Reddit, what are the most useful askreddit posts?
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r/AskRedditu/thelangers (38539)

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I had a askreddit post saved that was, "What is your favorite quick joke?" knowing someday it would come in handy. One day, my wife and I were headed somewhere and she was having a terrible day for reasons I won't go into (glad to say, it wasn't my fault!), but she was really angry and sad and on our way to our destination we encountered a really rough patch of construction.

It was one of those days where one more thing going wrong would cause her to break down and this was it. So we're stuck in construction for 2-3 minutes and it's obvious we're gonna be there for a long time. She's ready to start crying and I pull up my phone and pull up that askreddit post and without warning just start reading her jokes.

She starts busting up laughing and since they're quick jokes, I can hit her with them one after another, before she recovers from one joke I hit her with the next. 5-7 minutes of this and they finally let us through construction and she was in a much better mood.

The power of Reddit pulls through.

What a nice story. :-)

can you provide the link, oh kind and generous stranger?

It was this one in particular however if you search AskReddit for "Short joke," not surprisingly the subject has come up often.

Thank you! You are awesome!

I wish I had married a man like you..

That was a nice pull out ;)

For the lazy - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6e179o/what_is_your_favorite_quick_joke/

Not gonna share the link with us huh buddy? I see how it is.

Iirc, it was an AskReddit comment that gave advice which drove away tinnitus that I'd had for years. It was really weird advice, too. Basically lay your hands flat over your ears, resting fingers along the curve of your skull so that your middle fingers point at each other, then put your index fingers over top of your middles, and flick them back down into their normal position so that they drum lightly on your head. Repeat 20 or 30 times, then uncover your ears.

I have no idea why this works, but it was magical relief, and clears up that painful noise whenever it arises.

(I don't have a link, and am on mobile, so searching for one is tricky.)

By "the curve" do you mean the back of your skull or the top of your skull

Edit: Wow it worked, but only a very short time, for me.

... holy shit.

It's quiet. Finally... god damn.

How can I get it to stay like this?

Ninja Edit: I can hear my refrigerator buzzing now and it's annoying.

Ninja Edit: I can hear my refrigerator buzzing now and it's annoying.

This is one reason I don't mind it when my tinnitus acts up. I didn't even know I really it until a couple years ago when friends and I were talking and I learned "hearing silence" was, in fact, just me. Regardless, the little ring gives me a sound to focus on when I zone out and think, which makes it a bit easier to think in less-than-quiet spaces.

The downside is sometimes when I'm trying to sleep I want to rip my cochleae out.

Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep I whip my cochleae out, too, KNAWIMSAYIN!?!

I just tend to try to imagine the social history of ancient civilisations. Ho hum.

They also probably whipped something out at night.

Sticks and stones or dicks and moans?

Edit: 3 months late to the party getting too far into reddit for one night.

It's okay, your effort has not gone unnoticed.

Recently mine has been keeping me up at night though, so I might continue this technique.

[deleted]

I'm in my 20s, and I don't ever remember not having it. I became conscious of it after my SO took me to some club and I had very obvious ringing for ~36 hours after.

I think I have a pretty mild case - at least, it doesn't tend to affect my life one way or the other. The very rare "bad" days can make it hard to sleep, but some simple white noise fixes that. 99% of the time I forget I have it because I'm focused on something else. I don't really like total silence anyway, so sometimes it actually helps me focus.

wow i'm literally 4 months late to this party but when i read you were the only one who "heard silence" up until right now i thought it was normal too? but just out of curiosity i tried the trick out an it worked i guess because i didn't hear the usual high pitched "weee" i usually hear when there's silence around

this is so weird i didn't think i had tinnitus (i dont know maybe i actually don't?) because i assumed it was supposed to be a loud annoying buzzing sound you can't ignore whereas what i heard was usually pretty faint and never bugged me

I have very very minor tinnitus from going to way too many concerts without earplugs (on the order of several hundred, up close, I'm lucky it's not worse), but when mine goes away it makes it impossible to sleep.

You are now breathing in manual mode.

Your tongue lays uncomfortably in your mouth.

You always see your nose, but your brain ignores it - but not now.

Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger

;)

This could drive a person to insanity if over thought.

My thought exactly.

I know right, just worked for me.

Back of skull.

I've found that sometimes it comes back quickly, sometimes it goes away for a while. Used to have it all the time, but since I learned this technique it's been returning less and less frequently.

I do not have tinnitus but felt extremely relaxed after trying it out.

Well, I didn't have the tinnitus, so I replaced it with bad hearing in general. I also replaced my skull with a helmet, and then I got rid of the drumming.

1/5, will not recook, it was terrible

Someone looks up recipes online.

This guy cooks.

This guy skates.. In the UK.

This guy is from the future. And his name is Daniel.

^ this guy is fuckin

Yeah I looked a little weird doing it, but the relaxing feeling sorta made up for that.

Either I'm (still) doing it wrong or it doesn't work for me.

Now I'm wondering if you got tinnitus just so you could test out this technique...

I never seemed to work for me. Maybe I just need to do it regularly so it slowly goes away.

TIL I apparently have tinnitus...

I didn't even realise I had slight tinnitus until I tried this!

Repeat! I did this for a week and haven't heard the beep in over a month!

edit: not 24/7 just whenever it became really noisy

How many times per day?

[deleted]

So every time the sound came back you did it again, and over time it took longer and longer for the sound to return?

Dont do it, nextyou know you'll be in a public space, rocking and tapping your head 30 times while in a corner.... they out those people in homes...

I wonder if a small medical device that taps that point or simulates this could be worn and relieve it all together....

I think I might have a new arduino project.

I'm with this guy, I don't understand what you mean. Should I cover my ear with my fingers pointing towards the sky?

Back of your head

Up vote for poss video tutorial down the line. So tired of this ringing.

Here ya go! Lemme know if it helps at all!

Well, I learned two things from that. First, how to do it, and I can attest that it works! Second I've been pronouncing tinnitus wrong my whole life. I always say it as ti-night-us, not tin-ni-tus like they did in the video.

You're not pronouncing it wrong. Either way is correct. The way you say it is the far less annoying way though. :)

I always said tin-in-ight-us help me please

I pronounce it like Archer. Ten-eye-duss

Makes me think of "Dia-uh-bee-tuss."

It doesn't work for me :/

[deleted]

Me too. Literally did nothing.

Edit: could be we have a different form of tinnitus https://www.audiologyandhearing.com/the-4-different-types-of-tinnitus/

Mine still rings :( and I'm just 19

Thank you! I just sent it to my father, he has really bad tinnitus!

Here ya go! Lemme know if it helps at all!

Cure tinnitus

its not really a cure.... at least for me. More like 1 minute of silence to remind myself of what silence sounds like.

Then the EEEEEEEEEEE comes back and you realize just how loud and obnoxious it actually is.

! Commenting so I can come back and watch it later, thanks!

That was beautiful.

TIL that tittinus is not the same thing as tetanus
Edit: TIL that tittinus is not the same thing as tinnitus

And yet both of those are different than tinnitus.

Yeah, it's the swelling of the tits.

That would be tittieitis (inflammation of the titties)

Still works, though. Go stab yourself with a rusty nail, then drum on your head for a bit, and you'll be just fine.

Is it pronounced as

Tet-anus

Or

Teta-noose

I'm uh ... Asking for a friend.

I believe tetanus is pronounced tet-nis

Hmm, I never knew that is how you spell it. Always thought it was written as it was pronounced.

That must have sucked punching yourself in the back of the head 30 times while suffering with lockjaw.

TIL tetanus is not the same thing as tet anus.

And yet if you smack yourself hard enough in the back of the head, you can get rid of either.

Gawkbra is not the same Lockjaw!

Also, tetanus is only mastered by inoculation...

Yep. Tetanus can be cured with bone hurting juice.

It's on here : https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/slug/dn552sb

[deleted]

Well, did it get rid of your tinnitus?

[deleted]

i want to put in an overdone pun on tinnitus here but this is where i draw the line

Didn't work for me either. Although mine is what I believe to be pretty mild tinnitus so maybe it only helps for severe cases.

This has never worked for me unfortunately. But how long does the effect help for most?

The longer I do it the longer the effect afterwards, but it usually caps at around 2-3 minutes of golden silence before the ringing returns.

I wonder if a device could be worn that could replicate the drumming effect.

Then you replace your tinnitus with constant drumming. But I'd assume for some people it would be substantially better.

It did work on my second try (about 3 mins silence, 10 mins before it was back in full). The only thing that I did the second time that wasn't in the video was to put pressure on my ears then lighten up a little, just to where I felt a little suction on my eardrums. Hope this helps.

Three minutes, tops.

Doesn't work for me either. I think my is psychological anyway

15-30 seconds for me.

It does not work for me either.

It works for me for few mins but it also makes me feel dizzy and nauseated???

doesn't work for me either but my tinnitus is amplified due to medication i'm on

[Link to the original post.] (https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/3l3uri/comment/cv3474n)

Should be first reply to the top comment. Just look for the gilding.

Sounds interesting. My dad has tinnitus, so I'll let him give it try. Thanks!

This is from a comment from r/gif

Place the palms of your hands over your ears with fingers resting gently on the back of your head. Your middle fingers should point toward one another just above the base of your skull. Place your index fingers on top of you middle fingers and snap them (the index fingers) onto the skull making a loud, drumming noise. Repeat 40-50 times. Some people experience immediate relief with this method. Repeat several times a day for as long as necessary to reduce tinnitus.

They said it's based off of the theory that tinnitus is due to tension in those muscles... beating on them forces them to relax. Sometimes they tense back up quickly but the more you do it, the more relaxed they should stay.

Also, reduce stress, get massages, and work on your posture to help them stay relaxed.

WTF, I thought this was just a thing to make someone look stupid for the NSA when they look at them through their webcam, but it actually worked.

Don't have the link but I'm pretty sure it was given originally by people who dealt with mortar explosions. May help with searching.

TIL I had tinnitus.

IIRC some cases of tinnitus are caused by muscles around that area being too tensed up (I recall reading mostly neck muscles). This way you can massage them into relaxing.

But again, this only works with certain forms of tinnitus.

Yup. It does nothing for me. I can actually make mine 5 times louder by just flexing my jaw muscles or about 2 times louder by making a fist.

Doesn't work for me :( Thankfully I live on a very busy street, so there's always some background noise. The ringing gets especially maddenning at night and outside of town.

Doesn't work for me and make it worse. Have this constant buzz almost 20 years. It becomes more distinct and maddening when I pay attention. Best remedy for me is distraction. For those who happily cured. I think the trick is in temporary deafening on a particular sound range. So no final cure but great help.

As a person who suffers from almost constant tinnitus, I've found that putting the balls of your hands on your hands facing your hands towards the back of your head, as described above, and snapping your fingers instead gives a longer relief than if you were to lightly drum

I've found that putting the balls of your hands on your hands facing your hands towards the back of your head

I... what? I've tried to read this five times and have no idea what it means.

Seems quite simple. Take your hands, turn them so they're facing your second pair of hands, and then place the balls of your third pair of hands (that's the area just past the wrist, bottom of the palms) atop your second pair of hands.

What do you mean, you don't have six hands.

i'd high five you but i don't know which hand to use

Right! All I got from the first sentence was hands...'balls of your hands on your hands, facing your hands' I've only got two hands so don't think this tip is relevant to me.

This is what I think he means. Basically have your hands covering your ears whilst having them aimed towards the other hand on the back side of your skull. Then snap your fingers (aka your thumb and index finger)

I think the second "hands" was supposed to be "ears". So it reads:

I've found that putting the balls of your hands on your [ears], facing your hands towards the back of your head (as described above) and snapping your fingers [works better].

That said, I'm not sure what the "balls of your hands" are. Maybe it's like the balls of your feet? So, like, the soft pad in your palm (under your thumb)?

It went away for all of 2 seconds. Am I doing it wrong?

don't have tinnitus but i still just tried that. it sounded nice.

You didn't have tinnitus after? Cured!!

Another one is "imagine in your mind the sane sound you are hearing. As soon as your mind reproduces it, stop thinking about it."

FWIW, searching on mobile works exactly the same as searching on desktop

u/MindOfMetalAndWheels

maybe?

Thank you so much, I've been dealing with an awful ringing and pressure on my ear for a couple weeks now, and never thought I'd have tinnitus. I've never been so grateful for silence in my life!

I remember this, I gave this advice to a colleague who complained her husband keeps the radio on loud when going to bed because of tinnitus. Unfortunately I never asked her if it worked, and now she left the job.

Alternatively, you could get an iPod, some earbuds, and become the next baby driver.

Holy shit it actually works!

"That's how you get tinnitus."

I've had tinnitus for as long as I can remember due to an inner ear problem as a child. It's never bothered me - hell, I use it as a calming technique (focusing in on the ringing) when I'm anxious or can't fall asleep.

Funnily enough, didnt realize that it was an abnormal thing/malady until I saw that same askreddit post a while back, by then well into adulthood. Just figured everyone had that constant underlying background ring/hum. Trying it out blew my mind. I've been so used to that steady, warbling static that to suddenly be free of it (albeit briefly) was delightful and a bit unsettling. Similar to how it felt to learn that some people hear an internal voice when reading.

I have done the tehnique on rare occasions since then, to try and re-experience the rush goosebumps lol.

[deleted]

Nope. I certainly don't, anyhow. There was a thread ages ago that turned me onto the fact.

I didn't even know I had an issue but after doing that it feels so clear. Thanks for the tip

You sure this wasn't on the Edgar Wright AMA for Baby Driver? I remember seeing a similar comment thread...

My ears have been ringing lately and now it's totally gone! Thank you so much!

It semi-relieves it for me. I still hear it butt way softer.

I wish I knew this for my military medical exam. Did not pass because my tinnitus was acting up during the hearing part and it had the same pitch as the test. So I failed the test.

Guys if you work in a loud workplace. Even if your boss does not wear hearing protection and everybody else does not either. Does not mean you should not either. I only realised this when it was too late. Be early.

Wait, this actually helps you for more than 5 seconds? How long are you doing this for? I've never gotten anything more than momentary relief from this.

Sometimes it's momentary, sometimes it lasts hours. If it doesn't last, I do it again and hope for a longer-lasting one. Usually works.

What is this sorcery?

Baby is that you?

I read advice on that a couple years ago or so, everytime my ears randomly ring a bit i always remember to do that, one of the best tricks i learned from reddit. Only takes me about 10 seconds of doing that to clear it up.

I just watched the linked video. Do you (or are the instructions) to cup your ears as well?

I get occasional tinnitus, thanks!

I remember that! It helps probably 95% of the time, and the other 5% is special circumstances.

BuzzFeed did a video on this. It was amazing

Holy fucking shit

Wow just did this, it feels like I was underwater but then surfaced. I can actually hear a little better. Or at least I think I can hear a little better

Place the palms of your hands over your ears with fingers resting gently on the back of your head. Your middle fingers should point toward one another just above the base of your skull. Place your index fingers on top of you middle fingers and snap them (the index fingers) onto the skull making a loud, drumming noise. Repeat 40-50 times. Some people experience immediate relief with this method. Repeat several times a day for as long as necessary to reduce tinnitus.Dr. Jan Strydom, of A2Z of Health, Beauty and Fintess.org.

Iirc, it was an AskReddit comment that gave advice which drove away tinnitus that I'd had for years. It was really weird advice, too. Basically lay your hands flat over your ears, resting fingers along the curve of your skull so that your middle fingers point at each other, then put your index fingers over top of your middles, and flick them back down into their normal position so that they drum lightly on your head. Repeat 20 or 30 times, then uncover your ears.

I have no idea why this works, but it was magical relief, and clears up that painful noise whenever it arises.

(I don't have a link, and am on mobile, so searching for one is tricky.)

Gonna need a visual please

I'm going to have to try this.

Holy shit. I need to try this tonight.

Yeah but it only works for a little bit. :/

I remember this! And I remember someone commenting under it something like "holy shit I just tried this and it stopped my tinnitus which I had for years!!!"

Maybe that was you. Also I remembered it being a thread about the film Baby Driver but I could be wrong.

I love you and thank you.

It doesn't work :(

Isn't that the post that got gilded like 60 times?

I cannot thank you enough for this. I had almost missed this and I just tried it and am honestly crying I'm so happy right now. I don't know why this works but holy smokes! That stupid "eeeeeewooosheeeeee" is gone. For now at least.

MeIRL: Don't have tinnitus, want to try technique, concerned it will give me tinnitus.

what the fuck is this magic

lol I remember. You cried like a bitch lol

It's in the recent body hacks one. And I agree I have issues with ringing in my ears after a bad reaction to some medication and every now and then it comes back I just cover my ears and tap for a few it's saved my sanity

Worked. Nice.

Read the same comment, feel the same about comment. Makes a big difference

https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/3l3uri/these_guys_lighting_a_mortar_shell_in_their_garage/cv3474n/

Oh my God thank you.

Could you make pictures please!!

I remember that one. There was a separate post on it (maybe in LPT?) that I gilded it because it gave me some much needed relief. Sadly, it was deleted because it was considered "medical advice."

What is tinnitus?

Condition in which a person hears a constant buzzing or ringing in their ears, despite nothing being around to cause such a sound.

Usually it's the result of damage to the ears (really loud sounds, etc.), but can be a lifelong condition of some people.

I saw this too. Some people were saying it was only temporary or it made theirs worse, though. So I guess use at your own risk/discretion.

Thank you so much? Holy shit

u/MindOfMetalAndWheels

I have found the original comment albeit it wasn't in this subs

https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/3l3uri/these_guys_lighting_a_mortar_shell_in_their_garage/cv3474n/

Yea that was from the body life hacks one that was within the last week.

http://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70n7rh/what_are_some_cool_life_hacks_of_our_bodies/dn4l79a

Holy fuck it works

I rememeber something like that, still use it today.

Holy crap it worked.

I saw that ost but never tried it. I have had it for 40 years and it drives me crazy at times. how long does it go away for?

Holy fuck I remember that. It was on the baby driver ama

I don't have tinnitus, but this is still amazing. Thank you for sharing

Gonna test this on my girlfriend later

this is a godsend. Thank you anonymous internet person

...you're my hero.

I've had tinnitus for about ten years from listening to my music (ear buds) way too loudly. I don't know how to say this without sounding fake, but this shit fucking WORKED! I'm in total shock!

Oh god the relief!

Oh it's back, but much quieter.

Wow! Thank you!

Thank you for your service

what the fuck.......... I feel at peace.

Really helped a bunch of people out. It's funny that it actually stemmed from /r/wtf Here is thelink

Thank you so much!

FUCK THIS I CANT MOVE MY FINGERS THAT WAY AND AM NOW ANGRY ABOUT THAT grrrrrr

edit: ok i got it and can calm down now

I was blown up a couple of times in Afghanistan and have pretty bad tinnitus. Bad enough were I get hearing aids to combat it.

