 2 jobs bagging groceries with 3 kids from different partners and can’t afford shit and have a super poor quality of life. This is preventable. Also if you do decide to college or do something at all career wise look at this mental triad. Can you find a job easily? Will this job be available anywhere? Will I make good money with this job? Don’t expect to graduate with a degree in art and have the job security of someone that’s an engineer or a nurse etc.

Be kind to others with small silly things: I love your shoes, you look great today, that thing you did was remarkable, well done, etc.

It is very easy to brighten someones day.

If we all practiced kindness every day, the world wouldnt be such a dark place

Drink more water. Get more sun.

Switch out soda with water.

Get a doggo. So much love

Every day, look for three things in your home to throw away or give away.

Adjust your chair to your desk.

Trust me, random arm pains aren’t good.

Get your memes from Reddit not Instagram

having cake on cakeday

Learning to cook :) it can be really simple things, but if you can feed yourself it helps you stay healthier and gives you a hobby.

I don't know if it's simple cause it can take an hour, but declutter your closet and dresser. Pull everything out and one by one, ask yourself "If this we're in a store today, would I be drawn to it?" Feels good to get rid of stuff you're not excited about.

Make your bed every morning. Cant tell you how awesome it feels to come home to a made bed

Cut out sugar and junk food.

Breathe

Gallon of water a day. Your skin will look better, you’ll feel more energized, your kidneys will get plenty of practice/cleansing.

Keep your space tidy. Makes you feel refreshed when you wake up or come home to a clean space, plus it's less stress you have to deal with.

I would say Meditate but I feel that that's not always "simple" with all the poses, techniques, books, classes, etc. So I'll just say breathe. Seriously just take a few moments out of your day and breathe, observe your mind and be fully present in your body. Maybe when you sit down at your desk when you get to work in the morning just take a beat for a minute and breathe in and out. Or maybe after work when you get in your car just take a sec to breathe. Really any time works but just do it, I can't stress how much breathing can help you with everything. It's truly changed my life.

Good grades

Stay in shape.

Go for a walk.

Begin a meditation practice. It will help you realize how your mind works and then regardless of your circumstances you can approach them with mindfulness and compassion. The Headspace app is a great place to start.

calm cup of coffee

Get rid of negative people.

Be kinder.

Make your bed. Everyday, without fail.

I've started doing this and it's working.

Inspired by Admiral William H. McRaven who delivered a speech to the Graduates of the University of Texas at Austin on May 17, 2014:

"If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made — and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed."

Clean and fix your house/room.

Even if it is a really big mess, do it in small steps. People really need to appreciate their living environment more. You'll feel alot better if you live in a clean space and alot more comfatble if guests visit.

Having a private personnal diary (I bought one on amazon which has a locker). Having a safe private space where you can write off anything is especially important now. It's easy to get engulfed in social medias or life in general. Taking that precious time a few days a week to reflect on your life, your day, what you want to do, your relationships, etc.

As a man I don't get to express my feelings as honestly and as much I should. I've got really close friends and family but none are close enough for me to talk to them without setting up a barrier.

Exercise.

Be blunt. Stop wasting time with people who make you unhappy, and tell them straight up that you’d prefer to part ways. Confront people when you’re upset with them, and resolve the issue. Tell someone when they’re pissing you off, don’t just sit around and take it. Stand up for yourself.

Sounds scary, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Write 3 things you're grateful for everyday.

​

Seems really simple, but research has shown that this helps rewire your brain to focus on the positive things in your life and environment.

Stop talking negatively about other people. Say nice things about them, and don’t say something behind someone’s back that you wouldn’t say to their face.

Journaling. Just write down your thoughts, your worries, and your goals. It's amazing to look back and see your progress and how things work themselves out. Also therapuetic to just dump those feelings onto paper and get them out of your head a bit.

Stay active by simple workouts

Make your bed every morning. It only takes 30 seconds and it's really nice to have that at the end of the day. No matter how your day goes. If you have a bad day, you have a nice made bed waiting for you. If you had a good day, that might make it even better.

Drink more freaking water.

There's a saying:" keep the saw sharp". You can't saw down a tree with an old saw. Take care of yourself cause if you don't thinks will only take longer and become harder to achieve.

Eat well, sleep well, exercise daily, prioritize friends, make something

Regular sleep, exercise, and minimizing alcohol consumption.

My Mum says studying, Easy

Stretch after waking up. I don’t do it, but couldn’t hurt.

Always prepare for the next day, it's better to have a stress free morning. e.g. setting your ironed clothes on your desk

Meal prepping brings me a lot of joy and satisfaction while also helping me save money. Plus, my lunches for the work week are all delicious and ready when I’m hungry (I hate waiting in line at a drive-thru). This change is simple and could make anyone’s life that much better.

Obligatory plug: r/mealprepsunday

Quit cigarettes

Refrain from as much unneeded gossip as possible

get a dog

Exercise. Go for a walk every day. 15 minutes here and there add up.

And brush teeth.

Let making your bed be the first thing you accomplish every day. Each day needs a good foundation.

Forgive themselves. Something I’m still learning everyday

Eliminate soda or cut it down to moderation.

Meal Prep

Try hugging a pillow so you won't feel lonely! :D

I agree with you and I am working on structuring my sleep to help insomnia but it’s hard when your brain is fighting against you

BREATHE

Brush your fucking teeth

​

Leave comments for the FCC and call your state and federal reps to protect net neutrality.

Say "thanks" more.

eat more beans

Die

Think

Don't procrastinate. Procrastination is like masturbation, at the end of the day you're only fucking yourself.

Wake up earlier, read books, exercise (even if it’s just doing 10 pushups when you wake up in the morning)

Don’t look at your phone so much before bed.

Pick up a Qigong or Tai Chi form of exercise. Unlike running or other types, it can be done at any level of fitness. It is somewhere between exercise and meditation and relaxation, and can in many cases be a cure all for everything from depression to chronic illnesses or life-style problems.

Unlike traditional exercise, it isn't unpleasant or exhausting, but instead gives you energy right from the start. It can be done at all ages, and is especially potent for the elderly. YouTube is a great place to start.

Cut your commute time.

Meditating daily for just 5 minutes. After a month you start to see that your attention span has increased, you are more focused and down-to-Earth.

It’s the most over looked, and yet the most important: Just simply WANTING to improve your life. The inner inner real you wants good things for you, so if you just give yourself the desire to want better for yourself, then EVERY area of your life will improve. Because you’ll cut out a lot of shit you don’t need and grow things you do.

Dont waste energy by getting upset over things that are out of your control.

Meditate daily, it only takes 10 minutes and its proven to reduce stress

It sounds silly, but start your day with a really uplifting (or one of your favourite) songs. As someone who struggles with sleep and getting out of bed in the morning, this impacts my day so much.. and it makes me get out of bed.. Obviously don’t set your alarm tone as you favourite song.. I’ve ruined so many tunes for myself that way..

Don't let others rule your emotions.

Stop asking this question on r/askreddit

If you can, shorten your commute. It's weird how much time you get back and how much better you feel for it.

Die, at least for me.

Smile at yourself in the mirror and mean it.

Can we please stop with this question🙄

Make your bed each morning.

​

Clean your room.

Accept that there's nothing you can do about traffic. So much less stress, and probably easier on my car too with less aggressive driving.

stepping back and looking at your motivations of why you do things a certain way. If you don't like what you see then don't be afraid to make a change.

Always view the glass as half full instead of half empty. The value of positivity is astronomical.

Get rid of the credit cards!

Understanding how to control your thoughts and emotions.

​

Meditation is simple but not easy. If you can get into habit of meditating 10 mins each day you will learn how to become aware of your thought pattern and instead of being subject to your emotions you can learn to harness negative and positive emotions as wind in your sails for an easier ride through life.

Stretch everyday.

Be nice to one another. There is so much negativity in this world today and if you say one kind thing to another person, it could make their day. You don’t know what they’re going through.

Be active at least 30 mins a day. Walk, run, sprint, workout, whatever- just get up and move.

Clean-up as you go.

Stop drinking soda.

Stop smoking.

Stop eating all forms of fast food.

Reduce intake of added sugars by at least 50%.

Request that the dentist’s office always give you a lead lined neck guard before before doing dental X-Rays. Not just the apron. An actual neck guard.

Stop expecting everyone around you to “accept” how you live your life.

Stop pretending like judging people is wrong.

Understand that you do not have the right to not be offended.

Give great consideration to learning a trade rather than going to college.

Regardless of what field you go into, spend a few hundred dollars and get certified as an EMT at your local community college and work the job at least once or twice a month.

Learn that “diversity” is not an inherently positive thing in every situation.

Stop talking so Goddamned much.

Beat the shit out of their roommate while explaining to them what a piece of shit they are..... oh wait, I think that's just me

Clean your room.

I think there are a couple things you could do :-

  1. Nobody's business is your business unless you are called for or you are somehow directly connected to the matter...

  2. Never do anything blindly. Whether it be trusting someone or loving someone. Always keep some of your self-worth and respect with you at all times.

  3. Try to break every single one of your mistakes or problems into it's fundamental elements; some of them being - how did this problem arise ? Why am I in this mess ?? A mistake made once is a mistake, twice it's a choice...

  4. Don't get too attached to anything, especially to what others may say. Stay focused on what you love to do and how you love to do it. Push your boundaries everyday. Try new things.

That's it I think.

make their bed every morning

Walk and bike places! You'll get exercise, see an improvement in your mental health, and have chances to interact with neighbors. Not to mention replacing a driving trip with walking or biking is environmentally friendly and saves you money

Push ups. Doesn't matter how many , just try to do it regularly

Work out, go gym rather than sit down and watch Netflix for hours on end

Set realistic goals

If you and a friend are both stuck in mess, swap messes. It’s much easier to clean someone’s else’s space. Dunno why. Maybe because it’s harder to just sit there.

Write To-do lists for anything it is will make any task seem more obtainable

Eat well.

Exercise.

Sleep early, around 10pm

Sleep in darkness, turn of lamps n shit.

Get better in social life (there are great books about it, recommend Models by Mark Manson).

Aknowledge to people at work if you did something wrong.

Give feedback to friends that you know if it is for the better, we have allot of sides that we aren't aware of, may hurt them but in long run it can help allot and they may do it to you aswell, plus you will have better friends around you.

Try out allot of things in life, we may not know that we like things before we tried it.

Go in therapy, Can feel good to talk with someone about everything without judgeing

​

Some of these may not be that simple, but can be very rewarding in long run

Take up an old-school hobby. Take up a hobby that has nothing to do with computers, phones or the internet and get serious about it. Self-learn. Completely ignore the power of the internet to help you quickly answer every question you have. Do it the hard way. Fail. Try again. Figure it out and in the process, accept that this process is in service to a critical life-skill that, if it isn't deliberately developed, will render you a weak and impotent person.

Accept that you will not be the greatest who ever did it. You will attain modest competence through deeply exploring and engaging this thing that you're interested in via trial and error. You will enjoy yourself. You will learn things about yourself.

Most old-school hobbies are little puzzles that teach you things about patience, resourcefulness, perseverance, dedication and a whole host of other character traits that are being rapidly lost but if you can cultivate them, will carry over into everything else you do and make you better at it. This is what is being lost in the instant gratification era. The empty calories of amusement instead of the intellectual nourishment that comes from engagement.

When I had my first job at an investment bank I had an MD give me this simple advice. "every night before bed do 25 push ups and crunches/situps. Then when you wake up in the morning give yourself an extra 15 minutes to stretch and do another 25 push ups and situps before taking a shower".

Get in a routine of doing it, literally takes a few minutes, but you will notice a difference. Also in terms of caffeine for waking up in the morning, drink a big glass or bottle of water (I keep like a 26oz water bottle next to my bed that I just chug right when I wake up) and do those stretches/light exercise, then take your shower. in 30 minutes you'll probably have the effect of multiple coffees or energy shots.

If you were born to parents below the median household income, try to study somewhere in the northern EU or former Commonwealth and then stay there.

Social mobility in the US is *fucked*

Destroy their smartphone. Stop masturbating. No sugar in their diet. Practice sainthood. Etc.

Make your bed. It may seem really dumb at first but once you make it a habit you realize you can create many minuet habits that eventually make you a more productive person. It's the things that we do everyday that define us, not the things that we do every once and a while.

Work out 3x a week and drink plenty of water, r/waterniggas represent ✊

Make it a personal rule to never lie to people. This will in improve your life in the following ways:

A) People will trust and respect you more. People know when they're being lied to, even if they don't call you out. And they'll also greatly appreciate knowing they're not being lied to.

B) You'll hold yourself more accountable. If you're about to do something shitty, and know you'll have to lie about it, it'll prevent you from doing that shitty thing.

Work out 3x a week and drink plenty of water, r/waterniggas represent ✊

Don't let a bad 5 minutes ruin the remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes of your day.

Clean your room. It's simple but it's the easiest and simplest step to feeling accomplished and in control. Establishing order there can cascade into other areas.

Drinking water

Meditation

Keep things back from where you picked them up.

Probably redundant, but three simple things: Sleep, diet, exercise.

Set a goal. Then work to achieve the goal.

Hit the gym

Don't always buy the cheapest thing. If you can afford it, remember that nice things are nice. I'm not talking buy the most expensive of everything, just don't always buy the cheapest if all it's got going for it is, it's the cheapest. Having things that just work & don't have to be finangled, having tastier food or coffee, having shoes that don't make your feet hurt. All of these things add to a quality of life you don't even realize you're missing. As an example I'm not rich by any means, but for years I bought cheap Walmart like no name kitchen tools, then one day I splurged a whole $20 for a victronix knife on sale, & my cooking brain exploded. The knife was comfortable to hold & held an edge & cooking was just that bit easier. Changed my whole world view that knife did. Sometimes I have to scrimp & save but I will not buy cheap shit to do a job anymore just because it's cheap.

The last 55 minutes of your night is spent looking at things that don't create light... No screens, no phones, no TV. Read a book, talk to somebody if you can, or otherwise let your eyes rest.

Take 100% responsibility for you. You cannot control anyone else, you can only control how you act/react to situations and/or others.

For me it was playing less video games

30 minutes of exercise a day. Could just be a walk. Make it a habit.

Learn how to cook and get good at it.

Accept that you will always have problems in your life, and that a good life consists of choosing the good problems (the problems you can tolerate, or that you care about).

Don't lie, the moment you've lied to someone and got caught, you've lost their trust. Untrusted people can't do anything without someone being there to watch their every move

Pay off your debts starting with the smallest first.

Discard time wasters and drama mongers from your friends bank. Seek genuine relationships with ppl who have goals and well aimed attitudes towards said goals. Often times one will notice that they've lost many "friends," however, if your time alone is well managed and your self sufficient in your life then it will prove to be 10× more valuable to have 2 or 3 dependable, motivated and honest friends than it ever was to have 15 to 20 acquaintances to pilfer through out of boredom. All aspects of life gain value and the responsibility of moving forward becomes primary.

Honestly over the years I’ve kept a list on how to keep myself the happiest. Keep, religion and politics out of your conversations unless you know the person your talking with is going to be like minded. Keep an open perspective when it comes to your career path, and have more than one career goal in mind. Kick toxic people out of your life, if being around certain people makes your life worse than don’t give them the time of day. Keep yourself busy and remember to keep an open mind and challenge everything you learn there is always more than one way to do things.

Sleep and do what the love hobby wise. Makes life go by alot better than saying smile more. That just a grin and bearing that no one should do

Clean your room!

Self-analysis. It's hard to do but will only make you a better person. For example, I used to be one of those people who could never admit to being wrong, I asked myself why I felt that way, and it was simply ego and pride, so I started admitting when I was wrong and came to terms with how it made me feel and now it doesn't bother me at all to be wrong. People like me a lot more now too

It really helped me just opening the windows in my room before going to bed and after waking up makes the room feel fresher to me. Plus drinking at at least 2 liters of water a day had be feeling much more energized and motivated.

Stay away from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and start living your own life and not watch other people live theirs

Get an alarm clock and charge your phone in a different room, or at least across the bedroom.

Go outside.

Exercise, eat well, be outdoors.

Try not to stay indoors too long doing things like play video games, studying too much or watching TV.

Do everything in moderation

Make a budget and spend less than you make.

Positive attitude.

Take a doggo on a walk.

Be on time

End unhealthy relationships ASAP.

@Tyler1

Exercise, physical health and psychological health are super closely intertwined.

Make your bed every morning.

When you are standing. Stand with your hands clasped behind your back. It promotes posture. Makes you more attractive. And over time provides a very real positive impact on your self confidence.

Stop eating sugar.

Don't overindulge in anything, especially alcohol.

Drop toxic people from their life.

Don’t guilt trip people when you don’t get your way. If they don’t want to do something fine. 10/10x it’s because you guilt tripped that you’re not getting your way

Take care of yourself. Dont smoke, Drink lots of water and eat healthy. Really simple and can make you feel a hell of a lot better

Gratitude lists. Either mentally or physically written down. Makes a huge difference for me when I do it consistently.

Don't pretend to be nice if you're in a bad mood. But don't let it out on people who have nothing to do with it

Keep an open mind. Try and see things from other people’s perspective.

Get sun and exercise regularly.

Floss

Make lists!

Instead of looking at the negativity of a situation, focus on the positive. In any day to day scenario. Complaining about it seems to be much easier unfortunately.

Socialize. Even if you're not the social-butterfly of you're school or job, make some friends because if you dont you'll have no one to vent too or hang out with and your life will get really lonely and it's not worth experiencing. It's also good to make friends because people, young or old, will take advantage of the fact you're a loner and will target you for gossip or worse. So get some friends to watch your back and defend you. Also make friends with people you know you can trust and people who wont get you in trouble.

Exercise. It doesn't have to be a Dwayne Johnson workout, but it makes every other aspect of your life easier and more pleasant

change their posture

Get in a routine. Even for you people who feel you aren't routine oriented, getting into good habits and consistent days makes things easier and to me at least more satisfying.

read more

Try to get to know someone and know how to treat them I know it’s not easy but it works well for people with anxiety Letting them know that you are there and are willing to be their Friend not because of pity but because you really want to really really helps

Exercise

Own a shrimp tank

Stop playing ranked in League of Legends.

Soft and thick toilet paper!!!

Exercise and practice gratitude.

Take a piece of trash with you every time you leave your car. Your car will be clean pretty quick, and you won’t feel like you did anything.

Bonus is that it stays clean because of this habit.

Ditch your toxic/abusive friend. Trust me; you DON'T need them, your life will be so much better without them around. Find friends who actually care about you and have healthier, happier relationships. Ofc nobody is perfect, so don't get too picky, but if someone always makes an effort to be honest with you and consider your feelings, they're worth your heart. Just be sure to give them the same trust and consideration in return.

Drink water. Better sleep, better skin, better health for basically nothing. Drastically improves your mood

go on r/lifeprotips

Buy a vegetable steamer. Use it to "hard boil" eggs. They're easy to peel and impossible to fuck up. Use the eggs for easy snacks so you don't eat garbage.

Making your bed in the morning, they say it helps start your day positive with a small achievement

Drink more water

Think about the act before saying anything or doing something.

To never be late to anything

Laugh and smile more. It's super easy tot start and you will have a better attitude tot the world, and people will have a better attitude towards you

Stop smoking and reduce drinking.

Don't neglect to pay a bill due to needing food.

You're 10x more likely to find someone or some organization to help feed you than you'll be able to find someone to help you pay your car note, electric bill, etc.

Pay your bills first. Not paying them costs you extra money in late fees and those fees add up fast.

Quit drinking so much. I cut down to just a few on the weekends and dropped like 25 lbs, have way more energy, and just feel better about pretty much everything.

stop going on reddit

Go for a walk. It helps clear your head and get some fresh air and exercise.

Lower your time on social media and pursue a passion you've always wanted to do with the extra free time on your hands!

Eat healthy. Doesn’t need to be super intense changes, but having an extra serving of fruit or veggies per day to replace junk food can have great benefits physically and mentally

Drink plenty of water.

Excercise daily

Take responsibility. Once you understand that only YOU control YOU, the whole world opens up to you.

Trying to always find a positive side of things

First thing you do when you wake up: Make your bed

Act on dreams instead of just planning. Take the jump and go for it, because one day you will look back and wonder "what if".

Floss

early wake!

The “go first” rule People are friendly, but you have to go first.

Accumulated tasks What’s the one thing I can do today that’ll take the largest load off my shoulders

The 2-minute productivity rule If a task will take less than 2 minutes, do it right now. If it will take longer, write it down.

Hedonic adaptation Hedonic adaptation is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.

Motivation is a myth Motivation, broadly speaking, operates on the erroneous assumption that a particular mental or emotional state is necessary to complete a task (this has its exceptions).

Whenever you feel like slacking off, just turn yourself around and do something productive. I tried it, I felt great and my productivity is at an all-time high!

Wasn't this question JUST asked this week? Am I going crazy?

Be debt free. Stop taking out loans for things. Pay with cash

Go on a walk a few times a week. Getting out and about does wonders for your health and it will actually put you in a better mood!

Realize they woke up on a fleck of dust spinning in infinite space. Perhaps life doesn't have to be taken seriously?

Getting a haircut always makes me feel better. It’s a quick easy fix for a deep and affecting thing that probably should be addressed in hours of therapy. but it’s easy and they have free suckers

Drink more water

Not date me

Take your medicine as prescribed.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Clean out you closet and donate.

Give yourself quietness to think. In this day and age it is easy to have noise in the background at all times, but avoid the temptation and shut off youtube, music, and the tele and you'll notice some great benefits.

Being spatially aware of your surroundings in public. It only takes a little bit of heightened peripheral vision and sensory effort and it makes everyone's life around you that much better.

Go for a walk

Get good lmao

Never lie, you don’t have to remember anything when you don’t lie.

Therapy.

Stop being so fucking miserable all the time

Scream while shitting.

I miss out on a lot of family/friend "news," but I deleted my Facebook account 5 years ago and haven't regretted it once. Relationships are much more intentional and in depth. We really know each other more, instead of being aware of their 'public' life. I prefer fewer 3D relationships than many 2D ones. I text with my aunts and uncles and friends much more, and make more time for coffee dates or hikes.

Follow the 3-second rule when driving.

Make your bed; regimenting yourself prevents you from lazing out of your responsibilities

Stand up straight; posture is the difference between a hunchback with a potbelly and a tall, well-built man/woman

Open the blinds. Better yet, leave your house

Travel.

Stop eating animal products and eat the shit out of veggies/fruits/legumes/nuts/seeds/mushrooms

Subscribing to pewdiepie

Automate everything you can in terms of banking and saving.

I was always someone who never budgeted and was bad at paying bills on time, bad at saving, etc.

My financial stress level decreased significantly after I automated credit card payments, bill payments, and automatic deposits to a savings account. After I did this I felt like I had control, and I could better manage and take control of my finances.

What I found out was that I actually did have enough money to meet my obligations, save money, and have some leftover for myself, I was just absolutely shit at managing it.

Listen to happy music.

Learn the art of forgiveness.

Exercise

Budget budget budget!! At the very least know where your money is going. A thread like this back in December CHANGED MY LIFE when I finally decided to keep track of my money.

Take care of the little things, so the little things take care of you.

Have and use manners.

Make the next step.

Betting

Get revenge by improving your life to be better than theirs, especially to the point where it means you don't have to deal with them.

To date, as far as I know, a colleague is still in the same shitty job, one of my exes still lives in the shitty shoebox sized flat I left her in another still lives in her mum's house, an old housemate is still in the ex council estate I was in.

Me? I'm 35kg lighter, living in the country I wanted in a job where I can use more skill than before , and I'm happy most of the day.

Go to a reddit meet up in your hometown and make 1 new friend.

"Nosce te Ipsum"

Just be straight edge

Drink water, stretch, exercise 30 minutes repeat daily.

Once you get in the habit, an early morning workout is pretty simple. It will take some time to transition, but soon you'll wake up at 5 am as easy as you did at 7 am. As far as what to do - something you will do consistently. That is most important. Sure a two-hour Olympic lifting program might be beneficial, but only if sustainable. If 30 minutes on the bike is what you can commit to, start with that.

You'll also find the things you are doing at 5 am are usually much more beneficial than the things you would have been doing had you stayed up until 11 pm.

Floss

Something I just started doing recently: Stop procrastinating, and just do your work at appropriate times. I’ve been procrastinating nearly all my life, but the removal of it has seriously improved my well being.

Get enough sleep

Pay into a pension.

Honestly, for me, it's about just taking 10 minutes or so each night to reflect on my day. Even if it's been bad. And just thinking how I can learn from it or if it's been good, why and how can I keep it up? And drink a nice warm drink. Cliche but it does help.

Meditate.

Get a tongue scraper

Wash your face

Cut toxic people out of your life. You know who they are, and you know it needs to be done.

1: be nice to people. Seriously one of the best feelings you can have is just dropping something nice towards a stranger and seeing their face light up.

2: set some goal for yourself. I'm doing an apprenticeship right now and tbh it sucks pretty hard. I work 40+ hours a week for the same salary I had in my mini job where I worked 25 hours a month and the work is a lot harder. It's really hard to stay motivated like this. The thing is in 2 years when I'm done with it I'll earn that amount in like half a week. It's to reach that point why I'm doing it. Having goals for the future and always reminding you of why you're doing the things you do keeps the mood up pretty well.

Stop worrying about things you have no control over.

Keep your home, body, and laundry clean.

Smile at strangers. And smile more in general.

Move. Run. Walk. Do something that elevates your heartrate. Humans were not made to be couch potatoes.

Brush their teeth.

Be nice to people.

Get and appropriately water some plants. Helps with stress and depression and stuff. Makes your room look and sometimes smell better too.

TL;DR We're animals. We like plants and stuff.

play minecraft

Drink water instead of coke, ice tea or other sugar filled drinks

Exercise 30 minutes a day everyday. It’s good for your mind and body.

Simply make your bed everyday.

Get more money

Not care.

Do things for someone else.

Strength training.

More efficient and stronger muscle tissue, better body composition, very rewarding form of exercise, higher metabolism. Reduced risk of injury in day-to-day activities.

Sleep better

Say please and thank you more.

Stretch

Breathe air

build a good bowel schedule. if you shit first thing every morning, i guarantee your life becomes better.

benefits:

  • you can add it to your morning routine and shower afterwards – no need to rely on toilet paper for incomplete wiping!

  • you won't be carrying around yesterday's waste as you go about your day

  • you get to use your own toilet in the comfort of your home – no need to worry about having to use public toilets of dubious cleanliness

how to reach this level

  • eat enough (not too much) fibre

  • move around during the day

  • drink enough water

  • if you don't feel the call as soon as you get up, try walking around a bit and doing other stuff to get ready. pack your bag, make some coffee, pour your cereal, etc

  • don't spend too much time sitting on the toilet: this is a path that only leads to despair in the form of hemorrhoids, constipation, and excessive redditing

You can stop reposting popular r/AskReddit threads.

Keeping your room organised .

Think positively.

This is what i do whenever i feel stressed or anxious about something: Sit down, close your eyes and perform periodic breathing while counting the time you take on each step. This not only brings your mind away from the thing that stresses you but also gives a sense of peace when you had nothing to worry about for a while.

Stop taking advice from men about women and vis versa. Too many misinterpretations. Just ask the guy or girl and get your information FROM THE SOURCE

Learn to cook, I've only recently started cooking more and having friends over and cooking for them is a great time, I've also lost weight as I'm not eating all that take away crap

Be happy with and love yourself

Go outside and walk or bike just for the fun of it.

Doesn't even have to be to anywhere special, you just can walk down the street and back.

Also take moments just to live in the moment. You don't need to think about the future or past all the time. Let yourself be happy about what's happening now.

Learn basic home improvment. knowing how to replace outlets, shower heads, and fix holes in drywall goes a long way.

Don’t repeat rumors even if you think their true.

Get a standup desk

Be richer

Stop procrastinate on things you’ll have to do eventually. You see that glass on the table, eventually you’ll have to pick it up and put it in the dishwasher, do it now and you won’t have to do it later or keep piling glasses on the table until you run out of space and will have to do double the job. I learned this the hard way once I moved out of my parents house. Little things like that can improve your life.

Git gud

  1. Eat your breakfast.
  2. Treat yo self

I made a little mindset to make every day better than the last , I was going through a bad time and I mean just a little better each day kinda gave me the idea that even thought today isn’t good tomorrow will be and the day after even better and that really helped me .

Secret acts of kindness. It's corny but true. When you start doing little things to make other peoples lives better it'll brighten your day. When you start doing it without telling anyone it feels even better. Surprisingly it even works if you tend to hate most people.

Pick up after yourself.

read how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie

Smile. It makes you feel better and all those that surround you.

Just smile. It's amazing what smiling can do to improve the mood of yourself and the people around you.

Wake up at 5am. Sleep by 10. Makes a lot of positive difference.

You are sitting at your work station, you have to fart, but you are worried that the aroma will spread to your co-workers...

Solution : fart and then quickly bend down to the level of your ass, pretend to itch your leg or tie your shoe maybe, And inhale as much of your fart as you can!!!

Ask someone how their day was, sometimes they just want to tell someone they had a good/bad and maybe you’ll find yourself getting closer with them.

Semi-related: people don't seem to understand, I'm not talking behind your back, I'm just not talking to you

Judge less

Drink more water regularly

Saying please and thank you to any kind actions someone does for you makes each other’s day better and have a better attitude overall

Have a roof over your head. Drink lots of water, dont eat fake ass food, go outside and be active, go to bed at a reasonable time. Be nice. I thinks that covers quite a few of maslows needs right there.

Haven't seen it yet (unless I just missed it) but not buying shit you don't need/can't afford. So many people of all ages buy tons of shit they don't need/can't afford and then wonder why they can't afford a $500 emergency. If you make $75k a year as a household, maybe don't have $100k worth of vehicles...

The moment you wake up do a minuet of push-ups

nah fuck that. I can barely walk when i wake up but i can do 40-50 pushups after im awake

Relax

Organize their stuff, actually helps for me, your mind feels cleaned and you can calm down easier.

Be more out in the sun. I have been dealing with depression lately and decided to be more outside, really helps my mood just to sit on the grass and be out in the sun

Stop drinking soda.

a little bit of yoga at home. it won’t magically make you lose weight or change your views on the universe, but it really helps with feeling more relaxed and de stressing.

Drink a pint of water before that morning coffee.

Eating healthier. As an American, I see people eating utter shit as early as 6am and they wonder why their health isn’t where it should be and they seem to always be in a bad mood

Dont rely on other people.

Give me money

Sleep a regular schedule and don’t stay up all night. I often slept 4-5 hours and thought I was “fine,” turns out I was super grouchy all the time. Even getting a regular 5-6 has helped me tremendously.

Stop worrying about everyone else and focus on yourself. Do what is right for you. That is, if it is good and will help you grow.

Shower regularly

Eat better food. Ditch as much processed food as possible. Ditch the pop

Clean their house.

Good hygiene. Apparently it is closely linked to looking hot! Who would've thought?!

Quit smoking. Truthfully lots of psychological benefits on top of the physical.

Learn to walk places. Is there a gas station on your street? Walk to it each day and back home and buy something small like a small bag of peanuts or an arizona. Gets you some fresh air, excersize, and you'll see people who walk their dogs and you can ask to pet the doggo. Always a plus while on a walk.

Think of why an employee somewhere is asking you something. Don't just be a cunt and shoot off on them because they may be asking you something you think is stupid.

Celery juice

Go to the dentist every half year.

Quit or cut down bad habits. Smoking, laziness, drinking, smoking weed.

Sometimes we think too much about things we need to start doing and we forget about the things we need to stop doing. Ever since I cut down on smoking weed (used to smoke every day; one joint in the afternoon, one after work, 2-3 at night) and tobacco, I've found how much free time I actually have and also have a lot more energy to be able to use that time more effectively. I've started working out again, going out to see friends more often, and just generally managing my time better.

Brush your goddamn teeth people. I know too many friends with awful teeth because they were bad brushers and flossers when in their young ages. It's a simple 2-3 times a day process.

Find a hobby to occupy time, use caffeine (in tea or coffee or energy water), and or someone that make you feel good. This really helps with psychological withdrawals of Marijuana

at least with me

Move your body. You don’t have to Stark a strict workout routine from nothing. But start by just moving your body a few minutes a day.

Be kind.

Get organized

Smile more!!

Take the Steps to Knowledge.

MAURICIO MACRI going to jail.

He has 209 legal cases, and its the president of Argentina :(

It’s a waste of time..people faces are always buried in their phones nowadays.

Stop with the heroin.

Learn something!

Meditate

Regular Exercise. Join a league or school of a sport you have never played before.

Read more.

Stop caring about what others think of you.

Workout, just running for 10 min every other day can improve ones mental health drastically

Stop drinking anything but water. After the fourth/fifth day it'll be super easy and you'll see how much better you're mentally feeling

Exercise, and to a lesser degree diet.

Literally nothing can have a bigger impact on your overall health and wellness than just exercising a few times a week.

r/waterniggas

Meditate. There is no high like the one you get from being able to learn to quiet the chatter in your head and sit in silence. Having to deal with my cancer diagnosis the last few years, I am so thankful to have found this light in my life. There are tons of guided meditation apps, I suggest everyone try it, you’ll be hooked after the first time and never look back. Life changing

Fitness is a huge deal, as is diet.

Three things that can change your life.

Exercise for a half hour to an hour a day, or at least 4 times a week. This doesn't need to be rigorous, but even if you throw on headphones and walk for a half hour, or take your SO out for a walk every few days. Being active changes your state of mind.

​

Limit your soda intake. That is one of the biggest causers of weight gain. If you limit yourself to only having soda when you're at a restaurant and drinking water at home, you'll see a huge shift in energy.

​

Ditch potato chips and replace them with SHELLED peanuts. They're still a salty snack, but they're so much healthier. Plus, by being shelled, you force yourself to take time between eating on, even if you pick one up after eating the last. This way you'll cut down on the actual intake.

Join a socialist group of friends.

Drink only water. It’s not hard, keeps you hydrated and awake, and maybe lose a few pounds in the processes

Drink more water

So a bit of backstory, I have depression and some bad anxiety, and they always used to get the best of me. I’d sit in my room all day and do nothing. Then I started getting out, and doing some things. Just going and getting into the forest or a park, going for a walk or drive, just relaxing stuff like that, helped me a lot with that stuff. Then I made the decision the join the Marines, and I’ve been working out a lot. I’d say start working out, because you gain confidence you wouldn’t believe when you do. At this point, I’m happier and more confident, because I’ve been getting out and working out. Another thing is to just compliment people, and always try to force a smile. Studies have shown that even forced smiles make endorphin rushes easier, and so just smiling when you see people makes both you and them happier. Oh and try to always meet new people, and try to be confident in it. I have a lot of good connections that will help me later in life because of that, and I’ve gotten brave enough to ask my best friend, who I’ve had a crush on for like 5 years, on a date.

TL;DR I went outside, worked out, smiled and said hi to more people.

Learn gratitude. Changes the way you view everything! Hard situations turn into lessons, you feel compassion for rude people and you start to really love the person staring back in the mirror.

Just go for a half hour walk most days.

23 and 1/2 hours: What is the single best thing we can do for our health?

The most important take-away from it is that we can optimize our health by simply walking 20-30 minutes a day...no need for running or swimming or cycling, or anything vigorous, because research doctors have found that vigorous workouts don't improve health to a greater degree than walking does...they may build endurance and fitness capacity to higher, but unless we're going to be athletes or competitors, we don't really need to do that. Walking alone drastically improves health and longevity, as well as mental health.

Especially interesting parts start at 4:34, where he talks about "recommended dose", pointing out at 4:46 that "the rate of return seems to decline after 20-30 minutes per day"; that going from zero activity per week to just one hour per week reduces heart disease by almost half, and when he comments that higher intensity is only necessary to reduce the amount of time you spend exercising (so you can jog for 15 minutes, or walk for 30 but jogging/running/any more intense exercise isn't any better for your health than walking).

Also, the benefits of walking extend beyond exercise: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2012-08-benefits.html

Get 8 hours of sleep and go to bed and awaken at the same time every day.

Daily tasks like Flossing, praying, and texting your parents/siblings to see how their day is can be a very productive way to improve mental and physical hygiene

Refrain from reacting to everything with emotions. Take a breath, think on it, react in the best possible way.

Emotions can be a simple flash in the pan, but can end up burning down the kitchen.

This isn't to say, be an impossibly stoic asshat, but take a moment to think about what is happening and then react.

Buy an L shape pillow

Drink more water

Not take themselves too seriously. Oh, and in public places don’t talk so fucking loud that everyone around can hear you.

You shouldn't care about what people say when they're trying to get you down. They're words are hollow and mean nothing. The sooner you dont take what they say personally the better

Avoid being negative as much as possible. The least you can do if you can't be positive is to just not be negative.

Clean your house/apartment/dorm/room/car.

Don't be an asshole.

Wake up early at 6:00am everyday.

Use a sleep-calculator. I use this one. Determine your bedtime if you need to wake up at a fixed time or determine your wake-up time shortly before going to sleep.

It makes you so you wake up during a REM-phase which you will feel way better the next day instead of waking up during deep sleep.

Having a weekly event that involves exercise and fun! For me it's a big game of ultimate Frisbee on Sundays and regularly rock climbing.

Take a nap

Sleep enough

Keep your room/house/car clean.

This makes one of the biggest impacts with the smallest effort.

Drink water.

Breathing and shitting.

Tell the truth.

Exercise. Run as much as you can

Get 8 hours of sleep every night.

Focus on needs more than wants.

You don't need an Xbox.

You don't need a new phone.

You don't need fast food.

You don't need a brand new car.

You don't need a new/expensive home.

You don't need most things you think you do.

Delete Reddit

Drink water! Sounds stupid but some people need a reminder.

Watch less TV.

The same question was asked like a week ago and was the top post. Why can’t people come up with original questions

Shower

Have a bath or shower regularly. Kept on top of hygenie. The better you feel externally the better you feel inside and helps you help others more

Die

Crack and masturbation binges

Stop overthinking.

Learn to cook

Save money and it’s healthsr

Be nice

Smoke Weed

Drink a lot of water

You should get a full night’s sleep.

Go to the gym, stop eating teake away and junk food.

Exercise

Stop browsing social media

  1. Get good sleep at night

  2. Eat healthy

  3. Keep your hygiene up

  4. Find a hobby or something that you can enjoy in your spare time

  5. Try to be kind

  6. Try to be emphatic to other people. Don’t get too involved in others people sorrows but don’t just ignore it

  7. Volunteer time to an animal shelter, or homeless kitchen or seniors home or at a hospital to hold babies. Or if you have a talent or profession that you can volunteer to the above

  8. Don’t take your self to seriously but in the same breath try to find little ways to improve yourself

  9. If you don’t have a secondary education or no HS diploma get your GED or go to a community college for some secondonary educational or technical schooling

Stop dwelling on what you could have/should have/would have said in a conversation, confrontation, whatever.

Nobody remembers if it was awkward, or silly, or nonsensical. People are too busy with their own shit - they aren't going to remember a comment you made one time 3 years ago

Cold shower first thing every morning. Starting the day by doing something you despise makes the day’s other tasks that much easier by comparison.

Buy a decent pillow. You’ll be amazed how much better your quality of sleep is.

Cry at home and not in school

Create a comprehensive playlist of every song that gets you pumped, and constantly add to it. Even if you're skipping songs after a while you can always flag and remove what gets repetitive.

Punctuality is also one thing to make life better.

Make your bed every morning. Even if your day was your worst day yet, you’ll feel like you at least accomplished one thing.

Spend at least 30 mins per day outside even if the weather is crummy or you are tired.

Does this question show up at least once a month?

Walk for 30 minutes a day

Purchase a journal (or notes on your phone)

1- write down your goals for the day, week, month, year etc

2- write a list of your various traits/characteristics you aspire to have as well as those you want to eliminate

3- use those traits as drivers on a daily basis to complete whatever tasks, small or large

4- Reflect on your progress intermittently

This is will give you something tangible to reference as you progress along your journey, whatever that may be

Start exercising. Any form, any way. Make it a habit, you’ll be on your way to living a more functional life in your old age.

Always be involved in something you enjoy, like music. Not only will it make you happier, you will feel more motivated.

Always drink water.

Drink water

Trade your smart phone for a basic flip phone.

Get on a steady sleep schedule.

Push ups, simple and effective

Clean up your living space. Rearrange it every so often.

Gratitude!

Clean your bloody room.

I will now murder this old Irish proverb (adapted for modern ears):

​

O'Hara made 1000 Euro, spent 1005, result, misery.

O'Mara made 1000 Euro, spent 995, result, happiness.

​

"Spend less than you make."

Donate the stuff you aren’t using such as clothes and get rid of clutter. Reduce the amount of alcohol you drink.

Get a hobby! Get two...hell, collect hobbies!

As an adult, I have learned that nearly 100% of the time I do not get along with people who don't have a hobby. I'm not sure why that is - but I can say with certainty that people with at least one hobby (in my experience) seem to be more well adjusted, interesting, curious, and engaging.

I think it has something to do with an ability to pour yourself into something that is outside of your "self."

Sub to pewdiepie🤣🤣🤣

Stop letting others play games with them

Breathe like Wim Hof does, its a routine that will take you about 20 minutes. Wim Hof climbed the mount everest in boxershorts. He says that you stimulate parts of your brain with oxygen that arent supplied with oxygen if you breath normal. That helps to develope a stronger immunesystem and more.

Since I'm doing that, I feel better overall and I didnt get ill.

Google him he did crazy stuff and is an awesome man!

haircut

Run.

BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH.

Brush, floss, mouthwash!

Make eco-friendly, non-toxic purchasing choices - on most things.

Get sleep. Climb in bed earlier and stop playing with your phone.

Go to sleep on time

Stop asking this question and just look at the other 100 times its been asked.

Work out.

Waking up. Just wake the fuck up, no one in the house will leave you a serving everytime you miss a fucking meal. Also, your mom will probably think you're dead if you don't.

Stretch daily. You'd be surprised how easily you can stretch anywhere you are, and the effects it has on your overall health

5 minutes of stretching in the morning

Smile

Drink water

Straight up enjoy their surroundings. People just go through life without looking around and it gets repetitive, so take some time to look around and enjoy the scenery cause its not always going to be there. I do this all the time and it really brightens up my day especially when there is a lot of troubles in my life, I stop and look around maybe even laugh at something corny but I enjoy it.

Invest.

Invest in your health. Invest in your education. Invest in your wealth.

Everything else is a distraction, which sometimes we need to stay sane, but if you arent investing, you are stagnating.

One thing I learned is do the small stuff right. Make your bed, clean up your house, get the small stuff done before you do the big stuff. It massively reduces stress, and it looks really nice

Read the comments here and do/follow what it says

You can start a new hobby by watching YouTube videos and subbing to a related subreddit.

In the last three years, I have gotten into traditional shaving (/r/Wicked_Edge), frisbee golf, mountain biking, whiskey, bullet journaling, Formula 1 racing, and fishing. It gives me new things to get excited about and build up some knowledge of things I didn’t know about.

So now I’m saving money shaving every morning, getting better shaves, and getting a little time for meditation and reflection. I also get the occasional compliment on my aftershaves, which I didn’t think was ever going to be a thing.

I’ve been mountain biking nearly every weekend, which is helping keep me sane, giving me a great excuse to exercise, and helping me make friends.

The frisbee golf thing is only just starting, but for twenty bucks and a trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods, it’s cheap outdoor fun.

Bullet Journaling (/r/BulletJournal) turned out to be the best agenda planning system I’ve ever used. It works great with my ADHD.

The point is, you can get into something new by finding the right YouTube channel and asking some questions on a subreddit. And there’s no reason not to.

Drink more water.

Be honest and try to never lie. No matter how small you think it is

don't drink

Drink more water. Meditate for 5 minutes everyday. Be more active, even if it’s just getting up and moving more. Get more sleep, stop drinking alcohol a few hours before bed - stop drinking alcohol frequently.

Sit down and seriously ask yourself, " what are 5 things that I do, that I probably shouldn't be doing?" Then stop doing those things.

You should have 3 types of hobbies. One to keep your mind sharp, one to keep your body fit, and one to relax. Your life will significantly improve

At least once a month, I try to learn a new recipe. Even if you're a beginner, there's always something that's at your skill level. But it's really satisfying to bite into whatever you baked or cooked and never made before, and just think "oh my goodness I just made this. I'm really proud of myself." Then once you get a recipe you like down, share it with people. In my experience, food always makes people happy. Then in return, those people are happy to you. It's a win win

Positive thinking. Negitive thinking leads to pessimism and procrastination.

Quit nicotine and hit the gym. Sounds stupidly simple but it really is the fucking best thing I ever did in my life.

Self development. Strive to develop yourself all the time. Not necessarily big things but little small habits etc.

Not think of others talking about you in a bad way/not thinking of others opinions in your life decisions (unless you actually ask them)

Exercise, exercise, exercise!

Wipe their ass.

get off of reddit. :p

Unsubscribe everything!

Easy. Get a dog :)

Run

Stop eating out.

Die

Obligatory, not a Buddhist. Start studying Buddhism. Helps you to be more content, remember what’s important, stop comparing yourself to others and start living a life of simple happiness.

Link below: link to Scientific study finding buddhism reflects a lot of the same things found that make people happier.

https://www.learning-mind.com/buddhist-beliefs-happy-science/

Drink water exclusively, not sodas. Helps with weight loss.

Talk and argue less. Even if you think someone elses opinion is wrong, shut up and ignore them. That way, you won’t be involved in all of that unnecessary drama and trouble

Swap coffees, energy drinks and fizzy pop for water

Eat better.

Floss daily.

Develop habits. Save the random for fun.

Live in the present, let go of the past

Do skipping for 5 mins on an empty stomach.

Floss

Try to take on a hobby that requires going outside. For me, during my horrible depressed streak, everything I did was contained within the confines of my bedroom. I took up skateboarding and have never been happier. Met new people, got to see the world in a different way.

Clean up their room.

Walk.

Drink more water.

Assume nothing (service, material, virtual, respect, etc) are free: everything requires equilibrium

If you wear glasses... also get a pair of prescription sunglasses. Being able to see clearly in the sun makes a world of difference!

Be active

Stretch. I don't do it enough and my muscles are super tight

This very late to the game but cut your sandwiches diagonally.

Makes the sandwich 10x better. Guaranteed.

Drink the recommended amount of water and go for walks/runs

Take a half hour to hour walk a nearly every day. And don't slow walk either, walk like you are trying to get somewhere.

Have a 10-20minute nap in the middle of the day. That way you will be more awake during the rest of the day and sleep better at night.

You should also have a stright sleeping routine and sleep at least 7 hours a night. Research from the University of Leeds show that people who sleep 6h a night have a 3cm bigger weist circumference compared to people who sleep 9h a night. You can also develop health problems like low blood sugar, high blood pressure, obesity and diabetes.

As a teen with Narcolepsy (a sleeping disorder) i know how important sleep is.

Go for a walk every once in a while. It’s good for your health and does wonders to clear your head.

Learn to code

Drink more water and try to up your fiber intake. Really flushes out the unhealthy stuff from your system

Make your bed first thing in the morning!

Leave the public toilets clean.

Two things that have helped me a lot:

​

If you are trying to lose weight, eat out a fixed number of times per week and have whatever you want when you do it. It's super easy to lose track of how much you are eating out and end up consuming a ton of calories on meals you don't even want very much. Twice a week has been a good number for me.

Have an electronics blackout time at night, or if that's too hard start with excluding social media. The blue light emitted by screens has been causally linked to greater difficulty sleeping and sleeping less deeply. Facebook, Reddit, ect do not care about your sleep, their profit model focuses on keeping you on the site just a bit longer.

MOVE. Whether it's exercise or going to do something constructive in the mornings. You become more proactive about life when you do this.

Stop drinking soda and run at least twice a week for 10 mins

Plan your day, don’t just wake up and go to work ... get up early do something you like, listen to good music and have a plan so you can get things done and feel accomplished!

Psychedelics.

Eat less. Obesity is the norm and makes you feel crappy. Eat less, save money, be healthier, feel better

Make meals from scratch. Yes it takes time, but eating real food makes you feel so much better because you get the nutrients you need for both brain and body to function optimally.

Because we eat so much crap processed food in the West there is actually a rise in malnutrition. We are calorie rich, but nutritionally poor.

Stop thinking about that girl who doesnt like you back.

Talk to more people? I think it helps cuz meeting new people... different perspectives.

Taken from 12 Rules for Life:

1 Stand up straight with your shoulders back

2 Treat yourself like you would someone you are responsible for helping

3 Make friends with people who want the best for you

4 Compare yourself with who you were yesterday, not with who someone else is today

5 Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them

6 Set your house in perfect order before you criticise the world

7 Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)

8 Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie

9 Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t

10 Be precise in your speech

11 Do not bother children when they are skate-boarding

12 Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

Do the right thing when no one is watching. Putting the shopping cart in the corral, pick up that piece of trash, give a French fry to that bird; stuff like that. Little moments when the urge to do something nice comes to you.

I often think about doing it at the moment, try to forget it for convenience's sake, and then feel bad about it later. But whenever I actually take the time to do it, I feel good. Like, if I was to die an hour from now, at least I did that one good thing for someone else that one time.

Meditation

You misspelled masturbation.

Talk to yourself infront of the mirror.

Eat fruit. Really good for digestion and has tons of nutrients and is naturally sweet.

Get healthy amounts of sleep.

Contribute to a 401K. Especially if your employer will match.

Go to a gym. Or eating healthier

A full sleep cycle is 1.5 hrs so pattern your sleep in 1.5 hr increments.

Look straight ahead when walking

not intentionally distance oneself from other people

complain about as few things as possible

not use self deprecating humour

Drink more water

Listen. Like, properly listen to what people say. When counselors say that communication is key to any relationship, it's because it is.

We have a tendency to be self centered, not always because we mean to, but it just is. We want to be sure to get our own viewpoint across, that we often forget listening. This leads to assumptions, talking past each other, and many other negative interactions. If we stop, listen, and analyze, we're more informed, and can still get our viewpoint or version across, but now with added insight and context.

Accept yourself for who you are.

We need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys, becuse these babby cant fright back? It was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids, they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest. my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden ; i am truley sorry for your lots

I started taking a bubble bath on Sunday nights. During that time I don’t allow myself to use my phone at all (unless it’s just to check the time) and spend that time just relaxing and reading a book.

I find that it’s a great way to relax before the work week starts and just forces me to take some time for myself.

Imagine that every person you meet is your child and treat them accordingly.

Eat healthy.

Drink more water.

Avoid eating junkfood

Drink water

Make your bed in the morning

Making your bed, makes the rest of the day productive

Drink water.

A lot of things in life feel backwards, like we are doing the opposite of what nature wants us to do, but overall can make our bodies feel better, make us feel better about ourselves, and set us up for more good decisions tomorrow.

​

I tell myself (and my body tells me) that I'm too tired to exercise, but I know that 30 minutes of exercise is going to make me feel better for 23.5 hours. It's going to help me sleep better so I'm better rested. It's going to make me more productive, and I'll live longer - ultimately giving me MORE time to do the things I want to do.

​

I tell myself that I have no time to read a book, but I know that a few pages before bed will help me sleep better, give me new perspectives, make me more balanced and knowledgeable, improve my ability to put words together.

​

I tell myself that I have to eat NOW because my body is hungry, but I know that if I make a proper healthy meal rather than snacking on the fastest and least-healthy food, I'll be more full for longer and I'll actually give my body the nutrients it needs rather than just distend my stomach to deactivate the "HUNGRY" signal.

​

It's the human tragedy that we have the intellect to remember the past and plan for the future, yet we must contend with the evolved messages our bodies send us in the present.

Clean your room.

  • Pulling out of a pointless argue, it may feel like losing, but you know better.
  • Remember "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity", especially in traffic where mistakes are sometimes made.

Actually, your question is the answer. After you complete a task, take some time to reflect and ask yourself "Could I have done that better?" I got this advice early in my career and it's been incredibly helpful on the job and personally.

Drink a glass of water every morning

Expand your circle.

The circle encompasses everything you can do, you just need to do one simple, but not necessarily easy thing: make it bigger.

This makes life better in various ways. It makes you happier, helps you meet people, gives you purpose and makes you more valuable to more people. Women dig men with big circles, employers look for big circles. It's that circle you point at when you ask for a pay rise.

Make it bigger, and more circular. Balance your brilliance against the skills that people who share that brilliance tend to lack. If you're a programmer, learn how to read and persuade people. If you're a skater learn about investing. Get better and better at more diverse things and you'll be happy and loved and needed and paid.

Stop littering.

Always at least walk down the stairs.

Might not seem like much but the little tiny bit of exercise really helps when your stuck in an office 40+ hours a week

Stop littering.

You know that feeling when you wake up, you're free for the day and you feel like the only thing you can do today is just getting behind your computer?

Try and get yourself out of the door, just walk for a bit. It'll make you feel so much better just to be outside for a short while.

Maintain a tidy and flattering hair style. Best hair can make most outfits look deliberate, makes you more approachable, boosts your confidence when you look in the mirror, and makes you feel more put together and willing to leave the house.

Be hard on yourself.

Sounds counterproductive but pretend you’re your own leader, and expect a lot from yourself.

If you can: walk to places you'd normally drive/bus.

Example: I normally take the bus to work. It's almost a 40 minute walk, so I don't do it often, but when it's nice out, those are the best 40 minutes of my day. Pop in some headphones, turn on music that makes you feel good, soak in the sun... (Just make sure you leave the house early enough to get to work on time, or your walk becomes a run.)

Reduce your sugar intake. I'm not talking about going on a diet. Try to stop drinking sugary drinks, candy, even foods with loads of sugar. I now only try to eat natural sugars like in fruit and honey. It's made a difference on my energy levels throughout the day.

Start eating better, lots of things will come from that.

Drink more water. Trust me. You're probably not drinking enough.

drink water instead

Drink a bottle of water everyday.

End it

Skip breakfast

You have every right to take what you want so long as it's honest and not hurting others in the process.

Ah, the daily occurrence of this question.

Meditation.

Clean your room

Quit drinking

Start planning your day before you go to bed, and set a MOST IMPORTANT TASK (MIT) for the day that you will not compromise on.

Get more sleep :)

The key to a happy life is simple. Spend less than you make, and avoid borrowing money.

25 push ups and sit-ups a day

Stop caring about celebrities and other people who are not in your life. First, they are not part of your life. Second, when you give them your time and energy you are denying people who actually care about you that time and energy. When I hear people getting worked up about who got what award (Grammy/Emmy/Oscar) or who movie star X is dating I get sad for the people who care about them. Care about people who care about you.

Wake up earlier

Be excellent to each other and party on dudes.

Avoid drama, drink water, be positive (small but very hard to do)

Honestly, just doing anything at all that you believe is bettering your life. This belief will give you confidence, make you feel renewed after doing said activity. If you feel like it will better you, it WILL better you.

Take care of your teeth.

have an actually good sleep schedule.

A fan for when you’re sweaty

It's not super simple, but here recently I've kinda stop caring (not worrying might be a better term) about things that I can't control. There's no reason to stress about stuff. I used to be scared to death that I'd get fired from work for x reason and what not...anymore I know I'll make it out alive based off family and friends. Life sucks enough as it is, don't sweat the small stuff.

Correct your posture. Nothing is going to hurt you more in 40 years if your posture is not correct.

Drink Water

Show up on time - to anything and everything. It relieves so much stress on yourself always rushing to get somewhere. It also shows that you have respect for the other person with whom you are meeting up.

Eat breakfast

Stop watching porn. I gave up porn when I met my now wife and I would never ever go back. My sense of mindfulness and self-esteem is at an all time high.

Meditation.

Spending time relaxing. Stop avoiding your issues through distractions like (for example) Netflix, YouTube or Instagram.

It will really make a difference.

Realize that the mistakes you have done are done and the past is the past. It won’t make you feel or make you as a person any better if you go around worrying or being sorry about them.

Instead focus on the fact that yes you regret them which means that you won’t do the same mistake again and you have realized what you did wrong so therefore you can’t be that bad of a person. Yes you did some dumb shit but you can’t change that and your are a better person now. Go on with life and try to live in the now and be happy.

Be thankful. Everyday.

Floss

Exersize

Have no regrets

Give yourself a solid sleeping schedule. It’s amazing how much better you feel. As well as just being more productive.

Start drinking constantly throughout the day

Get out of bed right now.

Clean your room! (I’m also saying this advice to myself)

Make an effort to eat at least one healthy meal a day. Healthy as in: carbs, protein, fats. I started out doing that just once a day, and it began to be something I looked forward to in my day. Then eventually branched out to trying new veggies and other foods, and realized to my dismay how many healthy foods out there I surprisingly enjoy

Let go of your pride and in all instances do not escalate the situation.

Road rage is a big one. Yeah, you had the right of way, yeah he is an idiot driver but you could have swerved rather than prove a point and have a smashed up car.

People just need to relax.

Everyone's posting things, and there's a lot of good advice here, but what so many people don't do is to actually do it. Do you want to go to the gym? Make it your #1 priority, and make yourself do it. Actually get off the couch or chair, get in your car, and get to the gym. Or the library. Or the grocery store, or whatever your goal is. It's so easy to read this thread and agree with the postings, and then close it and do nothing. DO SOMETHING.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

If you're feeling sluggish or a bit off and you can't explain what the issue is, keep a log for a month or two where you track everything you eat, how much sleep you get, and your energy levels, pain/discomfort and mood throughout the day.

You'll likely begin to notice patterns, which can help you make changes that will get you back to a higher level of functioning.

It might be that certain foods trigger physical discomfort or fatigue, or maybe you'll find that you function optimally with a certain amount of sleep and much more or less is a problem. Or if you menstruate, you might notice that your energy and moods are more deeply tied to your cycle than you realized or that you're affected at different points in your cycle than just your period.

This is how I discovered that a certain food I never would have thought of (peas of all things) was causing my gastrointestinal upset, and that although wheat and dairy don't bother me in small amounts, when I eat too much of either I begin to feel very sluggish. So now I know to avoid peas and to stick to only a couple sandwiches or pieces of toast a week instead of a bagel every morning, and popcorn as my go to snack instead of cheese and crackers.

It's also how I discovered that my mood dips about a week before my period every month, and that I function best on 8 hours of sleep.

Exercise!

Clean their room.

Complements! Not just to those around you, but also to yourself. Just going about my day and saying nice small things to friends and even strangers helped their day out, and my as I felt better. But also, take the few seconds to see the good in YOURSELF as well. Even if it’s small, this helped me re-acquire a positive perspective in my life, and I’m sure it can help others too. Once you are telling yourself good things, you can make more things happen to yourself and those you care about.

Anytime you pick something up from a retail store or any store for that matter put it back if you don't want it anymore. I'm sure it would be helpful towards the people working there.

Learn to say no to people. You can't please everyone

Shorten your commute. https://www.newsweek.com/work-commute-be-happy-pay-cut-692047

Staying active

Write shit down

Stop drinking sugary drinks.

Theres only one kind of baby daddy that ain't gonna stick around. Only one kind of uber driver you'd best avoid. And one gender of employee that files sexual harassment claims.

Yoga + Pranayam 😇

Give to a charity after some good research

Take the small victories if you're not getting a big victory, positive attitude about my small victories led to my big victories.

Cleaning my place for ten minutes after I get home from work everday. Set a timer; clean for ten minutes. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.

It's awesome because I absolutely hate cleaning, but there isn't much to clean because I do a little bit everyday. I just pick up where I left off the next day.

Work out regularly - even if you do a simple half hour/forty minutes at the gym two or three times a week.

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

Find you wife's g-spot

Running their own life (not letting people control their life and minding their own business not controlling people’s lives)

meditate for 15 minutes a day every day.

Drink water, more than you think you need

be nice and respectful to other people

Make a routine of putting one piece of toilet paper on the toilet before "go-time". Saved me countless times!

I know some of you will say it's stupid or not "easy" like the title.

Positive thinking.

True it can be exhausting sometimes and not always the right thing, you get to be sad and annoyed or aggravated but positive thinking changed my life for the better.

Makes you calmer, stress isn't an issue all the time and you get to appreciate different things.

Sounds hippy, but it worked for me.

Learn to breathe properly. Lots of illnesses can be avoided.

clean your room... seriously it helps in the long term, i fail a lot on this part, but when i do its sometimes a lifechanger

Improve organization. Seriously. Use a planner, or write a to-do list as soon as you think of something.

practice proper posture.

Treat your body good. Give it what it needs.

Start working out, or some sport in general.

It really makes you feel better and you are actually doing something productive.

This ties into and helps you achieve a lot of the top rated comments: Keep a schedule.

Make sure to stay in contact with the people you care about the most. Especially if you don’t see them frequently.

Drink more water.

Make your bed everyday. It doesn't matter what time it is, just make your bed at some point in your day.

Find joy in the little things. Know that in the end, everything is going to be okay. It’s so easy to get caught up with how bad things are in life. Try to focus and stay positive. Music helps me stay calm. Mental health is a huge thing also. Take time to reflect on your day and try to comprehend why you feel a certain way. That helped me with my depression.

Excercise at least a little bit every day. I also watch movies while I run, so that knocks out another thing. There are a lot of movies I want to watch but haven't gotten around to

Become more optimistic Stop lying

Get a new certification. In almost every field there are one week courses that you can take that'll result in a certification that you can add to your resume. Employers love them because they show you have a commitment to continuous learning

Ask for a raise.

Smile.

regular exercise, even just stretching. Our bodies are built for motion. our thin haired bodies allow us to sweat more efficiently than any other animal, and our skeletal and muscle structure is build for endurance rather than speed.

in the wild we would wake up in the morning, have a simple meal of leftovers from the day before, then head out for most of the day, hunting, gathering, and making simple tools. we are just not built to be sitting still for long periods of time. sedentary life has been proven to lead to physical and mental health issues. Animals in a zoo get health issues from living in captivity, and modern day life can be seen as a form of captivity.

