## [t3_nv4pwv](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/nv4pwv/ha_trigger_warning_i_need_to_understand_if_these/) Hi everyone. This is my first time posting here and I am a bit apprehensive because I don't want to trigger anyone's anxiety and also because I don't want to be asking the same cliché question for the millionth time, which I'm sure annoys a few people by now. I'll try to make my story short. I started taking Citalopram 20mg in 2018 for Anxiety and Depression. It took me around 2 months to feel what I can say was "really good". That turned out to be a great year overall, lots of goals achieved and I started going to the gym for the first time in my life and it felt great. I could see my mental health was in much better shape. Fast-forward to March 2021, I decided, stupidly, that I was ready to come off of them. My main motivations where that I didn't want to depend on yet another daily drug and I wanted to see if therapy and meditation had improved my coping skills. So I tapered the meds and came to a full stop around the middle of April. It felt ok for a while, then it felt quite great and then I could see the symptoms coming back one by one, more intensely every day. Last Friday, I've had quite an intense episode, and spent pretty much all day exhausted and in pain and our old time friend the Incoming Heart Attack. Because no matter how many health check-ups you do and no matter how many times the doctors tell you you're fine, you never know, THIS TIME I'm sure it will happen, cause THIS TIME it's different and I am 200% it's an heart attack. Anyway it kept going until today. Saturday was very mild, Sunday was intense again, Monday too. I tried to go for a run and after 5 minutes I had to stop because I was sure my heart rate was too fast and I was going to pass out or have a heart attack, OF COURSE (I have to be sarcastic, it's my coping mechanism). So on Monday I decided I wasn't ready to go drug-free and this was just too debilitating and there's sooo many things I want to do but don't have the energy to do because I'm always constantly facing impeding doom. So I restarted Citalopram. I felt a little better in the evening. Today I woke up feeling bad again, just as soon as I woke up. I would normally have at least an easy breakfast, but not today. Today the anxiety woke up with me. I did all the breathing and grounding exercises in the book, mindful meditation and all the tips and tricks I was given over the years. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing had a lasting effect. So I went to a Psychiatrics A&E appointment and got prescribed Bromazepam. I've taken it, and am feeling slightly better, but definitely not 100%. Also feel a bit dizzy now, but I think that's normal. As for the symptoms, I have pains all over my body, sometimes on my left arm, then on my knee, then on one finger of my right hand, then on my chest, then on my neck, then back to the arm, then the hamstring, and it just never ever stops. From my understanding, the pain comes from muscle tension due to hyperventilation or just "forgetting" to breathe. But sometimes it's so intense and scary and from time to time I feel these (what I call) "jump-scares" where my body just suddenly "jumps" out of too much pain (which then triggers more worry and anxiety).Along with that, my brain is also a mess, I find it super hard to focus and I find myself constantly trying to force myself to feel happy and it rarely ever works, at least not for a significant amount of time. I find myself constantly checking my BPM and Spo2, an old habit that stopped in 2018 when Citalopram kicked in. I know it's all in my head (literally) and I know it's most likely withdrawal symptoms But please, I'm going through this alone and I really just want to know if other people have gone through the same. I'm so desperate to continue my life and want to do a ton of things and just can't. I can't even go for a run in the sun because I'm afraid I'll pass out or die and no one will find me, or at least not in time to save me. I want to know other people with intense pain from anxiety. I want to feel less odd and stupid and weak. --- submitted to [r/Anxiety Disorders](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety Disorders) by [u/RazumikhinPG](https://www.reddit.com/user/RazumikhinPG)