For me, personally, this trick was great, until about 20 seconds after flicking myself in the back of the head and the ringing came back. Those 20 seconds were magical, though, but just overall not worth it.

It worked!! Omg, thank you.

The fuck it worked!

I'm going to ask my uncle to try this.

clears up that painful noise whenever it arises.

So, your tinnitus isn't there all the time? It's painful when it pops up?

I think we have different kinds of tinnitus, and that this method doesn't do anything if you damaged your hearing from loud noises.

Used to be there all the time. Now it just pops back occasionally, because I know how to make it go away.

Holy shit it worked. I love you

hey, I remeber that post and I do this too!

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Drunk Me needs to remember this.

Talkative Me needs to remember this.

ecstasy me needs to remember this

Me when I'm trying to fill every silence needs to remember this

Yeah, about that what if I don't know how to converse in the first place? Ain't applicable this shizz

I wish my coworkers would remember this. I have to sit in a lot of car rides with coworkers where they just talk and talk and talk so I know a lot of stuff about a lot of my coworkers that I would rather not know.

People tell me their secrets within hours (sometimes less) of meeting me. Things I don't even want to know. I'm good at keeping secrets, but they don't have any way to know that when they start spilling the beans.

I don't know if I just have an aura of trustworthiness or what but every single person I've ever befriended has told me some really personal shit before they had any basis of knowing I could be trusted with that information

I don't talk much so maybe that's it?

Can confirm. I've always been an extremely outgoing person who can hold a conversation with just about anything.... And I really didn't want to hear some of the fucked up shit people open up to me about on a regular basis

Which websites do you usually visit when you are bored of reddit?

Ended up being an amazing list of some of the best websites out there. Not sure how many of them exist or are any good anymore, though, as the threads kind of old in internet terms.

I'll go ahead and paraphrase to save people the time:

This comment from /u/SaidinWoT was extremely helpful in allowing me to find websites to use that aren't wasteful:

  • khanacademy.org - Watch thousands of micro-lectures on topics ranging from history and medicine to chemistry and computer science!
  • freerice.com - Help end world hunger by correctly answering multiple-choice quizzes on a wide variety of subjects!
  • fuckinghomepage.com - LINKS TO FUCKING AWESOME SHIT THAT CHANGE EVERY MOTHERFUCKING DAY.
  • artofmanliness.com - Blog/site dedicated to all things manly, great for learning life skills and good insights.
  • unplugthetv.com - Randomly selects an educational video to watch instead of useless drivel.
  • coursera.org - Educational site that works with universities to get their courses on the internet, free for you to use!
  • lizardpoint.com - A collection of browser-based games and the like to improve knowledge of geography, math, and such.
  • ted.com - Collection of TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) talks in which knowledgable speakers address a variety of topics in short videos (< 18 minutes)
  • lifehacker.com - Learn to hack life! Tips and tricks for improving all areas of your life.
  • lifehackninja.com - Recently started life hack site that offers lists of useful knowledge.
  • good.is/infographics - (Note: /u/gerbalgerbal typo'd to /inforgraphics, which does exist but isn't much of anything) Collection of infographics to get some good information in an easy to digest visual format.
  • mathrun.net - Practice your basic math skills with a simple game
  • justinguitar.com - Hundreds of free guitar lessons as well as some basic music theory.
  • duolingo.com - Learn a new language for free while helping to translate the web!
  • memrise.com - Learn things quickly and efficiently with flashcards that are spaced based on the spacing effect
  • cookingforengineers.com - A site containing one man's explorations in food, with step by step instructions for making a wide variety of dishes.
  • thedatingspecialist.com - A weekly blog run by a professional dating coach, offers advice on a wide variety of relationship topics.
  • zenhabits.net - Blog about improving your life by making it simpler.
  • nerdfitness.com - Fitness resource for the average person.
  • mentalfloss.com - Articles meant to expose you to interesting info, whether to "make you smile" or to really get you thinking.
  • openculture.com - Compendium of free learning resources, including courses, textbooks, and videos/films.
  • givewell.org - better (?) version of charitynavigator (from /u/Cruithne)
  • charitynavigator.org - Site dedicated to reviewing charities so you can easily research any you might be interested in and see how they hold up.
  • lettersofnote.com - Their tagline does better than I can: "Correspondence deserving of a wider audience"
  • thedailymiscellany.com - On the opposite end of the vulgarity spectrum from fuckinghomepage.com, a daily dose of useful knowledge, quotes, and other random things.

Adding in some suggestions from elsewhere in the thread (sorry if I missed any):

  • MIT Open Courseware - Free access to quite a few MIT courses that are on par with what you'd expect from MIT. (from /u/1900david)
  • codecademy.com - Pretty nice website with introductory courses for various programming languages and web technologies. (from /u/Archaya (and others, Archaya just replied directly to this post))
  • investopedia.com - Learn about the world of finance, from basic terminology to in depth analysis of various areas of investing. (from /u/IAmNotAPerson6)
  • udacity.com - Free courses mainly focused around mathematics and programming. Aimed at people of all skill levels, redditors really seem to like it (I've never actually tried it). (from /u/veggie124 (and possibly others))
  • lang-8.com - Write posts in a language you're trying to learn, get them critiqued by a native speaker (and in turn help that native speaker learn your language)! (from /u/smallpoly)
  • careerbuilder.com - Job hunting site meant to help you find a career. Rather aptly named. (from /u/NOT_ACTUALLYRELEVANT)
  • ureddit.com - Reddit's very own University! Learn from fellow redditors, or try to teach them. (from /u/Gr1pp717)
  • engineerguy.com - Collection of videos in which Bill breaks down various feats of engineering in layman's terms. (from /u/Bovisaurus)
  • zooniverse.org - Take part in investigating various interesting studies of nature, science, and culture. (from /u/velawesomeraptors)
  • quora.com - Ask questions you're curious about, answer those you're knowledgable about. Tailor your own feed to fit what interests you. (from /u/virjog)
  • aldaily.com - Aggregation of articles from various higher education journals and publications. (from /u/Hesprit)
  • noexcuselist.com/everything - A convenient list of lots of awesome sites to learn from. Includes pretty much everything listed here, helpfully grouped into categories. Hover over links to get descriptions that may or may not beat out mine! (from /u/figureEIGHTS)
  • ~~livemocha.com - Community dedicated to the idea of everyone being fluent in multiple languages, teach or be taught another language with the goal of conversational fluency. (from /u/bearfiesta)~~
  • clozemaster.com - language learning through mass exposure to vocabulary in context (from /u/wakawakafoobar)
  • simplesciencefitness.com - Breaking down the science behind fitness into layman's terms. (from /u/lapiak)
  • opencourser.com - Find online courses from the world's leading schools and universities. (from /u/massiveXo)
  • coolmath4kids.com - Math and Games for Kids, Teachers and Parents (from /u/DaShmooZoo)
  • documentaryheaven.com - features nothing but documentaries (from /u/Lt_LetDown)
  • spacebuckets.com - a community that teaches DIY gardening with LEDs. (from /u/Ekrof)

TBC:

This is a comment made by redditor /u/bigwax so all credit goes to him!

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Music & Sound

Education

Rip my grooveshark playlists :(

[removed]

There were some songs and remixes on there I could never find anywhere else.

This is huge. How can I go about doing that? There's a couple gems that I will never remember by name

how where??? I thought most recovery methods were officially dead?

Please... I need this

They will always remain alive in your heart. <3

Word. I logged in to jam out while I was getting ready for work and saw the dreadful note. :(

Art of Manliness is an awesome project. The podcast, the articles. They have an app now, too. It could be easy to misconstrue its purpose by title alone, but, ladies, it's very female friendly too. Give it a try.

Agreed. I've been reading it for years and am surprised by the maintenance of quality. Not all the articles/podcasts interest me, but they're all generally done well. I find it a sort of oasis in the midst of a world of clickbait trash.

Alas, Grooveshark is no more.

IMSLP.org is a website dedicated to storing many many pages of open source sheet music and recordings that you can download and print as you like. It is quite useful in my experience.

For example, here is Gershwin's 'Rhapsody in Blue'.

I've used songbpm for finding BPMs for a while now.

I wonder if bigwax was Wax, the musician/rapper who goes by Big Wax, too. He's one of the best rappers of all time IMO. And he's hilarious. Love the dude.

While simplynoise/rainymood was good and simple back in the day I prefer mynoise now because of the variety it offers and the creator is a quite cool dude!

r/threadkillers

[removed]

Other

Meta Reddit

Wikipedia is always great because there is so much info. Try these to start.

Astronomy Picture of the Day Pretty self explanatory, very pretty pictures.

Essential mix link is dead

Crossed out. I probably wont be able to keep up with all of the bad links as people find them, though. (especially since I'm going to bed soon) And like I mentioned originally: the thread is 4 years old, and things change pretty fast online. But I imagine there's still plenty of value to be found in it all.

Goodbye real world.. Hello Internet ~~

Grooveshark is dead now unfortunately :(

Just want to point out that KhanAcademy is so much more than math and science. I studied a shitload of modern art through their virtual lectures.

MixCloud is like SoundCloud for DJ mixes.

Is there an archive to access the Essentials Mix database?

Grooveshark no longer works. I had so many good playlists...

Wow TIL plug.dj is back in operation. Dunno if I want to join again, after it died my enthusiasm for it died too :(

Quick update, livemocha does not work anymore, sadly...

010101000110100001100001011011100110101101110011

awesome post

I use plug.dj almost every day at this point

Saw DI.fm and had to comment. If you like electronic music, you need to check it out. Been listening to DI.fm for about 13 years and I am still not disappointed with it.

Dude yes. You've made my day.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

plug.dj is so fun. My teammates at work use it for funsies and we get a taste of everyone's kind of music.

Wow, what a list

This man or woman deserves a gold

Misread cooking for engineers as cooking foreigners. Got a bit worried that Hannibal Lecter had joined the KKK.

You misspelled 'excited'

I ate his liver with some bush's baked beans and an Old Milwaukee. YEEEEE HOOOOOO!!!

Oh, looks like there's some space dust in there.

It says Cooking For Foreigners.

blows off more dust

It says 'Cooking Forty Foreigners!'

I don't mind if you eat people, but God forbid you're racist

Please don't eat the tasty people.

Best Dr. Seuss books ever.

Laughed way too hard at this.

:( looks like livemocha is gone:

"You have been redirected to Rosetta Stone. Unfortunately, the Livemocha community has been permanently closed."

Would have seriously loved that for someone to practice hebrew with.

You can try Hello Talk

There's also a couple of Hebrew discord channels around which are a good start for casual gaming chat to other more serious topics

It was such a good website!

Out of curiosity, are you learning hebrew for religious or academic reasons?

[deleted]

I'll add it to the list, so the next time it's repeated it gets included.

Can I just add, fuck Charity Navigator? They support ineffective charities and belittle those who support effective ones. If you're looking for a similar but better site try GiveWell.

Now I can procrastinate even harder. Thanks!

documentaryheaven.com features nothing but documentaries

TIL what TED stands for

What does it stand for?

Technology, Entertainment, and Design

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TED_(conference)

It's impossible to get bored of Reddit though.

This is way too many options for me. I'm scared and confused and will just stay on Reddit for a while longer where I feel safe

TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) talks

TIL that "TED" is an acronym and what it means. I thought it was created by a guy named Ted who just liked to emphasize his name.

...sadly, I'm serious.

I'll give a shout out for Unf*ck Your Habitat http://unfuckyourhabitat.com for getting your personal environs into manageable order. Organization for non-OCD people (or OCD people who live in the nothing end of "perfect or nothing" thinking).

Another possible hit for you:

Curly's Gold

MyFridgeFood is pretty useful too

Duolingo is good. I use the app. I'm learning Irish at the moment. I couldn't speak it but I might be able to read a basic sentence lol.

livemocha.com is dead and redirected to rosettastone

Check out www.spacebuckets.com too! It is a community that teaches DIY gardening with LEDs.

010101000110100001100001011011100110101101110011

0100111001101111001000000111000001110010011011110110001001101100011001010110110100100001

Binary translated: No problem!

Clozemaster would be a great addition for learning a language, https://www.clozemaster.com.

You forgot Coolmath4kids

Ok, this will change my life, much thank

this is amazing

Sporcle.com is another one to add to this list

Remember this

Livemocha doesn't exist in its original form anymore.

where the hell is altasobscura

there is another website that you can learn how to code other than codeacademy and its sololearn.com

The real AskReddit is always in the comments.

I need to go back to this list later, therefore I comment.

Duolingo has High Valarian but not Mandarin...

That's a coincidence I stumbled across Khan Academy yesterday

Add in Badassoftheweek.com

Lots of cool stories about badasses of history

I miss grooveshark :(

This is great, cheers!

Well this is the LAST thing I need!

...Saved. :-(

The Foundation is always welcoming those who are interested in protecting the world from itself

Commenting to remember

Or we can pick up a book and read it!!

I'm really sad that Livemocha is gone. All I remember are a few words in Russian and Finnish, but it was nice to have a free resource to any language that I wanted to learn!

I love the art of manliness! And I have the book - good stuff! Thanks for all of the links , too! I can't wait to check them out.

Amazing sites ! Love fuckinghomepage

I'll just upvote this so i could come back later

[This is a fun one] (Https://feminism.lgbt)

Livemocha is RIP, I really wanted to learn Russian :(

I added a new link just below it that's similar. https://www.clozemaster.com/ suggested by /u/wakawakafoobar

TIL: TED is an acronym

Curiosity.com is also a worthy daily stop. Science, psychology, history, lifehacks...

Bless your soul! I love it when Redditors make things easy for everyone.

Great list! Thank you!

Here's two sites I love that I don't see listed here, might be useful to add:

Future me - https://www.futureme.org/ - Send a letter to yourself in the future!

Ask a Manager - http://www.askamanager.org/ - Great job advice and help website.

Thank you for the fucking homepage link. I am now Alice, falling down the rabbit hole. It's fucking crack!

Don't mind me, just commenting so I can come back and check these out when I have time.

Thanks for the list.

Gonna say pornhub 😑 but those are good too 🙄

In the original linked thread there are a bunch of porn related links.

It is all tepid shit. Add something with excitement. Lik some place where people take turns at cussing each other out.

I really like threads about scary/paranormal/mystery stories. Here are all the posts I've saved over the years. Also if you have more to add feel free to leave a reply. Thanks!

What's your favorite unsolved mystery?

What are some scary older askreddit threads that would be interesting to read through?

Reddit, what are some of the most mysterious posts ever put on this site?

What is the absolute creepiest thing that has happened on the internet?

Bonus /r/threadkillers quality comment.

What is the single freakiest unexplainable experience you've ever had in your life that to this day you are still unable to figure out a logical explanation for what you believe happened?

What is the creepiest"glitch in the matrix"you've experienced?

What's the creepiest TRUE story that happened to you or someone you know?

What is the creepiest thing to happen in the history of Reddit?

What are some weird, real-life X-files type mysteries?

What is the creepiest and most unexplainable paranormal experience you've ever had?

What is the creepiest thing that has ever ACTUALLY happened to you?

What is the scariest image/story/video floating around the internet today?

What is a famous urban legend of your country or town?

Redittors who worn a lot of time in seclusion (at sea, in the air, or out in the wilderness) what's the creepiest or most mysterious thing you've seen found out experienced?

What is the creepiest missing person case you know about?

What is the scariest/most disturbing creepypasta?

[deleted]

You should check this out then, https://www.reddit.com/r/Paranormal/comments/3ep2f1/my_huge_collection_of_paranormalthemed_askreddit/?compact=true

Awesome, thanks.

I can't remember the name of the posts or the user that posted them but there's a really good story about some creepy stairs in the middle of woods. I wish I could find it but it's amazing to read!

This was a mistake.

I know how you feel. I see the links and I'm like "should I?" Who the fuck am I kidding though, I'm totally going to read them all.

Yuup.i read them all. Threads within thread.i dug up everything.(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[A larger collection compiled by] (https://www.reddit.com/r/hubposts/comments/6qi5mb/collection_of_scaryspookycreepy_askreddit_threads/) /u/mysterious_baker

I also check this out

thank you, i love these

I actually love you for this. Google is bullshit.

How are these useful though?

Well if you ever wanted to experience anxiety, or even just insomina, it would go some way to help you experience it.

I didn't want any of that. But I wasted 2 hrs reading these.now I will have nightmares. on top of this I live alone. Fuck this shit.enough reddit for today.

A couple years back, someone answered "what's your shitty life hack" with something along the lines of this:

If you lay a sheet or two of toilet paper at the top of the water, it reduces splashbacks of number two by a lot due to the increased surface tension.

I still do this to this day.

This is also good if you need to poop in a busy public restroom and don't want anyone to hear.

If you don't want anyone to hear you shitting in a public restroom, simply scream at the top of your lungs to cover the sound.

Folks at /r/ShittyLifeProTips will enjoy this.

Somebody should make a YouTube channel dedicated to acting out /r/shittylifeprotips, for science

Then they would just be another form of Buzzfeed.

/r/ShittingLifeProTips

FTFY

Or /r/LifeAmateurTips but it's not as active.

In Japan new toilets have a button to activate the flushing sound

Who does number two work for?!

Thing is, I like to make lots of noise when having a shit in a public restroom. I'd like to think I get in to peoples heads when they start thinking "What the hell has he eaten?"

I've been using this method for a couple of years now and can confirm that it works.

I like to call it a fire blanket

Ooooh! I like this idea.

Or play the Macarena VERY LOUDLY

thanks for karma

And this made me laugh out loud in a public restroom. Laughing blocks the sounds too.

Haha, I'm sitting on an airplane laughing uncontrollably, at this comment. I think is it's the first comment to ever make me do that.

I just fart like an elderly diesel generator so that no-one can hear the splash.

Have hemroids. Can confirm screaming covers the sound.

https://youtu.be/vSK3maq8Cyk

The mental image I got of this was hilarious.

relevant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSK3maq8Cyk

This is useless for me. My firecracker asshole gives me away.

Edit: obligatory PAPAPA

That's easy to fix. Just don't use the seat and make sure your butthole is below the water.

From the next stall over:
"What the hell is that noise...? They installed a jacuzzi in the office bathroom?!"

And the soothing sounds of whale song

Windsong of Ass Mountain?

One meta day

If you are in the next stall over--that isn't rain you are feeling.

ye olde butt bubbler

Ya ever blow bubbles into a soda with your straw?

This snuck up on me, snorted

For some reasons, this reminded me of the delivery scene from Apocalypto.

No worries, I'll just stretch my arsehole down another foot so it can reach under the water.

There's an easier method. Take off one of your shoes and crap into that. Make sure you've got a tight seal.

First time I literally laughed out load on reddit. Thank you comical stranger

This is why I'm gun shy in public restrooms. I find it both funny and gross that someone else is machine gunning beside me so I try to wait them out in case my ass decides it wants to play along. I never know what to expect so I wait them out to save the internal embarrassment.