Drink less soda and drink more water

Take the stairs. Every little bit helps.

Brush your f*ckin teeth everyday

Be a better human being and stop judging and treating folks differently based on trivial things like their race, culture, looks. Be more compassionate and humane!! World will be so much better!

Clean your home. Living in a clean clutter free environment is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Shower

Drink more water.

Break an impossible task into smaller possible tasks and see how close to the impossible you can get. You'll be surprised.

buy a dog

Stop playing Melee, and be a wholesome person with real dreams.

Go to bed earlier and get up earlier. It makes such an amazing difference. Also, make to do lists for anything you do (dishes, making the bed, showering, laundry, tasks at work, etc). Crossing it off gives you satisfaction and motivation to keep going.

Stop smoking, your going to die John.

Wear a condom. So many people bitch about not having money, time to themselves, how much of a headache having kids is, and how draining their life is. Only if there was a magical device that could have changed all of that. Then after that bitch fest they ask me when I plan on growing up and having kids. Yeah. After that conversation I'll be sticking my balls into boiling water before I have a kid.

Take simple breaths.

Smile 😁

Drink more water. Have a big o' glass when you wake up. Add some lemon if you want. Drink water throughout the day. Add some fruit or other weird shit if you want, just drink more water and less pop or whatever sugary crap you do.

Believe in yourself. Full stop.

Mastrubate without guilt.

Cut toxic family members out of their life.

You don't owe family a damn thing.

Love yourself regardless, we all have flaws. Also, get some aerobic exercise, like BASF, it just makes everything better.

I think spending time with friends, just even round a drink or to play video games. A lot of elderly seem to see relationships are what we tend to regret most, not spending enough time around people we like.

Table manners.

Bedtime routine. Make it a set time after your last meal, or a set time each day; either works, both is best. The best formula for one that will stick and help you sleep better is this:

Clean yourself Pamper yourself Organise yourself Hydrate yourself Relax yourself

So for me, I wash myself and brush my teeth etc. For cleaning myself. Then I braid my hair into a comfy style, put on soft PJs, some handcream and nighttime moisturiser, and some lavender spray on my pillow Next is the to-do list; I scribble down any menial tasks that are popping to mind. Sometimes I also tidy my dresser to get my mind to shut up. Then a nice herbal tea that I make before I start so it's at perfect drinking temperature when I get to it And then a book, some music, or reddit on a screen without a back-light.

My brain now associates all of this with sleepy time and I sleep so quickly and easily and like a fucking baby, I'm rarely kept up by stupid thoughts, and my skin is much clearer. It improves your life so much and I guarantee you've got the majority of the stuff for a routine like this in the house, it's really simple to just set a phone alarm and go through the motions each night.

How about something you can do to make you Feel better about your life like volunteer work there’s all kinds of jobs that you can do in your spare time to help other people. Once you start to feel better about your life, then your life will start to become better.

drink more water :)

Keep your living space clean, organized, and smelling nice with air fresheners and/or candles. Life is stressful and depressing enough, but you can at least control your living space and make it a nice place to be.

Get outside more, crazy what fresh air can do for you

run

Drink more water, you'd be surprised how much more energy you have when your hydrated

I have a few haha 1. Wake up early 2 Exercise but do something you love! You don’t like running? Try a slow walk for thirty minutes. Not a fan of going outside? Get a box and step on and off it for thirty minutes while watching a film or something. 3. Be greatful, at the end of each day list what you’re thankful for 4. Do something for someone else each day. A small gesture like holding open a door or something bigger like volunteering with a local charity 5. Drink lots of water each day and smile even if you don’t feel happy

Drink more water. Be kind to people.

I can't tell you how many times I needed help from other people, and being kind has made them more willing to help.

Learn how to be more aware of yourself. Self-awareness is the first step to truly respecting and appreciating yourself. Being self-aware also plays a vital role in giving you the opportunity to grow and flourish.

When you are self-aware, it is so much easier to get clarity on important decisions. It is also crucial for determining boundaries when it comes to our relationships with others.

It is so important to learn about yourself, learn about how you’ve changed/are changing. Seeing a counselor really helps with this journey.

Get a planner and write things down. You’ll quickly find yourself free from a lot of stress and mental clutter.

Workout. That alone change everything about your life.

Make a schedule

floss

Meditate. Let go, just for 5 mins

Scheduling. Even if you don't do it regularly, it's good to fully schedule a day from time to time to get realistic about what you can do, how long things take, and prioritise what matters. People go around with vague ideas and just stumble through their days, they think they can leave their house at 17:59 and arrive by 18:00. It's completely fine to say you're going to spend 2 hours playing game but own it and decide rather than drifting along.

Drink more water and reserve soft drinks and such for special occasions. Also, clean your bloody room.

Stretch!

Just respect yourself and others. I think thats a good start.

Exercising

Drink more water

Haha

Not post this every 12 hours

Stay away from gachas

Drinking water.

Stretch, water, fuck doesn't have to be in that order but it may help

Employ a neutral-positive outlook

Understand nutrition.

Find out if you have any food allergies...

I believe Yoga and Gym are a great combo to have a better life

Buying buying bulk of essentials like Toilet roll, Bleach, detergant and long lasting foods. It saves you time and money long term. Also if you drink coffee/Tea consider getting bulk, better quality variety. As an every day drinker of coffee, at least enjoy something better than freeze dried crap with something better quality. Good quality for the most often used things improves your quality of life and enjoyment of utility more.

I live a 3 minute walk from a dollar store. I'd rather run a near-just-in-time inventory than have my house look like a fallout shelter.

Yes. having a 20 pack of toilet roll from costco and 1kg of high quality coffee beans makes your home a fallout shelter. The whole point is to improve life quality, not live out of a dollar store. If that works for you then good on you, but It never hurts to buy essentials to save on time if you have space.

Exercise

Leave 4-6 seconds of space between the car in front of you. This will help make your brakes last longer and is going to make it easier to avoid an accident if a problem occurs.

Six seconds in front of you is gonna get you cut off a lot. And make you use your brakes even more. Get rear-ended in the bargain too.

thats a little much space between 2 cars, usually 2 seconds are enough if you drive with open eyes you often can see when the one in front of you is going to use the brakes and so you can react very easily in time and even in cases of fully stopping if you watch ahead these 2 seconds should almost always be more then enough time to fully stop you car, ofc not with to high speed but if you are speeding you do not really care about 0.01 seconds space between the car in front of you or 20 seconds.

Mind their own business. LOL

Wash your bed sheets. At least weekly. Your matress also has washable parts. Remember to wash your pillow and blanket a few times a year.

Stop procrastinating and just do the things you’ve been avoiding. It’ll suck but you’ll feel so much better when you don’t have to worry about those things anymore.

Lower expectations.

Make pension contributions early

Get a good seat, bed and pillow.

Sleep with your phone in the other room

Stop using your phone while driving

Always make your bed in the morning! Might take a while to make it a habit but it’s a nice thing to do. Even if you’re in a rush, it only takes a few seconds.

Run just 10 minutes a day. No equipment needed, just comfy clothes. No excuses, no matter the weather. I lost 5 kg in the last 5 months thanks to it, and going to sleep is super easy

Don't hold in laughter. Laugh whenever you can (unless it is obviously going to upset everyone else, but even then it could end up making them laugh too so...)

Put good lotion on your face and hands daily

Stop eating processed food. If you can't look at it and tell what it is, don't eat it.

Oh and distance yourself from Satanism. Hurf durf mah 666

Self esteem is key. If you have good self esteem your quality of life improves exponentially. Create a positive affirmation for yourself and when you feel your self esteem taking a blow, recite your positive affirmation to reprogram your thought process.

Also if there is anyone around you who isn't adding to your self esteem, distance yourself from them so that you can get clarity as to who you really are. Surround yourself with people who encourage you.

I'm saying this as someone who allowed a "friend" of thirteen years to knock my self esteem. I had no idea how much she was impacting my self image. Our last fight two years ago (where after I lost my job she told me I deserved to lose my job) I cut her out of my life, blocked her etc. Without her in my life my self esteem jumped rapidly. It's only then that I realized that she felt threatened at the prospect of me having a healthy self esteem so she made it her job to keep it low.

With a healthy self esteem, navigating life is a lot easier.

Learn more about how the world works. Knowing about science and technology changes how you see everything.

As Carl Sagan said, "We've arranged a global civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology. We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. This is a prescription for disaster. We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces ... If we are not able to ask skeptical questions, to interrogate those who tell us that something is true, to be skeptical of those in authority, then we’re up for grabs."

Exercise. Eat Right. That will do it

start every day by making your bed.

Educate yourself. Whether that means going to school or just reading stuff online.

Be confident

Take out small amounts of their paycheck and set it aside as an emergency fund.

Started doing it and decided to put it towards my apartment. Also if you live in the midwest, it is good to have a piggy bank incase you bust a tire going over a pothole.

Be open to the fact that you could be wrong, and that’s ok. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow, not be stubborn and close-minded.

I find that if I don't look at the clock while I'm at work, it feels like im there for only half a shift.

Get a really comfortable mattress. A good night’s rest will do wonders.

Drink water, swim,

Meet the love of their life.

Wake up 1 hour earlier

Start your day with the toughest or most challenging thing that you have to do. For example- I hated doing expense reports (I use to travel alot) so it would take me 2 hours to complete one. I would put it off...for weeks until I was on the bad list! I finally changed and carved out that time first thing in the morning and the stress went away!

Lol asked this question like a month ago and got like 2 upvotes...yayayayayyayayaya

Eat and sleep, I don’t do those things and I feel like shit so clearly that’s what helps

Develop a routine, plan and execute, keep on dreaming and fighting!

Be prepared to inconvenience yourself and do things you don't want to do in order to better your life

Learn to delay satisfaction, even just for a few hours. Like yes, I want to just come home and get stoned, but if I wait until I’ve accomplished even a minor task to do so it feels like a reward. You stop feeling guilty for indulging, because you actually earn it :)

Rewarding yourself outside of work with meaningful things like hobbies and projects that you enjoy doing.

Epictetus (55-135 AD) ,summed it up through his work. That unhappiness is generated, by worrying about things that ultimately, one has no control over. Thus, the first thing, is to allow yourself time, to know oneself and your environment. Then, it is only an ongoing, lifetime quest, to better the self, so that the surrounding environment benefits.

CLEAN YOUR ROOM

Better the lives of others in meaningful ways.

Drink more water

Wake up earlier like 5am it gives you time to wake up say if you have to leave at 8am you have 3 hours rather than 7 with 1h

Be excellent to eachother

Wake up early

Wake up in the morning and say today is going to be a good day, I am so happy to be alive, thank you. And “literally”keep that same energy all day

Make your bed. Every single morning. It begins the day in a productive way, plus it gives you a nice made bed to come back to at the end of the day. It can be the worst day ever, but you'll still come back to a welcoming made bed. It's small things like this that change your life.

10 pushups a day. Takes no time and gets you pumped for the day.

Give up

Take pride and your appearance. A little effort to maintain a decent clean look does wonders for self esteem which ripples into the rest of your experiences.

Don't spend too much money.

waterpik

not trying to hype up a specific brand, but I just got one and would recommend it for anyone who doesn't floss daily. it does like a weeks worth of flossing in one go. i feel better than a dentist visit after a good waterpikking.

Just stop being so sad all the time.

/s

Repost downvote please

Best comment here

Pay off their $1000 debt to the MVA and get their car running again. Maybe I’m projecting

Go to sleep

Take a walk everyday. Doesn't matter if it's down your street and back, around the block, or a mile. Just get outside, get some fresh air. I'm amazed at how much better I feel when i started just talking a walk after work everyday. First it was just to the Walgreens down the street, but now I'll walk pretty much anywhere that isn't more than a 5 minute drive from my house.

Read.

Do something to help someone else. There is something empowering about helping another, and it delivers greater joy than doing something for oneself.

Ask your self quantifiable questions. Ex. don’t ask “Am I intelligent enough”, it’s open ended and can never be answered with a yes. Instead ask “Am I intelligent enough to solve x”. Framing your introspective questions like this, sparks imagination, and boosts your self esteem:)

Exercise 30 minutes three times per week.

Shower everyday

I really enjoyed reading The Four Agreements. I know its not for everyone, but it really does break down to some easy points. My favorite:

"Be Impeccable with your Word".

If you say you're going to do something, then do it. Don't make promises you intend to break, and if you agree to something you can't fulfill, be honest and upfront about it.

Get a job and work hard

When you're a customer at an establishment, whether it's a restaurant, store, the post office, whatever, ask the person that's helping you "How are you doing?" or "How has your day been so far?". You would be so surprised at how impactful that question can be to someone who has helped dozens of people that never thought to treat them as a person, rather than just someone that's there to help them. It makes me sad when someone tells me "Thanks for asking, you're the first person to ask today!". But also happy. It often makes whatever transaction is happening better in some way. Maybe you get more refills on your drinks. Maybe the person at the register tells you about a coupon you missed. Maybe you get a smile in return. My friends that come shopping with me think it's incredible that I make conversation with the people that are ringing up my purchases. Why is this an uncommon thing?!

Meditation ! 10mn for yourself everyday and you'll see improvments at every levels.

Work out. It doesn’t have to be to the point of competitive bodybuilding or running marathons or biking the Tour de France. Just spend 30 minutes a day doing something - running, lifting, biking. Even starting at 30 minutes 3 times a week is extremely helpful and anybody should be able to fit that in.

It’s a circular loop of benefits. At first it mostly benefits your physical health. Then as you get better and more fit, you start to see and feel results it benefits your mental health, which also further benefits your physical health.

Sobriety and exercise

Eat well and exercise.
It’s annoying that i deal with really terrible anxiety and depression which makes it really hard to accomplish those two simple things but, those two simple things would actually help me A LOT with all of my health issues, including the depression and anxiety.

Exercise

Go to bed early/on time. Make sure you're getting at least eight hours.

I like to get into bed thirty minutes before I go to sleep and read. Sometimes it means something doesn't get done around the house, or I don't get to watch a movie I wanted to see, or an episode of my show that I was excited about, but that stuff will all be there tomorrow. It's more important to get enough rest!

Workout.

Approach new people and situations with good posture and confidence. This drastically changed my life for the better.

Stay positive and assume the best in people. The majority of people have good intentions regardless of how they may come across. Also, when in arguments, don’t yell. Nothing will solved that way. If need be, walk away from the situation for a little while until you’re calm and level-headed. I just recently started incorporating these things into my life and I have become a much happier person.

Get one of those straps that prevents sheets from rolling up at the edges.

I reward myself with manga and figures (proud otaku)

Take the extra minute to put your toothbrush, etc. back so you don't have to do it later.

Treat yourself if you can afford it and you deserve it. Have fun, travel, make memories with your better half, family or friends. Money come back, time doesn’t.

Breathing.

Under-promise and over-deliver.

Make your bed. It starts off the day with a completed task and can have a snowball effect of completing more tasks throughout the day.

Look back on past achievements, sometimes when I’m struggling, I think back to 5-10 (or even more!) years ago & look at how much my life has changed since then. It gives me the motivation to know that I can still work towards my dreams, no matter how long it takes me.

Just be mindful most of the time

Exercise, sleep well, and eat right. These are the most important things for your well being.

Take care of your body. Eat well, get enough sleep and plenty of exercise. You don't need to be a gym rat or vegan by any means, but even a little cardio and a healthier diet (which if you are willing to learn to cook can be much tastier, nutritious and affordable than you think) can go a long way to improving your overall health and happiness.

Make your bed every morning. Very small thing, but for me it had huge impact.

Always be nice. Whatever you try to achieve, being nice may not always get you there, but when it does, it works way better and people apreciate you more.

Wash your dishes right after you eat.

Or if you have a dishwasher, load the dishes, put it on to rinse after breakfast and again after lunch. Put it on to wash after dinner/before bed. Unload clean dishes before breakfast.

Being grateful. Even just saying it to yourself, “I am grateful for the sunshine this morning” when your running late or in a shitty mood. At first it feels dumb and forced, then it becomes a habit and something that would normally trash your day doesn’t anymore.

I am very bad at seeing the negative in a situation, latching onto that detail and spinning it around until it consumes me. By making myself express gratitude I’ve flipped my whole mindset. I’m now looking at goals and not feeling overwhelmed but excited to reach them. I communicate better and am generally happier, I also naturally avoid drama with other people which is HUGE for me. All be cause I am grateful.

Make a morning and night ritual and try to sleep and wake at the same times

Take a 20 minute walk every day.

This may not be so little for some people, but stop smoking tobacco cigarettes.

Almost every person who I know that smokes tells me never to go near the things. Which tells me they want to quit but they struggle with the addiction.

There’s a cool radio advert I hear often and I think sends a strong messages. It goes something like this: pressure washer sound then someone screams ”MY TULIPS” and the line that is read goes something like this “you wouldn’t water your plants with a pressure washer.... you’d use the appropriate tool for the job! Same goes for quitting smoking... contact your local GP to find the appropriate tools you need to quit smoking”

If you want to quit smoking find the right way that suits you. Some people prefer cold turkey, where as some people like to substitute vaping as their source of nicotine. (Which btw whenever I walk past someone smoking I tend to hold my breath a little because I hate the stench but whenever I walk past someone vaping I tend to think “hmm that’s smells nice.. smells like blueberries”)

Besides saving a boat load of cash your also bettering your health and also bettering the community.

Summary: although quitting smoking might be hard, find the right way to do it and it gets a lot easier. And there’s many benefits if you succeed.

Good luck to you peeps trying to quit. I have faith you will do it!

Sit up straight, it really helps your posture

Make to-do lists, they dont have to be long, but its really nice to see what you have to do and what you still have to do.

Wake up early and work out.

Floss

Brush your teeth and floss. Doesn’t take much time and saves you a lot of time and money in the future.

Sleep, water, regular moderate exercise AND FUN! You need FUN

Genuinely think about why you do the things that you do.

What is the actual purpose? What is the goal of doing this action?

Too many people do things just because. It's performing actions to get through the day or task vs actual living.

Stand up straight.

Get up right away in the morning! I feel so much more energised if I just force myself out of bed right away. It was tough at first, but eventually I started waking up a bit before my alarm even went off and ready to start the day. It just helps set you up for success.

I also don’t do “sleep in” days and it’s helped my sleep schedule so much! Not many people would love that idea, though lol

Freaking budget and pay off debt. This has given me anything good in my life, house, good credit, new roof, dealing with emergencies, etc. It makes life much more simple and less stressful. The most stress I feel is when I have outstanding, revolving debt (credit card). Can it save you from everything? No, right now I still have about 15k in credit card debt just from bad choices, I lost sight of priorities after obtaining what I wanted from credit (car, house), depleted my savings and had multipke health emergencies but previous good choices have given me excellent interest rates with high spending limits, I dont have a credit card that has lower than 7k in spending, lowest interest is 8%. Also, make lists and learn to eat at home. Eating out is one of my biggest weaknesses because of my hatred of cooking but it really adds up at the end of the month. Go to a trade school instead of an academic college or at least, for the love of everything that is good, pick a freaking degree that will get you a job. Sometimes dreams cannot, feasibly, be followed, accept it, grow up and find another path.

Here is a kind of sketchy pro life tip but I do not like variable interest rates on cash advances with credit cards. Like literally my 8% interest rate jumps to 24% for cash advances. Use venmo between 2 accounts with yourself or someone you trust. Payments to someone else shows as a regular purchase at purchase interest rates (lowest, usually). There you go, cash advance, without cash advance penalties (higher interest and usually fees). I wouldn't do this too frequently. Im pretty sure its against the TOS for venmo and your credit card company wont like that you are cheating the system.

Meditate.

Get a pupper 🐾😍

r/stopdrinking . Better mental health, more savings, better health.

When you wake up in the morning open the blinds and just look outside for a few minutes even if it's sunny or whatever weather you guys in the UK. Taking in that natural light helps wake you up.

Also after you get ready in the morning (brush, bath, clothing, & breakfast) sit on a couch or chair for 5 minutes to just reflect or maybe not even reflect just not think. Some people may call it meditation or whatever but it helps calm you down in a hectic morning routine and you feel slightly happier to start the day

Make their bed every morning

Strech every day, even a few minutes of it every day helps greatly

Breathe

Swimming at least 3-4 time a week for forty five minutes has helped me a lot. I never realized how much i needed it until i took a week off. Seriously, i can eat anything and im still toned

Clean your room/car/house

Understand that you can't change the situation you're in but you, alone, control how you act and react to where you put yourself. You will struggle but you decide how to deal with it.

Plan your life around getting enough sleep. For most of us, that means 8 hours.

You have to get up at 5:30AM (Like I do)?

Congrats! Your new bed time is 9:30PM. And that is lights out, covers up, eyes closed bed time. You should really start at 9PM with putting your phone down, changing into PJs, washing your face, brushing your teeth, etc.

You can thank me in a couple of weeks when you start feeling better and having more energy.

Have young children? Plan THEIR life around getting enough sleep. Remember young children need A LOT more sleep.

The BARE minimum for a 13 year old is 9 hours of sleep. The whole world will probably be a happier place is that 13 year old is getting closer to the max recommendation of 13 hours though.

Treat sleep as if your life depended on it (because it does). Anything that interferes with everyone in your family getting enough sleep either needs cut out like a cancer that it is or adjusted.

Trust me on the sleep.

Do not dwell long on doubt. Doubt is a good thing. Doubt everything, but do not let this stop you from living life to your full potential. For example you may doubt the benefit of eating more greens in your diet, or may doubt the religious beliefs that you were raised with, or you may doubt the need to be constrained by the forces of gravity, or you may doubt the benefits of working hard to make money. What is important is to approach your doubt scientifically. Theorize, practice, experiment, observe your actions surrounding your doubts to either confirm or deny your doubts. For example: I doubt my life will be better if I exercise daily. So instead of avoiding exercise, laying on the couch with a naggy feeling that maybe... just maybe you should exercise more. Do it, go exercise, give it an honest try. Observe the changes in your life. Does your life get better or worse? Do you feel better or did you promptly break you ankle and end up with a cast? Don't fear those things you doubt will be beneficial to your life's harmony and happiness. Because once you start, you might discover that what you doubted and feared is the precise thing you needed to meet your full potential.

Be kind. To yourself and others.

Honestly I’ve found going out of my way to try to learn something new every day is very beneficial to keep life interesting, and it doesn’t even need to be anything really big, like even a small interesting factoid or bit of trivia is enough to get the mental cogs turning.

Workout for 45 minutes 3 to 5 days a week

Minding your business

Come over to r/bicycles, become enamoured, get a bike, get cardio and exercise, gain endurance, live longer and live to see the natural world all at the same time!

Turn off all the lights before going to bed. Get that deep sleep.

Set aside some 'you' time every day and do whatever is relaxing for you.

Pick up an instrument. It helps you maintain a consistent schedule (practice 20-30 min/day), intrinsically has both short and long term goals, rewarding, and fun especially if you have other friends who play as well.

I’ve played guitar for 10+ year but I picked up a banjo and have been playing for 3 weeks, and it (among other things) has really helped me get my shit together.

Going for an afternoon walk. It makes you sleep better and feel better!

Remember names. It's surprisingly pleasant and good to notice that someone you've met spontaneously knows your name.

Stretching your body aka yoga

Maintain a regular sleep schedule.

Learn how to meditate

Have a deep conversation with a five-year-old.

Smile at strangers. 😁

Breath awareness aka meditation

What ever you do, do it well. Not so that you can perform better for your employer but because you deserve to see how great you can be.

Exercise

Form habits early. If you fall into routine early it becomes second nature. Really helped me when I was starting at the gym

Always think of this quote. “Comparison is the theft of joy”.

Be thankful for what you have, not what others have compared to you.

Start waking up early. If you struggle with it think of something rewarding that can make it worthwhile.

I was chronically late for work, until one day last month I just decided I was tired of it. Now I look forward to leaving at 5 instead of 530 or 6 like I used to do to make up my extra time. It's a nice feeling.

Meditate

Floss their teeth

Drink more water in lieu of other beverages.

Make a budget. Don't save with the goal of making a big purchase. Save for the purpose of saving.

Store as many things on a cloud drive that you can, and keep an offline copy on your phone, so that you can always reference it: bus schedules, budget, office floor plans, links to resources you either often use it would love to reference some day, important photos.

Strike up conversations with strangers. There is too much isolation in society.

Live in the present and plan for the future.

Make a habit out of doing simple exercises (e.g. pushups, lunges, squats, pullups). Even if you start with only one a day (prior to taking a shower, before bed, before a snack, etc.) and make a genuine effort to improve next time, the nature of it being a habit can have a big impact down the road.

I work from home and began doing a basic circuit of pushups, squats and pushups every couple of hours. Now I feel odd if i dont do a little every day. I lifted regularly in the past, but making a habit of fitness took me to the next level.

Take a walk in nature once in a while and do it alone. The only thing that brings me real peace here on earth is my solitude with nature. The non human side of earth shows me everything I need to be thankful each day. I try to jog four days a week and during this time I am quietly observing the woods and the plants / animals around me

Brush their teeth every day

Pick up golfing. Great exercise and good opportunity to meet lots of people.

Have minimum expectations out of life.

Posture!

Just thinking about it and correcting yourself a few times a day will make a huge difference in the long run!

do your laundry at least once a week. even if it's not a lot. schedule your cleaning, in general to fit your lifestyle. i.e. either take one day a week to do it all or do a room a day or whatever

Set goals and see them through. Stay active and social. Exercise.

Drive

Clean up your room

Live a life you want to live. Like live a life you want to wake up early to for just because it's great. How? That's up to you...i used weed

meditate DAILY! take the time to actually set a timer, even if it’s just for 10 minutes, and let your mind relax. there’s tons of free guided meditations online to help you get started!

Listen to frank ocean!

Quiet your mind, stop guessing and stop naming things. Timeless Awareness, Stanford Research Institute. TedTalk with Russell Targ, SRI researcher on Psychic abilities. Experiments included making money on the stock market and secret documents viewed from hundreds of miles away. Everyone is psychic, just takes some practice.

Do any kind of exercise, running, walking, lifting, whatever you like but do something. I started 2 moths ago and it has improved not only my shape, but my mood too

Be friendly.

Friendliness begets friendliness.

Take a walk a few times a week. It’s healthy and nice to get outside

Don’t drink too much.

Planning your day first thing in the morning

FDPPP

Here's two tips that I never hear about. I still have a hard time with consistency, as ideally I'd do this every day, but it's help me immensely in regards to mental health, happiness and self-worth.

1) at least once during the day, I "take a step back" to acknowledge and appreciate the littles things that bring me joy: hot coffee or tea in the morning, a nice shower, talking to my family or friends, joking with a colleague or eating out for lunch. All those things we take for granted. I learned that living a happy life doesn't mean to do extreme things that creates a "spike" of happiness (like taking a trip for example), one should pursue that on an everyday basis.

2) I start everyday with a quality I have. Like today, for example, was that I consider myself to be intelligent and competent. I also end the day by naming all the things I'm proud of. Sometimes it's just basic thing like "I cleaned all the dishes I piled up" or "I went to the gym". By doing this everyday, I started shifting my very-negative internal dialogue to a more positive one.

These two simple exercices improved my mental health immensely.

Stop trying to please everyone

Feed the child inside. Do some silly fun stuff, allow yourself to have some time off to loaf around. Sing to music and dance. Play games. Blow some bubbles. I don’t know. Just remember you don’t have to be stressed 24/7

Make more money than you spend. Or at least start a savings account. I know it can be difficult to save, but it’s so important

Definitely sleep, and do things you enjoy. Don’t waste your life doing things you don’t want to do and being unhappy. 😊

Get a doggo. Maybe get 16

Get more sun. Spend some time outdoors every day if possible.

Clean your fucking room

Brush and floss.

Aim to improve at least 1%. You will generally find it easier and more achievable if you try to improve at least 1% per day.

Keep trying different forms of exercise until you find one you like.

Shower

Cleaning your room will go a long way.

Meditate, maybe 15 minutes in the morning. Doesn't have to be complicated, just sit and watch your thoughts for a little bit, then get up. For me, it shows me the "mental loop" I'm in and I can treat myself as a friend.

Be happy?

Think positive

Shower, deodorant and stop watching my Little pony

Whenever your going through something and need an answer, self meditate. Best advice i can give.

Play the fucking objective.

Try to find a balance between always seeing the good and the bad. In some situations it's good to only see the bad things, in others the other way round.

Make your bed

Be kind and loving.

Have depression and are broke? Sleep in and have sleep for breakfast.

Whelp...that's me these days then

Do minor workouts at home

Push ups or burpees or something.. doing 5 is better than 0

I keep seeing old people who cant walk up stairs or stand up straight. I dont wanna end up like them

wear nice clothes. If you look good, you will feel good.

Stop watching porn

Stop (or at least reduce) smoking, drinking, drugs.

Test and research before doing something.

From the mundane acts of trying a new pen before signing a contract and trying on clothes before you buy to watching YouTube videos before you disassemble your engine or trying the spray paint on a sample to make sure it doesn't melt the plastic, you'll be surprised how many times you'll say "sure am glad I tried this out first... That would have been a disaster!"

Take a minute or two everyday to reflect on whether your life is headed in the right direction.

Learn to educate yourself and make more money.

Stop drinking alcohol. I just called off work and am worried about myself - I may ask my best friend to join a 12 step program with me because of the partying we do. It also sucks all of my closest friends are in a relationship and I’m the one buddy who is single. That part isn’t the worst - everything takes time to fall in place but it really does suck

Smoke weed every day

Honestly, the smallest thing you can do is make your bed every day. No matter how bad of a day you have had, you always come home to a made bed. It reminds you that in your darkest hour you are still capable of accomplishments. And you also start your day off with a completed task.

Eventually this will instill discipline into your life. Making your bed every day will turn into doing the dishes every day. That will turn into sweeping the floors every day. That will turn into working out every day. That will turn into reading a scholarly article in your line of work every day. Before you know it you are keeping an immaculate house, maintaining a healthy weight, and increasing your competency in your field every single day. These three things lead to success and genuine happiness.

Oh and I would recommend getting up at 0430 to workout/start your day which means going to bed around 2130. This isn't for everyone though

Drink water

Smile :(

Quit smoking. Start excercising. Eat healthy.

Make your bed every morning.

​

So simple, but changes EVERYTHING about getting into bed later

Force yourself to be positive when interacting with others and smile often. Eventually it becomes second nature and people respect you for it. Plus when you do flip out people react with more of a sense of urgency.

I think being able to accept mediocrity/ not being good at everything has helped me a lot.

In the past, I've always felt the pressure to have to be the best t everything. However, I realise that is not possible. Accepting that I am not as good as I once hoped to be has helped me become more at peace with myself :). Still working on it, but I also feel like I'm generally more okay with failing, which kind of makes me more okay with trying out new stuff and genuinely learning sthg because I'm not do afraid of the consequences anymore.

Think if what you're grateful for every day. Puts me in a good mood and makes me want to spread my good mood to others.

Drink water

Perfect timing for me to read. I realized I’ve been bullying myself so mine is now called Sherman the bully.

Floss.

Achieve immortality

Think small. Life is overwhelming sometimes. If you are in a funk, do a small thing (make your bed every morning, say thank you and mean it, clean out one cupboard at a time) and give yourself time to re-build your motivation and energy.

Yoga

Not get into drugs

10 minutes of mindfulness per day is all you need to feel great.

Make your bed in the morning. By completing this first task, your mind is prepared for the rest of the day.

Breathe oxygen

Exercise, drink more water.

Drink less anything with sugars, avoid alchohol.

Avoid fast food and eating out as much.

Eat more fruits and veggies.

Don't text your ex's.

Go to the doctor and dentist regularly.

Brush your teeth.

Like honestly basic life shit they don't teach you because it's obvious isn't so obvious unless pointed out.

Make your bed every morning, it may be small but it's annoying enough to be an accomplishment when you do it. Once you have one thing accomplished the next thing comes a little easier.

Social media cleanse.

Drink more water.

Make your bed- changed me. Sets the mood for the day, make me feel more productive

Get in shape. Eat healthy. if you're fat, lose weight. If you're sedentary, get active.

Aim to make your life even just a tiny bit better each day - clean up a little, move around to get your heart rate up, do some art, literally anything.

Even if it's the smallest increment of a task... just 5 minutes... I'm not talking about hours or stuff. You'll find that even just 5 minutes each day consistently will lead to those tasks getting easier to doing each time, and you'll find yourself doing them more and more often. And the impact of improving your life will compound over time.

Sometimes people need to be complimented, say good morning and wish someone a good day to someone you know or don't. A lot of time people will say the same back, and it makes you feel better and more connected to others.

Eliminate debt or at a minimum stop incurring more debt

Understand and apply empathy. Kill off the ego. Easy.

go for a short walk every day

I would suggest working out 3 to 4 times a week. This will greatly reduce stress and definitely make you feel better about yourself.

Make a list of things you are grateful for as a sort of self-reflection! Really helps with perspective and positvity.

Leave toxic relationships behind. Heh. Easier said than done.

Sleep enough

Don’t feel the need to have to please everyone

Lose weight.

Stop making decisions for urself but having what other ppl say swap ur attitude towards it

Realise you won’t have validation from everyone, and if you care about those that much you might as well as the mailman to name ur kid

Drinking a liter of water before consuming anything else in the morning

Exercise every day, but most important: STRETCH EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Do what you want to. In the end all these worldly possessions are left behind. Be nice, it takes little to no energy and can give someone a little energy. You never know it might be enough to keep them going.

Stop asking the same damn question on askreddit.

Cut out junk foods and drinks. Drink plenty of water and cook more food instead of going out to save your money and waistline.

Live there life

Eat healthier & drink more water. I used to drink way too much soda and just snack throughout the day on whatever vendors at work brought in. I cut out snacking on junk all the time. I still do it here and there, but not nearly as often. And I started drinking about 40% of my body weight in ounces and I feel 10x better and have been sleeping like a baby.

DRINK MORE WATER

Delete social media.

Stop letting really small shit bother you trust me you'll be much more happy

also hobbies pick up a TCG or something i've met some really good friends playing Yugioh and cardfight vanguard

Make more money, spend time with people you enjoy, spend time doing activities that you enjoy, spend time volunteering.

Drink more water

Get off social media apps like Instagram.

Make your bed as soon as you get out of it. You will have accomplished more then most of the people in the world in the first 3 minutes (if even) that you're awake. This'll will be a pattern to success. It's baby steps. One little thing right, at a time, and before you know it most of your shit is wired tight and when large aw fuck moments happen they will be more readily mitigated without as much pain and frustration as you have most of your ducks in a row. One. Little. Thing. At. A. Time!!

Every morning, think of one thing you want to do, ONE thing and focus on it for the day so you do it.

Remove all the toxic people. Cut the ties and never look back.

Wake up early, have a filling breakfast, take responsibility for ALL their problems, cut assholes out of their lives.

Personally tried and tested. Works.

I know this is probably gonna get buried but seriously get the proper amount of sleep it’ll change your life

Order water instead of soda when eating out. It saves cash over time, easy way to reduce calories, and improving hydration is beneficial.

Do a little bit every day, even when you don't feel like it. Exercise, creative work, chores, whatever. You might not do everything you want to do, but you'll feel a lot better about yourself, and about your progress, than if you hadn't done anything at all.

Stuff like this really helps with depression. Your mean brain is telling you not to try, and only do things when you feel like doing it. But the whole point of depression is that you never feel like doing anything, so you never do anything, so you feel worse. Starting off with baby steps helps you learn to ignore that feeling and regain your self esteem and control of your life.

Read the answers on the other 100 questions like this

Read books! It definitely helps

Cut toxic people out

Use the search bar to find previous answers from this same question week after week instead of re-posting it.

Work to live; don't live to work.

If you can live a comfortable life, have time for family and friends, and have enough money to fund your hobbies, then do not sacrifice that to work longer hours for more pay.

You have to weigh up how much your time is worth. Many people I know make a lot of money but they work almost 24/7 to make that kind of money. They have no time for themselves and their life is their work. They have no time to spend that money they are making.

They often seem over stressed or upset they cannot hang out with friends or their SO, but this is their own choice.

Now when someone tells me how much they earn as a brag, I just ask in reply how much time they have for themselves.

Exercise, I'm not talking like body building stuff, but a few minutes of cardio and stretching adds up

Make your bed each morning. Starting your day by achieving something, as small as it is, can really change your life.

Download the Reddit app

Call your state representative today and tell them that you support net neutrality before the vote tomorrow.

Pack lunch. You save money and generally eat healthier.

Get a haircut. Nothing like a fresh haircut to set the tone.

Suck start a pistol!!!!

Delete social media

sub 2 pewds

that makes stuff better

Compliment someone every damn day. You'll not only make their day better but also allow for some positive energy in your life.

Wake up at the same time every day. And when you wake up, make your bed. It makes a surprisingly big difference.

Spend less time on reddit... 😭

Floss your teeth. The teeth feel like they “can breathe” after you start.

Read non fiction

Switch to left hand once or twice a week. It's like cheating on your gf without the guilt.

Stop watching porn.

Ask this question.

Smile more, be more positive.

I lived a very depressing and sad life until I started being more positive, we humans kinda feed off each other’s emotions so if ur a negative nelly, people will treat you like one..but act positive and smile, people tend to treat u nicely and smile back:)

freeze your grapes before eating them!

Exercise everyday.

Wear sunscreen

Learn a new skill.

Quit all drugs(if you do any) quit fapping and porn. Start exercising and meditatating.

Meditate. I have used it to help me with focus and decreasing anxiety.

Or try the 4-7-8 breathing technique. (Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, exhale over 8 seconds) x 4

Mind your own business and don't bother with other's people business

Delete their Facebook profile.

Be sober......

Get rid of the "me" mentality. You don't always have to be first. You don't always have to have the best stuff. Help a person because it's the right thing to do, not because you might get something from it. Just be good.

Drink more water.

carry chapstick or vaseline

Exfoliate your skin with baking soda.

Accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

Buying shares of stock every two weeks. So you can build wealth and pass it off to family or charity.

Learn to let go of negative experiences.

Meditation.

Not being rude to others and being kind instead. It benefits both parties.

Be on time. For everything...

Learn to listen

Maintain a regular sleep schedule. The most important thing is getting to bed and waking up at the same consistent time on week days and weekends. The next step is to get around 8 hours, but that's not always doable. Still, sleep is a lot more important than most realize. You can solve a lot of behavioral or stress problems by improving sleep. Likewise you decrease the likelihood of Alzheimer's.

Drink more water

Oops, already up there

Log out

Drink enough water.

Make your bed every morning. Takes 15 seconds and starts your day off on the right foot.

be kind and polite. you never know what people are going through

Expand your horizons where it comes to culture! An easy way to do this is through food. Try something new. Go to a restaurant you haven't been to before. Learn to cook something from a different culture. Use that opportunity to learn something about that culture, listen to its music while you cook. You will most certainly try something you find vile, but will also find things you like. I started doing this last year and discovered I love Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean, and Traditional Chinese cooking. I also discovered my body does not like curry. Explore, play, have fun!

Be selfless. You’d be amazed at how many good opportunities come your way when you learn to put others before yourself.

Help a stranger out. Simple as that.

Pray everyday, read your Bible to stay in God's word & Lay your burdens at his feet. I'm not perfect myself either and need to do this more myself too.

Make your bed every morning!

Just do.

Eat vegetables!!!

Exercise

BE SELFISH aka do more things for yourself without worrying about other people!!! Whether that’s letting toxic people go or finally working on a project that other people doubted you on. Just do you!

Save your money. It does a lot

Do 20 push-ups a day. At least. Maybe start to count up

not piss on the floor in public bathrooms

Return all your messages and phone calls. I find that when I'm feeling anxious, if I examine what I'm putting off, there are things that are bothering me subconsciously and will continue to do so until I take care of them.

Meditate in the morning. Think of 3 things that you're grateful for as soon as you get out of bed each day. Its called priming and it does me wonders.

Also, create a personal mission, a roadmap of your core values. Imagine walking into your own funeral, what do you want people to be saying about you? Your family, friends, and coworkers. These are your core values and you need to remind yourself of them every day.

Make a weekly list of what you want to achieve to bring you closer to these core values and your goals.

Lastly, most of this came from the book: "7 Habits of Highley Effective People" it's an amazing read and I strongly recommend reading it to anyone who wishes to undergo a change in their life. Not a promotion, just spreading the word. The book has helped me tremendously :)

I started doing push-ups and crunches before I shower everyday. I couldn't do a lot at first but after a couple of months I have cut biceps and abs. I feel better about myself and have more confidence and it really only takes about 5-10 mins a day.

Meditation

Keep right except to pass

Clean up their room.

Only exclusively drink water.

Make it a simple habit. If someone asks you what you want to drink, your default should be, "water." You'll save so much money in the long run and your health will be vastly improved.

TL;DR It's expensive and unhealthy not to drink exclusively water.

I used to drink diet soda with every meal out of habit. It's such an expensive habit: restaurants and bars always want you to order a drink and look down on you for getting water because there's so much profit margin on drinks. The beverage industry as a whole is about expanding to as many people as possible, building a habit or making an addiction, and then nickle-and-diming you. So a drink might only cost 50 cents, but if you're drinking it with every meal, you're spending roughly $45 per month on it. Or only $1 here, $2 there, $3 there -- when you add it up, it's a fuck ton of money ($100+)

$45 per month -- for what? To destroy your kidneys? You could get Netflix, Hulu, Spotify, Instant Ink, HBO, and CBS every month for less.

I went to the doctor recently because I started having restless legs at night, which wouldn't let me sleep. As it turns out, I have Stage 3 Kidney Disease (stage 4 is when you start looking for a transplant). I'm sure it's because I wasn't drinking water.

So drink exclusively water. Your kidneys and wallet will thank you.

Not give a simple fuck about basic things. Don’t waste your time thinking of IT, but YOURSELF.

Spend less time worrying what people are saying and doing on social media.

Tackle your addictions one at a time, and replace each one with a healthier alternative. Each time you quit something, it gives you momentum to improve your life. Starting with something small: Like quit daily soda, and replacing soda with flavored sparkling water or water bottles filled with fruit and water. Allowing yourself a soda on weekends only, or a special event.
Then after a a few more months, replace one fast food meal a week with a home-cooked meals. Such as meal-prep Sunday ideas of creating a stew every week, or creating meal-prep bowls. It is possible to create 4 days of meals each Sunday that are healthy, nourishing and save you a lot of money.
After a few months, quit daily cigarettes/alcohol, and add in a physical hobby that gives you a high, like running, swimming, tennis, basketball, weight-lifting.
Then, after a few more months, cut back on television or social media use. Replace it with more healthy hobbies, such as mentoring someone, helping a charity, or self-education like an online certificate. Replace the waste of time with something that creates value in your life.
After a year, you will realized all your addictions, large and small, and have tackled many of them. You will have a deep respect for anyone struggling with addictions or lifestyle changes. You will also be happier, healthier, freer, and more content.

Take walks

Stay off internet

Come to the realization that we’re all gonna die.

Enjoy life while it lasts.

Live, don’t just be alive.

Walk outside for 30 minutes five days a week.

Learn basic maintenance skills. How to change tires, light bulbs, fuses, etc. Literally never not useful.

Not using JavaScript.

exercise

Smile 🙂

Brush and floss your teeth. Sick teeth are correlated with several life-shortening maladies.

Drink 24 oz. of water first thing upon waking.

Drive on the Right lane if you're going slow

Go for a walk.

have a proper sleep schedule, sleeping at least 8 hours feels so much better

Stop jerking off!!

Eat healthy and exercise

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Breathing. A lot of people are victims of “shallow breathing”. This means theyre not breathing deep enough, and most of the oxygen is still in your lungs. Deep breaths relax you, make your blood pump more, regulate your metabolism, etc. So many benefits but you never really think of it. Stretching too. Deep breath for 3 secs, hold for 3, exhale for 3. Works like a charm

Don't play vanilla wow

Take a shit

I’ve been in therapy for two years and here is something I’ve learned: avoidance isn’t a coping skill.

You can’t keep avoiding things for a temporary high of relief.

Great advice here already!

Here is mine: learn stuff. Put something new in your brain, keep it young! It can be a new language or pottery or music. Whatever it is! Anything that mildly interests you.

Save money. Any amount. Just put part of your paycheck away.

No phone/social media first thing when you wake up. Instead do a small task like making the bed. Set 3 goals for yourself for that day and try to complete the one you want to do the least first thing. Having a regular sleep schedule will make this easier.

Going to bed at a reasonable time and waking up early, early depends on you (6-9). Starting your day early gives you so much to do during the day.

Be mentally prepared for any outcome. To make a bad outcone less impactful/painful to deal woth. Helped me alot to avoid discouragement and disappointment.

Stop drinking soda pls

Without a phone or any other device take a 15 minute nature walk a few times a week.

Eat right, sleep and be active even if it only means walking a half hour a few days a week.

Learn to forgive...

And get a pet

Make their bed

Don't be afraid to excuse yourself from a conversation and then just keep to it and walk away when they protest. It's perfectly acceptable to disengage from a serial rambler.

Just show up! Improvement starts here.

Brush your teeth.

Eat some fruit, better for body and soul

End it.

Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and just be yourself.

If you're a professional chair jockey, go for a fucking walk.

Trust me on this.

Take a moment to choose how to respond instead of reacting.

30 minutes of active excerise at least 5x a week.

Make it part of your routine/weekly schedule. So you know Monday after work you have weight training, Tuesday you have a 5k run followed by body weight exercises at home. Wednesday is your rest day. Thursday you spend at the rock climbing gym. Friday you get more weights in before the weekend. Saturday another run and Sunday fun day so you just rest or go for a hike/SUP boarding or whatever.

If your doing cardio aim to have your heart rate at 55-85% of your maximum heart rate.

If you struggle with being active because you don’t like the gym try finding a sport that you enjoy(or multiple). There are plenty of opportunities to get out of the house and be active. In my city we have archery tag leagues that involve quite a bit of running. You can also play soccer, volleyball take a few yoga classes a week to relax and unwind (there are some free resources online)

I find if you have an activity for “rest days” it further helps to maintain an active lifestyle. For example if I have a weekend rest day or I skip the gym it’s usually for an active outing with friends. Hiking in summer, snowboarding in winter, hitting up a trampoline park or indoor rock climbing gym.

Clean their room.

Actually sleep 8 hours every night.

In my case, die

Make your bed every morning.

Don't worry what other people think about you and don't try to "make" friends. Be yourself and then people will like you for who you are. Not for who you are pretending to be.

Stop chasing Good Emotions. They will not stay. Quickly forget Bad Emotions. They will stick around.

Simple.

Get an alarm clock and keep your phone in another room when you go to bed.

Let go of always having to be right.

Be aware of things you do. If you listen to people be aware of what they say, if you’re reading something grasp what’s written there, if you’re eating enjoy every bite you take. With focus your life will become more productive and meaningful.

Drink water.

Cut string with people who unload their negativity in your life.

Set some long term goals with proper planning to achieve them.

Have a primary goal but also prepare a plan B simultaneously, just in case.

Give time to yourself. It can be a hobby, a solo visit to a restaurant, solo bike ride on weekend, or just listen to music. Give time to yourself. It freshens up the mood and gives you time to contemplate about your life.

Try to gather knowledge of current affairs and be aware about your surroundings. It helps a lot.

Keep up on chores.

Putting a little time aside each day to take care of routine tasks rather than letting them build up until the point where it NEEDS to be done. First, it helps keep a clean environment at home which makes it easier to relax and enjoy your time at home. Second, it builds discipline which can help in other areas of your life (Work, relationships, etc.).

What’s

Sex

Chug a water when you wake up

Get sober!

Accept loneliness (:

Smoke weed everyday.

I don't know if this qualifies as simple but really assessing your priorities -

what is important to you? What do you want to spend your time doing? What kind of work do you like doing? how much money would make you comfortable and how do you want to earn it? and start making plans to achieve those goals and get moving towards making them happen.

Fancy a packet of crisps? Eat a raw carrot instead. Healthy habits

A healthy diet, excercise, and proper sleep. Ever since I incorporate these three things my health, self image, and mental health is far better than it has been in my whole life. It takes some work but, in reality, isn't really that hard. This is coming from a college student studying Mechanical Engineering and a pretty challenging University.

Keeping a planner.

When I was really depressed and having a hard time I would just write down literally everything from brushing my teeth and stuff to serious assignments. It really helped to cross a few small things off before I got to the big things and helped me get really organized

Wear yourself out every once in a while. Be it mentally or physically. Work yourself until you’re exhausted. It will push your boundaries and help you to grow.

Jumo into some equipment. As far as us uneducated blue collars go it's the best. These days most everything has heat and air and the ground guys do all of the physically demanding work. Ive done both and u can honestly say a hard day pushing it in equipment can beat you up worse than actually working.

But, I'm pretty crippled up and i see 70+ year old guys crawling in and out of equipment.

Once you get a few machines down it's all pretty much the same. A few hours of someone watching you and telling you what not to do will have you 7/10 operator within a month if you pay attention and get at least 12+hours of windshield time 6-7 days a week.

0 education. Paid training for it. Can get a job pretty much anywhere 1st or 2nd world country.

I've done a lot nore for a lot less money. Hell, i couldn't even carry groceries or stand at a pizza counter like i didnwhen i was a kid but i can spend day and night sitting in a cab with an fm radio. Climate control is the biggest blessing though. Even if it does turn you useless if you don't watch it.

Actually think about what people could be going through when upset before gossiping about the possible outlandish things you wish they were going through.

Start exercising. You'll be amazed how it builds momentum toward a better life and spills over into everything you do.

Make your bed, then continue to set small goals.

Text a family member or friend and ask them about their day every now and then. It’ll strengthen your relationships over time and show that you just genuinely care.

Clean up as you go. Seriously, a clean home can do wonders for people.

  • cooking? Throw away trash/put pots to soak/stuff back in the fridge while you have a free minute.

  • make your bed- even if it’s just pulling the blanket up.

  • throw something away/in the hamper as soon as you’re finished with it. It’s amazing how much easier “cleaning” days are. Wipe down a counter as soon as you’re finished. Takes 5 seconds

15-30 minutes of yoga every night before bed. You’ll sleep much better, and regularly clearing your head is great for mental health

Stop slouching

Get a consistent 7-8 hours of sleep a night instead of 5-6 hours. Will do wonders for your overall state of mind and health in the short term and the long term.

Eliminate any negativity out of their life. If anybody is constantly complaining to you and expecting you to rescue them all the time, fuck'em

And also a good mattress. Invest in a good mattress and youll have a great end to even shitty days. Doesnt have to be pricey, just super comfy to you.

Give social media a break.

move their locus of control to an appropriate distance from themselves.

Try new things. Go to classes for things you wanna do or maybe don’t even wanna do. Just go and get out there.

Education. Stop believing in an afterlife and start focusing on this life, while you have time.

Make their bed in the morning

Quit sixth form

make ur home a better place (neat, tidy, clean, convenient appliances, HOOKS, etc) trust me it helps your hygiene AND mental health.

Learn a new hobby. It helps with the mental health. I learned how to knit and it helped my depression a lot.

Knw that blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family.

Keep everything tidy and clean, make the bed every morning. Wake up a little earlier than you usually do to start your day off better

Make your bed in the morning.

Start your day by accomplishing something. Even if it is a small accomplishment, you start the day with a positive action that will hopefully keep trending that way.

Give up lying.

Meditate

Watch the second appearance of Jordan Peterson on JRE.

Stop being a victim 24/7.

​

Yes, bad things happen. There are choices you can make to better your life, to cushion the impact of those unexpected events, and everybody has something they can whine about. We all have to deal with life and excuses, complacency, and whining are great time wasters; nothing else.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Compare yourself with the yesterday's version. That's all it took me to throw away all the stresses I have been having.

Excercise!

Working out is awesome. You start to feel better and have more energy. It lets you meet new people and you really start to have a better self image.

to do things by heart

A full nights sleep

Parking

Wake up earlier :)

Read. Just spend at least 10 pages a day on a non-fiction book, that's more or less a book a month, 12 books a year. You'll be better at work than 90% of people out there

Play pubg

Compliment people when you meet them.

I usually make an effort to compliment an article of clothing or accessory because people have to choose to wear those, and if feels good that people validate each other's choices.

I've made so many friends this way and it makes conversation so much easier. People end up talking about who or where they got the shirt or earrings from, which jumpstarts the conversation to something people enjoy rather than a really dull "how bout the weather?" Thing.

Get a tiny clothes hamper for your dirty socks.Then, put your socks in a mesh bag when washing and drying. Keep socks in mesh bag until out. Repeat.Saves so much time for so little effort.

Is it just me but has this same question been asked at least three times last month?

Eat well and exercise

Stay hydrated

Stop wasting time on reddit.

Realising that your potential isn't what you estimate, it's much more than that(what we do automatically in situations we don't know).

Build a gaming console from a rasberry pi

Get off your phone more often. As of 2019 I have cut my screen time significantly and have been supplementing it by reading books, doing puzzles and exercising. It’s incredibly refreshing

Not say "better" as a verb when you mean "improve". For some reason, using that word that way goes right up my craw.

Drink more water and don't give a fuck about what other people choose to do with their life

Make your bed. Every Morning.

In and of itself, it’s a very zen activity - pressing out creases with your hands, aligning pillows, fluffing out the duvet.

It’s also a quick and easy accomplishment to start your day with and you’d be surprised at how energizing it can be. You’ve established a constructive attitude for the day and it carries forward into life’s other tasks.

Finally, a made bed is a sanctuary that you can retreat to at the end of a long day.

Make your bed every morning when you get up before you do anything. It starts the day with a task completed and if you have a shit day you have a made bed to climb into at the end of it. A bed you made, and a made bed gives you encouragement that the next day will be better.

Admiral McRaven gives 10 things he learned from Seal Training that make life better that are true for everyone:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBuIGBCF9jc

Always make your bed as soon as you wake. Start the day off completing a task. It starts everyday successfuly, so then go from there.

And the bedbugs have a warm and cozy place to multiply.

Don't do drugs

Drink more water. Not coke, not juice, not coffee. Water.

Going to the gym has helped me massively. My dad recently passed away and I’ve felt extreme hopelessness.

I feel so much more accomplished and feel better about myself. I think exercise helps a lot with depression and overall quality of life.

Make your bed every morning

Try to get more sleep. I know it sounds dumb but seriously, my life has been so much better since I started going to bed at 9. I feel so much more healthy and just over all better.

do their homework instead of answering this post and proceeding to watch youtube and/or anime

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Don't compare yourself with others. It's kind of been hard for me to do that but can be done. Brings so much focus in general and happiness.

Don't drink any liquids except for water... and drink a lot of water. And I mean a lot - 0.5-1 gallon per day. (In reality, you can drink a glass or two of "100% juice" [no added sugar]/beer per day if you want, just be honest with yourself and don't do more than that)

Eat less refined carbohydrates. Less (white) pasta and bread/anything made with processed/bleached flour, less foods with added sugar. Replace with unrefined grains (whole wheat) and other high-fiber foods like dark green veggies.

These two things, IME, will make your energy levels skyrocket throughout the day.

Clean up after yourself

Get off Reddit

Having fun

Cut out sugar

Eat fruit and veg lots. Drink water. Walk lots.get off the screen.

11 year old video of all responses in this thread

Actually drink water.

Drink more water. It’s practically free and our bodies literally rely on water for survival.

Take 90 seconds every day to clean something around your house. Take out some trash, wipe down your toilet, pick up some clutter. It makes your deep cleaning days much less overwhelming.

Choose to be happy as often as possible. Catch yourself when you begin to have negative feels and stop them in their tracks. It sounds like, and it will make you, slightly delusional to start but it has a huge impact on your overall outlook and mental health.

Stop overthinking about the past or what will be your life in the future. Life is now

Deadlifts.

Stretch

Exercise

Exercise

Visit r/hobbies and start one today!

There are variety of activities and many have very low $10start up costs.

Get a dog :)

I like to remember these quotes from a show called “After Life” it has taught me to be happier and to understand that when things go wrong I can’t hate the world.

“Good people do things for other people. That’s it. The end. We’re not just here for us, we’re here for others.”

Take an online course on understanding finances.

Smile in the morning, even if you have to force yourself to. When you do, you might just think of something worth smiling about :)

Stop doing drugs

Build simple everyday habits. Make your bed in the morning. Don't sit on your laundry for weeks, fold your clothes and put them away the second they're finished drying. Wash your dishes right after you're finished eating. When they become habits, you don't have to expend energy or deal with the anxiety of having to completely scrub your room clean. Don't wait for it to become an ordeal to fix it, because you're more likely to procrastinate.

And when all your basic tasks are finished, it will free you up to actually do things you want to do. I've spent so many days scouring the Internet for motivation videos and articles when I had it backwards the whole time. You don't wait for motivation to come. It won't. You do things, and the results motivate you to keep doing them.

Get a CPAP if your snoring is having an effect on your bed partner. Chances are it's far worse than you know and you might be able to fix it and improve your sleep dramatically...which will make your life and health much better.

r/nofap

I think creating a good routine helps with your mental health.

I started flossing a couple weeks ago and obviously it’s for my gum health, BUT I was surprised to find it was good for my mental health as well.

Unlike brushing, flossing takes a bit longer and so every night before bed, flossing has helped me kind of take a few minutes to clear my mind and focus on one thing when the rest of the day I’m worried about work or anything else going on.

To be honest I think this could be a form of meditation, but I’m not an expert. I think you could do the same thing with making a bed, or doing the dishes though!

Keep their environment clean. It’s amazing how much it helps you thinker clearer and be optimistic.

exercise!!!

Believe in yourself

Smoke a bowl.

Always try to make time for yourself no matter how small it is. Everyone needs at least some time to mentally decompress

being grateful for whatever life you have in you now. noticing how the odds of you being here right now are billions to one.

Accept your mistakes.

Drink some damn water

Stay honest with yourself. You will be surprised the amount of time you lie to yourself.

The day before I go back to work (Usually Sunday) I put on my favorite song at the moment, and tell myself how successful the week is going to be, and I talk to myself about it.

I feel like after I do that, I go into the new week with a positive mindset and renewed confidence.

Make your bed every morning. Studies have shown that starting your day by completing a task increases productivity and happiness.

The biggest thing that's bettered my life significantly, is probably becoming more organized and decluttering my life, mostly inspired by the r/konmari method. For the first time in my life I feel like I have a "nice" living space, I can relax and I can invite people over without worrying they'll judge me by my clutter. It seems like such a small little thing but it's helped me reduce anxiety and stress a lot.

Be polite, and honest, to a fault. It really shows off your integrity and trustworthiness, in business and personal.

Just getting in the habit of changing those things. I feel like that's the reason most me year's resolutions don't work, because you're not in the habit of having those resolutions. If you wanna eat healthier, just start with that right away and don't think "I'll start next week", if you get into that habit, your whole life will be much easier. It has worked for me and it doesn't take much energy.

Before you do something, put yourself in someone else's shoes before you do. Perspective can change everything

Put in effort to get good sleep. Drink 2-3 litres of water each day. Seek help whatever it is. Go to a chiropractor. Go to the gym. Eat fruits/veggies between meals, I mean a lot of them taste good.

Maybe a little late here, but here is the most important thing that changed my life from a loser into a happier, healthier guy with plenty of activity and interesting projects (and boosted my productivity to high levels: today is the only day of my life. What I don't do today, I'll never do. I'll never meditate, exercise, read, write and whatnot. I follow this rule and all the rest of the good stuff comes naturally.

Put white vinegar and any brand dish soap in a spray bottle. Mix it up.

Spray down soap scum tub. Wait 30 minutes. Rinse and wipe with sponge/rag.

Bam sparkling clean tub.

Sell your car and make more use of walking, cycling and public transport. I did that and haven't been sick in over a year, have lost weight and have tons more energy.

Adblock.

Make your bed after getting out of it. It neatens up your room by making the bed look nice and it prevents you from dumping random things on your bed throughout the day instead of putting them back where they should be. It also makes you want to get back in it less.

Park farther away from your destination. The extra steps add up quickly, especially if you run a lot of errands.

Drink atleast a bottle of water a day.

Treat tidying up their rooms as a habit and not a project.

Make their bed every morning.

Mind your own business

Walk for 30 minutes a day.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Seriously, just stop.

Drink a big glass of water every morning and eat an apple for energy!

Switch from soda to water.

Get their back popped. Chiropractor or S.O. it’s just as great.

Get off social media.

Drink a lot of water

Not try and be right in every situation

Morning routine. Gives you a reason to get up every morning. Made a big impact on my life.

May not sound so simple at first, but If you want to understand your life and the world around us, think about concepts like frequency and vibrations.

Our own body is constantly in motion, working in frequencies related to neural transmissions, movement, blood stream flow, rhytmic electrical impulses, et caetera, not to mention the constant vibrations of our own molecules.

If you want to feel the best you can possibly feel, you need to be in sync with high frequencies. Low frequencies are associated with low feelings, such as depression, anger, envy, and anything that keep us from moving on.

There are many ways to achieve this. But something simple comes from our diet. For example: eat healthy. Eat anything that comes from the ground: vegetables, fruits, grains, etc. And avoid junk food. Processed food.

Nicholas Tesla always used to say that we are light, and we need to eat light. In his mostly uncomprehended mind, he used to say that the light from the sun nourished the plants, which provides the vegetables and other edible products for us. So therefore we are literally eating light, giving our body higher vibrations and frequencies.

If you're not a fan of Tesla, just ask vegans how they felt after 1 month of eating pure and natural. It is amazing.

Downloading and using my fitness Pal. I've lost the weight I wanted, and found I was hugely diminished in some key vitamins. I feel years younger. Not an ad!

Exercise

Stop having expectations and goals and be open and present with this moment.

Learn to cook. It’s a really valuable life lesson when you figure out how to make whatever you want, and I particularly enjoy learning why I do it it. Cooking for others is super rewarding

Meditation. Check out 10% Happier, book or app.

I like this story about Mandela's Father.

So Mandela's dad was the tribe leader. And Mandela himself was often present in the meetings their village council had. It was many years later that Mandela would realize what made his father such a great leader. He said that in those council, his father would never speak first; he would always sit and listen to every other council member's opinions first, no matter how ridiculous they were, before he would speak himself.

Valuing other's opinion can go a long way. Pay attention to what they're saying and even if someone is interrupted while they're talking, the best thing you can do is to tell them to finish what they were saying.

When you hear those silly voices in your head telling you, “why can’t you ...”, “if you could just...”, “you should be ...”, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and tell them to shut the fuck up. You’re doing the best you can in this moment and it will all be ok.

Stop and take a short breath.

Put $10 a week to a separate account. Don't withdraw it. Let it go. Thank goodness for compound interest.

When you can up it to $15 or $20 a week, do it. Never reduce it.

When you retire or lose your job or need it for a replacement car, you'll have something to get you through the hard times or celebrate the retirement

When I'm done using a plate or anything like that I put it directly into the dish washer instead of letting them pile up in the sink.

Take probiotics. People underestimate what gut health does... for mental health and actual physical health.

Stop giving a fuck

Wear sunscreen

Start flossing

Drink water.

Username doesn’t check out.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Drink water

Live it to the full

Two things have been linked to being much more miserable in life according to the longest continuing study of human happiness.

1) If you smoke, stop. Never start.

2) Lose 15lbs aka be as close to your body weight when you were between 18-25 as possible.

In short both those items lead toward a downward spiral in life that makes life's happiness get worse and worse because they deteriorate your health in awful ways.

First of: get a life

Accept and forgive (if necessary) yourself for who you are. You are the only 'you' you have in this life.

Exercise.

-Exercise -Invest in a quality electric toothbrush -Invest in large cutting boards -Exercise -Hydrate often -Smile more -Move on from your shitty situations -Stop dwelling on things you cannot change -Try to love yourself -Exercise

Study.

Be better at clear communication. Every piece of drama I've ever encountered has been because one person assumes something and doesn't ask for the truth. Be open up front, be honest but gentle, be clear and set expectations with people if doing something as a group.

Take a few months off social media. If that’s too big of a change, start by uninstalling it from your phone. Stops you from comparing your daily life to others highlights.

wake up early in the morning

Drink water.

Exercise exercise exercise

Remember you can’t control people, places, and things. Keep it simple stupid!

Clean your room.

Eat less

Forget the past and keep moving forward.

Start conditioning your mind to see the beauty in everything around you. It's a slow process but you'll be amazed how great you'll feel when even the smallest things can make you feel happy. For me, it was the best thing I could do for myself

Workout

Get a good night's sleep

Take responsibility for their own actions and outcomes.

Every since I started doing this, my life and situation has improved greatly.

Read. Exercise. Keep a clean and tiny living space.

Use their turn signals. It'll make our time together easier for you, believe me.

Smile. Just walking around with a smile will make your life a hell of a lot better.

Drink water

Listen to the other person speaking before formulating your response

Drink water, Get good sleep, Practice good hygiene, and just making a conscious effort to improve your physical appearance can also improve your mental health.

Exercise and eat healthier

DRINK WATER. READ. GET UP BEFORE 8 AM.

Try and count down from 5 when you need to do something and when you say 1 get up and do it and stop messing around. This will reprogram your brain over a long time and soon you won't have any problems with procrastination! Enjoy!

Go for 30 minute minimum walk outside every day.

Short term goals. Like, multiple stuff to finish each week. Cross it off on a checklist.

Find time out of your day to go outside for a walk. It doesn't have to be anything long. I find that this has helped with my mental health and also absorbing sun vitamins.

Take a deep breath before getting pissed.

Try to be as objective as possible when solving a problem and leave your feelings out of it.

buy a dab a cartridge

Brush your teeth. And floss.

Root canals and having teeth pulled sucks.

Drink water

Eat less at night

Go see lots of live music. Weekly. Discover great local bands. Touring bands. Large scale concerts. Stand in front of the stage and feel the performance. 100% you'll fell better and you will enjoy your life more. Guaranteed.

Drink water instead of sugary beverages

Drink more water and find time to read at least 1 hour a day.

Drink water

Smile

Start each day with 5 minutes of meditation

Put things away. Don’t just put them down.

EXERCISE

Go to the gym once a week for 30 minutes and just lift the heaviest weight at the lowest reps.

Clean as you go. I am not a cleaner but a cluttered house/car can drive me to a breaking point.

One of the simplest things I did that improved my day-to-day was emptying the coffee filter and spent grounds before pouring my first cup. I know that sounds so insignificant but not having to go through the process of cleaning forgotten grounds from the coffee maker when I want a fresh pot seriously makes my day better.

Assume people have good intentions

Treat others as you'd want to be treated.

Give at least 3 genuine compliments a day, even if it's to the same person or yourself.

Having money/a home

r/LifeProTips

I believe there's a sub for this

Think positive.

Grow a plant!

Drink a lot of water.

Look people in the eye (if you can) when you say 'Thank you'--if you have decent manners, you say it a lot, but you probably do it sort of automatically. Looking at the person you're thanking has a little more weight and also helps remind you that you really do have something to be grateful for, even if it's small.

Make their bed every day.

Eat lots of Fiber. Happy poops = happy life

swap out fizzy drinks to water, or at least 50% of your daily consumption.

NoFap.

Stay hydrated

Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.

Go for a 30 minute, brisk walk (take the dog if you have one) every morning right as you get up. You start your day with some exercise and time to think (plan your workday, think about solutions to problems, be grateful, etc.).

Change small things one at a time. For example, I want to shave every morning, do a little exercise and get out of bed on time.

If I try to change everything at once, it won't work because the workload is too much. So I start by shaving every day until it becomes a habit. Then I tackle the next task. Again, until it becomes a habit.

Just like that I am learning some spanish every day now :)

My husband could go to sleep before fucking 5am. Then he won't be tired all the time.

Ohhhhh. You meant something that everyone can do!

Hobbies, eat healthy, exercise, read books, go outside for walks more, start meditating, learn new things.

Make Chocolate Pudding

"But it's 4 in the morning, why would you want to make chocolate pudding?"

Because you've lost control of your life.

go 👏 to 👏 therapy 👏

seriously if people would go to deal with their trauma, learn how to communicate, learn how to argue, figure out what their desires are in life, learn self introspection, and just genuinely learn how to process emotion we would have a more productive society with stronger relationships.

Drink more water

Try to find a job where you can telecommute. Even one or two days a week is life changing.

Investing your money. Not only as an adult but as a teen and early 20s. Don't just blow all you money on everything. Take out 10-20% of each paycheck.

If your company has a 401k plan that they match. Take advantage of that. But also invest money either through a broker, or learn the basics about the stock market and invest some money through stocks.

It doesn't matter how you invest your money. But as long as you're saving money, and investing your whole life youll have the ability to have a good retirement fund, or money for emergencies.

tl;dr: don't waste all your paycheck, invest %10-20. Think about your future.

Don't talk shit about a person unless you already know your listener's opinion of that person.

Stop living for others. My favorite quote to live by comes from Rocky Horror Picture Show "Don't dream it, be it!"

Sleep, eat well, don't smoke

Change your attitude on life. If you're a victim all the time it means you have no control over your life. Take back that control and view things in a positive light, it will help so much!

Think before acting

Listen to better music

Shower, especially if it's been a few days. Even if you REALLY don't want to (I'm looking at you, depression) You will feel so much better. I promise.

I struggle with this.

Compliment people, people you know or strangers on the street, making others feel good makes you feel good

Stop worrying about what random people think of them.

Learn to make eye contact with people and smile at them. You’ll be surprised at how many people audibly reply with a “good morning” or “hello”. Especially older folk. It really makes you feel good and when you start being the audible greeter you feel like you’re making a difference without really doing much!

Always include others while talking, even if you really want to discuss that one episode of a show you and your friend watches. Try and save it for later since it can make the others feel left out of the conversation. ESPECIALLY don't do this if everyone will get it except one person.

Meditation.

Stay off of social media

Exercise.

Start taking chances, its okay to be comfortable but getting out of your comfort zone can be very rewarding

Speaking from personal experience: doing something for your neighbor, a friend, or a relative you don't see very often. I started doing small things like housework, cleaning and yard work. With and without pay I feel better about myself, better about how I spend my time and I'm more connected to the people around me.

A close second is setting attainable short-term goals.

Stretch. Even just ten minutes a day makes a huge difference

Just upvoted this post. PIZZA TIME 🍕

Always use your spare time to teach yourself something new, even if you don't think you'll use it. I love to learn and I think we always evolve more as people and better ourselves when we're always trying to learn things.

I taught myself sign language by practicing an hour or whenever I had some spare time. I have a deaf cousin and wanted to speak to him properly when I saw him, even though it's very rarely.

Say thank you a hundred times a day. For all things great and small. To no one and every one. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for rain. Thank you for sun. Living in thanks is a powerful way to uplift oneself.

Spend less time on Reddit.

Find a hobby and practice it daily

Take responsibility for their life.

Forgive 🙏

Spend an hour each week, alone & completely unplugged, in a natural place (if one is available to you).

Get off social media as much as humanly possible.

Pick the winning lotto numbers ..

Do something you want or like to do.

Wander round a lake, go take pictures of fuck all which look nice. Have some you time!

Be grateful.

If you're reading this, there is a fairly large chance that your life is safer, more secure, and over all better in damn near every way than the lives of 99.9% of humans throughout history. Try to appreciate that you live in a wealthy, mostly free society where your individuality is at least partially valued and you have, in comparison to past humans, nigh boundless opportunity to improve yourself and your situation.

Just take a moment each day to remind yourself that, even though your job might suck, your boss might be an asshole, or your rent might feel too high, you are still worlds better off than nearly every human throughout history.

If some people in your life constantly give you the feeling of guilt, or in some way make you unhappy - then spend less and less time with them. Most of the time, we are more afraid of cutting the friendships, than actually losing them.

Have at least one time where you TREAT YO SELF during the week. It can be to binge TV without guilt, eating til‘ you crack, drinking a beer in the sun with your favorite friend or whatever your desires are.

Change your perscription. And your world will change.

cover your damned mouth when you sneeze!

Do workouts that involve both anaerobic and aerobic variations and not just one or the other.

Delete Facebook, hit the gym.

Don't get in debt(especially CC debt)

Make your bed in the morning, even if its messy

Makes u feel more put together, also crawling under the covers is 10/10

Daily meditation.

stop saying you can’t do something

sleep well

Have no expectations or bias. Enter every room with a new, fresh mind.

Quit Reddit.

Finally accept Islam as the one and only true religion in life.

Start working out I lost 15 kg in 2 months and feel way better now. I achieved this with just eating less and starting to go jogging

eat 5g dried shrooms

Stop smoking.

Clean your room, get some exercise (even a leisurely stroll outside for 10 minutes is good), get enough sleep, put your phone down and talk to people, read books

Exercise, 30 minutes a day can change your life, and if you are young it is even more important. You may be in shape now but you want to maintain that shape as you get older

I noticed I was playing too much games after work lately so instead I started up drawing again, learning how to animate and develop my own game. Rather than playing a game i'm more motivated to make my own ontop of being a musician writing music

I saw in a bunch of different comments, but definitely and hobbies

Never have a zero day. No matter what, try to accomplish something during your day, even if it's as basic as putting dishes away or doing some laundry.

Close Reddit right now

Walk.

Start your day out right by making your bed.

Always eat on time, you get a better grip on your energy by not skipping meals or atleast eating something

Be positive. Joking about how lonely and worthless you are is going to affect what you actually think of yourself if you let it go too far. Speaking from experience here.

By subscribing to PewDiePie

Acquire some Bitcoin now. Don't worry about the amount, just whatever is comfortable with your current budget. Store it safely and don't worry about it, come back in 5 years. Then pop back over to this post in 5 years time and give me a thank you.

IF you're going to use your phone at the gym. Try to keep it short, like a min short. I keep seeing people sitting on their phones at the gym. You're there to work out not play gbf or whatever mobile games.

I was on a lucid dreaming hype train (if you don't know what LD is, google it up quickly) and because of it I started caring about the hygiene of my sleep.

You feel soooo much better if you get a good night's sleep properly!

If you wanna know how, basically care about constant sleep hours if that's possible, get it to more than 6, and it's also a good idea if you can make it a multiple of 90 minutes. Then you're way more likely to "hit" your REM phases and wake up when you're not in deep sleep, so you'll feel more relaxed.

Track what you eat with an app. Once you realize the calories from certain foods, you make healthier decisions.

Get out of bed

Have a pet. Dogs are especially noted on how they can help with many aspects of your physical and metnal life (happiness, blood pressure, loneliness).

use "Hello", "Please", and "Thank you"...it will change your life

Read business/self help books. Personally at work ive gotten a promotion and 2 raises because of the things I've taken and applied to in life from books.

Put down reddit

Do sports, or exercise in any way.

I usually take care of trees. Read manga or novel. Sometimes hang out with my friend. Call for my parents

Drink more water

Smoking marijuana in moderation has done wonders for me. I tend to struggle with the moderation part though..

Stay hydrated

Stop procrastinating.

Draw something

Seek therapy .. Don't do this alone if you're stuck.

Put your phone down. Go outside.

Take testosterone

Get more sleep.

Exercise.

Eat better.

Drink water. Staying hydrated improves cognitive ability, increases energy, and helps promote weight loss.

Have a growth mindset. You can only grow and change if you believe you can grow and change. Don’t limit yourself with the labels you have given to yourself.

Sleep enough on a regular schedule

Have a variety of fresh foods

Work out regularly your strength, endurance and mobility

Be mindful about your stress and happiness

Your life will turn around 100%

TAKE A SHOWER

reduce your time on the internet and get out of the house when you can

I like to smile. It makes me happier and it manes people around me smile which also makes me happier.

Drink water. I aim for about 5 imperial pints per day.

Use soap everyday

​

Clean your room

Change the caliber of the people you hang around. People who are responsible, and generally have their shit together. Not only are they good role models, but are more likely to give you good advice if you are going through trying times.

Read 12 rules for life by jordon peterson

Drink water.

I know people who for some bizarre and unknown reason flat out refuse to drink water and they’re miserable.

Some of the best advice I ever got was “Don’t do stupid shit” Sums life up pretty well.

Stay off Twitter

I would say taking my time and enjoying simple tasks has helped me. For example I use to shave really fast in the morning with an electric shaver just to get it done and out of the way. Now I take me time and shave with a safety razor and for some reason it doesn't seem like a task anymore.

Replacing sugar drinks with water and tea. It sounds terrible, I know, but once you get over the initial withdrawal, it’s a really easy change to keep up with! Most people I know that have tried it (including myself) have agreed that it’s a super low effort way to clear up skin and lose a few pounds. It doesn’t happen overnight, but I’m 3 years into it and I’ve never felt/looked better! I noticed way in the beginning that I stopped craving soda/processed juice, and on the occasion that I do have some, it’s almost unbearably sweet. Truly one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!

Invest on a good chair, whether you are working, gaming or whatever if you're gonna spend time sitting on a desk your back needs a good chair.

Eating right and exercise.

Learn to identify habit loops of bad habits. Do you eat when you’re bored instead of hungry? Learn what triggers it.

Make your bed. Seriously, if you don’t do anything else today, make your bed. Doing this everyday was the small, initial change I needed that helped me grow a lot in the way I take care of my space, my self, and now my family. Start small. No excuses. Just make your bed.

Cut out all those negative people and things in life weighing you down. It will make your life so much better.

Drinking more water, the simplest and most rewarding thing you can do.

Is this just a professional way of asking for life hacks

Save money

Do your bed. You can't imagine how great it feels to get into a nicely made bed after a hard working day.

Go to bed early and get up early if possible. Will change your life!

Be honest

Get a mobile phone holder for your car and keep it out your hands when driving

Exercise

Establish a routine. When I did this, my stress level reduced significantly.

Get up earlier and get some exercise every day.

Smile, greet people, treat them with kindness and help all. Be caring towards animals. In general, be considerate and kind. This positive outlook will make you positive. And this will help you lead your life better.

drink more water

Get out of bed.

Have proper posture.

Keep your room clean and make your bed, dr mike said how it makes your brain happy

Assuming better includes longer, one can not die.

Go on a bike ride!

Get rid of toxic people in your life. YOU are worth more.

Not read AskReddit posts about things they can do to better their lives.

start NoFap

Use a planner and block out time for "me time"

Take a break from reddit and actually do something

Stay hydrated - drink 2L of water a day... PLUS another glass for every soda or coffee you drink. Those things dehydrate you.

Take intentional time away from screens - this is a must.

Related, put away the screens and go to sleep when you’re tired. A melatonin and a white noise app can help if you (like me) have trouble falling asleep.

Exercise - even walking counts. Lifting weights is even better.

Vitamin D - find sun, or substitute artificial sunlight/tanning in a pinch.

Don’t eat so much or so often. I’ve started intermittent fasting and it has transformed how I feel.

When you do eat, eat things that aren’t processed/fast food.

Take care of your grooming, etc - it’s not vain, it’s self-care, and it’s worth the effort.

If you do all of those things and still aren’t feeling better, find someone to talk to.

Tell that voice in your head that reminds you of past embarrassing mistakes to piss off.

I try and do this most days, but on particularly bad days I ask myself: “Name 3 good things that happened to you today.” And reflecting back on good things throughout the day help me to remember not to dwell on all the little negatives and to stay positive!

Save money

Cardio and drink water. Its so simple but so difficult for most.

Not be an asshole to your co-workers and students. Let me know if you know which incident I am talking about.

Do what you say and say what you do, At all times. This will make you thrust worthy and people seem to appreciate that

Posture. It's something we always say we should work on, but nobody ever does. I recently decided to really work on it and it changes your entire mood almost immediately. More confident, happy, less sore all the time, find it easier to talk and make eye contact with people. I just feel better about myself.

Drink more water

Watch Swampletics on YouTube

A good sleep schedule

If you're worried about a particular relationship you have with someone, ask them about it. Sometimes the thing you're most worried about is all in your head.

Drinking more water. Seriously guys, it makes you feel good 👌

Use the blinkers more often.

If you have to stop something... it's usually not easy! Mine was stop smoking and I want one everyday.

Nothing. Not in the sense that there is nothing one can do, but that literally doing nothing is tremendously beneficial. Once a day, put your phone down, take a deep breath, and sit there for a moment. Renew your appreciation for mere existence.

Invest in good bed, mattress, pillow, duvet. We sleep through a large portion of our lives, if you can wake up feeling amazing, you can get a lot more things done in a better emotional and physical state.

Brush your teeth.

Travel. I don't mean go to Europe or whatever (unless that fits your budget). I mean get out of your familiar zone. Travel anywhere new. Take a road trip for a weekend, see more of your country. Or just spend a few hours with a friend in a nearby city, or by yourself wandering. Go on nature hikes, or swim in the nearest (clean) body of water.

There is additional value to many kinds of travel - exposing yourself to other cultures, taking your mind out of its comfort zone and showing it you can in fact survive and even thrive in a wider world, trying new foods, hearing different languages, or just seeing humanity from a new angle.

But rekindling your sense of adventure is the real core of what's important here.

Quit your job, delete social media. Go look around at the world.

End it.

(I'm kidding, pls don't hate me)

Acceptance.

Work out a few times a week. Great for stress relief and for getting some alone time.

Start getting out of bed in the morning!!! I fought this forever ! I’m 38 and the last few years since I have started doing this have been the best. The mornings are a special time now for me that I have for myself. I actually worked on just getting up at first at 530. Kept it simple, I just woke up, put on coffee and started playing video games. Did this for a few weeks just to get the habit there and now my morning are full of runs, work outs, reading, and breakfast making.

On your deathbed, none of your favorite days in your memory and final moments will involve sleeping in.

Setting up a bank account for retirement, and setting aside a 100 dollars aside. It stacks up fast if you start as a teen.

Feel the sun on your skin for a little while. Sunlight makes you happier

Not be a dick

Reunite with a couple of friends. Perhaps start doing something together. Let them inspire you to become a better you

Drink more water

Staying active, whether it be gym time or a small walk or stretching at work.

Gonna sound stupid but mind their own business, it saves them a lot of trouble in the long run

Proper hygiene goes a long way.

Leave the EU, apparently.

Excercise daily. It doesn't have to be a tense run/gym. A morning walk, some stretching/yoga. It helps a lot for stress levels.

Die.

Do something creative. Draw something, take an artsy photo, write a fictional short story, dance for no reason, write a simple song, maybe even come up with a spicy meme. It’s therapeutic!

Give yourself the gift of time. Wake early or go to bed late and just spend a few minutes alone.

Meditate

Take some time out of your day to go be in nature, by yourself and detached from your technology. It does wonders for the mind.

Live life like you have a terminal illness that could take your life at any minute.

Jerkoff when you are sad. When you finish you will either be happier or disgusted with yourself for whatever it was that finished the task. Either way, no more sadness for at least a little while.

Take the stairs.

Saving up money.

Don't procrastinate in the morning. Get up, make the bed exercise and eat right away. You will feel energized and your day will start with a dopamine boost

r/nofap

Drink more water, meditate, walk in nature, be kind to animals, smile.

Wake up early

Meeting with friends regularly

Spend time with family.

I have made an excel sheet on my habits based on the most upvoted here.

I will try to (deep) blue as many of them as possible.

Write thank you notes to people

Drink more water

Make your bed when you get up, when things go south during the day, at least you have a bed that will feel fresh. Once that's in your rythm do another mundane thing everyday, it will really make a difference if you keep adding one or two things every few weeks

Do not use your phone or have it out when with someone.

Meditate for 5-10 mins. It can start to give a natural high after awhile.

If you currently question your relationship with alcohol, try abstaining for a month. Most people with a normal, "healthy" relationship with alcohol don't question that relationship. A month of abstinence could help a lot with how you approach drinking in the future. If during that month you find that alcohol plays an unhealthy role in your life, consider permanent abstinence. If that seems unachievable, consider the possibility that you have a substance abuse problem and possible addiction that can be addressed through a professional route. Being an alcoholic isn't awful, once you figure that out, address it and learn how to live life without booze. It's actually very rewarding and (dare I say it?) normal.

Sleep, eat and drink enough. Don't cut yourself short on any of these, and don't go overboard.

MAKE MUSIC, or any kind of art, WITH people. Whether you know how to or not. For me it’s making music with friends. Not a musician/intimidated? Pick up some $30 bongos, a shaker, tambourine, ukulele, or a cheap electric keyboard and find one person that can carry a song. These require minimal practice and just a bit of rhythm. Not everyone has to be experienced, and playing with others makes you feel so good, socially and emotionally connected, and you’ll get better really fast in the process, allowing you to play songs by yourself. You don’t have to be good for this to make you feel happy either.

Not everyone has a natural affinity to creative processes, but I think it’s more therapeutic than many people realize to be able to replicate a song you really love or to come up with something completely original that expresses how you’re feeling in an abstract way.

I’m finding that most adults who have never learned an instrument are too intimidated; you CAN still learn and the internet/ technology has made resources more accessible than ever.

Overthrow the capitalist system

Exercise. This has been hard for me, because I grew up playing sports and learned to hate it. I've recently changed my perspective and have started thinking of exercise as self-care, like you would for a massage or meditation. This has helped a lot.

NoFap. From my experience, it made my life feel much more meaningful and the act of supressing cravings trains us to be stronger human beings.

Meditate. With the constant stimulation each of us encounter in our day to to day, everyone could benefit from a couple of minutes of mental R&R.

Wake up early enough in the morning that you're not rushed to get ready for work

Put down the fork

Try something new every now and then. Start reading, play some boardgames, start a new sport or even something easy like biking to work

...exercise

Donate or toss half your stuff then clean all the horizontal surfaces you cleared. Heaven. Frees the mind and soul.

Stop procrastinating. Adhere to the 5 minute rule -- if something is only going to take 5 minutes to do go ahead and knock it out instead of letting it pile up and stress you out.

Delete social media accounts like facebook, Instagram and etc. Accept yourself and be a REAL person which helps the weaker

Stop being on reddit 24/7

Drink more water

Stop supporting Ferrari.

Ok... fill me in.

If you haven't watched formula 1 in the last decade, then you won't understand my pain

I have but what is it that they are doing?

Make your bed every morning or even right before you go to bed. For some reason it feels very rewarding. Also if you’ve had a bad day you know your coming home to a comfy perfect bed.

Pretty sure there's some science that's proved making your bed each day actually benefits your brain/well being.

Sleep early, wake up early, start each day, fresh as a puppy.

Aww, puppy. 😋

Here’s a 3 things that helped me a lot.

1) “Not thinking less of my self but thinking of myself less” -Andrew Murray (I believe) being concerned about loving and caring for others has really helped with my mental state.

2) Stop comparing myself to what or who I see on social media. If you have to cut it off.

3) Same with people. If they are a toxic piece of my life it doesn’t matter how long I’ve known them I have to cut them off. I won’t be rude or hate them if they ever try to speak to me, but I have no obligation to spend time with someone that is making my life worse.

Help a lady get on the bus who’s struggling with her stroller. Tell your friends and family you love them. Smile at a stranger. Just do something nice for someone. If everyone did that once a day, you’d not only better your life but the world would be a shit ton nicer.

Pick a burden and bare it. It will make you stronger and give your life meaning.

​

Example: Choose a Job that is challenging, have a child and raise it, commit to marriage, buy a home, free-solo El Capitain!

​

Do something difficult.

Be happy in bad situations.

Interesting, I might have to try that then.

Declutter your life of things that don't add value, relationships that are toxic, find work that you enjoy and adds purpose to your life.

Exercise

Make an effort to sleep well and drink water. Appreciate Nature and small pleasures.

Spend less time on Reddit...

Eat breakfast

1) Help others, even with little things 2) Think of 3 things you are grateful for every day, make a journal out of it. Could be even trivial, like a good cup of coffee you had.

Writing a comment that gets you enough gold to retire

Eat healthy. Meditate. Find a balance in everything you do.

Play video games

Meditate. It's free and even 10 minutes a day helps you collect your thoughts.

Me

Try to wake up on the first alarm (easier said than done, I know) and make your bed every morning.

Try to go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier, go for a walk before work/school, clear your mind and start your day relaxed, instead of waking up late and having a hectic morning.

Reminice every once in a while about good times, and don't fret on the stress of day-to-day life.

Eat breakfast and drink water throughout the day.

Make time for family, especially grandparents. They appreciate it more than you know.

Push ups.

Support the campaigns of Senator Sanders and Senator Gabbard. If they win, all Americans win.

Reduce heavy carbs/starchy foods and fried foods, stop consuming refined sugar, drink more water. Don’t cut out carb foods entirely, just don’t have meals that are always all cereal or pasta all the time and such, add more greens and beans to your diet if possible.

Reduces your chances of diabetes and a fatty liver, lose unneeded weight, condition yourself to eating better and you’ll actually feel better physically and mentally, whether you want to focus on a meat or veggie or vegan diet (meat in moderation... but I suck at that personally). Add some exercise (I’m lazy so weightlifting always me to be stationary while sweating and pumping up) and you also end up shaping up and sleeping better.

It might not be as simple as other suggestions here but it really paid off in my case!

Smile more and worry less.

Leave ten minutes earlier

Prioritize sleep. You will be in a better mood if you regularly get enough sleep.

Also, try to get more human interaction daily. We are so obsessed with our phones and ourselves. It’s refreshing to actually talk to new people or old friends.

Write something: a poem, a short story, a tale, a script. At the beginning, don't bother about the quality, just write what comes first. Then, if you feel it, keep going, perfecting it, going deeper, adding meaning.

Smile more :)

learn to make chores routine daily items. this reduces having to do them with more effort when you are able to fit them into your routine you forget about them as chores and make things easier when you have to clean your house for guests, and everything stays relatively clean, it is a lot less work.

Stop eating sugar.

Having just read 'Lost Connections':

Meditate.

Practice sympathetic joy.

Find a job that gives you some control and security.

Find a good social group, preferably with a shared goal or belief.

Get out and explore nature.

love themself.

Drink water

eating real food and not that frozen bs. adults nowadays eat like children.

Drink a lot of water Force yourself to stick to a bedtime on week nights Start your day with a tiny bit of exercise to get blood flowing like jogging a mile before you shower. Keep your apartment/house clean Spend time in the sun

If you consider yourself an overthinker Ive recently found meditation that actually REALLY help me and my relationships with people. I really recommend it. I started with the app Headspace and it really trys to keep you on track and focused during your meditation.

Probably not the first whatsoever with personal trainers about and such, but exercise.

Whether it’s stretching once a day or light weightlifting or cross fit or body weight training or hell, even walking for 15 mins a day!

I can almost promise it will improve your life on the daily in terms of energy, appetite, overall mood etc..

Kegals. EVERYONE should do kegals

Workout! Exercise!

Take time to unplug, be in complete silence, and read a book.

Sleep earlier.

Get enough sleep

Take a mental break once a day. No music, no podcasts, no outside stimulation. Get your thoughts straight and clear your head. Write down everything on your mind.

Just try to be better.

Clean/tidy up your living space. You’ll be surprised how much it helps your mood and clarity of thought to occupy a neat, clean and tidy space for most of your time.

Pee in the shower.

Damn each of these threads could be their own ask reddit post

Write a todo list for things they want to get done in a given day or week.

Read a book every month or so.

Read How to Win Friends and Influence People. Wholesome book about being a better neighbor, friend, partner, and business person.

Exercise.

Honestly, register to a gym and go. Just pick up a program from /r/fitness and stick to it. It will help with everything.

Apply minimalism for you/r family

Try and help me, not so much me as her, I’m a waste of time but she isn’t

Cut your caffeine consumption down so you're consuming no more than the equivalent of 1-2 cups of coffee a week. Preferably less. It will improve your sleep and reduce your anxiety tremendously.

Drink. More. Water.

I’m by no means qualified to harp on anyone for it, but a while back I went a year drinking only water. Not only did I lose weight, I was much more energized, happier and on and on. Since then I’ve slumped back into drinking soda and the occasional beer, but I’d like to go back to only water.

Go to the bathroom in toilets

I love shitting in my backyard tho

Thats fine but when youre in public you are expected to poop and pee in the toilet. A lot of people get mad if you dont. Life gets so much easier/better without the constant harassment and complaints.

Drink more water.

A lot of these are really great suggestions but they're hard to deploy practically based on circumstance. Eat healthier? Absolutely, but hard to do if you're poor. Sleep more? 100%, but not if you're working a 50 hour week and have a newborn at home.

Water is extremely, extremely inexpensive. It has almost no negative side affects (unless consumed in huge amounts). It will help your blood pressure, your skin, your energy level, it will help you feel full longer. It helps flush out all the by products of your body's metabolism.

I always tell people that the first thing they should try to do is drink a couple liters more water a day then they are. Try it for a week.

As an addendum to this (because everything you say here is true), some recommendations for “eating healthier” that aren’t “start this weird expensive no-gluten organic Vegan anti carb blah blah blah” and might help even if you don’t have the money

If you are cooking for yourself/buying microwave meals, check your grocery store to see if they have prepackaged sandwiches/pastas in their deli area. Oftentimes they will be equivalently priced to frozen dinners and have far fewer preservatives (YMMV depending on the store). If you’re doing the cheap instant ramen thing, rather than using the flavor packets provided, buy a bunch of herbs and spices/bouillon cubes and flavor it yourself, which gives you a lot more control of the sodium intake.

If you’re working a lot and most of your diet is fast food, try trading your greasy McDonald’s/Wendy’s/Burger King for Subway/local delis/the above pre-made sandwiches in some grocery stores. Also investigate some local places: they won’t always have the brand recognition/aesthetic, but you might be surprised at the quality you can get at some non-brand Delis/cafes/international food places that are the same you’re paying for the chain fast foods but with significantly less grease, sodium, and preservatives.

Now, depending on the area you live, these may not actually be viable options, but if you’re trying to find a way to improve your diet but can’t afford any of the crazy “health” foods, these are a few things you can try that might improve things a little even if it’s still not “Healthy™️” eating. If nothing else, I’ve found introducing variety can improve your mood on its own even if it’s no healthier than what you’re already doing.

In my case: die

Always try to get your work / dates / jobs done quickly. You are going to have more freetime and less worries about less time to get all the stuff done in the future :)

Brush your teeth 2-3 times a day.

Divorce

just be polite

Change your underwear.

I can't express how much this has helped me.n

If I had a bad depressive episode, I wouldn't shower, change my clothes, or keep myself generally clean. When I would force myself out of bed, the first thing I'd make myself do is change my underwear. It was clean, felt clean, and would make me change my pants into a cleaner pair, and I would start to feel somewhat better after doing so. It's a bit too emotionally exhausting for me to shower everyday (and i couldn't even if I wanted too, because doing so dries my skin tf out, and I haven't found a lotion that works), so the feeling of being slightly clean made me feel so much better

6

A solid, and consistent sleep schedule. It will do you wonders.

Brush your teeth every day. good dental hygiene can save you thousands and save your life.

Clean your room. Seriously.

Smile

Make the most of your time, avoid rash decisions, stay level headed, keep track of your tasks, and leave enough time to rest.

Learn to listen first before speaking

Start your day by making your bed. This way you start and end your day with a win.

Always try do to the right thing. It may not always be the easiest thing to do but you'll regret a lot less over time

Make your bed every morning!

Have a clean home

Sitting around at home/work? Keep bottle of water next to you. Make a habit out of consistently drinking water so you don’t have to think about if you’ve had enough water that day. It also helps you stay away from soda.

clean your room!

Meditation and mindfulness. Highly recommend the Sam Harris waking up app for guided mediations.

Stop eating out. Your finances will thank you.

Make a real effort to never be dehydrated. And take a moment to focus on your breathing

Make an effort to keep in touch with old friends. So often we just stop talking to people, regardless of how close you may have been, once you end up in different cities. Just taking a little time every few weeks to call up somebody you care about and catch up. It not only will make you feel great to still be talking to an old friend, but it’ll make their day because it’s flattering to receive a random call from a friend just because they want to hear how you’re doing. It’s just a great way to pass the time and put some positivity in the world.

Masturbate five times a week.

Run daily

Take ten minutes in your day to just have for yourself -- mediation is a great way to spend that. It's a great way to reassign yourself. Try flicking on a short guided meditation on YouTube.

Notify people if you're going to be late or not show.

Make your bed and clean up your room

Dedicate 30 minutes to urself with out interruption.

Start taking vitamin D and fish oil capsules.

I tried this. Noticed zero difference. Stopped when I realised that I was throwing money down the drain.

Learn to hold yourself to reasonable standards and learn to forgive yourself. We are our own toughest critics.

Spend more time with your pets

Live for yourself and not for others. To many people I see concerned with trying to live the way they believe they 'should' be living according to others instead of living the way they want.

Do some sort of mild exercise for 30 mins or an hour a day. Whether it's a walk, run, gym, swim, and movement is good for you

"You look good: you feel good, you feel good: you do good, you do good: you win."

Take time on your appearance and you'll feel so much better. Your hair and your clothes are a big part of your appearance, and a lot of people (including me before I made this change) don't realise this. Get clothes and a hairstyle that suit you and look nice and you'll probably feel much better

Make time in the day for yourself

Delete Reddit, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and shut your mouth and stop thinking your entitled to the world..

Drink more water

ur mom

When I have a really bad day. I go to Taco Bell drive thru order a pop and pay for a couple meals behind me. My day still might be shot but I know I've made someone else happy. And you never know it might start the chain reaction pay it forward.

Drink water.

Stand up tall when walking and look people in the eyes when speaking.

Make your bed in the mornings. That was a big (yet simple) one for me

Won’t immediately make things better, but will feel much better when you come home and don’t have to look at a mess of tangled sheet scattered about.

Being concious about what you eat and how much you eat. You'd be surprised how good you feel when you stop eating junk.

Eat less fast food

The avarage person spends less time on their economy than they do brushing their teeth.

Live within your means. No, you don’t need that iPhone if you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

Talk less. Listen more.

Practice ‘assumed friendship’ - every time you want to impress someone talk to them as if you’ve known them forever. You become the confident person that you’ve always wished that you could be!

Short walks after meals whenever possible. All the benefits of exercise, AND you're using the activity to dampen your blood glucose spike as well so it's a double win.

Make your bed every morning.

Learn how to cook for yourself, its much healthier when you know where everything you ate came from and whats in it and many things are super simple to cook, most stuff you cook for yourself is often tastier too.

Have a varied and mixed Diet, theres nothing wrong with a treat every now and then, but if you have it everyday, its no longer a treat and its become normal, eat plenty of Fish, Vegetables and Fruit.

Stop procrastinating and just focus

Go to bed on time.

Drink water

Think of 1 to 3 things you are thankful for each day. This helps me remember to be grateful for what I have. It doesn't have to be big things. It can be that I'm grateful for the warmth of the sun on my face which makes me smile, the hug from my child that morning, the conversation with my parents. It's easy for me to take for granted the life I've been given & focus on the negative things that happen. Then I become negative and more negativity enters my life. Focusing on the positive makes me see more of the positive things in life, which makes me a better person. Which attracts more positive people into my life.

Get into reading, novels especially, if you aren't already.

I know many people say they don't have time to do, but the beauty of reading is you can do it for whatever amount of time you have (whether 15 minutes or three hours).

The two biggest advantages I feel: 1. An escape, no matter where I am. There is no minimum amount of time or special place or unmovable equipment required; 2. It forces you often to get in someone else's shoes, evaluate situations from different points of views, or even "experience" something that you would never get to experience in real life. Those three things can only be good to increase empathy in most people :)

Drink at least half your body weight in ounces of water a day. Seriously, just getting enough water will make you feel much better and its the easiest start to attaining a healthy diet on a daily basis

Floss. Will prevent many problems long term. And short term life changing improvements in my case

Get a good haircut

Tying your shoes. I sometimes literally see people struggling with it for like half a minute per shoe. When I was younger I found a method to do it in like a second and it works great for me. I won't even try explaining it but I'm sure it's easy to find some tutorial on youtube.

Where do you live?

Make your bed every morning. It feels great to come home after work or school to a nicely made bed, and it makes your room automatically feel cleaner.

Learn to be better drivers. Not just for the obvious reasons but being a better driver will not only make you safer on the road but help protect those around you by avoiding a situation.

Use a password manager and change all your websites passwords to random strings.

Understand the conception of common sense, which for reasons unknown goes amiss with many people

Compliment yourself on things other than appearance (appearance is important too) but recognize when you've done something well even if it's just a simple thing

Compliment yourself in the mirror once a day. Out loud.

Excercise

I got a trampoline from Amazon. It was around 35 bucks. It's in my living room. It's a small 'exercise trampoline' and I just kind of bounce on it every now and again.

I don't know if it's going to change my very existence, but it gives me pleasure to look at, and who doesn't like to jump up and down?

Call your mum. It will make her day and yours too.

Find a hobby, something you enjoy. And understand that while some hobbies do, not all have to cost a lot of money.

I am a 31M with one of the most dangerous jobs in the world, I’m insanely busy person caught up in way to much and have recently picked up gardening. Taking 20 minutes to sit down and prune my plants has been a huge stress relief and not something I ever saw myself doing.

Gardening, sewing, learning, reading, building, playing. Find something you enjoy that lets you take a step back from everything that drives you crazy.

Stop staying up late and wake up early. You’ll find your days will be longer so you can get more done.

Be kinder to others.

Also realize that just because you think you aren't being disrespectful doesn't mean you aren't disrespecting someone.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Get outside in nature once in a while, take a break from all the noise.

Keep a clean house and a clean car.

Clean your room

Use the calendar app on their phone. Organization can go a long way.

Try to learn something new everyday, if not at least be open-minded to learn whenever an opportunity comes by! It can be in the form of reading a fact and doing a 5-minute research on it just to learn more in-depth, or by engaging yourself in long-term courses on certain topics that interest you.

I recently stumbled upon a website called Coursera that provides free courses on many topics like healthcare and business etc and I'm seriously loving it! Maybe it's just me but I find it really interesting to learn new things :)

Everyday try to do one small selfless act that makes another person's day better.

​

See a woman struggling to get her cart around a corner? Offer to help

See a man struggling to get his couch up a flight of steps? Offer to help

​

Don't assume they'll want your help, but offer it and be ready to follow through. This won't improve your life in one day. This won't improve it in one week. But after a month or two you'll start to notice a significant change in how you view and treat others. It will make you less angry and more forgiving of others.

Walk (outside if possible) for 30 minutes a day.

https://youtu.be/aUaInS6HIGo

One thing I have found, is that you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. I used to hate life cause I hated myself. Once I started taking better care of myself, I found I was happier. Eat the right food, exercise/move more, try not to get too angry too often.
If you take care of yourself, everything else seems to happen easier and more naturally.

Smile.

Read. So many books out there with so much knowledge. Easy way to learn even when you’re long done with traditional schooling.

Drink a glass of water when you wake up

take stairs everytime instead of escelator.

Lower expectations of others, take a deep breath, make time for you're self.

Clean your room

Drink enough water. Staying hydrated makes you feel a lot better because your body can drown out the toxines it produces

Be able to run a mile and do 10 pullups and 30 pushups. Once you meet these goals, you are in better shape than most people.

Consider what you could do if you stop waiting for tomarrow to do it.

Throw away the television and go outside more often.

DRINK MORE WATER

This will get buried but maybe it will reach someone... My last semester of college, I was really poor and kind of sad about it. One day I read something that said "bread and water could so easily be tea and toast."

I believe it was meant to be metaphorical, but I started making myself toast with peanut butter and iced green tea with mint from my mint plant, honey, and lime every morning.

Just that little extra boost every day reminded me that I could be poor and still be fancy.

Think twice before every decision.

Do something crazy. It sounds complicated but it’s not. Hear me out.

Compliment someone. Stand up for someone and protect them. Take yourself out of your comfort zone. It’s absolutely terrifying to commit to, but when you sleep at night, you’ll think back to whatever you did, and you’re going to feel 1000% better then you think, and a decent plus, people will think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.

A NYC love story:

I was maybe 16-17 coming home from school on the 6 at one point in time. And of course, being a nerd, I didn’t have too many friends & my life was boring, so I decided to do something different. I saw this one girl, Stephanie, Puerto Rican. She was the first girl I ever said ANYTHING TO in public, ever. I had seen her a few times coming off the train if I stood on the platform like 10 minutes later then I normally would leave. So one day...I spoke up. I told her that she was beautiful, and that I wanted her to be my own. AND SHE BLUSHED LIKE A TOMATO. Who would’ve known that me, the nerdy ass kid nobody likes, would be talking to a girl.

Now, 7 years later, we no longer talk, but for the next year after I told her I don’t think I had ever been happier. However, I’m much more confident about myself now, and my wife & kids are my world. Thanks for giving me a chance Stephanie, cause this next blunt’s for you.

Be in the moment. No matter how frustrating or sad or hard it is. Most of our hardships come from thinking about where we would rather be or have been instead of focusing on where we are right here, right now.

Literally just smile. Makes your day instantly better

Be kind. Always.

Kindness, including online. Just starting with the concept that most people are basically good but can be easily bumped into meanness

Something I need to work on as well.

Write a list of at least 10 things you’re grateful for every single day. And before you know it your subconscious will be directing you to things in your life that make you happy. True bio-hacking!

Make your bed every morning.

Wash your face in the morning with cold water.

Read more books.

Stop trying so hard to prove you're better than other people. Just be yourself

Write five things you are grateful for each morning. Helps start my day on a positive note and shapes my perspective to see the good in different situations

exercise and eat better.

Automate savings

clean your room

Be on reddit less

Make your bed in the morning and regularly change your sheets.

make your bed everyday to build self discipline

Waking up an hour earlier than you are right now. It’s life changing.

Be honest. Even with yourself.

If you smoke cigarettes: Quit smoking cigarettes.

Ten-year long pack-a-day smoker here. Cigarette free for 16+ months. Everyday without one gets easier. Everyday without one tastes, smells, and feels better.

Don’t hold grudges. Spend more time with family.

Stop, sit with the sun on your face, listen to birds/dogs/otheranimal, feel the grass and just let your mind travel to wherever it wants to go....

Live debt free.

for those of you with two functional legs; brush your teeth standing on one leg (increases/maintains your balance skills so that when you are 80 you can still ride a bike)

​

do a little more and procrastinate a little less (some things need some thought and some are charging interest rates higher than the local mob boss because you are still thinking about doing them).

​

know that when you criticise you should be constructive. And know that sometimes things go wrong despite all good intentions.

Use DENTAL FLOSS (better your life and the ones surrounding you)

  1. Smile and be polite to people.
  2. Be grateful. Everyday. And
  3. Have short term achievable goals

If you’re struggling with something, talk to someone about it. People tend to keep shit bottled up, like myself. But it will get to a point that it slowly starts to eat away at you bit by bit until you’re at your lowest point. Sometimes it’s hard as hell to talk about our demons. And for me, damn near physically impossible. My mouth just could not let it out. But I found that I was able to write about it. It fucking hurt to actually let those words out. But I’m so much happier and a better person now. It was literally a burden that I’ve carried for 20+ years, and now that I’m no longer afraid or ashamed of it - it feels like a literal 1000 pounds lifted off my shoulders. And it’s changed my entire perspective of life.

And if someone talks to you about something difficult, just listen to them. You don’t necessarily even have to say anything. Just listen.

There are plenty of subs here on reddit meant for just that. I have another account that I use for that sole purpose.

  • r/KindVoice
  • r/Whatsbotheringyou
  • r/Self
  • r/OffMyChest

These are just a few. And if it’s passed that then; r/SuicideWatch .

I’ve been through some fucked up shit, and I’ve witnessed horrible things. But I’ll ALWAYS listen to you. If you’re reading this and just want to talk about it, hit me up anytime. I’ll always listen to you, and give you advice if you ask for it.

Practice gratitude.

This one simple thing changed my life in the biggest way. Essentially, if you intentionally take time to be grateful for things regularly, you'll rewire your brain to be happy.

Be honest

Be honest with yourself and others. You won't always be liked but will be respected. Being a honest person and an asshole to people are VERY different and makes a big difference, when following this rule.

Live, laugh, love.

Sit down and make a list of some skills you really wish you had. Right now. Put down and reddit and come back and finish this post after you make your list.

Then when you’re bored, or feeling down, just pull out this list and start working towards an item on the list! You’ll be achieving something that’s meaningful to you, staying busy, and learning something new. All of which can help contribute to your mood!

Additionally, after doing this for long enough, you’re one step closer to your ideal self. This has worked wonders for me, hope it helps some of you!

Drink more water. It helps, trust me.

Take a 20-30 minute walk everyday. Try to find a few routes that allow you to see more of your neighborhood or work area.

Drink less alcohol. Drink more water.

Developing positive and kind internal dialog. It goes a long way towards improving your outlook on everything else

Meditate

Stop reposting the same stuff on Reddit for karma.

“dRinK WAteR”

Dont play fortnite

Learning to breathe

Help other people. Helping people can not only help you have a better life but others as well.

Go one week a month where you dont use your smart phone, just use like a old nokia

Smile more!

Say Please and thank you. It takes only a few seconds out of your day.

Ask themselves that exact question.

No, seriously, just asking the question is a really good way to start.

Apply for a job instead of making a cardboard sign & standing on the interstate offramp.

Intentionally going outside for like ten minutes a day. Like not just going out to your car or whatever, but just going outside for a bit and taking in the air, and what's around you. Made a huge difference for me, and days that I don't, I actually feel gross.

Being able to determine what is important in life and filtering about the things that don't matter. It helps alot, trust me. Also not caring about what other insignificant people think about you, because they are probably doing the same anyways.

Sleep early. Wake up early.

Wont tell u

Self care. In the field of psychology, clinicians all seem to have they're time they set aside each week to do leisurely things. They don't let anyone touch that time because it's necessary for not being burned out. It's important because it can feel like they're just giving and giving, and not getting anything back. I think of it as earned leisure. Cuz we've all had unearned leisure, which can get you depressed after a while.

Can it be my turn to post this next

Right now, my life would be so much easier if I could find my other Chaco! Also, enough money to fly to California & become a movie star.

Go to bed on time and sleep properly. Eat well and normal. Take better care of your hygene.

Set and uphold firm boundaries in relationships of all kinds.

Don’t have kids until they finish school and get married.

Walk for 30 minutes outside or on the treadmill

There is no easy fix, its a process.

Work on yourself. How? Improve your self esteem: improve it by accepting yourself with all that you are and work on bettering yourself at the same time not to impress people but for yourself(insecurities, flaws, work on your weakness)

Identify your passions and hobbies in life.

Have friends that you can trust and share with. Does not have to be too many. One close friend is better than 10 fake friends.

Meditate

Clean your room everyday

Help others without expecting a return of favor

Stay Humble .

Take a walk. Just go outside and go for a wander. Does me wonders.

Make there bed every morning.

Stay quiet when you don't have anything good to say. Don't incite stupid arguments and people won't incite them with you.

Eating/Drinking properly.

Extremely simple and in some cases cheaper. Switching off soda and into drinking water was one of the best choices I ever made.

Brush their teeth

Before any action no matter how small, ask yourself ”is this a good or a bad decision” with regards to...

Friends, family, finances, fitness, faith, fun, or future

Do you want fries with that? Should I take the stairs or the elevator? Should I watch a movie or study?

Small actions builds up. Between a cheese burger or a salad everyday... one cheese burger won’t kill you but after 10-20-30 years. Who would you think would be healthier or happier?

Remember two acronyms from DBT.

  1. T.I.P.P. - This is a list of things you can do for really high anxiety or panic attacks. Use it for yourself or anything else. This is what it means:

Temperature - I dont know the exact science on this, but if you are in a high level of distress you can use cold water to help. What I do is put like rice or something into a sock and put that into the freezer. In a panic, I can grab that and put it on the back of my neck or my chest or even my eyes. This also works with nausea.

Intense Exercise - Your body holds a lot of your stress, which is why when you are so depressed or anxious you can feel your chest tighten or maybe muscles will tense or you clench your jaw or something. Doing really quick intense exercise like sprinting or jumping jacks can loosen that up. Feel like running away from your life? Go for a run.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation - Same reasons as above but it also helps bring yourself back into your body. Also being mindful of physical sensations can pull you out of those emotions. For this, you just start from the top, tense up your muscles as tight as you can, hold it for a second and then release as you exhale.

Paced Breathing - Controlling your breath works as a distraction and can decrease panic when you are hyperventilating. Basically you inhale while counting to 4, hold your breath at the top for a second, then slowly exhale to a count of 5 or 6, pause at the bottom of your exhale and repeat. The numbers arent as important as being really conscious of your breathing and making sure the exhale is longer than the inhale.

You might have to use more than one, but these have saved my life.

The other one is more practical and basically just tells you to think before you react. The acronym is S.T.O.P. Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully.

These have helped me so much and they arent always easy. But they do work

Don't smoke weed every single day.

Delete Facebook

Buy a pair of leather pants

Drink more water. Eat less sugar.

Seek help if you feel depressed or anxious.

Clean you room

Don't talk about anyone who isn't there with you

Plan your meals or they will plan you.

is /r/askreddit morphing into linkedIN

Wake up...we miss you

Go to bed with a positive mindset and recording down the things your grateful for, so when you wake up, you work up in a much better mind frame!

MTB. Thats it

Realise that happiness has very little to do with the external world. If you are unhappy with nothing. You will also be unhappy with everything. Some people get angry when I say happiness is a choice but it's true

Exercise

Exercise daily. Even if it’s for 20 minutes a day walking around the neighborhood, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Daily exercise will definitely boost your energy levels and overall health.

Drink more water.

Be ten minutes early to everything. Habitually late people are their own wort enemy

Increase your retirement contribution by 1%.

Make your bed. First step of the day

Actually brush your teeth for two minutes, twice a day.

cut out processed foods and sugary drinks.

Spring cleaning, but more frequently. If you take time to go through things and donate or sell stuff you don’t need, you feel good and have a less cluttered home! Nothing makes me feel better than no clutter.

Do the things you enjoy more. Who knows, it may open new doors later!

Clean their room and the stuff they usually interact with

Meditation, exercise, prioritize rest

Follow a set of rules. Break bad habits. Stop looking in the mirror if it makes them feel miserable. Get a pet (preferably a dog). Live in a tidy environment.

Work at panda express, we promote almost exclusively from within and have a shortage of management. The average Assistant makes 55k a year and someone dedicated can make it in 3 to 5 months. A General Manager averages 80k a year and most actively pursuing it get promoted to it in a year. We also have a shortage of senior management vacancies in most states, those can pay 120k to 600k a year.

Stop telling yourself that your life is something to be improved, and stop telling yourself that you deserve to be unhappy because you havent achieved your goals.

There are motivational videos out there, but follow the chain along and you'll see that most of them lead to a product they want you to pay for.

It takes some re-wiring, but start by listing what your essentials are, and remind yourself that as long as the bare essentials are taken care of, the rest of your life is a total blank book, and you can fill the pages any way you like.

Motivation and the people who sell it are toxic, and many people are tricked into thinking they have to have incredible income or status to be worthwhile.

Well guess what, you're already worthwhile, and if you want to spend your evening watching the office on your sofa you built out of pokemon cards, do that shit and enjoy yourself.

Don't let some bro in a YouTube ad make you feel insignificant. History will not remember them, and statistically, remembers nearly none of us. Accept it, and enjoy yourself.

clean little bit at a time.

when i get fuel in my car i will also clean out my car of any trash (papers, cups, water bottles).

cooking, once done i will wipe out all the leftover greases and left over foods then soak overnight, makes for not having such stuck in mess the next day.

Vipassana Meditation. Easy to learn and changed the way that I handle my thoughts.

Its probably been said already, but I can't stress this enough: find a hobby.

I've recently learned myself that its easy to just sit around and go to work and rinse and repeat. Try new things, find something that makes you happy, and follow it.

I spent this passed weekend with some really good people and I learned that even tho its easier to be mad and secluded and inactive, its still pretty easy to listen to yourself, and do things that make you happy.

Clean their room and make their bed in the morning. Simple things that take less than 5 minutes

Walk at least 10,000 steps a day

Brush their teeth 😁

Forgive others. So much anxiety, depression, and pain comes from holding grudges and thinking about how others have disserviced you. Let it go and you'll feel so much lighter!

Read! Doesn’t have to be non fiction but as I’ve gotten older I find that picking up a book and learning a little something about anything has improved my quality of life. Understanding the world around you will give you a sense of comfort and satisfy your drive for personal growth.

Smile and be kind

Go to or organize a somewhat large social gathering with people you know and just have a really good time. I can't speak for everyone but it really grounds in the now, i'm less of a procrastinator afterwards.

Get off Reddit and take a walk

Clean your room, helps a lot.

Pay for Spotify premium, get those ads out of your life.

Brush your teeth at least twice a day, use deodorant and wash your face. Take care of your hygiene in general. Life is nicer when you have clean skin and you smell good.

Suicide

Sleep and wake up on a regular schedual

NO credit cards. Do not live beyond your means.

[deleted]

You know what I mean.

Tell the truth all the time. Lying takes up so much mental energy and most people can tell you're lying

Do a couple sit ups, push ups in the morning, doesn't have to be a whole routine. Your body will like it and you'll feel more awake during the day. Little by little you might make more.

Excersize. You feel better not only physically but mentally after a workout. Not to mention improving health and overall happiness. It gives you confidence. And many people who claim they are "depressed" really need to give daily excerise a shot and see how it feels, before reaching for the pills.

Meditation. Using the Headspace app has helped me so much with negative emotions and thoughts. Even if you think meditation is cliche, just try guided meditation for 5 minutes a day and you may be surprised by how helpful it can be.

Don’t be afraid to say No.

Eatting🤣

You need a hobbit or social get together. Game night with friends, block parties, end of May we are going camping with like 3 other families in the neighborhood. I’m lucky I get paid to do my hobby. I am a reservist in the army and fly helicopters. But you have to do stuff don’t just go to work.

Stop being poor

Exercise

I lower my bar of gratification from time to time just to appreciate the little things.

Example: coming out of an air conditioned room and you go to your car when the sun is hitting and heating the seat at just right angle. Ah just so good. :’)

Stand up straight with your shoulders back.

eat more fiber.

Eat better and exercise.

I’m not saying become a fitness fanatic by any means. I’m not. But i swapped my car for a bicycle, swapped cigarettes for vaping and swapped my snacks for some healthier stuff.

6 months on, i feel better than i have in over a decade. It’s done wonders for me physically and psychologically.

I didnt re-write my life, i don’t count calories or diet necessarily. I still eat the odd bit of shite now and again. Still have a few beers at the weekend.

But little changes go a long way if you stick to them.

Delete Instagram

Find the cure to anxiety.

Drink enough water! It's good for your body and skin, it's God's sweet, sweet nectar, there are no downsides! Take it from an ex soda addict, switch to water, you'll thank me later

If you are student , get a better handwriting

Eat less sugar. Not being addicted to sugar makes my life easier by not making me feel like crap and not requiring me to exercise as much(weight management).

Watch their breath

Learn to say no to things you don't want to do. You won't be happy and the people around you won't be happy with you since you don't want to be there.

Just take yourself out of bad situations... its easier said than done though.

Be happy.

Laugh and don’t take yourself and everything so seriously.

Stop drinking coffee. It solves a lot of little things that people have problems with. Long time overconsumption of caffeine, which can be hit in a single cup of coffee, causes poor sleep, irritability, weight gain, and anxiety.

Watch hentai.

Open an interest savings account that gives you a bonus if your balance is higher at the end of the month.

Takes 2 minutes with most mobile banking apps

stop fapping the whole damm month,take a break

5 Push ups every morning. 5 sit ups every morning. Drink a glass of water after. Make your bed. It will take you 1 min total time to do all of this and you will have accomplished 4 things that all make your life better during that time.

Make your bed every morning.

It looks good, helps your ability to create habits, and not having to worry about aligning your sheets when you are really tired is nice. You should try to take pride in it and do a really good job, so if you had a really bad day, you can think "at least I made the shit out of my bed".

Clean the house

Utilize time.

Really go out of your way to care about what's going on in others' lives. Even taking an interest in the famil/job of an acquaintance really means a lot to the other person and makes it easy to become friends.

Be cooler and get a girlfriend and be a chad

Take criticism

Stop talking much

When doing something,always view things from a third person's perspective and imagine if the person was you.

As an example, you tried to throw a piece of paper into the bin but missed. But you feel too lazy to pick it up.

Now imagine someone else did it in your house and the person does not want to pick it up. You certainly do not want that to happen to you right?

Now do youself and everyone a favour and think from another person's perspective before you do something or when someone does something to you.

If you have something nice to say about someone or something, say it. Compliment their hair, the food they cooked, an idea a co-worker had at work etc. It's such a small thing but it can mean so much.

Just replace all the soda you are drinking throughout the day with water. You will feel better after a couple of days

drink more water

Get off Reddit

Meditate

Put yourself around people who will help you be the person you want to be.

Save a little bit of money.

Have better posture. I always find myself hunching and although I’m only in my mid 20s, I have a ton of back problems already.

Laugh, eat better & surround yourself with people that truly make you feel happy.

Drink more water & limit soda intake or stop drinking soda all-together.

Exercise

Cut out soda. Go vegetarian once a week. Volunteer at local dog shelter when you can.

I started picking up trash. Would go out day and night to curve my bad habits and clear a parking lot or a park. Ended up running 10ks while fasting, sleep deprived and taking cold showers in the middle of winter. Felt unstoppable it really was glorious. I even raced a seal to the beach once.

Smile and show your friends you like them when you meet up.

After a while, you and they will be more happy to see eachother. When I see my best mate about every other weekend, I feel happier and get a big hug, and so do they.

Park in the back of parking lots to get that extra bit of exercise. Usually just as fast too since you never need to look for a spot back there.

Cut out a bad habit, perhaps one that hurts you physically, financially or with time spent.

Honestly. Yoga and or meditation. Not in a class or anything. Just by yourself. There are some great YouTube videos for beginners. Meditation is so hard to learn and maintain (I’ve maintained a practice for years and I don’t even believe I’m doing it “right” most of the time) but a great way into meditation is yoga there is a real mind body connection. There is something to be said for getting your muscles working your heart pumping, your sweat on all while maintaining steady breathing. And the cool down.... letting your mind just be where it is. Anyway yoga.

Edit: you WILL be bad at it at first. It’s fine. It still FEELS amazing.

Stay in touch with family and friends who don't live near you. It doesn't have to be every day. But once a week, just reach out to parents, siblings or good friends who may not be in your "everyday". I think we get focused a lot on who is in our day-to-day and forget to nurture the relationships that have some distance between them.

I talk to a friend in MN every week and it has strengthened our friendship and improved both our quality of life.

Stop drinking soda.

Don't be ugly.

Don't worry, be happy!

spend 10 minutes a day writing about your day or even before your day has started what you're grateful for i.e. a journal, or if you're not a writer, to meditate to reflect, They don't sound like much but its a very simple thing that can make a massive difference. Self-reflection, inner peace, health reasons.

Posture, don’t give yourself terrible grief later in life, learn to sit up straight and walk with a straight back.

Suck more dick

Stay off reddit

Treat yourself

A lot of people get into really amazing financial habits, but they extend these habits to the point they don’t often go a little out there and buy something that they don’t quite need but is quite nice.

Something like that.

Stop thinking about your life as a split between work and life, the whole thing is your life.

Volunteer.

Buy a new pack of socks. You instantly feel so happy when putting them on

Meditate for 5 minutes.

Understand that sometimes quitting is ok.

Meditation.

Seeing how deeply and strongly it has changed me, i honestly believe sitting daily in meditation can turn almost any life into a joyous one (simple breathing meditations, stay away from "space traveling" pseudo spiritual meditations, i think they can do more harm than good).

Smile and be nice to people.

People are usually as shy or anxious or caught up in their lives just like you. Smiling or being nice brightens up everyone's day.

Go to gym, wake up early and read or learn something that can benefit you on your career or hobbies, eat GOOD food

READ! READ! READ! READ CLASSICS.