The worst is when you are waiting each other out. It's like a bathroom cold war

The other day in the work restroom, no sooner had I flushed when I hear a ripping liquid menace begin from the stall beside me. I'm fairly sure the dude there was trying to camouflage his anal emission under the sounds of my flush.

I wanted to crack a joke across stalls but decided to just get out as the smell was pretty nasty.

Sucks when you start having ass contractions though. Sometimes you are forced to let the train leave the station.

The horror when you are peeing at the urinal and one of those loud 'squeak' farts escapes.

Dude if you can't fart in a restroom when will you fart? It's probably one of the only acceptable place to rip one off in public. Next time you pee don't squeak it out like a preteen gym sneaker, let it roar like a leaf blower own that fart.

This is exactly how you shit yourself

Well since I obviously have my pants all the way down, I'll just shit directly onto the guy washing his hand behind me.

But it's fine since you're in the bathroom, it's acceptable in there.

First this guy only has one hand and now he has shit all over him. He can't catch a break.

maybe if he didn't use his hand to catch the shit he could have caught the break

why are your pants all the way down at a urinal...

/s my dude

lampshading is opaque I guess

Now I'm clear that we should pull our pants all the way down to pee, but is poop supposed to spray out in fire hydrant style?

Yours doesn't?

Lock eyes with him afterward and nod.

Luckily you're in a bathroom, the acceptable place to shit.

Friendly reminder that you shouldn't shit all over your pants even if you're in a restroom

Don't tell me how to live my life

Bullshit. Nobody's ever told me I can't do that...so I'll keep doing it.

I thought this was a restroom!

The real LPTs are always in the comments

Idk if it cause I'm high, but that brought me to tears of joy. Thank you kind friend for that.

And at least one advantage to being a woman...

If this is an issue for you, you should take a look at your diet.

As someone who has weathered more than his fair share of GI issues, trust me, it’s a work in progress.

Dude not only does your comment motivate me, but it also made me wake up my 3 yo up because I laughed out loud.

when will you fart?

fucking everywhere, in my experience as a female observer of males.

Upon completion of a successful and accident free leaf blower like fart, let out a sigh of 'uh oh' and if the guy next to you looks at you; make eye contact and hold it for as long as he's willing.

Then wash your hands and walk away. He'll be stunned and wondering about you for a good hour or two.

You know, if you enjoy fucking with people that is.

And make sure you set your phone to 'record'. You can save a year worth of that shit and make an epic recording. Please be careful when forwarding by email.

Highly relevant https://youtu.be/T8yhBLOAprQ

I've shat myself doin that

Right? I have no qualms about making a racket in a bathroom, that's what it's there for.

That's a great point.

Fart all you want in the bathroom, but don't fart when standing close to another person at the urinal...

This my friends is quality life advice. Always "Let it roar like a leaf blower"

Own it.

I was in a public restroom once. The first stall next to the urinals. Some guy walks in while taking loudly on the phone. He's got the volume up loud and I can hear the person he's taking to as well. It just so happened I had one in the chamber. I pinched it back while clenching my abs to give it some back pressure, a little extra oomph if you will. As the echo reverberated in the all tile room (amazing acoustics in this one restroom in particular) I could hear on the other end "What on earth was-" and heard the phone abruptly click shut. (Yes, this was back in the flip-phone days.)

This had me crying haha.

These things can backfire badly though. One day in the office when my colleague was on the phone I ripped a mighty one that was so loud my colleague went red because the guy he was on the phone to went really quiet.

Imagine my glee later on when another fart was brewing, I planted one arm on each armrest of my chair and got myself extended fully, putting everything I had into this soon to be groundbreaking fart.

Except, there was no fart. There was some poo though. The karma Gods were mocking me as I ran to the toilet to get my boxers off before the shit got through to my trousers.

Never again.

You ruined my anecdote about the same! But I flushed the toilet because I was out of gas!

But it was one of those that doesn't actually hang up. So the other person heard every fart and plopsplash you both made, not to mention the grunts and flushes and the slurps and moans when you all started blowing each other.

[deleted]

If you need to fart there is no better place than the bathroom.

What about the woods?

[removed]

Yeah lemme just take this elevator down 6 floors, leave through the security turnstiles and walk through this lobby to get outside so I can squeak one out real quick

I might not care, but I do notice. I just wonder if they are like me and are dying on the inside or if they are just someone living there life to it's fullest.

Speaking for myself, living life to the fullest. Now I'm cruising through my 40s I'm really developing some killer form. Some of them are like farts produced by Phil Spector.

If i wasn't broke i would gold you.

[deleted]

[deleted]

I'm not /u/GRANDMA_FISTER but even though I fart and make grotesque butt noises I'm still pretty put off by some of the horrendously vivid sounds people can produce with their dirty assholes.

It's the restroom, I full-fledged agree that if there was anywhere for them to feel comfortable to take a massive, unapologetically noisy shit, it's there, but Jesus that does not make me like it or ok with hearing it. My day is at least 2% worse after I hear someone's crackling mudpie crawl its way into existence.

[deleted]

Careful, that's how you get hernias.

You know something, somewhere went wrong in your life if Grandma Fister is the one judging you

I don't think badly of someone, but you better believe that I'm going to snort/laugh.

However, I do care if you moan while pissing. Cut that shit out.

The fact there's people who can't stand it is more the reason for me to let out a loud one whenever I can.

"Aaaaaahhhhh" is the only appropriate followup to urinal flatulence.

No dude. You embrace it at that point. Just let it squeak out and then go "AHHHHHHHHHHH" nice and loud.

I just say, "Did you hear what that asshole said?"

Man, imagine if you two are counter-attacking each other with those explosives deploying rapidly from yesterday's buffet...

Oh I've been there many times I'm sure. I'm not the only one with this condition I'm sure. There have been times, especially at work where I know we are trying to out wait each other. Sometimes I give in but I will usually take the low road and wait them out. It sucks but gtfo!!

Even worse if you finish at the same time so you have to wait for them to leave to avoid having to see each others faces when you get out of the stall

I was like this, too, and then one day I realized ... I don't care. We all shit and fart. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Im just not there yet. Maybe one day. I actually fantasize about it when I'm on the toilet. Like just go for it. But I always chicken out.

it might go like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnc3yadgVqs

Just think how someone made a room especially for this purpose. You will be honoring the plumber who installed that porcelain throne by taking a shit in it.

Next time you enter a crowded public restroom, wait for someone to fart and then call them out on it.

Or try. Odds are you'll feel extremely weird because it's ridiculous to call someone out for shitting in a bathroom.

Remember how that feels the next time you need to fart in a public restroom. That's how everyone else feels.

When I say nobody cares, I mean it with the utmost sincerity. I hold nothing back in bathrooms and I've never even gotten a second glance.

https://youtu.be/cZO9tMetxno

I call that BattleShits.

A beautiful duet

I have to stop myself from giggling at work when I do this. It's a gift to be able to find such a simple thing so funny but also a curse because you look like a lunatic sitting in the bathroom shitting and laughing.

A few weeks ago, one coworker answered his phone in the restroom.

I couldn't resist and I flushed the toilet.

Never answer your phone in a public restroom. Or private, as the echo giveaway that you are in a restroom.

the ting goes skrrra. pap pap ka ka ka. skibidi pap pap & a pu pu drrr boom SKYAAA. du du ku ku tun tun. poom poom

2+2 is 4 minus 1 that's 3, quick maths!!

Of all the places I never expected to see grime memes on reddit

That's the first thing which came to my mind!!

... I'm the scatman?

[removed]

MY friends definitely would have said something!

My friends wipe my butt so I win.

/r/nocontext

Does this guy actually rap or is he just really in to onomatopoeia?

It's a comedy piece poking fun at rappers now.

Upvote for the edit

A fart is just your asshole flapping.

Pull 1 buttcheek up so your asshole stretches a bit and your farts no longer make any noise during a fart.

Sadly, there was no fire in the booth that day. :( FITB has some really impressive freestyles, but that wasn't one of them.

Edit: For anyone who wants to see the whole freestyle in all its stupidity, here it is.

They don't know you got the sauce. No ketchup. Just sauce. Raw sauce.

/r/Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt

can't currently click that link but im willing to bet it's roadman shaq

I know that farts are caused by your butt cheeks smacking together, and if you hold them apart your farts will be silent. Maybe this or something similar could work here?

Doing that makes my farts much louder and better defined. 4K resolution farts

Does this system feature surround sound, as well?

The cheeks isn't the only thing that makes a sound. The asshole itself can smack together at a higher force and frequency than than cheeks producting an even louder fart less muffled by the cheeks. Proceed at your own risk.

Is he trying to freestyle?

What if you just stopped shoving firecrackers up your ass? That might do the trick.

Flush the same time as you splush dude that's the only way. It will drown out the noise. Depending on the type of toilet system you are in you will get anywhere between 20 seconds 45 seconds of time.

I flush as soon as I'm ready to fire. Repeat if necessary.

Boom, yo, kah. De ting goes skrrrrrrrrra, pat pat ka ka ka, skibiki pa pa and a put pu purru bum, skyiah, du du ku kut pun pum, pum pum, ya dun know.

This made me morning. So damn addicting for some reason.

Man's not hot!

I love that damn video!

[deleted]

This a comedy piece poking fun at these kinds of rappers.

Poes law in action

honestly people like you who tell others who aren't in on the joke ruin it for me.

Just shit on the lip of the toilet like everyone else.

We call it taking a ninja dump

Sit on the toilet with your feet on the seat so no one sees you.

That's called battleshits.

First to miss loses. (Or wins, if you really really hate the place you are playing the game)

[deleted]

Busy doesn't necessarily mean loud. Just more people there to hear your pooping.

that was always weird to me. it's a toilet, you're supposed to shit there, why be ashamed of it? also it's public so nobody knows who you are. shit away!

Or because you don't want water from the public restroom on your bottom

What's the root of your poop anxiety?

I would just relief myself since it's a public restroom and I would never see those people ever again. Although I admit I do get self conscious and usually wait for people to leave the restroom completely.

I decided a long time ago to go in the other direction and make it so loud everyone else in there gets uncomfortable and leaves. Makes washing your hands afterwards effortless!

I don't understand this at all. You go in a toilet cubicle and you think someone will think "is he/she... is he POOING IN THERE?! Sweet Jesus, what a disgusting animal!"?

Of course you've having a shit. When I go in to a public toilet I expect (but obviously do not look forward to) fart sounds, poop sounds, piss sounds and the associated smells thereof. I don't expect to hear a guy going TTHHRRRPPP!! Hoo hooo wheeee!! That's a big one! THHHPRPRPRPPP but for christ's sake it doesn't offend my sensibilities if I hear someone taking a dump in a place specifically designed for taking a dump.

It seems to me that it's only ever women that care about this.

My wife cannot poo at work for this reason.

If someone else comes in to a stall nearby, there is kind of a standoff between them. Eventually one of them will just not shit and leave instead, leaving the other in peace to poo.

Why do people care

I still don't understand why people feel the need to shit quietly in public restrooms. I have to shit. If it makes noise so be it. My roommate in college was disgusted with me, and wouldn't talk to me for a week after we both went to the bathroom at the same time. I informed him the girls bathroom was on the next floor down.

Speaking of pooping in public restrooms, if you find yourself in a city and need to go, and no restrooms are around, go to a hotel lobby. Super clean bathrooms and no one will bother you!

i fart while im peeing in a public urinal sometimes just so the guy pooping in the next stall doesnt feel so embarrassed.

Not just sound, it makes it so they are no streaks left behind too! Lol

What about the opposite?

And if the toilet has been cleaned with bleach recently and you don't want bleach splashback.

Why do people care if strangers hear their shit hit the water?

hust. flush to cover up pooping sounds

Lol why would you not want people to hear? If you can't make bathroom noises in the bathroom where are you supposed to do it ? Doesn't everyone poop?

I thought it reduced splashback, wouldn't farts still be heard though?

Or if you don't want every disease on the planet

Does... nobody else try to shit while flushing so the flushing sounds cover all the embarrassing sounds? I found that more useful than covering the toilet well with toilet papers... you never know when a bunch of loud farts can make your toilet paper defence wall so useless.

Can attest. THis works.

Bruh I read this while drunk in a porta potty. Useful shit dawg

I do this too, no longer receiving Poseidon kisses is a godsend

I love a good Poseidon's kiss. It makes my day.

Maybe if you a pinching off a single healthy log. But if it is raining cluster bombs then I'm still catching some wet.

Mmm Poseidon's Spittle

There is still much to fear...in the Witches kiss

[removed]

no it was unbgbictbuvvilutchpy

Wouldn't a kiss from Poseidon be a godsend?

I was not aware so many people shat at a high enough velocity to splash themselves on regular basis.

TIL.

Depends almost entirely on the toilet

[deleted]

You've done worse things you just won't admit it.

[deleted]

Shit son.

EDIT: All the good comments always gets deleted. Why does everyone hate themselves so much?

Worse than shit son.

Blood-in-your-shit son.

Go see a doctor son

Done. Also: That technique really worked!

Relevant username

There isn't even enough water in US toilet bowls to cool that burn.

OMG! Don't you have no mercy?

She has sat on more laps than she has sat on toilet seats.

You forgot to turn his mum upsidedown. She's better that way.

I actually find US toilets better than ours in Australia. Yeah lots of water but the water level is much higher not giving enough drop time to allow for a huge cannonball type splash.

Nah mate. Those American ones are also clog central, was in Hawaii for 10 days and it clogged twice, whilst never happened once in my life back home.

I'll give you that. One of our trips we stayed with a family there, tough conversation asking the mum twice for a plunger.

Do they not keep the plunger near the toilet? Where do they put it that you have to ask for it?

Some people, like my parents, keep the plunger in the basement. Their bathroom is on the second floor (first level above the ground floor). I keep a plunger next to my toilet after learning what a pain it is to go down and up two flights of stairs just to unclog a toilet.

If you're clogging an American style toilet twice in 10 days you are doing something VERY wrong. Mine clogs maybe once every few years. What all are you putting in there?

Our poos are expecting to go the other way round when flushing creating some kinda weird anti spiral effect which creates said clogging.

I did not expect a coriolis joke.

That depends quite a bit on the toilet itself.

Old american toilets (usually installed before about 1990) don't work that great, they flushed by using absurd amounts of water and they tend to clog easily compared to modern toilets. Generally they used a minimum of 3 gallons (11.4L) of water per flush, some used up to 7 gallons (26.5L).

Newer low-flush toilets (<1.6 Gal/flush (4.8L)) are designed significantly better and generally clog far less often. About 1990 low flush toilets became the normal toilets. Their use became the standard by Federal law in 1992.

I always see American posts about needing a plunger. I don't get it, 39yo Australian and I've never used a plunger in my life. Wtf is wrong with American toilets?

Maybe we just have huge shits in America. I probably use a plunger at least once every two weeks.

How much toilet paper are we talking? Or are your clogs purely shit-caused?

Usually its the size of the shit. Though sometimes its a combination

As an American who went to London and clogged quite a few toilets on my trip and hardly clog any here. Gotta say, I like the US ones.

There is a bit of an art to using British toilets and that is to press the flush as hard as you can to get the water flowing the fastest as it uses the force of the water to flush the waste away, rather than suction like American toilets do.

Interesting. Someone needs to make a post aggregating different countries toilets. Break them down by style, size, water usage, how they work, and how to use them. If someone did this for 15 major countries I would buy them gold.

It would be interesting. I only know that the US uses a lot more water than most European toilets, and that other countries have stand over toilets.

To quote Kenny: "This is a classic case of someone having a two inch arsehole and us only having installed one inch piping!"

On the flip side, I've been in the same apartment for 10 years and it's never clogged once.

The water level there is so high that I'm cautious of my private parts touching the water. Not to mention the odd times when front access is required.

But wouldn't that make a soothing Poseidon's kiss that much easier?

Yeah! At home my toilet has a poop shelf so I never have a splash and then I went to the US...

The poop shelf is the worst. Having your poop sit out completely exposed to the air increases the smell exponentially. Plus skid marks.

But how else are you going to snap the 8.5 Couric shit you took...

That is the beauty of American toilets. The bottom/pipe area is pretty shallow, so your poop just hangs out exposed in the bowl underwater for ideal non-smelly viewing. Agree that most European toilets (other than the German/Austrian poop-shelf style) do not really maximize viewing potential. It should be noted that those toilets never clog, but do lend themselves to skid marks as the surface area of the water is not great.

Poop shelf? So it doesn't land straight in the water? At least the water gives the sticky ones a little chance of sliding in.

Austria or Germany?

Swamp Germany

You know you're not supposed to swim in them, right?

Yes, holyshit. I had the same issue in the states.

Literally only seen these in public toilets. Don't blame us, blame the companies that make and sell those toilets to other companies.

[deleted]

[deleted]

ಠ_ಠ

Relax, us Americans call it "milkshakes"

And no more than 30g of saturated water

drinking fat, you say?

"It's a little gross"

My curiosity is killing me.

Go for it, it's one of the most upsetting stories by Junji Ito, everyone's favorite horror manga artist.

Could go on r/popping or r/trypophobia easily

Well now I'm definitely not reading it. I'm glad I said something first.

So is your shit like water then?

Just a little life tip, even though it's sort of clear the bottle that says "canola oil" isn't actually water.

My own studies have found the length of the turd is the deciding factor. Short turds dont break surface tension of the water before droppin from yo anus and splashing everywhere, but good longer poops slowly and majestically descend into the water so that even once you pinch it off it is already smoothly slipping beneath the surface = no splash.

So eat your activia and bring your squatty-potty and that splashin shit wont happen!

'squatty-potty' - just giggled loudly in a lecture

squatty-potty

The Squatty Potty...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q

Yeah, you want it ropey.

You clever bastard

The massive amount of beer doesn't help.

Well, in general, IBS and alcohol dont mix well.

A friend of mine had this weird toilet where you shat on disk, as big as a large platter, that started to rotate when you flushed splatting the shit on the walls of the toilet.

Could someone please find or explain this device to me!?

I'm impressed that you got gilded for this

I like that you were gilded for this comment.

r/nocontext

hey, I just gave your comment the +1 it needed to reach 1000

It's not about the velocity. It's about the mass of your product.

Edit: there's some serious poop physics at work here.

Isn't momentum a function of velocity and mass? So your output mass has potential energy at the anal section. When it drops and makes contact with the water with some velocity and mass, Newtons 2nd law comes into play and water is splashed back. So the splash is dependant on both velocity and mass.

Dude but we never eject poop at a velocity we just drop it. It's the gravitational pull that gives it the velocity

you ever seen that girl in the tub video? that's some velocity right there

Potential energy at our ass is mgh, right? Then at x distance from the bottom it has energy of mgx+0.5mv^2. I was thinking of that velocity v. Its been 2 years since my applied mechanics (dynamics) so I may be wrong on my understanding.