Calls your parents, it’ll make them feel good and you as well.

something ive been doing recently is to be more efficient, for example, when I'm making a cup of tea, I usually walk to the cupboard to get a cup then back then to the fridge to get milk and then back, then boil kettle, then get spoon thats not very efficient, so now ill boil kettle, get spoon, then cup then milk all in one go and once ive got all that kettle is boiled and can make my tea, I don't know how well I explained that but I try implementing this process at college and other places, just to use my time efficiently with as least trips back and forth possible

Drink a glass of water when they wake up

Eat properly and detox

Sleep regularly. Not just getting the same number of hours each night. Even as an adult, go to bed at by a set time even if you don't go to sleep. Read a book, watch TV, whatever. Just go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time. It will do wonders for you stamina during the day and for your mental health.

Also, try and find time to get regular exercise. Any kind. Take a walk, go for a hike, go to the gym. Anything. You'll feel more energetic and you'll sleep better.

Organize your fucking closet and wear what makes you happy

Drink more water

Drink more water.

Playing skyrim

Live.

Exercise, a gym membership helps but is not needed. Do a strenuous activity 30 mins a day. A healthy body is worth it's weight in gold.

Have a good time

Never stop trying to grow, even if your established in ur feild and content with your life. Try to find things you can improve on or new aspirations. Boredem is the easiest way to fall into a rut. Your never too old to better yourself

By not talking to me

Spend less money than you make.

Invest the money you save.

The amount I let slip through my fingers in my 20's would be worth 500k if I'd just socked it away.

Don’t care what other (unimportant) people think about you

Go outside

Drink more water.

Stand straight

Meditate 10 minutes as soon as you wake up.

Hit the gym and get swole, it'll make your dick bigger, and if you ain't got a sick you'll start to grow one

If you still go to school, enter clubs. Attend meetups. Try to get involved. Except for studying, spend as little time as you can home alone. Go hang out at popular spots around your school. If you‘re by Yourself, find other people and say hi.

This shit takes a lot of practice if you‘re bad at socialising but it is worth it. It helped me through my 10 year battle with depression.

Make your bed! It used to feel redundant but when you get home after a long day to see a crisp bed, it helps to feel like your life is together

It.

Jizz in a bucket

Going to bed early and waking up early to get little things done

RUN

Respect yourself and follow your intuition with a little logic.

Drink water.

Eat healthier food even though it can take longer to prepare

Make a budget and stick to it.

sToP haVinG a bAD liFE

Stop using the snooze alarm.

Drink a glass of water right when you wake up.

Stop eating chips at every god damn chance you get...

Don't watch TV, drop social media, and videogames. Doing this for myself allowed me more time to do what I wanted to do. Also track your time and figure out what consumes most of your time, but it should be those 3 things.

Stop watching TV

I take the lightrail to and from my school every day, and they come about every 4 minutes meaning I frequently barely miss it. Instead of thinking that I missed it every time I see it leaving without me, I force myself to think that I almost managed to catch one earlier than I was supposed to.

It sounds like a really small thing that doesn’t make any real difference, but it turns something negative into a positive thing and gives me a much better start to the day.

Of course this can be hard if missing a bus means you have to wait for a long time, so it isn’t applicable for everyone, and there’s various other factors, but it is something that has made a difference.

Don’t have any expectations for others. Show your gratitude for anything others have done but never expect anything.

Practicing gratitude for all the things in one’s life. The roof over your head, the water you have to drink, and the food you have to eat. The warm cuppa you have to sip, the breath that enters and leaves the body, the blankets and pillows you have for extra comfort, the technology and access to knowledge we have at the palm of our hands. These are all luxuries, and counting our blessings can help us realize all the things we take for granted in our every day lives.

Stop being offended by everything. Take responsibility for your own choices and learn from your mistakes.

Be happy , smile

Exercise

It doesn't have to be anything specific, but exercise improves mood, cognitive ability, fitness, makes you live longer and reduces the risk of whole host of diseases.

It also makes you look better

SLEEP IS HUGE!!! I’ve been on a bettering my self journey and here is some advice my therapist gave me. If you are struggling with negative self-though. Set some type of reminder that every time you see it you have to say a positive thing about yourself. This will help change negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Also putting up positive quotes in places you will see them often.

Guys, once a week give yourself a detail.

In group preference

Go for a simple walk or jog every other day!

read books.

Say “thank you” more often, even if it’s something someone is expected or required to do. Making that person feel appreciated for a moment will go a very long way and costs you nothing. Watch how people start acting towards you when they know you appreciate their efforts.

Meditate

Relax their bodies. Take a deep breath and release the tension you're holding. Even such a simple thing can help make a stressful situation a little better.

Get a planner! Even if you don't have much to write in it, a daily to do list will help you be more productive and make you feel like you're wasting less time. Also, put the phone down and go outside on a pretty, warm day and just appreciate the sunshine and being alive

Stare at light

The weather has been amazing recently and that has caused me to go on hikes and be outside a lot more over the past few days. I got home yesterday and took a shower and while I was in the shower I realized "God damn I feel really great! maybe everybody who ever told me to go outside and exercise was right!"

So ya go outside and be outside.

Whenever you wake up- wherever you’re at- no matter what time it is- smoke a blunt

Want to lose 10-20 pounds in a week with doing any exercise, or weird diet?

Dont eat anything after 7:30 pm.

Your body needs time to restart its metabolism. Allow yourself to be hungry until your next meal. Actual life hack.

Honestly, make your immediate environment better. If that's picking trash up outside your house, keeping things in their proper place indoors, or straightening a painting at work, it makes a huge difference to be in positive environments.

When your area is nice you feel happier and this can really add up over time.

Take a bath

Eat the right foods! Did this myself and I went from taking naps after work to being able to stay awake and energised until the evening.

You can stop reposting this damn question.

When you wake up, make your bed. It's a small accomplishment, but an accomplishment nonetheless. It costs you nothing, takes only a moment, and helps to put you on the right track for the day.

Personal story: I know somebody who is transgender but is afraid to tell everybody and their parents, and is even afraid to cut their hair short. its their dad that scares them as he’s supposedly traditional, and blames the internet for everything.

‘She has an attitude because of those kids she talks to online!’ Yeah... sure man. Because his online friends tell him to act out on you.

It’s really sad, and I feel like he is getting more and more depressed as he can’t be himself... so to answer the question: he should talk to his dad about the issue, and come out and trans.

Talk to family and friends when having problems or feeling misunderstood. Too many people just keep shut and worsen stuff.

I now have some family dispute going on because of that.

Die?

Eat healthy!

I know this is a cop out but people of EVERY age seriously underestimate the power sleep has over your life. I promise you you’ll feel 10x better if you got yourself on a regulated and normal-length sleeping schedule

I love how most of these replies are not simple things at all. "Just do this one little thing .. which requires you to completely change your lifestyle."

How about .. if you're addicted to energy drinks, buy those little bottles of flavor concentrate instead -- they cost about as much as a Red Bull, but are good for many servings. A small squirt in a cheap can of Sprite may not be the same, but in the aggregate you'll save money.

Sleep early, guys I know little kids go to sleep at 9 but it's so helpful

Which trade?

Jog for thirty minutes a day four times a week

Not create a reddit account

Get more sleep.

You don't have enough adventure in your life Will you find yourself just sitting at home playing video games and you just can't seem to get into single player things or alone things I'd suggest a motorcycle. Go on craigslist go buy a dual sport or anything you can find for $1,000, just the driving to work becomes an enjoyment. You'll get up an hour early just to take a longer ride.

First thing in the morning: make your bed

Studying a new language. If you didn't have many friends before then you will be more interesting if you know a new language plus you can communicate and go to places you never been and not be completely lost.

One could better his life by learning grammar.

Drink more water, at morning after waking up, and before going to bed at night

Do Not have blacked out windows. It will effect your mood over the long term.
If you sit for longer than an hour, go walk around for 5 minutes. <- Solutions to problems also magically pop into your head while you are walking around.

Lots of vitamin B. It's whats in energy drinks that gives you energy besides caffeine. It comes in pill form.

Failing college classes in the past has given me the ability to remain calm and have a good attitude even while standing on the deck of a sinking ship. The world doesn't end. You become the dog drinking coffee in the burning room and know that everything will be ok. Short term failure is fine, giving up is only when you really lose.
Just keep trying.

Keep drinking to a single night a week, and if you drink hard alcohol, never mix it with anything. Shots only. This will reduce how much hard liquor you drink, lessen the hangover, and reduce the calories from a single night of drinking. Less sugar = Less hangover. Instead of cheap whisky and coke, just drink good whisky on it's own or with ice/water.

Any problem you will ever experience has been solved by someone 10 years ago on stackoverflow. (programming)

My idea. Learn how to love all of the small things. It's really good, when you are upset or depressed, to find happines in every smallest things, which surrounds you. In art, music, nature, animals or other people. In everything what is accesible for everyone.

Making your bed right when you wake up.

Sleep a full 8 hours every night

There are other ways to be rested. 8 hours doesn't work for me personally.

I would say this is a simple thing to make your life better tho. This isn’t a sub for debate my dude lol

Choose to interpret peoples words as though they always mean well. The world treats you as you treat it, pretending that everyone is nice makes it true very quickly.

Show up a few minutes early, suitably dressed, with a smile.

Wake up early

Every once in awhile, take 10 minutes out of your day to tidy up your general appearance. Notice that your lips are chapped and dry? Apply some chapstick and drink some water. Are your eyebrows threatening to take over, just pluck them a bit. It doesn't have to be perfect, just a bit 'better'. Are your shoes scuffed or dirty? Take a few minutes to clean them up. Are there loose strings or buttons on your outfit? Snip them or sew it back if you can. Invest in some generic face cleaning wipes because sometimes you just aren't going to bother washing your face during the day if you get dirty or oily or maybe you're like me and touching your face a billion times a day and that bitch needs wiped off.

Seriously, just spending a few minutes here and there tidying your appearance real low-effort style makes a big difference, especially if you're not typically a fastidious person. I exist in a state of controlled chaos and the 10 minutes of dedication to reigning it in makes a huge difference in my personal presentation-- and the effects are cumulative.

Make your bed every morning, and do at least 15-30 minutes of cleaning every day. Doesn't matter when. Makes you feel so much better about your surroundings.

Eat better. Most people are fat and that's easy to fix with diet.

drink water it feels good and doesnt taste bad also is usually free at restaurants

say hello to people, whether you know them or not. the more you interact with others, the more likely people are to interact and be nice to you. i know this gets said a lot, but you never know who's day you can brighten with just a simple "hey". plus, not only does it benefit them, but you get the satisfaction of doing something nice for others, and let me tell you, it sure does feel nice knowing you're a good person.

Clean your room

Get a dog and devote yourself to him/her.

Don’t act like me.

Exercise Don’t smoke Don’t drink Don’t make every meal an extravaganza of fat and sugar Make friends Be kind Smile Laugh Listen to people Don’t be a pretentious prick Be nice Don’t be an asshole Don’t think you’re smarter than everyone you meet Don’t drink Don’t smoke Exercise

Start being WAY more positive. Most rich people are extremely positive. While money does help with positivity, positivity also helps with success so it's so underrated and we aren't good at teaching young people this.

Drink water.

Late to the party, but this is some great advice from "7 habits of highly effective people" Very highly recommended reading.

Work in your circle of influence. Imagine 2 circles, one inside the other. The inner circle is all the things you can actually influence, i.e. Eating healthy, nurturing relationships, your career. The outer circle is the things you care about but can't directly work on right now. So, for me that's climate change, Brexit, etc.

Concentrate your energy on the things in the inner circle. I can't influence these things directly, so it's not worth worrying too much about them. That's a waste of energy.

I can focus on getting my degree finished though, so I can further my career (in renewable energy) and make more of a difference. By getting my degree, my circle of influence will get slightly bigger, and I can do more to save our civilisation from our impending doom. =)

TL;DR: You can't influence all the things you're concerned about, so concentrate on the things you can.

Stop focusing on people that aren't worth it. Literally the best thing that ever happened to me. Once you realize that this person is an asshole - cut the bs and ignore them. It saves me so much energy which can be used on other, more important things.

Go to bed earlier. You don’t know how tired you are until you reset and have a couple of proper night’s sleep.

  1. Graduate high school

  2. Don't have kids out of wedlock

  3. Get a job. Any job.

  1. Don't have kids.*

Sleep.

Obviously going to be downvoted for this, but not eating meat/animal byproducts is a big one in my opinion.

Keep toilet paper in the bathroom under your sink.

Spend sometime on the weekend preparing for the work week. Plan lunches and dinners, but the groceries, fill the gas tank.l, etc. Makes the work week much easier.

Eat more fiber

Read 12 rules for life.

Substitute soda with water. The results aren't exactly noticeable at first but water is definitely a step up compared to soda.

Workout, seriously why the fuck aren’t you in the gym. Just 1h 3x a week makes a huge difference.

Make your bed as soon as you wake up so if you have a horrible day, you'll have a nice bed to get into.

Grow a plant in a pot. Take care of it.

Not be here

Fill the dishwasher as you use dishes. Start a load of laundry when your hamper gets full. If you just let things pile up, quality of life will suffer as you have to navigate the mess everyday, and eventually you'll have to invest much more time all at once to get through everything.

On the other hand, it's satisfying to clean up a decent mess and just annoying at best to do a million little things to keep everything in perfect order.

I prefer going all out once a week.

It depends on how quickly things can pile up. With a wife and kids, if we let things pile up for a week, we could have multiple loads of laundry/dishes to do over the weekend.

That's why you distribute the responsibilities between people and days of the week :)

Brushing your teeth in the shower, saves time.

Drink more water.

Balance, practice standing on one leg with your eyes closed. It will help you later in life, advice from my physio.

The pomodoro or 25 minute technique. It’s short enough not to be arduous but long enough to be useful. Basically setting yourself a 25 minute timer to do whatever it is you need to do. Whether it’s studying or tidying or anything else.

As someone with the discipline of a toddler it’s been really helpful.

Just put the top back on the marker

Make your bed when you wake up

Pay attention to your subconscious, and ask yourself qestions about the little tendencies you have and such. A whole lot of things live there that can help you become more self aware person who appreciates just what surrounds them. Sounds like some hippie crap, but it really adds a lot of value to life.

eat ass

Talk to a therapist.

Be nice to other people expecting nothing in return.

Get off Reddit. Seriously, I wish I could take my own advice. I spend hours here just scrolling.

Read.

drink water

Drinking more water.

When is going to be my turn to post this same question?

living

Help someone in need. Family, Friends or a stranger. Doesn't take much to help someone to make the world a better place. A little help goes a long way.

Be good

Don’t fall into debt. Pay your credit cards off each month. Buy a house and a car within your means.

Having money problems off the list of shit you have to worry about is a huge life improver.

Accept help. I grew up doing everything by myself and thought I had something to prove (still guilty of it frankly) - you don’t have to do it all on your own. Talk to someone about your mental health, say “thank you” when someone compliments you, and ask for help when you need it. It makes life better.

Make your bed every day. If you dont do anything else all day you can at least say you did that one thing.

Drink water instead of soda

Do that thing you've been wanting to do. Everyone waits until it's too late. Sometimes you just have to go out and do it. And you'll feel happy for a while after.

Unless that thing is murder.. then maybe dont do it.

Delayed gratification

Fuck

Act upon your desires

be kind

Make their bed.

I like to augment my screen-time by simultaneously crocheting small animalz and penis-warmers.

Makes me feel productive while 2nd-round re-binging Russian Doll and they make great gifts that brighten people's days and nights.

Be rich

Ě̴̬̭̥͕̲̉̇N̡̪̮̲͌͂͢D̴̩͔̯̖̪̦̯̗͔͋ͧ̒̏̆̂̀ͥ ̝̜̅͂͂̿͑̅͜͟Ī̅ͨ̒ͪ͆͑҉̛͙͕̟̱̩̫͔̞Ţ̛̫̠͌̀ͦͦ̌ͤ̂̀

Quit smoking
Walk 15 minutes a day
Spend 10 minutes a day just looking around, no cell, no staring, no work, no nothing, just take a look around

Just smile

Wear nice clothes. Always makes me feel a little more put together.

Short term achievement will can will long term achivements

Make a planner or whiteboard if you don’t have one. I’ve done it in the past but never stayed consistent, about a month ago I started again and the effects have been SIGNIFICANT.

Any of the things you already know you should be doing, and aren't.

Go for a walk once a day.

Whether it's walking your dog, walking to work, even getting off the bus/train a few stops early and walking the rest of the way. It's best if you have a park nearby. Do it for a few weeks and you'll notice the difference in your day-to-day life.

Stop drinking bad coffee. Find a brand of good coffee drink that as your day to day. I don’t mean Starbucks or latte coffee shop, good quality coffee grounds for your home coffee pot was a game changer for me

stop smoking/doing other drugs

Try your best to find trust in people around you.

Try and stretch and workout everyday. Helps you focus and helps you stay fit!

Really helps when your sitting all the time in the office. Your back will open up!

Jack it.

Cut back on caffeine, it’s greatly reduced my anxiety and helped me get a better nights sleep.

Just stop lying about everything. Be honest, it pays off and avoids all sorts of problems.

drink more water.

Clean your room!

Be 100% transparent. Being honest with people is simpler than most people make it out to believe.

Make a point to check in on your friends, even if things are going well for them. Just a simple "hey how have you been?" Or "I saw a movie that I thought you'd enjoy" can make a big difference. It shows your friends you really care about them, and it's a simple thing that takes a few minutes, and can really strengthen your friendship.

Here are three things I started doing recently that have really improved my life:

Drink water in stead of soda

Say yes more often when people ask me to do things like going out to have adrink, play some board games, go to the movies,...

Make a todo list, it feels good to have completed the list at the end of a workday and it motivates me to start a new item on the list

And just enjoy life, it’s not worth your time feeling sad or depressed

Post an ambiguous question on reddit asking people a simple thing someone can do to better their life.

Clean your room, car, and living space in general. Just take small steps to slowly clean up your life. It works wonders for me.

Be grateful for 3 good things everyday, for at least 21 days.

Exist correctly

Brush, floss, even take a dental pick to your mouth sometimes

Simply go OUTSIDE..

Take a walk every day. Not a long one but a short one like around the block a few times

Love themselves unconditionally and forgive

Dress better. You'll be amazed at how much more confidently you carry yourself and how much better you treat/care for yourself with a new coat of paint.

Granted, you don't want to become vain or anything either, stay humble, but show the world what you're worth.

Make your bed every morning.

There was a motivational speech someone made where it instils a basic form of discipline, tidiness and even if you’ve had the worst day - at the very least you come back to a nice made bed. Helped me a lot during a tough time actually.

https://youtu.be/pxBQLFLei70

Work smart and make a poorer person than yourself work hard.

I've only ever done it a few times, but bikram yoga takes regular yoga to a whole new level. Talk about touching your toes, i could put my my palm on the top of my foot!

Go vegan

Similarly eat delicious succulent meat.

Yum obesity and animal abuse.

Cuz moderation doesnt exist right !

Not when it comes to eating hormones and pesticides. Or when it comes to animal abuse.

Then what kind of plants do you eat. And fyi. You can buy meat without additives.

Stop wasting hours on reddit lol

Smile every now and then. Even if nothing much is happening. Just smile.

Lay down and let your body do whatever it wants, don't try to move your body just release and let go. It has changed my life

Argue less, listen more.

Unsubscribe from junk mail, newsletters etc you're not interested in. It saves you time and lessens distractions from notifications while decluttering your inbox. It just takes 5 mins to unsubscribe from several emails that will give you more time and less clutter for the future. Simple thing with big rewards.

Repost this question every other week.

One thing that school taught me was to break down time consuming tasks into segments. I.e. 1 hour reading into 3 20-minute reading s.

Get to a healthy weight. Even if you're only a "little" overweight, it's holding you back.

Following

Be nicer to those around them

Get outside for just a couple minutes a day, and don’t bring your phone. It doesn’t have to be anything special or strenuous, just take a few moments to observe what’s going on around you and let your mind breathe.

Fuck you just fuck an S U C C

drink more water. get more sleep.

Learn a martial art.

Drink a bottle of water first thing every single day, and EAT BREAKFAST!

If you get up early in the morning, it tends to make your days last longer with more time in each day to do things.

SMILE

For real..smile throughout the day, especially when you talk to people. It will improve your mood and others will be more willing to help you

Never get into Reddit again.

Go for a walk once and a while. It's not strenuous, but that little bit of physical exercise makes a huge difference.

Take time to figure out why you are angry. It pays off in the end.

Learn basic critical thinking skills.

Take care of shit as soon as possible, not as late as possible.

I'm still working on it, but the times I succeed everything goes way better and I don't have crushing anxiety about all the things I'll just have barely enough time to do if the stars line up and I deprive myself of proper food and sleep.

Stay away from me!

Delete facebook and forget about all the drama that goes with it.

Talk to more people

Smoke weed

Cook!

People don’t understand that cooking isn’t only a nutritional thing, but it also carries significant psychological weight. When you cook a nice, filling meal, you feel good about it.

Don’t worry if you feel you can’t cook. It’s not something that happens overnight. It takes experience and trial and error sometimes, but learning is the fun part!

Seriously, eating a well-balanced home cooked meal will help depression, anxiety, insomnia, etc. far more than fast food will. (and it’s cheaper)

Stop questioning silly stuff.

Breathing

For those out there like me with terrible motivation issues.

Break a daunting task up into smaller, more easily achievable tasks or just set a timer and work on it until the timer goes off. 30 minutes might not get the entire task done but if you get at least that much done it won't be as much work the next time around.

It might take the entire weekend to clean my office and bedroom but it's better than just leaving it to sit until I magically find the time in my schedule as well as the will to do it all at once.

Deleting Facebook

Get off of reddit

I heard once that when you first wake up, you should make your bed. No matter how you feel. It should be the first thing you do every morning, so that you’ve accomplished something within the first 5 minutes of the day. That way, you’ve done something small to kickstart your day, and no matter how the day goes, you can come home to a made bed.

Drink more water

Dont have an unplanned pregnancy

Diet.

stop drinking soda. choose to walk whenever possible. drink water whenever possible.

Use exclamation marks at the end of sentences! It really helps!

Thank God or just be thankful for what is happening in life at the present moment. Things may suck and you may not be doing what you hope to have or planned but be positive and curtious to others. Don't be a "Johnson".

Don't play too much of CSGO or League. Yeah they're great games but you do not need that one extra 45 mins-ish game. Just leave it and go do/ play something else.

I used to spam those games and the result was that I wasn't happy. After a particularly wasteful day of doing nothing but CSGO and League, I stopped and have been the happiest I have ever been!

Cook yourself. Go vegetarian if you can, it will improve your finance and health.

I would say learn to be exact about why you want something and what you need to do to achieve it. How can you be happy about anything if you don't know when you actually have/achieve it. I.e. you don't want to state you want a better job, you want to state what would make it better. Imagine I want a job that pays me 500 more every month. The extra money would give me room to pay off my loans and not compromise on going out with friends. You current job can't give you this extra money because you do not have the room to outperform and get recognized for it, so as much as it sucks to leave your friends at work behind the thought of not being able to pay off your loans and go out with your other friends could form a strong enough reason to hold on to the idea of changing your job even when the process becomes difficult. If you do not have a strong enough reason for something you won't have the drive to keep at it. But to get that reason you have to be exact on what it is you want in the first place, the more exact the better.

Regular counselling

dOnT bIg SUicIdE dxDxXddX

Stop drinking and your life will get better. At least that's what my father told me. He passed last year from cancer. It seemed to work out for him though. He was married to my mother for 40 years and raised a decent family. I miss you Dad.

15 minutes per day, just study something. Doesn't really matter what, just study.

Gratitude list(s)

Go for 10 - 20 min walk every day

Don't do DIY kind of things and let the professionals take care of your needs. Otherwise you're frequently gonna end up with a lot of broken stuff or spend your good time in an ER.

Every night, before you go to sleep, think about everything you are grateful for this day. Will help a lot on your mental health.

Using a calendar/planner. It helps to keep you organized with all the stuff that’s going on in your life, what more can I say?

Google Calendar is free, and and with an extension I’m able to make it the homepage on Firefox. So it doesn’t hurt to give it a try tbh

Stretch. Walk. Read. Garden. Play with animals.

Finances. So many people spend money on shit they don’t need then wonder why they’re broke.

Stand up straight.

If you are wrong don’t be afraid to admit it to other people

Get off Reddit and get shit done

Assume people are making mistakes rather than acting out of malice.

Lift weights

Ave a wank

Clean their house

Vote Republican.

Find a hobby you really like. Dont be afraid to try new things.

Open their mind to learning.

Preparing ourselves to learn is one of the toughest task.

A lot is sorted when we open our minds to learn. It takes us to places we have never been and exploration becomes fun.

Stop fucking smoking

This literally gets posted once a day

Be smart in his work and gather knowledge from everywhere that's helps to the better life..

Daylight laps! I use mine to wake up every day and it has changed my life! No longer do I wake up at the sound of my alarm, the sunrise wakes me up!

Don't know if it's already been said, but meditate.

Get a full nights sleep.

Manage your time. Try remembering or righting down the time u need to go to the bus, have a shower, walk from the bus stop to work. Then calculate the time u need to get somewhere. Now you'll be on time more frequently, and, maybe even have more spare time, since u know when less time is needed

Black tar heroin

Eat more dark green veggies

Brush your teeth in the shower. Saves time, can be as messy as you want, and you’ll usually end up brushing for longer.

Ive asked the same question with different wordings. Yet no response.

Avoid procrastinating on “life” with escapes like books, films, games, music, drugs, drinking, over eating and other fun hobbies and vices.

As someone who had a serious game addiction while my life fell apart (and now trying to slowly balance it out), I found that I turned to games massively when really I should have tackled and faced my immediate problems sooner.

There’s nothing wrong with escaping into your hobbies but moderation is incredibly important and if your current life situation is the reason to escape to those things then your life isn’t going to change if you continue to escape.

I speak to many people who are addicted, unemployed and homebound and sit and play games all day - and while I believe in the massive good games do for people, I am also aware of their more often addiction-driven design.

Stop blaming everything else and pick yourself up. Games will always be there (and cheaper later down the line) but your life, your years, don’t wait.

Ever since, I’ve enjoyed games and my life more. I feel happier in my day to day than before. I no longer have an underlying “guilt” when I play and I know I can pay rent and build a life for myself - even if slowly. And still tackle that boss when I get home.

Keep everything clean.

Don't get into arguments with fools. I used to do this all the time and refused to not get into arguments because I tought it wasn't fair to just let the wrong dude be wrong. But one day I actually tried and it is pretty helpful, you won't get into unnecessary stress and you will be able to control your anxiety and such in a long term.

Cut down on phone usage you will be way happier! Install Offtime which tells you how many hours and minutes a day you use your phone. I was spending 3.5 hours on my phone a day and now I only spend 1 hour a day, much happier and productive now. I also deleted facebook, insta and tinder which really dig into your time and self esteem

Set the coffeemaker the night before.

Make your bed in the morning. Nothing like a mini accomplishment to start your day right.

Be appreciative.

Try to take a second out of your day to appreciate even the smallest things in your life.

Be the person you would like others to be.

Start meditating. 60 seconds each morning. Simple.

Meditate. 5 minutes a day is incredibly healthy.

If you have sleeping problem, switch to espresso based drinks in the morning. While on a per volume basis, espresso has more caffeine than your cup of joe, you end up drinking 6-10 times more caffeine with coffee. I found that an americano gives me the quick jolt I need, but doesn’t affect my sleep the way coffee did.

Have a routine.

M O N E Y

Get off reddit and other social media

Drink a glass of water in the morning. I find this jump-starts me just as well as a caffeinated drink, plus; it’s water! Might as well knock out one of your daily glasses as soon as you wake up.

  • Stretch periodically, especially if you are a student or work a job that requires you to sit for long periods.

  • Learn to laugh at yourself/your own failures (when appropriate- if you’re a surgeon and you just accidentally killed somebody, maybe don’t laugh...)

  • Remember “please” and “thank you.” Being polite goes a long way in the “others’ opinion of you” department.

  • Sometimes it’s better to STFU and keep things to yourself. For example, if somebody likes wrestling and you think it’s silly, shush. You’ll only sound like a pretentious asshole.

  • Same goes for telling someone something they like is bad (ex. TV show, game). Just don’t. A lot of the people who would publicly agree with you are ones you wouldn’t benefit at all from.

Everyone says make your bed. I think its bs , I get no joy out of making my bed or seeing it made. I do get joy out of cleaning off my desk and seeing it organized, or doing somthing productive.. Same principle yeah I know. I just dont see how making your bed is productive other than feeling good you did somthing today.

Stop drinking poison— I mean, alcohol.

Make decisions like you're a good person.

Notice I said "like"...fake it till ya make it, buddy.

Not compare yourself with other people. Just your past self

Stop drinking soda. Drink herbal tea, green tea, black coffee or water instead.

Really good discussion.

Simply being active at least an hour a day can really help. I prefer on my lunch during the work week. It's a really good way of resetting before going back to the desk. Find a workout you enjoy instead of just doing it because "you have to"

Creating a simple budget you can stick to. I heavily rely on the 50/30/20 budget and it's done great wonders for me. That's 50% of income goes to Bill's, 30% goes to every day expenses like gas or going out with friends, 20% into savings.

Create small goals for the week that you should accomplish. Ie. Get the oil changed on the car, clean the room, buy the S.O. flowers. Stuff like that. Youd be amazed how much you get done like that. Write it down so you have accountability. Check things off when their done. Super satisfying.

A better life is never going to be a one and done type deal. Its constant work as your life is constantly happening (until it doesn't lol). But when you enjoy what you're doing you'll never work a day in your life.

Maintain your car properly. If you're in the US, a car is most likely a necessity. It's the second most valuable thing you own probably. And the thing you rely on most to be able to get to and from your job, home, anywhere else.

Any downtime or problems with it caused by not taking care of it properly creates both stress, loss of wage, and wasted time that can be pretty easily avoided.

Never feed into someone’s negative emotion.

You have a choice to stop the chain reaction of bad vibes by simply acknowledging that by letting other people upset you, you only perpetuate negativity

Learn something new every day. Also, try going through the principles of the Indian guru-Chanakya (Just google Chanakya neeti).

Get both of their cousins pregnant. Worked for me 👍

  1. Keep updating your knowledge and keep spreading knowledge.
  2. Help others.
  3. Give respect, gain respect.
  4. Never have an ego, but always have self respect.
  5. If you ever want to regret, never regret decisions, regret your actions and learn from them.

MOST IMPORTANT... 6. It is very easy to give up, but difficult to hang on. So hang in there. Never ever give up.

Hope this post helps someone. Thanks.

-Drink more water = helps health -Breathing exercises to help with anxiety -Get a dog!

Explore the state parks and conservation lands nearby. Don't think of a hike as being a weekend activity, get out of work and go take a mile long walk in the woods. Rent or buy a kayak or canoe and go check out some local lake and rivers. So many people wait all year for their vacation when they finally get to do what I do all the time when they're watching TV. I'm out in nature at least once a week, I know people who haven't taken a stroll through the woods in years. Even the dense city has buses and trains that go to places where you can just go off and be alone with nature.

Do....not....get....married.

Spend time with the family you have

Step back from the drama

Be polite, respectful, and smile at people even if you are having a bad day. About 4 months ago, and for 8 years before that,I was always in pain and super depressed. No matter what I was always polite and smiled at people when I was out. I never knew if someone was having a bad day and a smile could change it. Always got extra stuff, discounts, offered "tips" (I would politely decline) for helping elderly or more disabled at a store, etc. Even though I was miserable, making others feel better, even just a tiny bit, is worth it and makes me feel better!

Wear clothes that are comfortable instead of clothes that you think make you look better

Check out Steve Maxwell's Daily Dozen.

Excellent start.

Eat better overall - but specifically drink more tea. Tea is cheap, easy to make and has lots of health benefits, it's something that can be very good to you without huge lifestyle changes.

Eat and drink

Go to bed on time and imagine how refreshed youll start the next day

Flossing your teeth daily.

Hygiene. Nobody wants to hire someone that stinks.

Compliment people. A small compliment can go a long way, some people might be having a really bad day and that one conpliment could cheer them up. Just be nice people. Someone might return the favour

Acid.

Meditacion

Every morning look into a mirror and say to yourself "Day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better"

​

There's physiology behind this and it works.

​

....and I just notice we're 9K comments into this thread so no one is going to read it.

Every morning look into a mirror and say to yourself "Day by day, in every way, I'm getting better and better"

​

There's physiology behind this and it works.

​

....and I just notice we're 9K comments into this thread so no one is going to read it.

Do something with someone. It can be as simple as going to the movies with a friend. There is nothing more exciting than going to a packed theater where everyone is super involved in the movie. I think that’s why people love reaction channels or showing their friends a funny clip because it makes us feel a little less lonely and allows us to share our experiences together.

this song has the answers you're seeking

Start helping other people. Once you start doing this, you get an overwhelming intrinsic feeling of happiness, and there's no limit to how much you can help people! Plus, once you start doing this, you learn a LOT about yourself, and, I personally started to get more ideas for both business and emotional success.

Having a heathy amount of not caring what other people think about you or what you look like.

Exercise. I'm not saying jump straight into crossfit or running marathons, it can be as little as a 30 minute walk per day or beginner's yoga.

I've been walking on a treadmill for 45 minutes almost everyday since February, and everyone around me has noticed I have more energy because of it.

Exercise and meditate 5 minutes each every morning

Keep your house clean

Drink more water

Whenever encountering anything horrible or traumatic, always degrade it to be insignificant and not worth putting thought to.

Read

Shower every morning when you wake up.

This comes straight from my mom who had some very dark and tough times raising little kids with a husband at war and parents and relatives dying at the same time. When you just start to drift into consciousness and start thinking out your day - what needs to be done, what you should get done, hopefully before your kids are awake and demanding things from you, get your butt in the shower. It wakes you up and gives you a little extra momentum to get your day started. From there, it's easier to get dressed ('cuz you're already naked), easier to go downstairs and get breakfast started. Even if you just want to put the PJ's back on and go back to bed, and some days it's perfectly fine to do that, you'll have to make the conscious decision to do so. It's one step further than the toilet and it'll be one thing off the list.

I could see it helping if you have kids, but I much rather shower at night , relaxed me way more just before going to sleep.

Personally, I shower most evenings because I'm dirty as fuck by the end of the day. But you know those days, and we all have 'em, where you're not rushing out the door for work, but you'll require a kick in the pants if you're ever going to get moving. That's when Mom's voice rings in my head, and I force myself out from under the covers and shower again - sometimes just to get the water hot and a solid 5 minute rinse. The rest of my day goes 100% better.

Oh that makes sense lol. I've programmed myself to leave for work with no time to do anything else or I'm late lol. Not a great habit but I'm on autopilot till I'm in the car.

Doing something productive, regardless how big or small it is. Exercise, clean the house, do something to enhance yourself (I like to read the news).

Try to live your values. If something you do, buy, support, etc... makes you uneasy or uncomfortable think about ways you can get out of this routine. When you start living your values, you will feel better about who you are, and your life in general. Find what is important to you and follow through. It’s worth it!

Use a hydrating facial cream! I get so disguted by people not taking care of their body (especially face).

Drink more water, read, show appreciation to others.

stop overthinking

Try to always look on the bright side of life. It doesn't help you or anyone else if you're always grumpy and only see the bad things. Just follow the songs. Don't worry. Be happy.

Follow the simple flowchart for being upset about something:

Can you directly change what you’re upset about?

If yes: Then change it.

If no: allow yourself to be upset, accept that it’s out of your control, and then move on.

Also, embrace discomfort. Start with simple, easy things. Keep the temperature a little hotter or a little colder than you normally would. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable. If it’s hot outside, go out and be uncomfortable. Same if it’s cold. Become comfortable with the physical feeling of discomfort. You’ll eventually be able to use that in accepting being uncomfortable in other ways. Learn to use that physical, mental, and emotional discomfort as a tool to better yourself.

Move out of NYC

Cold. Showers.

Why. I was taking cold showers all winter. Other than being pissed off for 15 minutes and shivering when getting out and absolutely not looking forward to it the next day what benefits could their be. It was actually making me feel depressed.

It’s not for everyone. I have had a hard time adjusting to getting back into the swing of college (I dropped out and am currently going back), and hot showers in the morning would tire me out and give me anxiety to not want to go to class. I found that cold showers not only meet the energy I need in the morning, supposedly the shock of cold to your brain works similarly to how electroshock therapy is used on patients suffering from mental illnesses (i.e. depression). I can say for the last three weeks my life has flipped upside down in terms of General happiness and health. Wether it’s placebo or not, I don’t really care. I just received word of an internship I was looking for and I have an interview next week! Cold showers aren’t for everyone I suppose but it was the difference between night and day in my life. Sorry to hear it wasn’t working out for you ):

EDIT: grammar

EDIT 2: if anyone is wondering where I sourced this information, I followed this YouTube video and then did some on proprietary research. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MsSBBPeNNDY (sorry it’s on mobile)

Hey, I'm glad its helped you. Whatever works right.

Exactly! I’m thinking that cold showers might have helped your forward positive thinking mate! (;

Drink more water.

Watch Vsause, Steins;gate, Clannad and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIivJwz5jL8.

Always try to do one thing better everyday. It doesn’t have to be something big. It could be as simple as instead of having 2 sodas have 1

Track every dollar you spend. Having to open an app and write down what you spend on what holds you accountable to yourself. Takes all of 3 seconds of your day and it becomes instinctive after a month, I do it when I'm waiting for a recipt. I use Money Manager.

New windshield wipers if yours are terrible. Costs like $30 but it makes a difference. (Also tires and breaks - but that gets costly)

Once the weather gets nice take an hour after work to vaccume your car out at a gas station. Your car mats hold more salt and dust then you'd think.

Carry a water bottle with you wherever you go.

Keep water by you at night and finish it when you wake up in the morning. Also has cut my amount of hangovers in 1/3.

Change your pillow cases every 2 days and sheets weekly.

15 minutes of chores when you get home after work. Literally all the chores are taken care of in that much time.

I keep a list of what I want to get done every day - this is the only one that isn't applicable to everyone as it can be hard for some to manage but it's literally changed by life more than any one thing. I make my whole week every 30 minutes on a Sunday evening.

If you have pets and they're shedding brush them. You'll have to sweep once a season instead of every 2 days. Unless you have a husky.

Don't make your bed. It's actually bad for the bed and creates a musky smell in your room. Ideally you'll have a window that gets sunlight on your bed - move the sheets and blankets to the corner and let the sunlight kill the bacteria.

You don't have to do all of this shit, but these are a few small changes that completely changed my life.

Drink more water.

Get in shape.

Correct their grammar

Cup a fart and smell it. You can tell if there is something going to the dumps if the smell has a vastly different aroma than a cheese pizza normally does.

Keep your room clean.

This is one I need to work on: Spend less time on your smartphone/pc.

what are you doing now to post this comment

Vedic meditation. 20 minutes twice a day. 10-20% happier all the time.

Stand up for yourself. If you don’t think you’ve been treated fairly, say so. I started doing this in my late twenties and couldn’t believe how much everything changed.

[removed]

Yeah with wii's graphics no wonder your eyes hurt.

Start investing. I have 10% of my paycheck taken out and put into my 401k becore it hits my bank. That's a lot, but even if you put in 5%, or $50, or a smaller amount, if the fund is good you'll have a good sum later in life. Compounding interest is the shit.

Ideally 401k and a seperate Investment account.

Smile and always be thanksful and happy

SMILE :D

Exercise

Survive.

Stop hating on everything and everyone

Why

Stop reading the news.

Eat Food that you have cooked yourself. It doesn't need to be extremely healthy or balanced or anything. Just make sure you made it from scratch. Cooking is a lot of fun and whatever you make will definitely be healthier than processed or fast food. Even if you tried, you couldn't put that much fat and sugar into your food. And it'll create at least some small routine in your life to follow.

Make you bed every morning. It's a small accomplishment, but it is a nice way to start off you day with an easy task that makes your room nicer to come home to.

A teensy bit of regular exercise can do wonders.

Go for a walk every day.

Crank out 1 a day no matter what!

Minimize clutter and take 20 mins a day just to tidy up.

Make your bed and do the dishes. DAILY. Incredible change in your attitude

Greatly lower the expectations of most people in your life.

When at work, take your breaks and eat your lunch away from your desk/work site. This does many things for you.

The big one being it gives you time to rest your brain and keeping you fresh.

Second, it keeps your supervisors expectation of you working 24/7 in check.

Third, is taking time to talk with your fellow employees about their live and get to know them on a personal level. You’d be surprised how much your co-workers are willing to help when your seen as equals.

Last. This one has nothing to do with the first statement. But for the love of the universe, there is no need to throw your co-workers under the bus just to make yourself or others look better. You’re on the same team so act like it.

Better yet. You dont have to talk to anyone.

Haha for us introverts that would definitely be the case.

Get a dog or, even better, have a baby.

Take time for yourself, whether that's going to the gym for an hour, having a nice hot bath and listening to music, or reading your favourite book. Whatever it is just take abit of time out each day to just relax and work on you. It makes a huge difference to your mental health.

Well my mom could better her life if she stopped doing meth.

Clean your room.

If you're trying to lose weight - do the 16:8 fast.

16 hours of fasting (mostly while asleep) and 8 hours you're allowed to eat.

I usually don't eat till lunch time or later - if you feel hungry drinking water will sooth your stomach till your next meal

Just last night i decided that now is the best time in my life to lose weight. I'm not overweight or too big but i could be slimmer. This is great advice thank you i will try it out

If this is short term it's probably fine. But long term Be careful with not eating for that long , some poeple it can lead to ulcers.

Drinking less alcohol in college /life, speaking from personal experience

Be kind to each other.

Invest in your bed.

Workout

Drink more water

One of my friends at university had this saying (possibly paraphrased from someone else):

Compete with others and you become bitter

Compete with yourself and you become better.

I think this is great because it is easy to feel downhearted, and perhaps jealous of people who appear to be doing "better" than you, but as a general rule, if you are trying to do better than you did before, you are winning.

It's also easy to become bitter towards people who you think are doing better than you, but in reality, there could be an area where they are really struggling, and they perhaps don't see themselves as doing that well. Try not to be rude, or mean, to people who you think are doing better than you, because in the end, it won't improve how you are doing, and hey, they might be willing to help you if you ask them nicely.

Treat others with respect. Everyday I refer to people with yes sir, no sir, yes ma’am and no ma’am. You would be surprised at how people view you positively for so small a gesture.

This seems to trend once a week. I always say workout and eat healthy.

Practice mindfulness and meditation. Even just focusing on your breathing for 5-10 min a day will change your world.

use Unreal Engine 4. its fun.

Be kind to yourself and to other people. The end.

Drink bleach

Take your mental health seriously, I'm not saying drop a few hundred dollars on therapy but maybe drop a few friends who only ever hit you up when they need something. It's a crappy feeling to only matter when someone else needs something and I'm seriously getting ready to change my phone number over this crap.

⠀

m e d i t a t e

It may sound obvious, but regular exercise. I’ve found that daily exercise has reduced anxiety, depression and boosted confidence, happiness. It’s like a miracle drug. You feel better immediately, it doesn’t cost much, it clears my head when I’m in a funk and ofc all the long term benefits.

Drink more water.

I make mini bucket lists for every year (after I got tired of a very stagnant life and was approaching 30). Things like "take a road trip," "visit a national park," "travel outside the country," "read at least 10 books," "take a pottery class," "30 day meditation challenge," etc. Helps me build quality of life and it's been amazing! I've done more in the past 3 years than I did in the 27 years before it

Instead of focusing on bad things that have happened to you and relishing in self pity and/or attention for the wrongs, focus on how strong and worthy you are and make it your goal to never make someone else suffer the same pain you have.

Walk outside with a podcast in your headset

Drink more water

Wear a high SPF sunscreen. Yes, every day.

Brush your teeth twice a day for the love of god it’s normal and you should be doing it already, you won’t need to chew gum everyday do stop your bad breath.

Morning 5 - 6am run for 20 minutes

I figured it’s all about boundaries. You can literally live through anything as long as you have proper boundaries.

Drink water. Drinking water helps clear your skin and has other benefits as well!

Stop being bitter and judgemental. You'd be surprised at how much you think negatively throughout the day.

"Wow her hair is a mess." "Haha that guy looks like a creep" "They're dressed nice, they must be rich....lucky them."

Or thinking someone is against you. "That lady cut right in front of me!" "That guy just glared at me?!" "That person ignored me when I said "thank you" today. The nerve!"

Just....relax. other people are not better or worse than you and they're not against you. More than likely they're just living their lives and didn't even pay you any mind.

Just smile and say good morning/afternoon/evening to strangers

just being nice to strangers or customers over all. like we get you had a bad day but there's no reason to be a dick about it 🤷‍♀️

Joining a sport, or exercising a bit in general. Helps you become more confident and healthy.

Mediate. Or just sit quietly for a couple minutes. It helps your brain calm down and helps you sleep

Volunteer in their community!

This entire thread is r/LifeProTips

Make your bed everyday. It’s the first thing you can do and accomplish, and it’s always nice going into an already made bed at the end of the day.

Eat Ass

making sure you brush your teeth. a lot of health is related to your teeth

Uninstall the reddit app. Or better yet, don't let your phone into the bedroom. It can charge just fine in the living room.

Wake up earlier

This post is r/getmotivated material

Stop hating or pitying yourself.

20 pushups or situps every 2 to 3 hours.

Smile and help others as much as you can! It’s definitely helped me overcome depression and I make friends along the way. So if the depression is too much they know and can help!

Expenses = Earnings - savings

Quit fishing for likes on social media. And nobody likes to see the sob stories from the same person every day.

Drink more water, make eye contact, smile at people even if you don’t know them, create less waste, and always focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Fast

Two chicks at the same time

Be positive and look for the good in everything. Even the worst occurrences in life open windows of opportunity. The saying "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it" is 100% true.

Smile more. Even if you have nothing to smile about. Research has shown that people who smile (even for no reason) are calmer and more positive, and overall happier.

Every morning, I make my bed. Doesn't matter if I'm running late or not. Coming home from work to a neat bed is quite satisfying.

Make your bed in the morning. I saw a video about making your bed and how after that one small thing, it helps you accomplish the rest of your tasks through the day. I have so far been doing it for a couple years now and it truly works. It puts you in the right mindset every day. Plus who doesent like coming home and crawling into a made bed?

My hands are sore but my mind is happy, work on your lawn and keep yourself hydratated

GOAL ORIENTED DISCIPLINE

Give yourself direction. Know where you want to get to and what you need to do to get there.

​

People often get caught up in their current life they forget to look at the bigger picture and realise what they want.

Get a full nights sleep. I don't know anything about it (thanks Reddit) but my wife tells me it's great!

not getting angry at everything that can possibly make them angry

Not be such a dick all the time. So simple.

Make your bed every morning, first thing.

Depends what you are trying to better, but self confidence and appearance to the world? Whiten your teeth. Spend the $30 to $50 bucks on a good product, go home and follow the instructions. Your teeth are one of the first things people see when they speak with you, and even if your teeth look like Jaws, if they are white, it says you care about how you appear to the world and at work. Just do it!

Clean your room. Transforming chaos to order can have a calming effect on the mind and leaves you with a sense of accomplishment which can lend to confidence for other tasks in your day :)

Becoming mormon.

Ignore politics for awhile. I’m not saying don’t vote and am definitely not against civic engagement. But politics has gotten so toxic that taking a break from political news would improve a lot of people’s well being.

Meditate. Sounds cheesy, but calming your mind for just a few minutes a day helps a ton.

Stop saying you'll do the thing 'tomorrow' and just do it today instead of watching half a season of whatever the fuck on Netflix. Yes, you're groaning internally just reading this, but you know I'm right. Be your harshest critic and do the thing.

Subscribe to PewDiePie

Someone you hangout with frequently isn't a healthy influence? Cut ties. This is especially important if you're recovering from something and can't be around unhealthy people; there's a good chance the people you're around will influence your life negatively. This also goes for perpetually negative people in general and so many other scenarios

Ah man. Jerking off is always so much better

Meditate 10 minutes a day

It might seem weird, but if you're struggling with finding motivation or feel overwhelmed, clean your room. For me, I've found that cleaning your living space can help clear your head and oddly enough it improves my overall mood. It's almost like the cleanliness of your living area is a direct reflection of your mental state, and vice versa.

Last year, my ex really struggled with finding motivation to do anything with her life, and her bedroom was always a mess. Like, couldn't see the floor kinda mess. I offered her the above tip, and a few months later she told me how much it helped get her life back in order. It sounds crazy, but this actually helps!

Smile.

Mushrooms

Find your daily calorie limit, whether it be for weight loss, or maintenance, and stick to it! It has completely changed my life

Get hug

Make your favourite lemonade. Takes about an afternoon to do and it will put a smile on your face when you drink a glass of it for lunch.

Also stop drinking other sweet stuff.

Be born to an upper income family.

Three things that changed my life: meditation, exercise and fasting.

Find someone who motivates you and makes you feel like you can and will succeed in whatever you do. Then listen to that person on youtube or whatever every single morning.

Mine is Gary Vaynerchuk. I listen to 15 -60 minutes of him, and no matter what he says I feel ready to take on the world afterward.

Do some sort of daily exercise routine. Even if it’s only going for a short 15 minute walk/jog. Taking time for yourself everyday helps a lot!

I had never exercised regularly up until last summer and it made such a huge difference in how I felt on the daily. If I was having a super rough day emotionally my 15 minute run helped tremendously.

Get a new wardrobe. It doesn't have to be spendy, I got like 10 shirts and 5 pairs of pants at the local Ross for under $100. You dont have to throw out the old, but a some freshness can spruce up your look and boost your confidence so much.

Drink water in the morning before taking anything else.

If you're a procrastinator, try writing down your To-Do list on a board or a piece of paper and start crossing off each item when done. Procrastination was driving me crazy at my job because I had so many things to do and to remember that my brain rejected everything and i had trouble focusing in barely anything. I started writing down stuff on post-its and it really worked. Another tip that helped was playing podcasts while working on important things, it somehow helps me stay in my own bubble and be more effective.

Moisturize

Work towards eliminating procrastination. Do whatever it takes to do this. For me, I realize I put things off because "I have time" until time sneaks up and I have to rush to accomplish tasks. You'll find your system that works for you.

• I keep a to-do list handy on my phone. I use Asana because it's easy to use, has a clean, modern interface, and I can access it from the web browser if I need to.

• As soon as I think of what needs to be done I begin to work on it. If I don't do this I will push it back over and over until I forget to do it.

• Don't lose your momentum! Momentum is a success multiplier! It gets easier to accomplish goals as you keep going. This doesn't mean go go go as fast as you can. You also must rest.

• Last, do not compare yourself or your progress to others. You have your own story, your own pace. You will have your own results. The key is not quitting and stay positive. Comparison is the fastest sure way to kill your: - Motivation - Dreams - Goals - Plans - Progress - Momentum

These are easy things that I have expanded on in further detail. I hope it helps someone!

Simply drink water, and start pushing yourself to do the things you want to, there is always a way. Life is short live up to who you wana be :)

Drink lots of plain water in the morning and skip breakfast.

Wear sunscreen lotion

My life changed when I paid off my debt. Budget. Work an extra job. Limit yourself. Get it off of your back!

Respect others beliefs and ideas.

Marie Kondo, sparking joy. It's certainly not simple starting but afterwards keeping things minimal is so straight forward. Does it spark joy? No? Thank it and bin it.

If you like animals/ have room in the budget, get a dog. They are a great motivator to get out and go for a walk. Also, having a puppy can be a great excuse to leave social situations early!

Drink more water.

Have a bed time routine. Have a bath, cleanse your face, brush your teeth, lay out your next day's outfit, read a book, drink some tea, dim the lights, turn off your electronics or whatever it is that suits you.

It teaches your brain that it's time for bed and helps clear the constant chatter in your mind. It'll also help you fall asleep much quicker and sleep better.

Learn as much as you can. Whatever your specialism.

30 minutes of cardio every day.

Cook your own food. Serve it on a nice looking dish. I bought a dish I thought was pretty and use it for most of my meals.

Limit your alcohol consumption. I still like to have an occasional drink or two- but it’s made a huge difference in sleep, weight loss and overall attitude.

Say 'it is what it is' about more stuff every day. If you're the sort of person who stresses over little things it can change your attitude and stress levels immensely.

Smoke DMT.

Breathe consciously

Use psychedelics to soul search such as lsd and shrooms and when you're ready to kill your ego smoke some dmt and see the afterlife.

Get into a solid routine. Just something to give your life purpose.

Acknowledge that happiness is not Discovered - it is Created. Acknowledge that whomever is doing whatever it is that makes you Very Angry there is a very real possibility that they have no idea. Accept that we (you included) are all in fact flawed. Having flaws is in and of itself not a flaw - the error most of us routinely make is willfully ignoring our own while being more than willing to criticize others for theirs. Most importantly: realize that the only thing you will Ever be a victim of is your inability to adapt to your circumstance.

Alternatively: Pretend 'Till the End.

End it

Exercise, especially with short term and long term goals. Anyone can start at anytime, wether it be just cardio or weight lifting. I’d suggest to at least have a little light weight training too, you’d be surprised how much better you feel everyday.

stop smoking weed all day

Educate themselves. Education nowadays is basically free. Education can never be taken apart from you and makes you more valuable every time you learn something new. If you're economically struggling (like I see a lot of people here are, including myself) start your way up to wealth by educating yourself and then just think how you can add value to some other people's life /organization/project/company and charge for it. Trust me, after completing some free courses from Google and The Gymnasium I was able to offer my skills and knowledge and make myself 185$ in additional income in the past month. You may think it's not a lot, but it is if you're living in a country like Venezuela. Thanks for reading :)

Using your bike instead of a car is climate changing

Make a resume and keep it updated. This is to teens and adults. It helped me (M15) find and get a job so much easier.

Drink more water.

Exercise, especially with short term and long term goals. Anyone can start at anytime, wether it be just cardio or weight lifting. I’d suggest to at least have a little light weight training too, you’d be surprised how much better you feel everyday.

Don’t procrastinate

Stretch every morning and every night

I've gotten on top of budgeting with the help of the podcast "how to money" and the app "Monefy". Still, the biggest step would be a better-paid job

Repost apparently

[deleted]

Washing your penis, for one. You really haven't been on youtube yet, have you?

Drink water!!

Also, r/waterniggas

If you need two keys to get into your house, door know and dead bolt, make sure your keys are pointed the same way. This helps avoid the awkward keys in your mouth move when your other hand is full of groceries.

Exercise. You don't have to sprint miles every day, even just walking a bit makes a huge difference. Find a sport you like. It'll make you more productive and improve your quality of life tremendously.

Your basic "health FOR wellness" approach. Choose any 2 or 3 of these that you're not doing and stick with it for a month. I guarantee you feel better.

  • Sleep more hours (and more regularly). I bet 40% of your bad mood is related to chronic sleep loss. It messes with your hormones, and can cause weight gain, skin problems, poor social connections, emotional instability, difficulties with almost every facet of your life, etc.
  • Eat less. If you're eating because it's tasty, and not because you're hungry, then save the leftovers for later when you're actually hungry. Try the "1 plate" rule (maybe even use a smaller plate!), never going back for second helpings.
  • Eat healthier. Literally just add vegetables to your diet at first, don't bother cutting bad foods, just eat more veggies like zucchini, carrots, yellow squash, anything (even starchy veggies is better than no veggies!). I love my meat, but I gotta say that this recipe may be the most delicious chili I have ever had and it's all veggies and really cheap (do the blending part, it makes it 5 times better). The more veggies you add, it's possible that it will be easier for you to cut less healthy food like hot dogs or takeout by just naturally not being hungry for them.
  • Minimum exercise of 20-30 minutes walking, at 3-to-4 mph, daily (the speed you'd walk if you really need to pee and the bathroom is a few blocks away; the speed that makes it difficult but not impossible to carry on a conversation). Adding a full body workout 2-3 times a week is really good, too, but that isn't as simple as "just go walking at a brisk pace for 30 minutes" so I won't dive into that mess. Listen to an audiobook while you do this and you'll find it's not hard at all.
  • Hydrate. Even if you're not that thirsty, try having a half cup of water or a small cup of unsweetened tea. Always have a glass of water (or other liquid) with a meal. It will help you eat less, and also help with digestion.
  • No more caffeine after you've been awake for 4 hours. Period. Very simple rule. Just don't. No matter how tired you are. Caffeine isn't evil, but it takes a long time for your body to get rid of it, and that not only means difficulty sleeping but also difficulty staying asleep. It also messes with your hunger, so it might be harder for you to eat when you should be eating.
  • Take a breather. Every 2-4 hours, try to put the phone down, shut off the screen, put the schedule down, stop planning, don't play a game, don't talk to someone, don't listen to music, don't browse Reddit. Don't do anything at all and just take a moment to let your brain "cool off". If your mind wanders, that's okay, just don't "actively think" about things. 5 minutes should do it once you're practiced, but 10 or 15 minutes might be more appropriate to start. If you need some earplugs or earmuffs to block noise, then get some.

100 pushups per day.

Time management. Figuring when to do something so you have more to do something.

Win the lottery!

Smile. Smiling has been proven to release the hormone responsible for happiness.

And since you also smile when you're happy, you get a full circle of happiness !

Pirate everything until you can afford to buy it

Start lifting. i started 2 years ago and seeing your body transform on a monthly basis and seeing muscles you didnt even know you had has got to be one of the best feelings known to man.

Jerk off or bang someone at least every other day

Buy a half gallon jug of water and bring it with you anywhere you go, or leave it in your car. Even leaving it by your bed works too. Drink as often as you can. When you first start it’s gonna be a little hard to pick up the habit. (especially if you’re the type of person who isn’t into drinking water). Over time and consistency you’ll be gulping water on the regular.

Not be on fire.

Go to bed with a 9 to 10 hour gap before your next day. Then you can have 8 hours of sleep. 1 hour to get ready and have a balanced breakfast, and then another hour to get to wherever you gotta be for the day.

Change their username

Mindfulness meditation

Getting more sleep at night!

Use cannabis and cbd

Communicate adequately with those you love.

Exercise, drink more water, and don’t let other people’s opinions affect your own.

Get enough sleep and learn proper sleep patterns and habits. So many people are sleep deprived and they don't even know it.

Ignore the little things

Masturbating/self fornacate , very good for a gentleman’s prostate .

Create a list of positive affirmations. Cultivate the daily habit of repeating them every day.

Be grateful.

Find something to be thankful for in every situation, especially the bad situations.

Sleeping. People wake up and go to the gym? That’s the best way to get fucked sleep. Go to the gym at night and go to bed tired as fuck and you fall asleep instantly.

Drink more water.

Breathing.

Remove Reddit from your phone.

Have better proofreading.

Quit drinking alcohol

Don't cuss as much.

Start doing yoga.

Breathe better.

Best advice for everyone is to do your job as soon as you can. If you have homework, do it right away. If you have to shover, do it right away. If you have to make your room do it. You have to do all those things anyways, so it is better to do them sooner than later because you will enjoy your free time much more, and you will have much more time for everything. This can be litteraly life changing. After a while you will just get less lazy, believe me.

Stop drinking sugary beverages

Fuck fuck you

Dress well. Your outfit doesn't have to be expensive or anything but you always want to look presentable. Don't wear dirty clothes or something that obviously doesn't fit. It will often determine people's first impression of you.

Smoke weed...

Make a list of things to do in your day. If you have long term goals, break them down into fragments and organize them into things to do everyday or every other day.

It can help you manage your time better

Read for leisure.

Wipe front to back. No shit gets on your balls.

Saying Please and Thank with at least implied sincerity will open a lot of doors and gets things done a lot quicker than being demanding or a dick in the vast majority of cases.

Never lie, as long as you always do the right thing and arent a sketchy person there is no reason to lie.

Go to bed before 10:30pm. I have been doing this for this whole semester and I have been more energetic and well-rested. This also comes with time management, though. (Which isn’t that hard, just takes dedication.)

Eat good, and healthy! It is very possible to eat food 10x as delicious as fast food, which has been made from proper ingredients, it is also 20x more healthy, a healthy life leads to a happy life, 100%

Drink more water.

Drink more water, your body and mind love it

Delete their Facebook. It’s just toxic competition with people you’re “friends” with.

Not to live

be nice to everyone.

Use a hotdog for a touch screen stylist.

Quit social media

Drink water. Just water.

Sleep well. Don't masturbate

be the best person you can possibly be and then some.

Die

quit social media.

​

​

best thing I have ever done in my whole life

Clean your room

Talk to people and make eye contact. People will like you alot more and you can network

slow down! so many people are constantly and unnecessarily rushing themselves.

Get contented. :)

To do nothing lol.

Work. Out.

Wake up earlier, de activate Facebook, eat healthier, read books, budget, be a better person.

Get a job they LOVE

Give up sugar and things that are filled with sugar. It will be amazing how much better you'll feel.

​

OK. This is really fucking hard to do. Sugar is so addicting. When I went cold turkey, it was awful. The withdrawals were terrible. I'd go to the cupboard and just eat carbs. After about a week, it started to become easier. Now, I barely miss it, and will occasionally eat a dessert here or there. It's easily the best thing I've done for my health.

Maybe this is a bigger one, but running. If you run 2 or 3 times a week just at at an easy pace, it will decrease your risk of cardiac problems and increase your focus, memory, lifespan and physical ability.

Clean the clutter.

Work hard and play even harder.

Delete Tinder

Meditate

Jack off twice a day

Fake it till you make it, and I'm being serious. The older I get the more I realize most people are in their current positions because people believed them when they said they could do it.

Metta Meditation

Work out.

Actively work on building and strengthening your relationships with friends and family. If you find it hectic to stay in touch because of busy schedules have a standing reservation for lunch once a week or once every other week that has flexibility to cancel.

Stretch every day.

I wish I could stop eating so much crap. I work out so much and run and all that. But I off set it with junk food man. When I'm sad, lonely, bored, drunk, and tired. I just eat man. I can't stop myself. I feel like a crack head. If I try to eat a salad, even if it's a huge ass bowl... and I'm talking about huge. It's not filling me up. But if I eat a bag of chips. Like a small travel sized bag of chips. I won't be hungry. I'm not obese, but certainly chunky. And if I could just stop eating crap all the time. I think I would be so much happier.

Not f**k up

Smile at people you know or you interact with. You may never know when you save a person’s life just by showing positive emotions towards them

Stop participating in the social media political hate machine.

Exercise atleast 3 times a week preferably the gym or just a small short jog....helps to improve your immune system and keeps your body long and healthy. Exercise really helps relieve stress.....also it builds motivation and a routine!!!

Personal hygiene 🙃

Basic hygiene.

I used to skip on this because my depression made it hard to get out of bed and do these things but trust me, forcing yourself to brush your hair/teeth, wash your face, and shower every day really makes a difference in your mood and appearance. Never skip out on it.

Wash your genitals

Meditate

Clean their room

Drink water

Have a to do list that includes every single thing you need to do.

Do them.

When you finally catch up, you'll understand what true relaxation is because you won't have a litany of things hanging over your head that you need to get done.

You'll also learn that responsibility may be a burden, but fulfilling them is rewarding.

Not forgetting to bring a towel. As my good friend Towely says, towel safety is important.

Get all the brown.

Get out and walk every day. The fresh air and mild exercise does wonders for your mood.

Learn to fight. The piece of mind you get for trusting yourself. Knowing that you know what to do if something were to happen. I had bad anxiety and thanks to BJJ I don’t anymore.

Be diverse as possible. In regards to furthering their work and hobbies. So they can always have a plan B,C,D,etc

Stop watching CNN.

Smile more often, to other people and to yourself

Find a daily way to help the world. I know, it sounds like a very obvious thing that seems like it can’t be achieved, but you really can make a difference. Big or small.

Small changes: - Bring your own fabric grocery bags - Cut the rings all open for soda can holders, including the giant circle you create after cutting them all (don’t want to strangle ocean critters) - Shop local produce if you can (even better if organic!) - Tell someone they’re doing a good job - Know where their food comes from - If they’re crafty, reuse containers for food or items and use it to make crafts with your kids or for yourself. It’s crazy what you can make out of recycled material. Google!!! - Turn off the water when brushing your teeth

Big changes:

  • Become vegan/vegetarian. I became vegetarian. I’ve been a life long animal lover but never really cared about my impact on the environment, until I saw how much the meat industry contributes to global warming. Plus... I watched “Earthlings”... my heart and stomach can’t imagine eating meat. I grew up and still live in cow-country Montana. Our neighbors raise black angus, and I know they’re taken care of better than factories that mass kill and boil, beat, and cut their necks and let them bleed to death with their organs flopping out. But I still can’t bring myself to eating meat. Perhaps this is a choice you decide to make

  • Purchase items that reduce plastic use

We buy organic fruit to make juice instead of buy plastic containers of it. You can get a great little device where you just twist the half of the orange/grapefruit/lemon and receive juice at the bottom. Super easy. You can get reusable plastic produce bags too that are the best!!

  • Try to reduce your online shopping

The transport to get that tiny amazon prime thing you need to your house takes up a lot more resources than if it’s available at a store in town where you can bulk buy all the things you need at once, even if it means waiting a few more days to get it until you go shopping. Totally understandable though not everything you need is available to buy in person. Just if you can do it!

REALLY big changes:

  • We have an outdoor wood stove that we throw all cardboard, food leftovers, scraps, used paper towels, etc. to heat the house. We live out in the country so obviously this isn’t possible for an apartment or a suburb. But if it’s possible... it is AMAZING for your heating bill, and you aren’t throwing away resources that could heat your house. You don’t have all the guilt of garbage you have

I know it’s easy to say “change the world”, but there truly are ways that collectively we can be the best resident of Earth we can be. :)

A famous quote says that you should have three hobbies in your life:

  • one that makes you money
  • one that keeps you healthy
  • one that gives you pure joy

This one is easy: stay off of Twitter

Drink plenty of water

Run 2-3 times a week, even if it's 15 minutes.

Stopped looking into my phone while walking. Neck and back feel much better now.

Wake up earlier.

Buy a heated blanket.

Exercise 10-30 minutes a day. I started walking my dog as soon as I get home from work every day. We started at just half a mile and about a month later we just upped our goal to 2 miles a day. We are both getting more fit and I've noticed a definite change in my mental health and she seems to be more happy and energetic. I hope to start in on yoga soon :)

Create a morning routine. (I.e. mine is: brush teeth, drink water, meditate, exercise, "game plan" aka create a schedule for my day based on priorities). I do all this in the first 30 min of every day and it has changed my life. Also, create a nightly routine - mine is simply to read for 20 min before bed.

"You've got what it takes but it will take everything you've got"

So I am guessing nothing "simple" :-)

Going to bed early and waking up early. This little change really made a difference in my life.

Learn another language. It only takes an hour of serious study a night for a year or two. Being bilingual greatly increases people's respect for you and, atleast in the USA, is treated as a hallmark of intelligence.

Create a morning routine. (I.e. mine is: brush teeth, drink water, meditate, exercise, "game plan" aka create a schedule for my day based on priorities). I do all this in the first 30 min of every day and it has changed my life. Also, create a nightly routine - mine is simply to read for 20 min before bed.

Die

Make your bed. Every morning. No. I'm not explaining it. Just shut up and try it for two weeks. You'll see.

Then do the same thing with meditation. Just shut up. Download Headspace for free. 10 minutes a day. Two weeks. You'll see.

Make money

Quit social media. Deleted all my accounts about a year ago and HOLY HELL do I have a better attitude about people and life in general

Eat

Set a time limit for the Reddit app

Lose the game....

Not smoke.

Make your bed in the morning.

This may not work for everyone, but it's simple enough that it doesn't hurt to try. Start small and just smile more. I was in a depressive funk for several years. Medication didn't help (it weirdly just made me sweat more). Therapy didn't help. Nothing really helped until I decided I was just sick of living that way and needed to find a way to snap out of it on my own. I couldn't force myself to go out and be social and active, so I decided to start small and force myself to smile more. I noticed that I started feeling more positive in general and relatively quickly didn't feel depressed anymore. There is some truth to the "fake it until you make it" thing people say about smiling. Somehow, it can make you feel happier - at least it did for me.

Once I started feeling happier and more positive, my life got markedly better as a result. I'm much happier now and that helped me to find the will to change the things in my life that were stressing me out the most. Again, this worked for me but may or may not work for you. I hope it does, though.

it all starts by cleaning your room. if you have a clean room, your mind becomes clearer and it’s easier to think.

Talk to people

Take time for yourself

If you feel bored or lonely find an interesting community to relate. Videogame communities are the fastest way how to relate to a community of same interests.

Not to sound dramatic, but if I could rewind time, I would tell my younger self to believe in himself and to not over complicate things. But presently, you should never regret decisions and just learn from them.(especially if they're wrong ones)

Delete the Reddit app off your phone.

get born rich

Subscribe to pewdiepie

watch porn, a lot

Get your heart rate up every hour if you can manage. Just a little light exercises. Something aerobic, drink water, eat fruit and keep your space clean.

Run

Schedule yourself time to do relaxing things. Prioritize it. You get through the stressful things easier when you have breaks planned into your schedule. You are also less likely to procrastinate on getting stuff done with the light at the end of the tunnel. It's an easy way to start taking care of your mental health.

Drink water, drop the sodas.

Posture.

Focus on others at least as much as you focus on yourself. Life is not about you, or me or any other individual. The world opens up when you see yourself as part of it rather than the center of it.

Not listen to Ariana Grande

Do everything you can to take care of your mental health!!!! Without doing that, you set yourself up for not being able to do your best at everything else in life. From experience! Love you all & wish you the best.

Following a motto of “trust but verify”

Make your bed in the morning.

Go for a 20-30 minute walk every day. Aerobic exercise is so important.

Meditate, simple, easy, and extremely beneficial to overall wellbeing

Sleeping pills

Be happy.

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen.”

Don't make promises you can't keep. If you're not sure, be honest about it. "I'll try to go on a hike next Saturday" instead of "Dude I'll be there!"

Get a healthy night's sleep. This is probably a repeat comment.

Clean your room. Coming home after a tiring day to a clean room is one of the best things there is.

Cut down or completely soda. I lost some weight pretty easily.

smoke DMT

Buy a kitchen scale & cook for yourself.

It's cheaper and healthier as portion control becomes much easier.

Don't step on a bear trap to impress your date. It's not as a good idea as it seems.

Don’t get married and reproduce.

uninstall league of legends

not die

Pray or meditate

Save money and love yourself

Be in shape. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, if you love your job. If you can’t tie your shoes in your 40s without wanting to die your life is shit.

Also you will die in your 50s or 60s if you’re obese. There’s almost no old fat people.

Eat healthier. I Act on the stage and usually do alot of dancing. But it was hard because the food I ate wasnt exactly healthy for me. So I started eating healthier foods and really got me both more into shape and healthier. Now I act better than I did before

Drink more water. I’ve gone from demon to angel and all it took was a couple of swigs of good ol’ H2O

Meditate

Excersise, learn to code, have safe sex.

Drink more water, it'll make you feel so much better

  • read - cheapest and most effective way to enhance ones life
  • dynamic stretches (not like old school static stretching as theres no evidence for it while there is for dynamic movement and stretching)
  • workout
  • reflect on your day/ meditate
  • help someone out, with anything.
  • find something you believe in strongly and read an opposing view
  • stare up at the stars at night and realize how your life could be several times worse
  • understand that its not the situation but your reaction to the situation that is setting you back.
  • listen to listen, not to reply
  • relax. Just take a few times during the day to breahe in and out 4 times a bit slowly. Deep breathes.

Brush their theeth because sometimes you stink but that’s ok :)

Sleep better. You’ll have more energy and it will be easier to stay positive

The next right thing

Breathe. Set aside a few short periods (1-3 mins) a day to just take some deep breaths. You should notice lowered stress/anxiety levels as well as more energy!

Smile more.

Brush their teeth and floss twice a day. Pass on that habit to your children, if you have any, as soon as they can pick up a toothbrush.

As someone who has spent way too much on my teeth with a few missing and a couple heading that way, I can't stress it enough.

Driving

Learn how to admit when you're wrong, accept feedback without being defensive, and how to give a true apology (I'm sorry for my actions, I recognize the harm they caused, I will change my behaviour in x/y/z way in the future."

To dos

Tell yourself it’s a beautiful day everyday when you wake up. Even if it’s not it gives you a positive outlook on the rest of the day.

Inherit millions of dollars

Trim your eyebrows.

Love.

Drugs

Clean your room

Get a planner and fill it out daily. It turned me around. My life went from chaotic to me not only organizing the major events of my day/week/month/year to organizing every other chaotic aspect of my life from my room to to even my personal hygiene.

I recommend meditation, it helps calm the mind. In this day and age where we're all speeding around so fast, sometimes a little clarity and roses to smell are good for us.

Drink water every day!

Exercise and stretch

Let haters hate themselves. You can be polite, but limit your time with them especially family members.

Be curious and ask questions even when the topic is not interesting to you.

Commit

Is it just me or does this question make it to front page every week?

Daily vitamins! Some of them can really change your life.

-Stop drinking sodas (Pepsi, Coke and over-sugared drinks) -10-30 minute home exercise routines -Help people for the sake of it, not expecting a reward of some sort.

Do not hold regrets, grudge, rancor... I guess that's not that simple, but...

Make your bed in the morning.

It helps you feel like you’ve accomplished things and as the days go on and the weeks go on you’ll notice that it’s easier to finish tasks.

I always make my bed, it makes my day start off well and I come back to a nice made bed.

Proper nutrition, sleep, and meditation.

Spend a day dedicated to meal prep healthy foods, go to sleep 8 hours before your alarm is set. Probably the easiest of all is to find 5 minutes in your day for some meditation

Make your bed in the morning, it’s your first success of the day

Take a walk around your block in the evening. It doesn't have to be fast. It doesn't have to be far. It doesn't have to be long. Just a walk around the block.

Show genuine respect, people appreciate respect and tend to give back in return. Most importantly respect yourself, and don’t let anybody disrespect you.

Wear seatbelt and don't speed.

This is more health related but drinking less soda can make people feel way better on a day to day basis.

I always drank lots of soda through highschool, and even though I did a ton of sports I never felt like an athletic person.

Now I've moved out of my parents house and I used it as an excuse to better myself a lot and I decided to cut out almost all soda and replace it with more water, and I feel wat better than I ever did.

I lost a lot of my soda gut and I feel more energetic and just good overall.

Cut the soda 10/10 would recommend.

stop using facebook

To be honest... Communicate. Dropping hints and or just ignoring the problem is not going to help. There are so many problems that could be solved just with talking things out in a constructive manner.

  1. Dont hold a grudge. Let things go. There are always two sides to a story so if someone did you wrong reflect and have an open conversation 2.some people might seem more luckier than you and have a better life etc... just work hard and push ahead. Set small mini goals and step by step you will make it 3.its ok to be selfish every now and them just dont let it get to your head

Probably my top 3

Floss

[deleted]

I agree that is good, but it's not a simple thing. Learning a language is very complex, plus language is really a social activity. you can only get the basics when teaching yourself.

Start a side business doing something you always wanted to do. Better than hanging out at bars.

Organize all of their plans and chores, so you don't end up in a jumbled mess of missed deadlines, late meetings and unfinished work.

I’m a big believer in the little things so hold the door open for someone tell the barista who served you that morning to have a good day or any other little gesture that takes no time at all but just might make someone else’s day.

Get a doggo

Drink water

Decent amount of exercise can go a long way, just overal feel more relaxed and have more energy.

If you feel like shit, don't push it into the garbage. Accept it and work on it with other people instead of trying to deal with everything alone. Asking for help is OK

Start exercising, even if just once a week for 10 minutes. Consistency is king!

I try not to get overly irritated when things don't go my way. There is no life that anyone has ever lived in which they never had a single problem. On top of that, solving problems is one of the things that brings satisfaction into our lives.

If something doesn't go my way I try not to huff and puff about it. Instead I say internally to myself, what's the best thing I can do in this situation? That is much more productive than throwing a fit.

Download a calorie counting app. They're so easy to use these days (you can even scan barcodes) and can help you to improve your diet massively.

I find reading helpful. I'm not great with grammar but I have a decently large vocabulary because I like to read.

Get a study buddy

Get off Reddit and do what you are supposed to be doing

Don't drink soda. Drink water.

Exercise

Lose weight. Or stay slim. Simple, but not easy.

Invest early!!!!!

Saying please and thank you, also add in a “Have a good day” after saying thanks. Seriously, I’ve gotten discounts, free stuff, been able to skip lines, and in general had people be super nice to me. At the place I go to eat at normally the staff are super nice to me and often times have my food ready when I get there. In general just being polite is super good for everyone involved.

Be open with people you need closure with. Be honest with yourself and take ownership.

Be nice to other people.

Drink more water or going to bed early

Not repost worrying about karma on reddit

Care less. I smoke pot to help with that.

Meal prep. Saves you a decent chunk of change on a weekly basis, plus (if done right) it can have a huge impact on your health. Personally I also find that spending a portion of my Sunday evening prepping for the upcoming week helps me get off on the right foot and have a more successful work week.

Stop wasting time on reddit

Eat real food and not food products

Stand on one leg when brushing teeth. It’ll get your ankles stronger

Drink water, lots of it.

Travel

80/20

Do the right thing 80%of the time and reward yourself 20%of the time.

Right thing: stretch, exercise, drink plenty of water, read at night, eat healthy, meditate..

Reward: sweets, lay on the couch and watch tv, be lazy.

When you earn a reward it makes it much more, well rewarding. As you progress you may find yourself wanting more good and less bad and eventually turn the right thing into the reward.

Source: Dental Lab Tech

Wash your face every day! Once when you get up and once before bed. It makes a world of difference

Literally just smiling more.

It's a little weird at first but after you get used to it it gets contagious and you notice more people smiling near you.

Writing in a journal. It reduces stress. It makes you feel heard without having to really talk to someone, and if you do want to talk to someone, it gives you a chance to gather your thoughts and communicate them properly. It's important to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings before they build up. I started writing again after becoming a mom and it has kept me sane.

move their funds from a traditional savings account to a high interest savings account. earnings 2.25% instead of 0.02% is a huge difference.

Stop hating. If you hate anyone, just stop. I know it sounds hard but think about it. Who feels YOUR hate? Only you, really. Is it worth it? I don't think so. Let go of hate and you'll actually feel better.

Be true to yourself

Go to the gym

Buy toilet paper made from recycled paper. If everyone were to make the switch, we'd save hundreds of millions of trees a year. It's very easy to switch! I've added the brands to buy toilet paper from below, with a link.

Leading the scoreboard are six products — Green Forest, 365 Everyday Value 100% Recycled, Earth First, Natural Value, Seventh Generation and Trader Joe's Bath Tissue — that are made entirely of recycled material and use a chlorine-free bleaching process that does less harm to the environment than other methods.

https://www.ecowatch.com/eco-toilet-paper-2631505027.html

Limit the amount of time you spend on social media. I recently deleted facebook off my phone and it's insane how much it's improved my life.

Do something regularly. It doesnt matter what it is as long as it's something that benefits you. It could be washing your face every day, or going on a walk for 5min a few times a week, or even just having a snack at a certain time at the end of your day. Just doing something on a schedule is super helpful to your mental state.

Read a good book

Keep a journal. Just taking 10 minutes a day to write down what’s on your mind can drastically change your life. If you hold onto too many thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. it can overwhelm you and build up to the point where that built up material will manifest into something really ugly that you might not even realize came from not releasing past baggage.

Squats. Love my booty.

Drink more water!

Yoga 🧘‍♂️ . It will change your life for the better

learn to meditate

Learn to properly tie their shoes. The difference between a strong and weak knot is minor, but makes a world of difference.

Brush your teeth twice a day

Stop supporting chelsea

Take a little time for self love. I don't mean masturbation, but I do mean taking time for yourself and giving yourself something good every day, even if it's something as simple as giving yourself permission to take a break.

Get a dog

Take an improv class

Pick up a hobby.

Go to the gym.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP!

Breathe properly. Go for short walks. Religiously. It will be one long walks.

Exercise. It’s easy to write it off with “not having time” , but most people waste hours a day watching tv. I always feel way better and have more energy than if I don’t go

Lately when I see someone out jogging I give them a mental peptalk - I think something like: "Wooh yeah!! You're doing awesome!"

It's making me feel a bit softer, and that's a big deal for me.

Especially if you work with the public- smile and greet every customer/person you see as if you're seeing your dearest friend for the first time in months.

If someone is having a bad day, just a smile and genuinely warm friendly greeting can change their entire mood.

"Hello! How are you?!" Goes a long way.

Own up to your mistakes. It takes so much less energy to admit fault than it does to shift the blame. Those around you will also respect you more.

Make your bed

A proper haircut. Personally I feel more confident when I have a proper haircut

Literally make your bed. Its easy and can keep you inspired enough to finish other tasks

Someone needs to post all the top rated suggestions in one comment...

Smile!

i stopped stressing about things i can’t control and only worrying about things i can change

Learn to sew. Seriously. There are stitches that are actually pretty easy to do once you've practiced a bit and they will change your life. Invisible stitches and backstitches have saved my clothes multiple times over from being thrown away and has saved me money from having to buy new ones.

Learn to sew. Man or woman or whatever, everyone should learn how.

Make your bed in the morning. I listened to US Navy Admiral William McRaven's commencement speech several years ago about making your bed and it changed my life. It may sound silly but it got me out of a depressed funk. It's now the first thing I always do before I even brush my teeth. Btw, Admiral McRaven oversaw the raid on Bin Ladin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sK3wJAxGfs

Clean your fucking living area every sunday if you dont usually

Stop caring what other people think. Just, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you no longer care what others think of you. Remember that those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. Be yourself and you'll be a lot happier in life

Make sleep a priority. Don't forego real real responsibilities. But make getting sleep as close as you can to eight a real priority. Before diet but not by much, the benefits from rest can not be understated.

Don’t overwork yourself. Never. Life is too short to be abusing your time and health, both physically and mentally. You have one life. Don’t take shit from anyone. Don’t worry about materialistic things. Everything will work out. Just be chill.

Open their heart

money money much more money

Communication.

You have no idea how much easier it is to understand people when there’s actual communication. There’s legitimately some that expect you to read their mind and throw a fit if you don’t “get it” or “understand.”

Take an improv class. The skills you learn in the class are applicable in all aspects of life. Sign up, show up, life gets better and more interesting.

Give up

Vasectomy

Get some houseplants! There are plants that will do well in any combination of watering/light/care so you can find the perfect one/s for your space. Something green and living in your room will purify your air and make the space look more inviting. It’s also a really good feeling when something thrives under your care (even if it’s just a peace lily)!

Vitamins especially if you can't eat decent meals all the time. It's not a substitute to eating healthy by any means but hey, keep your health up as much as you can

Stop drinking.

Retire

start a garden, start by composting any kind of plant derived waste product in a trash bin or box. used coffee grounds, filters, shredded paper, vegetable, fruit, eggshells, grass clippings, leaf litter, ect. that should take about a month to a year. just keep adding to the pile and turn it regularly. You can sequester a lot of carbon and create rich soil that you can grow whatever you want in.

I hear meditation helps.

if something seems wrong it usally is and freaking slow down pay attention to orhers they might be hurting

If you have a big backyard, go and read a book outside Enjoy the sun and fresh air

Try to be positive instead of negative. Seriously, I am a very negative person and if I actively try to be less negative, I' generally am much happier in all aspects of life. This may not be so simple though....

Drink nothing but water.

For me, the best thing I did for myself was get a dog. It might not be for everyone, but I think in general Life’s a lot easier to handle when you know there’s something waiting for you at home

Take care of their teeth.

Proper hygiene everyday!

Pay close attention to your words and don’t lie.

Don’t waste your money on trendy things that will either die off or ruin your life down the road. I work at a convenience store and I can’t tell you how many young people I see throwing away $50+ a week to get a nic high or drunk, and then complain about being broke to all their friends and blaming other people and institutions for their problems.

Make a schedule

Already been said but ill say it again, sleep. Get as much sleep as you can it makes a world of difference.

More sleep!

The most simple thing anyone can do to have a better life is to always be nice. Tip well. Treat people how you want to be treated. Always. Even when people are rude. Learn to respond rather than react. Just be nice.

Make your bed in the morning, drink a lot of water, stop tensing your shoulders.

Eat at home more than fast food.

Do 15 minutes of cleaning as soon as I get home from work everyday.

Purchase healthier foods.

Make your bed every morning before you leave for work, you’ll start your day with a small accomplished task

Smoke some fine grade cannabis flower.

Works every time.

Practice mindfulness. Like, just pay attention to your breathing and yourself in the moment.

Make your bed every morning. I’m still amazed how this one little activity gives me a sense of control that I carry with me throughout the rest of my day.

playing games, there fun, its a hobby and you can make new friends

Smile more. You'd be amazed at how bright your day and environment will become if you smile. Plus, it really can make someone else's day.

Budget

Cooking. I know most people have difficulty squeezing extra time to cook their own food. Trust me, when you invest the time and effort, you'll be able to save a lot of money with a lot of nutritional value.

Live below your means

None of these things:

Start smoking, drink a 6 pack of soda every day and at least a 6 pack of beer every night, two on the weekends, eat almost everything with gravy on it. Go to McDonalds ( et al) at least 3 times a week and have a large sized value meal, Sit in front of a TV or computer monitor at least 10-12 hours every day...

So.... pretty much anything that is the opposite of those can help.

Unhinge your jaw and relax your shoulders

Kindness goes a long way

Live!

Be nice.

Make better bait.

Early to bed early to rise

Common knowledge but very few actually implement that

Drink water, almost no one that I know just drinks enough water.

Listening to life improving audiobooks on your way to and from work

Exercise!

Even if you start off small, it will gradually lead you to doing more and more as long as you stick to it. You become healthier and more attractive overall.

Keep your mouth shut when the wife/girlfriend asks about their weight or hair.

Stay positive! Even if you don’t feel it. Start your day by telling yourself something amazing is going to happen. Then spend the day looking for it!

Realizing that not all fixes you need to do in life are easy. Some require hard work and long dedication. Wasting time looking for an easy fix is wasting time that could be spent on the needed fix.

Wake up knowing your first task will be to make your bed in the morning. Starts your day off positive, and a small sense of accomplishment will nudge you to be happier. And it’s nice to get into at the end of the day.

Wipe your arse.

Every night do some introspection about your daily life . I tell you it will change your life. For forever

Stick to it.

Not drink underage

Clean up your room.

Do/watch/read/spend time with someone/something that makes them laugh every day.

meditate

Mindful Meditation. Changed my entire life and stripped the power my emotional impulses had over me. I now meditate 3 hours a day, not because I have to, but because I genuinely want to. I would highly recommend it to anyone (completely secular meditation for those who may comment).

Ensure they get enough, and quality sleep.

In the same way that not enough sleep turns your day to shit, having great sleep makes your day awesome.

Go to the gym

Don't expect too much about people

Go to the gym. Even for 20 minutes. You in your sixties will thank you.

Listen to music. Always seems to put me in a better mindset.

There are countless opportunities to just pop on some music and continue with what you're doing (chores, reading, gaming, car ride)

I have friends and family who seem to only listen to podcasts or talk radio and to go multiple days without music.

Doesn't matter what music you like and if it's background music, I find it's even better with a genre that's new to you!

Have fun, engaging hobbies. For me, my thing is poker

House plant/s get one to help with air quality. Do some yoga and walk places. Indulge yourself with things you enjoy. Exercise a little. Don't be a Dick unless neccasry. Learn something.

Good dental hygiene. Floss, brushing your teeth, and fluoride.

Be self-aware.
I think being self-aware is one of the best qualities a person can have, especially in terms of bettering ones self.

Run. Literally just run. There's no downsides to it, pick up your own pace and distance and just run. Apart from the obvious physical benefits it gives you a place to think and reflect on a lot of stuff.

Be straight up with people.

Drink plenty of water! I carry around a 1.5 liter bottle of water with me everywhere. Even with the weird looks for carrying around a sink full of water it’s definitely worth it.

Actually get to class on time.

sigh -_-

Exercise.

Holy shit I ran for a consecutive 20 minutes for the first time in over 10 years a week ago. I've genuinely never felt so proud of myself. Always put it off cause it was hard work. I feel like my mental health as improved as a result of it too!

Remember this simple fact: "Emotional pain never killed anyone."

This is not to dismiss the hell that emotional distress is, and it's not a judgment on people who succumb to emotional stress (because we all do, and that's alright).

It's a simple fact that gives you a small amount of space to take a breath.

Sometimes a little breath is all you need to feel just a little bit less out of control. You expand that space a little bit more at a time. Eventually, you can get to a place where instead of drowning all the time, you're mostly bouncing around on the waves.

Start with 20 minutes a day that you would spend on your phone, tv etc to start a new hobby you’ve been wanting to try.

floss

I think flossing your teeth is the easiest way to better your life. There was one summer where I going through a lot, failed a summer Class for my grad program and got fired from my third job that year all in the same two weeks. During those Two weeks, I went to the dentist only to be told that I needed like 2 root canals and 2 fillings. I was super depressed and like, “why me”. I started flossing after that, and (it’s not the cause) but things are a lot better now, and the dentist doesn’t kick me when I’m down anymore because I take better care of myself. It’s a metaphor people. Take care of the little things

Think flexibly. Even when your convinced of something, be an internal devil’s advocate. Our thoughts go a long way in impacting our behavior and emotions. Sometimes, it just takes some consideration to calm down and not be so impulsive.

Organization.

Before starting an argument, stop and ask yourself; does this really matter. What really do I have to gain out of this? What could I lose from this? I feel in a society where we’re all encouraged to speak our mind, this is a lesson we need to remember more, especially on the internet.

Leave the bitch (bastard)!

Stop asking this

Admit when you are wrong or did something wrong instead of arguing from pride. You'll feel better. The other party will feel better. Everyone can move on.

Cut out soda pop and fast food. I feel so much better when I’m not consuming that junk

Instead of driving 2 minutes, take a 15-20 minute walk to where you're going. Walking is good for you.

Eating healthy, getting a good nights sleep every night are two things that really make things go better. Add to that no nicotine or substances and you've got most of life licked.

Stop complaining 🛀

Smile more

clean your room

Trick yourself into doing things. I use the mindset of 'if I just do the cleaning for 10 minutes, I can stop.' Then most of the time I get on the roll and finish the job. It can also work in social situations too.

Eat their landlord

TELL THE TRUTH ALL THE TIME. There's no reason this can't be done gracefully.

Subscribe to pewdiepie

I know it sounds insane but meditation

Pay yourself first. We work our asses off and tend to pay everyone else but forget ourselves, or put money in savings as an after thought. Save a minimum of 10%. It may seem tough at first but you should be able to live within the new budget with some small adjustments, and it will greatly reduce the unseen stress of living paycheck to paycheck.

You work hard. Pay yourself for it.

Stop giving a fuck. Life is too short to be running around stressing out over stuff.

Distance from your job has nothing to do with wealth FOR YOU. It does have something to do with wealth FOR ME.

Wake up early and go to sleep early. Have a sleeping schedule. It's amazing being able to actually focus.

Make your bed in the morning

Breathe

Setting your clothes and everything you need for work out the night before. Started doing this when I was almost fired for constantly being late for work and it's helped tremendously. I should've been doing it since the beginning but I always told myself "I'm too tired right now, I'll find them in the morning." When in reality all it does it put you in a rush when you could be spending that time getting ready and making sure you're presentable at work and not looking like you just rolled out of bed. Also helped my confidence as I looked and felt better. Just a small little thing that can help out alot in the morning.

Whenever you have any tasks or jobs that need to get done, write them down. The longer they stay in your head, especially if more and more tasks and jobs come in, the more stressful it will be for you.

Stretch and drink water. Two very simple things with great impact that are often neglected.

Before you make an agreement, make sure you’re able to keep it. Be reliable.

Smile

Don't forget to wear sunscreen :)

Smoke weed every day

Just crack your knuckles it feels so goddamn good

Drink more water.

Remind yourself that one day you will die and eventually everything you'll every do will be forgotten

Drink more water.

Stop smoking weed.

JK smoke weed and be kind to people

Go for a nice long walk or even run if you have the capability to do so.

Learning to swallow pills if you don't know how to do It.

Or at least, I think it's important. At the age of 22years and 3 months and 5 days I still can't do It

Clean your room

  1. A brief mindfulness meditation daily can do wonders for taking control of your state of mind and how you energetically show up for your life.
  2. Starting every day with gratitude. Before I get out of bed, or even before I open my eyes sometimes, I think of 3 things I’m grateful for and really feel the gratitude in my heart.
  3. Try to go 24 hours without complaining about anything! It’s an amazing exercise.

Ride your bicycle to work instead of driving.

always think positively, even when theres a ton of shit happened there will be a positive aspect in it if u look at different prospective.

Look at the things you dislike about yourself. See what can be done about them. If you've been trying for years, perhaps something else is going on.

Maybe you need to see a doctor. That's not a judgment of inferiority but an avenue for getting help. Dwelling on your problems and wallowing in the feeling that they're all your fault may actually be dead wrong, and a hand up may make a world of difference.

This is of course a personal take. I thought for years that my fatigue and lack of muscle was just because I didn't have the will to work out. Turned out that I had low steroid levels (lower than a ninety-year-old) and no amount of trying would have led to success. After starting treatment, without appreciably changing my workout habits, I'm up about thirty pounds of muscle with my weight holding steady.

Listen to people. Really listen. With an open mind and an open heart. And when the person you’re listening to stops talking, ask questions. It is easy, free, and makes all the difference in the world.

Slow down, let people merge/change lanes!! Definitely guilty of both. As soon as I stopped trying to race everywhere, tailgating, blocking people from merging my anxiety and stress were gone.

Try to eat more fruits and veggies. Find something to laugh about every day.

Delete or limit social media. It has a tremendous impact on your mental health. Plus, you could be doing something more productive. (I exclude Reddit from my list of social media, I’m referring mostly to Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat)

Quit soda drink water

Get off social media...seriously, the world out there is so, so much better than what the Facebook or other places suggest.

From time to time buy candies or chocolates for everyone at the office, it do wonders even managers and directors love that shit [they would give you that look that says "but... I'm a grown up" and then reach inside the bag of Kisses^(TM) ] if you buy them by the bag is not that expensive.

I've shown up at meetings with lollipops for everyone and it has always improved the atmosphere.

Don't give up. Unless it puts yourself in danger, then run like shit is coming out.

I've put this into several comments on Reddit before but it works here as well.

My dad once told me some advice a long time ago referring to stress. Is it something you can change? Don't worry about it and change it. Is it something you can't change? Don't worry about it and learn to live with it.

It's easier said than done but I am an anxious person and this helps me keep a good perspective on things.

be more honest

This comment will probably get buried, but it's worth posting I think.

If you haven't done so already, fill out an Advance Directive. No matter how old you are, it's going to be beneficial in the long run. This document dictates your desired end-of-life care. If you want a DNR (Do not resuscitate) then you can put that in your directive. It also dictates how you want your body to be cared for after passing. Deciding these things can take some time and is hard to think about, but it's important to communicate your wishes with your loved ones in the event of your sudden passing.

It's a very tough conversation to have, but worth it in the end.

Take responsibility

Staying hydrated

Pick up an instrument. :) It really does open your mind.

meditate

helps with all kinds of psychological problems, helps make you better at conversations, more focused, calmer etc etc and you can do it entirely on your own terms and for as little as a few minutes

Make water your drink of choice and drink enough of it.

Ride a motorcycle... not always perfect weather but generally improves the experience of getting from place to place. A happier trip to/from work means a slightly happier day by the time you get home.(people are going to say "better their life, not end their life" but more motorcycles also means more awareness and less people in cars to hit them. Motorcyclist notice motorcycles.)

Vaccinate their kids

stay away from this fucking website

read a fun book or something instead or just tidy your house and vacuum a little

Don't be lazy. Go outside. Talk to friends and neighbors.

Clean your room, bucko.

Doing things while you think of them as often as you can.

I started doing this a few years ago and it changed my life. No long to-do lists stacking up, no stress of thinking about what must be done. Just do it the moment it comes to mind if you can (like washing the dishes, exercising, typing that report, etc). It will become second nature, you'll get alot done during your day and feel more fulfilled because you're Accomplishing more on a regular basis

Vipasana meditation, learn it do it that simple

Socks

Try to get up earlier in the morning.

Not easy, but once you force yourself to do it for a week it isn't awful. I started a new shift (old was 8-5, new is 9-6) and I still get up at 6:15am.

I'm able to do any dishes, a load of laundry, sit outside for an hour, whatever. Makes my days so much easier especially when I get home from work. Less chores, more family time.

Anal

DrInK mOrE wAtEr

Cut shitty people out of your life. It's like you stop drinking poison all the time. Once you do it you would feel it and you won't believe how amazing it feels.

And start hanging out with people who respect you.

Pun intended?

Mind you. With absinthe or pernot drinking water really will get you pissed.

[deleted]

If someone says "drink more piss" I'm going to be watered.

Take a walk for a half hour to an hour every day that you possibly can.

Drink 1,5 - 2 L water a day

Going to sleep earlier if you are feeling tired easily. That is the only thing for me.

Drink more water.

Exercise.

Set limits for yourself and stick to them. They can be simple, consistency is more important than the task. Example: Jordan Peterson’s suggestion to clean your room every day. Sounds simple, then do it. As you consistently meet your own expectations you’re confidence grows & achieving goals becomes naturally more manageable. But you must. Be. Consistent. Or the structure will always topple.

Drink a little over the advised of water. Drink 2,5 liters instead of 2.

Being hydrated is so life changing.

I have a lot of issues with my mental health I deal with regularly. Once, I had a roommate who was a close friend that mentored me in fighting my own thoughts. Now, I know this sounds like some superhero origin story but here me out.

Often he would tell me how much control I had over my own thoughts and reactions to my emotions. That being emotional and reacting emotionally we’re distinctly different and just because you feel a certain way, you didn’t have to act it. He repeated this often because despite living with a bunch of men, we were all emotional as hell. Men are really emotional lol, don’t be misled. Anyhow, not one to back down from a challenge or pleasing people, I tried it often. I pushed and pushed until the point that when I was angry, I would just sit and be quiet. And that saved so much energy (maybe not) and problems because I was able to scale back how emotional I was so I could react within reason.

I’m not saying I don’t still anger easily or get emotional at all. I’m still the same emotional man today that I was 5 years or so ago... the difference is that I can reflect on my own emotions in the moment. Being my own worst critic, I used what I thought were flaws in my self confidence to humbly redirect my mind so I could focus on being better in the moment and in the future. It sounds complicated like witchcraft and I generally don’t have any self control but I think my desire to be better than what I usually am pushes me to keep it up. It’s probably the most helpful thing I’ve utilized in all of my life and sadly only faulters in highly emotional moments that tap directly into my mental issues or “triggers” them.

Stop caring what other people think of you and do what you think will make you happy.

Obviously this does not apply to substance abuse, please find help.

Tide your room. It's the best thing you can do to feel better almost instantly.

Drink some water.

Drink a lot of water.

Stop smoking!!!!!!

Don't trust your parents blindly 100%. I helped my five time married monther, who always lost her good income to her men I have gave her the money to pay for her appartment in Europe and many other necessities when I was younger and doing well. She promised me, she would put in my name 30 years ago. She then sent me an official notaris document to give her "the right of life" in that appartment. I signed and returned it from the other side of the world. She just passed in October and left me with 80.000EU debts attached to the appartment she never put in my name. It was planned pension income. Now I am forced to sell it fast pay all her bills and pay inheritance taxes on something I paid for. Naturally it's my fault, I trusted my mother who was a very good business women for a huge Japanese corporation for near 40 years and I am a designer/artist. Never been good at maths and admin/paper stuff. Lucky has people taking care of that for me. So my monther was just one of them who I did not have to pay for. At the end I paid 1/2 of my life savings to her. I never asked to see the property documents. That's my big mistake. Out of respect and trust. We weren't on a lovy dovy relationship as her husband no5 (did not smell like Chanel) was a terrible Homophobe and influenced her also. The past 18 years we only spoke on Skype and then on the phone as she became 70% blind and smoked and I have COPD so I did not visit. Wanted to invite her after becoming a widow but she refused as she can't smoke on the plane. My deceased father in South Africa who I only got to know at age 43 and started spoiling him to catch up a lost life. One day he told all of us he had been attached that his three homes will be split between his 4 children.

After he died, his 2nfd wife and her three kids made sure I get nothing. I can't even fathom the headaches going after the estate in that country living on the other side of the world. And wouldn't know where to start and how to pay for it.

Be kind to your parents what ever they faults are but, don't trust them 100% especially when they get older and you live far away.

All this seeds problems to my current relationship as our future that I thought I will be able to add to, is now not as secure. And yes I am think U am growing into my mother as I get older as I have tried to hide all these finacial problems from my other half just to make sure I am not burdening his mind, but now needed to ask for help. Don't do that neither.

Just relax and push through the hard times it does always get better

Stop using reddit (if you’re on it way too much like me)

Take a fucking shower

Live

Try to not hold on to the negative emotions

Create a Reddit account?

Right now I'm doing a 30 day no juice/soda cleanse and opting for more water! Also I started a savings account and they helps me feel reassured. Someone once said it's like paying yourself and that stuck with me :)

Floss

Putting all your bills on auto pay.

Adopt a cat/dog and make their life better than it was before :)

Play Minecraft

VOTE!

Remove toxic people from your life, regardless of who they are (yes that includes family and life long friends). Trust me on this, life is too short.

Don't trust your parents blindly 100%. I helped my five time married monther, who always lost her good income to her men I have gave her the money to pay for her appartment in Europe and many other necessities when I was younger and doing well. She promised me, she would put in my name 30 years ago. She then sent me an official notaris document to give her "the right of life" in that appartment. I signed and returned it from the other side of the world. She just passed in October and left me with 80.000EU debts attached to the appartment she never put in my name. It was planned pension income. Now I am forced to sell it fast pay all her bills and pay inheritance taxes on something I paid for. Naturally it's my fault, I trusted my mother who was a very good business women for a huge Japanese corporation for near 40 years and I am a designer/artist. Never been good at maths and admin/paper stuff. Lucky has people taking care of that for me. So my monther was just one of them who I did not have to pay for. At the end I paid 1/2 of my life savings to her. I never asked to see the property documents. That's my big mistake. Out of respect and trust. We weren't on a lovy dovy relationship as her husband no5 (did not smell like Chanel) was a terrible Homophobe and influenced her also. The past 18 years we only spoke on Skype and then on the phone as she became 70% blind and smoked and I have COPD so I did not visit. Wanted to invite her after becoming a widow but she refused as she can't smoke on the plane. My deceased father in South Africa who I only got to know at age 43 and started spoiling him to catch up a lost life. One day he told all of us he had been attached that his three homes will be split between his 4 children.

After he died, his 2nfd wife and her three kids made sure I get nothing. I can't even fathom the headaches going after the estate in that country living on the other side of the world. And wouldn't know where to start and how to pay for it.

Be kind to your parents what ever they faults are but, don't trust them 100% especially when they get older and you live far away.

All this seeds problems to my current relationship as our future that I thought I will be able to add to, is now not as secure. And yes I am think U am growing into my mother as I get older as I have tried to hide all these finacial problems from my other half just to make sure I am not burdening his mind, but now needed to ask for help. Don't do the latter two neither.

Treat yo self!

Listen to podcasts, and then leave reviews. It's a great way to learn, be entertained, and feel good by helping out independent creators.

Why does this question appear once a week, it’s all the same top responses as well

Don't trust your parents blindly 100%. I helped my five time married monther, who always lost her good income to her men I have gave her the money to pay for her appartment in Europe and many other necessities when I was younger and doing well. She promised me, she would put in my name 30 years ago. She then sent me an official notaris document to give her "the right of life" in that appartment. I signed and returned it from the other side of the world. She just passed in October and left me with 80.000EU debts attached to the appartment she never put in my name. It was planned pension income. Now I am forced to sell it fast pay all her bills and pay inheritance taxes on something I paid for. Naturally it's my fault, I trusted my mother who was a very good business women for a huge Japanese corporation for near 40 years and I am a designer/artist. Never been good at maths and admin/paper stuff. Lucky has people taking care of that for me. So my monther was just one of them who I did not have to pay for. At the end I paid 1/2 of my life savings to her. I never asked to see the property documents. That's my big mistake. Out of respect and trust. We weren't on a lovy dovy relationship as her husband no5 (did not smell like Chanel) was a terrible Homophobe and influenced her also. The past 18 years we only spoke on Skype and then on the phone as she became 70% blind and smoked and I have COPD so I did not visit. Wanted to invite her after becoming a widow but she refused as she can't smoke on the plane. My deceased father in South Africa who I only got to know at age 43 and started spoiling him to catch up a lost life. One day he told all of us he had been attached that his three homes will be split between his 4 children.

After he died, his 2nfd wife and her three kids made sure I get nothing. I can't even fathom the headaches going after the estate in that country living on the other side of the world. And wouldn't know where to start and how to pay for it.

Be kind to your parents what ever they faults are but, don't trust them 100% especially when they get older and you live far away.

All this seeds problems to my current relationship as our future that I thought I will be able to add to, is now not as secure. And yes I am think U am growing into my mother as I get older as I have tried to hide all these finacial problems from my other half just to make sure I am not burdening his mind, but now needed to ask for help. Don't do the latter two neither.

Drink glass of water when you wake up, it awakes your whole body. A while ago my roommate told me to do that becouse I was always tired. Works pretty good so far.

This may not better your life but it can/will save your life.

Whenever entering any structure take notice of all of your closest exits. In the event of a fire many people resort to what they know, which would be the entrance they came in from. This causes a choke point where people get trampled and die from panic.

You should always look around even in grocery stores or department stores and take note of the closest possible exit. In the event of a fire it can spread in 30 seconds blocking vital exit paths

From what I've seen, asking this question on here. Pretty simple to copy and paste it from last week when it was asked, yet always results in karma.

They can just try to smile more. Smiling more makes the person have a better mood.

Be very self aware. So few people really understand their faults. You can work on your faults and set correct expectations to other people if you know them. I always say self awareness is the greatest gift you can give to the people around you.

LIFT WEIGHTS! Been at since I was 14 and it's been an incredible journey.

Write a book

Volunteer at a homeless shelter

Wear sunscreen! Everyday that you go outside!

Commiting toaster bath

Give your husband oral pleasure. It will bring you great joy at how happy he is.

Be the person your dog thinks you are.

Stop using your phone while laying in your bed. Its fine if you want to use it at night, but then do it outside of the bed. Dont let your brain associate entertainment with your sleeping place. Seperating these two things drastically improves your sleeping and it can really improve how you feel the next day. It can also better your sleeping schedule.

Edit: hey you, reading this, yeah you. If you are laying in bed right now: just put your phone away. Make it a small challenge for yourself, you have to be able to do such a simple thing right? How can it be so hard? Its about just doing it. Immediately set your alarm, and shut off the screen. Its that easy. <3

Do a brief workout in the morning for at least 20 minutes, energizes your day.

Find some form of physical activity that you enjoy--walking, jogging, bike-riding, swimming, tennis, yoga, anything--and do it every day. Don't indulge in too much crappy food, eat lots of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, seeds, nuts (animal products are up to you but I think Americans eat too much of them), drink lots of water every day. Take care of your body--you only have one! Bad health habits are costly & ruinous. Once you lost your health it's almost possible to get it back.

ONE thing😂

Make your bed in the morning.

Scrolled way too damn far and didn’t see meditation. It is maybe the single greatest tool for curating our own experience.

High five yourself in the mirror in the morning.

It sounds absurd, but it will help your mood and your confidence. At the least, you'll get a laugh out of it. And laughing is healthy.

Magic mushrooms

Update your wills and final arrangements as you age also make sure when you are pre dementia to tell the family it will be okay if you need a nursing home and they can't take care of you as they themselves get older. Also make sure your kids are given power of attorney before anything happens to you. Make sure you have long term care insurance and look at your options for where you want to go when that time does come frequently.

I have been reading a lot of elder care horror stories and the main thing is guilt and feeling like they have to take care of Mom and Dad 24/7. You don't have to and some of the negligence of nursing homes is due to rushing things and under staffed under paid and over worked employees dealing with people thinking they are better than the professionals who do care for the elderly to keep them from wondering off and getting lost and try to keep things as routine as possible so they don't have violent out bursts or take feces out of the toilet and eat it like corn on the cob. I saw that when I was visiting my great grandpa his roommate thought he was at his family house in Kentucky eating bbq.

Stop using social media and the internet as a whole. Y'all are just AIDS with massive egos and WAY too much free time

Quit watching porn. Single best thing I have ever done for my mental health and well-being.

Live within your means! Seriously don't fuck with debt. Source: finally paid off £12k in credit card debt a year ago and have savings for the first time in my life.

Skin Care!

Hear me out here...play dungeons and dragons. My mental health has been significantly better since I started playing a few months ago. The ability to turn out this horrid real world once a week and live in one I’ve made myself is a breath of very very fresh air. My creativity, mental health, relationships, and everything in between has been better because of it.

Always take risks. If you are given an opportunity that will better your life, take it and don't worry about the consequences. You don't know what'll happen until you take the chance to discover it and find out.

Pay attention to the little things in life. Sometimes I grab the same colored bowl and plate when I make ramen, and I make sure to do a little happy dance when it happens.

buy new socks and underwear more frequently...costs nothing, feels good

Don't gossip. You'll only get more and more insecure by judging others.

Also keep this in mind : there is no such thing as useless knowledge

Always take the opportunity to walk somewhere. Saves money on fuel, gives you a chance to get some exercise and some fresh air once in a while is nothing to be sneered at.

Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Allows you time to get organized and things done before everyone else gets to the office, gives you some alone time in the car or your desk to clear your mind before a busy day.

One simple thing redditors can do is read the replies for this exact same question that is asked once a week on Reddit lol

Take a walk, one hour, five times a week! Get outside and enjoy fresh air.

If someone says “make your bed everyday” i will lose it.

Try to stay organized. Being disorganized creates a mess which will lead to more problems

DRINK WATER. Seriously though people dont drink near enough water. Get a hyrdoflask and keep it with you.

It sounds silly but just drink more water. Your body will thank you for it and if you're someone who gets acne, it will definitely help clear it up.

Come up with some quotes for yourself, and become a deep thinker of your own life.

If we heavily analyze the things in life that we don't acknowledge at all, sometimes our own nature, it can help us find problems in ourselves we couldn't access.

Whether that means talking to yourself, to a friend or just in your head, engaging in really deep thinking is really healthy and can give you a better understanding of society and yourself.

Some quotes I created for myself that I stand by is "Acknowledging your problems and mistakes does nothing but allow you to justify your wrongs. Fixing those mistakes is what makes you a good person."

Another one is "If you find ways to become the perfect person, you can become that perfect person for someone else"

We dont think or analyze anything in our lives. We need to become scholars of our lives to find solutions for you and others.

Stop blaming your insecurities and problems on “society”. So often people confuse the media and society together, and it just really annoys me. If you want change then you have to be the change.

Go to the gym. It’s healthy for you, and you will look better

Drink more water.

Make your bed in the morning.

Go out more and socialize. Go out you comfort zone a little and get friends or be more open

Masturbation 🤣🤣

Exercise daily, pretty damn simple. Take a walk, do some pushups, lift something, run, ride a bike it doesnt matter just do anything other than going straight to the couch after work!

Get In a relationship

Stop watching porn.

Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.

Exercise regularly. Being in shape is nothing but upside. Work through the challenge of making it a habit and keep up with it.

It gets easier. You have to do it every day. That's the hard part. But it gets easier.

Imho, accepting Christ in your life.

Quit sitting on your arse.

Also go to settings, in search bar type “reduce white point”. After that you can triple click the home button (iPhone) and I use it to save battery and makes my eyes not feel like crap

Stay strong positive even in the hardest of times. You never know who’s watching, looks up to you, and needs that boost.

I think doing stuff like taking a break, read a book or something like that always helps.

Or you could change your diet for the better, and start going to a fitness center? That also works for me. To improve and stuff

It healthier and exercise

Exercise helps with happiness and stress

Saying please and thank you. Practicing good manners in general will lead others to respond in kind, and we could all use some kindness in our lives.

Practice positive self talk. When I was in therapy, that was one thing she told me she could see I was doing really well and improving my life with.

Praising rather than being really harsh helps boost your self esteem. For example: I accidently left some colored papers in the printer at work so the nurse that used it next had to reprint some stuff. Instead of, "I'm so dumb I can't ever remember to take out the paper and now that nurse has to take time out of her busy schedule to reprint her stuff" I say "Lesson learned. Make note to check the tray after you're done next time. It's a positive that it wasn't 10 sheets rather than two. I'll apologize to the nurse and offer to make her a new copy. "

Quit all social media.

Make your bed. No matter how bad the day gets to be, you've accomplished one thing.

Clean the mess around your house or at least where you sleep. Itll keep your mind clear and the roaches away from that 2 week old Turkey ham sandwich with garlic aioli that's been rotting underneath your bed from that one drunk Saturday night that you forgot about

Chew with their mouth closed

Wake up early Work out Make bed first thing in the morning

Exercise.

I go to the gym 4-5 times a week. There are lots of times I try to give myself an excuse not to go. However, I remind myself that there’s never been a time where I left the gym and wasn’t glad I went.

Don't use the snooze button. There's a reason you set your alarm for that time. Plus, you can compliment yourself for completing a very difficult task if you get up when you're supposed to.

Be more open. Talk about your issues. When I had my bad moments, taking always helped. Even online friends. Also, being open for more informations. CGP Grey said in one video(I've forgotten witch) that if you find a better opinion, take it. It will make you evolve as a human being.

Follow up thank-yous with "I appreciate it." I've found it makes the thank-you stick way more, makes people think about how they are appreciated. Also, people generally like to hear the words "You're right," if you can sprinkle that in it makes the conversation a little lighter.

Be fothright

When having short idle times, like waiting for a game to load or adds during television. Get up and clean something small, maybe your dirty plates needs to go into the kitchen? Clean a pot, start the dishwasher, clean a surface. Lots of small things will turn into something big eventually.

Taking at least 30 min each day to yourself and do something without technology! Every day I try to take 30 min and either journal, exercise, walk the dog, stretch or just have a cup of coffee and read a bit of a book. I find that I come away feeling refreshed and happy, I forget how much technology whether it is my phone, computer, or TV tires me out!

Exercise regularly.

Eat more fruits and vegetables.

Find a good physical therapist. You might need a referral from a doctor but you may not. Some policies offer a wellness option. Stretching and then when it comes time dry needling is absolutely the bomb. I've been cured of plantar fasciitis,golfer's elbow and sciatica like muscle pain. It's extremely painful but works like magic.

Clean and tidy your living space.

I'm a messy person with piles of clothes and dishes. It gets overwhelming. So my mantra is "just do three things." I'll clean three dishes. I'll put three clothes where they belong. Evil trickery: I usually wind up on a cleaning binge. Always makes me feel more level headed.

Bonus: Marie Kondo method is life changing.

Forgive & forget.

Just send it

Set realistic achievable goals for every day, like making your bed in the morning. If you can do at least one thing everyday that you scratch off your list (be it literal or in your head) it’ll be more motivating to get stuff done the rest of the day because you know you can accomplish what you set your mind to. Also I’m a server at a restaurant and I swear the difference between a good shift and a shitty one is 100% mindset going into it. If you’re in a bad mood and are stand-offish to your coworkers or guests it’ll reflect in how everyone treats you. And if you’re stressed and panic that when you start to make mistakes, slow down, take a breath and ask for help and you’ll be able to get out of the weeds.

I think that you just need train something, moving around, some exhibition...

Have a routine but never be afraid to break it and be spontaneous once in a while

LSD. I just tried it this past weekend, and it changed my life already. Anxiety has always been a part of my life. I couldn't leave the apartment for weeks. There have been times when I couldn't leave the couch because of depression so intense. I couldn't even get up to feed myself or take my medication some days. Marijuana has helped me to get rid of PTSD nightmares, but it has it's drawbacks for me. I still plan to use it-- just not for a bit of time while I'm applying to new jobs etc. I know it's only been a couple of days since I've tried LSD... but for the first time in my life I didn't feel anxious about being in public alone. In all honesty, your mileage my vary with LSD. I had a frightening experience within the first couple hours of taking it but my friends pulled me out of that. After that, it was smooth sailing and the realization that my life is OK. Even when it's not... it's nothing in the grand scheme of things. I hope this perspective change lasts.

Keep a schedule. Instead of: “I got 2 hours till next class, what should I do?”

It’s: “Time to work for 1 and a half hours and catch up on before class”

Don't be dick and treat others the way you want to be treated. It's pretty simple, but lots of people don't seem to get it.

Trashtag

Not repost on reddit

Join a physical activity and commit to doing it 3x per week.

I don’t care if it’s yoga, weights, running, Crossfit, or jujitsu. Just pick something and stick to it. You’ll be healthier and gain skills overtime.

Start putting the toilet paper the right way

Stop using the Comedy Channel as a news source. It's meant to be funny and edgy, not factual.

Always contribute to your 401k. Try for the max that can put in, at the very minimum put in how much the company matches.

Putting in the cereal before the milk

get a dog

Take ownership of it.

try different sleeping positions and for any that hurt your back and or neck never ever lie that way down again

Stop caring. You're not here for a long time, so make it a good time. Just not care. Some people angry at you? Don't be angry back. It's working for me but I can't confirm if it works for anyone else.

Drink more water.

Exercise. I recently started taking walks everyday. I have lost so much weight and it just overall feels good.

Quit caffeine

Put color in their house. Many people keep their house a neutral color to make it seem uniform and neat and tidy. When i was around 11-12 i was diagnosed with severe depression among many other things. I started to add color to my room, whether it be a small little colorful rock i found or a picture i drew. I added small plants and when i got my dog in 8th grade i bought her colorful toys and blankets. The colors really help bring up the mood; often times when we are sad we see black. Im a very color oriented person anyway, and now (except that its always messy) am proud of how colorful my new room is. I strive to make it colorful, and as i prepare to go away to college i plan on bringing the wonderful colors with me

Make your bed every day

Set concrete boundries for yourself and those in your close circle and stick to them, unapologetically. Your relationships will improve, you will get the respect you want and deserve from parents, in-laws, bosses, etc. It took me having kids for me to realize I wasn't okay with people walking all over me and pushing my boundries, and there was a short adjustment period where people seemed shocked that I wouldn't just roll over and take what they were fishing out, but all in all, it lead to healthier relationships with both my parents, in laws and my best friend. They weren't toxic, just used to me always being willing to be the one to give up first or bend over backwards for them. It was making me resentful.

Quit smoking, drinking, and yall gonna hate this one.. video games

Invest

For me it’s something i saw on reddit, an it’s helped me a lot. When you are about to start a small task, but don’t really wanna do it, count to three and get up and do it. Sounds dumb, but it really helps

I read a lot of self help books and never did much with all of the great ideas I read. A few years ago I bought my first stock that I wanted to hold on for forever, buying into a company that I was a customer of for many years made a big difference. It lead to me keeping a simple spreadsheet with my all of y assets and debts in one place. Kind of a net worth tracker. A few years ago it went into the positive and I'm excited to see it go up a little every month. Makes me think about opportunity costs of small purchases and smaller ideas like how I could make a few extra bucks. It made me reduce careless spending. I highly recommend you make a tracker. It will lead into budgeting goal setting and just more honestly about money.

This is posted every single day

Eat a little better and do a little exercise.

Goal:

Resist one treat or processed food each day.

Do one push-up and one sit-up a day.

Here is the start.

Drink more water

get a therapist.

cut their toenails and fingernails, especially males

Play D&D. My life was super boring and unbearable before I started playing D&D with my friends. I still have my struggles, sure, but I found that always enjoyed life more when I played this game with friends. I ran my first game for 5e, and I had a blast being the DM for nearly 3 years (all the same game!). That’s also how I reaffirmed that I want to be a game designer. I realized I love crafting worlds and stories and characters and stuff. I started going for my CS major last fall, and I’m getting real close to designing my first game.

Love yourself. Accept your flaws and quirks. Embrace your past mistakes and use them as a learning experience for the future. This will allow you to have a more positive mindset, which can have a domino effect on your life (better mood, more motivation to do kind things for others and better your own life).

I didn't love myself for a while. I constantly found myself sliding into a pit and every time I'd start climbing out, I'd lose my footing and go sliding deeper. I learned to love myself and it allowed me to turn around and see the stairwell out of the pit. I marched my happy ass up to the top and continued walking forward in my life's journey. Even more, being out of my pit has allowed me to extend a hand to others stuck in theirs.

Use sunscreen.

Learn how to use a computer. Basic computer literacy skills are crucial in today's day and age.

Drink more water

Do no harm, but take no shit.

Quit smoking.

Eat more salads. And, well, fruits and vegetables in general.

Masterb8

exercise

Clean your house, and get rid of useless junk. A cluttered house is displeasing and causes stress and discomfort.

Drink more water. Probably the easiest thing someone can do to benefit their life a tiny bit.

Donate, making a better life for others is a better live for all.

Breathe

Workout

Drink water 💧

Instead of making huge drastic changes, divide work up into smaller bits, and even mark things off as completed for self reward. Give yourself breaks, and keep going when you’re feeling productive!

Don’t be a dick.

Read the Bible.

Go to the gym regularly, not even every day. Just go like 3 days a week. Improves your health, body, mind and confidence.

Invest for retirement

Wake up early

Learn to say no sometimes.

Start off by making your bed every morning. Then gradually, go up and increase the tasks you do, like making sure to clean your bathroom every weekend. Even if your life is in shambles you'll have something to keep your mind off of it, and better yet, you'll have a clean home to come to at night after work.

Have sex

Listening to other people who criticize you. There is zero harm in listening to someone who is trying to be helpful. They may be 100% in their critcization, but listening and not being excessively defensive hurts zero people

Learn to defend yourself.

Probalbly sleep a healthy amount. I never tried it but people say its good

Do sports not much but at leas a little bit.

Tell the truth, or at least don’t lie.

Jerk off

A little weed here and there, to keep the body kicking and soul relaxed

Be nice to every stranger, even if you they are not nice to you. You will make someone elses day better if you can just be nice to them. You dont know what shit they are going through during that day and these simple things can help. Knowing this it really does help me be more happier, just because someone is a dick to you doesnt mean you must reply the same way. Just be nice, dramas are not worth it.

Build an army, trust nobody.

Get up earlier.

Sleep more. Sleep is 100x more important than the average person gives it credit for.

Have a steady sleep schedule and maintaining a good sleep hygiene.

Workout and eat healthy

Work hard for eaht you want.

Pizza

being positive:)

Make your bed every morning

Eat healthy.

Cut off soda, make water your best friend

Hold yourself accountable and dont shift blame on others if it is truly something you need to own up to. Living this way has improved my life ten fold. Call yourself on your own bullshit man.

Take a little break every time things are going out of the way and try coming back as a stronger person.

Most importantly feeling okay with not being okay !! Cause the endeavors of today are the stories of tomorrow. Smile and shine :)

Take 5 or 10 minutes to clean up.

If something can be done very quickly, just do it.

Reread messages and emails before your send them.

Set a timer for 5 minutes and just clean or organize something. 5 minutes is no time and you’ll be amazed at how much you can get done in that time frame. I do this daily and I end up working through the timer to wrap something up. Now your place is cleaner and more organized and now you feel better about it.

Ever get a text or an email you just don’t want to open because you’re scared of what it says? Me too. If you don’t open and respond immediately, it lingers in your mind, stresses you out, and it probably will make the situation worse. In my case, 90% of the time, the message isn’t that big of a deal. Pull the bandaid!