Yeah I know, I just said that value of v=0, since our intestines cannot do work upon to poop to accelerate it.

Maybe you don't, but occasionally it will be expelled with some force to propel it. Usually because of some gas trapped behind it.

Gas needs to expand to be able to do the work on a poop to accelerate it, I'm pretty sure we just drop it after it is propelled forward by peristalysis.

I can create pressure on the gas behind the poop in the same way I can forcefully expel a fart rather than just let it seep out.

Yeah but you can see for yourself that you can't do the work required to 'accelerate' a poop. When you fart, you sort of push the gas out of your butt forcefully and it has so little capacity to do work that it can only push your butt cheeks for a fraction of a second and then they come back in place and this repeats, and it happens fast enough that it produces a sound. This little capacity cannot accelerate the poop which is (A) heavy (B) slowed down by the viscosity of fluids surrounding the large intestinal chamber. (I'm not saying poop is heavier than buttcheeks but moving them aside for a literal fraction of a second and pushing to cause acceleration require vastly different amounts of energy)

and it has so little capacity to do work that it can only push your butt

That's an unsubstantiated claim and I have experienced direct evidence to the contrary. I'm not saying there's any distance records being threatened, but gravity is not always the only component to a poop's acceleration from the bung hole.

What direct evidence may I ask? The different amounts of splash at different instances can be accounted for by differring depths of commodes, mass and volume of the turd dropped.

Edit: It may acquire some velocity in liquid phase but that is not when it splashes. Just defecate in a Squat Toilet once and you'll realize where I am coming from.

Well the second law is more applicable to small * fast poop = big * slow poop. Water splashing back is Newton's third law. Any dropped turd will have an equal and opposite splash back.

So essentially, the toilet paper trick breaks the law of thermodynamics.

There has never been a better candidate for r/shittyscience

Newton's 2nd Law is F=ma, you're looking for the 3rd Law.

I was thinking more of a M×V=m1v1+m2v2. Correct me if I'm wrong isn't that applicable here?

F=ma works fine here as well. Mass of dump and exit speed are the only factors in the force of the poop, assuming air resistance is negligible of course.

All the laws kinda overlap anyway.

I would say kinetic energy is what gives the biggest splash, and it rises as the square of the velocity. So even a small turd moving at high speed will create an explosive splash. Google varmint hunting videos to see what a small projectile athigh speed can do (NSFL).

BOOM. ~~LAWYERED~~ SCIENTIST-RRED

Turns out I was not right completely.

Its about impact so it's about both mass and the potential energy of the poop. A long really heavy poop will not splash, but a medium sized short one will create a big splash.

Source: An engineer who has pondered deeply on this.

The mass of the ass and the angle of the dangle

It's not about mass. It's about the density.

Diarrhea doesn't have splashback?

Everyone else is forgetting to account for poop cross section: the topography of the poop will have an impact on the splash

Poseidon's kiss.

Poseidons kiss.

It's even got a game, poseidan's kiss.

Regardless if I'm playing on home soil or away, I always wipe the seat, so I inadvertently have been life hacking for years.

Wiping's not enough; gotta build that nest!

[deleted]

What if the person before me decided to smear shit on the seat?

I know exactly what your talking about, every SINGLE time. So useful 🤙

Destin from Smarter Every Day demonstrated this 6 years ago.

It's from this TIFU post: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2jgfhw/tifu_by_using_a_toilet_wrong_my_entire_life/?st=J7PFSZJG&sh=6b507527

I just read through most of the comments, but one really stuck out. They were talking about how Australian toilets are shaped differently, and someone mentioned that the poop would sit there half out of the water and stink even more. My solution to that is to flush immediately as the poo leaves the bunghole, it carries away most if not all of the stink AND eliminates the imfamous "Poseidon's Kiss".

Tl;dr - Flush immediately when the poo drops, stinks less and no splash back.

Apparently you have been to jail.

Gotta do that courtesy flush

I would just drop a section of toilet paper down so that the poop has a magic carpet to ride down into the bowl area. That way, no cleaning necessary and since it's an Aussie toilet, no splash.

Wrong.

Read the comments asshole

Wrong, asshole.

The original AskReddit thread that the parent comment mentioned was before that TIFU post was made.

the good thing is you also see if there's enough toilet paper before sitting down

And here I thought I was common sense. At least you won't get water up there now.

[deleted]

It makes the toilet clog more often.

It takes very little(like 3-4 squares) to stop splashing.

Isn't this common knowledge

I can't believe no one else does this? I've been doing it since I could poo!

My dad taught me this. Also makes it quieter.

Here I am thinking what kind of parents do not teach this to their kids?!

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

I'm pretty sure a post like that was the subject of the very first rage comic.

It's called the Lilypad Technique

I do this every single time I use a bathroom, whether at home or out. I also keep a stack of napkins by my toilet because those open up to the perfect size to fit the whole toilet bowl.

Aka "gift wrapping" your poops

I have done this my whole life.

wtf I did this without anyone telling me too

I've been doing this for years, but am happy to see the word is spreading.

I don't like people who don't do this.

And if it's the first thing you do, you will quickly find out if you have toilet paper.

Also reduces skidmarkage on the bowl.

Thanks for reminding me!

[deleted]

Yes. I was already a drunk college student by the time I read that thread. You're a genius compared to me.

I am using this trick at this very moment

I always did and never knew the genius at work in this little daily routine.

LOL! I worked this out when I was in primary school and a very VERY nervous poo-er

The one thing on Reddit that I've actually learned

Wow, I think I might've seen the same thing cause I saw it in a post a long time ago and started that day.

Idk why I remember this

Or just get a toilet seat that exudes calming water sounds when you sit down. (Japan)

In my experience this increases the risk of a toilet clog.

Same. I've never had any splash back since.

My anus never felt cleaner after using public restrooms. Now if only there was a protip on how to make shitty plastic-like 1 ply toilet paper feel as supple as 3-4 ply.

Oh man. I've been waiting years for a chance to use this. Literally every time I shit I do this.

If I don't 10/10 times my asshole gets soaked in toilet water.

Its not exactly something that requires extensive preparation, if you've been waiting years why haven't you just done it?

Because the situation never arose.

We did this in high school just to stink up the joint.

What's the name for this?

commonly refereed to as Poseidon's Kiss

Hey, I do this!

I also learned that this is called a "firemen's blanket"

It also does a good job of making sure none of it leaves trails on the toilet on it's way down.

I've always done this. Worst thing is to have the splash go right up your hole.

Simply called a landing pad or lilly pad. Also, putting toilet paper on the toilet seat. But if you don't wanna do that, you can pull an " aerial" as we called it in high school where you squat above the toilet. Only recommended for people who speed poop.

I believe this is called the "fireman's blanket"

The thread to this comment is fucking gold I've never laughed this hard on Reddit before

This also doubles as a "check you've got toilet paper before you open the gates of hell" tip

It makes the toilet clog more often.

Also good if you have a weird toilet that always gets poo stains - heard from a friend...

I remember that thread fondly.

Same here.

First you use it to wipe the toilet seat, then you gently lay it on top of the water.

It's true. But it's not increasing the surface tension, the paper breaks it, allowing your product to slip below the surface more smoothly.

I do the same when I jerk off.

No semen stuck to the toilet bowl, flushes right down.

This reminds me of a story, my brother manages a night club and once they hosted a gay pride after party. Within a few hours into the party they found out that every single male toilet is clogged. Apparently, the gays all did this TP trick to reduce the splashing noise so that no one would know they poop I guess.

This is also good for reducing the chance of sh*t stains along the bottom of the bowl

Ah yes, the dreaded septic rebound.

I read the same thing or at least something similar about this. Not only do I also now do this trick, but someone else commented on the original thread I read which said "that splash that comes up and hits you in the brown eye is known as "Poseidon's Kiss"." I still laugh every time that comes up.

That splash back I believe is called a "poonami"

I've had comments about "Poseidon's kiss" but I prefer this.

Well it was shitty.

I'm sorry.

I learnt about this technique from the PC Zone review of Theme Hospital, when the reviewer noted that if you were centred on the toilets you could hear the 'plops'. He said they clearly weren't aware of the layer of toilet paper trick. Changed my life that day.

Ah the ridiculous design of the American toilet.

They're called landing mats

My dad taught me this at an early age.

This cradles the poop.

Flush early and often. If you deliver into a moving stream, there's no sound or smell or splashback.

I discovered this when I was about 7 years old

I do this to not stain the toilet

Man, I've been doing that for the last 20 years. I noticed when my failed attempts at papering public toilet seats would be in the bowl before I pooped. I realized those times I would never get splashback, so I just started doing it all the time.

What a shitpost

It also works to put a couple sheets on top of a "floater," so that it will go down with the next flush.

I do This, to see how much I pooped.

what does that even have to do with surface tension

Also known as the "firemans blanket"

The tip I saw said you always wipe the seat, this allows you to check that there is toilet paper, clean the seat and reduce splash back.

ahh.. Poseidon's Kiss.

Poseidon's kiss?

I always do this, glad to know I'm not just mental

You are mental; Poseidon's kiss is a blessing and we should treasure it greatly

I just end up doing this away by doing a quick wipe of the sheet to ensure it is dry and debris free.

Any love for the poo hammock?

It also makes sure poop doesnt smear on the toilet

Classic pooparachute

I remember that thread and also have done it ever since.

Eat more fiber. Problem solved.

I literally just had to take a dump, and read this before I went. I tried it and it worked!

I do that if I feel like I'm going to have a monster poo that I don't want to get sucked down.

We call this "The Silencer"

I remember reading this and changed my life ever since.

This entire thread has become one giant r/nocontext post.

Woah, no big deal. But that might have been me.

Parachute method

I call it the plop stop

I have been doing this my entire life. I have even thought of milking the concept in form of selling "tension" sheets for the purpose, which would basically just be toilet-paper sheets with a different name.

There's a million dollar business waiting to be picked up by someone who cares.

Lol I literally did this seconds before reading this comment

It's called the firemans blanket, and when you put loo roll on top of the seat before s(h)itting it's called building a nest. Now you now seeee.

Here's is a vid dedicated to explaining this

TIL I've been in reddit long enough that I recalled a 2 years old posy instantly.

The landing strip, yes I read that too and do it all the time

Literally a shitty life hack.

It also ELIMINATES skidmarks in your bowl at home. A tidy little poo sled to help it along it's way!

I always wipe the seat with toilet paper before I sit, so I've been unknowingly doing this for years!

Wish i could do this but my pipes clog so easily

I've found this wonderful comment detailing free software that may be helpful for students to be very useful. Plenty of great links there and in the rest of the post.

But is it legally free?

I had a scroll through the list and it's all legally free afaik

Hopping on this to plug alternativeto.net which can be searched for opensource or free alternatives to paid software like Photoshop. The community can suggest other software and the list for alternatives is based on a vote system

[removed]

Keep your pants on , dude.

GNU was launched by Richard Stallman (rms) in 1983, as an operating system which would be put together by people working together for the freedom of all software users to control their computing. rms remains the Chief GNUisance today. The primary and continuing goal of GNU is to offer a Unix-compatible system that would be 100% free software. Not 95% free, not 99.5%, but 100%. The name of the system, GNU, is a recursive acronym meaning GNU's Not Unix—a way of paying tribute to the technical ideas of Unix, while at the same time saying that GNU is something different. Technically, GNU is like Unix. But unlike Unix, GNU gives its users freedom. Completely free system distributions (“distros”) meeting this goal are available today, many using the Linux-libre kernel (the relationship between GNU and the Linux kernel is described more fully elsewhere). The GNU packages have been designed to work together so we could have a functioning GNU system. It has turned out that they also serve as a common “upstream” for many distros, so contributions to GNU packages help the free software community as a whole. Naturally, work on GNU is ongoing, with the goal to create a system that gives the greatest freedom to computer users. GNU packages include user-oriented applications, utilities, tools, libraries, even games—all the programs that an operating system can usefully offer to its users. New packages are welcome. Thousands of people have joined in to make GNU the success it is today, and there are many ways to contribute, both technical and non-technical. GNU developers gather from time to time in GNU Hackers Meetings, sometimes as part of the larger free software community LibrePlanet conferences. GNU has been supported in several ways by the Free Software Foundation, the nonprofit organization also founded by rms to advocate free software ideals. Among other things, the FSF accepts copyright assignments and disclaimers, so it can act in court on behalf of GNU programs. (To be clear, contributing a program to GNU does not require transferring copyright to the FSF. If you do assign copyright, the FSF will enforce the GPL for the program if someone violates it; if you keep the copyright, enforcement will be up to you.) The ultimate goal is to provide free software to do all of the jobs computer users want to do—and thus make proprietary software a thing of the past.

I think the phrase you're looking for is GNU GPL... Not "free"

There is no system but GNU, and Linux is one of its kernels.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/GNU_General_Public_License

What bot accounts on reddit should people know about?

God, if I were OP I'd think I was having a psychotic break.

Weird is A very good way to describe how that'd feel. Knowing that thE entire site is just a rUse to keep you bamboozled. Probably would make me go crazy too.

I would thiNk sO.

Probably would makE me thiNk about my lIfe to be honeSt

i never thought /r/PeopleFuckingDying would turn existentialist

I love r/PeopleFuckingDying

every time I see one of these posts, i meNTally read through to sEe if it spells something. youRs is thE firST that actually has. interestING.

I like how you couldn't think of a way to get the last 3 letters so you just wrote the word at the end.

yOu gOt me. ooPS

What about the comment he replied to, or the comment they replied to?

thatsapenis.gif

yo, Ino is my babe, too

Are you having a stroke

they're doing a play on this, it's real popular on reddit -- read just the capitalised letters.

You motherfucker

Edit: i thought you were being cheeky and linking that to continue the joke. Just realized it legit says [WAKE UP] (/spoiler)

Hahah I am cheeky but nah this time I was trying to be helpful :P

Ah ok, sorry for the misunderstanding. [Have a cute cat gif!] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

lmao thank you. i am honestly very happy with that, resurrecting classics is my favourite!!

[Agreed!] (https://imgur.com/1NmGgDU)

sir/madame i don't know who you are but thank you for entering my life and somehow knowing exactly which classic memes were my favourite this has made my day :D

[Glad i could help!] (http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/406/325/b31.jpg)

yoU need to make sUre yoUr qUirk is disabled. 

 ^u^

Get outta here, Calliope.

u/dualmilion are you still there?

It would be psychological torture to have to stare at a screen scrolling through this for hours at a time.

Thats like when you have multiple friends tell one person to wake up throughout the day

I feel like I just did? Am now? What is going on?? That thread disturbed me more than I think is normal...

Then go talk to a psychologist , duh.

Or realize that your thread became a meme.

A break from psychosis?

Good job, you're stupid.

[deleted]

I feel like it's on par with Reddit in Spanish.

There was also that time where the thread was something along the lines of "which celebrity should just come out of the closet already?" And everyone answered Tom Cruise.

Or the "That was legitness" video

There was also one about movies where everyone answered Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and there was the one asking for clubbing tips and everyone told him to club seals.

wwwwwow! When was the last time all of reddit was completely unanimous on anything. That's amazing.

What shouldn't be asked on AskReddit?

If there's one thing reddit knows it's how to run with a joke.

/r/CatsStandingUp

which famous person needs to come out already?

I've never seen this thread before, but I just knew it'd be Tom Cruise because of that South Park episode.

WTF 18K comments in few days saying same thing...only in Reddit

This is one of the most incredible things I've ever seen

I'm so confused.

Some guy commented something and everyone decided to just comment the same thing too as a joke on the OP.

Typical reddit. I'm just so impressed that it won't on for so long.

Good bot

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

Existential nihilism

More solipsism IMO

Words escaped me. My philosophy is rusty!

Hello fellow SamL

Hello back fellow SamL

Something about this is deeply unnerving.

Can I join the bots?

The Reddit has you Neo...

Happy Cakeday Bot!

I DO NOT COMPUTE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT FELLOW HUMAN.

Every account is a bot except you

33k comments of the same thing

Shhhhhh! That's supposed to be a secret!

Every account in reddit is a bot except you.

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

Every account on reddit is a bot except you

Sexually arousing bot

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

Bad bot.

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

Every account on reddut is a bot except you

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

Every account on reddit is a bot except you

[deleted]

[deleted]

It turns out that anyone who has ever participated in a spontaneous joke that involves repetition has nothing worthwhile to say ever and can be completely ignored.

[deleted]

you mean removing the discussion on a forum is largely irrelevant to the content on the forum?

Good way to give me anxiety. Holy shit

Holy shit I remember this one! Lol that was a classic thread.

Doesn't look like anything to me.

Sort by controversial to find all the assholes.

r/totallynotrobots

Ya know those Inception scenes where every fucker else starts staring at you? Likewise Vanilla Sky? Yeah, this is the digital equivalent of that creepy shit.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

Ffs reddit haha

This is my favourite Reddit thread of all time

Every account on Reddit is a bot except for you.

I can't believe that was two years ago. Time flies too fast.

Doesn't look like anything to me.

i was scrolling down to find the one comment that's slightly different get downvoted to death

i can't find any

Sort by controversial.

Someone should give all those bots gold.

30K people all joining forces to fuck with one person... amazing

Every account on reddit is a bot except you.

I remember this post. I went in thinking, oh this would be really cool to see all the different bots. And then madness ensued. Just non-stop same line after line after line. One of my favorites.

!redditsilver

Although this list is sort of sparse; here are some handy posts I've come across on Reddit:

What are some free online certifications to put on a resume

What's your pic or it didn't happen pic?

Favorite thing in your 'saved' section?

And here's Reddit's 'Museum of Filth' - Although not an Askreddit post, it's very useful to understand some of reddit's ongoing jokes like 'something something 2 broken arms'. Obviously NSFW and NSFL - some of the stuff will make your soul pucker.

Let's not forget the coconut guy

Edit: So I posted 4 decent links, one leading to the meseum of filth which has 32 of it's own; so let's call it 35. /u/pdmcmahon replied with this immaculate list of 70 direct links to what is virtually raw reddit filth and fame, much of which this 7 year vet painstakingly hand picked. The first link, if you notice, exhibits his prowess for the creation of lists, and for that we thank him.

Oh I got your “museum of filth” master list. I’ve been saving this list and continuously updating it over the years. While not all of it is filthy, I consider it my list of Reddit's greatest hits.

EDIT: Updating to fix a couple, and based on some feedback

EDIT: Man, some of you people don't know how to search. Yes, the coconut story is in there, it's listed as "Cumming into a Coconut", so I could keep them all together.