The amount of text messages I’ve sent that do not make sense and have huge spelling errors are through the roof. Always made me feel stupid. Didn’t realize I could stop that habit if I just reread what I wrote and made edits. Do this in work emails and you’ll be even more professional.

Go for a walk every day/exercise

Put butter on bread....

Smile. Be happy everyday. The energy surrounding the vibe is contagious.

Get a good night’s sleep

Drive safe, and be considerate to others on the road.

Stop being so damned lazy

Meditate

Pick a simple task to do EVERY day. Same time, same place, same task.

For me it's making my bed. First thing I do once I get up. It starts your day off with a task accomplished, something nice for you when you get home, and helps keep yourself in order. Reference Admiral McRaven's speech about making your bed. For me it helped me get out of a depressive mindset and bad habits.

Regularly exercising. Relieve stress and keeps you healthy. Never understood why people cant spend 30mins a day for such a lifetime of benefits.

Maybe changing our comsuption rate (Well, I think so) Trying investing in long term proyects, be more simple with our product choices, and have a optimistic attitude

It's not all about money, so, aditionally, we all could stop being diven by our feelings, I think that could really solve a lot of society's problems, like ideological conflicts. Also, I personally believe that you must act for yourself, but if the opportunity is given, it isn't bad helping people to acomplishe their own goals

Literally, just clean your room. Creating a habit of living in a tidier place motivates you a lot.

Read books

Build and groom your positive relationships!! Life is often better with a strong and well rounded network.

A talent for knowing people is an amazing skill to have. Say hi to those around you, give them a smile, invite them for coffee, etc. Establish yourself and everyone will enjoy your presence and miss your absence more.

Walk. Specifically walk more in nature get out into a forest or beach and breath.

Sleep. Lots of people seems to underestimate how important it is.

Speak kindly to yourself. It makes getting through difficult things so much easier if you aren’t sabotaging yourself with criticisms and judgements.

Take walks in nature

Start exercising. Too many benefits not to.

Spend some time outside every day. Just a 20 minute walk or stretching out in your backyard will help keep depression at bay. It's certainly not a total cure for depression or anything, but it helps.

Mind their own business

Workout.

Mewing. It'll change your face.

Do one new thing each day: take a different way home, order something different for lunch, go to the park instead of shopping on your day off, wear something you wouldn’t normally. There are a million options. This makes it easier to put yourself into new and potentially uncomfortable situations when it’s important.

Socializing. Its a skill that can take you far in life.

I found the best philosophies that made my life better is a "I'll try" attitude, and being the best me.

They're both kind of ephemeral, unmeasureable things, but willingness to tackle any problem no matter whether you know how to solve it takes you leaps and bounds more than just doing what you know how to do.

As for being the best me, this is just a small mental reminder that life doesn't have to be a competition with other people. Be happy for other people's success, but there best measure of success for you is if you're living a better life today that you were yesterday. You tried to be nicer, kinder, more productive, happier, healthier than you were yesterday, and eeven if you failed, that's okay. Theres glory in effort, and the fact that you're trying means you're doing better than you were yesterday and that you'll be even better tomorrow.

It's easy to go to sleep happy knowing that even if tomorrow is a shit show, through my efforts I'll be a an even better version of myself through my own efforts.

Clean your room

Smile!

Walk more everyday. If you work an office job, take a quick walk through the building or outside on your break. It helps with the sleepiest around 2-3 pm

Go to bed on time. Don’t stay up till all fucking hours watching mindless crap or playing games, and don’t overdo the alcohol and replace sleep with it. Getting a good nights sleep most nights will lead to a number of other good things.

In my opinion your freetime is an important aspect of your life that's why I like to workout and do sports like basketball, swimming and athletics. Sport and things to do in your freetime help you in terms of living a better life.

Clean more often. Take 10 minutes out of their day to take care of their skin. Read something that makes them smile but also grants knowledge. Budget, but allow yourself to get something small to treat yourself once a week. Let the person they love know they love them by simply texting them good morning and good night. Know when things are getting to be too much and ask for help. Don’t beat yourself too much, remember, you’re human too.

Get up, dress up, show up, level up.

Read books. For entertainment, for learning.. just read. And stretch too!

Peeling Bananas Correctly You do it from the nub not the handle.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/peel-a-banana-from-the-bottom_n_56ebfe41e4b084c6721ffc70/amp

be yourself, it's the best thing you can do ever

Ask people you love how they are doing, openly

Same wake up time and doing your bed every morning is suppose to make you more productive. Haven't tried it tho lol

Plan your tomorrow, go to bed early and get up early.

Drink coconut water (from a coconut or a legit pure one), that's tasty and refreshing and imma consume that anytime.

Delete the Youtube app from all of their devices!

Don’t have kids out of wed lock, graduate high school, have a job.

Meditate.

Music makes any life better and happier!

Exercise.

Drink water. It seems stupid but starting to drink more water helps cut out sugary drinks and helps your body a great deal. Sub water for soda or tea or even coffee.

Clean up your room, stand up straight with your shoulders back.

Clean your room.

Run

Think positive and go cycling more often.

If you have a calm enviroment before sleeping, take a couple mins to appreciate and feel how peacefull that moment is

Think about the new things you have learned each day before going to sleep. It will make your day more fulfilled and help you memorise more things.

Not taking shit from anyone and feeling you have to lower your standards to get yourself farther in life.

Get a hobby that's cheap to maintain.

Realise that:

(The most important one goes first here) it's okay to not be okay, please talk to someone

Strangers don't care as much as you think they care.

It's okay to be alone sometimes.

A few good friends is better than a ton of shitty ones.

Sex isn't this magical place where everything changes.

Help someone else at least once a day with no expectation of reward.

Meditate. The kind of meditation where you simply observe everything that comes across your mind stream. This observation excludes judgment of or engagement with what you observe. Simply observe.

The advantage of this for me is, among other things, that it's both a relief valve and it gives me insight.
As a relief valve, it relieves the underlying chaos and distraction of all those submerged influences constantly vying to come to the surface.
As insight, it shows me how my mind works; how significant and insignificant mental things want my attention. And, when you've meditated frequently enough, you may find that even when you are not meditating, these things reveal themselves and you can then address or dismiss them at that time.

For me, meditation is a huge stress reliever and way to improve quality of life.

Drink water first thing in the morning and whenever you’re bored or feeling peckish drink water. Eat more colorful fruits and vegetables. Don’t eat fast food

focus on whats in your control; emotions, thoughts, and actions. you can either perceive an event as good or bad regardless of what thay event is. its all about perception, and you have control over that. nothing else matters. remain detached from all external factors and build your character, thats where true happiness comes from.

Cycle to work when possible, ;earn to cook basic dishes, improve your posture and voice exercises ( youtube )

all great suggestions but how do i actually give enough of a fuck to do any of these?

Go for a walk, in the countryside if possible, but any walking is good.

Go vegan. No more stomach pain after eating things with milk! Youll probably get way better at cooking and paying attention to your nutrition. It kinda forces you to try lots of delicious new foods too.

Buy stock Take the right drug and dose Clean your room

Meditate

When you shower, turn off the lights and light candles instead. I get a bunch of t lights, put some on the shelves in the shower and have like 5 going on the sink. Your body looks much better in candle light, and you can imagine you're in a spa. Be careful shaving.

Illuminate your room with string lights, and turn them on right when you wake up, keeps the depressions away. In fact make sure your home is properly lit, helps your eyes long term and mental illness short term.

Eat whole foods, become "regular", you'll feel much better.

Eat outside, listen to the birds and people going about their day, it might inspire you once youre done eating.

Have a routine. Even if you go to bed at 2am and wake up at noon. Routine helps mental illness, especially depression. You should have a clear beginning, middle and end to your day.

Find an activity to keep you moving. So you can "work out" and not count down a timer. I spin poi ☺

Make sure to get some sunlight!!

If you can afford it, get some therapy. Get those pesky thoughts out of your brain.

If you dont have the means of therapy, or you can't go as often as you like, writing letters to people you have no intention of sending help a lot. It helps sort through your feelings until you get tired of talking about them, and then you can move on, and you have your thoughts gathered for the next time you talk to someone youre upset with or in love with.

  • a mentally ill person who learned a bunch of healthy coping mechanisms

Hit the road and travel.

For girls- eyebrows. They’re supposed to be shaded, not drawn on with a sharpie marker.

Do a simple work everyday in the morning to wake you up and become healthier

hit the gym, no actually it's a great stress reliever and helps boost confidence

Drink a glass of water

100 pushups, 100 situps, 100 squats, and a 10k run every day and you'll be a God.

Wake up no less than an hour before you have to start your day. Having that lone quiet hour will do wonders for your entire day.

Don't stop studying after finishing school. Sure, you might not think you need to know how to divide fractions, (it's the first thing that came to mind) but not knowing how to do it can really suck.

Truly forgive and move forward

Forgiving people for their wrongdoings!

Compliment others. Especially those of the same gender. A few kind words can really brighten someones day and even though it sounds cheesy, kindness is contagious.

Stay hydrated and go for walks!

Quit acting like a little bitch

Get a cat.

Eat healthy. It really takes less effort than people think, and you’ll feel SO much better not only physically, but mentally as well. Plus, it doesn’t mean ya can’t cheat every once in a while!

Learn to say "no". Be polite, but Firm about it.

End it.

Be rich

Learn to type correctly. It will help you almost every day of your life.

Meditate

Plan when they are gonna wake up and when you do wake up. Spend sometime stretching.

Wake up early I’ve done this for a few months now and trust me I have more energy, I get more done and I’m not as lazy. If you can get out of bed earlier than 8AM you can accomplish anything

As crazy as it sounds trusting your gut is the best thing you can do. If you feel somethings wrong look into it and don’t ignore it. I’ve been fucked over far to many times due to ignoring the signs

Allow yourself to be bored there is a lot of stuff you will find there.

Talk things out. This could help with papers, or issues someone is having. Don’t try and hold things in and kept by yourself. Talk to yourself, friends, or even your pets about problems you may be having. Just saying these things out loud can relief a lot of stress and anxieties. Also don’t feel pressure by society about things you can or can’t do. Wanna if you want to eat dinner by yourself, go for it, watch a movie on your own, go do it, if you want to cry, cry. Don’t put off things you want to do just because people might think different of you.

Don't be a victim. I've had some horrific things happen to me in my life, but identifying as a victim of [fill in the blank] abuse isn't helping you lead a happy life. I was sexually, physically, and mentally abused; have a fucked up spine, and have dealt with daily pain for 25 years (that’s the short list). I don’t identify as a victim of any of these things. I present myself as a successful professional who has had a great life that many would envy, and as a whole it's true.

Don't let circumstance hold you back from achieving the best you can achieve.

Apologies don't mean anything if your actions can't back them up.

I know it’s not easy but: learn to let things go and don’t stress over everything. Lots of life is out of our control and constantly being stressed about it it bad for your health, mental and physical.

Die

Put down the alcohol, and drink more water.

choosing the good side of things. just because. neither one is more true, so why not choose the one feeling better?

Begin your day by drinking a full glass of water.

Stop worrying so much about what other people think.

Put your phone away when it is time to sleep and you are laying in bed. Yes, stop reading this comment and go to sleep.

Put. The. Plastic. In. The. Bin

Think of your future self as someone you care about and love dearly and look after them through sleeping well.

cry to get sympathy/money from others

Make your bed! Messy bed, messy head.

When you wake up, and before you do anything, make a mental plan of what you want to get done that day. It will make achieving things much easier if you start your day with the right mindset.

Walk in the park/forest without listening to anything except nature

Go to bed at the same (reasonable) time every night, even on weekends.

Also get up at the same time in the morning. Sleeping in does not show appreciable benefits for catching up on missed sleep hours elsewhere.

Something as simple as a set and reasonable sleep routine has innumerable health benefits, from cardiovascular health to mental wellness to immune and neurological strength.

This should really be a starting point for people who want to tackle myriad 'self-betterment' tactics; most things that people aim for (weight loss, less depression, more energy, better focus, etc.) are all boosted by sufficient and healthy sleep.

Become a Hare Krishna.

Exercise for 30 minutes every day.

Clean your room

Limit your fast food to once or twice a week. Buy your food from the grocery store,

Pls take an extra minute to wash your hands, especially in public rest rooms

READ MORE BOOKS

Fake a smile. You gotta fake it till you make it.

People are gonna be like "ugh, don't tell me to smile", but smiling at people really does improve your mood.

If you are annoyed by someone in the train (or something like that) and you are sure that other people are annoyed too, just say it. Clear, calm and friendly.

Like today, I asked a girl if she would mind turning her mobile noise down. I would always avoid saying this kinda things and thinking afterwards of what I would wanted to say. But it actually gives me less stress about something so small!

Start taking black seed oil everyday.

It’s ok to fail as long as you get back up... and your failure should be a learning experience to improve yourself... and each try should be given maximum effort... and actually this isn’t simple at all :(

you know those books by millionaires that explain how they got there? buy them, read them, and watch you become a millionaire and it gives you good skills to use in your life plus a lot of muney

Spend less time on Reddit

Take cold showers a couple of times a week.

Listen to the album Sam's Town by The Killers at least once a week.

Stop caring what others think about you and just be who you are. Still trying to work on that though.

Accept when you cannot change a situation and instead devote your attention to working around it.

It's often much easier said than done, but once I managed to make this work for me, my happiness shot up

Masturbate

Watch YouTuber What I've Learned.

Then do all of that

Looking at the pros and cons before making a decision.

People can literally just walk round their block for an hour a day and they'd be healthier

A few brief suggestions:

Drink enough water. Get enough sleep. Get up early, go to bed early. Take vitamins/supplements.

I think the #1 suggestion for stretching is also great.

For something a little more complex: recently I've changed my life by always doing something for 'life maintenance' when I get home for work BEFORE video games or TV/Netflix. Train yourself to value getting something done (can be something small like organizing one drawer) and rewarding yourself with your leisure activities. This will transform your life and you will feel like you're driving your life rather than it driving you.

Another suggestion: spend time confronting your strongly-held beliefs. Even if you don't change your mind about something or learn anything, make it a habit to check in with your opinions and identify where they've come from.

Read books!

Tell you’re significant other that you love them every day.

Clean your room and do your dishes. A clean environment promotes a healthy mind

Eat real food. Minimize fast food and premade/frozen meals. You'd be surprised how much a healthy balanced diet will effect mood and over all sense of well being.

Don't dwell on the past. "You can't have a better tomorrow if you're always thinking about yesterday", someone once sent me that and it's always stuck with me.

Wake up early. It’s crazy how productive you can be in the morning while everyone else is asleep. Plus you have more of the day to relax and enjoy.

Slow down. It's not a rush to the end.

Derive your self-esteem from who you are and not what you have done.

Don't be scared to miss out on something. Make peace with the fun you've had and don't keep pushing it until it isn't fun or you're starting to not feel it. Can apply to lots of situations from taking that next bomb of mdma to going home early from a gig as you're tired and not enjoying it.

Accepting every small favors from your boss goes a long way to get on his good side. It will pay off in the future for that raise or extra vacation time.

Make their bed every morning

Trust people unless they give you a reason not to trust them. But key is to know how much to trust someone at any given point in your relationship

Everyday, write down something positive about yourself or that happened that day and put it in a piggy bank. We save money for a rainy day, and we can do the same with positivity! If you're feeling down grab a handful and try to remember how you felt when you wrote it.

Vote.

Start going on walks, long or short, they're great!

Get sober. Not simple, but the benefits will be wonderful

Openness to change opinions after hearing new information.

read this! A lot of people struggle with self development and this explains and shines light on that “critical inner voice” of yours. I read it and realized I can process my emotions and choose what to do rather than acting on them.

psychalive.org

Better someone else's life.

When you do something, do it well.

You will Save time and money on the long run. Do it even more better if you hate the task!

Try to stay calm. You can think clearer.

Only drink water. Huge mental and physical benefits.

Smile and just say hello to random strangers. You will be surprised how much a simple hello will make a person feel better.

Spend time communicating with your partner. Make time for them. It's easy to grow apart when you don't set the time aside like when you were first dating, and a little undivided attention goes a long way.

Make your bed every morning

Stop masturbating so frequently.

Stop recalling memes that died a year ago

less time on reddit

Breathe

Masturbate daily.

Learn to take responsibility for things you can influence, but also to not fret over the things that are beyond your control. Wasting effort in them takes away from the energy you do have, setting you back even further.

​

Also, let your accomplishments stand on their own. A win is a win, no matter how small it may seem. Be honest to yourself

Die

A positive attitude helps.

That and drugs.

Every night before I go to bed, I make a to-do checklist for the next day. I add everything I can think of, even the simple things. It makes my downtime much more efficient and it makes sure I don’t forget about tasks I need to complete.

For example, if I’m watching TV, I’ll check my list and realize there is an email I could send while sitting there.

It also helps reduce my anxiety before bed and makes me sleep easier knowing that I have a gameplan for tomorrow.

Then, throughout the day, the satisfaction of checking off those tasks is unrivaled.

Plan your meals for the week and do one shop on a weekend. Saves you so much time and effort on week days and makes you much more likely to cook a decent meal rather than go for the short cut of convenience food.

Also drink more water rather than juice/soft drinks/tea/coffee etc.

Honestly, just don't get involved in stupid things that could get you in trouble. It will make your life easier.

ITT: Why don't the blind people just open their eyes? smh

shower, make your bed, iron your clothes., eat breakfast. a good start to the day usually helps.

not isolating yourself and being around people also helps massively in terms of your mood and general happiness

Adopt an attitude of gratitude

Walk

Start giving a shit about what you do no matter how small the task is or who is watching.

Stop smoking. Brush your teeth. Both extend your lifespan.

Run

Brush your teeth, personal experience

Wear Sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists. whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…

Practice breathing through your nose. A few breaths can really help you reenergize and refocus.

Vote Trump 2020

You are still an important person, make sure you are still prioritizing yourself before you prioritize other people.

Eat good and 100 push ups a day. Space em out

Make your bed, if your day was garbage at least you have a nice made bed to sleep in. Also this enforces good habits!

Exercise

Learn basic computer literacy. Not only would that better their life, but it would better my life being that I work in tech support.

Tell someone when something they do bugs you. Don't keep brushing it off because its not a big deal until it forms resentments and they unconsciously think your okay with whatever they do to you. I see myself as passive and not wanting to make someone feel bad for what they do so I either play along or let it go until my resentments literally change me from a kind person to an angry, silent, judgemental person and it's just not worth it. It's scary but don't be afraid to swt boundaries.

say *have a good day * to people more often

If you think your going to get caught for fucking up, fess up it saves everyone's time

Stop watching television.

Eat healthier

Eat more vegetables

Honestly? It really does start by thinking about a better one in a positive way (not “I wish I could”, but “I know I can”). Find the thing or things that give you purpose, and then start mentally thinking at least one positive thought about that. It will get you half the way there.

Smile. It can improve your mood and will brighten others days.

Wireless Mouse

Have some common sense...

Simply smile even if you dont feel like it

Eat healthier, take care of your teeth. You will save money, save on medical bills and feel better.

Practice mindfulness

Take care of your teeth. You only get one set and it can get really expensive to do restorative dental work later in life.

Be healthy, so drink enough water, get enough speel and cut bad unhealthy food.

why does this question make it to the top of the page every week?

Sleep well

Sleep well

Every year I pick out a word and practice it that year. I've done patience, honesty, genuine, open, and this year I'm doing grace. It really makes me change the way I look at things.

Give up Internet and phones for one day a week. Go out and mix without a phone. Seriously, you will notice how much you use it and how you rely on it, even for simple things. It makes you *think* a bit more and appreciate life in the real, as opposed to from a mast

learn how to tie your shoes fast: watch a youtube video, practice 5 mins and profit youre whole life

Stop over eating and drinking alcohol every day. Thats what my grandpa was doing for 10+ years. He died in 2011 (50) because of his habits. His wife is now 64 and looking to make it to 75.

100 pushups, 100 sit-ups 100 squats, and run a 10K... EVERY DAY

clean your room if its messy. i just cleaned my room 2 days ago and my lifestyle has already improved. i feel like such a together person, and im much more tidy now. if you have a messy room and you get stressed out just thinking about it, DO IT

Smile. Even when I'm tired and don't want anything to do with anyone, I still smile at people. When they ask me how I am, I always say "pretty peachy." I almost always get a smile back. Makes me feel good inside.

I've got pretty crippling depression and panic disorder, and this definitely won't work for everyone but the gist of it is find something to do that can calm you. For me I've picked up some gardening that'll work on my apartment patio, and made a simple terrarium that I can maintain and just to have a better appreciation of plants of all kinds.

It won't solve any of my issues, but it's just nice to have something to take care of.

Stop scrolling through your Reddit stream all the time. Also put take breaks from electronics

Drink water

Not asking Reddit about anything.

That thing you're thinking about doing later, do it now. Just do it. Could be a little thing, could a long term thing. Just do it.

Get a good night’s sleep

Exercise! It’s good for your brain! And your body! But certainly, your brain will thank you over and over.

Don't browse r/politics religiously.

Honestly, exercise. It’s a natural release of endorphins. 45 minutes of cardio can work wonders, especially if you have a mental illness.

Try to go outside for a few uninterrupted minutes each day to look at something really far away (i.e., the horizon).

Drink more water.

Keep a clean toilet.

Go on nature walks. And I don't mean your local city park. I mean real nature, the less fucked with by man the better. Go find a nature preserve. Walk amongst the trees. (and I don't mean for bullshit like hunting or other "activities")

The more time you spend in nature the more you'll understand how life really is and less how humans make it out to be. You'll also come to understand how everything is inter-connected and how unintelligent humans are in general. It will give you a much better perspective to live. In fact, most people go their whole lives without really understanding.

Drink more water... or you might die.

Dont go to college. Join a trade, they pay well, and after some years under your belt you can own your own company, and be your own boss. You avoid 100,000 in loans to pay back and can make several thousand dollars a day, no joke. Not going to college sucked for many years, always wanted to go, but it pays off now. All my friends who went to college work for corporate america, and hate it, I make more than they do, and it irritates some of them. Also never been laid off from trade work, and fairly recession proof. People need plumbing, electricity, and hvac, regardless of the economy. I could go on but bo nerd to.

Intermittent fasting!

Some people find it hard, but for me, even as an absolute foodaholic, it's the easiest diet I've done and I have had no problems sticking to it. Fasting for 16 hours a day feels so good! It helps fat loss, muscle building, overall longevity, mental energy and clarity.

If you think you've tried everything but haven't tried intermittent fasting, I challenge you to try it for one week and see how it goes!

Sleep

This sounds cliche, but working out. It’s SO hard to get into the mindset of moving your lazy ass.

I was reading about how much it changed peoples lives on reddit so I forced myself to get off the couch and spend a hour a day running/lifting rather then watch another hour of The Office.

The change in just the last three weeks is amazing. And now I’m watching what I’m eating cuz I ain’t just gonna run my fat ass for nuthin.

Just do it!

Smile

Having an enthusiastic and positive mindset in most situations. Doing this helped me get out of serious depression back in 8th grade.

Delete your Reddit account.

Make your bed every morning. It’s a small task to start your day. The great thing is that even if you have a terrible day you can come back to a nicely made bed.

Getting a decent night sleep, and getting sleep tested for sleep apnea. You will live a much more energetic, less depressing life.

STOP REPOSTING THIS SHIT

Occasionally eat a meal without meat in it.

Exercise

You might be, unconciously, shutting out your friend(s). Sometimes they need that one phone call or message from you more than anything.

At the end of every day sit with yourself and think about the things you did that day, were the productive actions, how they affected others, and why you did theose things. Good or bad actions, a reflection of yourself always helps to better a person's perception of themselves and the effect their actions have.

Buy a reusable bottle and fill it with water when you wake up, get lunch, eat dinner, and lay down. It’s a great way to track water consumption and to ensure you’re drinking enough. You wouldn’t believe how much faster you do things when properly hydrated!

Make your bed every morning. It's a simple little habit that makes a space feel more orderly and calm. I also just love the feeling of pulling back my sheets/comforter and crawling into bed after a long day.

Related to this: putting fresh clean sheets on your bed when you're sick or having a bad day or just struggling with your depression. I think this should be up there on the list of Self-Care tactics. The feeling of clean sheets can't be beat.

Look at other peoples perspectives, not just yours. A lot of problems, arguments, or conflicts can be solved by looking at both perspectives and being willing to admit you're sometimes wrong.

​

if you don't know the other persons perspective, assuming they are a rational person, have an open, honest talk.

Read a book. You might not like books, but they are a path to a new world. It’s basically YouTube except just text.

Get a lamp for reading at night. Immediately made my eyes better. I used to have absolutely horrible eyes from reading with a tiny flashlight. I still have glasses, but my eyes don’t hurt anymore.

Pray

Sweat every day.

Brother needs to fix his anger as he can’t really control it. He rarely gets angry but when he does he just goes ballistic when you make him mad. My parents don’t do anything about it so I have just learned to deal with it.

Gym once twice e a week

Try their best to have a positive mindset, it has helped in ways i can't describe

Be kind. Do an act of kindness at least once a day.

Work hard to control as many variables in your life as you can.

Being a decent person.

Look up at the stars. Or even better, lay on the ground at night and just watch the night sky for an hour or so. You'll see plenty of amazing things. Its relaxing, like a type if meditation, and its absolutely free.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/a72nr4/whats_something_small_you_can_start_doing_today/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

Yeah, reposts are pretty common on r/askreddit so it doesn’t matter that much, just pointing it out.

Own your mistakes.

Exercise!!

Best thing I ever did that literally changed my life:

Stop caring what other people think.

Changes everything.

https://youtu.be/jKF3H-qdmWU

Listen.

Eat a plant based diet, not saying quit meat. You csn do it if you want but just by making vegetables, fruits and grains the base of your diet will improve health, mood, sex life etc...

Stay off reddit

If you have acne that you just can’t get off your body, go see a doctor/dermatologist. Don’t wait too long or it’ll scar up. I have to live with an acne scarred face but I rarely have acne problems anymore!

Being present to yourself. Meaning stop and observe your thoughts. 🧘‍♀️

Relaxing,people tend to overextend when it comes to relaxing, just do something you like and let it go,let your mind roam free,sleep do whatever aslong as you just relax

Work out.

Sleep, Eat, Sleep, Eat KFC at McDonalds

Be a good person

I would say making their bed in the morning after they get up. This is for those people that spend most of their days kind of... Floating through life, not really ever being pushed to excel at what they do.

If you just do that simple task in the morning, it’ll kickstart your entire day. You’ll want to make breakfast, clean up the house, leave early for work, etc.

In my experience it improved my quality of living immensely.

Start talking yourself up in the mirror every morning. Even just a simple you've got this"

Wake up earlier

Learn to live day by day and not stress about things that haven't happened yet.

Sleep. I know it may seem hard, but get into bed at 9:30 with NO devices and you’ll feel alive. Stop drinking caffeine as well. That makes you feel awake in the morning, but it also has lasting affects on your sleep and health.

Staying hydrated

Meditating

Have a creative hobby, like writing or music.

first thing to do when u wake up is make up your bed.

​

don't go to washroom. don't go wash ur face. don't eat breakfast or dress up or ANYTHING.

​

just fold the blanket, tidy up the pillow, takes less than 30 sec. then you'll start your day feeling more "accomplished".

Spend quality time with your loved ones, especially Grandparents and Parents when they get older.

​

You will cherish those moments and memories much more than a photograph or video, when they are gone.

Look up and spend real quality time with those you love

Be rich.

Not stemming this from NoFap, but stop masturbating. It can become an addiction, it makes you view women in a very over sexualized way, and it really takes out the joy in your life, because the only euphoria you can typically find is masturbation. When you stop this, you’ll have a cleaner and more open view on life. You won’t be a horny freak all the time and you’ll hopefully be more optimistic. And you’ll have more ways to find pleasure, or create a different euphoria.

Sleeping at nights instead of looking at reddit

Skin care. I dropped off for a bit lately because I’m feeling a bit depressed. Sunscreen my friend.

Breathe. I actually breathe in a wrong way.

Take walks more often if you work a sitting job. Makes me feel so much better.

Drink more water

Drink more water

Might be kinda cheesy but loving yourself can make your life so much better, in almost every aspect of it.

Save £1 a day.

Self-reflect and change when necessary

Stop drinking and smoking start running and exercising. If you're younger than 30 start now.please.

Track your expenses and see what you can do to save money. When you see where your money goes it is easier to save. You can also find ways to simply make what you do cheaper with no change to your habits. Shopping at thrift stores and used stores can save a small fortune. Also for the love of god, if you must smoke cigarettes, roll your own. You can spend as little as $1-$1.50 per pack.

Drink more water. Carry around a bottle or flask or canteen or jug or something filled with water and drink it instead of eating junk food or drinking soda. It may not taste as good as soda or chips but it will use the same part of your brain that makes you want to constantly be eating or drinking something and is great for gaming.

Drink more water.

drink more water

Think about what makes you the happiest, and apply that to selecting a career.

Vaccinated your children. They will thank you later on.

Listen to people when they are speaking. Really listen. Don't let your mind wander or think of what you are going to say next immediately after they are finished, and don't interject, don't interrupt. Take a few seconds to let what the person speaking to you has to say and let it soak in.

"Guilt is like a bag of fucking bricks. All you gotta do is set it down."

just be nice tbh. stop being a douche, it doesn’t make you cool.

Pay more attention on the road.

Even if you’re not big on personal hygiene and maintenance, using a moisturizer with SPF daily will do wonders for your skin in the long run. Look good, feel good?

Reduce procrastination and temptation, it’ll take you places.

To acquire education and skills

Buy themselves flowers every now and then.

Regulate your sleep schedule

Drink more water and eat properly. It's surprising how much that affects how you feel.

Drink more water

Name one thing you said you'd do tomorrow. Do it today.

Use their heads, people are helpless nowadays, even simple questions whose response is seconds of thought away are impossible riddles.

Drink more water

Drink more water than anything else you drink.

Drink a cup of water when you wake up, before lunch/dinner and before bed.

Your body will thank you.

Watch Marie Kondo and take her advice.

Create a routine around goals/objectives you've written down and actively seek wellness.

Wake up early

Make a tinder account.

Limit their time on social media.

Contribute to a 401k, or Roth IRA if 401k not offered by your employer.

Floss. Your gums will thank me later.

Making lists about what you have to do for everyday and throwing them away or destroying them.

Or just something that involves making a to-do list.

In January, I decided that I wanted to be a more organized person, so I bought a really big piece of cardboard and made a calendar and some lists (like what I had to do that day, things for tomorrow, for the weekend and future stuff) and sticked them to this cardboard. I also bought some whiteboard pens, and everyday I write stuff with them on that cardboard.

It really helped me, with everything, but mostly about not forgetting stuff anymore. I think its something that everyone should do ♡ Edit: At the begging I say "lists for destroying them" because I use post-it's to write down my homework and when I finish them, I throw the post-it in the garbage. It's really satisfying.

Be happy.

Super simple idea is to work on keeping good posture. Prevents a lot of minor aches and pains.

Smile, it's maybe stupid or funny, but listen. If you smile more you'll have a happier life, which is partly better too. And it's free.

Stop playing FIFA 19

Never let your manager hear about that you made a mistake/had a bad interaction from someone else. Can’t tell you how much this one simple thing has improved my rep at work and strengthened my relationship with my bosses.

Speak English.

1) Be a Citizen of a country that has oil or other resources

2) Wait for a Cold War or other major geopolitical rivalry so that when your soon-to-be-patrons decide to bring their "peculiar institution" of "freedom" to your country, you are positioned to act as middle-man.

3) Wait for the USA-backed Apple-pie Jihadi to overthrow the government.

4) Declare yourself the "Interim President" (It helps if you meet with some of those Spooky People in Virginia... after so that they can have their vets check your out, or they can give you a corvette. or something.)

5) ????

6) Profit.

This is a tried and true formula

Still waiting for a non-obvious tip

Not worry what people thing about you.

Be willing to be out there. People can easily find friendships and love if they just act on their feelings. I have friends that come to me to ask about their crushes when they rarely talk. I keep telling them to go for it and take a risk and they end up losing that person.

  1. Stop bothering with hints (Really if person can't tell it to your face, it's their problem not yours, you're not responsible for consequences if you weren't informed about them)
  2. Be honest (Really transparency and honesty, makes life a lot easier, now I'm not saying you've to tell everyone everything. Not saying something isn't lying but intentional misinformation and making simple stuff unclear only adds headache down the line)
  3. When in a conflict even if your blood is boiling try to stay calm, show no emotions and even less no aggression. And if person was complete ass to you and you hate their guts treat them with neutrality but always remember what they did. You acting as if nothing happened will most of the time quietly eat away at them and intimidate them.
  4. Find your true friends, those 20+ people you are having fun with regularly aren't your friends. Your friend is the one who will rip you out of deepest of shits even if it will have impact on them.
  5. Always have a hobby or activity you're interested in, it develops skills and skills bring money.
  6. If you're struggling with jobs due to being fresh in the field or lacking experience, take an internship you don't have to mention it being internship on your CV as you're still working aren't you?

Exercise daily

Take care of your teeth. Brush and floss. They are vital to your health and you only get one true set.

Drink Water!!! Never realized that I spent so much of my life dehydrated it’s no wonder I had constant migraines.

Don't be an asshole. Treat others like you want to be treated.

This fixes most of the world's issues in one easy step.

Time management!

If it's not worth waking up early for, it's not worth staying up late for.

Volunteer a few hours once a week, for an organization you support, it will make you feel good about yourself, you will lean new skills and meet amazing people and it's good for networking. I volunteer a few hours a week delivering food to seniors and helping in the office with fundraising and media stuff I love it so much and its helped me learn so many new skills without the pressure a job has.

Stop playing Fortnite

Make something out of your day. It is your moment right now to stoke yourself.

For me, I think of my dog. The simple math is 1 human year = 7 dog years. So, 1 day in my life is equal to 1 week of my dog’s life.

That makes me not want to waste the next moment on the past, even if we are just spending it sitting in the park.

Do simple things to better the lives of those around them.

Getting common sense

Preface any conjecture with 'it seems to me that' or something similar rather than simply asserting it "X is Y".

Remove all arguments from your life.

Vasectomy at an early age. DINK!

Sit and look at things, then think. I have found that it is very cleansing to go on a walk to a place I've never been before and sit down and observe the environment. Most people will get frustrated with this and give up.

I will often pick a thing either in my house or outside and ask how it got there. For example, my home has a fence around the yard and I will look and think. I wonder how it got there and who built it. I wonder why it has chicken wire over it. Why not just build a solid picket fence? Did they want to see through? Did they have a dog? Are there any clues in my house to suggest a dog was here? I wonder.

I see a dragonfly buzz by my garden wall. I wonder where he's going?

I see a parking lot full of cars, all of which have a person who owns it. All of these people gathered in one place before me and I will never know them all. All these people with lives to live that can pull out of their spot in a moment and leave no proof they were there.

I think somewhere on this Earth there's a red pine tree standing totally still and nothing is there to know it. Not animals nor people know of this tree and that's nice to think about. There's a certain catharsis in being pensive about things which are inconsequential and it's kinda like meditation. Finding a serene place in everyday environments is a neat way to keep your head clear. But that's just my hippie bullshit opinion.

Wear sunscreen

Suck it and move forward

SLEEP SCHEDULE!!!!!

I have been sleeping a consistent 6 hours since the beginning of 2019 and the consistency entirely makes up for the few hours (recommended is 8) has helped me get so much done

Run at least a mile every day I started running a mile everyday about a month an a half ago only missed 1 day so far I feel great and look even better it's helps me get my day started right

Delete Facebook. (Not being sarcastic) Facebook is like the plague and it’s very depressing. I didn’t realize how draining it was until I deleted it

Delete social media off your phone for 7 days. You will see how little you actually need it AND you will have a few extra hours a day to pursue whatever productive thing you've been meaning to do

Make time to be still, quiet and outdoors. Away from modern stimulation.

Clean yourself. I was struggling with depression for a long time, but I found that the simple act of showering and washing my face every day really changed my mood.

Breath

Do something good for yourself or someone else, you would feel much better about yourself.

use Linux instead of Windows

But... Games...

I work behind a bar so there can be some really rude people that I have to serve. But I do still enjoy my job because there's also those few that can be really nice and say please and thank you and when I don't look like I'm to happy ask how I am. Something as simple as asking "how you doing?" Can make my day go so good and sometimes even make a new friend!

Live

It’ll sound so basic, but just take time to chill, breathe and relax, properly. With music, friends or just putting a pause on everything

Do something good for yourself or someone else, you would feel much better about yourself.

Watch this when someone is going to make a youtube video about it.

Stop drinking.

Experiences are so much more valuable than more stuff. Get out and explore the world. Additionally save for the future but balance that with living your life in the present. Extremes are never good.

Literally take five minutes out of your day to stop everything and focus on your breathing. It can help relieve even a little bit of stress from your daily struggles. Really great start to practicing self care for those out there who don't think they have time in their day to themselves.

Drink water

Always remember what you owe and forget what you're owed (obviously within reason). My granddad taught me this - small things make a big difference and people remember it.

way late here but for me, I know it sounds kind of lame but when your significant other does nice give them a hug and a kiss. Even if it's just doing the dishes, simply walk into the kitchen, hug them and then kiss them and say thanks for doing the dishes. It really is a great way to improve not only yours but your significant others mental health leaving you both much happier.

Drink more water and less soda/coffee/alcoholic drinks.

Work out and eat better food

drink lots of water and always tell the truth...

Pay your debts off before interest kicks in.

at the end of the day, dwell on everything, go over it in your head again. people only retain 20% of information in a day or something like that.... this should help increase it, as well as maybe have revelations about your day.... wait the second set of feet i saw in the bathroom stall weren't women shoes! lol.

Say thanks, please and think of other people, not just yourself. It doesn’t cost anything and I find it brings good returns.

Do things for other people because it makes THEM feel better, not because it makes you feel good.

That will come from making others happy.

Vote Republican

Cognitive behavioral therapy. Easy to do by yourself and can save your life :)

Put time into cultivating your tribe of people. Create community. Drink water.

Go to bed early, and wake up early. Huge difference. Included in that is never snooze your alarm. Be decisive and do what you intend to do.

Well short term would probably be killing someone

Drink more water it saves money, makes you healthier and doesn't drill holes in your teeth

Take supplements and read books or listen to books

Love thy self. Forgive yourself for regrets you cannot fix. Realize that you're only human, everyone makes mistakes, you must learn from them and move forward and not dwell and hold on to the things that you feel make you less of a good person. If you can love yourself life will be a totally different thing.

Cancel your cable.

Don't worry about people who disagree with your politics.

Clean your room.

One thing I found has made me happier about life is to never want to stop learning. Make an effort to learn something new all the time. Like when i don’t know how to do something, i don’t just have someone do it for me, I asked them to show me how to do it. I used to be suicidal but I decided to make it my life’s mission to learn as much stuff as I possibly can while I’m alive. It creates a life long challenge.

It’s a good feeling too when people often come to you because they don’t know something.

Not be an asshole

Remember that it’s okay to not feel good about yourself, that it’s okay to be sad and feel unhappy. You don’t have to be at the top of your game 100% of the time. You are a human, not a robot. You got this :)

hygiene, regulary shower/bathe

Stop people procrastinating. Just do it already, then you can stop thinking about it and start basking in the fact that you achieved something.

Also, make your damn bed every morning. Seriously, it's just a matter of pulling up the sheets and straightening them. It's not that tough, and it's so much nicer getting into a made bed at bedtime.

Work out

Eat less meat.

Drink water, because it's good for you!

Stop saying "just". The word boils down to undermining anything it's used with. When you remove the word it makes things seem more important.

I'll have one more drink, thanks. Slow down there you've drank a lot. It's just one more.

In that example it's taking away from the effect something can have.

Surround yourself with positive people.

WORKING OUT

TREATING OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED

Tipping your servers

Get off reddit.

Talk less, smile more.

You are the worst, Burr!

Buy a calendar

Wake up early enough to sit down and eat breakfast. It’s not so much the breakfast as it is having some time before work to call your own. It makes works seem like a part of your day and not your whole day.

Learn to embrace the suck and understand that good things are bound to happen but to those that take matters into their own hands and not wait for it to just happen. If God wanted things a certain way he would have miracled it to happen that way but that isn't the case you have to miracle it yourself. You can shit in one hand and hope in the other and all that hope still won't amount to shit

Stop watching porn

Pcp

Diction costs you nothing. If I have to struggle to understand you (and English is your native language), I am not going to be able to properly listen to and consider what it is you're telling me. So speak up, speak clearly, and make an effort at effective communication.

(I understand that some people are physically unable to articulate certain sounds or else have another problem that prevents them from speaking clearly. I'm not talking to those people; they are already putting in effort. I'm talking about people that could speak clearly but, for one reason or another, get lazy with it. And for goodness' sake, if you're wearing a grill and the person you're speaking to can't understand you, take it out. Worked retail in the South for a bit, so that may be a niche request.)

Engage with things on a daily basis. Negotiate with yourself about the thing you are avoiding. When I was studying to get my cpim I would sometimes not want to open the book sometimes I would feel unmotivated in those times I would say to myself "open the book and read for 5 minutes." Most times 5 minutes would turn into an hour sometimes longer other times I would only get through 4 minutes. But I never ignored it long enough to where it became something insurmountable every tough day that I did that made the next tough day more trivial. Got a stack of bills you've been avoiding? Pick one up every day and read it and spend 2 minutes deciding what you should do about it. You may find the pile shrinks because it wasn't as insurmountable as you had initially believed. As humans we're capable of so much more than even we believe. We just have to chip away at it.

Push yourself!

Watch some good movies

Nike's phrase... "Just do it." Clothes on the ground? Just put them away. Need to improve savings? Just setup auto draft for a couple bucks a month. Have a thing to fix on the house? Just go to the store, buy what you need, and knock it out.

I manage to do a lot of stuff and my friends and family always ask how I manage to do it all. I literally just do it. It's so simple and I don't understand why people let shit pile up to where it gets overwhelming. Just do it!

crippling anxiety? just feel better

I'd say just schedule that appointment already. If you have, then just force yourself along those next steps that your medical professional recommends. Life isn't easy. I've had some really tough shit happen in my life I had to power through.

Specify

brush their teeth. jesus...

Be kind to themselves.

Exercise daily

Right be honest and enjoy it.

Drink more water. Drink less sugary drinks

Get off Reddit and read a book?

Keep promises to yourself. Especially tiny ones. Did you say you’d finish that book tomorrow? Did you say you’d stay off your phone in the mornings? Every time you break a promise to yourself your confidence, self esteem and self trust goes down. Self-betrayal goes up and this leads to feelings of guilt, indecision (because you don’t trust yourself you don’t trust your choices,) and feeling lost. Keeping promises to yourself helps build confidence, which builds happiness and personal power. Also helps you to keep promises to others (if you can’t keep your word to yourself how can you do it for others?) and keeping promises to others makes you a better person, friend, family member etc.

Take a walk in the woods and enjoy nature

Learn how to say "no".

Think of the positive instead of the negative.

Think of things from others perspective before you get angry.

https://youtu.be/ysc4p0kEd0E listen to that amazing track whenever you need to get work done or need to calm yourself done and de stress anize

ITT: Jordan B Peterson's Book "12 Rules For Life: An Antidote To Chaos"

The rules may not always seem like they make sense without reading the book, but most are self explanatory.

  1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
  2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
  3. Make friends with people who want the best for you
  4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
  5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
  6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
  7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
  8. Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie
  9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't
  10. Be precise in your speech
  11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding
  12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street

just shower more often honestly

Do 5 pushups a day. Once that starts getting too easy, do 10. Keep increasing until it becomes too long to do all the pushups. When you get to that level, decrease the number of pushups you do but do them on an incline (with your feet being raised higher).

Point out things you love when you see them. Improves my day tenfold to say DOG!!! when I see one!!!

Do a better job wiping.

Drink water. The recommended 64oz is for people at a healthy body weight. For every 25 lbs you are overweight you are supposed to add another 8oz. If you don’t drink enough, you’re going to retain water as your body thinks you don’t have access to water and need to conserve.

Stop procrastinating, its just less stressful

Sleep.

Watch the office

Care for others. Don't know how but it works.

Delete Facebook.

Pour milk on it?

Make your bed. Every. Single. Morning.

Drink more water.

Die.

Drink water. It's such a small, small simple thing that can impact so much. I was making coffee to take with me to work every morning, refilling it there once I was finished, then getting a coffee drink with espresso in it just to make it through a work shift. I was tired ALL the time. Going to bed at eight thirty or nine each evening and still not having enough energy to do an entire day. I slept every minute I was at home, and kept drinking coffee, soda, anything with caffeine to keep me moving, but it barely felt like enough. I was grouchy from always being tired, I couldn't concentrate, always bloated and my skin was breaking out so badly. I started taking water to work instead of coffee, and have since gradually upped my intake so that water is 90% of my beverages during the day. I have tons more energy and a better appetite, I'm easier to be around and am not only concentrating better, but actually having creative ideas AND having the energy to act on them. I know this is really corny and you hear all the time "just drink water!" But really, your body will reward you so much. Start with a small positive step like that and get the self-improvement wheels in motion.

Make a habit of cleaning your room every day. You'd be surprised how motivating doing this one thing can be. It can improve your life so much.

Self awareness. Overcome your protagonist bias; you aren’t the main character in the game of life. Stepping out of your perception of us vs them and observing life as if you were an alien can b e beneficial.

Getting some houseplants.

Literally try not to analyze every single reason why someone is upset and try to fix it if they didn’t ask. Just give them a hug or space and a little pep talk.

Go through nihilism and study it's base, it will make you see the world as it is and embrace the life you have

Clean. Just a little.

Your space (Home, work, car, whatever) does not need to be spotless. But if you can clean just a little bit of it at a time. (throw a soda can away when you get up from your desk, buy a trash bag for your car) you will be amazed at the difference even small things can make.

Walk everyday.

Moderate and the occasional high-intensity exercise is also good as well, especially for the purpose of weight loss.

Go to therapy

Put the cap on the market more.

Get good friends

Do any form of regular exercise and being clean conscious about food

They can shove a stick up their hole

Write things down...with your hand, using a pen, into to paper.

Ask for simple things someone could do to better their life, and use the given suggestions.

Use a damn turn signal. It'll better your life and others.

Also lowers risk of traffic incidents.

Listen to Phish

Read fiction

Learn to cook. I just started to cook and it makes a huge difference. I love to learn my way around the kitchen

Stop for few minute every day.

Take 24 hour breaks between every rabbit you torture/kill.

...why such a time period?

Worried about running out of rabbits?

It's just healthy not to torture rabbits all the time. I used to torture 6 or 7 a day but now its down to 1.

Be thankful. Happiness will come.

Vaccination.

While simple, it does require a lack of fear of needles.

True, I can remember when I got vaccinated I cried for like a whole day

Well, I got vaccinated as a kid, and that was a mess.

Even now, the cringe is strong with needles.

Drink more water

Drinking water is immediate to act on, and helps a lot.

I agree.

Probably 3 of the best things you can do that will better your life are:

  1. Working out. Doesn’t even HAVE to be at the gym. Any physical activity everyday can get your body right and healthy.

  2. Goes well with number 1, eating healthy. Fruits and veggies are the key to great energy.

  3. Reading. The key to knowledge! Start with what interests you and you’ll slowly branch out to so many other things!

I’d say these three things better your life mentally and physically.

Smoke crack.

Dont be an asshole

Positive attitude

Smile once in awhile 😊

Practice loving kindness.

“Everyone you meet is going through a battle you know nothing about. Be kind, always.”

I wish I knew who originally said that.

Wear Sunscreen

Drink more water

Probably post/browse on Reddit less.

Stop watching the news.

Quit drinking alcohol.

When you make a promise to yourself, keep it. How are people supposed to trust you if you can't trust yourself

Remove the toxic people from your life that just hold you back and start surrounding yourself with positive people that lift you up.

Oh fuck off, we get this question every week

Meditate and become more mindful of your environment

Go volunteer and help those who aren’t as fortunate as you. You get a good feeling from helping others, and it gets you out of the house to meet new people. And the organisation you volunteer for will really appreciate the help.

It doesn’t cost anything and it can make a huge difference to the lives of others and even improve your mental wellbeing.

Cool for yourself. There is no greater joy than preparing a meal for oneself or others to enjoy. Turn off your devices and enjoy the moment and the joy of making something to nourish and delight.

Jiu Jitsu

I dunno…

Jiu Jitsu ain't simple.

True. I wanted to say something besides. “Make your bed everyday”

Make saving money automatic.

[deleted]

I want to get so good at meditation, I become Dhalsim from Street Fighter

  • Sports
  • Stopping to smoking weed (especially helps your wallet)
  • And subscribing to Pewdiepie

Lift weights, especially for males. There’s nothing better than having people admire you when your wearing a t shirt. Also mix in cardio and your health will thank you for it

Hmm...what is the proper amount of muscle that makes others admire your physique, without fear that people consider you "too big"?

You can’t get too big naturally lol. But to answer your question, 90% of the male population doesn’t lift, so anything to make u stand out will get people to admire you

Sounds like a plan, then.

Get swole...naturally.

Make a list of things you need to do. As a student, i know life can be chaotic and you feel like everything comes at you at once, but if you make a list of things you need to do, the day ahead doesn’t seem as daunting.

Today my list was:

-Speech @ 9:30 am -Class @ 12;15 -Write essay -Turn in test -Feed & brush cat -Movie notes

It doesn’t seem like that much if you put it in such simple terms

Edit: dashes to not confuse people bc reddit didn’t register me pressing the return button after each item

Wait...your cat's name is "Movie notes"?

LOL my spaces didn’t upload! No, his name is morley and he is the cutest cat ever

Oh man, that sounds like a cat I'd like to see.

I should upload a pic of him. He also always looks like wants to murder everyone

Edit: i uploaded w picture onto r/catpics

Don’t be a dick!

Instructions unclear.

Use mouthwash

This one's a bit unconventional and I have yet to hear of anyone else try it, but it has really helped me improve and become more like the person that I want to be.

Ask people what they think about you.

It's as simple as that. Ask different people if they would be willing to answer some questions to help you become a better you. Most people will say yes and many might actually think better of you for it. Some questions that I like to ask are:

  • What do you like most about me? (It's usually good to start with a positive one so that people don't feel bad and give you more honest answers)
  • What do you dislike about me? (I like to stress that it can be a personal dislike such as "I don't like how you always wear dark colors")
  • How would you describe me?
  • What were your first impressions about me?
  • More specific questions like "How am I as a friend/roommate/partner?"

Most people don't have a very good sense of what they are like from someone else's perspective and can come across differently than they intend to because of it. This is a great opportunity to get information on what you are like. You don't have to change anything because of the answers to these questions. But maybe you can learn something from it that you want to change. If someone says they dislike how you never smile but you never realized that you never smiled BOOM new easy thing to do (assuming you want to). Make sure not to take the answers to these questions personally. People are doing you a service by answering them and it's for your benefit and knowledge. If someone says something good or bad about you that you didn't realize, talk about it and try to reach an understanding about it if possible. Why do you think I'm a nice/mean/stubborn person? Eventually you can find the root and change it if you want to.

I have done this since high school about once a year choosing 10 or so randomish people every time. To get different perspectives I ask people I do and don't get along with that I know in addition to people that I just met. I combine this information with an image of a "better self" and try to find what I can change to be closer to that better self that I want to work towards. It's a gradual and casual process for me in an attempt to always be improving in one way or another as well as hold on to the aspects that I like most about myself.

This exact way of going about this may not work for everyone, but I hope it can help some and people can try their own version of it themselves. I'd love to hear if other people do similar things and how it works as I don't know of anyone else that does this except maybe with their SO.

Eat one salad a day

Take cold showers, trust me. Its not that nice in the beggining, but once you get over that first flinch, its wonderful. This is simple but cold showers are something you can do to improve mood, and even health because cold showers help improve fat loss.

Live to your means, don't get yourself into debt. If you can't afford something then go without til you can afford it. Don't brag about what you've got to others that might not have as much. Above all, have something self respect. Treat people with respect and you will get it back.

Go to therapy!

Be positive

cold showers

Volunteer

Accept a person for who they are

Don't skimp on the Little Things. This applies in so many areas of your life! Work, friendships (when a friend's fav team wins a big game, send a congratulatory e-card, etc.), just go the extra mile ~ and for yourself as well. Take an extra 5 min of every day to * truly appreciate* something you have that makes you smile, even if it's a postcard of a tropical island or a place you want to visit... Every Single Day!

Do something creative. Honestly as a 27 year old year bloke I have found a real love in creating various cupcakes for me and my son

Going to bed at a reasonable time and waking up early.

Don’t post on reddit

Smile

it is that simple

Just visit them once in a while and make sure that they know they are not alone, all tho idk, i never expirienced it

Nofap

Drink more water and invest in a water bottle to help you do so

Smile

Every time you see someone, no matter who it is, think to yourself: "That person is important and deserves to be happy".

masturbate

Breathing exercises

Breathe properly. We often don't breathe consistently so tell yourself to breathe properly.

Exercise.

This doesn’t mean you have to be a gym bro or a CrossFit nut. It doesn’t mean you need to run a 5K or train for a triathlon.

Just get a little sweat and raise that heart rate a few times per week. A brisk walk or light jog, 20 minutes of calisthenics, shoot some hoops, throw a frisbee, grab a couple of resistance bands, etc.

You’ll be amazed at how refreshed you feel if you commit to a little activity every few days.

Ignore/Get Rid Of the negative people in their life.

Be nice.

Get a good night's sleep

Budget the hell out of life.

​

I am 20 and i'm lucky to live with my parent rent free at the time as i'm finishing uni. In France you can have governemental help if you're going through uni, they give me 100 euros a month. I put 50 in budgeting and the other 50 becomes my pocket money for the month (i don't have any from parent obviously since we need governmental help) + I work in the summer for 2 months and put at least half of my pay to budgeting (1200 euros for 2 months of work).

So 600 (50x12) + 1200 i save 1800 per year. It's nothing for people having jobs but for me it's a lot, i have payed my driver licence and a trip to Japan in the past 2 years. Won't lie it's kind of frugal during the month as i have to pay my lunch at uni and stuff with my 50 but it is so very worth it at the end :)

Give up addictions, whether it's cigarettes, booze, drugs, or the daily expensive and calorie laden coffee drink. Without those distractions and expenses, you can accomplish so much more and have more money to have better experiences.

Get off Reddit

Shower at least once a day. Also, use deodorant, and wear clean clothes.

​

Feeling fresh and clean greatly improves your mood, and people will notice.

Drink water

think more positively.

Start working out

Sleep 8 hours a night.

Stop drinking. Stop drinking soda. Wash your hands. Use your blinkers. Don't use your phone while driving.

Learning to take criticism

Stay true to your word even in the littlest ways. If you tell someone you’re going to text them later, text them later. If you tell yourself you’re going to go to the gym tomorrow, go to the gym. Slowly but surely this self accountability and integrity is something that builds and a lot of Little day to day stresses disappear.

10-15 min walk outside after dinner every day.

Be more authentic. If you feel weak and confused about your identity then start saying and thinking things that make you feel stronger. That’s how you know you’re being authentic, when the things you say and the way you say it makes you feel stronger. Too much energy is being wasted when you’re trying to fit in.

Be and raise our children to be humanely mindful and the whole of the world's existence will be an easier one.

breathe deep

Yoga on YouTube in ur living room

Don’t go on: Facebook, Reddit, Twitter.
You’re welcome

I’m 3p and started taking glucosamine and stopped drinking this whole month. It’s hard but I want to feel better. So yeah there’s that. Mental and physical health..

Don’t hold on to grudges. Every time you see someone, it’s in your power to move on and make amends just by being kind. Who knows, you might make a friend

smile and wave

Sort out their house make sure you know what you need before you leave don't get mad at your coworker Steve you keep taking your sticky notes without telling you and keeps breaking your pencil by accident without telling you

Simple but not easy: go straight into disturbance and suffering.

When you do the counterintuitive, counter instinctual practice of going into disturbance, rather than avoiding, freezing or collapsing, something amazing happens: it loses its power over you. The annihilatory panic dissipates. The anxiety starts to dissolve. Incrementally, slowly, you re-train your old patterns of behavior (which as a child were important for survival, now as an adult are detrimental) to those that employ your strong, healthy, adult capacities.

In short, you commit to engaging with what's real in the moment, and stop abandoning yourself.

Being a confused person myself, this practice is helping me to level up in my life in a huge way!

Sit in the sunshine

Just trying to go into every day with a more positive mindset has REALLY helped me have s lot of better days recently.

Get up early in the morning. As someone who has lived life as a self-proclaimed “night owl” for the better part of a decade, today was the first day I got up before the sunrise and lived to tell the tale. There’s something about all that serotonin that just makes your day feel great no matter how menial it is. Can’t figure it out for the life of me. /s

Make a list of things to do when you're bored. I spent 2 hours sitting on my computer just staring at "How to make a..." not finding anything.

Wake up 10 minutes earlier. 10 minutes doesnt really make or break your sleep schedule but if you dont rush in the morning or speed to work your day starts more pleasurable instead of stressed

Do no nut November all year

Smile it makes yourself and the people around you feel better

Shower regularly. Good hygiene makes you more attractive and hot showers relieve stress. Self care can take you very far, even if you cover only the basics.

Exercise

Drink more water.

Drinking more water is such an obvious one, but seriously drink more water. As someone who has OCD (the germophobe kind) I never drank anything ever because I have a fear of public restrooms. I now have 4 or 5 kidney stones (small ones but still) in both kidneys because of it. I'm 24. I've now had to change my whole life to accommodate drinking water. Just get yourself in the habit now and you'll be better for it later.

Tl;dr: drink water if not for you, for your kidneys.

Putting the toilet seats up before using male toilets

Go on a walk everyday! You can explore different areas of where you live, and enjoy some fresh air!

Make your bed in the morning

Go on life pro tips

  1. Declutter AND create systems for where everything belongs. We call it the "salsa bowl technique". I used to not have a system in place for what to do at the end of each work day with things like - keys, wallet, ear buds etc. My husband took an old salsa container and put it in the kitchen and thats where it all went. Fast forward like 3 years I've applied the technique to all areas of my life and the hassle reduction is amazing.
  2. 1 minute rule - if you can do it in less than a minute, do it right then and there. Putting away clothing, hanging up a coat, load a dish in the dishwasher. Its amazing how much the tasks add up AND you feel great bc you're accomplishing something.
  3. Prioritize sleep. Strive for 8 hours, don't stay up late doing mindless things like reddit.
  4. Try to get your greens - even in powder form, it will help with digestion and metabolism.
  5. Exercise - even a 10 minute walk everyday will have an impact on cravings/stress/sleep

Go for a 20 minute walk during your lunch hours

You'll be amazed

Meditate, workout, No Fap, Cold showers...

Keep hydrated. Drink more water

Not sure if someone has mentioned this already and I’m sure they have but working out can absolutely improve your life.

Smile. Even when you are alone.

Start walking. Anywhere under a mile does not need a car. No tech either. Just look at the world, it's great!

Read actual books. The average American adult reads 1 book a year. I read 100% more than the average American last year (that’s 2 books). That’s depressing.

Go to the gym. Besides making you less obese it’s such an amazing stress reliever and literally reduces depression and anxiety. If you can’t make it to a gym walk or run outside. Human beings aren’t meant to be morbidly obese as we see in america primarily.

Take a walk a couple times a week, if you don’t have time every day. Take a loved one or a pet with you. Getting some extra sunlight, exercise, and alone time can do wonders for some people.

Doesn’t have to be a long walk either. Even just 10 minutes around the block.

Get a dog.

Drink water. My father always said this whenever I wasn’t feeling well and I always thought that was the stupidest thing. With time I realized it’s actually great advice that we all take for granted.

Wait for Super mario maker 2, buy it immediately once it comes out, play it for a very long amount of time, trust me your life will be so much better and you will be the most entertained once you do so... Just dont stay up too long playing, it may be bad for your health..

Realize women are merely holes to be won. Treat them like the scum they are and use them for the only thing they are good for, then discard them like yesterday's trash and find your next victim.

My Mantra is "gratefulness is happiness". Think of the things you do have and not of the things you don't

Go for a walk.

Give yourself time to worry and be anxious about things every day, and try to limit your ruminations and anxieties to this specific time. If you find yourself worrying throughout the day, remind yourself that you will have time to think about these things later. I learned this in therapy for anxiety but I think it can be beneficial to anybody.

Drink water. Simpmr enough right? After being caught up in feelings and depression I was extremely dehydrated and eating junk food and soda. So I decided to turn my life around and be happy. So I got a psychiatrist, and she told me to drink water. I thought why would that help?? But I took her advice and drank about 40 oz of water a day. Which to me today is nothing, but it helped me think straight. Around this time I had also decided to quit eating junk food and soda entirely instead of just saying I was going to. I went through a "withdrawal" of sorts and was hungry a lot. So instead of eating, I just drank more water and was so much happier. I found myself doing better in school concentration wise, and in my social life, because I was no longer depressed and dehydrated. I'm up to 210 oz of water a day. Best thing I've ever done.

Before you buy something ask yourself if you need this to survive, if it will save you significant time, or if it is a luxury. We all need to survive. Very few times in life can you ‘buy’ time. But most other things we buy are actually luxuries and take away from building stability and/or wealth.

Always carry a smile on your face

Ice cream

Smile

Lift weights.

Saying your problems out loud, sometimes it doesn't sound as bad as in your head. And if it does then talk to someone about it. Talking in general whether to yourself or to others, as silly as it sounds helps bring out a calming sense that we are capable.

When times are rough, try to picture how your life will be when you turn 60. So many things seem permanent, but very rarely are they ever. Most choices you make now are going to turn into one of two things in 10 years. Something you forget about or something you reminisce about.

Radical honesty..... Can you imagine what life would be like?

sleep enough and preferably start sleeping at the right time

Fap

Take your medications. If the side effects are an issue talk to your doctor, there are often solutions (even if it means more medication). Be honest with your doc if you decide not to take your medications, that can impact more than you realize from a health care professional stand point.

Get an "it is what it is" attitude. The amount of bullshit that has disappeared from my life is astonishing.

Make your bed as soon as you get out of it in the morning. I have always felt that my room looks instantly cleaner with a made bed, which in turn motivates me to keep the rest clean. It acts like a domino effect

Talk to your self. You are your own best friend after all, and conversations with your self can really clarify things that might be muddying your head.

Eat healthy

Pick up meditation. Even just 10 minutes to clear your head a day can go a long way!

Jerk off more than once a day.

Wake up early, imo.

Tell the truth.

Practice mindfulness.

For example, when I’m in the shower, I check with myself to see if I’m really in the shower or if I’m pre-stressing for all the events in my day and all the ways in which they can go wrong.

I feel far less fatigued because I’m only living stressful situations once now. Also, a lot of times, nothing bad actually happens! I just mentally and emotionally exhaust myself thinking that it will.

Waking up in the morning. I learnt from this routine alot. I used to sleep alot when I didn't had to go to work in the morning or on my free days.

Your motivation is higher for doing stuff. You feel better overall. You are healthier. And damn, you get to sleep early and that sleep feels great. It's actually better than any sleep.

I believe this is the first thing to take in consideration when you want to better your life.

My son-in-law sent me this, it’s pretty good: https://youtu.be/GwRzjFQa_Og

Meditate!

If your room or house gets too messy and it takes a lot of energy for you to start cleaning:

  • declutter. I used the video series guide by Muchelleb and started to declutter my stuff. (My mom is someone who doesn’t like the idea of getting rid of things, so if you live with someone who is like that, don’t force it. Just focus on your own room)

  • Buying outfits that feels comfortable and makes you feel confident and suits your current shape and size. Also make sure they are weather appropriate. And again have minimum outfits as that makes it so much easier in the morning to get up and get dressed without getting irritated that you don’t like any of the clothes you have.

For anxiety or depression

  • ^ same advice as above

  • Read The Book Feeling Good by Dr. Burns

For Over-thinkers

  • Schedule worry time (explained

  • Go over to One Thing (author site), where they blog about tips and whatnot. And follow their guide to goal setting. I don’t necessarily follow the someday goal part, but I still followed their guide and once I tried it for a week, I started to just focus on their GPS/4.1.1 system.

Buy bitcoin

Send me $10

Stop smoking weed

Die

Read the hundreds of posts exactly like this one, only to realize 90% of the comments in this post are reposts, just like this post itself.

end it

Masturbate more it's good for the soul

Stop drinking alcohol... sounds alot easier than it is

Excercise

Always make your bed in the morning

Well its a real simple Little thing: have a positive attitude towards challenging things and life in general. Keep improving and keep working hard and you will get there. Don't think failure is absolute, think of it as a way to learn and challenge yourself and to better understand what you're capable of. Don't see emotions as weakness but as a way to express how you feel and to get things of you're mind and free yourself of negativity. Seek help when needed and give help when asked for, you can't do everything alone. This is something I learned a little while back and it help me immensely.

Surviving

nofap

Smoke weed

Live it to the full

Don’t be petrified to make mistakes. When learning anything it is ok to make mistakes so weather it’s a new job or new hobby you will enjoy it more if you take galore as a learning experience rather than something used to make yourself feel worse

Exercise. I know you've probably heard like 10 bajillion times by now about how amazing and wonderful exercise is, but there's a reason for it!

Seriously, exercise can help with depression. Yeah that's easier said than done because depression can make it damn hard to get to the gym, but you'd be surprised how much of a difference it makes if you can just get the ball rolling and stick with it. Don't make it a New Year's Resolution like "I'm gonna eat super healthy and exercise 17 hours a day until I look like a Greek god!", strive to implement it as a habit, a permanent lifestyle change. Just as brushing your teeth in the morning is easier when you've made it so ingrained that you don't have to think about it, going to the gym 3-5 times a week is so much easier when you're used to doing it. It doesn't have to suck!

Loving yourself is super important and it's easier to do that IMO when you can look in the mirror and say "wow I definitely look better than I did a year ago". Reaching new personal bests gives you a hell of a confidence boost too.

My advice, if you're having a hard time with motivation to go to the gym: make things easier on yourself when it's time, set it up as a reward, find something to work towards, and just go. In more detail here's what I mean:

Make things easier on yourself by setting up your stuff beforehand. I like to gather up my gym clothes the night before and put them by my keys, so when I leave in the morning I can just see them, grab them, and put them in my car. Pick a gym that isn't badly out of the way if possible. And don't try some hard ass long routine that takes all your free time. Even if you're just doing 10 minutes of exercise, that's better than nothing and makes it easier to build the habit.

I like to set it as a reward by going right after I get off work. Instead of thinking "ugh I have to go to the gym now", I try to view it as "woohoo I'm off work!" There's still times I don't feel like going but after a good workout I'm always glad that I pushed through and did it. Try to remind yourself how good it'll feel when you're done, that despite not wanting to do it, you got it done anyway.

Find something to work towards, whether it's just a new max bench, a personal best distance/time doing cardio, or losing 10 pounds. Don't shoot to go from a 95 lb bench to 495, that's gonna make it easier to feel like you haven't accomplished anything when you're "only" doing 225. If you can barely bench the bar, make your first goal to be able to do over 100 pounds or something like that. Alternatively, try to find an active hobby that you enjoy, that you'll enjoy more if you're in better shape. Think rock-climbing, go kart racing, hockey, hiking, whatever gets your body working and blood pumping.

When I say "just go" I don't mean "just exercise dammit", that's not really helpful if you're struggling to make it a habit. I mean instead of telling yourself "I'm tired as fuck, all I wanna do is crash on the couch but now I have to go work out how tf am I gonna have the energy for that shit?", frame it as "I'm going to walk into the gym and put on my gym clothes". Sounds like the same thing but there's a distinction. Instead of thinking about the workout that you're dreading, make the goal to just be in the building, wearing gym clothes. That's a lot more palatable and once you're there, surrounded by other people working out, you'll probably find it easier to just go ahead and do some exercise.

Try your best at whatever you do. If you fail, at least you won't have regrets about what you're doing. And who knows? Perhaps it'll help you find success in your life, whatever you deem that to be

Whole food, plant based diet. As much as you can. Not a vegan here but the science is irrefutable.

Do something that sucks everyday

Sleep.

Make your bed in the mornings

This is more like a diet tip, but if you can't handle the overwhelming change to start eating healthier with all of your meals; just start with one meal.

For the longest time I could not handle the 180 change from going to junk food to healthy food. I just started changing up my breakfast only. It didn't matter if I had a Big Mac or steak for lunch and dinner later that day. Eventually I started to like more healthier alternatives and started tweaking my dinner next. Its slow but it makes you feel so much better.

S L E E P

Looking at u... U fortnite sweats

Keeping their HECKING room clean

Take a deep breath and let things go, relax. So much anger and violence that’s not needed.

Appreciate what you have. It's amazing how much your life changes when you take the time to think about what you do have, rather than what you've lost/ don't have.

I walked a path that changed me from the inside out. I used to be angry, hateful and full of all kinds of evil. Depression, anxiety and fear were constant in my life.

When I gave over my life to Jesus Christ I learned to walk in a new way. I practiced love each day. I learned patience and self control. No longer would I burst out in anger and hate. Anxiety, depression and fear don’t exist in my life even though my world is in chaos right now. I feel indescribable joy, peace and comfort in my life.

tldr: followed a leader who changed me from the inside out.

Make your phone a distraction free phone (Google can help with the steps). I set mine up last week and don’t miss a lot of the functionality. I spend less time messing with my phone and more time getting stuff done (Getting out the bathroom quicker too). I limit the Apollo app to 10 mins a day and it’s been pretty liberating. Have to go now before my 10 minute limit is up.

Exercise, even if it's just going for a 30 to 60 minute walk once a day.

Compliment the people around you, I know this seems a bit strange but since I started consciously deciding to compliment the things I like about my friends and family it has made me lot happier :), partly because then you get to see them happy

Removing the negative people from your life where applicable, especially family members.

Buy a bidet for $20 on amazon

Try and do some light exercise daily, especially if you work in an office where you are seated all day. Doesn't have to be 4 hours at the gym 6 days a week, but half an hour jogging, or some time doing lengths in the pool can help.

Keeping your living space clean and decluttered, this has a tremendously positive effect on overall mental health.

Eat better food if you can afford it, vary up what you're cooking so you don't feel as though you're stagnating as a person.

Disconnect from social media and the Internet one day a week, find a hobby which you enjoy and make time for it.

Frequent the gym.

Stop an addiction. It might not be drugs or alcohol. It will be better though.

The biggest game-changer for me is to go running every morning while listening to motivational speeches with epic, pumping music in the background.

If you're interested, I recommend checking out Fearless Motivation and Tom Bilyeu's Impact Quotes on Youtube which has some really great stuff to listen to while training... Gets the blood pumping, I'm tellin' ya!

But yeah, doing this everyday for years has really taught me a lot about character building and life in general.

Stuff like, how to deal with stress and failure and to motivate me to hit my goals too.

I would genuinely say doing this has really changed my life for the better as I'm a lot stronger physically and mentally because of it.

You don't have to run like I do by the way, you can go to the gym, walk... Whatever your poison is, really.

Floss! Sucks to start, but your mouth adjusts quickly, it gives your gums a better defense against the dentists’ prodding, and apparently helps your heart health. Or set out your clothes for tomorrow before bed.

Go out of your way every day to do something small, but helpful for another person.

Not only will they be grateful to you for doing something they couldn't (for whatever reason), but MOST of the time they'll be willing to help you out when you need it!

Build up a support system by supporting those around you, and suddenly you're not alone in your need-to-do's.

If you're tired all the time and you sleep enough and get good quality sleep, consider taking a daily multivitamin with vitamin d3, possibly iron, and vitamin b complex (a bunch of the b vitamins that are vital to your energy levels). Obviously, a multivitamin isn't necessary if you eat a varied diet and eat well - but most of us don't. Ideally, it's good to take a blood test to see if you're deficient so you don't take vitamins that you don't need, but not all of us can afford that - so take a multivitamin anyway. Having multiple deficiencies can affect the way you absorb other nutrients, so might as well pile it on. And if you feel better or start eating better, feel free to skip your vitamin, take half, or only take the vitamin every other day or so!

Learn to cook. It can save you money and come in handy when youre like me and face 7 days with only 10$ for food.

Sex, you can always do better sex.

Love God

Goals in life are only achievable by our behavior, not motivation, we tend to illusion Us, by try to do the stask we originally motivated Us, we find out we never don't it before , and 80% give up, other let in slide later on but never actually achieve the goals, they key is to trained our body for the tasks or goals, slowly one day at the time, study and ready the goals

I really wanted to play the guitar but i never play the guitar before, I went to purchase 600$ guitar, we no training whatsoever, I gave up, the guitar just collecting dust until reading one night, one line say: if your never don't it before, trained your body we never accomplish what we want until we trained our self

Completely quit watching porn.

Rub one out.... you can thank me later.

Meditation

Clean your room. Everyday

Stretch every day

Stretch. 10 minutes of stretching when you wake up will improve your mood throughout the day and 10 minutes of stretching before bed will improve your sleep

Race go carts with weapons on them. Make a league.

Stop judging people. Everyone has their bad days and if someone is crappy to you just don't take it to heart.

Yoga

Stop dwelling on anything in the past. First because no good has ever come from it. But more importantly, up until this very instant, everything in the past is 100% immovable. There is nothing you or anyone else is ever going to do that is going to change anything that has already happened.

So if you can't change anything, why waste time thinking about it? You can spend your entire life thinking about it, but it won't change. And that's just what many people do. So if you don't want to keep doing that, you have to forgive the people that wronged you. I don't mean calling them up or texting them and saying "I forgive you". No, this is not for their benefit.

In fact if your life is anything like mine, the people that I have forgave are not ready to hear that from me. That kind of forgiveness is only for people who truly regret their actions. If they don't regret their actions, then you have to forgive them for yourself. And what that means is that you have to decide to stop being hurt by their past or present actions.

There is an old saying "Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having a better past". You want your life to get better right now? Forgive the people that have wronged you. It's wasted emotional energy that could be spent better elsewhere. Like advancing your interests and goals.

Stop living in the past. Stop being a victim. Live in the moment. Be in the moment. Because in the end, that's all life really is. It's this very moment. Don't waste this moment thinking about stuff you can't change.

“People often ask me what is the most effective technique for transforming their life. It is a little embarassing that after years and years of research and experimentation, I have to say that the best answer is—just be a little kinder.”

—Aldous Huxley

To students: Don't cram. You've probably heard that a million times, but it does help. If you struggle avoiding that, practice managing your time. Make yourself a plan with the hours your free and prepare accordingly. Divide homework and studying into manageable sections spread across multiple days.

Additionally, don't study in huge blocks. Every 30 minutes or an hour, take a 5-10 minute break. Stand up, stretch, walk around. Let your mind refresh. This one is surprisingly helpful and isn't difficult to implement.

Learn to let emotions out more. It’s not good to bottle up emotions because when you keep doing it the bottle will break and when it does it’s a mess. It’s okay to release emotions because it’s natural. Sometimes you just have to cry and it’s entirely okay.

Smile more :)

Eat healthy foods, meditate, quit soda

Be honest and consistent

Drink water. It decreases headaches, increases your metabolism, and helps you sleep better.

Exercise and having confidence in what you wear!

everything?

Start gambling

Learn to quickly accept that what’s done is done and you can only react or change from that point forward

Be nice to people, even the Aholes.

H Y D R A T E

Quit smoking

Not descend to a life of crime no matter what

Eliminate drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.

Smile :)

Stop procrastinating.

Cut your hair. Sometimes it's the cause of all your problems and you don't even know.

Close reddit.

Have no expectations on other people. When you don’t have any expectation, only 2 things can happen: either will people surprise you positively, either you won’t be disappointed by them.

Great improvement in my life, since I’ve stopped having expectations.

Meditate while cold, makes it easy to move for a bit.

Acknowledge the people around you. Pay them complements, ask them about their lives and say hello and goodbye.

Moved to a workplace where people declined to say Hi and bye, even in situations they work with people often or know them personally. There is even this culture of not looking in the eyes when passing by.

Can it be my turn to post this next week?

Cook for themselves. Look up a good recipe on line, get the ingredients, and cook up something nice. Doesn't matter if you mess up, you did something fun.

Ps. I think OP isn't in a good spot right now. Don't worry, everything will work out in the end.

Try to break your sugar addiction if you have one. You‘ll have more consistent energy throughout the day, feel better and won’t crave unhealthy snacks as often. Don’t be dogmatic about it though. Just consume sugar consciously and treat yourself from time to time.

smile, smiling shows that youre open to socialize, opens doors to family, friends, gf/bf and stuff

Live a little louder. If you're worried about embarassing yourself in front of strangers, understand it's pretty unlikely you'll ever see them again. So if it's someone small like being completely unable to dance like me, just... Give it your all. Dancing in particular is just about saying you love the music. Even if you aren't fluent in the "language", do it anyway. Most people are just glad to have someone there no matter how bad they are.

Always say hello or have a good day to those around you. That might just be something they needed to hear to make them feel less crappy about what is going on.

Give yourself a bedtime and stick to it absolutely religiously. You'll get better quality sleep and more of it.

Get enough sleep. Eight hours a night.

Make your bed . You’ll get a sense of accomplishment right away in the morning and you’ll want to keep that feeling going .

Wake up earlier and go to bed earlier.

As lame as it sounds,keep your credit rating High!

Eat only when actually hungry. Not on a schedule.

drinking 5 liters of water a day has helped with my joints, skin, bowel movements, and overall function. It seems so simple but drinking more than enough water will do wonders in your life, and 99% of people don't do this

Be kinder to those around you. Apologize to the people you’ve hurt, on purpose or not. Respect is easily earned when you’re a better person, you just have to think before you speak.

Sometimes you don’t know when you’ve hurt people. I check up on my friends when I feel they’re acting differently, and if that’s my fault, we sort it out civilly before going back to our normal ways. It’s kept many friendships intact for me over the years, as I’ve learned that if you really care about someone, you should fix things with them, talk through issues, and listen to each other.

I will second all of the clean house posts. Also, eating healthier I am one of the messiest, disorganized people. My new year's resolutions this year were to keep the house clean enough for someone to stop by at any moment and eat better. A clean house is now a pretty effortless habit and I've lost nearly 60 lbs. I've suffered from (at times) debilitating depression and this is the happiest and after the first few days, it was pretty small changes.

Be a little kinder than you have to. You'll be kinder and the poeple surrounding you too!

Take care of your house and clean it at least once a month

Read more books.

Reduce-1st R (if you can read this your not a baby stop sucking on those water bottles like they're tits, like you can't read this) can't stand the taste of tap water go get that big cardboard container of drink mix;Lemonade, Tang, Tea

'if you got a thing for baby bottles not judging cause you know what comes next'

So umm what’s 1st R?

https://www.reddit.com/r/redditpostpractice/

Ah, oh my. Well I don’t use much o I guess I’m good. Definitely s lot of people that use bottled primarily though, good one

Reuse-2nd R(when that those containers get empty cut a hole in the side paint it a color & put it somewhere outside, life finds a way)birds, small mammals, hope for bees)

'even those baby bottles are washable & so is my bed pan'

If you really believed Hawking was wearing a diaper may he 'HOK' a lougee on you(i'm talking a real egg, yolk and all) from on high as he is probably flying

Recycle-3rd R(damn near every thing has that triangle stamped into or on it)

'even the blind know that'

Then maybe subscribe to PiwDiePie or support someone who is doing a little more than your doing at this moment

!STOP LAUGHING! 'you don't have to laugh at everything you come across/think' there is more than happy on your scales, if you ain't balancing it out something/someone will do it for you whether you ready for it or not

just any 'bi-polar' or any being on this rock that does more that laugh all the way to the grave. 'cause you probably aren't headed to the bank but, you damn sure are going to die at some point'.

maybe poetically on you way to the bank via bus you should really be riding

End it.

Please prioritize your mental health.

It’s easy to be disappointed in yourself in this rat race called life, but the faster you realize that everyone takes a different journey and that there’s no point in comparing yourself to others, the faster you’ll keep yourself sane and mentally healthy

Garden or grow veggies in pots.

fart on the toilet

Enjoy beer, brewing 1 gallon batches is so easy

Every once and while eat some magic mushrooms

Realize that you dont have to be everybody's friend. Sometimes you gotta make choices in life, that some people won't agree with, but guess what...that is totally fine!

Not be poor.

Flossing twice a day...

Masturbate lots

On the real though, proper sleep schedules, healthier diet, and lots of exercise are medically proven to improve mental state. Other than that don’t get too stressed about things, take a step back and take a deep breath. You just gotta remember sometimes it’s okay if things aren’t perfect and that what’s done is done. Too much worry will throw off routine which throws off sleep, diet, and exercise, this leads to depression and other mental issues.

Be kinder to others, go out of your way to help people now and then.

Spend less than you make.

Buy flowers for your living space

Listen to your gut more often in your decision making and relationships.

"date" your partner. I don't care if you have been together 30 days or 30 years. Go out on a date, if you don't have the money, play a hand of cards or a board game, or pick a movie they have never seen, or read a book together out loud. Don't forget that the person you are with is the person you always wished for when you were single. And if the person you are with, isn't the person you always wished for, bail out asap.

FLOSS!

Stop worrying about the past. You cant change it, only learn from it and strive to be better from it.

Take 15 min walks after each meal.

Don't be a hypocrite. Before you get angry, jealous or judgmental, think if you've done same or would do same.

Help others. No explanation required, those that get it, get it.

Brush you teeth every morning and evening. I know its annoying, but you will save money on it and a future. 5-10 min each day 2nd, 20 sit ups every morning in your bed. Helps you wake up, while always training your body. 3-6 mins each day Go to sleep earlier than you use to and wake up earlier than you use to. Everyone knows 8 hours sleep is a must to avoid stress also waking up 1 hour earlier helps you prepare for your morning activities.

Smile. It’s not always way and it sounds silly but honestly, at least for me, making the conscious decision to put on a happy face especially when I’m not feeling it actually does help improve my mood.

I probably sound like one of those “gimme a smile hun” guys but I mean smile for yourself, not someone else. A forced smile for yourself can often become a real one after a little while and turn a crummy day into a better one.

Remove negative energy.

Become a prequel memer.

Excersice

Put effort into everything you do, seriously. Wether it's something new or something necessary that you don't like, put effort in it. Makes stuff a lot easier.

Drink more water

BUY A DOWN PILLOW. Choose your firmness and type but it's honestly been life-changing for my sleep.

Self care routine. Doing simple stuff like using face masks, moisturiser, facial cleanser or going to the gym and eating healthier etc makes you look AND FEEL a lot better. My mum’s current boyfriend used to be a raging alcoholic and occasionally abusive, but when he started taking better care of himself he changed completely. He no longer had stubble and constantly dirty skin or eye bags, he got his hair cut regularly, he started hitting the gym, he started sleeping better and goes to alcoholics counselling. He can now have a few drinks and not morph into a monster and no longer gets into tangles with the police

What’s a life? Pffft...Sounds Stupid.

Don’t do meth!

Read the Book "The Secret" it should take you up a notch.

EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE..... enough said.

Exercise, especially mma or boxing. I was a scrawny whimp. Used to get picked on and robbed frequently. Wasn't successful with dating. Just being in shape improves so many parts of life, plus being able to defend myself gave me loads of needed confidence. Plus I've saved multiple lives that I wouldn't have been able to or brave enough to intervene without my mma experience.

Stop being on reddit idk

Exercise even as little as 10 minutes a day. Preferably something a bit more than yoga, especially most days, but even 10 minutes of yoga one day, and then like 10 minutes of push-ups & sit-ups the next and such, can make a huge difference. It's supposed to help you wake up, improve mood, and health. And if you have 20 minutes a day to spare, you can actually do 10 minutes of workouts, then 10 minutes of yoga to relax more and stuff. Doing both can actually help even more.

Physical exercise. 45 min of activity per day makes a world of difference for both my mood, energy, and motivation.

r/waterniggas

Pay off debt live within your means.

Always tell the truth, or at least, never lie.

Set yourself a "bedtime" that you will actually follow so you dont keep running on barely any sleep. Seems dumb but helped me a lot. Doesnt have to be crazy, but having a set time to go to sleep just helps.

Learn to not talk over or interrupt people. My family and friends growing up would always interrupt each other and argue, it was normal. As an adult it was surprising how upset other friends or girlfriends got by this behavior. Most people REALLY hate being cut off in conversations.

Never snooze your alarm!

Be kind to yourself. Yhis world is hard enough, you don't need to be hard on yourself.

Eating healthy. It’s really simple, just not always easy.

Brushing your teeth, you can have the prettiest face but the ugliest teeth and that will drive people away because your teeth is all nasty and yellow. Please brush your teeth and I can ensure you will have a better life a way better life, people will be attracted to you because of your pearly white teeth and trust me I know this, I’ve even had people tell me straight up to my face that I should brush my teeth more often. When I worked hard, when I put in the extra effort to brush my teeth every morning and evening things turned around for me and I was suddenly being called pretty by strangers because of my now pearly white teeth. Brushing your teeth doesn’t take that long. It only takes 2 minutes of your time to do it, yes it will take a while for you to see the change in your teeth but trust me it works.

this is too true, however I feel like if you have a terrible tea and coffee addiction like me your teeth are always going to be stained yellow even if you brush everyday I guess I need to get my teeth cleaned more often at the dentist

Breath. All the people with stones above the ground above where there body is don’t do it. Their life probably sucks.

Smoke grass and drink gas.

set goals and remind yourself of them often

Drink Red Bull, it gives you wings 💁🏾‍♀️

Squat bench and deadlift.

Get a cat

Mind your own business and not be a dick

Taking a pre-game dump before any situation. 😐

Step outside your comfort zone, just don’t trample someone else’s in the process.

Go for a walk. Even if 5 minutes, just move outside every day. Move.

Brush your teeth in the shower. It saves time and you can really get in there without worrying about getting toothpaste on your shirt.

Floss your teeth twice a day, brush twice a day, and use mouthwash afterwards.

The gained confidence to SMILE and the feeling of clean teeth is something that cannot be underestimated.

Do what you love

Theres this really weird debilitating fear I've had where my life wont mean anything, I wont have any last impact that'll help others, I wont leave anything behind like a house or wealth. I'd lose sleep because of that shit. Quit jobs that I felt were only holding me back or were making me unhappy. It wasn't till fairly recently where I've let all of that shit go. I stopped caring about such a cancerous thought, that I was just gonna live whatever life I was gonna have.

Weird thing was, after that I got a really great job that pays well with great benefits. My overall attitude was much better. I started getting WAY more done than I thought imaginable.

This wasn't really a sudden realization. I was gone for 2 months on a business trip with one of my higher ups. I never had more than 2 words with the guy before that. After I was hanging around him I realized we were polar oppisites in almost every way. Not a bad thing. Kept conversations interesting. That was one thing that we agreed on though was that it was pointless to worry about such things and it wasn't until he had talked about it so much that it had all made sense to me. Maybe it was the time for me to mature a little bit too but I credit that to him and thankful everyday. It's easier said than done but once you truly recognize it, fuck man, its literally the weight of the world off your shoulders.

I still feel this way unfortunately, I'm still not where I want to be career and life wise and my age is catching up where I have to decide otherwise it'll be too late. I hate comparing myself to others however I still keep doing it I can't seem to avoid it, I have no goals or ambitions however I have many side interests but it's all surface level and would mean nothing to an employer. I need to settle on one thing and just pursue it but I'm up against this giant wall and I don't know how to climb over it, if I'm not very passionate about something how can I have the discipline to work had and commit to achieving that career goal.

This was...is totally me. How old are you of you dont mind me asking? What you're experiencing is valid from your standpoint. But that's the thing, its just a standpoint, a perspective. People talk about the flight or fight reaction but in the military they teach you about a third one which is freeze. People like us freeze. We become so dreaded at what CAN happen instead of what's happening NOW.

What you need to do is take cover. Get into a safe space where you can collect your thoughts. What legitimately makes YOU happy? Not what COULD make you happy. See what career moves you can make. Theres a job for everything. I mean you could literally race fucking pigeons for a living.

Next you need to plan and attack. Pick a few things that make you happy and persue them in small doses. Want to get into photography? Go out take pictures on your phone while you save for a dslr. 90% of reaching your goals will come from you getting up and actually doing them.

Even if you aren't in a job that you like, you'll have something to look forward to doing when you get off. This will happen until you find a job you love. Even after I made this realization invent through two other jobs I hated. Took me about a year and a half to land the job I love and I didn't even think I'd like it all that much.

Also dont compare your life to others, its toxic and the people who shot ahead of me all turned into dicks. I'd rather be poor and humble than a rich prick. You dont change the world for a better like that.

One thing I want to make clear for you. I'm like you in that I have WAY too many interest. I'm into gaming, military, shooting, drifting, art, graphic design, photography, PC building , wood working, ANYWAYS....the number of interest you have should not be limited. They just need to be organized to have time for and dedicated to be completed. Our ultimate problem is dedicated and time management. Make the time and see things through. Start small and work bigger. You got this and like I said, it's just a standpoint, that doesn't make it unchangeable though.

Meditate, learn to draw, learn to play a musical instrument.

Have an attitude of gratitude.

these are all stupid suggestions easiest thing to do, take vitamins

Meditation

Drink more water.

Mom said it was my turn to repost this question

Switch to GEICO

Be kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can

Not make it worse

stop self depricating humour. Some say its a coping mechanism or its all in good fun but no. It’s so harming to you. Because even if you deny it now, some part of you starts to believe in it.

On the same lines, stop saying you don’t deserve the compliments or whatever. I started embracing compliments

“you look good” thanks!

“you deserved this” thank you! I worked hard for it

you're absolutely right, I unfortunately still fall victim to this though I don't know why. I feel like if I accept too many compliments I'm seen to be cocky and I must remain humble by being modest like that.

Oh I still fall to it too. It’s hard

But also I dont want to deny it because then it feels like I’m fishing for validation. As long as youre not bragging all the time its fine. I wish you the best!

Using a turn signal

Once a week whenever you have the off time dedicate an evening to doing something that you love or something that you really want to do. It could be going out with friends, playing basketball, playing a musical instrument. Whatever makes you happy. I had a psych teacher tell me that this is an excellent tactic to reduce stress. It also always gives me something to look forward to. For me it's dungeons and dragons and it's once every other week.

​

TLDR set aside time for whatever makes you happy.

Stop reading Reddit

Start by developing a clear vision for the best version of your life, practicality aside. What do you want to spend your time doing? What makes you most excited? What network do you want to be a part of?

It’s easy to live life completely reactively to the people and opportunities that arise in your field of view. It’s something completely different to live proactively according to an original vision predicated on what matters to you the most.

Give a little back to people, even if it's a smile or a good morning it might make their day

try to make a to do list

Take more time in the morning. It sucks to rush. Get up a little earlier, do something you like. I start my day with a TV show I like. It gives me a set amount of time to slowly drink my coffee, stretch, laugh a little, just warm up to the day. Lol when my bff stays over she HATES my morning show, she hits the ground running, but she appreciates that 40 minutes of relaxing. Maybe you want to start the day with a video game, that’s cool too. Just find your wake up bliss, and give yourself an hour to enjoy it.

Said it before and I’ll say it again: cold showers!

Going to AA IS WONDERFUL.

Every day I ask myself, “Am I better off today than I was yesterday?” and if the answer is no then I try to do something. It could be as simple as eating a healthy meal or doing the laundry, but every day is a little better. Some days there’s a setback and I can’t do it, but that’s ok because tomorrow I will make it a little better.

Smile and laugh

Be nicer to the world

Learn to swim. Or even better - swim at least twice a week.

Stop thinking negative, it doesn’t exist it’s all in your head.

Be conscious of having healthy posture. Not sit too long, have head tilted down looking at phone, stuff like that

Meditation, it isn't wired as I thought it was and legitimately helps.

Make your bed in the morning

Read

Smile :)

Move on after a break up that happened 3 years ago

In my opinion I think it's a little easier for a cheating 0-moral whore who falsely accused her ex-partner of rape to move on than the guy in question.. maybe that's just me Itd be even crazier if that dude never heard a single sincere apology. Could you imagine such a thing?

Start walking a little every evening...nice way to wind down, get fresh air, and also the first step to being healthier and happier. Not to mention it's a nice stress reliever

Stop wearing underwear. Saves money and time.

that sounds pretty ouchie to me, I cannot begin to imagine the chaffing that would cause me-that being said I'm not the fittest person either

Moderate things in your life and you’ll be healthier and happier. For example, don’t work more than 45 hours week. Period. Take a at least two vacations a year. Exercise 3x week (2+ hours). Eat a big breakfast a medium lunch and a small dinner. Be thoughtful, not just of your loved ones, but also of yourself. Moderation has been the key to my happiness and I’m happy to pass it on.

Always feeling happy when I dance. When I'm cleaning. Cooking or walking the dog

Think that exactly...

Transition into drinking only water. Easy way to lose some weight (not a tummy tuck or anything), and it's good for your skin. You'd be surprised how often people need to drink water throughout the day to stay hydrated and how many grams of sugar are in a single can of soda!

When driving, whenever possible when someone is waiting to turn or pull out in front of you wave them forward so they can go. This makes me feel so good about myself, especially when they wave and smile back. Think about all the times you were waiting to pull onto a street and you had to wait forever. The small thinks count and putting positivity into the community puts positivity into you.

Drink more water

Hug them

Not be on reddit all day, unfortunately

Honestly, masturbate.

Authentic kindness towards others.

It's easy to do, and others are likely to repay your kindness in turn with that of their own. It's literally a free win-win. Costs you nothing, and makes your life better.

Meditate regularly. It literally changed my life completely. I have more control over my thoughts and emotions, am aware of and able to stop self-destructive patterns I engage in, and actually have the discipline to commit to self-improvement. It helps eventually silence the constant cocophany of background thoughts and you just become more conscious of things in general all around.

Drink more water.

Use alexa or Google home to automate and control your lights. Trust me. sounds fucking stupid but, when you can yell in bed GOODNIGHT ALEXA and have all the lights go off. It feels pretty damn good. That and my wife won't be mad for me not turning off the basement light when I go upstairs because uhhh the demons would get me.

Brush your teeth.

The one easy thing is to help someone else, it may not help your financial situation but it will help you feel better about who you are.

Get 8 hrs of uninterrupted sleep every night

Clean your room.... usually works

Most simple change ive made thats made an impact lately is eating breakfast. Everyone always says most important meal of the day but ive never actually considered it as that. But ive gone from not eating a regular brekfast in many years, to a medium sized bowl of peacan and syrup crunch every morn and has transformed my mornings have so much more energy and dont spend all AM thinking about food and how hungry i am. 😁

Clean your room

Take up an musical instrument. You're never too old to learn.

Excercise and eat right, look after your teeth

Do some form of exercise daily. Going on hikes or getting into a hobby will connect you more with the people around you and that is fundamentally what we all want to be happy in life (most of us). From a psychological standpoint, people are happiest when they are "in flow" which is when they are fully engaged in an activity. This makes sense because this is when you escape all of the BS in your life.

Be a bit calmer when you drive. Slow down, don't dart in and out of traffic, let the person with their blinker on merge. (use your blinker)

It puts you in a better mood for your day in the morning when you get to work and when you get home at night.

Smile!

That alone will increase the likelihood that things will go your way. For example, if a restaurant/fast food screws up your food, you can get angry about it, or smile about it and they'll likely give you a free meal or comp something for you.

I have too much useful junk I always sweep all my stuff into a big pile and than I have to separate Lego and junk I can use and it's a hassle

Learn to be able to manipulate your emotions. You don't need to suppress them like a Vulcan, you just need to be able to release them the right way or in appropriate amounts.

If you can't let go of something because of its emotional value, take a picture of it and give the thing away.

Go out and meet new people. Meetup helps.

The socializing is good, it helps you realize the world is actually a much bigger/nicer place than you might have previously thought, and it's ripe with life possibilities that in 20 somewhat years you would think back and say "wow, crazy to think it all started from there"

Don’t pretend you know about something just to fit into a conversation. Like if someone says “oh have you seen (movie),” and everyone else in the group says yes, don’t say you’ve seen it just to fit in. It will catch up with you, and it’s obvious when people are doing it. Just say you’ve never seen it.

that's actually pretty funny when people do that, I always make sure to call it out if I personally know someone hasn't seen/done something but say they have, it gives a good laugh and they usually are more comfortable and not worried that they can't fit in

8 hours sleep opportunity every night and a short nap every afternoon.

Ask for help.

Literally just donate some old stuff you don't use anymore Helps you and Helps others

Die

I said transgender people having mental issues not a medical issue in Facebook banned me for 30 days we are living in a communist country that bans free-speech Facebook number one what a bunch of assholes

Respirate

get off reddit, facebook, twitter, snapchat, etc.

Desiderata. By Les Crane.....an old song....from a poem...this helped several friends and I get through tough times in school.......its old...but the lyrics still ring true........... For me...be true to yourself, and do not compromise your life...people can change...but only if they want to ...don’t sacrifice your life waiting for someone to change...it is ok to love someone..from afar....

Get up early for the sake of getting up early.

Stop taking life too seriously and live it to the fullest.

Learn basic cooking skills instead of speaking money on fast food every day.

Drink more water every day

When you go to sleep, don't have your phone on the counter. It can be extremely tempting to pick it up and look at dank memes. This will definitely help you with sleep, and I can give my own proof as it has helped me gain sleep from an average of 5-6 hours a night to 7-8 hours. A good sleep can contribute to you doing better throughout the day, and an established circadian rhythm can help you maintain order in your life.

Stop browsing reddit and get some exercise.

be on time

Honestly, eating vegetables. Grow up and keep your body in good condition.

Not be a cunt

Delete social media

Get fit

Help someone else.

Drink more water and eat healthier!

Put bacon on everything. Remember: bacon makes everything better.

Baked potato? Bacon. Mac & cheese? Bacon. Cheeseburger? Bacon. Newfangled dessert thing? Bacon. Angsty boss? Bacon. Fussy child? Bacon. Speeding ticket? Bacon. Attacking seagulls? Bacon. Dislocated shoulder? Bacon. Kidnapped by terrorists? Turkey bacon.

Write things down. I would be lost without my weekly planner. Even if I don’t get things done on the day I wrote it down, I’m still reminded of it and roll it over to the next week.

Turn the lights off when they leave rooms

Exercise.

Exercise. Honestly, exercising can help to increase your lifespan and help to prevent many things from happening (cancer is included).

Tell bad influences in your life to fuck themselves

Eating less and more frequently so you don't get hungry

Learn how to cook. Even if you can't cook that well or afford the highest qualitly ingredients, your body will be a lot happier eating a freshly cooked meal rather than yet another pizza

Learn to breathe evenly and regularly. Some would give a name to this but keep it simple. Breathe in, count to 3, breathe out. Repeat regularly—especially when you need to refocus.

Set aside 30 minutes of every day for exercise. I got away from it for months and my whole mental outlook changed. Got a bit dark. 1 week back in and I already feel better. Walk, jog, do a video, yoga, lift, whatever. Do something. It's equally mental as physical.

Floss

Be nice to everyone you come in contact with no matter if they are nice to you or not. Just simply putting that positive energy out into the world will make you feel better and also might better the day of someone else who might very well need it.

I’ve found that by simply smiling or saying hello to people I run into everyday boost my mood and I’ve even made a few friends. It’s the simplest thing I can think of and it doesn’t cost a dime.

Have a decent self care routine. Honestly, my battles with depression and anxiety caught up to me and weighed me down. Realised that I was showering maybe once every two to 3 weeks, even though I felt great afterwards. And take the time to clean and make your bed, you will thank me later. And never be afraid of having a bed time. If you have to be at work by 8am go to bed around 9 or 10 and be asleep in 30 mins of laying down if you can. I am 20 years old and I see a chiropractor for minor spinal issues and see a therapist 3 time a month, let me tell you about feeling old.

This will sound shallow, but wearing even slightly nicer clothes really changes how people perceive you. They don’t even have to be expensive nice clothes - throw on a polo shirt from any old store and you’ll get treated better by a lot of people than if you walk in wearing a t-shirt or hoodie.

Think about what you’re about to say right before you say it, once you double check if it’s worth saying then a lot of times you’ll see how unnecessary the statement was. This is especially good if it’s in an argument, to think about wether or not something is really worth arguing about is very important.

Sounds very basic but drink more water! It helps make u feel more full between meals and it helps flush out toxins that contribute to depression. I have struggled with depression on and off but any points in my life that I've been sticking to drinking water it's been kept at bay :) not to say it cures it but it definitely helps

Get some amount of exercise every day if possible. The health benefits are obvious, but for me it's improved my mood drastically.

Cleaning.

I tend to procrastinate the cleaning.

BUT! When i finally do, man... I feel like a different person, it really REALLY cleans your head.

Don't whine and complain all the time. Wait, that's to complex for some people.

Listen to books about making money.

Like "Millionaire Success Habits" or "Your a Badass at Making Money" , "How to Win Friends and Influence People", "The Power of Now"

These books speak more to how to think and be grateful through life along with how to train your brain to make money and be happy now.

They have absolutely changed my life. I am happier, more grateful, depression is gone, I have time with my family, I have time to play, and I now make A LOT more money.

Cut toxic friends out of their life. Trust me it makes a huge difference

Keep a short list of what to do in an emotional SOS situation on a piece of paper you keep in your wallet/purse.

Content will vary on who you are. Could be anything from "pet the cat" to "call suicide help line." When we're feeling upset it's not always easy to remind ourselves what to do about it to help us cope in a healthy way. This can help remind us in the moment.

Not stay late somewhere because you're clipping your f***ing toenails again

Set a goal. Learn something new to you. Pick up a new skill that might help you professionally. Declutter and clean common spaces you spend time in such as you bedroom, living room, bathroom, or workspace. Go on a walk or exercise. Cut processed sugar and carbs. Have a friendly conversation with a stranger every day. Find something creative to try. Make a budget or learn how to track spending.

These are just a few things I've done over the last year that are easy to do and helped a lot with depression and I would recommend them to anyone willing to try. I started with learning some cooking skills and recipes I didnt already know, then moved to planning a monthly budget for my family, then I started dieting and exercising, then I started learning how to use tools like excel and outlook more efficiently.

One thing I also found helpful is using a task tracker like trello to organize and schedule myself so my life is more regular.

There are a lot of things out there that will make you feel like your life is better but the biggest thing I would recommend is not comparing any aspect of your life to someone else's.

Stand up for yourself

Start the day with making your bed. It will help.

stretch daily

works wonders for physical and mental health

Pray. No one will understand us like the One who made us. It's great to know that I can run to Him knowing He won't judge us and accepts us just as we are. Matthew 11:29-30.♥️

sleep for more than 2 hours

Someone posted this exact question here two days ago, come on man. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ba8jdh/whats_are_little_things_that_can_change_your_life/

Sounds hypocritical, but drop social media.

It's nothing but garbage for you and yet we're attracted to it like flys on shit.

I don't know if this has been said 1000 times in this thread but developing a skincare routine helped me! It doesn't have to be much, like trendy skincare with 20+ steps; even just washing your face twice a day will help. Your skin will be healthier, you'll look better, and your mood will improve!

I wash my face, use toner, then use moisturizer, 2x a day. Once a week I use a face mask. It's way more than I used to (wash my face once a day) and my depression about my acne has lessened. I still break out, but now I know I'm doing something about it and it makes me feel better!

Workout. Healthy body and healthy mind

I'd say only drinking water and coffee helped me a lot to better my life in general, mental problems still here on the other hand.

Sleep early and wake up early.

Except responsibility for your mistakes and successes.

Reduce screen time. It is amazing how much more time you will find to do things when you aren't spending all your time watching TV, playing video games or surfing the web.

Get a new phone number, import contacts, send out a text blast that you now have a new number and to text back to let you know they've received it. Wait a week and then delete anyone that doesn't text back.

I once had over 300+ numbers in my phone and now I have around 10% of that. I did the same thing with FB, closed down my old account and started two fresh ones, one for family and the other for friends. I have 46 on one and 27 on the other.

Sure, there are some people that I miss, but I know they don't miss me. It's difficult at first especially when you have memories with them, but then it gets better with time.

Put on a happy face and smile.

Don’t hold in your farts

Take more showers. You’d be amazed at what a shower can do to improve your day. Let alone the hygienic benefits, a shower in the morning before your day and a shower at night before bed can do wonders for your psyche and overall happiness and outlook on life.

How do people avoid showers? That's amazing to me, on par with people who don't brush their teeth. It's so fucking gross that I literally can not comprehend how you WOULDN'T do either.

You’d be surprised.. especially young adults and people who work long hours.. either they’re too tired to take a shower, or too lazy, or they develop bad habits as a kid of not showering. Lots of people shower 3-4 times a week, which isn’t that unhygienic, but that’s why I say showering everyday can be really emotionally uplifting ... so if you don’t care about being a slob, at least shower for the emotional and mental benefits.

Wake up at least an hour, preferably two hours, before you plan on doing anything.

Wether you go to work, school, stay at home, etc. this gives you time to fully wake up, and set the mood that you want, and organize your thoughts and intentions for your day. You can also get to those chores or obligations that you “pLaN tO Do LaTeR”, but never get around to when the time comes. I thought that getting up an hour earlier would make me more tired, but it actually makes my days much better than I could have ever imagined.

Smile. Tell people you appreciate you love them. I'm all out of friends and pretty lonely this couple of months, but keep on smiling and you'll get through life, this way I have been growing and learning things, and be nice to other people, when you can, give to those who can't afford it and you'll create a chain of good acts. Be happy mates, you can do it! :D

Seriously prioritize sleeping. When I get a good 7.5-8.5 hours a night, my life is so much better.

Mean what you say. This is harder then it sounds.

Alot of the time we tend to say things we don't actually mean, like "yeah, we should hang out sometime" or "I'll definitely be free on Sunday" only to flake out last minute. We say things like "I'd love to go rock-climbing" without really being honest with ourselves that we can mentally, emotionally and logistically do it. And most of them time it's because we want to spare people's feelings, look impressive in front of a boss, or we haven't really thought about it.

Don't do that. Be honest and upfront (but in a kind way). Take a moment to consider what you say. I realised at one point id be enthusiastic to someone's face, but secretly plan on not following through. So I stopped.

People are surprisingly unoffended when you're honest with them. It's had the added bonus that I'm now considered a pretty honest and trustworthy person. If I say I can't do something, people assume I have a good reason not to. I still get invited to things, and I turn up if I can.

Cut out the negative people in your life as much as possible.

Respect the people around you.

Taking. A. Fucking. Shower

My teacher doesn’t “believe” in changing seats so I have sat next to this kid who every fucking day smells like shit and piss (no exaggeration) and I have literally failed tests because I can’t concentrate sitting next to him. I’m feel to bad having to ask my teacher to move me because he isn’t a bad kid but Jesus Christ

Sauna

Make lists (maybe this is just an anxiety quirk for me but could still help) of all kinds, to do lists, things that you’d like to own some day, helpful tips, etc. it makes you feel more organized and like you know what you’re doing.

Take a nice long shower. Take care of ourselves. So good

Smile

Positive self talk. It seems silly, and can be a challenging habit to build, but it is so good for you. You hear your own voice more than anyone else's, make sure its encouraging.

Go to the gym, Wake up at the same time, go to sleep at the same time

  1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
  2. Treat yourself like you're someone you're responsible for helping.
  3. Set your own life in order before criticizing the world.
  4. Make friends with people who want the best for you.
  5. Compare yourself to who you where yesterday, not who someone else is today.
  6. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
  7. Be precise with your speech.
  8. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.
  9. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.
  10. Pursue what is meaningful. (Not what is expedient.)
  11. Tell the truth, or at least don't lie.
  12. Assume the person you are listening to knows something you don't.

Why? Read "12 Rules for Life". You might find explanations elsewhere in content with prf. Jordan. B. Peterson.

To do what you love or love what you do!

A few situps before the shower

Stop chasing your dream and look for opportunities instead. Once you made it and financially secure you can make your dream your hobby.

Sleep, lol

Goals

Make a 50 year and it will help you think what could be then 25, 10, and then 5 4,3,2,1 year goals. Be specific and allow yourself to adjust them.

Eat food, not too much, mainly plants

Wake up early

Drink some more water. I never noticed how much of an impact it could possibly have. My skin is better, I'm more awake, and honestly, it frees up more calories to eat what I want. :D

See a therapist, especially if you are lonely or have no one to talk to

Yep, although I wouldn't say it's simple.

Taking that first step for many is very difficult, on an emotional level.

oh this was very true for me to admit that i needed one, but as someone who struggles to open up to people, having at least one person is relieving to say the least

Drink more water (lol). It's a meme and all but it's honestly good advice, being properly hydrated makes you feel so much healthier and it's so easy to accomplish.

Drink more water

Praise God

For a few, it can help.

Yes, most definitely

Give / Volunteer directly to a cause you care about. Nothing makes you feel better. You will also meet great people.

Eat your fruits and vegetables and stop relying on daily vitamin gummies and A through Z vitamin supplements.

Lie

Cry every so often. It is ok to cry. It is a really good de-stressing tool

Take a hot epsom salt bath at least once a week

Treat every individual as they have intrinsic divine value.

Be more honest.

Smile.

Get blackout curtains and a sunrise alarm clock. We naturally tend to awaken with the sun, so setting your own makes it waaay easier to get up in the morning!

I swear to god these rephrased posts

Not remake topics

Old enough to serve in the army, not old enough to to enter some bars

Wrong question. Or wrong answer. Your choice.

Wrong question, honestly don't know how the heck that even happend 😂

Rule #32 - Enjoy the little things.

Try to genuinely laugh and smile whenever you can and truly appreciate things around you. Seriously, look at things as a stranger would for the first time and be amazed by them.

Many people try to suppress happy emotions when negative things happen, sometimes even when life is fine. Mark my words, you’ll find yourself enjoying everything in life - whether it be a smile some kind stranger gave you or a breeze through your car/bedroom window one warm evening.

Exercise. Honestly; not only will you start feeling better, but its good to stay healthy. (I know everyone knows this, but some people often forget that its important to stay healthy and i felt the need to remind those few people)

Brush your teeth and wash your ass.

See it in my boobs.

Go to bed and wake up at the same times daily. Exercise daily for 10-15 minutes. Drink water. Eat fruits and vegetables. Practice gratitude. Stay true to your word. Love somebody.

Has anyone mentioned smoking marijuana?

Eat more fiber, take better shits.

Its life changing.

Most of my life I've thought of self-discipline as a chore. I'm try to start thinking of it more as a gift I'm giving to future me. If I wake up five minutes earlier now, then future me will be able to leave work five minutes earlier. If I exercise now, then when the time comes, future me will have the strength and energy to do something fun and interesting.

get/make a gratitude journal. A lot of people just write down all the big amazing things that happen to them, but writing down little things like "I finished my homework before 11pm" or "my friend gave me a lolipop" really makes you happy about all the little things in life. And if you're ever feeling sad you can look back on it later and realize all the tiny things that make you happy

Write a bucket list.

Learn to play chess. It's great for the brain.

Strike up a conversation with a stranger. I met a nice guy and his son at a skatepark in Dallas last weekend. They were from Sweden and were cool people. Sure, it was just short small talk but, you never know who you’ll meet.

Read

Crappiest answer that'll get the most upvotes lol. Read what? Reddit comments all day? That'll get me real far heh

If you have to ask you must definitely read. It doesn’t have to be something specific, it could be something that you always wanted to learn about etc. People tend to overthink too much.

Start paying attention to where your thoughts go throughout the day and put the bad ones in check

Lose weight

Quit watching porn! It desensitizes you and feeds to a fake reward system.

Do masterbation dude

Stretch every morning.

This is just a big shitshow of r/wowthanksimcured

Try to avoid getting affected by other people's action. Easier said than done, but life does start getting better once you stop giving a shit about what others think.

Gratitudes

Listen more, talk less. I worked for a lady that only responded if she had something to add value to the conversation. It’s a virtue I started honing myself, the results are awesome. If someone’s trying to get a rise out of me, I just quietly observe them. They either slink away or make themselves mad. The key is not to laugh at them.

Smile at people on the street. 90% of the time they smile back at you and it actually makes you feel better. A little thing but it has a big impact for me

Smile :)

Be emotionally honest with themselves and those closest to them.

For me listening songs and understanding its lyrics really helps. Most of them are relateable to our life so they really help to overcome hard times in life motivates to achieve our goal. Pinkfloyd is one of the band that has always helpd me to calm down and relax in whatever the situation is. I think thats same for many people around here.

Make your bed when you wake up in the morning. It's a small accomplishment that will motivate you to accomplish more tasks during the day, as well as build your discipline

Starting your first job, put 10% of your salary in a 401K!

Get rid of the idea that it’s ok to flake without a legitimate reason that left you no other choice. If said event does occur, offer a makeup date with your explanation.

Drink water.

Learn to not lie to others, learn to not not be wasteful, learn to not spread gossip about others.

Exercise

The [4-7-8 breathing exercise] (https://www.healthline.com/health/4-7-8-breathing#1) to help you relax and fall asleep.

As someone who struggles with anxiety and insomnia, this simple technique really improves overall quality of life and help tremendously when I'm having trouble falling asleep.

Say thank you for every kind move someone does. Also thank people for being such great friends. Everyone should be more thankful in life. :)

Not block the fucking isle at the grocery store.

focus on them selves before others

Invest at least 10% of their paycheck.

Don't have debt.

Diversify your investments​.

Don't stay up late if you can avoid it. Sleep really helps one remain cool and collected

Go out of your way for someone.it may take little to no effort and you will feel good within yourself

Start meditating. I downloaded Headspace and it changed my life in a week.

Mastering your sleep shedule. If go to sleep everyday around the same time you will wake up around the same time and you will feel less sleepy during the day

End world hunger

Listen more!

Using your turn signal.

Vaccinate against everything possible, you’ll be broke from funding the vaccine but eh

They can kill themselves, it definitely improve the quality of life Trust me

Go to sleep as early as you need in order to get a 7.5 - 8 hours sleep and wake up 2-3 hours before heading to work/school. Even if you waste those extra morning hours on youtube at the beginning, eventually you will want to spend that time on smth valuable. And you get proper sleep every day

This question gets asked every week, if not multiple times a week. FOH with this shit.

Accept criticism and realize you're just as stupid as everyone else.

Stop eating bread... Cant stress how much that helped me

As a 16 year old I noticed the people found me more approachable when I made an effort to look better in public instead of wearing a hoodie with the hood on all day(even when it's hot).

Wake up early..

Start loosing weight right now, if you are at all overweight. The sooner you do it the better. You can count your calories in and calories out. A few vanity pounds can help you feel so good about yourself. That alone will boost your self confidence and make you look better. Self confidence is a huge thing in life and a better looking person is always more sought out, respected, listened to and quite frankly desired both romantically and platonicly. I haven't even touched on the potential health benefits if it is more than those vanity pounds to lose.

Set the ‘Do Not Disturb’ function on your phone for at least an hour before you go to bed until an hour after you wake up. Let yourself disconnect during that time, thinking about work or money or school right before you go to bed/right after wake up will pile up and cause anxiety. Best to spend these times with a clear head void of outside stress as much as possible.

Make lists for your goals and things you need to accomplish, and hold yourself to them.

r/ajelqforyou

Be kind.

Get up in the morning as long as physically able. Even if you're a night owl. Even if you fucking despise it. You'd be suprised how much more your can get done starting at 8 instead of noon.

Don't be a cunt

Live

Start gaming

meditate

it's micro habit that really helps. have micro-habit for daily: exercise , read and writing ad learning finance. It helps me move life forward without comsume too much energy and willpower which does helps to persist in and complete a task.

cook proper meals and keep your house relatively tidy, will improve your mood and quality of living

being positive

Condemn not Criticize not Complain not

Being happy

Being happy

Start working out

Have time for yourself. Don’t get too carried away with keeping up to friends and families all the time. You time can make the biggest difference

remove yourself from toxic people

Listen to what your elders have to say and learn from what they tell you about life.

suicide

Ask someone else if there is anything you can do for them, because in helping others you help yourself.

(Imho, if it is possible for you to be genuine about it - it will work more deeper and effectively in doing better for your life.)

Don't stress about things you can no longer change. It really helps.

Use blinkers when driving.

Its really easy and other drivers will tank you.

Die.

They Cannot Have A Bad Life

WITHOUT A Life

Stop negative self talk. Even the small things like saying "I'm an idiot" or "I'm so stupid".

Imagine someone was saying these things to your friend, would you be okay with someone saying those things to them?

If it's a mistake, everyone makes mistakes and you can be forgiven. If it was an intentional choice you can have regret but guilt moves in place, you can be repentant and grow.

Ok so where I live there is like an 80 mile trail that connects 3 towns and 1 big city, I love riding my bike through like a few miles of it every other weekend, in conclusion go on like a multi mile bike trail/ road and just enjoy the scenary

Learn something. You don't have to go out and learn calculus or a new language, but simply learning something new every day will make your life better.

Pretty much this whole video

Brush your teeth

Beat your meat

GO OUTSIDE MORE OFTEN!

Simple, cheap, healthy.

Be annoying

Learn to cook.

Not cooking half assedley (is that a word?) just to survive, but learn to cook stuff that actually tastes good and can impress people. It's not that hard, nor expensive (you have to eat anyway, and it's most healthy too), you just have to work on it.

Literally nothing is worth stressing out over. Any problem that you THINK is worth stressing over will have a better outcome and be done just as efficiently if you learn not to stress out. You will feel infinitely better with life when you learn how to never be stressed.

Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend, getting a job and not crying on the internet that they don't have money

Exercising, getting out of the routine, get to know your city, eat healthy, read books that you're interested in, take a course, visit your parents more often

The simplest thing I do to feel better is to apologize and also forgive those who wrong me. It kind of lifts a heavy burden off my shoulders since walking with a grudge is more of self-punishment in my opinion. Moreover, it feels really good to know that someone you wronged has forgiven you

Drink water instead of soda.

Learn from past mistakes and setting themselves up for bad situations.

Stop buying shit and get something with more value than “oh that’s cool I might use it”. You’ll save money, space, and a headache.

Start the day by making your bed.

Use this chart before trying to automatize stuff: https://xkcd.com/1205/

Learn something new every day

Read a book to gain mastery of college reading and study skills. I highly recommend - Techniques for success by Selma Wilf. This book taught me how to read a chapter to search for the main idea and related details. It taught me how to chart and organize my ideas.

Kill themselves =) (jk don't do that)

Well its kind of a weird situation in that I'm currently contracting with the place which is hiring me on full time.

So I know about the drama but I'm not that fully involved with everybody as a contractor. Once I start full time with the organization in early May I will give an update

Do not try to please everybody... Free your mind from garbage

Live

Work out yes being able to pick up girls easy literally just, just great.

List three positive things not the morning . Everyday. Doesn’t have to be about yourself, could be about your pet or the latest show you watched. Starting your morning positively will brighten the rest of your day.

Eight hours sleep a night.

Clean your bong and change the water after every session. It not only helps your bud taste better, but also keeps what your inhaling (relatively) clean.

Make other people happy

Not dying

Communicate.

Take a moment to drop all technology around you and just enjoy the world and what you are doing in that moment. It really feels great after not using your phone for a little bit. You begin to get things done more frequently and you're not constantly worried about what you might be missing on the internet.

Have shower thoughts to share on reddit

Count. Your God. Damn. Calories.

Be positive. Work Hard.

Just be more honest in one's thoughts, words and actions.

Start from where you are, do what you can with what you have, make having great character your main focus

eat and sleep

Try to be honest with life.

Use a calendar

Nothing.Because i don't have a life

Don't sweat the small stuff.

STAYING POSITIVE IN SOBRIETY! A “How To” On Not Allowing Others To Pull You Down!👩‍❤️‍👩 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1IqLspDX88

Introspect Daily.

[deleted]

Don't do it though

I sorted by controversial just to find this

Believe in Jesus

Read the scriptures and pray daily.

The one that says I'm going to hell because of how I was born? No thanks.

The scripture of satanic pride, yes definitely needs reading daily.

[deleted]

Lol, how is unhappiness a thing?

Just wish it away?

Boom, I just cured myself

You can think about the positives in your life. If you’re not happy, that’s on you

[deleted]

r/thanksimcured, that's why

Don't worry, be happy.

Die. You are up.to 15 now

caring about internet points

what has the world come to

Not vote for Trump.

It makes me wanna cry how many supporters he still has

I turn 18 just before election day. Guess where my vote is going.

Then give us someone better

Literally anyone would be less crooked and less of a liar than Trump. Anyone.

Doing a goal workshop.

Masturbate

Find God and love and help all people.

Funny since thats not what the bible says to do at all. Pretty nasty stuff.

[deleted]

Have you read it? The context is pretty blatent.

All but women, gays, anyone who isn't christian, etc. etc.

Bible's some pretty loving stuff.

Every human male(myself included) would evolve at a faster rate if we could hit the toilet bowl consistently, instead of spraying the whole fucking room every now and again. As a collective, I know we can do better.

Just sit to pee like the Germans.

Or do what I do and don't drink so you can aim effectively.

Fucking vote you losers. Go out and voooote

Stop drinking sugary beverages.

Rescue a dog

Sleep more. I know I need it.

[deleted]

Moral: never try.

This is a monumentally stupid understanding of how a capitalist society works.

Good comeback

Eat something healthy!! It’ll make you feel good inside & out

Brush your teeth 2 times a day

Quit wasting time on Reddit

Quit drinking and get the fuck out of the reservation 😂

Taking a shower, once a day. No seriously...

Prioritize sleep in a serious way.

Mindfulness

There's always a tomorrow. No matter how bad today is tomorrow is always on its way. Just keep your eyes forward and keep taking steps to better your tomorrows, and eventually you'll find yourself in a today you enjoy.

Work on mental exercises. How you handle extreme stress, boredom, and intrusive thoughts ~~can~~ will affect your mood and overall well-being.

​

Start with the thought that, "It's all okay. Really. It's all okay."

​

Sit down and actually answer the "what if" questions. You'll soon see that the worst possible outcome is actually really not that bad - and definitely would be manageable.

​

For boredom, when time seems like a deluge in front of you, get lost in the moment, and enjoy the time - don't see it as an enemy.

​

And, work on letting thoughts pass through and exit the other side as quickly as possible.

Smoke weed everyday

Masturbate

When in restaurants and bars, tip generously.

For example, when you go into a bar, pull out a twenty along with your card. Wait for the bartender to approach you, ask for a drink and say "the twenty is for you." Just be calm and collected. Now he'll have his eye on you. Next drink, do the same but with a ten, and so on. Now he say $30-35 in tips and he knows you're a good guy, so he'll be happy to serve you. Don't order anything that takes long to make.

How does this better your life? Well if you do this enough time with the same guy, who become his friend, and he'll help you out when you want to get into clubs, or when picking up women at the bar.

Same deal with high class restaurants. Make small conversation with the waiter's and ask his name. When you pay, add a nice tip, and when you're done, get up, palm $20-30 and shake the waiter's hand. Next time you go to that restaurant, ask for that waiter, and tip generously. The waiter's will love you and next time you need a reservation in some place, just call, ask for that waiter, and they'll help you out.

Sbeve, Now Gimme The Upvotes

Might as well just put this in r/vegan.

Vote for Trump

Masturbate daily.

Stop eating sugar, pasta and bread. You will feel better, sleep better and fuck better.

whats wrong with bread?

spikes your insulin, causing your body to think its still hungry and stores the carb as fat

bread makes you fat!?!

If youre eating too much yes, depending on the person. Everybody is different.

Be christian.

die

Quit alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, weed, meat. Those things only PRETEND to make you happy.