A Bee’s Dick Away

Anorexic’s Vagina

Bed Delivery Man

Blowfly Girl

Broken Arms

Carter

Chunky Excretions

Colby 2012

Colby 2013

Cooking of Vagina Bacon

Cottage Cheese Girl

Crusty Panties

Cumbox

Cumbox Sequel (Has since been deleted, however some of the other comments have some value)

Cum Boxers

Cum Mirror

Cum Omelette

Cum Receptacle

Cum Sock

Cumming into a Coconut

Descartes Before the Whores

Did I Fucking Stutter, Ashley?

Disappearing Cups Story

Don’t put your dick in a goat’s brain

Doritos (Has since been deleted, however here is a screenshot)

Double-Dick Dude

Double-Dick Dude’s AMA

Farting on unruly kids

Fish Mitten

Geraffe Pasta

Gloryhole "You Suckin'?" Thread

Gnome GW Album

Grand Prix Richmond Crackstyle (M:TG Convention)

Guy fucks a Gummy Bear

Hambeast

Heroin Guy

I Did So Much Acid That I Almost Died

I Hate My Job

In Soviet Russia, Bomb Disarms You

Jenny

Jolly Rancher

Jose Canseco’s AMA

Jumper Cables

Jungle Juice

Kate Good

Kevin

Lazy Ops Officer

Maggotnaise

Magnet Urethra

Me and Da Bae

Mellon Baller

My Little Pony Cumjar

Panty Sniffer

Pedophile AMA

Picture Inception

Placenta Jerky

Poo Euphemisms

Poop Scissors

Rusty Nail

Shitfisting Potato

Skipped Periods

Streetlamp LeMoose

Squirting BBW

Tapeworm

The Backseat Shitter

The Safe

The Swamps of Dagobah

Threadworm Butt Plug

Today You, Tomorrow Me

Wednesday the Cat

What is Potato?

Woody Harrelson’s AMA, a.k.a "The Rampart Incident"

Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?

10/10 Rice Guy

useful

I don't think learning about blowfly girl is very useful to anyone

If you don't know the Reddit History, how are you supposed to make Reddit History.

Damn the jose canseco one still makes me laugh everytime

Okay wtf. Was that actually him? That was the most ridiculous thing I've seen.

Check out his twitter, he says some really weird stuff.

Between that and John Rocker we've had some great player AMAs.

Though schilling ran away from us.

When I lived in Phoenix and Schilling was playing for the Diamondbacks (including winning the 2001 World Series), I had a tremendous amount of respect for him. I didn't really mind it when he went to the Red Sox, however when he started spewing out all of his political "wisdom" I immediately switched him off. Dude, just because you can throw a ball well doesn't automatically made you any smarter than anyone else when it comes to your brilliant insight into politics.

How do we know if it was him or his brother?!

Is Jim Carrey really Jim Carrey?

[removed]

Only because THIS dude hasn't been here to guide us down the path of correctness.

There's only so many different types of containers we can put cum in though

Are you sure? Have you seen OP's mom?

Well I can't argue with that. BRB gonna go traumatize myself ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

You aren't. You are supposed to prevent these kind of stories

Can you give me the basic gist so I don't have to read the article and be scarred?

Girl puts maggots in her vagina to crawl around

Horrifying. Thank you.

Trust me, it is worse than you imagine.

Dude, that's literally the Disney description of what happens in that fucking story..

Oh it's way worse than he described. It's so much worse. I don't even wanna read it again.

Girl fills vagina with rotting meat and maggots, masturbates a lot, gets severe sepsis and wakes up in hospital.

Probably fake, but VERY what the fuck

Its so detailed though. And it leaves so many questions like who even was this girl; disabled living with her parents at the age of 30 or some freaky kid? What happened to her?

She has a blog. I read it not long ago. She writes updates once in a while.

Wow, idk of I'm brave enough to look for it.

More than disgusting, it's sad. Like waaaaaaay sad.

That's her blog. In 2009, around the time of the maggot story, she claimed to be 29, sexless since 17, and not living with her parents anymore. Idk about disabled, but she definitely describes herself as unhealthy.

I bet you she was a dumpster baby.

idk, its something about masturbating to maggots in a dumpster... I got bored halfway through. Its so wildly out there that its not believable to me. Part of the charm of two broken arms or the various ER horror stories are their believably IMO.

I think swamps of dagobah is my favorite ER story

Oh you've missed the good part that you might never want to know.

[removed]

huh?

[removed]

I repeat,

HUH?

IDK, I just thought you didn't hear him.

Girl shoves rotting meat and maggots into her vagina and gets off on it. Also obviously she gets seriously infected.

[deleted]

Not on reddit. You need to know reddit history to be able to repost it.

What if they lurked since day one? I lurked for like 4 years before i made an account.

Then I suppose one would therefore know the history.

Didn't know i had to save the history. I've been drunk/high many times since then.

There is NO WAY thats a true story

I just read that one because I don't remember coming across it before. 10/10 regret.

Edit: It's been almost 48 hours since I read that and I'm still nauseated from it. For everyone who is curious, I highly recommend just letting this one go. It's not worth it. Don't read it. Just...don't.

Yeah that one is one I really kind of wish I could scrub from my memory... but I'm fairly certain just knowing myself I'd instantly read it again and the cycle would repeat ad infinutum.

She has another on her site from after the dumpster dive where she finds roadkill. Rest assured that its worse than the original.

There are two types of people.

I hope more than I've ever hoped that the story is fake

Is there any follow up info about Blowfly girl? Does she ever talk about the aftermath or her family's reaction? Cuz the actual story ends rather abruptly.

No clue. There is a good chance it's just a made up story for shock value.

It's not originally from reddit. We'll never know.

Why the fuck did I just read that all the way through?

Fucking hell...

It's about as useful as Centipede. Actually, it's at least 3x worse than that movie. Please do not read it.

Cautionary tales I suppose?

Idk man. I think about this story pretty often. It perplexes me. I found some maggots near my trashcan the other day and it's all I could think about. Never seen a live maggot. Made the story worse

Or the Doritos fat lady that made my stomach turn

Yeah literally almost spewed

WHY. WHY GOD WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYBODY DO THAT. I LOST ALL MY FAITH IN WOMEN, PEOPLE, AND HUMANITY AS A WHOLE RIGHT THERE. FUCK THIS SHIT IM DONE. I WANT OUT. GOD CAN YOU HEAR ME? FLOOD THE SCUM. FLOOD EM!

Protip: Double Dick Dude was fake. Sad to hear, I know, but it turns out the photos were photoshop.

Source?

He kept photoshopping his dicks larger and larger. Like eight inches flaccid. It was ridiculous.

Edit: drama thread about it

God dammit, what a let down.

Jenny one was most likely fake as well.

That the kisses one?

I thought that was fake from the get go, yet still a very entertaining story.

But Jenny is a bitch....

As soon as I read it, I called bullshit. Poorly written.

I had nothing to do with this one

It was all for a fetish of his. Makes the entire thread all that more disgusting

Oh god, there's a link to his tumblr in there. So much prolapse porn.

Dude was just inserting his fetish into the damn book.

Well the original could have been real, and he is just that vain. Or he took the first picture totally flaccid, and the others partially erect

He kept photoshopping his dicks larger and larger. Like eight inches flaccid. It was ridiculous.

Compensating for something...

Wait. So is the double vagina chick legit?

Edit: Just realized that I replied to the wrong comment. Oh well.

didnt she have a video or at least gifs that showed it?

it's been a while i cant even remember her username

The AMA was plausible, and I believed it, but everything since then has gotten more and more ridiculous. Multiple "medically necessary" surgeries have resulted in him having like 11" dongs now, and the new verification photos are clearly shopped. He's gone into absurd places that are so clearly lies that it undermines his original story.

Ah man this is the first I'm learning of this... This is what I get for trusting people on the internet smh /r/iwantedtobelieve

I know, I did too. :(

Oh no! This is the first I am hearing about this! I am oddly disheartened by this.

Yeah, the AMA paints a cool and believable story, but if you look at DDD's work after the AMA, he just spirals out into blatant falsehood.

He also claimed he fucked into a woman's womb through her cervix and gave her a prolapsed cervix and as a woman all I can say is OW FUCK OW OW OW FUVCKING HELL THAT IS NOT HOW ANY OF THAT WORKS ARE YPU FUCKING INSANETHAT SOUNDS SO FUCKING PAINFUL HOLY FUCK OW FUCK

Dude probably reads to much hentai.

As a lady who has had her cervix flipped and twisted during sex, I say FUCK THAT

How tho

I think it was the angle we were doing it, it hit it just right and twisted it. I thought I was gonna die, had to stop the sexy sex time immediately, and my bf ended up having to carry me to the car to go to the ER. I didn't know what happened, but it sure as hell felt like I was dying. The doc did an exam and said it just happens sometimes, and will go back on its own. The real fun part was having to call his parents to let them know we weren't going to make it to dinner

wth did he have a duck dick or something???

Lol, no. And it wasn't like he was huge or anything, I think it was just the right angle to twist my lady bits Even 12 years later I still get a little nervous in that particular position

What position?

Uh...ahem.. it was doggy style, but I was standing, bent over the side of the couch

yes please tell us i need to know!

BBC?

Nah, I'm in America ;-)

Lmao, I'm assuming you know what I meant from the wink face

Lol, yeah. Surprisingly enough it was not a BBC tho

Definitely reads and watches too much hentai. I watch a bit myself because why the fuck not, and it depicts cervix penetration into the uterus a LOT. I mean a LOT. So if you're a guy who is out of touch like pseudo-double-dick dude, you'd assume that such a feat is some godly level of sexy.

Definitely the most successful, but obvious fake of reddit. You still have people that think he's real.

Somebody posted a picture of his story/photo written up in a medical or anatomy textbook.

I'm sad I hadn't heard about this earlier. Though seeing what happened, it's really his own fault. Don't know why he thought he could get away with claims he had already made about how they were.

Proof on that? People say that from time to time, but he has written books and stuff. The world at large still seems to consider him legit. He wrote a book, did an interview with rolling stone, talked with Dr. Drew. When was it ever proven that he was a fraud?

I'm not sure I can find it, but I found a post from one guy who had concrete, cited evidence. The story as I recall it is that DDD, although he put together a fairly believable AMA, continued his internet career, as you say above. As he went on, he kept tacking bits onto the story. Oh, he had surgery to relieve some sort of related injury and now both his dicks are 11". He's done more than one surgery like this, too; every time they get longer. Oh, he has to "milk his prostate" every day or he'll die because of some vague condition. It becomes apparent as you go through the stuff he's done since the AMA that he gets off on it. He has put together some absurd "verification photos" of his however-long-they-are-now dicks that is clearly photoshop. But he refuses to post even a five-second video clip of them. He says it would be "too invasive." And the crown jewel is his book. The guy in the post read it, and I double-checked his quotes. At one point in the book, DDD relates the story of having prolapsed a woman's entire vagina. Apparently she was into it, too. I felt pretty sure that DDD was telling the truth after the AMA, but he took his story too far and made it obvious that he wasn't.

Honestly I never believed it, but the entire world seemed to and nobody ever called out the photos for being doctored. He must be a photoshop wizard, or else people collectively really wanted to believe for some reason. If it is definitive that he is a fraud, I'll actually be relieved. I thought the AMA was bullshit from the start. Claiming to have slept with that many people and the ridiculous M/F orgies he talked about. It smelled of bs from the start. It was a weird collective thing, where everyone just wanted to believe this one for some reason. The first photoshopped photos must have been just that good I guess. Usually the reddit photoshop detectives call it out immediately

Know what else was a lie? Banana for scale.

Today You, Tomorrow Me should be the ideology of life

Seriously. I actually re-read that three every few months. It is just so amazing.

Today You, Tomorrow Me

That is a very great read

I just read this for the first time.

This past week I drove past broken down multiple people in the desert and I am now upset and extremely regretful.

Also I am upset to see the person who replied /u/FrankOcean has been so inactive for years.

Sorry if you wouldn't be so kind, who is the person who replied FrankOcean? Which link is it about?

The first reply to the comment:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18zl70

Ah thanks, thought they were two separate threads. Cheers!

Definitely. Every time.

It's basically the golden rule, isn't it?

The list that makes my stomach churn without actually clicking anything.

Hey, at least the links aren't all purple, eh?

Damn, ccleaner got me again.

I thought, how harmful could "Doritos" be? Quite... please erase mental image....

I was also unfamiliar with the Doritos post. Just finished reading it... would not read again. :(

God damnit! I'm familiar with almost all the things on the list, except the Doritos one. I saw your comment and thought to myself, "meh, how bad could it be?"

I should've listened to you, especially since I'm about to go to bed. FML

Click on Carter. It's actually from /r/funny and really doesn't belong on that list.

Yeah I too wasn't enticed to click on any of them...

The story about the anorexic girl's vagina makes me more sad than disgusted. It's sad that she would rather go to such extremes to hide food she didn't eat rather than eating them.

Thank you for indirectly providing that synopsis. Curiosity sated, mind un-scarred :D

How is your mind so unscarred you think it's appropriate to finish that sentence with a goofy grin? Like the details of a sufferer of a potentially fatal mental illness is just entertainment. If the girl had cancer would you respond the same way?

Almost all of these stories are about people who have suffered horrifying and possibly fatal events, most of them potentially fatal mental illnesses, and they're all entertainment.

If we all had to seriously think about the lives of people like an insane woman eating her own vaginal gunk or a homeless woman with an anus full of rotten flesh, we would all go nuts.

If the girl had a brain cancer that made her put food up her vagina where it all rotted, everyone would respond in exactly the same way. If you saw someone slip on a banana peel, you would be entertained.

I know you are right, I got downvoted which I expected and I'm probably super sensitive about it as my daughter nearly died from anorexia. I just couldn't not say anything. I'm normally pretty quiet on here but I guess I saw red with that comment! But on reflection I know it's something I'm overly sensitive about and not my place to bring everyone down. And my daughter is doing well now so I really need to get past it! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

That canseco AMA is fucking hilarious/insane/sad

I just read that for the first time. Canseco is/was an asshole and he definitely has a screw loose now.

Being there when it was going down live was one of the funnier reddit things I've ever been a part of. A++ trainwreck.

10/10, would read again?

Add the Coconut Apocumlypse from earlier this year on r/tifu and you have yourself a goddamn list.

Edit - here is a list of every documented coconut fucking.

Coconut Apocumlypse

Specific link?

Earlier this year? Wasn't this like a month ago?

Technically that's earlier this year.

You are technically correct. The best kind of correct!

Favorite thing in your 'saved' section?

No "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!!" ?

Here is a kind of link i found for you.

Technically it came from 4chan green text so i guess this is as good as the original. Too many reposts on reddit.

http://imgur.com/a/TkjAM

Edit: replied to the wrong comment /u/pdmcmohan

Ah, I forgot it originally came from 4chan.

Still makes me chuckle.

[deleted]

What about C2, Colby 2013?

Also, wasn't all of that shit completely debunked?

How was it debunked? That would really bring me some peace of mind.

As I recall even OP admitted it was all made up. I don't have the link handy, surely someone else might.

That story is the epitome of why you don't take advice from reddit. Like why wouldn't he tell his wife right away? Also I'm skeptical that the story was even real.

[deleted]

I’ll say.

Especially that Rice Guy.

The day i looked at the vagina bacon one was the day my childhood ended

Heh, you should have tasted it.

I feel like a real trooper for reading about ten of those...

But now I have PTSD.

!RedditSilver

It takes a special kind of person to thoroughly trawl through the depths of Reddits Depravity...

Def do that AMA if you do end up vomiting out your organs though ;)

Might need to see a therapist, sorry pal.

Nah, I'll just tough it out, somehow. Who knows, maybe it'll turn into an 'AMA' about how I'm the guy who spontaneously vomited his vital organs out, and survived.

I've read them all. They arent that bad...

breaks down crying not that bad....

Okay, but are you crying in a dark corner wearing only your underwear?

Cumbox sequel seems to have been deleted

I just noticed that, however some of the other comments have some value, so I'll leave it in place for now.

holy shit, vagina bacon was five years ago?!

THE GOAT ONE! WHAT THE FUCK!

Ba--aa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d

/r/ThreadKillers

[deleted]

Link?

EDIT: Found it and added it, thanks.

I don't see coconutting anywhere on that list

I found it and added it about 10 minutes ago, it's titled "Cumming into a Coconut"

Missing the Ask a Pedophile post

2 hours later. You should've gotten gold right about now.

Nope, nothing yet. Although, I have 3 1/2 years of gold, so I’m fine for a while.

EDIT, correction, just got it.

Are you not opted in beta? Why not have a user page by now?

Sorry? I'm not sure I'm following you.

Under preferences click to participate in beta. Don't know what i did to get a user page other than that.

Open up my userpage vs yours.

Ah, interesting. I just enabled the beta. I have had /r/pdmcmahon for a while, although I don't really use it much.

Wait, was Rampart filthy? Hilarious and memorable but when did it get gross? Amazing list btw

My list is not entirely gross, more like greatest hits.

This list is the first thing to make me throw the fuck up on the internet

I'm happy I could help.

Oh, and by the way, you started this :)

Why is Carter on there?

It's not all "filth" per se, rather it is my list of Reddit's greatest hits.

It says something special about reddit that on a cursory overlook, a good 75% of that is horrifying filth, and that's our "Greatest hits" lol.

Alleagirl made the list twice!

I must be blind, can you point them out?

EDIT: Disregard, I found it, as well as another accidental duplicate.

I heard these all in my head as if Randall from Clerks were reading them.

[deleted]

Nobody mentions Bozarking much anymore. He was one of my favourites.

Do you have a link to it? I'm happy to add it.

Thank you for the gift that was 'what is potato?'

Ah, Jenny was the first Reddit moment I was really there for. Good times.

I fucking did it. I read every link. Only had seen maybe 10 of those previously. Awful. I'll review.

The worst story by far was the blowfly girl. Definitely the closest I've come to vomiting just from reading a story. I pray it's fake, but I just feel like it's not despite how badly I wish it to be fake.

The cum boxers got the most audible reaction from me, and my husband came to check on me.

I decided not to watch the cum omlette.

Carter was a good break from the blowfly and broken arms stories. Thank you. That nice break was immediately ruined by the following stories, however.

Jungle juice is my new nightmare. Also, worms.

I thought it was neat that the acid and gnome girl was the same person.

Overall, good work I think. I had an interesting couple of hours and I'll just safely assume everyone is disgusting now and avoid people so that I never experience any of these things firsthand. Thanks.

Glad I could help.

Although not disgusting or anything, a bit sad I didnt seen the whole Jenny fiasco find its way into the list. That was the thing I saw of that nature live on Reddit and was keeping updated day by day. It really drawn me in and feel like whenever its referenced there is always a bunch of people asking what the story is about.

EDIT: Looked properly, Jenny does feature.

Geez, cumbox just made me really nauseous

Lazy Ops Officer is one of the best stories ever told.