Eat a healthy diet . After years of suffering depression anxiety fatigue and psoriasis I switched to a whole foods plant based diet... everything has improved or gotten a whole lot better. Joint pain is nearly gone and I feel 10 years younger.

Die

Empty the dishwasher

Go vegan.

Don't borrow money.

For anything.

Yes that includes your car, yes it includes college.

Not repost

That friend who always says bad things about others? Cut them out.

Meditate.

Focusing on positivity instead of negativity. It sounds simple but it can be really hard to do.

Take three deep breaths before saying anything nasty to anybody

Quit Fapping. That shit can change your life.

Just be happy.

Make your bed every morning. Doesn't matter if you have nothing to do, or have no time to do anything. At the end of the day, whether it was a good or bad one, you will come home to a bed well made and feel good about your accomplishment!

I disagree, end of the day i come home and get frustrated trying to squeeze into my covers when i want to jump in and if i take a nap i dont want to remake it and in the morning i just dont want to do it because sometimes its frustrating to make a bed, i get whete ur coming from but this one isnt for me

die

Dunking on someone. Anyone. Just, wham! Dunk on em. Feels good man.

Get a dog

Have optimism. Always try and find the bright side to any situation

Signal properly while driving. Makes life easier for everyone around you.

Go to church, synagogue, or other place of worship and become a part of the community.

Learn the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

I said transgendered people don't have a medical problem they have mental issues and they banned me for 30 days what a rotten bunch of bastards

Don’t ask people on reddit for life advice. Learn to use google. Yes this is a sick burn of 99% of redditors.

Quit social media

Stop drinking alcohol

Happiness. People are so "depressed" nowadays. If you smile more your life will change, you will make more friends, you'll talk to more people, etc. Even if you really are depressed, start smiling more, no one wants to hang around the depressed person. If you smile more, people will enjoy being around you more which in turn makes you happy.

Exist

I used to be depressed. Eventually I literally just got tired of it and said fuck it I'm gonna be happy. I started working out and trying at school and eating right and taking showers and now I'm happy every day and when I am upset I can easily make myself not be upset just by telling myself to. I just somehow became very in control of my emotions and it turned my life around. I'm happier than I ever thought I'd be, all because I literally just decided I wanted to be happy

Exercise

Take like 10-20 min to walk

Give their life to Christ and engage with a community of Christians ❤

I'm surprised more people aren't mentioning community!

The downvotes on this lol

Keep Fedora tipping reddit

I'd rather tip my fedora then tip a church.

https://youtu.be/EwMFmJx1U4c

Give their life to Allah, and follow the guidance of Muhammad.

Why would I give my life to a fictional being that supposedly hates me for the way he supposedly made me???

Because Allah is the one true God.

The one true God that makes it a sin to be how you were born?

People are born gay, yet, it is a sin to be gay, how can a god forbid the way that he supposedly made you?

Being gay is a choice. A choice to move away from Allah's love.

Are you saying that you can choose who you are attracted to?

Are you dense? That's what the Koran says. Allah will punish those who give into the temptation of laying with a beautiful man.

The Koran says that it is a sin to merely be ATTRACTED to men. Since people cannot change who they're attracted to, that means that it is a sin to be born gay. Birth is literally a sin according to your god, why would anyone follow what he says?

We all fall short of the glory of Allah. That is why we must submit to him, or face eternal damnation.

But I CAN'T submit to him. It is against Islam for a male to be attracted to men. I cannot change who I am attracted to. Therefore I cannot be Muslim.

This is a lie that the western world perpetuates. You can choose to only be attracted to woman and not beautiful man.

Lol I can't keep doing this. I'm just fucking around. Fuck religion. I'm just trolling. Fuck Islam, fuck Catholicism, fuck Protestants, fuck Judaism. Fuck them all. Buddism and Hinduism might be cool. But I'm sure they are corrupted in parts of the world, by those who weaponize religion.

I'd rather not worship someone that wants me to choose him over happiness, thanks.

Religion is a scam to prey on the weak and scared

Or, now just hear me out, They could give their lives over to Satan, the Dark Lord, and truly experience visceral, and carnal fulfillment

Praise be he in this world and the next. Hail satan.

I couldn't agree more. I was a real skeptic (if you know what I mean) until I accepted Satan. My life has so much more meaning now!

I encourage all reading this thread to submit to the infinite power of the Dark Lord. Renounce Christ today!

Is there a sect for those of us that don't believe in God? I'm intrigued and want to give Satan a chance

Read the Bible.

Even if you aren’t Christian the Bible (New Testament, at least) is a pretty good read. As long as you don’t go crazy with it or push your religion on others it’s worth the read. Also stories like Cain & Able and the story of Genesis are great as well.

Why the Bible? Can I read the Torah instead?

Honestly read all of them. Probably realize they're all the same.

I'll pass. I don't have enough time left to justify reading that shit.

Honestly, I think you should read all the holy books of different religions. Firstly because it helps you better understand them, but also because there's a ton of cool lore. Older generations didn't have television or even mass print, so they just made up a bunch of dope lore, way deeper than most modern mythos.

It's kind of a boring book tbh

It's a pretty dry read.

Pass.

I mean it's an interesting book if you're interested in the magic history of Christianity. Harry Potter is a bit better though

It was too sloppy and all over the place. Harry Potter has a much better story with decent character growth.

Go to church

But they told me that they don't want me there. Why would I go back?

Why'd did they tell you that?

Because I am gay and put my happiness and life above their god...

In your original statement you said "they told me" Who's they?

The church...

Well since the church can't talk I'm wondering who in the church said that.

Obviously he's not talking about the physical building

That's exactly what I just said.

I know, I'm saying you were being condescending

He said the church and I said who in the church...lmao. Take a hike radiant.

Is the church telling me to take a hike?

No I am. He still hasn't answered my question. Who in the church was telling him. I'd like to know.

There's an obvious answer to the question

The church has come out overwhelmingly against gay rights for centuries

Finding examples of christian leaders condemning homosexuality is like finding hay in a hay stack

Finding examples or christian leaders condemning gay people themselves is almost as easy

You know what he meant

I don't know what he meant so I was asking. But you can read the mind of random people over the internet.

Church

[deleted]

Jeez put a fucking sock in it

Go with God.

Yes Anubis is pretty damn awesome.

That Yahweh though? Seems like a bitch.

"I made people gay so I can punish them for being gay". Seems like a great guy... /s

Lovely, devolving a decent conversation for the sake of one's own personal gain. Sounds exactly like what humans truly want from their worship in the first place. I'll stick with the infinite love and grace of the proven True God, Christ Jesus. It's fine, though, not that it's my place to give the forgiveness he can for people that hate on him regardless of being, living, acting, and dying as God for people like you and I.

Don't mean to burst your bubble but the Jewish man named Yeshua didn't prove anything beyond the fact that people die when they get crucified.

Lmao “proven” because some book a wizard wrote a while ago could be true

[deleted]

I can't tell if you're adding something or trying to disprove the infallible.

[deleted]

Not sure why it matters to you so much, sounds like you need Him as much as I do. God Bless you as well, Sir and/or Ma'am.

Happy birthday

[deleted]

Do you have a suggestion to replace eggs and milk in terms of grams of protein/dollar? Lentils are one of the better one, but still like an order of magnitude less than dairy and eggs. Some fish are really great, but Mercury worries me (Sardines aren't too high in Mercury though).

Buy a chicken and get their eggs. I have one on my backyard. It's really useful

Not sure if you understand what being a vegan is.

I'm vegan and have no issue with this as long as the chickens are looked after well. Most vegans are vegan because of the cruelty in the meat industry. If you are keeping chickens more like pets and using their eggs then that's fine.

I'm vegan and I eat Quorn for protein. I have also replaced all my milk with oat milk. I prefer both to the non-vegan alternatives so that helps a lot.

Quorn uses egg whites and milk, so not really a substitute, it's just the same thing.

Vegan Quorn exists...

Try soy protein. You let it soak in vegetable stock and press it. Afterwards heat in a pan and season with bellpepper and chili spice. Almost like meat and has about 43 percent of protein if I remember correctly..

Do you have a suggestion to replace eggs and milk in terms of grams of protein/dollar?

Yeah vote for people that'll stop subsidies to meat/dairy industry and suddenly prices will change.

I currently drink 2 gallons of milk and eat 18 eggs a week. If prices change before I have a suitable substitute, I'll go broke trying to get my protein needs, and I don't even have it as bad as others I know.

Beans do a good job.

You drink milk for protein???

Quorn actually has more protein in it than meat per KG. I definitely recommend it.

Quorn uses egg whites and milk, so not really a substitute, it's just the same thing.

Need some milk.

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Agreed. Drink water, sleep more, do your dishes, work out, clean your room, yadda yadda every time

Stop eating meat and dairy. It's nice to not support the suffering and slaughter of animals.

No

No? You mean it is nice to support the suffering and slaughter of animals?

No

Exactly. It's nice to not support the suffering and slaughter of animals. I agree with you.

You know what else is nice?

Pad Thai, Tres Leches Cake, and egg sandwiches.

Quorn is pretty great and you don't need to kill an animal for it.

Does quorn taste like chicken pad Thai?

It tastes a lot like chicken but with the texture of perfectly cooked chicken. At least in my opinion.

I mean that was why the cow/pig/chicken was born. Modern farming if how we got to be where we are today. Sure it's not the best but farming is the foundation to our society.

And just because you don't use animal products doesn't mean you're better than anyone here. I bet you waste the same amount of stuff like the rest of us. Do you drive a electric car? Do you use plastic bags? Do use us single use plastic anything? What chemicals do you use when cleaning your house? Have you taking more food then you could eat and thrown the rest out?

Vegans and your goddamn moral high ground.

Yep that's exactly right: we breed animals into existence so we can cause them suffering and then kill them for our taste pleasure. And then people like yourself defend it. How enlightened we are.

Just because we did something historically doesn't make it right. We used to have slaves in the West, now we don't.

Funnily enough I also care about the environment: I don't drive a car at all, I don't use plastic bags, I avoid single use plastic as much as I can in the modern world, I buy bulk eco cleaning products, I very rarely waste food and compost any peelings, etc. This is all incredibly easy to do.

And as much as it may be hard to hear, people who choose not to cause suffering to animals do have the moral high ground over those who choose to cause suffering. In the same way that people who choose not to rape have the moral high ground over those who choose to rape.

What do you use instead of plastic bags?

Thanks for asking :)

Normally have a canvas bag rolled up in my pocket. Or if I'm doing a big shop I take my backpack.

Canvas bags are worse for the environment though...

https://terngoods.com/blogs/learn/reusable-vs-disposable-bags-whats-better-for-the-environment

That's really interesting - I knew that cotton had it's environmental issues but didn't appreciate how bad it could be!

The study does show however that once the cotton/canvas bag has been used 173 times it does become the most environmentally friendly. All of my canvas bags were either second-hand or given to me as a promo so I've never actually bought one, and I will now endeavour to use them for as long as I can!

They're reusable though. I use a hemp bag personally.

And so are plastic bags

But most people don't reuse plastic bags unfortunately.

Just kill your own meat

Or just leave animals alone and eat something else.

How bout you leave others alone and mind your own business.

That's exactly what I'm saying: leave animals alone and mind your own business.

lol, perfect response

Good god... I don't know what troll train this post got hit with. I'll confess I haven't taken the step to go vegeterian/vegan, but I think a lot about how harmful the Western focus on animal-based foods is. We may never get to a 0-meat society, but every little bit we can do to minimize consumption pays off exponentially. There are so many benefits, both individually and societally, to reducing animal product consumption. And it doesn't even have to be about "moral high ground" (though let's be honest, we probably should care more than we do about making other creatures suffer).

Haha - suggesting people be nice to animals is a very extreme position! :)

I'm glad you think about the western diet and animal agriculture. You should continue to research and then ask yourself if it's something that you can continue to support. If it isn't: stop! Many people underestimate themselves and think they could never do it, but it's much easier than it seems.

Of course it has nothing to do with 'moral high ground'. That only ever gets brought up by butthurt idiots who want to lash out at vegans. It's about reducing animal suffering, saving the planet and helping humans too.

Eating meat fulfils most people. It's also important nutritionally.

You can get all the nutrients from alternatives such as Quorn though...

What happens to all those rodents living in a corn field when a combine passes over?

They die. Then most of what is harvested is fed to livestock, who in turn are slaughtered for human consumption.

Dying is a part of life. Deal with it.

Dying is a part of life yes, but choosing to cause suffering and slaughter doesn't need to be.

Humans actually don't cause as much suffering as the animals of nature. Many cheetahs, for example, are actually really shitty killers and take multiple bites, scratches, and hits before the prey goes down. That's not to mention the counting minutes of fear the prey animal has as it wears itself out running away from impending death. Regardless of who kills what, there has to be death of something in order for another lifeform to grow and live on.

At the end of the day, life is just a chemical reaction just trying to survive and reproduce. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live.

Humans keep female 'breeder' pigs in farrowing crates for most of their lives. These are metal cages with no bedding that are so small that the pig cannot turn around. They live, eat, sleep, excrete and give birth in these crates. When the pig is spent (cannot get pregnant again) it is sent to be slaughtered. One method of slaughter is to gas pigs, a process where pigs are slowly lowered in a cage into a pit of CO2. The pig feels extreme pain as it suffocates, and it can take up to 2 minutes to die. This is a lifetime of suffering, and there are approximately 5.36 million breeding pigs in the US alone.

A cheetah may cause a prey animal an hour of suffering after a life in the wild.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to live.

Precisely. All animals want to live, even pigs, but we choose to take that life away from them.

Farrowing crates seem harsh, maybe they can put bedding or something it it or just let them roam, but other than that thy get to live an entire life without constantly fearing a predator. On gassing pigs, yeah it probably sucks to die like that but it's not really that much better than getting savagely wolfed on in the wild for over 5 minutes, then dying slowly as you feel your predator eating you and leaving most of you to rot after they're done.

All animals want to live, even pigs, but we choose to take that life away from them.

By all animals, I also mean Humans. There's nothing wrong with pigs wanting to live, but we're able to kill them. It's a double edged sword. Would you rather humans all die off from not eating anything because it's inhumane to kill for food? Would you prefer we keep all animals safe by sheltering them from vicious predators in the wild? Death sucks. Killing sucks. But in nature it's kill or be killed. Not eating meat isn't going to save millions more pigs from getting slaughtered, because if we don't eat them, something else will.

Lol. It does "seem" harsh to live in a small metal cage for most of your life - because it is! And yes they could put bedding down or let them roam - but they don't. And yes it does "probably" suck to slowly be gassed - because it is!

The point is we choose to do this to animals. Wolves do it by instinct.

Would you rather...

Those are not the choices. The choice is to leave nature alone and for humans to eat something else. Yes in nature it is "kill or be killed", but for us it is 'choose something else from the supermarket'.

The point is we choose to do this to animals. Wolves do it by instinct.

No, they choose to live, so they eat animals. Humans want to live too, so they eat whatever they can to do so. It's no different. If we choose to leave nature alone, that means no eating animals, no eating plants, no chopping trees for wood or shelter, no metal working, no more human advancement, let's all just starve to death or all commit suicide. If every human chooses vegetable over meat, we will start having a rapid decline in the availability of vegetable food products. That decline will mean the vegetarian animals who can't eat any meat won't have any vegetables to eat, so they'll slowly starve off.

If you feel bad about animals getting killed, you shouldn't be eating them or taking their food. Which means you should starve to death. Right?

Doesn't mean we have to be the ones to do the killing... Would you let someone kill you right now because "dying is a part of life"? Or would you rather not die yet?

I'm not the one doing the killing though, that point kinda falls through. If it was me though, I'd choose to kill an animal over starve to death.

I wouldn't let someone kill me because that's my whole point. It's a game of survival, and currently humans are smart enough to win it. Until I walk into the wrong desert and get rekt by a python, that is. It sucks dying by other animals, but I'm not dead yet, soo.

It's a game of survival

Lol.

and currently humans are smart enough to win it

We have an obesity crisis, we have surging antibiotic resistance (partly down to pumping livestock with antibiotics to keep them alive), and we are destroying the planet (largely because of animal agriculture).

Well, I'm not obese, I haven't gotten sick in years, and we are finding a way off this planet before it becomes uninhabitable (hundreds of years after I'm dead, so it doesn't matter much to me). I'd say I'm more alive than any of the pigs we're slaughtering. That was my point. I wasn't talking about other humans and how they're slowly killing themselves with food, I'm talking about generally, humans are trapping livestock and not the other way around. We have found a system to more easily feed ourselves, and it just so happens that pigs and cows didn't find out how to farm humans first.

To be fair, you CAN be vegan an obese (especially people that have medical conditions or are on medication that causes obesity).

I'm not the one doing the killing though

But you are causing the death. If less people buy meat then less animals would die. That's basic economics.

If it was me though, I'd choose to kill an animal over starve to death.

So would I. Luckily, we have enough vegan food that starvation should never be a concern. In fact, if everyone went vegan then the world would have MORE food.

I wouldn't let someone kill me because that's my whole point. It's a game of survival

You do not need to kill animals to survive...

Until I walk into the wrong desert and get rekt by a python, that is.

So you admit that you don't need to kill animals to survive...

If less people buy meat then less animals would die. That's basic economics.

Maybe you're coming from a simple supply/demand standpoint, which is fair. But, demand isn't the only factor that would make less animals die. Animals on a farm need to be fed, so that's an expense. It's safe to say the more animals you keep on a farm, the more expensive your budget is. That said, with the current supply and demand, it's easy to budget towards how much product to sell with your revenue. But, say demand goes to 0. Because animals there needs to still be breeding to keep the farms alive. Well, farm owners only have so much they want to spend on keeping their farm alive, so they would resort to population control. Slaughter without any product shipping out to where they can minimize expenses until demand goes back up. Stopping meat consumption isn't going to stop animals from dying.

if everyone went vegan then the world would have MORE food.

There are only so many plant based foods on earth. And 7 billion people on the planet. If everyone went vegan, we'd all die. That's why we're omnivores, because there are even MORE food choices if you bat for both teams.

You do not need to kill animals to survive...

Well it's great that we can eat both animals and plants if the whole animal thing isn't a thing anymore.

So you admit that you don't need to kill animals to survive...

whut. I just made a joke about getting killed by another animal who needs to eat.

Maybe you're coming from a simple supply/demand standpoint, which is fair. But, demand isn't the only factor that would make less animals die. Animals on a farm need to be fed, so that's an expense. It's safe to say the more animals you keep on a farm, the more expensive your budget is. That said, with the current supply and demand, it's easy to budget towards how much product to sell with your revenue. But, say demand goes to 0. Because animals there needs to still be breeding to keep the farms alive. Well, farm owners only have so much they want to spend on keeping their farm alive, so they would resort to population control. Slaughter without any product shipping out to where they can minimize expenses until demand goes back up. Stopping meat consumption isn't going to stop animals from dying.

If everyone stopped eating meat today then the meat industry would go out of business overnight.

> There are only so many plant based foods on earth. And 7 billion people on the planet. If everyone went vegan, we'd all die. That's why we're omnivores, because there are even MORE food choices if you bat for both teams.

​

TIL that every vegan on the planet is dead... Are you trolling?

​

> Well it's great that we can eat both animals and plants if the whole animal thing isn't a thing anymore.

​

Exactly, we can eat animals and plants. So why eat animals when plants are more economically friendly and don't cause the death of an innocent animal?

​

> whut. I just made a joke about getting killed by another animal who needs to eat.

​

Which we aren't.

If everyone stopped eating meat today then the meat industry would go out of business overnight.

I don't think you read anything I just said. It's very naive to think you can bankrupt farms overnight, especially since they're all subsidized by the government. Sure, you can significantly decrease their meat sales, and by doing so you'd make farm owners decrease the size of their animal population likely through slaughter so as to reduce expenses on the farm. But they're still going to make bank on corn, wheat, and other products.

TIL that every vegan on the planet is dead... Are you trolling?

Again, I'm not sure if you actually read what I said. Following this logic that you made up for me, in order for all vegans on the planet to be dead (according to "me" (you)),

  1. Everyone would have to be vegan (which lol they're not)
  2. 7 billion people would have a big enough appetite to eat every single plant on earth overnight. Which I never said.

I was pointing out how limited we would be in food if we as humans took meat out of the equation. If everyone becomes vegan, we would be stuck with eating only non-meat food items, which ignores the overwhelming benefit of being an omnivore; that is, to diversify your eating and be able to seek more food available.

Exactly, we can eat animals and plants. So why eat animals when plants are more economically friendly and don't cause the death of an innocent animal?

Because eating animals and plants is the point. By not eating animals and only plants, we cut down our food options significantly, and now 7 billion people in the world have to either ration out food or we're going to run out in a lot shorter of a time than if we diversify the food economy by being omnivores. Because that's the whole benefit of it. Again it seems to me you're not reading what I originally sent.

​​ Which we aren't.

Until we walk into the wrong desert and get strangled by a python snake, or swim in the wrong part of the ocean and get eaten by a shark, or walk in the wrong part of the forest and get mauled by a cougar. Yes, living in the cities is a great way to hide from animals. I'm just saying (and again it was a joke lmao) that other animals are out for food just as much as we are, and because they wouldn't hesitate to kill a human for food, we shouldn't feel too bad about killing animals for food either.

I don't think you read anything I just said. It's very naive to think you can bankrupt farms overnight, especially since they're all subsidized by the government. Sure, you can significantly decrease their meat sales, and by doing so you'd make farm owners decrease the size of their animal population likely through slaughter so as to reduce expenses on the farm. But they're still going to make bank on corn, wheat, and other products.

We bankrupted companies that make clothing out of real fur. We can do the same with companies that butcher animals for meat.

​

> Again, I'm not sure if you actually read what I said. Following this logic that you made up for me, in order for all vegans on the planet to be dead (according to "me" (you)),

​

Is this even a sentence?

​

> Everyone would have to be vegan (which lol they're not)

​

Why would we be dead if we were vegan when there are plenty of vegans on the planet already?

​

> 7 billion people would have a big enough appetite to eat every single plant on earth overnight. Which I never said.

​

I never said you said that...

​

> I was pointing out how limited we would be in food if we as humans took meat out of the equation. If everyone becomes vegan, we would be stuck with eating only non-meat food items, which ignores the overwhelming benefit of being an omnivore; that is, to diversify your eating and be able to seek more food available.

​

Meat takes magnitudes of KG of vegetables per KG of meat. So you would have more food.

​

> Because eating animals and plants is the point. By not eating animals and only plants, we cut down our food options significantly, and now 7 billion people in the world have to either ration out food or we're going to run out in a lot shorter of a time than if we diversify the food economy by being omnivores. Because that's the whole benefit of it. Again it seems to me you're not reading what I originally sent.

​

Again, this makes no sense. It takes hundreds of KG of food to make one KG of meat. So if everyone switched to being vegan, then we would have more food, as we wouldn't have to be feeding millions of animals.

​

> Until we walk into the wrong desert and get strangled by a python snake, or swim in the wrong part of the ocean and get eaten by a shark, or walk in the wrong part of the forest and get mauled by a cougar. Yes, living in the cities is a great way to hide from animals. I'm just saying (and again it was a joke lmao) that other animals are out for food just as much as we are, and because they wouldn't hesitate to kill a human for food, we shouldn't feel too bad about killing animals for food either.

​

People in the first world are at almost 0 risk of being prey to a predator.

We bankrupted companies that make clothing out of real fur. We can do the same with companies that butcher animals for meat.

Examples please and I can see for myself how effective vegans were at doing that, considering they're pretty small compared to the rest of the population.

Is this even a sentence?

Yes.

Why would we be dead if we were vegan when there are plenty of vegans on the planet already?

100 people on the planet. there are 500 meats and 500 plants. If all 100 people are vegetarian, they only have 500 food. If all 100 people are carnivores, they only have 500 food. If there were 50 vegetarians and 50 carnivores, there would be 1000 food but split halfway for both of them. If the 100 people ate both food, then there would be 1000 food but for all of them.

Sorry for the simple word choice, but I felt like the past two times I tried to explain it, you weren't understanding what I was saying. I hope this clears up the basic premise of that argument.

​Meat takes magnitudes of KG of vegetables per KG of meat. So you would have more food.

Could you explain this a bit more? Because from what I gather, you're telling me we're going to have to compete with all other animals for plant food and be limited only to plant food, and yet we have more food? Because for us to have the most plant food, we would have to have no competition, meaning we would need to be the only animals on earth.

Again, this makes no sense. It takes hundreds of KG of food to make one KG of meat. So if everyone switched to being vegan, then we would have more food, as we wouldn't have to be feeding millions of animals.

We wouldn't be feeding the animals if they are out in the wild. They would be eating up our plantlife. Thus, we would be in competiton with those animals. We would have less food because we would be limited to only plants, and there are a lot of animals eating that plant life.

People want food. Animals want food. If people can't eat animals, then people are left with only plant food. Lots of animals that we eat will only eat plant food. We are left competing for plant food. Given time, we will not have enough food to sustain humans. That's why humans evolved to eat both meat and vegetables, because we now have twice the amount of food available to us.

People in the first world are at almost 0 risk of being prey to a predator.

You're making the point that people are the only animals killing other animals, and they're the only ones that are apparently not allowed to do that. When other animals kill other animals, it's fine by you. When animals kill humans, it's fine by you. But humans can't kill animals because then they lose morality points. That's my point. I'm not going to argue the logistics of getting killed by a cheetah, I'm arguing the morality part of it.

So no matter what animals suffer. Got it.

Well the point is we should try to reduce animal suffering as much as we possibly can. And not eating meat and dairy reduces that suffering enormously. Yes there are improvements, and things must continue to change, but this doesn't mean we do nothing and just gorge on meat.

Do you recycle? Or, because you can't completely solve all pollution instantly, do you just throw plastic directly into the ocean?

I think it's weird vegetarians and vegans are against people eating meat because humans eat meat. The only difference between other carnivores on this planet and humans is that one of them is smart enough to create a system so that they can spend less time and energy hunting for food and more time innovating science and other aspects of society. Seriously, watch an animal kingdom documentary. Pretty gruesome stuff as opposed to the way humans humanely slaughter animals for food.

It's not weird at all! Let me explain.

Firstly, humans are not carnivores, they are omnivores, meaning we can digest meat and plants.

Secondly, humans are not lions (who need meat to survive), we are very smart apes. Our closest cousins are gorillas and chimpanzees and bonobos whose diets are 99.9% plants.

Thirdly, unlike our ape cousins, humans have moral agency, meaning we can make decisions based on a sense of right or wrong. For example, we can choose not to eat bacon as we know that a pig must suffer and die to produce it.

Fourthly, I've seen many documentaries about the animal kingdom, and yes it is very gruesome. But humans are the masters of horror, and slaughter on an unimaginable scale. And humane it is not - here are some examples: Gassing pigs, chick maceration, pigs boiled alive, baby cow slaughter. And here is a full documentary, if you're interested.

Humans are not carnivores, they are omnivores, meaning we can digest meat and plants

Yes. I was comparing humans to other carnivores.

Humans have moral agency, meaning we can make decisions based on a sense of right or wrong.

Well that's based on the assumption that eating meat is inherently wrong, and I'm arguing it's not.

I've actually seen that documentary before, and didn't feel too much different afterwards about eating meat. It's the cycle of life and meat is the easiest way to get all the protein your body needs to develop and grow.

When talking about diet you can't compare humans to carnivores because humans aren't carnivores.

I didn't say eating meat was inherently wrong, I said causing suffering and death is inherently wrong.

Ah protein! I wonder where gorillas get protein?!

I wasn't comparing diet, I was comparing the way carnivores hunt and the way humans hunt.

Eating meat doesn't cause suffering and death, so therefore it's not inherently wrong it eat meat. So I don't see where the vegan mindset is.

Gorillas get protein from a multitude of sources such as protein rich leaves and veggies. But, vegetables and green leaves have only so many amino acids in them while one ounce of meat contains all 22 of them. That's what I mean by easy.

Eating meat doesn't cause suffering and death

Do you eat meat from animals who feel no pain and are still alive?

easy

There have been millions of vegans throughout history and there are millions now. Many are incredibly successful athletes. It couldn't be easier.

Do you eat meat from animals who feel no pain and are still alive

Why would that matter? I am not causing any pain or suffering by eating an already dead animal.

I understand there are vegans out there, and lots and lots of them. It just requires a lifestyle change I'm not willing to make, nor do I see any reason to make that change. Eating meat is healthy, it tastes good, it's not morally wrong, it goes well with a lot of recipes I use to make food (which is obviously balanced with vegetables), I mean there's no reason to cut out meat entirely.

But we are advanced enough that we are past the requirement of eating meat... We know it's wrong and can change...

That's my issue, though. I don't believe it's wrong to stay alive, you think it is. We are also not advanced enough to be past the requirement of meat. I mean, our appendix is so small it's basically worthless, so that's one primitive plant-eating organ we don't need anymore. If anything, I'd say we're so advanced that now we can eat meat. and the reason humans evolved from apes is because they found a better source of protein. Also meat has a nice taste to it, and you can basically cook it any way you want with whatever vegetables to go along with it. Just eating vegetables is very bland.

I don't believe it's wrong to stay alive, you think it is.

Lol.

Also meat has a nice taste to it

Amongst all of the hilarious stuff you have said in this thread this is the only part that is honest. You like the taste of meat and don't want to stop eating it. Thus you have spewed out all the same old anti-vegan arguments to try to justify this - you've nearly collected the entire set!

Just eating vegetables is very bland

This just makes me sad :(

Thus you have spewed out all the same old anti-vegan arguments to try to justify this - you've nearly collected the entire set!

There is no reason for me to switch over to being a vegan because it's not the lifestyle I want to take. It's just as healthy eating meat, and I think you're not going to save any animals by abstaining from meat. There is nothing morally wrong with eating meat, and so that's why I eat meat. I don't eat it just because it tastes good; I eat meat for its nutritional value, because it's in my ability to do so, and because it doesn't make me a bad person. Oh, and it tastes good.

It's just as healthy eating meat

Meat is the second biggest cause of cancer after smoking...

Lol who said that? Tons of people are old and grey and eat meat today.

So what? Tons of people are old and grey and smoke...

I was just asking for the source you heard that from. Also, smokers who have grown old with the habit have lung and heart problems.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26780279

I read the entire report, and I still disagree with their methodology of study. They say they factored in other risks like BMI, smoking, drug use/medication, alcohol, ethnicity, heritage, and general nutrition habits, and still said

Even after including these risk factors in a multivariate analysis, the relationship was preserved, which supports the suspicion of causality.

Huge red flag. They first off didn't show the methodology for the multivariate analysis, and secondly I find it hard to believe you can accurately zone in on meat as the be-all end-all cause for their really small chance of getting cancer, which brings me to my next point.

The risk ratio for developing colorectal cancer is stated as 18% per 50 g/ day for eating processed red meat, and 0.06112% of the US population actually has colorectal cancer. I eat 200g (mainly unprocessed red meat) per day, and I know there's at least a good handful of the US population that likes to indulge in fast food, so if the highest they could find was 18% per 50g/day on processed red meat, and the actual population has less than 1% of this kind of cancer, I think it's negligible.

Also, the numbers were lower for unprocessed red meat and white meat (ie. poultry) which is what I eat. So I'm even gooder.

Anyway, meat consumption may be a very small indicator of risk, but I can't agree with it being a risk factor itself. That said, I have a few articles you can read about my perspective, and I would also suggest reading up on the references in the report you linked to me. I found that one of the premises of that report was based on a study performed by a Professor of Psychiatry Rajita Sinha (I sent her an email to confirm her as the author, since I'm not quite sure on this one), a forensics psychologist AJ Cross, and a Biostatistics senior investigator Barry Graubard. They seem qualified in the realm of statistics, but it seems that every article about pro-vegetarianism and studies against meat that has Sinha's name on it also has those other two on it as well. In report you sent, it states the authors have "no conflict of interest." But constantly researching and promoting vegetarianism is a clear sign of conflict of interest in my book.

Here are the articles I have for you to read, by the way. These are just abstracts since I'm sure you probably don't want to spend the time I did researching.

Higher red meat intake may be a marker of risk, not a risk factor itself

this one too

That's my issue, though. I don't believe it's wrong to stay alive, you think it is.

What? I am on medication that is not vegan. I am still a vegan though. Every vegan I know has no issue with life saving treatment that is not vegan. But 99% of people do not require animal products in their life.

We are also not advanced enough to be past the requirement of meat.

Then tell me how vegans exist...

I mean, our appendix is so small it's basically worthless, so that's one primitive plant-eating organ we don't need anymore.

Because the stomach does the same job... I do not have an appendix and I am still vegan.

This logic can also be used against you. We do not need a gallbladder (something used to aid the breakdown of fatty meat) to function, surely that means we should all be vegan, right?

If anything, I'd say we're so advanced that now we can eat meat.

We can. But why would we when there are alternatives that do not result in the end of a life on this planet?

and the reason humans evolved from apes is because they found a better source of protein.

And now we've found an even better source. Vegan Quorn has far more protein per KG than any meat.

Also meat has a nice taste to it

And there are vegan alternatives that taste even better. Everyone I know that has tried Quorn has preferred it to meat.

and you can basically cook it any way you want

Meat has the strictest heating requirement out of all the food groups... You can't cook it from frozen, you can't reheat it, it has a short end of life date, and it is STILL the most likely thing in any meal to give you food poisoning.

You can cook Quorn from frozen, reheat it, do whatever you want with it, you most likely won't get sick.

Just eating vegetables is very bland.

Agreed.

I actually have something called Ulcerative Colitis which means I can't eat 90% of fruit and vegetables. I don't see what that has with being vegan though.

Last I checked, Pringles and Oreos weren't vegetables...

But 99% of people do not require animal products in their life.

Maybe not require, but it's a good diet choice if you're looking for a protein based diet. Again, it's a choice people can make and it shouldn't be looked down upon.

Then tell me how vegans exist...

I misspoke. I meant we advanced past the point of plants to be able to eat meat. Vegans exist mainly for personal reasons, but some vegans have a moral superiority complex and that's where I draw the line. I don't mind people being vegan, it literally isn't my problem. But when meat-eaters are painted in a gross light about how they support cruelty to animals or whatever, I have to debate that.

Because the stomach does the same job

The stomach and the appendix have nothing in common other than being in the digestive system. Anyway, I brought that up as a point to how small our appendices have shrunk through evolution, and how useless they are now that we have evolved to be able to eat meat. That's why some plants can make us sick if we eat it, and that's also why fiber is a bit tough to break down in our bodies.

This logic can also be used against you

No it can't because I was showing how useless the appendix was as support for how far our bodies have adapted to eating meat.

But why would we when there are alternatives that do not result in the end of a life on this planet?

You seem to only be concerned about "causing the suffering" of the animals. Humans are not the only cause of death for animals. If humans don't eat them, they'll die somehow else. Regardless of whether or not we humans eat them, they're still going to die. To answer the question, we eat meat to diversify the available food economy on the planet. As I said before, if we all eat plants, we'll run out of plants pretty quick. If we all eat meat, we'll run out of meat pretty quick. There are so many humans on earth right now, and diversifying your plate is actually a great way to ensure the longevity of available food on Earth.

And now we've found an even better source. Vegan Quorn has far more protein per KG than any meat.

No, I don't like Quorn. It's heavily processed, and there's quite a bit of "secret ingredients" that they put into it to make it taste good like fermenting it (the mycoprotein Quorn is made of) in nitrogen, oxygen, CO2, and glucose for a while. What's funny is even though Quorn is vegan friendly, the mycoprotein is cooked with egg after the fermenting process just before the freezing process. Anyway, some facts about Quorn:

It is very low calorie, meaning you need a lot more to function (which means you have to buy more of those packages). Meat, on the other hand, is packed with calories and can sustain you for longer.

It has low unsaturated fat levels, which they boast about being healthier (but if you actually know what you're talking about, unsat fat is the least harmful fat, and also happens to be the one that comes from plants. Saturated and trans fats come from animals.

It's cholesterol free, which can negatively impact your HDL levels in your body (which promote active cell building and regeneration among other things) if it's the only thing you eat.

All this can be seen from their nutrition labels, which are surprisingly misleading if you see they don't specifically state their fats in their labels (5g total fat, 0g sat, 0g trans). Also note how they don't have to say it's cooked in egg because it's technically a new ingredient called "mycoprotein" even though mycoprotein is made with egg as a final product. It has caused some reports of allergic reactions and nausea from consumers around the globe, though admittedly to be taken with a grain of salt since they are all self reported.

Meat has the strictest heating requirement out of all the food groups... You can't cook it from frozen, you can't reheat it, it has a short end of life date, and it is STILL the most likely thing in any meal to give you food poisoning.

Yes, you can cook it from frozen, just about as easily as you can cook Quorn from frozen. You just have to plan ahead and defrost it in the fridge. Yes, you can reheat meat. I actually have meat dishes as leftovers over the span of quite a few days. It has a relatively short end of life date compared to processed foods, yes, because there are generally no artificial preservatives added to meat slices. The meat I get, at least, are very minimally processed. I buy things like hamburger ground beef in bulk and then in less bulk I buy meat cuts and use them in stir fries, cassaroles, and other dishes. And you can only get food poisoning from it if you don't cook it right. It's pretty hard to cook it wrong unless you don't know what you're doing, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to cook meat. Google the meat's cooking temp and time, get a meat thermometer, and cook it at its temp for that amount of time.

Also, you can get food poisoning from the lettuce at Chipotle pretty easily too. It's literally just a matter of taking care of your food. You can't mess that up.

You can cook Quorn from frozen, reheat it, do whatever you want with it, you most likely won't get sick.

Actually, they recommend on their site that you have to reheat and eat it within 24 hours. (I can save my meat in the fridge for longer than that if I need to and still not get sick). You won't get sick as long as you aren't affected negatively by mycoprotein. Or dairy. Or wheat or gluten.

I can't eat 90% of fruit and vegetables. I don't see what that has with being vegan though.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't see what it has to do with being vegan either. You should probably look into expanding your available food economy.

Last I checked, Pringles and Oreos weren't vegetables...

Yes.

Maybe not require, but it's a good diet choice if you're looking for a protein based diet. Again, it's a choice people can make and it shouldn't be looked down upon.

Quorn is vegan and has more protein per KG than meat...

​

> I misspoke. I meant we advanced past the point of plants to be able to eat meat. Vegans exist mainly for personal reasons, but some vegans have a moral superiority complex and that's where I draw the line. I don't mind people being vegan, it literally isn't my problem. But when meat-eaters are painted in a gross light about how they support cruelty to animals or whatever, I have to debate that.

​

Remember, people used to say "I have no issue with people not owning slaves but they don't have to take MY slaves!" how is impregnating cows and then killing their calf so they keep producing milk not cruel?

​

> The stomach and the appendix have nothing in common other than being in the digestive system. Anyway, I brought that up as a point to how small our appendices have shrunk through evolution, and how useless they are now that we have evolved to be able to eat meat. That's why some plants can make us sick if we eat it, and that's also why fiber is a bit tough to break down in our bodies.

​

The tail bone is useless too, It's how evolution works. It doesn't mean anything.

​

>and that's also why fiber is a bit tough to break down in our bodies.

​

Which is why we have a colon.

​

> You seem to only be concerned about "causing the suffering" of the animals. Humans are not the only cause of death for animals. If humans don't eat them, they'll die somehow else. Regardless of whether or not we humans eat them, they're still going to die. To answer the question, we eat meat to diversify the available food economy on the planet. As I said before, if we all eat plants, we'll run out of plants pretty quick. If we all eat meat, we'll run out of meat pretty quick. There are so many humans on earth right now, and diversifying your plate is actually a great way to ensure the longevity of available food on Earth.

​

So you would have no issue being killed right now because you'll die anyway?

​

> No, I don't like Quorn. It's heavily processed, and there's quite a bit of "secret ingredients" that they put into it to make it taste good like fermenting it (the mycoprotein Quorn is made of) in nitrogen, oxygen, CO2, and glucose for a while. What's funny is even though Quorn is vegan friendly, the mycoprotein is cooked with egg after the fermenting process just before the freezing process. Anyway, some facts about Quorn:

​

This is true for some quorn but not all quorn.

​

> It is very low calorie, meaning you need a lot more to function (which means you have to buy more of those packages). Meat, on the other hand, is packed with calories and can sustain you for longer.

​

Most people could do with less calories.

​

> It has low unsaturated fat levels, which they boast about being healthier (but if you actually know what you're talking about, unsat fat is the least harmful fat, and also happens to be the one that comes from plants. Saturated and trans fats come from animals.

​

It has less fat overall.

​

> It's cholesterol free, which can negatively impact your HDL levels in your body (which promote active cell building and regeneration among other things) if it's the only thing you eat.

​

Most people have too high cholesterol in their bodies.

​

> All this can be seen from their nutrition labels, which are surprisingly misleading if you see they don't specifically state their fats in their labels (5g total fat, 0g sat, 0g trans). Also note how they don't have to say it's cooked in egg because it's technically a new ingredient called "mycoprotein" even though mycoprotein is made with egg as a final product. It has caused some reports of allergic reactions and nausea from consumers around the globe, though admittedly to be taken with a grain of salt since they are all self reported.

​

Non-vegan quorn states that it is made with egg. Vegan quorn says it is made without egg.

​

> Yes, you can cook it from frozen, just about as easily as you can cook Quorn from frozen. You just have to plan ahead and defrost it in the fridge. Yes, you can reheat meat. I actually have meat dishes as leftovers over the span of quite a few days. It has a relatively short end of life date compared to processed foods, yes, because there are generally no artificial preservatives added to meat slices. The meat I get, at least, are very minimally processed. I buy things like hamburger ground beef in bulk and then in less bulk I buy meat cuts and use them in stir fries, cassaroles, and other dishes. And you can only get food poisoning from it if you don't cook it right. It's pretty hard to cook it wrong unless you don't know what you're doing, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to cook meat. Google the meat's cooking temp and time, get a meat thermometer, and cook it at its temp for that amount of time.

​

Leftovers containing meat should not be kept for over 24 hours.

​

> Also, you can get food poisoning from the lettuce at Chipotle pretty easily too. It's literally just a matter of taking care of your food. You can't mess that up.

​

but MOST food poisoning is caused by meat.

​

> Actually, they recommend on their site that you have to reheat and eat it within 24 hours. (I can save my meat in the fridge for longer than that if I need to and still not get sick). You won't get sick as long as you aren't affected negatively by mycoprotein. Or dairy. Or wheat or gluten.

​

Both meat and quorn should not be kept for longer than 24 hours. Also, vegan quorn doesn't contain dairy.

​

> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't see what it has to do with being vegan either. You should probably look into expanding your available food economy.

​

Why? There are plenty of vegan food options other than vegetables.

​

> Yes.

​

Yes what?

Quorn is vegan and has more protein per KG than meat...

And I've shown why Quorn isn't a good option for me. Or probably for a lot of other people.

Remember, people used to say "I have no issue with people not owning slaves but they don't have to take MY slaves!"

And how is "I have no issue with people choosing to be vegetarian as long as they don't shame people for making the choice to eat meat" relevant to this?

how is impregnating cows and then killing their calf so they keep producing milk not cruel?

How is nature not cruel by having animals die gruesomely by the hands of other animals not cruel? It honestly doesn't matter to me whether nature is cruel or not, but animals have to eat. Humans have the ability to streamline the production of both meat and plants, so we can eat easier. That's the only difference between humans and other animals that kill other animals. We have smarts.

The tail bone is useless too, It's how evolution works. It doesn't mean anything.

The tail bone is useless because we didn't need tails to balance anymore. Because we are bipedal mammals with strong quadriceps and enough cochlea juices in our inner ear to keep us from getting dizzy and falling back down. It once served a purpose and now due to other adaptations, it's not useful anymore. That's the same thing with the appendix. Plant eating animals have large appendixes that serve great purposes in digestion. Humans are the opposite because we don't need the appendix anymore. That was my point.

So you would have no issue being killed right now because you'll die anyway?

I have no fear of dying, if that's your question. Other than that, if someone is to kill me, it'd be for criminal intent, wouldn't it? I wouldn't be mad at that point, I'd be dead.

This is true for some quorn but not all quorn.

Quorn is a company. Everything they make follows the nutrition labels they set, and I did research. Also, mycoprotein can't be made any other way. It has to be made that way.

Most people could do with less calories.

Yeah, fatasses who eat more than 3000 calories a day can do with less calories. Someone who's underweight looking to gain weight won't do well with this. I'm average weight and eat around 2000 calories to maintain my weight. I wouldn't think of using Quorn of anything other than a snack. And because of the other reasons I stated, I wouldn't even do that.

It has less fat overall.

Yeah I guess 5g of trans fat is better than 10g of trans fat... I prefer to eat food with unsaturated fats in it, and that's not what Quorn offers.

Most people have too high cholesterol in their bodies.

They have too much LDL in their body, which is the bad form of cholestrol that can clog arteries. HDL is used in cell building and reproduction because your cell membranes are made of cholestrol (very minute bits of LDL but majority HDL).

Non-vegan quorn states that it is made with egg. Vegan quorn says it is made without egg.

Mycoprotein is made with egg. Vegan quorn is made with mycoprotein. You can't make mycoprotein without egg, it's chemically not possible. It's actually an ingredient in mycoprotein called "egg albumen."

Leftovers containing meat should not be kept for over 24 hours.

I haven't gotten sick after eating 3 day old meat leftovers, and my meat leftovers don't usually last that long. They sit in the fridge for 3 days max, but I usually eat them on the second day. I'm 17. I've never gotten meat food poisoning, and I don't have any bad health.

but MOST food poisoning is caused by meat.

Now to make a factual statement like that would require a source. As I've provided, you can get food poisoning from anywhere. It's also disingenuous to say that meat causes more food poisoning because as long as you cook it right and handle the meat right, you will never get any food poisoning for as long as you live. It's a science, but it's not rocket science.

vegan quorn doesn't contain dairy.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, man. Maybe egg isn't dairy to you, but to everyone else it is.

Why? There are plenty of vegan food options other than vegetables.

Like fruits and Quorn? Lol. Again, I don't mind eating vegetables, I actually eat vegetables, fruits, wheat products and legumes regularly, and meat is just an additive to my meal that gives me protein and makes my food taste good. Diversifying your plate actually a great way of eating!

Yes what?

Yes. To what you said.

And I've shown why Quorn isn't a good option for me. Or probably for a lot of other people.

No, you haven't...

​

> And how is "I have no issue with people choosing to be vegetarian as long as they don't shame people for making the choice to eat meat" relevant to this?

​

People used to accept a horrible industry. People now continue to accept a horrible industry. "I have no problem with people eating meat" is no better than "I have no problem with people having slaves". People SHOULD have a problem with it.

​

> How is nature not cruel by having animals die gruesomely by the hands of other animals not cruel? It honestly doesn't matter to me whether nature is cruel or not, but animals have to eat. Humans have the ability to streamline the production of both meat and plants, so we can eat easier. That's the only difference between humans and other animals that kill other animals. We have smarts.

​

Ducks rape each other, is that an excuse for humans to rape?

​

> The tail bone is useless because we didn't need tails to balance anymore. Because we are bipedal mammals with strong quadriceps and enough cochlea juices in our inner ear to keep us from getting dizzy and falling back down. It once served a purpose and now due to other adaptations, it's not useful anymore. That's the same thing with the appendix. Plant eating animals have large appendixes that serve great purposes in digestion. Humans are the opposite because we don't need the appendix anymore. That was my point.

​

Your point proves me correct. We can eat vegetables without relying on our appendix.

​

> I have no fear of dying, if that's your question. Other than that, if someone is to kill me, it'd be for criminal intent, wouldn't it? I wouldn't be mad at that point, I'd be dead.

​

So if someone came into your house to kill you right now you would not attempt to defend yourself?

​

> Quorn is a company. Everything they make follows the nutrition labels they set, and I did research. Also, mycoprotein can't be made any other way. It has to be made that way.

​

https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/vegan

​

> I haven't gotten sick after eating 3 day old meat leftovers, and my meat leftovers don't usually last that long. They sit in the fridge for 3 days max, but I usually eat them on the second day. I'm 17. I've never gotten meat food poisoning, and I don't have any bad health.

​

I've never been hit by a car when I blindly run across the road. Does that mean it is safe to do so?

​

> Yeah, fatasses who eat more than 3000 calories a day can do with less calories. Someone who's underweight looking to gain weight won't do well with this. I'm average weight and eat around 2000 calories to maintain my weight. I wouldn't think of using Quorn of anything other than a snack. And because of the other reasons I stated, I wouldn't even do that.

​

Swapping from meat to quorn will not cause weight loss on its own.

​

> They have too much LDL in their body, which is the bad form of cholestrol that can clog arteries. HDL is used in cell building and reproduction because your cell membranes are made of cholestrol (very minute bits of LDL but majority HDL).

​

Meaning that most people eat too much cholesterol

​

> Now to make a factual statement like that would require a source. As I've provided, you can get food poisoning from anywhere. It's also disingenuous to say that meat causes more food poisoning because as long as you cook it right and handle the meat right, you will never get any food poisoning for as long as you live. It's a science, but it's not rocket science.

​

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/160942.php

​

> Whatever helps you sleep at night, man. Maybe egg isn't dairy to you, but to everyone else it is.

​

LMAO you think that eggs are made from milk?

​

> Like fruits and Quorn? Lol. Again, I don't mind eating vegetables, I actually eat vegetables, fruits, wheat products and legumes regularly, and meat is just an additive to my meal that gives me protein and makes my food taste good. Diversifying your plate actually a great way of eating!

​

Fruits, Quorn, Crisps, etc. If diversifying my plate requires me to kill/harm an animal then no thanks.

​

> Yes. To what you said.

​

Which part?

No, you haven't...

I've literally given a shit-ton of reasons why. And you still think I don't like Quorn?

People used to accept a horrible industry. People now continue to accept a horrible industry. "I have no problem with people eating meat" is no better than "I have no problem with people having slaves". People SHOULD have a problem with it.

So you're one of those vegans that judge other people for eating meat based on your own presupposed standards of morality. You're not arguing health anymore since I've already covered that front, but rather morality. Well, I'm telling you I don't believe in the idea that morality trumps nature and survivability. I would gladly slaughter a pig if it meant the difference between life and death.

Ducks rape each other, is that an excuse for humans to rape?

We're talking about animals killing other animals to survive. You're dodging a question with another unrelated question. We're talking about killing to eat, homedog. Not rape. By the way, you didn't answer the question I asked, which addressed your double standard. Why is it bad only if humans kill animals and not if animals kill animals or animals kill humans?

Your point proves me correct. We can eat vegetables without relying on our appendix.

You obviously haven't understood my point. Plant eater > large appendix. Human > smaller appendix as time goes on. Human can eat meat now. Humans now don't rely on plants. Humans now have more access to food. GamerZ44 shows a correlation that humans can and do eat meat to survive. It's not morally wrong to do so, we have evolved past plant eating. Doesn't mean we can't eat plants. It means we can and are allowed to eat both animals and plants. Does that make sense?

So if someone came into your house to kill you right now you would not attempt to defend yourself?

That is a different question and doesn't pertain to whether eating meat is inherently wrong. To answer it, I would absolutely defend myself because of an animalistic instinct to survive like all animals. Unfortunately for pigs, they're not quite fast enough to outrun the superior weapons of humans.

https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/vegan

And all of it is made with mycoprotein. What is your point?

EDIT forgot to finish:

I've never been hit by a car when I blindly run across the road. Does that mean it is safe to do so?

That situation relies on the circumstance because there is a chance you run out in front of a driver. When I cook my meat, there isn't a chance I just "forget" to check it with a meat thermometer and "forget" to cook the meat for the target time as specified on google of all places. Cooking meat relies on yourself, and yeah, maybe you shouldn't be cooking meat if there's an off chance you don't know how to cook it right.

Swapping from meat to quorn will not cause weight loss on its own.

No shit, that's not my point. My point is that quorn has not shown to me to have significant nutritional benefits, and therefore I don't eat it.

Meaning that most people eat too much cholesterol

No, there are two different kinds of cholesterol just like there are red and white blood cells. They both serve completely different purposes and are not one in the same, meaning I can reasonably eat sources of HDL cholesterol without any (or minimal) LDL cholesterol.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/160942.php

I did too much research today and couldn't be bothered to spend more time working through another article when I have better things to do than argue why my way of living isn't any worse than yours. Please quote a section from there, point out the relevance, and I'll see the context of it on my own.

LMAO you think that eggs are made from milk?

They aren't, but they're made from animals. I might have a different definition as to what dairy is since I didn't really have any reason to look it up, but under my understanding, it's an animal product and, according to vegans, unacceptable to eat. Well, it's in mycoprotein so I guess quorn isn't acceptable to eat.

Fruits, Quorn, Crisps, etc. If diversifying my plate requires me to kill/harm an animal then no thanks

That's my point. I'm not saying you have to do anything. I'm trying to justify (which shouldn't be necessary) my way of living to someone who fights to change it on BS moral standards. You can do whatever you want. I just give you a reason why I eat meat, and it's because it goes well with a lot of my dishes. The scientific reason you shouldn't get mad at other people for eating meat is because humans have evolved in a fashion to where they now can eat meat, and it gives them access to twice as many food options. Which is a lot.

Which part?

You said pringles and oreos weren't vegetables. I agreed with you.

As a vegan I'd like to add "stop supporting PETA" to this list please.

You can't claim that killing animals is wrong while killing animals... That isn't how that works.

You mean animals specifically bread for consumtion? How many small animals die while machines are harvesting the pounds of grain and plants you eat every day? You have blood on your food whatever you do, dont act like you re better than others in any way. Have fun slowly starving yourself

Ahaha! You guys are so boringly dense.

'But, vegans kill animals too! Take that, stupid vegans!'

Ahh this is reminiscent of my boy joji "IM VEGAN GIVE ME A MEDAL"

Impossible to not eat meat, look up the fda regulations on insects in food

Happy cake day

DONT GET MARRIED!! Its a trap, and once you have kids your fucked, cause either youll be bad parent and leave them or youl just have a misarable life. Im trapped in one now

Well that's your fault now isn't it. My parents are still happily married and I had a great childhood. They were careful not to rush getting married and they made sure they were right for each other.

It doesn't have to be this way. And you're never trapped. You can get out and should if you are miserable

And leavr 2 small kids?? I grew up with divorcec parents and i can tell you that we need both parents, not moms diferent boyfriends

You can do better than your parents did. You can still be a good parent even if you are not married. You can provide and be there without being stuck in a marriage where you are miserable. Divorce does not mean you are leaving your kids.

Sorry the delay, but divorce usually does mean the father is away... a weekend dad isnt really a dad

hugs,just give people hugs,shit is pretty fuckin cool and it'll make someones day

Can't believe this one isn't on top: STOP LITTERING. We only have 1 Earth.

Smoke weed

Weed

Cocaine

Your mum

Stop murdering people?

Drink alcohol and smoke weed, hire multitudes of prostitutes.

Smile.

Subscribe to Pewdiepie

Just be yourself and not change who you are for other people

To die

Not posting this same question every day.

End myself

Prioritise sleep. The benefits of working into the night will never outweigh the disadvantages (physical and mental) of insufficient sleep.

I compliment 3 people every single day. Sometimes with people I know "xyz, I appreciate how studious you are!", but even if it's a random person who's waiting in line for a coffee. "Excuse me ... Your shoes are so cute!". It forces you to look for positive things in person, and it makes cheers you up to see other people smile so much

Quit your job. Make a living out of what brings you joy and excel at.

[removed]

Oh god. You brought it upon yourself.

End it

read this thread every month when the same question gets asked.

Automating all of my bills made my life so much simpler. You have to pay that money anyways, so why even look at it? It also has a psychological impact when you don't see that huge number hit your account on pay day.

​

Also, build up an emergency fund. It is sooo nice to be able to shrug off an unexpected bill like a car repair. It can save you money too, like if you were putting off a car repair and it gets worse.

Ask Tai Lopez

Go outside get some fresh air and exercise. Every day. Even if it’s just walking the dog or something. You would be surprised how much sunlight and fresh air helps things like depression and anxiety

Push ups or hand weights, either right after work or before bed or when you wake up. Whatever suits your routine. Weight drops off, and you sleep and wake up better. Suddenly results just start to show up. People notice. Happiness ensues.

Wipe the toilet seat before you use it.

-it'll prevent you from sitting on somebody else' pee, sometimes is just water from previous person washing their hands but you never know.

-you'd assest if there's enough toilet paper for the task ahead.

-throw that paper in the water and now you just prevented an unsolicited Neptune's kiss.

-if you're a girl and the seat is up, well just follow the steps listed above, you can do it! you're a strong independent woman.

Eating pussy or if female, then finger themselves

For me is killing myself

Play 'Sunscreen' by Baz Luhrmann and actually listen to it once in a while or when you're feeling down.

Soooooo much good advice in the lyrics.

Eat less

Not being a Satanist like you are😅

Stop asking this question to karma farm

Hah, that's rich.

Be confident.

A lot of people on Reddit need to hear that advice because they have a self defeating attitude and will have a pessimistic view towards everything, but they'll call themselves a realist.

The reality is that being confident have being positive in life will help you with your financial, love, and professional life.

Put away your phone for a weekend.

Sleep earlier

dont shit where you eat, especially when she is 30, you are 23 and you are her boss

Do something good for yourself and then turn around and do something better for someone else.

Smile

Don’t be a dick, be a dude.

Vote for Andrew Yang

Show people there simplistic life

Get more sleep and eat healthier.

end it

How’s it feel to know that there are gerbils with better comedic taste than you?

Who’s it fell to be regarded

Join a House of Worship. I'm a Christian. God is very loving, kind and merciful. The Holy Spirit is a gift-bearing God. First gift of the HS: Wisdom. Wisdom is being able to make good choices.

subscribing to pewdiepie. simple

Get this shit off my front page....

Draw straight lines Not a whole thing Just one line but straighter than mine That's why I'm gay

i tell everyone "smile" "it makes your day go by easier"

Just don't be depressed

Die

Not be stupid

Die

Find a job they enjoy rather then a job that pays allot theres a saying “if you find a job doing what you love you will never have to work another day in you life”

Weed

Bubble baths tend to wash away all the negativity for a good while.

Wasn't this asked before?

Compliment yourself on a mirror everyday

Accept the fact that it's not going to get any better

jump off of a bridge

Kill themselves

Go vegan!

End it.

I swear I see this question once a week

Go vegan

Smoke crack

kill them selves

Stop being democrat.

If you need to respond to everything politically, re-examine your life and its priorities. This is true regardless of your political affiliation.

Isn't that what democrats do all the time? Respond politically to everything, in society, in media, in motion pictures? That's very hypocritical of you to say. But you sure are a democrat, so it doesn't surprise me.

^ don't be this guy ^

Go vegan

Get rid of guns and vote against red.

Subscribe to pewdiepie

Stop being a Liberal.

Facebook is stopping Free Speech again and again and again

End it.

Vote out a Republican.

While simple, it does require a Republican to vote out, and a voting period to be active.

Be conscientious of your area's voting periods is helpful.

Every chance you get...

Read Jordan Peterson's "12 rules for life".

If I wanted to cringe there are much better ways

Lol okay bud. Two of the rules are literally the top two comments. 👍

Some of the advice may be sound but overall Jordan Peterson is a crazy far right person, there are better ways to improve one's self then to read his book

Far right?! Is that what you were told? Lmao. He most certainly is not far right. This narrative has been thrown around far too much. If anything he is a centrist, hates ideology of the extremes. Hell, read the book. It may surprise you.

He is far right though. He even speaks on PragerU and denied climate change.

Article is an opinion piece and has no supporting facts. The guy is out there telling it like it is and some can't handle it. Watch his lectures... read the book. The man is no nazi.

I've seen some of his videos. Far right does not equal nazi, and he does argue right-wing talking points while insisting he's not right wing. He speaks on PragerU, has denied climate change, and believes that dangerous people are brainwashing people in the form of education.

Stop voting Democrat or Republican.

Write off every Red Hat Trump Supporter in your life, family included.

Dividing the U.S even more. Yep, great idea...

We didn't start the fire and we're not putting it out.

Sometimes cutting bad things off is necessary.

Find a fun, positive, motivating church with a great Pastor.

Take vitamins

Meditate.

Cock and ball torture

Clean your room.

Inb4 I'm called a Nazi LMFAO 👌

Pray.

Win the lottery if your lucky it’s a simple thing

Not repost this question

Kill. Me. It'll make life better for everyone in this world.

It certainly will not. It’s good that you’re here because you are improving someone’s life, and if you’re not, how lucky are you to have the opportunity to change things?

If you need to talk, feel free to message me.

Put a bullet in their brain

Read Jordan Peterson "12 rules for life"

Turn to Christ

Go vegan

Why are you only looking for simple solutions?

The journey of 1000 miles starts with a step.

Make and be able to maintain eye contact during conversations. Do things as little as picking up a discarded pack of cigarettes or other small litter while you’re out and about.

People will feel like interacting with you is much more personal and will then see you as a generally warmer person. Result: you’re a super nice person.

Learn the word "improve". That way you don't use "better" as a verb and sound like a dumb redneck.

Install Reddit

Install Reddit

Trust in God. We need to do this every time when we make a decision

End it

Conserve your fossil fuel usage. There are so many renewable alternatives.

Hmm, I mean yes, they are pretty expensive. Except for ethanol, I usually use it with gas. It doesnt get the gas-only mpg but it is more clean

LOVE 6IX9INE

Don't get a flu shot.

Unionize your workplace

Pick a newspaper and read it every morning. There is shit going on in the world that is relevant and you are completely ignorant of.

It's the 21st century. Why waste all that paper. Just get your news online. Every major paper has a website. Shit, some of them even have podcasts.

Yeah I did that for a while. You'd think it's the same thing, but it's not remotely. The paper is the shit.

Also reading on paper vs a screen is just a different cognitive exercise. Plus, depending on what you're reading, you might even learn a word or two each read.

Eat less animal products and more fruits and beans and seeds and nuts

r/vegan

Die