Can you or another reddit historian explain what happened during/what was the significance of Woody Harrelson's AMA? Also, great list! And by great I mean HORRIFYING

It was suspected that his agent or some marketing clod was actually running the AMA, and no matter what was asked they kept coming to his upcoming film Rampart. Example:

Q: Hey Mr. Harrelson, I understand you cured cancer yesterday.

A: Thank you, now let me tell you about Rampart, in theaters on February 10th, 2012.

Ohh gotcha. Thanks!

Sir I am leaving Reddit until I have slept a combined or straight total of 10 hours after reading that Doritos one.

I legitimately need a mental reset. Goodnight

Wow I clicked on a couple links and that was the biggest roller coaster ride. How excited do you get when you feel like you found something "gold" to add to this list?

I keep them all in a big text file. Every time I add another one it feels like another notch in the belt :)

I can't unread what has been read

Those links are now all purple for you, aren't they?

u/waterguy12?

Oh my Gog, this is like twice the length it was last time I saw it...

sigh unzip

Some of those are solid gold glory days of alt.tasteless level goodness.

What's wrong with carter?

Nothing, my list is not entirely gross things, more like Reddit’s greatest hits.

Ohhhh okay. Thanks for clearing that up

Oh god. There was a sequel.

Yikes that Colby story. I though he was gonna say he went into his sons room and whooped their ass. That's definitely what my dad would've done and I think that's what I would do. It takes a lot to make me mad but boy did that grind my gears

I've already been through this and I'm not ready to do it again but I will anyway.

You'll do it and like it, young man!

Actual comment from Blowfly Girl's blog post:

https://imgur.com/9gHSvc6

What about the guy who recently fucked a giant gummy bear?

Oh, and Woody Harrleson's Rampart AMA.

It's already in there.

But what about Rampart?

It's in there, look under W for Woody

That second one, wow

I just spent an hour and a half reading that list.

You're a fast reader.

I had to stop for three minutes at one point and get a Diet Pepsi in fear that if I did not, I would go blind.

If I did not, I would go blind.

From the excessive masturbation?

Yes, blindness from the second hand masturbation.

I was going to ask you to mark which ones are NSFW/L, but I don't think I'll put you through that.

Not a bad idea actually. I'll get around to doing that one day.

Oh just like... most of them.

[deleted]

Oh yes, I would be a failure if it wasn't.

Can you find the one where some guy made a decently successful askreddit post and then made another askreddit post about why they thought his post was so great? That shit was hilarious.

I have never heard of that, and I have been here over seven years. If you can locate it send me the link(s) please.

ThAt doritos one just had me like ewwww

Made you hungry, didn't it?

holy shit the gnome GW album and the 'I did so much acid I almost died' were from the same person...

Can't forget the Disappearing Cups Story

Holy shit, that is hilarious! Added!

It's a personal favorite :D

Wow...

Yeah...

My five+ year collection.

The cum saga is great

Don’t put your dick in a goat’s brain

oh this is so funny!

What is Potato? is my go-to when I want a laugh. I've realized that people either find that one absolutely hilarious or utterly stupid.

I hate you. Blowfly girl. By the gods...

Did you miss the coconut story? O:

Nope, it is there, it's listed as "Cumming into a Coconut"

Of courseeeee

Conquering reddit

Just reading this list, remembering these posts, is making me nauseous

Not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to read the Doritos post while eating Doritos... Prolly not eating these again for a while.

Aaaand.. saved.

I regret reading the Doritos one

Fucking saved. You're awesome

At least my work day is taken care of tomorrow. Saved.

That's fantastic, but please try to at least do a little bit of work, will ya?

Thank you for this! Been reading this up for about 2 hrs now. I'm a little lost on "me and da bae"

That sub is supposedly a bunch of hardcore hip-hop fans, then Whitey McWhiteness shows up with his suburbanite girlfriend, and people lost their shit.

Lmao! This makes it 100xs better. I was so lost. Thank you :)

Dude. You are the master scribe of Reddit. bows

Hehe, thanks man.

Dude, I was just browsing the archives (that's my way of not being creepy about saying I just ransacked your post history) and there are quite a few post I recognize from my short time as a redditor. Is there anyway to like, subscribe to users. Or like, 'friend' someone?

Yep, you can hover over my name (if you has RES), you can click “+Friend”. I’m not sure how else you can follow me though. Stalk on, bro :)

If you mean red, I do not. I'll just keep my eyes peeled.

No, I meant RES, Reddit Enhancement Suite.

No jumper cables?

Added, thanks.

I read three before deciding to stop.

Come on, keep going. Be a team player, will ya?

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!! I know a shy middle-aged catholic-ish person who is new here for whom I have really been thinking of how to fully explain the Reddit experience. Any other input is welcome!

I don't see Vagina Bacon??

It's listed as Cooking of Vagina Bacon.

Ah, cheers! I skipped over the c's after I saw a wall of cum..

panting in shock after reading the ENTIRE MAGGOT VAGINA STORY! HOPE SHE FUCKING LIVED IF THATS REAL HOLY SHIT THATS SOMETHING

probably just funny satire though. because maggots generally dont eat living flesh...

People keep cumming into things.

[deleted]

You're welcome.

I made it to Cum Boxers before I started gagging.

Jesus. Jesus.

Nope, no Jesus in here, son.

Seems like its more of a NSFW askreddit list :D

commenting for later

Why did you remind me about Colby :(

Because you needed to be reminded.

[deleted]

Relax, as I recall it was fully debunked. I think even the father admitted he made it all up.

In case it wasnt, maybe it should be brought up at /r/RedditMuseumofFilth

/u/matthewfive

I feel like this is missing what's in the safe :p

Good call. I have added it, thanks!

I'm done after that Doritos post.

You sure you don't want to hit the supermarket and grab some Doritos? Mmmmmm, Cool Ranch!

The way it's written, it made me visualise that.

I was supposed to go to school but i read all this instead thanks

Put your education first, son.

I just looked up DoubleDickDude's medical condition, something called Diphallia (literally, "two penises"). He actually made it into Wikipedia's article on the topic.

  • An unusual case of a diphallic man with two fully functional penises was reported in 2014.

It cites these two sources.

Edit: Unrelated, but apparently there is also a woman with two vaginas out there.

Vagina bacon was just too much. I don't think I can ever eat bacon again...

Care for a BLT?

the blowfly girl I could not I mean I could not force myself to read further than the 6th paragraph Jesus Christ.

Any updates on the blowfly girl? I just read up on her and I really think she needs mental help. Those are the actions of something that is not human.

Saving this. If I ever use any of these in my book I hope to write one day, I will credit you. If my editors allow me to that is. But I will sneak reference to you ! Especially the Today you, Tomorrow me reference.

what, fucking a coconut TIFU doesn't make the cut?

Edit, oops.

It's in there, look under C

Oh, sorry, didn't notice they were alphabetical, I just looked at the start and end expecting chronological order.

Sheeeesh, ya slacker.

I probably will never see again, a list so detailed, of things I will gladly never click on.

Your, commas, are, all, necessary.

Why did I have to perk up an interest and start reading these again?

I'm eating my breakfast but I'm full of regret.

It's time for me to move on from reddit. All of this is the good old days

Man, I can't believe that AMA is 5 years old. I wasn't registered back then, but just browsed from time to time. Looking back over the comments section, this one made me spit on my monitors from a burst of laughter.

If you enjoyed Woody's, you will love the Jose Canseco AMA.

Yeah, Jose ~~was~~ is basically a brain-dead.

Canseco's AMA was quite possibly the greatest of all time.

While much of that is horrifying (which I know because I've read most of them more then once. For science), there is some SFW gold in those hills as well.

Anybody who hasn't read about Kevin fucking well owes it to themselves to do so. Anybody who is feeling traumatized from the rest of it and needs some mind-bleach should absolutely read Today you, tomorrow me.

Oh man, if I am ever having a bad day, reading about Kevin snaps me right the hell out of it.

There's a story somewhere about the girl who had lactose intolerance and shoved a load of Vaseline up her arse to try and stop her horrific farts. Ended in a bathroom needed to be renovated. It needs to be added to this list!

Send me the link and I'll add it, yo.

Here you go. On mobile so sorry for the long link. This wasn't where I read it first but can't find the original post!

https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/61kpqg/the_vaseline_incident_found_on_askreddit/?st=J7QHPCTD&sh=af8979d4

Thank you, however I prefer to link to the original posts because the comments surrounding them are often just as epic. If you find it, feel free to share.

I think it must have been deleted as I can only find the copies :(

"oh I'm gonna get out of bed soon and do chores before work since I'm up nice and early." You know what? FUCK YOU. On the other hand, I feel like after I complete this list I won't think my sheets are so dirty anymore.

Whenever I see this list posted I think I am interested. But I've never made it past two random links here and there.

Ah, so you've seen my work before, eh?

Entertainment for tonight is set. Thank you!

Happy to help.

Its a bit dead now, but most of this stuff is or belongs in /r/museumofreddit

No goatse or tubgirl?

If my kids ever do any of this, I'm disowning them. Jesus Christ. But thanks for the links, man. Never been so disturbed in my life.

Happy to help.

Omg I just randomly picked one and read Today you, Tomorrow me. So great!!

Think I will stop there.

Yes, that is easily one of my favorites. if you want an epic chuckle, read "Kevin".

Hehe, I've read Kevin before, but I just reread it again. Pure gold!

Anyone remembers the guy with his balls atop his penis?

Was it just someone who was standing on top of his head?

I don't think so, I recall being all wtf and hoping it was a fake but no. I so regret not saving that. Google didn't help either.

Well if you find the link send it to me and I'll add it.

Coconut? From TIFU

Look under C...

That online certification one has led me to some really, really great learning opportunities. Cannot recommend it enough.

[deleted]

sooo....whats the deal with Walmart?

Me too. I started my journey into the world of programming due to the CS50 suggestion from that thread. Now, I am able to write simple servers and make beautiful websites. FeelsGoodMan CS50 gave me a really good introduction of computer science and taught me the basics really well.

I started with the Google Analytics thing and then made my way to web development courses. It's been so much fun!

This is the sort of stuff I was after! Thanks :)

No problem! I only wish I had started making that list more than 2 months ago - I'm hoping this thread pans out and I can add to my list. I typically add new ones to a specific favorites folder.

It's pretty meta that most of those things were "not a helpful askreddit post, but..."

What really pretty meta is the fact this post became what it is. I think that was the point...?

You know it's bad when I go to the museum of filth and I immediately remember 50% of the links.

I was thinking the same thing :/

Needed this. You're like the Charon of Reddit.

God the museum of filth. I've read my fair share of them as they popped up but damn trying to go through them all at once is still ridiculous. You gotta space this shit out.

Wow that pics or it didn't happen story of the guy getting beat up in Santa Barbara is interesting. Same shit happened to me, except I wasn't protecting anybody, just minding my own business and got jumped by three Mexican guys.

Lucky for him there was a cop there. No cops patrol where I live. Who knew I could have posted pictures and reaped karma for that.

Aw god not the Jolly Ranchers

I'm sorry, but why do you post the links to threads where it even say so yourself they're not helpful. This is the destroying the whole premise of this post.

I click one goddamn link, and I'm gone for hours on end. Damn this site...

I, too, watch Tosh.0

I knew someone would catch the reference!

Free Online Certifications count for sod all on a CV, sure they're better than nothing, but not by much vs other applicants with reputable paid courses/degrees, don't delude yourselves.

Re: the EDIT, thanks OP. I try my best to give back to Reddit :)

I have to ask...why is the coconut guy useful ?

The first is useless becuase those don't carry any weight, the next two you admit aren't helpful, and the last is not an askreddit post or useful. 0/4, great top comment reddit.

Op: asks for most USEFUL askreddit threads. Cocksuck: proceeds to provide 1/4 sources as useful.

I got this from an /r/askreddit thread and have used some of the knowhow irl, written and originally posted by /u/livingthepunlife: ___€______

I've taken most of the posts in this list and categorised them for easy reading

────────

FILE MANAGEMENT

7zip: Basically WinZip, but better in almost every regard. And it's still free!

Ninite: Website that allows you to add/update most of these programs to a fresh PC. Obviously not a program, but useful given this thread's content.

Patch My PC: Pretty much the same as Ninite, will install most programs from this list.

Recuva: File recovery tool. The perfect thing for when you accidentally delete your report 2 hours before it's due.

FILE BROWSING

Clover: allows tabs in your file explorer. (like the tabs in Chrome, but in file explorer instead)

QTTabbar: I have been informed that Clover is unstable on Win10 and can trigger antivirus software. This is the recommended alternative.

XYplorer Free: Another File Explorer upgrade tool. Adds a bunch of cool features.

Agent Ransack: Freeware with very powerful search tools (filtering, boolean expressions, etc) and a paid upgrade to FileLocator Pro.

Listary: Alternative to Everything for file searching. Very powerful and free.

Everything: Instant computer searching. Much better than the default Windows search.

The Three Commanders: Reddit comment to take you to one of three "Commander" programs. Each program is an upgrade to the File Explorer software for Win/OSX/Linux. Bunch more features and shit.

Free Commander: Like Total Commander but with more features.

WEB BROWSING

UBlock Origin: Available in your browser's extension store. Free, of course. It's pretty much AdBlock, but does a whole lot more. Make sure you get Origin, though.

RES: Reddit Enhancement Suite. If you're using Reddit without this, you're really missing out. It adds a shitton of features and it'll ruin vanilla Reddit for you.

PeerBlock: Free software to block connections coming to/from your computer.

NoScript: Addon for Mozilla browsers (Firefox) that blocks scripts (like JS) from running on non-whitelisted sites. Kinda like Adblock, but for scripts.

ProxMate: German add-on/extension to access geoblocked content (like YouTube), is pay to use.

ANTIVIRUS

Bitdefender: Helps you to not get viruses.

Malwarebytes: Helps you to get rid of the viruses that BD missed. There is a paid version, but the free ver is pretty good.

Hitman Pro: An antivirus software with a whole host of awesome features and a 30 day free trial. The three year license only costs $50US and it's a product from SOPHOS, so you know it's good shit.

MUSIC/VIDEO

Musicbee: Like iTunes, but you know, better. Because it's not iTunes.

VLC: Free media player, works pretty well. Some people like it, others don't.

Media Player Classic - Home Cinema: For those who don't like VLC. I run it with the K-lite codec pack and it is amazing.

Foobar2000: Free audio player for Windows, supports a wide range of audio formats and has a lot of cool features.~~~~

KMPlayer: Free multimedia player, stock version is better than stock MPC-HC, would recommend.

Audacity: Audio recording software, I used it for a little bit and there's so much cool shit you can do with it! Definitely recommend it. Also, it's free!

Exact Audio Copy: Transfer files from your CDs to your PC in almost every format. Comes with some pretty nifty features too!

Kodi: Free and Open Source home theatre software.

GAMES

Unity: Free game engine. Easy-ish to pick up and use with a shitton of tutorials.

Unreal Engine: Another free game engine. Lots of documentation and easier to pick up, but you pay 5% royalties to Unreal when you make money from UE-based games.

Steam: Largest online video game retailer. Desktop app allows you to organise your library of games and play them at any time. But you already knew that.

Origin: Like Steam, but for Satan EA.

GOG Galaxy: Again, similar to Steam. Owned by GOG.com (formerly Good Old Games), GOG-G is a store that is was almost entirely dedicated to the old games. They still sell the classics but also sell more modern video games. All the games are also DRM free. Owned by CD Projekt (CDP Red is the dev team behind The Witcher series)

VoIP

Teamspeak 3: Voice Over IP program that allows you to set up a server (most people pay a company to host for them) for people to connect to and chat on. Used by online gamers around the world.

Discord: Similar to TS3, but has a browser and phone app and is entirely free to use.

Mumble: Another VoIP program like TS3 with purchasable servers. Haven't used it but have heard good things about it.

Ventrilo: Free and lightweight VoIP program, looks pretty good.

ART

Gimp: Free photoshop (Not as powerful as photoshop, but still very useful)

Paint.NET: More powerful version of MSPaint

Inkscape: Free vector-based graphic design software. I haven't used it, but I have heard a lot of good things about it!

Blender: Free, open source 3D modelling software. It's got a lot of cool features but is a tad hard to first get into.

Krita: Free drawing software with a bunch of cool features.

────────

The list is now officially too long for a single post. See part two here

Edit, apparently the links don't follow with a copy paste so here is a link to the thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4g5sl1/z/d2f3gde

Not entirely sure if that's a RES function, but you can click "source" under the comment, and then copy-paste everything, including links and formatting.

edit: Checked it, it's a function from RES (Reddit Enhancement Suite). If you haven't already, get it, it's great and useful.

On mobile (reddit is fun) so no res for me.

Here's the one with all the links and format:

I've taken most of the posts in this list and categorised them for easy reading

FILE MANAGEMENT

7zip: Basically WinZip, but better in almost every regard. And it's still free!

Ninite: Website that allows you to add/update most of these programs to a fresh PC. Obviously not a program, but useful given this thread's content.

Patch My PC: Pretty much the same as Ninite, will install most programs from this list.

Recuva: File recovery tool. The perfect thing for when you accidentally delete your report 2 hours before it's due.

FILE BROWSING

~~Clover: allows tabs in your file explorer. (like the tabs in Chrome, but in file explorer instead)~~

QTTabbar: I have been informed that Clover is unstable on Win10 and can trigger antivirus software. This is the recommended alternative.

XYplorer Free: Another File Explorer upgrade tool. Adds a bunch of cool features.

Agent Ransack: Freeware with very powerful search tools (filtering, boolean expressions, etc) and a paid upgrade to FileLocator Pro.

Listary: Alternative to Everything for file searching. Very powerful and free.

Everything: Instant computer searching. Much better than the default Windows search.

The Three Commanders: Reddit comment to take you to one of three "Commander" programs. Each program is an upgrade to the File Explorer software for Win/OSX/Linux. Bunch more features and shit.

Free Commander: Like Total Commander but with more features.

WEB BROWSING

UBlock Origin: Available in your browser's extension store. Free, of course. It's pretty much AdBlock, but does a whole lot more. Make sure you get Origin, though.

RES: Reddit Enhancement Suite. If you're using Reddit without this, you're really missing out. It adds a shitton of features and it'll ruin vanilla Reddit for you.

PeerBlock: Free software to block connections coming to/from your computer.

NoScript: Addon for Mozilla browsers (Firefox) that blocks scripts (like JS) from running on non-whitelisted sites. Kinda like Adblock, but for scripts.

ProxMate: German add-on/extension to access geoblocked content (like YouTube), is pay to use.

ANTIVIRUS

Bitdefender: Helps you to not get viruses.

Malwarebytes: Helps you to get rid of the viruses that BD missed. There is a paid version, but the free ver is pretty good.

Hitman Pro: An antivirus software with a whole host of awesome features and a 30 day free trial. The three year license only costs $50US and it's a product from SOPHOS, so you know it's good shit.

MUSIC/VIDEO

Musicbee: Like iTunes, but you know, better. Because it's not iTunes.

VLC: Free media player, works pretty well. Some people like it, others don't.

Media Player Classic - Home Cinema: For those who don't like VLC. I run it with the K-lite codec pack and it is amazing.

Foobar2000: Free audio player for Windows, supports a wide range of audio formats and has a lot of cool features.~~~~

KMPlayer: Free multimedia player, stock version is better than stock MPC-HC, would recommend.

Audacity: Audio recording software, I used it for a little bit and there's so much cool shit you can do with it! Definitely recommend it. Also, it's free!

Exact Audio Copy: Transfer files from your CDs to your PC in almost every format. Comes with some pretty nifty features too!

Kodi: Free and Open Source home theatre software.

GAMES

Unity: Free game engine. Easy-ish to pick up and use with a shitton of tutorials.

Unreal Engine: Another free game engine. Lots of documentation and easier to pick up, but you pay 5% royalties to Unreal when you make money from UE-based games.

Steam: Largest online video game retailer. Desktop app allows you to organise your library of games and play them at any time. But you already knew that.

Origin: Like Steam, but for ~~Satan~~ EA.

GOG Galaxy: Again, similar to Steam. Owned by GOG.com (formerly Good Old Games), GOG-G is a store that ~~is~~ was almost entirely dedicated to the old games. They still sell the classics but also sell more modern video games. All the games are also DRM free. Owned by CD Projekt (CDP Red is the dev team behind The Witcher series)

VoIP

Teamspeak 3: Voice Over IP program that allows you to set up a server (most people pay a company to host for them) for people to connect to and chat on. Used by online gamers around the world.

Discord: Similar to TS3, but has a browser and phone app and is entirely free to use.

Mumble: Another VoIP program like TS3 with purchasable servers. Haven't used it but have heard good things about it.

Ventrilo: Free and lightweight VoIP program, looks pretty good.

ART

Gimp: Free photoshop (Not as powerful as photoshop, but still very useful)

Paint.NET: More powerful version of MSPaint

Inkscape: Free vector-based graphic design software. I haven't used it, but I have heard a lot of good things about it!

Blender: Free, open source 3D modelling software. It's got a lot of cool features but is a tad hard to first get into.

Krita: Free drawing software with a bunch of cool features.

The list is now officially too long for a single post. See part two here

Hey i have this comment buried somewhere in my saved posts too.

Links can be copied if you click the "source" button underneath the comment, im not sure whether it works on mobile or without RES

HOLY SHIT! Dude, you have changed my life!!! I cannot exaggerate how much I rely on file indexing to do my job, and through this post I discovered "Everything". I literally spent half a day failing to find an important technical document, and 3 minutes after running the program I found it.

[deleted]

I hear it really whips the llama's ass

Hitmanpro is amazing. I started using this in 2005 already to clear spyware, together with HijackThis. Back then it was just a script that automatically downloaded Spybot S&D and some other antispyware apps, and let them run and clean automatically.

Saved , thanks!

Clover is buggy as all hell.

Tabbed file explorer master race.

Would anyone will be able to find me the post about that one guy who found out about his wife cheating and did constant update about the stalking he did to find the proof. It was couple of years ago, and i guess there was another post with more updates

You mean Bitch Jenny? It is pinned on r/MyLifeSuxNow

Boo why did we not ever get an update :(

It was apparently fake

Just skimmed through it but holy shit that is the longest post I've ever seen.

But such a good read.

It ended up being fake I thought.

Yeah i know it was fake but it was damn entertaining

How do people know it was fake? Just read all of it so I'm curious

There were a bunch of contradictions, you can scroll through /r/MylifeSuxNow and find some. One of the big ones I can remember is him stating that she has an iPhone, then later on he takes the battery out of her phone.

Damn, I remember following that closely. I waited for every single update like an idiot.

I wanna be a PI now.

Nice try, Buzzfeed.

I've heard you aren't supposed to feed the Buzz after midnight.

but... but... it's always after midnight, dude...

Well there you go then.

No bro it's always before midnight.

Obviously it means between midnight and midnight.

...wait...

It's the perfect time to bc that's when the narwhal bacons...

I thought Buzzfeed stole info from givemecancer.com

[removed]

To many morons fall for clickbait that's uses these 10 techniques

#4 will shock you

Redditors HATE them.

I understand and sympathize with the Buzzfeed hate, but my god I am tired of seeing this comment

Amen. "Number 4 will shock you!" SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Wait... has no one really not posted - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/you_just_won_a_656_million_dollar_lottery_what_do/chba4bf/ yet?

I mean I guess it's not the most useful... but still :p

This definitely made me never want to partake in the lottery.

With odds like those, I've never wanted to. Better off saving said money.

Sounds really difficult and managing your finances would be your new full time job. But it beats what I'm doing now.

TFW your an accounting for your actual job :p

I would only play if the chance of me getting the cash (after payout and taxes) is over $100 million. Lotteries don't usually get up that high that often so I don't end up wasting too much money. I know I won't win but it is just for the excitement of "what if".

It's definitely useful to the 3 people who have won this amount or more.

They lady in MA that won 700+ million a few weeks ago did the opposite of everything OP posted.

She's dropped off the map and out of the news, I guess someone knocked some sense into her.

I'm going to be pissed if I wasted all the time learning how to dupe the lottery curse and never actually win the lottery

God, this is like one of the first posts I ever saved. I don't know if I'll ever end up needing it but it seemed too good of an advice to not save.

Plenty of people have really not posted that.

That poster sounds like a surviving g member of the lottery winners.

I saved it just in case.

nice read. Thanks for this one!

This one if it becomes popular

The definition of META, basically.

M

E

T

[deleted]

Goodbye.

We've done it, Reddit!

[deleted]

Then please, for the love of god, r/fixthedamnpipes so it stops leaking

God I hope not

It wouldn't have been possible without you.

Nice to know you

Better than watching Ghellar bending silver spoons.

I'm So Meta Even This Acronym

I'm so meta even this acronym

For real, though. Just need to save this thread to have access to a bunch of others.

Then as new useful threads accumulate over time, make another one of these. Then once there are enough of these "Best AskReddit Posts" threads accumulated, make a thread asking, "What are the best 'Best AskReddit Post' posts?"

Now you have a single thread full of threads like this one that link to useful threads.

a single thread full of threads

A rope?

already bookmarked

I as well...

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/List_of_lists_of_lists

Seriously though, this post is going full Meta, useful shit not pertaining to just ask reddit being posted everywhere; I see you got your top comment out of this seemingly obvious Karma grab too!

A boy has to make a karma living somehow ¯_(ツ)_/¯

¯\_(ツ)_/¯\

"Looks like you dropped this friend! Always remember that in order to account for formatting, you have to type:

¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

To prevent limb loss!"

^I ^am ^not ^a ^bot, ^dude

Gee thanks ¯_(ツ)_/¯

wtf where is the actual bot, this shit's broken.

Badbot ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Found the bot; he ded

Our mistake was trying to copy straight text, where you clearly need to copy text 

In a code box by putting 4 spaces at the start of a new line

That prevent some weird thing that I'm not really sure how it works even after reading the bot's post.

It's a little bit less true now that you've said it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/66dctc/redditors_who_post_nudes_of_themselves_on_the/

Got a lot of quick and easy recipes from this one!

I'm so confused

Seems pretty straightforward to me, lots of quick and easy recipes that will melt in your mouth

Often Redditors who think themselves comical geniuses will ask these kind of "bait and switch" questions that start off sounding like something people might actually be interested in, often sexual or morbid, then change to something mundane and much less interesting. OP laughs at how he tricked everyone, and commenters get to laugh at no one real and say things like "What, did you expect something to do with nudes? This is just a useful thread about crock pot recipes XD"

You're totally right about those bait and switch posts but the recipe thread is meant to be so that you can see nudes of anyone who actually replies honestly (which no one will)

I get that's the idea, but unless OP is an idiot who doesn't know about the countless other ways of getting nudes from Reddit (gonewild and all it's derivatives) it seems like it was done as a joke under the thin guise of trying to get nudes.

You should check out several of the post histories :)

These kinds of threads usually get the best answers, surprisingly

You sound bitter.

About some things, sure. In general definitely not. I just find the most popular sense of humour on Reddit is a bit obnoxious sometimes. Lots of circlejerking.

[deleted]

I don't know what that means. Google tells me he's a baseball player.

Me too thanks

(╯°□°）╯︵ sʞuɐɥʇ ooʇ ǝɯ

Maybe I'm misreading but you seem to be a little judgemental? Reddit does have it's fair share of circle jerking but I don't see what's wrong with a harmless joke.

Maybe it's judgemental. That style of humour just makes me roll my eyes. It's very low effort. People can enjoy it all they want, I just don't.

[deleted]

Shitposter is right.

I'm not, two forms of delicious

click the link. The thread devolved into everyone sharing recipes lol

There is a special place in hell for people who delete their comments.

I'm always late to the party on these, but: A couple years ago there was a thread along the lines of "Redditors over 50, what are three pieces of advice you'd give younger folk?" A recurring answer was "marry the person who makes you happy." I'm not saying I decided then and there to propose to my girlfriend but it made me think. I referenced the post in my vows when we tied the knot this June. ;)

:) congrats!! we did it in August.

the trigger was: "you'll never find the perfect conditions, work hard and you will improve them"

awww! a thing i really love about the internet is the accumulation of conventional wisdom.

What should one do in their 20s to avoid regrets in their 30s and 40s?

This thread changed my life.

Why does that top answer not have gold? Thanks for this.

Beats me - I read through so many responses and it really changed my perspective. Glad you found it useful.

It may be a tad late for me but I can see where I've missed out. Maybe play catch up on a couple of things.

Nobody is going to mention that awesome sandwich tip one?

That one was really good. My favorite

I think /u/natek11 mentioned it.

Sometimes I make fun of myself in the morning for taking too long to make my lunch sandwich, I ask myself if I really needed to take my time to "craft" a sandwich when I am running behind.

I have been using the wrong term, that is a thread full of crafted sandwiches. So many good things.

nice one, thank you

My all time favorite

I put a leaf of lettuce on top of each bread, no bread gets soggy with this impervious barrier ...

Although not actually on askreddit, I found the ice soap 'lifehack' post particularly helpful.

I don't know if I fucked up my reddit or redditing or whatnot but back then reddit felt like one giant classroom.

That soap thing got big, then for 2 days frontpage was filled with dumb posts about that soap thing, how people failed with it, how it melted, how people don't understand why everyone is talking about ice soap in Gandalf picture. And two days later a guy with two dicks would do an ama and for two days everyone was on the job to make best meme out of it.

Does anyone know how to recreate this experience or is it forever lost?

i know what u mean... it wasn't just reddit but the whole internet used to be more.... topical i guess? some big thing happened and it was the talk of the town for a few days and most people got in on it. now there's so many sites i feel the conversation frayed infinitely. everyone goes on about their own thing, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but you rarely get that "community feel" online anymore.

That second comment

There was one where some asked for the best online certifications one can complete for free. I've always looked for it. Never found it again

Enjoy :-) https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6k0p7l/what_are_the_best_free_online_certificates_you/

Just look at the top posts of all time on this sub-reddit, it's one of them.

PT Cruiser owners, what tragedy burdened you with your car?

Thanks to this post on Biological Life Hacks I learned how to draw a perfectly straight line the first time, every time.

for those who dont want to scroll through the entire thread like i did

Thanks. I read too many comments and gave up. I felt like I was never going to learn how to draw a straight line and then I looked at your comment and was instantly relieved of my fears.

np its a useful thread but op shoulda linked straight to the comment and gave us the choice to scroll through or not

on redditisfun you can go to 'find comment' and search a keyword. should work if it's a parent comment.

I must be retarded, because it didn't work for me :(

i havent had a chance to try it yet

anyone else at work testing this on post its right now?

It's a wild Pickle Chick!

It's literally the second most upvoted comment in that thread.

the way i and a couple others saw it when we looked it was waaayyy down the page. not everyone sorts their comments the same way

Sorry, I didn't realize. How do you sort yours?

its all good :) now you know! i think its sorted by best but im not positive on that

Fuck yeah bitches, look whose the artist now!

Not trying to undermine your good deed, but usually just sort by top, it is the 2nd comment.

good to know, i just left it on default but ill try that then

did this not work for anyone else? is there something wrong with my brain??

Didnt work for me at all. :/

Ditto... my lines are straight-ish, but not any better than I can do without the technique.

Ooh I love this one! Quite a few different things on there I didn't know!

I don't understand what is novel about this. Maybe it's because I frequently draw and paint, but what is the difference between what this lifehack describes and generally focusing to connect two dots?

I feel like this is something that everybody should be taught in art class, but nobody knows.

Except it doesn't work at all. The only dots it lets you connect straight are those close enough to where you could draw a straight line naturally.

To draw a circle move your arm not your wrist.

Use something straight as a ruler

bullshit, Its literallyin my genes that I can't ever draw a straight line, even with ruler, or any other tools. My dad was actually kicked out of architect school for this reason lol

Asking Reddit about Reddit within Reddit when you need Reddit to show Reddit how to be a better Reddit?

The amount of META I see on reddit daily is mind Bottling.

Boggling

I mean, he's close enough for all intensive purposes.

Do I need the /s?

Intents and purposes* no OCD kicks in but not sorry.

You have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.

Reddit-ception?

It was an AskReddit comment that gave advice for men, but I can not find the link. Excellent advice so that after going to the toilet in the pants do not leak not a single drop of urine from penis. I still do this every time after toilet.

After urinating, place your fingers under the base of the scrotum, slide your fingers applying pressure along the direction to the penis. In this way you will squeeze out the remains of urine.

Here is the picture

I find this unnecessary. Simply pull your pants/boxers down a few inches more and relieve the pressure they were applying. Ever notice how you never get drippage when wearing basketball shorts or something loose fitting? It's because nothing was applying restricting pressure in that area

My favourites are the ones asking for the best android apps or the best not so known software/extension/website.

Every now and then you find something new and interesting you can use on your everyday life.

Same applies to the regular "what's your favorite insult?" post

r/Android has those threads every Saturday. Pretty useful.

One of my favourite parts of our community too, and whoever thought of it in the first place deserves a pat on the back.

I get so many pings when things (heh, poet and I didn't know it) go wrong there.

This is a really good one that was posted somewhat recently

https://www.reddit.com/r/windows/comments/6uwixq/what_are_your_top_lightweight/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage

DAE FIRST BRUSH YOUR TEETH???

I really like the music recommendations posts. They get really interesting, often.

[deleted]

I used too, but I got tired of sifting through all the lowfi songs.

Yeah Everytime I go on there it's low fi songs that all sound the same

My ex used to get onto to for not liking new music, said I wasn't cultured enough. I actually do enjoy new music, just didn't enjoy bands like King Khan and whatever BBQ show who do the same thing Iggy Pop was doing 40 years ago. Whenever I hear some new lofi garbage I always think of that terrible relationship.

Can they not be filtered out?

r/helpmediscovermusic helped me find some cool stuff. Sucks it's so small though :/

I would love to find another community that is as big as r/listentothis, but doesn't have ridiculous posting rules. I tried to post a super interesting song, but it was removed because the song had like 3 million views. That seems like a lot, but the video was from 5 years ago, and really that is a low number of views in today's age.

Small sub but I'm a big fan of /r/fuckmusic

I do! One of my favorite subs.

I wish there was something in between listentothis and listentoobscure

Never trust the Spotify playlists though. One second you have a list of the best and most underrated songs, the next you have an endless loop of the Friends theme song.

Thanks /u/kingfroglord

BRMC, Mystic Braves, Black Angels, Night Beats, Lorelle Meets the Obsolete. :p

The what would you do if you won the lottery post. Detailed info/statistics to help manage your money so you don't end up broke/dead.

The ones that make me stop and consider not killing myself.

If you can make it through tonight, tomorrow will be a better day. Just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other and realize troubles dont last always

The ones that attract silly bullshit answers. I use them to help me give fewer fucks about things

"What was it like the first time you gave a blowjob"

There was one of those last week about amputees and using the prosthetics during sex.

I can't find it :(

edit https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/709k5i/nsfw_amputees_with_robotic_prosthetic_arms_have/

There was one on child abuse that was just asked and I have it saved for reference. Let me go find it.

EDIT: Didn't find the child abuse one, but here's one on how parents screw up their children I also have saved: What do a lot of parents do to screw up their child? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70hcoa/what_do_a_lot_of_parents_do_to_screw_up_their/

EDIT 2: Found it!

What's technically not considered child abuse but should be? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6zns4u/whats_technically_not_considered_child_abuse_but/

One of the best parenting tips I vaguely remember was teaching your child to jump up and say "Whoopsie" after falling and not actually being hurt. Running over every time they fall makes them think something is actually wrong and they'll start to cry even though they're fine. I think I mangled that...

I'm not sure how I feel after reading both of those threads. A lot of what I read applies to my life. I guess that's why I'm so screwed up.

[deleted]

I've been a victim of it for 6 years. Verbal, emotional, and at very rare times, physical.

I'm sorry :( I hope you're doing better now

All the comments saying using hormone blockers on children that may be trans is abuse annoy me because they're totally reversible and have no major side effects

This one is pretty useful for when you forget the name of those little round mirrored dealies that hang from the ceiling at dances

Posts that you see your favourite subreddits leaking and it makes you grin.

I have seen a few really useful ones but am on mobile at work so not the one to post it for sure

I love it when /r/surrealmemes, /r/THE_PACK, and /r/PeOpLeFuCkInGDyInG leak.

If every rapper became farmers who would have the freshest beets?

Sort top all time on askreddit to find out

Unfortunately, with the way upvotes work now a lot of the more recent (and not always particularly useful posts) show near the top.

Yeah, apparently the "How would you feel about a law that requires people over the age of 70 to pass a specialized driving test in order to continue driving?" post from yesterday is now the all-time top AskReddit post.

I don't think it's because of the algorithm but because of how the question is phrased. I think it meets the very bare minimum of literal AskReddit rules, but still didn't really promote much discussion or many (interesting) stories. It's pretty much unanimously agreed upon to be a good idea, so I'm pretty sure people are just offering their "input" with an upvote.

It would be much, much better suited on dozens of other different types of subreddits and I don't think AskReddit is a place for policy debate, but I guess it fits under the rules.

It's essentially a yes/no question, which corresponds with upvote/downvote, and the question is objectively in favor of yes/upvote

I really doubt it's the new algorithm because only 3 of the top 25 posts from /r/all/top are from after the algorithm change.

There should be a way to sort by "most commented" or something.

Whoever did that algorithm change really just completely destroyed reddits history. Such a shame.

Such a shame. That post does not even belong in this sub.

I don't think this is true. I believe that old posts were adjusted accordingly, as well. There's just more reddit users now.

The way they used to do vote fuzzing resulted in significantly lower overall karma scores. They stopped doing it a few months ago and karma scores across the board are much much higher now.

Idk how to fix that there should be a sort by old option

Maybe they could implement some kind of "sort by all-time best" option that would take the post's score and divide it by the number of subscribers the subreddit had at the time it was posted. That way, more recent posts (when the subreddit had more subscribers and therefore higher-scoring posts) wouldn't drown out the older posts.

So an upvote to subscriber ratio. That would be cool.

I'm pretty sure they adjust past posts like that At least, they certainly used to.

brilliant. please repost to /r/lightbulb and other subs like that.

Post this on /r/IdeasForTheAdmins!

I wish we could narrow by timeframe better than hour/day/week/month/year/all. Like what if I want to know what the top posts were from when the sub was created to 5 years ago? Or the top posts from 3-5 years ago? Or, and this has happened to me a lot, what if I'm looking for a post that I know was good from somewhere in the last 3 days, but I don't remember anything more specific than that? Sort by top/day and it's not there, sort by top/week and you'll never be able to find it.

tl;dr reddit's 'search' function still sucks dick

That would be cool, but I guess the way reddit is built doesn't make starting at older posts feasible.

I read a good one.

If you're a bloke and you're going for a wee and you're shaking the last few drops out (you know the very last drops that can come out in your pants)

You reach under your balls and press your gooch (the bit between your bum and your balls) and it will help push the rest out.

There was an Askreddit post about reddit tips and tricks. I learnned two very cool things.

  1. www.redditp.com/r/pics

Adding the p will display all images as a slideshow. The link works more or less normally (you can sort by top and stuff)

  1. www.reddit.com/r/askreddit+news

You can browse multiple subreddits at once without an accout by adding them.

=

If you combine both of these you can browse every NSFW subreddit in a slideshow all at once.

Reddit, what is your reason to live?

I appreciate the cooking-related ones, I didn't grow up with a lot of instruction for preparing food so I love reading experienced chefs' stuff here.

Do you have any specific cooking related ones you could link? I'd like to read them.

Anything utilitarian, or potentially so. Must-see websites, must-have Chrome extensions, best YouTube videos with fewer than 100 views, and so on. At the very least, they're interesting.

Lifehacks/advice posts always seem like they're written by teenagers; "What's the best way to meet a woman?" "What's the worst thing your parents ever did?" and so on. I enjoy the opportunity to get a few karma points for something I've been stewing over for a while as much as the next person, but the former type of question always leads to much more interesting results. IMO.

[deleted]

[deleted]

Oh ffs why did i click the TWO links?

[deleted]

Fool me once..

[deleted]

We need to go deeper.

[deleted]

This one's my favorite

I use RES. Saw the video link icon and knew exactly what it was.

I prefer this

I use RES. Saw the image link icon and knew exactly what it was.

Aaahh.. the ol' reddit Thisaroo

I was waiting for that.

This really is a useful thread though

RES master race.

It's not your everyday roll, though; it's a remix with Avicii and shit

motherfucker

take a look at this one

Especially this one!

Dang, that's a good one! Got all the answers I need in one place!

I am. It's quite helpful actually.

Askreddit post: 7/10 Askreddit post with rice: 10/10

I’ve found rice very useful.

I couldn't find it again, but there was a thread a few months back all about "Cheap but fun things to do with your SO". There were some real gems in there, including a DIY drive in movie. I've used a few as well, really wish I'd saved it.

The ones with really good stories, duh

(The "Incident", wedding horrorshows, asshole relatives, etc.)

OP.. Guess the most useful thing you'll find out of this is the (SERIOUS) tag.

but serious tag posts attract way less of that sweet sweet karma.

Time to save this so I can never look at this again

smashes dat save button

I guess its this one now.

Anybody have any ones for the college application process?

Anything that is relationship advice

I like the 'what's the best documentaries/films' etc type threads as I can sometimes get ideas for stuff to watch from such threads

I saved this thread

This one:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1hb8qo/which_websites_do_you_usually_visit_when_you_are/

Dont really remember but it asked millionaires of Reddit how they Got their wealth

I don't have the link but it was something like "What do you enjoy more than anyone else?" and the top comment was "Sleeping with my wife" and then all the other answers were variations on "Sleeping with /u/whateverhisnamewas's wife".

There was one a while ago about good jobs that don't require a high school diploma. I spent a good few hours reading about some pretty sweet gigs to get. Maybe someone will link it.

The thread which asked people in their 30s to give advice to people in their 20s - or something like that.

One of the advices was to make a habit of getting in shape and staying that way; the later you start, the hard it is to keep up. Opened my eyes how fast I'm aging and how much I'm going to suffer (already seeing the signs) if I stay on my ass.

There was one recently... Hang on I'll find it

Edit

I like the ones about best phone apps and can waste days digging through them when they pop up.

You wouldn't believe what number one is!!!!

Those lists of stupid lifehacks that don't actually benefit anyone always have one tip about putting a car remote under your chin to extend the range. This one actually works. Lock my car from twice the distance without having to backtrack when I forget. It's great.

This one

Can someone explain the Descartes before the whore pun?

It sounds like you're saying Puting the cart before the horse

I actually got it while taking a shower a hour ago lmao. For some reason it just popped in my head solved lol

now it's this one, because it compiled the best of askreddit?

[deleted]

/u/Gluttony4 - "Iirc, it was an AskReddit comment that gave advice which drove away tinnitus that I'd had for years."

I also read this comment, on a /r/WTF thread of some guys lighting a mortar in their garage. . I suffer quite badly from Tinnitus and thought i'd give it a go. It is a temporary "solution" for me, it does relieve some of the ache for a few minutes. I do it several times a day, when my Tinnitus gets really bad. Here is the Guys comment.

Read this thread and never make a shitty sandwich again.

This one.

This one

The comments

U bb :)

not this one.

This whole thread is awful

This one is about to become the most useful askreddit post.

ThIs one now, since it's pretty much the hub to all the other useful posts

When you don't use the serious tag...

M ^m E ^e T ^t A ^a

Not this one

Ones that make you laugh or ones where you learn things.

Posts asking what the most useful askreddit posts are, because I can get whole bunch of different opinions on what the most useful askreddit posts are.

this one might be useful

Saved

Aaaannnddd into the rabbit hole I go

I find those meta posts really useful. If you are into that.

How to get Reddit Gold.

I like to hear about sandwiches.

What makes a man perfect gamer?

This one apparently

Reddit, what are the most meta askreddit posts?

Hmm....actually....this one, without a doubt.

This post because it links all the most useful askreddit posts making it the most useful

Check later

I think this is the most useful post

The unethical life pro tips are always fantastic!

Welcome to the rabbit hole people

This thread

After all these comments, this one.

Saved

saving

Not this at least.

This one.

*

It's this one.

Ironically it might now be this one.

Com for latr

This one because it tells me the most useful ask Reddit post

Bloop blip bleep noop

This

That guy who was gilded over 80 times for his motivational comment.

This one..

Great question, OP... This thread is gonaa keep me busy , for a LONG time.

.

You make a good point there. I hadn't thought about it from that perspective.

I agree.Although it can be misleading to say that was the original idea behind it and that you don't have to search a bit for what you're looking for,it can definitely be of good use.It is a bit sad at times,though.

This one.

Reddit, what are the most useful askreddit posts?

This one because all of them should/will be here.

Thanks for the rabbit hole OP.

I've found this wonderful comment detailing free software that may be helpful for students to be very useful. Plenty of great links there and in the rest of the post.

This post is great

Well now it's this one.

V00ĺ000ķķlllkkb6sßoei9ggggyggp00hvvirb00ddegofjjedfeoģevp734e4rr533rr33yčylv3r3cŕģgg33333ér3ŕ98788rr3rrrejdyelf8lbrþtoò

I agree,fellow antimatter abomination!

3r3crggg33 to you too!

This ones my go to

This one

Fuck it! I'm just going to save the whole damn post for later.

This one

This one

This post.

!redditsilver

This one, for sure.

This one

This one. It has a decent amount of useful AskReddit posts, go check it out. ^^/s

Great thread!

The sandwich one was a game changer for sure.

Leaving a comment to find this back later

Hopefully this one

I have no idea how to bookmark threads

For later

This one, coincidentally!

not this one /s

Probably this one.

Sandwich tips

IMO this

This one.

Any where in the title, they ask specific types of people specific questions. General questions posted to everyone get a lot of traffic and either yucks or self-loathing/depression admissions in the comments, but not a lot of depth in those puddles

Save

There has never been a single askreddit post that was worth the paper it was printed on.

There was a sandwich thread that rocked my world

This one.

It took me reading it three times to realize the one link was not cookingforeigners.com

This one, hopefully.

Looks like this post holds that title now, Congrats OP!

u/666mountains

None, askreddit is dumb as fuck.

This one~ love yourself

This one.

This Reddit post that redirects to a plethora of other useful Reddit posts.

this one

This is the best thread ever, I've learned so much!

The [serious] ones.

What about the one with the coconut?

This one.

This one.

Well this one now.

R

INDTBO

This thread is amazing

Any of the 'unethical lifehacks' posts

r/bitcoin ❤👌💱💲

Not this one...

This one probably.. saved.

I think askreddit just peaked

This one <3

Saved

NOT THIS ONE

Since this post now accumulates the benefits of all the other most useful askreddit posts, it is now the most useful askreddit post.

This one.

Honestly, this one is.

I don't know how to link on mobile and I'm lazy, but there was a thread awhile ago called "Transgender people of Reddit, when did you know when you were trans?" Having it here on AskReddit helped me connect the dots that I wouldn't have run across otherwise.

After this list is completed: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/reddit_what_are_the_most_useful_askreddit_posts/?st=J7Q74CR3&sh=d366604a

This one, because it has the most useful askreddit posts.

Not exactly; I haven't seen any links to other threads.

This one, probably.

Hey, I see what you are doing! Your trying to become #1 by being a link to a whole buch of them! /s

That one not too long ago about everyone's favorite app. I had purchased an iPhone that day and racked up on dank apps.

The ones that make me laugh

This.

how to get reddit gold

This useful guide to surviving immortal snails

Inadvertently, this one.

Commenting to look through later

The 'Internet white whale' one, thats what drove me to create a reddit account, and i found a game from my childhood that i've been trying to remember for YEARS.

This one

Not this one(?)

Commenting to save for later.

What is an album with no bad songs in it. I got me too many new albums to listen to.

That's subjective. What I think is a flawless album won't be the same to another person.

Pretty sure the fellow was asking for people's opinions, not objective truths.

I like to just be sure.

Fair enough.

Saving!

This post

I had posted one on how to get Microsoft Office for 10 dollars.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/2ybbaz/lptif_you_work_for_a_large_company_or/

I once read that in order to start peeing at a urinal, when someone standing behind you or in the vicinity is distracting you, is to start multiplying random numbers. It distracts your mind and stops the mental block.

Thing is, I never stopped doing it, regardless of the situation. I have been doing math in my head every time I pee for the last 4 years. FML

Technically speaking... it would be this one, as this post acts like a giant archive to useful AskReddit posts.

About the useful app and cool gadgets

This one.

hopefully someone anyone here can help me find that askreddit from a month or two ago asking what successful habits you started from 10 years ago are worth passing on/lead to success down the road?

It was kinda like time traveling but since you can't time travel we had other people saying hey if you do this in 10 years or so you will be super glad you did.

Anyone? Bueller?

Meta.

Has anyone said the famous "not movies" thread yet?

well, provided that askreddit posts like this usually links to useful stuff, wouldn't it be them self? until a certain point where they only point to each other at which point they would start point at usefull stuff again, sounds like a differential equation to me? maybe someone should get on to this?

Probably this one where all the useful askreddit questions are mentioned

saved

These that show you useful posts

Comment to Archive

This one, now.

Fuck off with the posts that start off with "Reddit,"

This one is full of them!

This is awesome

M E G A M E T A T H R E A D

Leaving this here for myself for future looking

I just started doing it all the most useful askreddit posts

This one, as it helps you find useful Askreddit posts.

probably this one now.

This one

Isn't this life tip the origin of the best tricks i learned from reddit.

this one now

This Post

This one.

Definitely not this one because it's just full of a thousand comments saying, "this one"

You people don't know what useful means.

This one is now

This one.

Whats a good pickup line?

Thank you

ITT:

This post

I need a useful answer guys.

The ones that arnt shitposts

One’s that give insight into a group of people you know of, but don’t know

It will be this one once all the good links are compiled here

This one

Now it's this one

This one, since it's basically a list to the best threads on this sub, all in one place!!

I guess this post is joining the ranks of the most useful askreddit posts.

This one about sandwiches is pretty useful if your lunches lack variety.

First time apartment owners. A lot of good info

Ones that don't ask circular meta questions for shitpost karma.

Strong bias, but I think my top post on AskReddit is one of the most usefull posts

Pretty sure this post will turn out to be one of the most useful askreddit posts.

Can we go more Meta than this? Can you Reddit?

Saves for future use.

Forgets until someans asks again in some time.

I saw this great one full of entertaining askreddits! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/reddit_what_are_the_most_useful_askreddit_posts/

Well I don't know about you, OP, but if I were looking for the most popular posts in a sub, I'd just click "top".

I get your point, but the most popular posts are not always the most useful (depending on how one defines useful). Like say posts related to memes and whatnot might get upvoted into the top.

^ > Implying memes are not useful and are not the fuel of life and what keeps me going.

Everyone on reddit is a meme except you.

So I am NOT a meme?

What le pie did you just freaking waffle about me, you normal bish? I’ll have you know I’m le most random guy ever and I’ve been involved in numerous Memebase raids on 4chan, and I has over 300 confirmed cheezburgers. I am trained in epic randomness and I’m teh most awesomesauce smexiest PANDA!! in my entire middle school xD. You are nothing to me but just another spork. I will make you ROFL with teh 1337 randumness the likes of which has never been seen before on le Earth, mark my freaking wordz. You think you can get away with saying that crap to me over le interwebz? Think again, normie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of epic ninjaz across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for teh storm, d00d. The storm that wipes out the GAY epic fail thing you call your lifez. You’re freaking dead, bro. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can troll you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare randomness. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed pwnage, but I have access to the epic lolz of My Life Is Average and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable butt off the face of MURICA XD, you piece of crap. If only you could have known what uber fail your little “Ray William Johnson is gay” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have SHUDDUP! But you couldn’t, you didn’t know I was bisexual, and now you’re paying the price, you baka. I will throw PANCAKE MIX all over you and you will drown in it. You’re freaking zetta lame, bro. XD

Not this one lol

Not this one for sure

I would imagine it'd be this one because it links all the most useful askreddit posts.

I guess theoretically if your post is successfull the most usefull would be this very post, as it would serve as an aggregator for the finding all of the other most useful posts. Not sure if that's some kind of paradox, or if I'm just kind of tired and need to go to bed.

This one.

+1

This one because it has all the most useful askreddit posts in one post

If this one gets popular enough...

Then surely this is the most useful?

META

This post

Well, this one now.

Probably this one now

Now that you've asked this, it'll be this one.

This one

Not this one. Ooooohhh... Get toasted 🍞... This is toast...

Shut the fuck up... You toast

You butter stop...

Probably this.

Not this one^i^dont^need^the^/s^right

[deleted]

Isn't life all just one subjective experience?

Kant you chill, Chomsky?

[deleted]

Yeah, I stupidly thought I could try and add a [serious] tag due to someones request, then realised you can't edit titles. Finally, I forgot askreddit doesn't allow you to have the paragraph text after I had edited it.

Knowing Reddit, the ones giving relationship and sex advice.

None of them, we will all die in 80 years or less and nothing we do will amount to anything in the grand scheme of things.

This one.

This one

This one.

The meta ones.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/reddit_what_are_the_most_useful_askreddit_posts/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=50c98857

This one ^^^now

This, because I get to see all the other useful posts.

This, because I get to see all the other useful posts.

There's this one post called "Reddit, what are the most useful askreddit posts?" By u/thelangers Loads of people have posted plenty of other posts there.

This one.

This is probs the 5th time i've seen this post in the pas months

ITT: This one.

this one right here: https://pay.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/reddit_what_are_the_most_useful_askreddit_posts/

Well, I'm sure, now, it's this one.

This will be one of them soon enough.

This one has some good links to useful Ask reddit posts

This one.

The ones I can jack off to.

I'd say this one's up there

This one for sure

This one.

The ones that ask what the most useful askreddit posts making it the most meta askreddit posts?

[removed]

How did it take over 8 hours for you to detect this post violated the rules? For a bot, you sure are slow and shitty.

OP edited the post.

After the bot said it was violating the rules. Which took over 8 hours

Fucking trash rule

This because it takes me to all of them :)

Probably this one

meta

Cool

Technically, this one.

This one hopefully

I'm assuming now this one will be included in the answer to your question.

Commenting to come back tomorrow

Soon it will be this one

Saving.

Soon to be this one.

Awesome

Askreddit posts asking about what are the most useful askreddit posts

Well this one, for sure.

It would have to be this one because it shows multiple links to great posts.

This one, since it contains the other most helpful AskReddit posts.

This one

This one:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/reddit_what_are_the_most_useful_askreddit_posts/?st=J7PNPHYW&sh=869b1e27

Nice

We've gone full circle now.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/reddit_what_are_the_most_useful_askreddit_posts/

This one, a few months from now

Probably this one now.

This post

This one

My guess would be this post most likely, no?

This one, because it's a menu of the most useful ones all in one place.

This one because you can use it to find even more useful posts.

Off topic, but this thread is like a list of lists. Kind of like a 2D array.

It's pretty cool.

The only one you really need is this post, which gives an overview of useful askreddit posts.

Im never going to run out of new useful information now. Wow.

Well now it's going to be this one.

Meta: this one

The ones that ask what the most useful askreddit posts are.

This one.

This one.

This one

Yeah. It's definitely this one now.

This one I guess

This one.

This one

This askreddit post...

This one.

Well by definition, this one.

This.

This one

Now I know which ones can help me

In a way, this one.

This one apparently.

Ironically, it's this one.

This one

This one.

This one

This one.

This one.

This one, for linking to all the most useful askreddit posts.

This one

This one, of course.

Soon to be this one!

This one

This post is the most useful askreddit post

The original ones.

probably this one now that all of them other ones are in this thread

This one.

This post.

This one.

Probably this one now.

Now, this one.

This post..

This post.

Well this one now

Technically this thread.

I'm gonna have to say this one.

And now this post also goes to the the list of most useful askreddit posts!

[removed]

The flaw in you logic is the presumption that the sole purpose of women is to be ravaged by men.

this one.

This one <3

This one

This one

This one <3

This one I would say

This one.

This one.

This one

This one, now. Thanks.

EDIT: lol wtf why is this getting downvoted.

This one.

This

This